**** HEALTH NEWS ****

Cervical cancer vaccine could save lives  

LONDON, -- British health officials are being told that  
vaccinating all 12-year-old girls to prevent cervical  
cancer could save more than 700 lives a year. In findings  
presented to an international conference in Prague, the  
Czech Republic, GlaxoSmithKline predicts a drop of 75  
percent in deaths from cervical cancer with use of its  
Cervarix vaccine in Britain, the BBC reports. The drug  
targets two strains of human papillomavirus which are  
considered  the most common forms of the disease. While  
admitting the 100 percent coverage assumed in the study  
is unrealistic, researchers say even if 80 percent of  
girls were vaccinated, the number of deaths would drop by  
61 percent. GlaxoSmithKline is in fierce competition with  
Sanofi Pasteur, which has developed a rival vaccine,  
Gardasil, that is about to be granted a European license,  
the report said. Cervarix is still in the development  
stage and the maker will not seek European approval for  
approximately another year.   
   
Important neuron-muscle link found  

SAN FRANCISCO,-- A signaling link in the fruit fly, found  
by the University of California San Francisco between  
neurons and muscles, might help treat Lou Gehrig's disease.  
The findings are relevant for ongoing research in identify-  
ing causes and developing treatments for neuromuscular  
neurodegenerative diseases in humans, such as amyotrophic  
lateral sclerosis -- or ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's  
disease -- says study co-author Graeme Davis, associate  
professor and vice chair of the Department of Biochemistry  
and Biophysics at the University of California, San  
Francisco. "If we want to make new drugs to treat neuro-  
degenerative disease, then we have to identify new drug  
targets, and our study findings present that potential,"  
he said. "This study is a significant step forward because  
we have shown that a signaling system composed of several  
genes is important for keeping the nervous system stable."  
The findings are published in the journal Neuron.   

ABUSED CHILDREN FACE HEART DISEASE RISK  

Abused children face a significantly increased risk of  
developing ischemic heart disease as adults, U.S. public  
health researchers say. Their study, published in  
Circulation: Journal of the American Heart Association,  
is the first to suggest a link between childhood trauma  
and adult heart disease, the authors say. The investigators  
from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found  
children who experienced emotional, physical or sexual  
abuse or neglect or who came from dysfunctional families,  
touched by incarceration, drug abuse, mental illness or  
domestic violence, had a 30 percent to 70 percent greater  
risk of developing ischemic heart disease than people with  
more normal childhoods.  

*****Fred.....The Ole Fritbear!!!*****

Happy T G I F -- Weekend Grins, Giggles and Groaners sent "just for 
the fun of it" - hope you get a few laffs.

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A rural Frenchman was on trial for killing his wife when
he found her with a neighbor. Upon being asked why he shot
her instead of her lover, he replied,
"Ah, m'sieur, is it not better to shoot a woman once than a
different man every week?"

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An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting
          into mischief, finally asked him,
        "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

        The boy thought it over and said,
"Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and
     keep slamming the door until St. Peter says,

'For Heaven's sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"

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A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor
gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing
physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if
you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop
        taking your trouble to bed with you."

          "I know" said the man, "but I can't.
             My wife refuses to sleep alone."

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There was a blonde, a redhead and a brunette.
       The redhead and the brunette were always making
       fun of the blonde saying how dumb she was. So,
     the blonde decided to prove the other two wrong by
     learning the capitals of every country in the world.

      The next time they were together, the redhead and
       the brunette started to make fun of the blonde,
      who then told them that she knew the capitals of
              every country in the world.

                 The redhead said
         "Oh yeah, what's the capital of England?"

                The blonde replied "E".
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  During the Persian Gulf War, my Marine Corps unit
had to dig foxholes every time we changed positions.
Once, when a private was making his trench, he
complained to our sergeant, "Why do we have to
         do this stupid digging?"

Then there was a loud exlosion a hundred feet away.

      "What was that?" asked the private.

"That," replied the sergeant, is called incentive."
                      --Reader's Digest

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"Activities Guide To Burning Calories"

Here's the activities guide to burning calories at work
and the number of calories they consume per hour.

