Archives at Zinester: What's A Church. Off-the-church-walls. Humor & Jokes

Scripture: Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other, or be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” NLT

In America the average length of time for a dollar bill of any denomination is determined by the amount on the face of the bill.

A $1 bill lasts about 22 months --- less than two years
A $5 bill lasts about 24 months --- two years
A $10 bill lasts about 36 months --- three years
A $20 bill lasts about 48 months --- four years
A $50 bill lasts about 108 months --- nine years
A $100 bill lasts about 108 months --- nine years

There was this $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. They were both 2 years old and the $20 dollar bill still had two more years of life left to live according to the scale above.

They first met when they were produced in Washington DC. As they were laying there side by side getting ready for the shredder the $1 dollar bill said to the $20 dollar bill, "Hey, where have you been. You look awful?"

The $20 dollar bill replied, "Man I have been living it up having a ball! I’ve been traveling to distant countries, going to the finest restaurants, to the biggest and best casinos, numerous boutiques, the mall uptown, the mall downtown, the mall across town and even been to the ultimate, the Mall of America.”

In fact, just this week I've been in Europe, on Rodeo Drive, at an all day retreat spa, in a top-notch hair salon and a brand new casino in Las Vegas! On Sunday I was even at a Professional Football Game! I’ve been everywhere and I’ve done it all! Unfortunately I was in the fast lane and now my time is up way before my time if you get my drift?”

After describing his great travels, the $20 dollar bill looked at the $1 dollar bill and noticed he looked just like new, "What about you? Where have you been?" The $1 dollar replied, "Well, I've been to the Baptist church, the Methodist church, the Presbyterian church, the Episcopalian church, the Church of God in Christ, the Catholic church …

"WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT JUST A M I N U T E!" shouted the $20 dollar bill to the $1 dollar bill. “What's a church?”

Prayer: Father help me to understand that the money I have is on loan from You and give me the wisdom to know how to spend it to further your kingdom, that You Father are glorified. In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen!