YOUR TOP TEN

The top 10 Country singles:  
  
1. Brad Paisley - The World  
2. Carrie Underwood - Don't Forget To Remember Me  
3. Rodney Atkins - If You're Going Through Hell (Before The  
Devil Even Knows)  
4. Toby Keith - A Little Too Late  
5. Kenny Chesney - Summertime  
6. Rascal Flatts - Me And My Gang  
7. Gary Allan - Life Ain't Always Beautiful  
8. The Wreckers - Leave The Pieces  
9. Little Big Town - Bring It On Home  
10. Steve Holy - Brand New Girlfriend  


The top 10 Country albums:  
  
1. Steve Holy - Brand New Girlfriend  
2. Rascal Flatts - Me And My Gang  
3. Dixie Chicks - Taking The Long Way  
4. Johnny Cash American V: A Hundred Highways  
5. Carrie Underwood - Some Hearts  
6. Alan Jackson - Precious Memories  
7. Eric Church - Sinners Like Me  
8. Tim McGraw - Greatest Hits Vol 2: Reflected  
9. Toby Keith - White Trash With Money  
10. The Wreckers - Stand Still, Look Pretty  

The top 10 Christian singles:  

1. MercyMe - So Long Self  
2. Third Day - Mountain Of God  
3. Aaron Shust - My Savior, My God  
4. Casting Crowns - Praise You In This Storm  
5. Kutless - Strong Tower  
6. Brian Littrell - Welcome Home  
7. Mark Harris - Find Your Wings  
8. Chris Tomlin - How Great Is Our God  
9. tree63 - All Over The World  
10.  Matthew West - Only Grace


Top 10 DVD sales:  
  
1. Failure To Launch -- Paramount Home Entertainment  
2. Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl --  
Walt Disney Home Entertainment  
3. Eight Below -- Walt Disney Home Entertainment  
4. Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion -- Lions Gate Home  
Entertainment  
5. The Matador -- The Weinstein Company  
6. Ultraviolet -- Sony Pictures Home Entertainment  
7. Annapolis -- Touchstone Home Video  
8. The Tyler Perry Collection: Madea Goes To Jail -- Lions  
Gate Home Entertainment  
9. Syriana -- Warner Home Video  
10.  High School Musical: Encore Edition -- Buena Vista Home  
Entertainment  


Top 10 DVD Rentals:  

1. Failure to Launch -- Paramount  
2. The Matador -- Genius/Weinstein1.  
3. Basic Instinct 2 -- Sony Pictures  
4. Syriana -- Warner  
5. The Hills Have Eyes -- Fox  
6. Ultraviolet -- Sony Pictures  
7. Eight Below -- BV/Disney  
8. Annapolis -- BV/Touchstone  
9. 16 Blocks -- Warner  
10. The Pink Panther -- Sony Pictures   
  

Top 10 singles:  

1. Nelly Furtado Featuring Timbaland - Promiscuous  
2. Gnarls Barkley - Crazy  
3. Cassie - Me & You  
4. The Pussycat Dolls Featuring Snoop Dogg - Buttons  
5. Yung Joc - It's Goin' Down  
6. Shakira Featuring Wyclef Jean - Hips Don't Lie  
7. Rihanna - Unfaithful  
8. Christina Aguilera - Ain't No Other Man  
9. The Fray - Over My Head (Cable Car)  
10. Lil Jon Featuring E-40 & Sean Paul Of The YoungBloodZ -  
Snap Yo Fingers   
   
  
Top 10 albums:  
  
1. Various Artists - NOW 22  
2. Los Lonely Boys - Sacred  
3. Rodney Atkins - If You're Going Through Hell  
4. Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere  
5. Soundtrack - High School Musical  
6. Rascal Flatts - Me And My Gang  
7. Nelly Furtado - Loose  
8. Rihanna - A Girl Like Me  
9. Dixie Chicks - Taking The Long Way  
10. The Pussycat Dolls - PCD 

The top 10 Mainstream Rock tracks:  
  
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California  
2. Three Days Grace - Animal I Have Become  
3. Tool - Vicarious  
4. Stone Sour - Through Glass  
5. Breaking Benjamin - The Diary Of Jane  
6. Buckcherry - Crazy B!tch  
7. Korn - Coming Undone  
8. Hinder - Lips Of An Angel  
9. Wolfmother - Woman  
10. Godsmack - Shine Down   

****JOKE TIME****


 "Some Vague Thoughts"

.....Vanity Plates seen on a Mercedes Benz in California . . .
       . . . WAS HIS

.....Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills . . .
       Making the last car payment.

.....The trouble with Sunday drivers is, they don't drive any
       better during the week.

.....If you can't keep a secret, you don't need to know it.

.....Quote from the boss: "I didn't say it was your fault.
       I said I was going to blame it on you."

.....If you want the world to beat a path to your door, just
        try to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon.

.....Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the
       things you have for which you would not take money.

.....When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum.

.....Is your holier side your altar ego?

