|
"Friends
are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended
for younger readers - PG
Welcome New
Subscribers
Anyone without a sense
of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help
Them
Remember,it is easier to get
older
than it is to get wiser
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 16,2006
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
Why am I the
only person on earth that knows how to drive? Oh well, It could be worse. I
could be a blonde
One October my wife and
I spent a vacation on Washington's
Olympic Peninsula. We were
eager to visit the rain forests
near the coast, but we heard
that snow slides had made
some of the roads impassable. Although
apprehensive about
the conditions we might run into, we drove
on.
Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High
Rain
Forest road when we saw a sign: "Ice 10 miles." Five
miles
farther on there was another: "Ice 5 miles." The next
one
was: "Ice 1/2 mile." We practically crept that
half-mile.
We came to the last sign. It was outside a small
grocery,
and it read: "Ice 75
cents."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Common
Sailing Terms...
Amidships - condition of being surrounded
by boats.
Anchor - a device designed to bring up mud samples
from the
bottom at inopportune or unexpected times.
Anchor Light - a small light used to discharge the battery
before daylight.
Beam Sea - A situation in which waves
strike a boat from
the side, causing it to roll unpleasantly.
This is one of
the four directions from which wave action tends
to produce
extreme physical discomfort. The other three are 'bow
sea'
(waves striking from the front), 'following sea'
(waves
striking from the rear), and 'quarter sea' (waves
striking
from any other direction).
Berth -
a little addition to the crew.
Boat ownership - Standing
fully-clothed under a cold shower,
tearing up 100-dollar
bills
Boom - sometimes the result of a surprise jibe. Called
boom
for the sound that's made when it hits crew in the head
on
its way across the boat.
Calm - Sea
condition characterized by the simultaneous dis-
appearance of
the wind and the last cold beverage.
Chart - a type of map
which tells you exactly where you are
aground.
Clew - an indication from the skipper as to what he might
do next.
Course - The direction in which a skipper
wishes to steer
his boat and from which the wind is blowing.
Also, the
language that results by not being able
to.
Crew - Heavy, stationary objects used on shipboard to
hold
down charts, anchor cushions in place and dampen
sudden
movements of the boom.
Dead Reckoning - a course leading directly to a reef.
Dinghy - the sound of the ship's bell.
Displacement
- when you dock your boat and can't find it
later.
Estimated Position - a place you have marked on the chart
where you are sure you are not.
Flashlight - Tubular
metal container used on shipboard for
storing dead batteries
prior to their disposal.
Gybe - A common way to
get unruly guests off your boat.
Headway - what you are
making if you can't get the toilet
to work.
Jack Lines - "Hey baby, want to go sailing?"
Landlubber - anyone on board who wishes he were not.
Latitude - the number of degrees off course allowed a guest.
Mast - religious ritual used before setting sail.
Mizzen - an object you can't find.
Motor Sailer - A
sailboat that alternates between sail/
rigging problems and
engine problems, and with some booze
in the cabin.
Ram - an intricate docking maneuver sometimes used by ex-
perienced skippers.
Sailing - The fine art of getting
wet and becoming ill,
while going nowhere slowly at great
expense.
Shroud - equipment used in connection with a
wake.
Starboard - special board used by skippers for
navigation
(usually with "Port" on the opposite
side.)
Tack - A maneuver the skipper uses when telling the
crew
what they did wrong without getting them mad.
Yawl - A sailboat from Texas, with some good bourbon stored
down yonder in the cabin
Zephyr - Warm, pleasant breeze.
Named after the mythical
Greek god of wishful thinking, false
hopes, and unreliable
forecasts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little
Johnny's mother asked him what he would like for his
birthday. "I'd like a little brother," he replied.
"Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. "Why do
you want a little brother?"
"Well," replied little
Johnny, "there's only so much I can
blame on the
dog."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
young fellow just starting into cattle ranching called the old cowboy
one
rainy evening and said he had a cow with problems having a calf.
The old
cowboy got his rope, and drove thru the rain to his
neighbor's house. The cow
was standing out in the rain with her calf
next to her. The
old cowboy
thought she should be examined anyway. "Has she ever had a
rope on
her"?
"Oh, yeah, yeah! Last year!
The old cowboy twirled his rope over his
head and made a perfect
cast. As soon as the rope went over the cow's head,
she bolted.
