|
"Friends
are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended
for younger readers - PG
Welcome New
Subscribers
Anyone without a sense
of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help
Them
Remember,it is easier to get
older
than it is to get wiser
TUESDAY AUGUST 29,2006
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
Did you hear about the woman who started dating rakes and fell on hard
tines?
When my daughter
was three she went to a local
day care while I worked. One day the teacher
was
speaking to another girl in the room and called
her "Kate." My
daughter was puzzled and asked
her why she called her Kate when the girl's
name was Katelynn.
The teacher told her that Kate was a nickname,
then
asked my daughter, "What does your mother call you?"
Without missing a beat
my daughter replied, "A pain in the butt."
Eight years later and I am still
reminded of that
every time I see someone from that center! I
will never
live that
down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"This
weekend in Los Angeles, California it's the Emmy
Awards. I'm not
going this year. Last year was embarrassing.
William Shatner and
I showed up wearing the same toupee."
--Dave
Letterman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The tough businessman was feeling very ill and
went to the doctor. The
doc examined him and
backed away, saying, "I'm sorry to tell you this,
but you have an advanced case of highly
infectious rabies. You must have
had it for some
time. It will almost certainly be fatal." "Could
you
give me a pen and paper?" asked the businessman.
"Do you want to write your
will?"
"No, I want to make a list of all the people I want to
bite."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The
results of a new study are out this week saying that
New Jersey
is one of the most livable states in the country.
The study has
a margin of error of 100 %." --Conan O'Brien
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
girl of seven walked into her mother's bedroom
and asked her to tell her a
bedtime story. The
mother wasn't thrilled with the request. She
said,
"It's almost two in the morning." "I know,
Mommy, but I'd love to hear a
story."
The mother said, "Lie down in bed with me. We'll
wait for your
father and he'll tell us both
one!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Changing
'french fries' to 'freedom fries' was arguably
the Republican
Congress' greatest accomplishment. Democrats
would have called
them 'surrender fries'." --Stephen Colbert
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two
of my friends, Wendell and Gregory, were discussing the amazing advances in
automotive technology.
"You know," said Gregory, "cars are almost
entirely run by computer. Pretty soon, more and more electric cars will be on
the market. And before long, for heaven's sake, they'll probably come up with a
biological car."
"We already have a biological car, Gregory," said
Wendell. "It's called a
horse."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After
buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED
they would
take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with
the
responsibility.
One evening, exasperated, she asked them,
"How many times
do you think that hamster would have died if I
hadn't looked
after it?"
After a moment, her
5-year-old son replied quizzically,
"Er....
Once?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before we got to the hospital, my
husband, Raymond, an electrical engineer, was concerned when my labor pains were
not as regular as he expected. He grew more agitated as we progressed through
hospital admission, and got positively twitchy as the doctor and nurse
speculated how soon the delivery would be, given the difficulty of predicting
with first-time mothers. Only when the fetal heart-rate monitor was hooked up
and Raymond had examined it did he calm down.
Afterwards, he admitted: "I
wasn't worried about the baby; I was just so glad to see that machine. It was
the only thing in this whole process that worked to exact
specifications."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One
of the ministers at the church where I work as parish secretary was meeting with
a lovely young couple he was to marry the next year. After they left, I said how
much I liked the young woman. "Me, too," the minister replied. "I fall in love
with most of the women I
marry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A boy was bagging groceries at a
supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange
juice. Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the
machine, but his request was denied. Said the store manager, "Sorry, kid, but
baggers can't be juicers."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Why the glum look?"
"I just don't understand today's world.
My son wears an earring. My daughter has a tattoo. My wife makes twice what I
do."
"So what are you going to do?"
"I'm thinking of going home to
my father."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Professor to
a student: "Can you think of a solution to end unemployment?"
"Yes, sir!
I'd put all the men on one island and the women on another."
"And what
would they be doing then?"
"Building
boats!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
fisherman's wife was sitting by a tent in a clearing on
the bank
of a river when along came the park ranger and said,
"Excuse me
ma'am but I need to speak to your husband. Can you
tell me where
he is?"
