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March31, 2005 - Off-the-church-walls >> |
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The Parrot So, there's this fellow with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT"! But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you", and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet. This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invectives that would make a veteran sailor blush. At this point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet... At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door. The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I've given you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on". The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, " By the way, what did the chicken do"? _______________________ PARROT ON PERCH A parrot which sat on a perch out side a downtown restaurant would call to passers by "Come on in the food is good", however one day when a man went by the parrot said, "Boy are you ugly". The man went in the restaurant and complained to the owner. The owner took the man out to where the parrot sat, and warned the parrot that he would be parrot soup if he ever said that again. A few weeks later the same guy was passing by and the man heard the parrot clear his throat. He turned toward the parrot and said "Did you say something?" The parrot, out of the side of his mouth, mutters "You know." Have a great day Kevin Rayner Oak Tree Church Rochester, MN http://oaktree.faithsite.com |
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