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| << January18, 2005 - Off-the-church-walls |
February01, 2005 - Off-the-church-walls >> |
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Today's Stock Market Report Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Coca Cola fizzled. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated. Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market. =========================== Religion as Baseball Calvinists believe the game is fixed. Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper. Quakers won't swing. Unitarians can catch anything. Amish walk a lot. Pagans sacrifice. Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out often. Televangelists get caught stealing. Episcopalians pass the plate. Evangelicals make effective pitches. Fundamentalists balk. Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch. Atheists refuse to have an Umpire. Baptists want to play hardball. Premillenialists expect the game to be called soon on account of darkness. The Pope claims never to have committed an error. Have a great day Kevin Rayner Rochester, MN http://oaktree.faithsite.com |
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