She replied, pointing to a clump of reeds. "Go over
there and
look for the pole with a worm on both
ends."
****
Quickies ****
"This taught me a
lesson, but I'm not sure what it is." (John McEnroe.
~
"My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away as long as I
don't have a good time." (Lee Trevino)
~
"I could have
been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades." (Duffy Daugherty, Michigan State
football coach)
~
I chose
the path less traveled, but only because I was lost.
~
YUK
According to
U.S. Food & Drug Administration regulations, ground Paprika is allowed up to
20% mold, 75 insect fragments and 11 rodent hairs per 25 grams, and that Tomato
Puree may contain 9 fly eggs and 1 maggot per 100 grams.
~
Anyone can become angry. That is easy.
But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time,
for the right purpose and in the right way, that is not easy.
~
The person who knows how will always
have a job. But the person who knows why will be the boss.
~
"Keep on
going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are
least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting
down." (Charles F. Kettering)
~
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except
there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
~
When
you're wearing a watch on an airplane, time flies
~
My password is the
same as my pet's name.
My dog's name is pFt5% deLt, but I change it every 90
days.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's
ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca
**** HEALTH NEWS ****
Rate of herpes infections declining
WASHINGTON, -- A new study says the rate of genital
herpes
infections in the United States is declining. The
Centers
for Disease Control says 17 percent of Americans had
HSV-2
between 1999 and 2004, down from 21 percent between
1988
and 1994, WebMD reported. The CDC study -- published in
the
current issue of The Journal of the American
Medical
Association -- is based on actual blood samples. WebMD
said
the report supports recent studies documenting a
reduction
in high-risk sex among teens. The study also found a
reduc-
tion in the rate of infection with HSV-1, the virus
that
causes cold sores. HSV-1, fell from 62 percent between
1988
and 1994, to 57.7 between 1999 and 2004. The
researchers
warn, however, that the herpes virus that causes
cold sores
may one day become an important cause of genital
herpes.
The study says an increase in teen oral sex, which
is
attributed to helping reduce the rate of HSV-2, may
be
increasing genital infections with
HSV-1.
Study sheds new
light on neural circuits
WALTHAM, Mass., -- U.S.
researchers at Brandeis University
are offering new insight into
how the brain's neural circuits
are actually shaped by
experience. "Getting our brains to
wire up properly requires
experience during an early critical
period of development, and
understanding the mechanisms of
this experience-dependent
plasticity is critical for under-
standing human development,
its disorders, and for designing
strategies that promote optimal
cognitive development during
early childhood," explained author
and neuroscientist Gina
Turrigiano. Neuroscientists have long
known the brain needs
proper sensory stimulation to develop
correctly and that
experience can induce plastical changes in
the functional
architecture of sensory cortices. In their new
experiments,
Turrigiano and colleagues explored the visual
cortex circuit
of young rats by recording electrical activity of
neurons
and their connections. "We have found an important and
novel
mechanism involved in the loss of function of
cortical
circuits," said co-author neurophysiologist Arianna
Maffei.
"While our results directly apply to the loss of
visual
function secondary to sensory deprivation, they very
likely
represent a more general strategy for cortical networks
to
respond to experience." The research is detailed in
the
current online edition of the journal
Nature.
MAJORITY LIKE
LASIK SURGERY
Millions in the United States who get
LASIK surgery each
year are happy with the results, a study
suggests in
Current Opinions in Ophthalmology. The 15-year
literature
review indicates most reasons for discontent could
be
resolved with more patient education before
surgery.
"Basically this confirms our own clinical
experience:
patients are happy, patients turn out well," says
study
author Balamurali Ambati, ophthalmologist and
corneal
specialist at the Medical College of Georgia. Ambati
finds
94 percent of patients participating in major trials
across
the country have at least 20/20 vision following the
surgery,
98 percent of patients in major trials had 20/25 vision
or
better and nearly all would recommend the procedure to
a
friend.
*****Fred.....The Ole Fritbear!!!*****
Another new
week and a new bunch of GGG sent just for the fun of it. Hope you get a chuckle
or two and most of all that you have a great
week.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The
Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was
an
exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had
to
play golf. So...he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick
and
convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate
Pastor
left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about
forty
miles away. This way he knew he couldn't accidentally meet anyone he
knew
from his Parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all,
it
was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this
time,
Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens
and
exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The
Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit
the
ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of
it,
rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!!
