|
Off-the-church-walls Archives Index
|
Subscribe
|
|
| << October06, 2004 - Off-the-church-walls |
October11, 2004 - Off-the-church-walls >> |
|
To pay a little respect for the comedian who never got any respect. Rodney Dangerfield died yesterday at the UCLA Medical Center. He was 82. Molly Rhea sent me many of these to add to my list. Some of his famous jokes were: My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me. Basement? When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right. I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch. Oh, when I was a kid, when my parents went shopping, they always took me with them. That way they could park in a handicapped section. What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me. Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance. I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at prisons and wait for parolees. My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. And I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab! One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh! Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H. Oh, my wife loves vacations. The other night she told me, "I wanna go someplace I've never been before." I took her to a men's room. People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon... Oh, when I was a kid I was poor. We were so poor, when my father died; they asked my mother, "Paper or plastic?" You wanna have laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, "The car behind me is paying for two." When I was a kid I got no respect. I worked in a pet store. People kept asking how big I get. Are you participating in the passion and action of your times? Or, are you "hunkered" down in the grass like a toad on mowing day, just trying to survive? Like Rodney Dangerfield, you find yourself tugging at your tie and saying, "I can't get no respect." There is hope and respect in Christ. http://oaktree.faithsite.com |
| << October06, 2004 - Off-the-church-walls |
October11, 2004 - Off-the-church-walls >> |
|
Off-the-church-walls Archives Index
|
Subscribe
|
|
|
Archives powered by Zinester's Mailing List Service
Details on Off-the-church-walls |
Browse for more newsletters at Zinester's Ezine Directory
Managed by Zinester's Mailing List Management |