.....I need someone to refresh my memory. How many cars are
       allowed through an intersection after the light turns red?
       Is it three or five?

.....What's dumber, expecting educators to be entertaining, or
       expecting entertainment to be educational?
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A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel. The new bride is 
concerned and asked, “What if the place is still bugged?”

The groom says “Hmm... Good point. I’ll look for a bug.”

He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug... 
“AHA!” he shouts!

Sure enough, under the rug was a small disc shaped plate, with four 
screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them 
and the plate out the window.

The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds “How was your 
room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?”

Curious, the groom says, “And why, sir, are you asking me all of these 
questions?”

The hotel manager says “Well, the room UNDER yours complained of the 
chandelier falling on them!”
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I got even with my parents. My parents came to stay with me for the 
weekend in my apartment. I made them sleep in separate bedrooms. My 
mother said, “What? Are you crazy? I’ve been sleeping with this man for 
years.” I said, “Look, I don’t care what you do on the outside. But 
when you’re in my house...”
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Following a campaign speech, a young man rushed up to Senator Everett 
Dirksen and said, “Senator, I wouldn’t vote for you if you were St. 
Peter!”

Dirksen eyed the young man for a moment, then said: “Son, if I were St. 
Peter, you couldn’t vote for me, because you wouldn’t be in my 
district.”
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Students at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil 
on fish. One 11-year old wrote, “When my mom opened a tin of sardines 
last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead.”
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After much urging by his wife, my Uncle Joe applied for work on a farm. 
The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, 
equipping him with a stool and a bucket.

          An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket 
in one hand and the broken stool in the other.

         “Extracting the milk was easy,” he explained.  “The worst part 
was getting the cow to sit on the stool!”

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Doug and Tammy were about to celebrate their 20 year anniversary but 
instead they had an awful fight and went to bed that night not saying a 
word to each other.

  The next morning, Doug felt really bad about the argument and 
apologized to Tammy, hoping to smooth things over. “Honey” he said, 
“I’m really sorry I ruined ouR anniversary.  Please forgive me.”

  Tammy said, “Okay, you’re forgiven, yet again”.
Doug asked, “You’re the best babe. You don’t regret marrying me, do 
you?”

   Tammy sighed, “Every second of my life!”
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A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. She rolled the dice and 
she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a 
vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

  She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
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  A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his 
office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.

  As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the 
door on the driver's side of the Lexus.

  The counselor immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and 
within minutes a policeman pulled up.

  Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer 
started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up 
the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, 
no matter what the body shop did to it.

  When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the 
officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how 
materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your 
possessions that you don't notice anything else."

  "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

  The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from 
the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

  "My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?!"
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A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are 
gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt 
came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you 
like, sir?"

  He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, 
then answers, "A quickie."

  The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her 
composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?"

  Again the man thoroughly looks her over and, again, answers, "A 
quickie, please."

  This time her anger takes over. She reaches over and slaps him across 
the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

  A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, Pal, I 
think it's pronounced 'quiche'."
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In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. 
One copy repairman had answered question after question for the 
employees. Finally one day, he just smiled and handed them this sheet.

  The copier is out of order!
  Yes, we have called the service man.
  Yes, he will be in today.
  No, we cannot fix it.
  No, we do not know how long it will take.
  No, we do not know what caused it.
  No, we do not know who broke it.
  Yes, we are keeping it.
  No, we do not know what you are going to do now.

  Thank You
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  How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time:

  Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, 
empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed, 
laminate, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, 
stroke, console, bark, purr, hug, baste, marinate, coddle, excite, 
pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, 
toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize, leave, 
return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, tunnel, 
show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, 
shower, shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive, grovel, ignore, 
defend, milk, coax, clothe, straddle, melt, brag, acquiesce, aromate, 
prevail, super collide, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, 
help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, reddi-whip, embrace, 
delouse, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, mosh, 
locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, hold her hair while 
she's puking in the toilet, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, 
crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, do a 
nickel in Attica for, dream of, promise, exceed, deliver, tease, flirt, 
enlist, torch, pine, wheedle, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, 
snoozle, snurfle, hezbollah, jihad, elevate, enervate, alleviate, 
spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take 
her to Funkytown, scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her 
existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue 
persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, 
slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, 
slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate, 
gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, 
blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, 
enchant, idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.

How to Satisfy a Man Every Time

  Show up..... naked.
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An old man goes to a diner every day for lunch. He always orders the 
soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal. The 
old man replies, in a thick acccent, "Wass goot, but you could give a 
little more bread."

  So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him four slices 
of bread. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks. "Wass goot, but 
you could give a little more bread," comes the reply.

  So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him eight 
slices of bread. "How was your meal today, sir?" the manager asks. 
"Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread," comes the reply.

  So ... the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him a whole 
loaf of bread with his soup. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager 
asks, when he comes to pay. "Wass goot, but you could give just a 
little more bread," comes the reply once again.