In a dead run, she pulled the old cowboy around the corral on
his
stomach, full length in the mud, three times around the corral. The
old
cowboy finally got her stopped, and looking at the young man in a
rage
said," I thought you said she'd had a rope on her before!"
"I had a
rope on her last year, and she did the same thing
then!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
man in a
three-piece suit.
"This young CPA agreed to marry my daughter," said
one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so
they haggled before the King, until he demanded silence.
"My sword! Bring
me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and we shall cut
the young man in half.
Each of you shall receive a half."
"Fine. Sounds good to me," said the
first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent
blood. Let
this other woman's daughter marry him."
The wise king did
not hesitate a moment.
"Indeed, the accountant must marry the first
lady's daughter," he
proclaimed.
"But she was willing to hack him in
two!" exclaimed the king's court.
"Precisely!" said wise King Solomon. .
.
"That shows she is the TRUE
mother-in-law."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While
looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction
was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him up every
morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When
my brother
explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for some
time), she shook
her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that
stuff.". . . . . . . She
votes!
I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One
day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center
was
open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7
days
a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to
end
the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific." . . . . . . He also
votes!
So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when
we
overheard one of the admin. assistants talking about the sunburn she
got
on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible,
but
"didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving." . . . .
.
. She also votes!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's
designed to cut through
a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the
trunk. . . . . . .
My sister also votes!
My friends and I were on a
beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big
party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a
20% discount. . . . . He also
votes!
I was hanging out with a friend
when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My
friend said, "Wouldn't the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?" I
explained that a person's
nose and ear remain the same distance apart no
matter which way the head
is turned. ........My friend also votes!
My
girlfriend and I were picking up some sandwiches from the sub place
last week
and she asked the clerk which of two sandwiches was better.
The clerk didn't
have an opinion but did say that the first sandwich was
more expensive. My
girlfriend got a quizzical look on her face and
asked, "If that's the case,
why are they both listed with the same price
on the menu?" To this, the clerk
responded, "I don't think we add tax to
the turkey." . . . The clerk also
votes!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went
to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
trained
professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has
your
plane arrived yet?". . . . . . She also votes!
WELL....HERE'S YOUR
SIGN
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The pope
calls a meeting of all the cardinals. When they have all
assembled at the
Vatican, he takes them into the meeting hall and
states,
"I have some
really fantastic news for all of you, and some very
terrible news."
Of
course, all the cardinals want to hear the 'fantastic' news first, so
the
Pope tells them,
"Jesus Christ has returned to the world. The time of
judgement is at
hand, and our faith in His existence is
justified."
After the commotion and excitement dies down a bit, one of
the cardinals
speaks up, asking what the terrible news is.
The Pope
replies. . . .
"He was calling from Salt Lake
City."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BLONDIES
Table
of Equivalents
1. Ratio of an igloo's
circumference to its diameter = Eskimo
Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup =
Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a
mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time
between slipping on a peel and smacking the
pavement=
1
bananosecond
5. Weight an
evangelist carries with God = 1
billigram
6. Time it takes to sail
220 yards at 1 nautical mile
perhour
=
Knotfurlong
7. 365.25 days of
drinking low calorie beer = 1 Lite
year
8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight
Zone = 1 Rod Serling
9. Half a
large intestine = 1 semicolon
10.
1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
11.
Basic unit of laryngitis - 1
hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance
between two jokes - a straight
line
13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1
pound cake
14. 1 million
microphones = 1 megaphone
15. 1
million bicycles = 1 megacycles
16.
365.25 days = 1 unicycle
17. 2000
mockingbirds = two
kilomockingbirds
18. 10 cards = 1
decacard
19. 52 cards = 1
deckacard
20. 1 kilogram of falling
figs = 1 fig Newton
21. 1000 grams
of wet socks = 1 literhosen
22. 1
millionth of a fish = 1
microfiche
23. 1 trillion pins = 1
terrapin
24. 10 rations = 1
decaration
25. 100 rations = 1
C-ration
26. 2 monograms = 1
diagram
27. 8 nickels = 2
paradigms
28. 2.4 statute miles of
intravenous surgical tubing at Yale
University Hospital = 1 I.V.
League
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Columbus
was the world's most impressive salesman. He started out not knowing where he
was going. When he got there, he didn't know where it was, so when he got back,
he couldn't say where he had been. And he did it all on a big cash advance, and
got a repeat
order.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson. She gave the little girl a
quarter and a dollar for church. "Put whichever one you want in the collection
plate and keep the other for yourself," she told the girl. When they were coming
out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which amount she had
given.
