From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.

Welcome to The Funnies

Welcome New Subscribers
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

THURSDAY AUGUST 24,2006


THOUGHT FOR TODAY:Sometimes the poorest man
leaves his children the richest inheritance.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a
bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm
83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're
about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for
a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the
doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really
pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit
around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair
well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling
slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image,
walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties).
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink,
takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man came into a shop with a 'Salesman Wanted' sign in a window. 
He went up to the owner and said, "I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b."
"I don't know if this job would suit you because of your speaking
 impediment," said the owner.
"I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really
neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!" said the man.
"O.K.  Here are three Bibles.  Go out and sell them." said the owner.So
the man went out and came back an hour later.
"H-here-sss your m-m-money." said the man.  The owner was impressed, so
he gave the man a dozen more Bibles and sent him out.  The man came back
in two hours and said, "Her-ers y-yooour m-m-money."
The owner said, "This is fantastic.  You sold more Bibles in three
hours than anyone has sold in a week.  Tell me, what do you say to the
people when they come to the door?"
"W-welllll," said the man, "I r-r-ring the d-door bell, a-a-and s-s-say
'H-Hel-Hello, M-m-maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w- want t-t t-to buy
thi-thi-this B-B-Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-want m'me t-toooo read it t-t-t-t-to you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he
done run outa night crawlers.
He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a
big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass fish
like frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie.
Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he
had to be real careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up
behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole
snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped
hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself
free. But Boudreaux, him, had a real good grip on his haid, yeh.
Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog
and puts it in his baitcan. Now, Boudreaux knows dat
he cain't let go dat snake or his gonna bite him
good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket
of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker.
He pour some drops into de snakes mouf. Well, dat
snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go
limp. Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou.
Den he goes back to fishin'. A while later Boudreaux
dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe. He
slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was ..
with two more frogs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three guys, a Nebraskan, a Texan and an Okie are out
walking together one day.  They come across a lantern
and a Genie pops out of it.  "I will give you each one
wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.
The Nebraskan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a
farmer, and my son will also farm.  I want the land to
be forever fertile in Nebraska."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'FOOM'  the land in
Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.
The Texan was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall
around Texas, so that no foreigners can come into our
precious state."   Again, with a blink of the Genie's
eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Texas.
The Okie asks, "I'm very curious.  Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high,
50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state.
Nothing can get in or out."
The Okie says, "OK, then fill it up with water."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When you were a little kid remember how hard it was to get  
a cookie? Way in the back, unless your mom was really mean-  
then they'd be on top of the refrigerator. Nowhere on a  
package of Oreos does it say, 'Keep out of reach of small  
children.' Where's the Liquid Drano? Under the sink, right  
next to the rest of the poisons." --Mike Bullard  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"How do people meet their neighbors out in L.A.? I'm from  
the south where we had block parties and cook-outs. In L.A.  
the only time my wife and I had a chance to socialize was  
at a crime scene. It's so bad, now it's like, 'Honey! Did  
you hear that? Sounded like gunfire! Hurry up...put your  
nice clothes on. There are folks to meet!'" --Bob Oshack  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CUSTOMER'S GUIDE TO SUPERMARKET SHOPPING  

1. When in the express lane, make sure that all items are  
rung up and bagged before you start looking for your check-  
book. Then, after you make a futile search for your pen,  
borrow one from the clerk and make sure your checkbook is  
balanced before giving up the check.  

2. Never get into the 10-Items-or-Less line with less than  
12 items. IT'S THE LAW!!!  

3. When in the 10-Items-or-Less line and you have your 12 to  
20 items, always ask the clerk if it's okay. That way, if he  
says "yes," then the people behind you will get mad at HIM,  
not you. If he says "no," then YOU can get mad at him.  
Either way, you win!  

4. Save all your pennies and dump them in the bottom of your  
purse so that when you are in the express lane you won't be  
embarrassed by spending all that time looking for one and  
not finding any.  

5. When asked if you want paper or plastic, take all the  
time you need to make the right decision. Don't be rushed.  
Get it right. If you're not sure just say, "BAG." That way  
they will have to ask you again, giving you more time to  
decide. You may want to practice this at home in case you  
are ever asked this question at a grocery store.  

6. Always, and I repeat, ALWAYS tell the checker your reason  
for choosing paper or plastic. Checkers by nature are very  
curious and if you should fail to give them your reason for  
choosing paper over plastic, the clerk is liable to lie  
awake at night wondering why you didn't choose plastic.  

