This morning I led a teleclass called, "Not Just Another Meeting," for a group of 10 UN/AIDS workers out of Geneva. I designed and led this class for the first time in January of this year. It didn't go all that well. I had a difficult time at first teasing out their issues and challenges. I prepared a great guidebook with everything I knew and could find on meeting facilitation. Each class led to an increasing level of confusion and self-doubt on my part. The more I got to know the group's challenges, the more I realized what a nearly impossible situation they faced everyday, and the less confident I felt that I could help them. The less confident I felt, the more information I prepared. The more information I prepared, the more I talked. The more I talked, the less they talked. The less they talked, the lower the energy and the more lifeless and pointless the sessions felt. I completed the class feeling it was among the worst I had ever led. Still, evaluations came back indicating that enough value was gleaned that another class was warranted.

So we began the first session last Tuesday. I had this feeling again of impending doom. Participants are spread all over the globe. Many are in under-developed countries with poor phone connections that echo. This, coupled with their accents, make understanding each other difficult. Further, many of them have difficulty getting connected to the bridge and often show up very late if at all. They are all very busy and work very hard, making pre-class preparation a challenge. Finally, as facilitators, most of them are good at being silent or "neutral," the last thing you want from the students in any class.

Given my history with this group, I felt anxiety and frustration every time I thought about it. I spent hours preparing content, feeling stumped on how to create processes and experiences I could conduct over the phone that would engage the group. As a big believer in experiential training, I felt stifled to create experiences around this "boring" subject of meeting facilitation--everyone hates meetings, how can I make this interesting? The whole thing just felt like a struggle and I was beginning to wonder whether it was worth the effort--mine or theirs.

But this morning, something shifted, inside me. And it didn't happen by accident, I decided to make the shift. As I attempt to sort out what happened, I realize that I finally facilitated my "inner group" in a way that got them all on the same page. I got my inner voices on task and kept them there. I effectively self-facilitated this morning and created one of my best teleclass experiences ever. And believe me, I am a perpetual self-critic. I very, very seldom say I am really happy with anything I do or have done. Today, I can honestly say that I did an awesome job with this group. And, I have the feeling that they might say the same. Here's what happened...I think.

Psychologists tell us that our personalities are made up of quite a collection of sub-personalities, which are pretty well defined, but integrated (that is under our control (and whoever "I" am in this context is a whole other, and very deep subject) to varying degrees depending on the level of our individual consciousness. Most of us have the inner critic or judge who points out what's wrong; the inner child, who can be the playful child, the wounded child, the problem child, etc.; the adventurer, the lover, the friend, the companion, the intellectual, the teacher, the student, etc.

Imagine all of these personalities in a meeting room all vying for their own agendas, some of them overt, some hidden and unknown. As facilitators, how do we manage such a mess? This is the question we ask everyday when we're in front of such groups. Today, prior to the start of my teleclass, knowing that my outer group is very well-behaved and open and eager to learn, I believe that my inner group had other ideas. There was the doubter who didn't think I had the skills to succeed with this group. There was the critic who felt everything I did or thought was wrong. There was the shy little boy afraid to really speak up. There was the intellectual eager to share all he knows and to show how smart he is. There was the frustrated and confused adult who just didn't know what to do. And there were probably a lot of others hiding under the table.

But there was someone else I met in this group this morning. Or perhaps, to spin an old but relevant cliche, I should say that he was in the group but not of it. He could feel and experience the thoughts and feelings of this inner group, but he also could stand separately from it. As the teleclass began to unfold, he began to facilitate and lead this group. He raised his voice, increased his energy and decided that this group (both his inner group and the outer teleclass) could do this work. He kept his energy high. He challenged the group with clear, succinct questions. He remained silent and waited for them to respond. He pushed them gently in the direction of their purpose, and they pushed back, putting their energy and experience into this purpose. They began to mirror his energy and intention. We began to become of one mind, walking together, on course and on purpose.

How did this happen? For one thing, I released the hold on my far too complicated agenda. I decided that the experience we were all creating as a group was more important than the information I had to share on paper. I trusted that I could have a conversation with them about what was important to them that still related to the theme of the day. I believed in their own ability and desire to do the work and gave them the space to do it. I trusted and believed in my own ability to respond appropriately and creatively in the moment. But most of all, I showed up as the kind of facilitator I wanted to be. I saw all the personalities I could identify with in my inner group, yet decided to identify with none of them. I decided to be who and how I wanted to be, the kind of facilitator who would have my students leaving the class thinking, "Wow, that was the best class I ever attended!" Now I'm not sure what they're saying right now, but I can tell you this, it was one of the best classes I ever attended!

What can you do this week to practice taking dominion over your "inner" group. Please send us your comments.

Listening to Your Inner Voice: Discover The Truth Within You And Let It Guide Your Way - A New Collection Of Affirmations And Meditations, by Douglas Bloch

The author offers insights that can help readers grow spiritually and find a deeper sense of purpose in their lives. This book was very helpful, it opened my eyes to believe in my inner voice. I've always second guessed my inner voice, this made me more aware and helped me make wiser decisions that came from the heart and soul.--anonymous reader