"Well," said the little girl, "I was going to give the dollar, but
just before the collection the man in the pulpit said that we should all be
cheerful givers. I knew I'd be a lot more cheerful if I gave the quarter, so I
did."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Any more
questions?
My cousin worked on the Alaska pipeline as a welder. He said
helicopters were a big help in covering the rugged ground.
I've never
forgotten a story he told about being in the communications room of one of the
base camps when a call came in. A panicked voice called to request another
helicopter be sent up to the forward work camp.
A supervisor happened to
drop in and heard the conversation between the dispatcher and the mechanic. He
got on the radio to ask the mechanic on the other end why they need another
helicopter.
The obviously harried mechanic paused before transmitting his
reply, then said vaguely, "Well, the one we have won't fly."
The
frustrated supervisor pressed the question, "Why won't it fly."
After a
long pause came another reluctant response, "Well, I say it won't fly because
it's upside down. The pilot says it won't fly because it's under twenty feet of
water."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How
about stupid questions?
A teacher was narrating: I come
from a family of teachers, and so "there is no such thing as a stupid question"
was part of my cultural heritage. I used to believe it, too, until once when I
got an email message from a stranger. This is the complete
message:
"Help! I can send an email, but I can't receive it! What do I
do??"
I have decided that there is, in fact, at least one stupid
question
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One
morning, a three-year-old boy asked his mother, "Mommy, how can I make this new
toy helicopter fly?" "You will have to use your imagination," she replied. "Do
you know what the word 'imagination' means?" "Yes Mommy," he answered
immediately. "It means no
batteries."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cooking
101
A woman came into my pharmacy with a shopping list. As she asked for
items such as hair spray and toothpaste, I inquired what size of each she
wanted. Everything was going well until she requested a bottle of
Pepto-Bismol.
I was surprised when, in response to my usual question,
"What size?" she said, "What size would you suggest? I'm only having four for
dinner."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No
Respect
A woman was out to a fancy restaurant with her husband one night. The
waiter came over to their table, and asked what she wanted.
"I'll have
the roast beef... and be sure to bring me some catsup."
"Very good,
ma'am... and what would you like with it?" replied the waiter.
"I'll take
a baked potato -- not too large -- and be sure to bring me some sour cream to
eat on it."
"Yes'm," he replied. "What about the vegetable?"
"Oh,
bring him the seafood dinner... shrimp, scallops, clams, he will eat all seafood
except for oysters!!"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's
ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca
**** HEALTH NEWS ****
Nurses can help patients quit smoking
CHAPEL HILL, N.C., -- Several U.S. studies find that a few
well-chosen words from a nurse can play a part in convincing
smokers to quit. The research was published in a special sum-
mer issue of the journal Nursing Research. "These reports are
evidence that nurses are widely recognized as central to
global efforts to reduce the detrimental health effects of
tobacco use," said Dr. Molly C. Dougherty, nursing research
editor and professor of nursing at the University of North
Carolina at Chapel Hill. One study found that patients given
information by nurses on how and why to quit smoking were 50
percent more likely to stop. Another found that nurses can
be especially effective because they are the health-care
professionals usually seen by the medically underserved.
About 45 million people still smoke in the United States,
and researchers say cigarettes are the biggest single cause
of preventable death.
Shellfish toxin blooming in Puget Sound
SEATTLE, -- Warmer water temperatures are raising the levels
of a serious shellfish toxin along the U.S. Pacific Northwest
coastline. Health officials in Washington state said they
were seeing a spreading bloom of PSP (paralytic shellfish
poison) that is making it dangerous to consume clams, oysters
and other shelled creatures found in the Seattle and greater
Puget Sound area, the Seattle Times said. Amateur clam-diggers
were warned Friday to avoid shellfish for a while; however
officials told the Times the commercial shellfish catch is
tested and should be safe. The toxin strikes the human ner-
vous system and cannot be removed by cooking. PSP is found in
algae eaten by the shellfish. Levels of PSP well over 3,000
micrograms were recently seen in the sound. The Times said
shellfish grounds are generally closed when levels above 80
micrograms per gram of shellfish tissue are
found.
BOSTON, -- Tufts
University researchers say long-term in-
take of vitamins B, E
and C may inhibit cataract develop-
ment. Age-related cataract
is the world's leading cause
of blindness but surgical
correction is currently the only
known option for intervention.