St.
Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let
him
do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to
tell?"
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
On
a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a gas station in a
remote part of the Irish countryside. The gas station attendant obviously knows
nothing about golf, greeting the golf star in a typical Irish manner, completely
unaware of his identity. "Top of the mornin' to you, sir," says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello," and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does
so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?"
asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger. "Well, what on the
good earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls
on when I'm driving," says Tiger. "Jaysus, sweet Mary and Joseph," says the
Irishman, "BMW tinks of
everything!"
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Maria
had just gotten married and, being a traditional Italian, she was still a
virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very
nervous. Her mother reassured her, "Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go
upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta." So, up
she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy
chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Tony's got a big
hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria," says the mother, "all good men have hairy
chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went, again. When
she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants, exposing his hairy legs.
Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Tony took off his pants and
he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry, all good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good
man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went. When she got
there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot, he was missing three toes.
When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"
"Stay here," says Mama, "and stir the
pasta."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Fifteen
days ago, I read that smoking can kill you, so the next day I stopped smoking.
Twelve days ago, I read that too much red meat can kill you, so the next day I
stopped eating red meat. Eight days ago, I read that drinking can kill you, so
the next day I stopped drinking. Three days ago, I heard that cell phone can
kill you, so I stopped using my cell phone. Yesterday, I read that having sex
can kill you, so this morning I stopped
reading.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
A
guy says to his buddy, "Do you talk to your wife after sex?" The first guy says,
"Yes, if I can find a
phone."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
A
young guy goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for
a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says,
"Yeah, I was a salesman back in my hometown." The boss liked the kid and said,
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." After
the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make
today?" The kid said, "One." "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 sales
a day! How much was the sale for?" The kid says, "$101,237.65." "$101,237.65?
What the heck did you sell?" "First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold
him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new
fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the
coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat
department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't
think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive
department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition." The boss said, "A guy came in here
to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a truck?" "Well, no," said the
young guy. "The guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, well,
your weekend's shot, you might as well go
fishing."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
lonely guy placed an ad in the classifieds, it read: "Wife Wanted." The next
day, he received more than a hundred letters. They all said the same thing. "You
can have
mine."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Q:
How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the
time she brings
it.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Two
of my friends, Wendell and Gregory, were discussing the amazing advances in
automotive technology.
"You know," said Gregory, "cars are almost
entirely run by computer. Pretty soon, more and more electric cars will be on
the market. And before long, for heaven's sake, they'll probably come up with a
biological car."
"We already have a biological car, Gregory," said
Wendell. "It's called a
horse."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
One
of the ministers at the church where I work as parish secretary was meeting with
a lovely young couple he was to marry the next year. After they left, I said how
much I liked the young woman. "Me, too," the minister replied. "I fall in love
with most of the women I
marry."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
A
boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a
machine for squeezing fresh orange juice. Intrigued, the young man asked if he
could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied. Said the store
manager, "Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be
juicers."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Did
you know .... Coca Cola was originally described as an "Esteemed Brain Tonic and
Intellectual
Beverage".
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Write
your plans in pencil... and then give God the
eraser.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
"Why
the glum look?"
"I just don't understand today's world. My son wears an
earring. My daughter has a tattoo. My wife makes twice what I do."
"So
what are you going to do?"
"I'm thinking of going home to my
father."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
He
was bent over his book intently, pencil clutched tightly in his hand. "Ah," he
sighed, his eyes misting as he recalled the past. "I remember the good old days.
Kindergarten was such fun," my grandson announced as he continued working on his
first grade
homework.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
I
had worked late, and my yellow lab was so overjoyed to see me arrive home that
he jumped up just as I leaned down. Our heads collided, and I sported an
impressive shiner for several weeks. I had to repeat frequently to co-workers
and friends how I came by it. One day on the elevator, a secretary whom I hadn't
seen for some time looked at my black eye and exclaimed: "Lorraine! What
happened?"
