Things My Mother Taught Me

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING:.
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE:
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD:
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT:
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about GENETICS:
"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS:
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE:
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE:
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like."

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
 
My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep crying and I'll *give* you something to cry about."
 
My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
 
My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
 
My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
 
My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
 
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"
 
My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't Exaggerate!!!"
 
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
 
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"
 
My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

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