The researchers at the Jean
Mayer USDA Human Nutrition Research
Center on Aging at
Tufts University sought to determine if
prevention is pos-
sible. In one study, lead scientist Paul
Jacques, director
of the center's Nutritional Epidemiology
Program, and his
colleagues analyzed the diets and examined the
eyes of a
group of Boston-area women during a five-year
period.
Those reporting supplementing their diets with vitamin
E
for 10 years or more had significantly less progression
of
cataract development. Similar findings were seen
among
those reporting higher intakes of two B vitamins,
ribo-
flavin and thiamin. "Our results," said Jacques,
"suggest
vitamin supplementation, particularly long-term use
of
vitamin E, may slow cataract development." An earlier
study
indicated similar results for vitamin C. The study's
com-
plete findings appear in the American Journal of
Clinical
Nutrition.
**** Reader's Submissions ****
New
Preamble to the Constitution: This is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a
long, long time. The following has been attributed to State Representative
Mitchell Aye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...
"We the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid
more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and
establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden,
delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self
evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are
so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."
ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car,
big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally
acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.
ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be
offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone
-- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different
opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.
ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free
from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do
not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives
independently wealthy.
ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food
and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will
gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing
generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing
more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.
(This one is my pet peeve..get an education and go to work....don't expect
everyone else to take care of you!)
ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health
care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not
interested in public health care.
ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically
harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone,
don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.
ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the
possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services
of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock
you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color
TV or a life of leisure.
ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job.
All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard
times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.
(AMEN!)
ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness.
Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by
the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic
laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We
don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to
wherever you came from! (lastly....)
ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our
country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in God.
And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no
faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of
our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!!!!
If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you
don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't . I just think
it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the
United States speak out because if you do not, who will?
FRED
Happy 25th Birthday,
PC
Adorable, isn't it? This bulky, cream-colored 1550 was the
start of a new era for IBM when it was first launched 25 years
ago on Saturday, August 12, 1981.
The machine had a price tag of $1,565
and boasted 16K of memory, the size of a couple of terse modern emails or about
1% of a floppy disk.
Personal computers had already been making their
way into people's homes even before the 1550, thanks to Apple
Computer. The Apple II was a
hit with home users when it was released in 1977. But IBM was the company that was to set the standard for
future models of the PC.
For most of the 1970s, IBM's computers cost up
to $9 million, and each one required an air-conditioned quarter-acre of space as
well as 60 people to run and keep it loaded with instructions.
It wasn't
until 1980 that a dozen of IBM egg-heads led by Don Estridge were given a brief
to build a PC prototype. They looked to other companies for ideas and material,
including a humble start-up known as Microsoft, which was asked to devise an operating system.
"The development team broke all the rules," says IBM on its website.
"They went to outside vendors for most of the parts went to outside software
developers for the operating system and application software… Those tactics
enabled them to develop and announce the IBM PC in 12 months--at that time
faster than any other hardware product in IBM's history."
Today while
the market for personal computers in the West has reached near saturation point,
developing countries like China and Latin America have seen demand for PC's grow
at double- digit rates.
And it's all thanks in part to this 28-pound
granddaddy of PCs. It came with 83 keys, enough space to save the entire text of
a large cookbook, and such memorable software applications as DOS, VisiCalc, and
EasyWriter.
By modern standards, the ability to simply process text and
numbers seems almost negligible, compared with today's 6MB, broadband, video
editing, and dazzlingly 3D game-playing models.
But who knows. A quarter
of a century from now, and our contemporaries might endearingly look back at the
sleek, modish-looking computers of the present day and call them "adorable."
NORM
**** ON THIS DAY
****
**** HEADS UP FOLKS
****
These Are My Causes
Please Help
This is a link for
FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent. I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a
mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a
thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits
to donate mammogram
in exchange for
advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to
click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated
every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to
go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This
doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the
number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in
exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link
for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U
Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject
Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****
|
Tracy penalized again |
|
Champ Car levies $25,000 fine, three-point deduction for
clash. |
|
|
|
|
|
The Foyt Files |
|
Team continues to learn in 13th place showing at
Kentucky. |
|
|
|
|
|
No slowing Bernstein |
|
Top Fuel ace downs Schumacher for third NHRA win of
season. |
|
|
Subscribe Today: Home Delivery of USA TODAY -
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**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****
1925 Rose Maddox born in Boaz, Ala.
1933 Bobby Helms born in Bloomington, Ind.
1933 Mike Seeger of the New Lost City Ramblers born
in
New York City
1941 Don Rich, lead
guitarist in Buck Owens' Buckaroos,
born Don Ulrich in Olympia,
Wash.