Beating around the bush. . . . . . . . .75
Jumping to conclusions . . . . . . . . 100
Climbing the walls . . . . . . . . . . 150
Swallowing your pride. . . . . . . . . .50
Passing the buck . . . . . . . . . . . .25
Throwing your weight around (depending on your
weight). ..50-300
Dragging your heels. . . . . . . . . . 100
Pushing your luck. . . . . . . . . . . 250
Making mountains out of molehills. . . 500
Hitting the nail on the head . . . . . .50
Wading through paperwork . . . . . . . 300
Bending over backwards . . . . . . . .  75
Jumping on the bandwagon . . . . . . . 200
Balancing the books. . . . . . . . . . .25
Running around in circles. . . . . . . 350
Eating crow. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225
Tooting your own horn. . . . . . . . . .25
Climbing the ladder of success . . . . 750
Pulling out the stops. . . . . . . . . .75
Adding fuel to the fire. . . . . . . . 160
Wrapping it up at the day's end. . . . .12

To which you may want to add your own
favourite activities, including:

Opening a can of worms . . . . . . . . .50
Putting your foot in your mouth. . . . 300
Starting the ball rolling. . . . . . . .90
Going over the edge. . . . . . . . . . .25
Picking up the pieces after. . . . . . 350
Counting eggs before they hatch. . . . . 6
Calling it quits . . . . . . . . . . . . 2
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A man's boat capsizes in the middle of the ocean. He washes up on a 
deserted island with nothing but the clothes on his back. He builds a 
small shelter and finds food and water, but he misses civilization 
more with each passing day.

While walking on the beach one day, he sees a beautiful woman emerge 
from the ocean wearing a scuba tank and a wetsuit. She says, "You 
look like you could use a smoke." She unzips a pocket on one arm of 
her wetsuit, pulls a Cuban cigar from inside, and hands it to the 
man. The man smokes slowly, and tells her that it is the finest cigar 
that he has ever smoked.

"How about a drink?" the woman asks. She unzips another pocket, 
reaches in, and pulls out a small flask. "It's a 17-year-old, single 
malt scotch, aged in oak," the woman tells him. The man is almost 
beside himself with joy as he sips the drink.

The woman then begins unzipping the front of her wetsuit. "Want to 
play around?" she asks.

"Damnnn!" the man says. "You have a set of golf clubs in there too?

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This little Italian boy and this little Jewish boy lived about

a block apart in the neighborhood and basically grew up together.
The Jewish boy was the son of a jeweler and the Italian boy was
the son of a hitman. Oddly enough, they had the same birthday.
Well, for their 12th birthday, the little Jewish boy gets a
Rolex watch and the little Italian boy gets a .22 Baretta.

The next day they are out on the street corner comparing their
presents and neither is happy so they switch gifts with each
other. The little Italian boy goes home to show his father and
his father is NOT pleased!

"What're you, nuts? Lemme tell you something, you idiot!! Some
day you're gonna meet a nice girl, you're gonna wanna settle
down and get married. You'll have a few kids, all that stuff.
THEN one day, you're gonna come home and find your wife in bed
with another man. What the heck ya gonna do??? Look at your
watch and say, 'Hey, how long you gonna be?'"

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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a 
number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that 
he had a terrible compulsion.

He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife 
suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but 
Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the 
compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife 
could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to 
put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh...she got fired too."

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A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is 
wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, 
and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man 
walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies 
sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity 
prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"

"Ever since my wife found it in my truck!"

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A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for 
company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is 
beautiful, so he's doing alright - but after a few months he gets 
lonely...

The pig starts to look more and more attractive - soft, pink flesh, 
round buttocks, etc. But every time this poor guy makes an advance 
towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his 
leg. Very frustrating.

One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there 
and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of 
the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and 
brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally 
she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you 
for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do 
anything for you, anything, just name it."

The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog 
for a walk?"

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around 
with a flyswatter. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh!, Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females", he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone". He responded

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Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the 
church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. 
Several members did not approve of her extra curricular
activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made 
a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being 
an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the 
town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George and 
several others that everyone seeing it there would know what he was 
doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just
turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He
said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his
pickup in front of Mildred's house, walked home .... and left it
there all night.


You gotta love George
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"Word Power"

    1) Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just
    after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

    2) Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets
    into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

    3) Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that
    stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
    unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near
    future.

    4) Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders
    the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

    5) Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a
    grub in the fruit you're eating.

    6) Decaflon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the
    day consuming only things that are good for you.

    7) Dopelar effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
    smarter when you come at them rapidly.

    8) Extraterrestaurant (n.) An eating place where you feel
    you've been abducted and experimented upon. Also known as
    an E-T-ry.

    9) Faunacated (adj.) How wildlife ends up when its
    environment is destroyed. Hence faunacatering (v.), which
    has made a meal of many species.

    10) Foreploy (n.) Any misrepresentation or outright lie
    about yourself that leads to sex.

    11) Grantartica (n.) The cold, isolated place where art
    companies dwell without funding.

    12) Hemaglobe (n.) The bloody state of the world.