"The dog did it," I wearily replied.
A man standing
next to us looked over at me and said knowingly, "Oh, a
boxer."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
In
case you ever need to know ... Once every month, National Geographic publishes a
stack of magazines 52 miles tall. And nobody ever throws them
away!!!!
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
"I
don't believe it!" the man said to his friend while weighing himself in the
men's room. "I began this diet yesterday, but the scale says I'm heavier. Here,
Norm, hold my jacket....It still says I'm heavier. Here, hold my chocolate
bar."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
This
concludes todays edition of Grins, Giggles an Groaners. Hoope you had a chuckle
or few laffs.
Have a Great Day and a Successful Week ... LABOR DAY is
just one week away.
**** Reader's Submissions
****
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma
Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer.)
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the
earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the
day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it
melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was
stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the
'good' living room and worried
much less about the dirt when someone wanted
to light a fire in the
fireplace.
I would have taken the time to
listen to my grandfather ramble about
his youth.
I would have shared
more of the responsibility carried by my
husband.
I would never have
insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer
day because my hair had
just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass
stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television
and
more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything
just because it was practical,
wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last
a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have
cherished
every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me
was
the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids
kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later.
Now go get washed up
for dinner." There would have been more "I love
you's." More "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every
minute...look at it and really see it. Live it and never give it
back.
Stop sweating the small stuff.
Don't worry about who doesn't like you,
who has more, or who's doing
what.
Instead, let's cherish the
relationships we have with those who do
love us.
Let's think about
what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are
doing each day to promote
ourselves mentally, physically,
emotionally. I hope you all have a blessed
day.
From Ruthie
**** ON THIS DAY
****
**** HEADS UP FOLKS
****
These Are My Causes
Please Help
This is a link for
FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent. I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a
mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a
thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits
to donate mammogram
in exchange for
advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to
click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated
every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to
go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This
doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the
number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in
exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link
for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U
Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject
Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****
29-
Buell Kazee singer/banjoist, born Magoffin
County, KY 1900.
Grady Cole born Lafayette, GA
1909.
Jimmie Rodgers recorded "Miss The
Mississippi And You" 1932.
Don Schlitz award winning songwriter, born
Durham, NC 1952.
Cousin Jody re-joined the Grand Ole Opry
1953.
Dan Truman "Diamond Rio," born St. George,
UT 1956.
Jim Reeves' "I Guess I'm Crazy," went to #1
three weeks after his death 1964.
Ernie Ashworth and wife Bettye, welcomed son
Paul Wesley to the family 1964.
Shawn Camp,
singer/songwriter/fiddler/guitarist, born Little Rock, AR 1966.
Jimmy Reed died 1976.
Kathie Baillie and Michael Bonagura of
Baillie & The Boys were married 1981.
Jimmie Short, guitarist "Texas Troubadours"
died 1986.
Archie Campbell, age 72, died in Knoxville,
TN of a heart attack 1987. Joined the Grand Ole Opry 1958. In
1969 he became a writer and cast member of Hee Haw. Archie won the
1969 CMA Award for Comedian of the Year.
Johnny Rodriquez arrested on a murder charge
at his home in Uvalde Country Texas, 1998. The arrest came after
Rodriquez shot a man he thought was an intruder in his home.
Charlie Feathers, pioneer Rockabilly artist,
age 66, died Memphis, TN 1998. Charlie was a favorite Rockabilly
songwriter, of the stable of SUN recording artists. Rockabilly Hall of Fame
inductee.
Curb Records released "Best Of Deborah
Allen" 2000.
****
COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
George Strait to Release New Album on Oct. 3
George Strait will release his new album, It
Just Comes
Natural, on Oct. 3 on MCA Nashville. The album's 15
tracks
include "Give It Away," which is currently at No. 5
on
Billboard's country airplay chart after just nine
weeks.
The album also includes songs from Bobby Braddock
("She
Told Me So"), Guy Clark ("Texas Cookin'"), Dean
Dillon
("That's My Kind of Woman") and Lee Roy Parnell ("One
Foot
in Front of the Other").