7. Always keep this in mind: If something is heavy and you  
don't want to lift it out of the basket and put it on the  
belt. Don't fret whether the checker will automatically know  
the price. After all, everyone knows how smart those clerks  
are.  

8. Since everyone knows how ignorant those clerks are, you  
must always remember to tell them to not put the eggs and  
bread in the bottom of the bag.  

9. Feel free to ask your clerk anything you may want to know.  
All checkers are experts on how to prepare whatever meal you  
should decide to make that night. They can give you precise  
directions to anywhere in the state you might want to go.  
They can tell you the best restaurant around, the kind of  
wine you will like best or anything else you may need to  
know about life.  

10. Don't forget rule NO. 8  

11. After waiting in the checkout line for several minutes  
and it's finally your turn at the counter, be sure to tell  
the clerk that more help is needed. He will certainly ensure  
that there is plenty of help next time.  
  
12. When the clerk greets you and asks how you're doing,  
don't feel pressured into answering him. After all the clerk  
has to be polite-- but you don't have to.  

13. When the store is not busy and there is only one check-  
stand with a light on, be sure to ask the nearest clerk which  
check stand is open. You don't want to take a chance being  
tricked into the wrong one.  

14. If the clerk asks you if you know the price of an item  
and you don't, tell him it's "2-something" or "3-something."  
The clerks love that because they don't get to use their  
SOMETHING keys very often.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into
the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom, pulled Jim out and brought him to his room.

When the hospital director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered that Edna be discharged from the hospital because she now considered Edna to be mentally stable. She went to Edna and said, "I have some good news and some bad news.

The good news is that you're being discharged because you responded so rationally to a crisis. By jumping in the pool to save the life of another patient, you displayed sound mindedness.

The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry.

How soon can I go home?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During the banquet celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary,  
Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the  
benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom,  
just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful  
years with your wife?" an anonymous voice yelled from the  
back of the room.  

Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best  
teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-  
restraint, meekness, forgiveness -- and a great many other  
qualities you wouldn't need if you stayed single."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement
that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly
realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.
Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth!"
The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket
and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.
The speaker tried them. "Thanks, but they're too loose," he said.
The man then said, "I have another pair...try these."
The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."
The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair... try them."
The speaker said, "They fit perfectly!" With that he ate his meal and gave his address.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank
the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my
aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."
The man replied, "Oh I'm not a dentist. I work at the morgue.."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Nice threads, man," commented Donald when his buddy   showed up one day in a snappy new suit.
"Where'd you  pick 'em up?"
Richard beamed. "My old lady got them for me. Pretty   sharp, huh?"
"I'll say. What was the occasion?"
"Got me," admitted Richard with a cheerful shrug. "I  came home from work early the other day and there
they  were, hanging over the chair in the bedroom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, its Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly
father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So one night he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath
away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up
to her, "but in just a month or two my father will die and I'll inherit
200 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three weeks
later, she became his stepmother.
Women are  so much smarter than men...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband: Wouldn't it be fun to go the Holy
Land and stand on Mount Sinai and shout out the
Ten Commandments?
Wife: It would be better if you stayed home and kept them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman turned to her husband and said, "Next
week is our 30th wedding anniversary. What do you
think we ought to do?"
Her husband thought carefully before giving his
answer. "Have a moment of silence?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How Do You Know The Car You Just Bought Is A Lemon:

1. As you leave the used car lot, you see the
owner rush out with a gigantic smile and
high-five the salesman.

2. You notice that the car phone they threw in
"for free" has a direct line to Joe's towing.

3. You get a free set of booster cables with every car purchase.

4. The hood has a special push-button device for quick and easy opening.

5. The "Purchased From" sticker at the bottom of
the rear license plate has been removed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The young teacher of the earth science class was lecturing
on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude,
degrees and minutes the teacher asked Morris, "Suppose I asked
you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude
and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"
After a confused silence, Morris offered this as his answer....
"I guess you'd be eating alone."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyone who has ever had a loved one in the hospital will enjoy this:
A woman called a local hospital . . "Hello.  Could you connect me to
the person who gives information about patients.  I'd like to find out
if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse."
The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and room number?"
"Sarah Finkel, room 302."
"I'll connect you with the nursing station . . "
"3-A Nursing Station.  How can I help You?"
"I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."
"Just a moment.  Let me look at her records.
Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine,
she is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement,
Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon."
The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic . . . that's wonderful news!"
The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!"
"Neither! I AM Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me ANYTHING."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The church was considering the purchase of a new chandelier. A parishioner who was unable
to attend the business meeting where it was initially discussed, wrote a note to the head deacon
to express her opinion. The note said simply:"I am definitely opposed to buying a new chandliery
for the church, for three reasons:
(1) I can't spell it.
(2) If we got one, who's going to play it?
(3) If we've got that kind of money in the treasury, why don't we buy a new light fixture to brighten up the church sanctuary?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings
the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus.
The driver sets off; the woman falls from the bus and is killed.
At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder, and seeing as it's
Texas,he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in
the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well," says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"
"Yes," answers the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.
When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch, sending
hundreds of volts
through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive.
The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go?" the man asks.
"I suppose so," says the executioner, "That's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling tickets.
Yet again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are
still getting on.
A man falls under the wheels and is killed.
The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.
The executioner is determined to do it right this time, so rigs the chair up to the
electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the chair.
"What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man.
The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana.
The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the
switch. Millions of
volts course through the chair, blacking out Texas. When the smoke  clears,
the man is still sat there smiling in the chair.
The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
The bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the
bell whilst passengers
are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to
the electric chair again.
The executioner rigs up all the world's electricity to the chair,
determined to get
his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling. "What's
your final wish?"asks the executioner.
"Well," says the man, "can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?"
The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin
included.
The executioner pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion volts
go through the chair.
When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a
burn mark.
"I give up," says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can
still be alive after all that?"
He strokes his chin. "Its something to do with that green banana
isn't it?" he asks.
"Nah," says the bloke, "I'm just a bad conductor."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were four  country churches in  a small TEXAS town:
The  Presbyterian Church , the Baptist Church  ,  the Methodist  Church  and the  Catholic Church .
Each church was  overrun with pesky squirrels .                            
One  day, the  Presbyterian Church called a meeting to  decide what to do about the s quirrels. After much prayer and consideration  they Determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they  shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the BAPTIST  CHURCH the  squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and  decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The  squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next  week. 
The  Catholic group got together and  decided that they were not in a position to h arm any of God's creation. So,  they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of  town. Three days later, the squirrels were back
But  -- the  METHODIST CHURCH came up with the  best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered  them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter  .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My mother-in-law is not known for her driving skills. So it came as no
surprise when she was in another accident a couple of months back.
She came out of a side street and ran slam-bang into the town doctor's   car.
"Oh Doc!" she exclaimed, "I'm so awfully sorry!"
"That's perfectly all right," he said, "It was all my fault."
"I don't know how you can say that. I'm sure it was entirely my fault."
"No, no, ma'am it was my fault. I'll take the entire blame."
"But why is it your fault? I ran into you, didn't I?"
"Yes, you did. But I saw you driving downtown half an hour ago, and I had
plenty of time to take my car home and put it in the garage, but like a damn
fool, I didn't do it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back in the 1930s and 1940s, Sid Luckman was the famed quarterback of the Chicago Bears. His father, an immigrant tailor, did not get many chances to see his son play. Luckman made sure his father were there for one important game against the New York Giants. The game was going well. Then, in one play, Luckman got the ball just as his teammates were falling by the wayside. Luckman was left alone to fight off the opposing teams' huge linemen. As he dodged huge bodies hurtling towards him, he heard his father's anxious voice above the crowd yelling, "Sidney, let them have the ball. I'll buy you another one!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Laura was pulled over for speeding, she told her four-year- old daughter Olivia, "That was not a good thing that Mommy did. I was going too fast, and that's why the policeman gave me a ticket." "What's the ticket mean?" Olivia asked. Laura replied, "It means I have to pay a lot of money as a punishment." The little girl then asked, "Why didn't he just spank you instead?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a gruelling day of moving my sister-in-law, Wanda, into her new house, we were sitting outside arguing which direction the house faced. Half of us thought it was south, the rest believed it was east. The question was settled when Wanda came out on the deck and announced, "East." When we asked what made her so certain, she told us that the day before, on the road beside the house, the speeding ticket she had received said she was "eastbound."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About fifteen minutes after I had wrapped a bulky item for a customer at the art gallery where I work and she had left, she returned. She told me I had given her a little something extra with her purchase. While driving, she told me, she had heard strange noises from the backseat of her car. Stopping to investigate, she discovered her package contained not only the easel she had just bought, but also the kitten who lives in the gallery.

**** Quickies ****

Youngster looking around tidy, immaculate bedroom: "Okay! Who's been messing around with my room?"
~
I didn't realize how much my nursing career had affected my family until the day my three-year-old granddaughter said to me, "Grammy, I think my blood sugar is low. Can I have a cookie?"
~
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "66." He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

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**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!
 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Circuit turns for Hornish