  The manager is now obsessed with seeing this customer say that he is 
satisfied with his meal, so he goes to the bakery, and orders a 
six-foot-long loaf of bread. When the man comes in as usual the next 
day, the waitress and the manager cut the loaf in half, butter the 
entire length of each half, and lay it out along the counter, right 
next to his bowl of soup. The old man sits down, and devours both his 
bowl of soup, and both halves of the six-foot-long loaf of bread.

  The manager now thinks he will get the answer he is looking for, and 
when the old man comes up to pay for his meal, the manager asks in the 
usual way: "How was your meal TODAY, sir?"

  The old man replies: "It wass goot as usual, but I see you are back to 
giving only two slices of bread."
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Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun 
all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at 
the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, 
"Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"

  "Why do you want me to throw them at you?"

  "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."

  "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy."

  "But why?"

  "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, 
I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper 
tonight."
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A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, 
and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying 
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

  Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

  "Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"
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Three Pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner.

  One said, "Since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in 
my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, 
cats--nothing seems to scare them away."

  Another said, "Me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in 
the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go 
away."

  The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the 
church. Haven't seen one back since."
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Fred - The Ole Fritzbear

An Internal Revenue man is writing a book called, "How We Made $1,800,000 off the Fellow Who Wrote a Book About Making $2,000,000 in the Stock Market."
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A young doctor who had instructed a class of women in first aid for several weeks resolved to put his teaching to a practical test. As he stood on the platform he suddenly paused, staggered and then fell to the floor. A wave of horror ran through the class. Some women gave faint screams, some rose and sank back into their seats again; but nobody came to the rescue of the prostate doctor.

After a few minutes he got to his feet and soundly berated his students for their lack of initiative. "What use is my teaching," he demanded, "if you can't tackle a simple fainting spell?"

His star pupil rose from her front seat with an injured air. "But, doctor," she exclaimed, "we thought it was a REAL faint!"
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Alex walked into his dad's study while his dad was working on the computer.

"Dad," said Alex, "Remember when you told me you'd give me twenty- five dollars if I passed my science test?"

Dad nodded.

"Well, the good news is that I just saved you twenty-five bucks."
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On Halloween, I've been known to hand out games, pens, pads of paper or gift certificates instead of candy. Last year, noticing a runny nose on one of my trick-or-treaters, I offered a tissue to the child. Just as she was reaching for it and thanking me, another group appeared on the scene. One of the newcomers exclaimed, "Oh, no, she's giving out Kleenex this year!"
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A town in Germany was having trouble recruiting volunteers for its fire department. However, whenever there was a fire, dozens of citizens came out to watch. The mayor ordered police to make a list of all male spectators at each fire. Each man whose name appeared three times on the list were automatically drafted as a volunteer fireman.
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John D. Rockefeller, Jr., one day left Williamsburg for New York and suddenly remembered he had overlooked something. He called Williamsburg collect from a payphone, but his dime was not released.

The telephone operator told him that if he would give her is name and address the dime would be sent to him. Rockefeller said, "My name is John D... Oh forget it, you wouldn't believe me anyway!"
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A man charged with theft showed up in court without an attorney.

"Do you want me to assign you an attorney?" asked the presiding judge.

"No, sir," said the defendant.

"But you are entitled to an attorney and you might as well have the benefit of his services," said the jurist.

"If it's all the same with you," said the defendant, "I'd like to throw myself upon the ignorance of the court."
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There is a story that Mussolini was once stranded in a small town in Italy when his car broke down. To pass the time, he visited a local movie house. Came the newsreel, and, of course, his own face flashed up on the screen.

Everyone in the movie house stood up, but Mussolini, feeling tired and feeling no compulsion to stand in his own honor, remained seated. Whereupon the man next to him whispered, "I feel exactly as you do, but take my advice and stand up. It's safer."
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A deputation of women came to Winston Churchill in order to protest his overconsumption of spiritous liquors. They said, "Mr. Churchill, if all the spirits you have drunk in your life were poured into this room, they would fill it up to here."

Churchill regarded the imaginary line they had traced on the wall, and his eyes then went up to the ceiling, and he sighed, "So much to do; so little done."

One of the men moving 35,000 books into a new library grumbled to another: "They build a new library, you'd think they'd buy new books for it."
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The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. - Robert Frost
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"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." (Will Rogers)
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Adolescence is the time of life when young people want to be treated like adults but act like infants when they think they're not.
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A hillbilly goes to a movie for the first time. He watches a love scene in which the hero kisses the girl on the forehead, then on the eyes, the cheeks, the nose, and then to the neck and the shoulders. The hillbilly says to the man next to him, "That feller sure don't know where to kiss a girl, does he?"
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Try explaining to the kids why a government that just spent sixty million on nuclear bombs is trying to outlaw firecrackers.
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Things are getting better. I only need one more raise so my take- home can equal the deductions.
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The easier she is on the eye, the harder she is on the pocketbook! -amen
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If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.

Sunburn seems to heal in just a few days, but the blood vessels under the skin do not return to their normal condition for up to fifteen months.