Steve Azar Films
Music Video With John Daly
Steve Azar filmed a
music video with pro golfer John Daly
at Old Natchez Country
Club on Thursday (Aug. 24) in
Franklin, Tenn. The song, "You
Don't Know a Thing," will
be included on Azar's next album,
Indianola, on Dang/Midas
Records. No release date has been
announced. Azar's hits
include "I Don't Have to Be Me ('Til
Monday)" and "Waitin'
on Joe." Peter Zavadil directed the new
video.
**** Amy's Kitchen
****
RANCH
CASSEROLE
1 large onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. cooking oil
1
(4 oz.) jars diced pimiento drained
2 Tbsp. jalapeno peppers,
finely chopped
12 (6-inch) corn tortillas
1/4 C.
butter
1/4 C. flour
2 (4 oz.) cans green
chilies
4 tsp. chili powder
1 tsp. dried
oregano
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp.
pepper
1 (14 oz.) can chicken broth
1 (8 oz.)
carton sour cream
3 C. shredded cooked chicken
2
C. Monterey Jack cheese
DIRECTIONS:
Cook
onions and garlic in 2 tablespoons of cooking oil until
they are
tender. Remove from heat and stir in pimiento,
chilies, and
jalapeno peppers. Set aside. Cook tortillas one
at a time, in
about 1/4 inch cooking coil in a medium skillet
until tortillas
are crisp, turning once. Drain on paper towels
and set aside.
Melt butter in another sauce pan. Stir in flour,
chili power,
oregano, salt, and pepper. Add the chicken broth all
at once.
Cook and stir until thickened and bubbly. Cook and
stir for 1
minute more; remove from heat. Stir in sour cream.
Arrange six
of the tortillas, over lapping slightly, in an
ungreased 3 quart
rectangular basking dish. top with half of
the chicken, and half
of the cheese. Repeat layers. Cover
loosely with foil. Bake in a
350 degree oven for 35 to 40
minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes
before cutting.
Yield: 12
Servings
Zucchini
Salsa
2 (8 inch) zucchini grated
1 small onion
grated
1 Large Tomato chopped
1 Jalapeno chopped (add two if you desire it
hotter)
1 / 4 cup Cilantro chopped fine
Season all (garlic flavor)
Salt
and pepper
1 / 2 tsp sugar
Combine all in a sealable container. Chill.
Serve with chicken or
tortilla chips. You can also add some leaves of cabbage
to this if
desired. You can also adjust the seasonings to you own
taste.
Roz in Indy
Snickerdoodle Ice Cream
1/2
C. granulated sugar
1/2 C. firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 tsp. ground
cinnamon
1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg
2 C. heavy whipping cream
1-1/2 C.half
& half
1-1/2 tsp. vanilla
Combine sugar, brown sugar, cinnamon and
nutmeg in medium bowl. Stir in
whipping cream, half & half and vanilla.
Pour into ice cream freezer and
freeze according to manufacturer's
directions.
Carolyn - Illinois
**** TODAY'S
USELESS FACT ****
How do cats "know" to use litter
boxes?
 Cats know how to use litter boxes because they
still have thousands of years of wild cat DNA floating around in their nervous
systems. It's the same reason why dogs like to bury bones, or people respond
negatively to high-pitched shrieking sounds.
Cats are attracted to litter
boxes for elimination because they provide a sandy substrate for covering their
waste. Covering waste is very important in the wild, as it helps to elude
predators. A cat's urine can smell pretty strong -- it can actually attract
hunters. That's why in the wild cats always urinate far from where they sleep
and hunt, and they do their best to cover it up when they're finished.
To
be effective, a litter box also has to provide a certain amount of space for the
cat. "Taking care of business" can be a vulnerable moment in more ways than one,
especially if something is actively hunting you.
If your cat is having
litter box accuracy problems, you may want to consider replacing it. Most litter
boxes are plastic, which means they tend to absorb odors. Try to replace your
litter box with an identical model, however, as our feline friends are
notoriously sensitive to changes in their environment.
****A
PARTING THOUGHT ****
There are
two sides to every argument, but I don't have time to listen to
yours.
LAST CALL Y'ALL
HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA
HEAR!
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