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Occupational Hymns Astronaut: "Nearer My God, To Thee" Baker: "I Need Thee Every Hour" Barber: "A Parting Hymn We Sing" Baseball Batter: "Seek Thee First" Builder: "How Firm A Foundation" and "The Church's One Foundation" Canoeist: "Flow, River, Flow" Carpenter: "The Nail Scarred Hand" Children's Librarian: "We've A Story To Tell" Chiropractor: "Awake My Soul, Stretch Every Nerve" Civil Engineer: "When I Survey The Wondrous Cross" Dentist: "Crown Him With Many Crowns" Electrician: "O Joyful Light" and "Send The Light" Fisherman: "Shall We Gather At The River?" Golfer: "There Is A Green Hill Far Away" Gossiper: "Pass It On," "It Is No Secret," and "Oh, For A Thousand Tongues" Historian: "Tell Me The Old, Old Story" IRS: "All To Thee (I Owe)" and "We Give Thee But Thine Own" Jogger: "The Path Of Life" Lifeguard: "Come To The Water" Long-Distance Trucker: "On The Highways And Byways Of Life" Mathematician: "10,000 Times, 10,000 Times" Medical Technician: "Revive Us Again" Mountain Climber: "The Rock That Is Higher Than I" Newlywed: "I Need Thee Every Hour" Obstetrician: "He Is Able To Deliver Thee" Optometrist: "Open Mine Eyes That I Might See" and "When I Can Read My Title Clear" Paratrooper: "Now On Land And Sea Descending" Philosopher: "I Am Thinking Today" Politician: "Standing On The Promises" Real Estate Agent: "I've Got A Mansion" Sailboater: "Deep River" Sceptic: "Almost Persuaded" Shopper: "Sweet By And By" Speech Therapist: "He Never Said A Mumbling Word" Steeple Builder: "Lift High The Cross" Stonecutter: "Rock Of Ages" Switchboard Operator: "There's A Call Comes Ringing" Tailor: "Holy, Holy, Holy" Voice Teacher: "Sing Them Over Again To Me" Watchmaker: "Take Time To Be Holy" Watchman: "Silent Night" Weatherman: "There Shall Be Showers Of Blessings" ===================== COMPUTERS, ARE THEY MALE OR FEMALE ? FEMALE ? Top Five Reasons Computers Must Be Female... 5. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference 3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 2. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as: "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." And the #1 reason computers must be female: 1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. ___________________ MALE ? Five reasons to believe computers are male: 1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless. 2. As soon as you have one, a better model comes along. 3. They look attractive - until you get them home. 4. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night. 5. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. ================== A friend tells the story about her sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up. "They think we have an accent," she replied. "But they have an accent, right?" the boy asked. "They talk funny." "Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are d-r-a-w-n out." His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?" Kevin Rayner Oak Tree Church Rochester, MN http://www.otchurch.org |
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