**** HEALTH NEWS ****

"Diet" cocktails are more intoxicating  

NEW YORK - Having your alcohol with a sugar-free  
artificially sweetened mixer may cut calories,  
but it will also make you drunker, a study suggests.  

The problem, Australian researchers found, is that drinks  
made with "diet" mixers pass through the stomach more  
rapidly and, therefore, make blood alcohol levels spike  
particularly high.  

Their findings, published in the September issue of the  
American Journal of Medicine and reported earlier this  
year at a medical conference, are based on an experiment  
with eight healthy young men.  

The volunteers had their blood alcohol levels measured  
repeatedly in each of two conditions: once after having  
a vodka beverage made with a sugary mixer, and once  
after drinking the same amount of vodka with an artifi-  
cially sweetened mixer.  

The researchers also used ultrasound tests to measure  
each volunteer's rate of stomach emptying after having  
the drink.  

They found that with the diet mixer, the men's stomachs  
emptied about 15 minutes sooner than when they downed  
the regular mixer.  

Blood alcohol levels peaked at around the same time --  
30 minutes after having the drink -- regardless of which  
mixer was used. The difference, however, was that alcohol  
levels surged higher with the low-calorie mixer: to 0.05  
percent, on average, versus 0.03 percent with the sugar-  
sweetened mixer.  

In some jurisdictions, this would mean the difference  
between driving legally and driving drunk, according to  
the study authors, led by Dr. Christopher K. Rayner of  
Royal Adelaide Hospital.  

The difference in peak blood alcohol levels was "striking,"  
the researchers write, and it shows that a drink's alcohol  
content isn't the only factor people should consider.  

In general, women's blood alcohol levels soar higher than  
men's after drinking the same amount alcohol. And women  
may be particularly drawn to diet mixers in order to cut  
calories, the researchers note.   

  
Abnormal Protein Linked to 2 Neurological Diseases  

Finding offers hope for treatment of Lou Gehrig's disease  
and frontotemporal dementia  

THURSDAY,  -- Researchers have identified the abnormal  
protein common to two devastating neurological diseases  
-- Lou Gehrig's disease, which causes death by paralysis,  
and frontotemporal dementia, which starts with bizarre  
behavior and has a destructive effect on mental function  
comparable to Alzheimer's disease.  

The protein is prosaically designated TDP-43, according  
to a report in the Oct. 6 issue of Science led by  
researchers at the University of Pennsylvania School of  
Medicine. When it folds abnormally, the protein should  
be quietly removed from the brain. But in some people,  
the removal system doesn't work, and the protein  
accumulates inside brain cells. The damage done depends  
on where the accumulation occurs.  

"This provides a beginning of an area of investigation  
with the goal of trying to turn it into something useful,  
first as a biomarker and eventually as a target of  
therapy," said study leader Virginia Lee, director of  
the university's Center for Neurodegenerative Disease  
Research.  

It has long been thought that the two conditions are  
somehow related, Lee said. The TDP-43 protein provides  
the common thread. When its abnormal form accumulates  
in cells of the frontal and temporal lobes -- the brain  
areas that control judgment and comportment -- the  
result is frontotemporal dementia (FTD). When the  
accumulation is in the spinal cord cells, which control  
movement, the result is Lou Gehrig's disease, whose  
formal name is amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, she said.  

The incidence of Lou Gehrig's disease is one in 100,000  
Americans, Lee said. The incidence of FTD is unknown  
because it usually is treated as a psychiatric disorder,  
but it is believed to be the second most common form of  
dementia, behind Alzheimer's disease.  

The researchers used an immunological approach to isolate  
the protein, Lee said. Their knowledge of other abnormal  
proteins in neurological diseases, such as beta amyloid  
in Alzheimer's, made them believe it had a high molecular  
weight and was highly insoluble.  

Working with brain tissue from people who had FTD, the  
researchers got rid of low-molecular-weight, soluble  
proteins. They injected what was left into mice, whose  
immune systems generated antibodies against the material.  
Work with more than 50,000 tissue samples eventually  
pointed to TDP-43, a finding confirmed with the use of  
commercially available antibodies against the protein.  

Research yet to be done will focus on why the protein  
becomes abnormal in the first place and why the body's  
disposal system doesn't work properly, Lee said.  

Stephen Snyder is a program director in the Neuroscience a  
nd Neuropsychology of Aging Program at the National  
Institute on Aging, which funded the new work. "This paper  
shows a signature protein," he said. "This is exactly the  
kind of finding that moves us ahead quickly."  

But "quickly" has a distinct meaning in the study of  
neurological diseases, Snyder said. It has been a quarter  
century since the role of beta amyloid in Alzheimer's  
disease was discovered, yet work to develop treatments  
for the disorder is still under way, he said.  

"The neurodegenerative-disease nut cracks open  
grudgingly," Snyder said. "But all that we have learn-  
ed with Alzheimer's disease will come into play here.  
The finding of this particular protein in lesions of  
these different diseases, that has to count for some-  
thing. It gives us a mechanism involved in these  
devastating diseases. How it is involved is an inter-  
esting thing to look at."   

Behavior Therapy Eases Kids' Sleep Woes  

 New review of the data shows these interventions work  

THURSDAY, -- Behavioral therapies can be an effective  
means of dealing with bedtime problems and nighttime  
awakenings in children, a new review of the data finds.  

The findings are based on a review of 52 studies with a  
total of 2,500 infants and toddlers, conducted by a task  
force appointed by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine  
(AASM).  