    13) Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
    which lasts until you realize it was your money to start
    with.

    14) Kinstirpation (n.) A painful inability to move
    relatives who come to visit.

    15) Lullabuoy (n.) An idea that keeps floating into your
    head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.

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A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody
nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd
been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching
         him up, he asked his son what happened.

"Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel.
    And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."

     "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."

"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"

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  While handing a 25 cent-off coupon to the supermarket
clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently
missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the
              scale and was gone.
The checker looked distressed, so I the woman said,
      "That's Okay, it's in coupon heaven now."
     "Coupon heaven?", the checker said.
"Yes", the woman said, "That's where coupons go
                 when they die."

      "Only the redeemed ones!", said the checker.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual
findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can
        communicate at a distance of 300 miles."

"What on earth would one whale say to another 300 miles away?"
         asked a sarcastic member of the group.

"I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds
something like this: "Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!?!"
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided
to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they
showed up telling the professor that their car had broken down
the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit
                more time to study.

The professor told them that they could have another day to study.
That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were
         sure that they knew just about everything.

Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to two
separate classrooms to take the exam. Each boy just shrugged and
        went to two different parts of the building.

       As each sat down, they read the directions:
"For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom. For 95 points,
             tell me WHICH tire it was!"
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The rich industrialist from the North was horrified to find the
southern fisherman lying lazily beside his boat, smoking a pipe.

    "Why aren't you out fishing?" said the industrialist.
"Because I have caught enough fish for the day," said the fisherman.
            "Why don't you catch some more?"
              "What would I do with them?"
"You could earn more money," was the industrialist's reply. "With
that you could have a motor fixed to your boat and go into deeper
waters and catch more fish. Then you would make enough to buy nylon
nets. These would bring you more fish and more money. Soon you would
have enough money to own two boats . . . maybe even a fleet of boats.
           Then you would be a rich man like me."

       "What would I do then?" asked the fisherman.

            "Then you could really enjoy life."

        "And what is it you think I am doing right now?"
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That's all for this edition.  Hope you are smiling from ear to ear. 
Have a safe and fun filled weekend.


The Ole Fritzbear in Chicago!!!

**** ON THIS DAY ****

SPICY CORN BAKE   

  
1/4 lb. Bacon, chopped into 1/2-inch pieces  
1/3 C. Onion, diced  
1/3 C. Celery, diced  
1/3 C. Green Bell Pepper, diced  
1 stick, Butter (1/4 lb.), plus 2 Tbsp. melted,  
1/4 C. Milk  
1 can (13.5 oz.) Cream Style Corn  
1 can (13.5 oz.) Whole Kernel Corn  
2 Tbsp. Jalapenos, chopped fine  
2 Tbsp. Pimentos, chopped fine  
1 tsp. Salt  
1 Tbsp. Sugar  
2 C. Corn Bread Muffins, Crumbled  

DIRECTIONS:  
In a large skillet over medium heat, cook bacon until crisp.  
Add onion, celery and bell pepper and saute 2 minutes over  
low heat; set aside. In medium-size pan, melt 1/4 pound  
butter; add milk, corn, jalapenos, pimentos, salt and sugar;  
heat over low heat. Add bacon-vegetable mixture and 1 C. corn  
bread crumbs to corn mixture. Heat well, stirring frequently.  
Transfer to an 8-inch-square-by-11/2-inch pan. Moisten  
remaining corn bread crumbs with remaining margarine and  
sprinkle on top of corn mixture. Bake at 350 degrees until  
crumbs are light brown.  

Yield: 8 Servings 


**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Where did the concept of "starve a fever, feed a cold" come from and is it good advice?

The original maxim is "feed a cold, starve a fever." In other words, eat plentifully to fight a cold, and resist food if you have a fever. To avoid confusion, we recommend steering clear of both versions of this myth.

The practice of fasting to combat fever dates back to a 1574 dictionary. As do many other medical practices from the Middle Ages, starving yourself when you're sick seems to us to be a pretty questionable tactic.

However, opinions on the issue differ. A 2002 article from New Scientist cites a Dutch research team that ran an ad hoc experiment and came to the conclusion that "eating a meal boosts the type of immune response that destroys the viruses responsible for colds, while fasting stimulates the response that tackles the bacterial infections responsible for most fevers."

But the evidence is far from conclusive. Colds and flus are caused by viruses, and your body needs energy to fight them. Stay at home, eat light, healthy food when you're hungry, and drink lots of fluids.

****A PARTING THOUGHT ****

LAST CALL Y'ALL

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
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Hey, Let's be careful out there
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