1952 Hank Williams' "Jambalaya"
charted
1979 Old-time singer Asa Martin
died
1984 Record producer Norman Petty
died
1990 Former Statler Brothers guitarist-vocalist
Lew
Dewitt died
1968 Hank
Williams Jr.'s movie A Time to Sing debuted
in
Nashville
1975 David Rogers opened Country
Green Club in Atlanta,
Ga.
1928
Jimmie Rodgers recorded "No Hard Times" and "Peach
Pickin' Time
Down in Georgia"
1951 Grandpa Jones recorded "You Done Me
Mean And
Hateful" and "Fifteen Cents Is All I
Got"
**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
Steve Earle Signs With New West
Records
Steve Earle has signed to New West Records
and plans to
record his debut album for the label this fall. Set
to be
released in 2007, the project marks his first album
of
all-new material since his Grammy-winning The
Revolution
Starts ... was released in 2004. Earle has been
involved
in several other projects, including serving as
producer
for wife Allison Moorer's latest album, Getting
Somewhere.
New West will also be sponsoring Earle's radio show
that
airs on the Air America network.
**** Amy's Kitchen
****
ITALIAN
ZUCCHINI
6 Small Zucchini
1 Tsp Salt
2 Tbs. Italian Dressing
1 Tsp
Italian Seasoning
1/4 Cup Grated Parmesan Cheese
Paprika - to top
DIRECTIONS:
Cut
zucchini in halves crosswise, then lengthwise into
fourths.
Place zucchini in 1 1/2 qt. casserole dish and
sprinkle with
salt, then salad dressing, then Italian
seasonings. Cover
tightly and microwave on high for 3
minutes. Stir. Cover and
microwave until tender, about
2-3 minutes longer. Sprinkle with
Parmesan and paprika.
Yield: 4 Servings
RIPENING TIPS:
Many fruits and
vegetables found in supermarkets today look
ripe, but are hard
as a rock. Soften them up by placing them
in a brown paper bag
and hiding the bag away in a dark cabinet
for a day or two. This
is great for items such as avacados,
kiwi fruit, peaches,
nectarines, and more. Once ripe,
refrigerate the produce to
preserve vitamins.
Never refrigerate a tomato that is not
fully ripe. Most
tomatoes sold in stores are still ripening, and
would benefit
from a few days on the counter. Cold temperatures
alter the
fruit's flavor and stop the ripening process. Once
ripe, a
tomato can be refrigerated for several days. To ripen a
tomato
fast, put it with an apple in a perforated
bag.
**** TODAY'S USELESS
FACT ****
When were credit
cards invented and first used?
While we suspected that credit
cards were first invented in the mid-1980s to exploit the growing number of
late-night infomercials and our own unquenchable thirst for instant
gratification, it turns out that the practice of splashing plastic was pioneered
a good deal earlier.
Credit cards as we know them, good at multiple
businesses, were first thrown down in 1951. That's when 200 brave, pre-approved
souls were able to present their Diners Club cards at 27 different New York City
restaurants and leave with the same amount of cash they walked in
with.
According to credit card lore, in 1949, Frank McNamara went to
dinner at Major's Cabin Grill and forgot his wallet. After talking his way out
of doing the dishes to cover his tab, McNamara thought, "Never again!" In
February of 1950, he and a partner founded Diners Club and returned to Major's
with a small cardboard card. Frank signed for dinner, without a hassle, and the
event was eventually dubbed "the First Supper." Credit cards added the now
ubiquitous magnetic stripe in the 1970s and that the rise of plastic ended the
production of all banknotes larger than $100.
****A
PARTING THOUGHT ****
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
LAST CALL Y'ALL
A man was on a
walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty
so decided to ask at
a stranger's home for something to drink.
The lady of the house invited
him in and served him a bowl of soup by
the fire.
There was a wee pig
running around the kitchen - running up to the
visitor and giving him a great
deal of attention.
The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig
this friendly.
The housewife
replied:
"Ummm, he's not *really* that friendly.
That's his bowl you're
using"
HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA
HEAR!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out
there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
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