The findings are published in the October issue of Sleep.  

"The results indicate that behavioral therapies produce  
reliable and durable changes in bedtime problems and  
night wakings in infants and children," study author  
Jodi A. Mindell, of St. Joseph's University in  
Philadelphia, said in a prepared statement.  

"Across all studies, 94 percent report that behavioral  
interventions produced clinically significant improve-  
ments in bedtime problems and/or night wakings," she  
said. "Approximately 82 percent of children benefit  
from treatment, and the majority maintain these results  
for three to six months."  

Previous research has shown that 20 percent to 30 per-  
cent of young children have significant bedtime problems  
and/or night awakenings, Mindell said.  

The AASM offers some advice for parents to help their  
children sleep better:  

Follow a consistent bedtime routine. Set aside 10 to 30  
minutes each night to help your child get ready to go to  
sleep. Establish a relaxing setting at bedtime.  

Interact with your child at bedtime. Don't let the tele-  
vision, computer or video games take your place at that  
time.  

Don't let infants fall asleep while they're being held,  
rocked, fed a bottle, or while they're nursing.  

At bedtime, don't let your child have foods or drinks  
that contain caffeine. If possible, do not give  
children any medicines (such as decongestants and  
cough medicines) that contain stimulants to children  
at bedtime.  

Experts advise that children get the following amount  
of sleep: infants (3 to 11 months) -- 14 to 15 hours  
per night; toddlers -- 12 to 14 hours; preschoolers --  
11 to 13 hours; and school-age children -- 10 to 11  
hours.  

*****Fred.....The Ole Fritbear!!!*****
Ready or Not . . . here they come, a brand new collection of Grins, 
Giggles and Groaners. Sent your way just for the fun of it with hopes 
you get a few grins and maybe a hearty laff or 2
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A panhandler who was working Wall Street one day approached a 
dignified businessman and asked him for some money. The man replied, 
"I’m very sorry, but I never give money to people in the street." The 
panhandler replied, "What should I do? Come up to your office?"

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Evan nervously approached his girlfriend's father and said "Excuse 
me, Mr. Barkler, but there was something I wanted to ask you." "Well, 
of course, young man!" the proud father replied. "You have my full 
blessing. My daughter's happiness is all I want."

"Blessing, sir?" Evan stammered.

"Yes, of course. You want to marry my daughter, right?" Mr. Barkler 
said.

"Uh, no sir, that's not it." said Evan. "Actually, my car payment is 
due, and I'm a little short until payday, and I wanted to know if I 
could borrow two hundred dollars until Friday."

"Heck no!" yelled Mr. Barkler. "I hardly know you.

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One evening late in his life, the charming former senator Chauncey 
Depew found himself seated at a dinner party beside a young woman in 
a very low-cut, off-the-shoulder dress. Depew, peering at the woman's 
decolletage, leaned toward her. "My dear," he asked, "what is keeping 
that dress on you?" The woman's reply? "Only your age, Mr. Depew!"

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The most accurate computer ever made is the human digestive system. 
It never misses a calorie.

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Truth has to change hands only a few times to become fiction.

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Laura Bush bought "Dubyah" a parrot for his birthday. She told Dick 
Cheney, "The bird is so smart! George has already taught him to 
mispronounce over 200 words!"

"Wow, that's pretty impressive," Cheney said. "But you realize that 
he just 'says' the words. He doesn't understand what they mean."

"That's okay," Laura replied. "Neither does the parrot."

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Late Night Quips - "On this date in 1899 Thomas Edison showed the 
first motion picture. To give you an idea of the times, back then, 
large butter popcorn cost around $8." --Dave Letterman

"A group of students at Arizona State are being asked to change the 
name of their club, the Campus Caucasian Club to something else. They 
are going to rename it the golf team." --Conan O'Brien

"Wal-Mart plans to open 90 stores in China, one of which will be a 
superstore called the Great Wal-Mart of China." --Jay Leno

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More How to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace

- Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by 
these names. "That's a good point Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to 
have to disagree with you there, Chachi."

- Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.

- Include a piece of your children's artwork as a cover page for all 
reports that you write. (If you don't have children, draw stick 
figures yourself.)

- Schedule meetings for 4:14 pm.

- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized 
chair dancing.

- Agree to organize the company Christmas party. Hold it at 
McDonald's Playland. Charge everyone $15 each.

- Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them what you're 
doing. For example "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."

- No matter what anyone asks you, reply "Okay."

- Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."

- Plant a hedge around your cubicle.

- Build models of the Seven Wonders of the World using empty soda cans.

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The famously well-endowed Jayne Mansfield (whose studio chair on the 
set of Illegal simply read "40-21-35") often "accidentally" upstaged 
other actresses with her remarkable breasts. On one occasion, during 
a publicity shoot for Jane Russell's film Underwater, Mansfield 
"accidentally" fell into the pool. Sure enough, her swimsuit strap 
popped off and Mansfield resurfaced without her top.

On another occasion, Mansfield "bent over" at a Hollywood reception 
for Sophia Loren:

"One of her ample breasts tumbled out of her dress," Loren later 
recalled, "as photographers clicked away." Actor Clifton Webb was 
sitting beside Sophia when Jayne leaned in. "Please, Miss Mansfield," 
he wryly remarked, "we're wine drinkers at this table."

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"There is a wonderful story of Queen Victoria at Windsor," Prince 
Michael of Kent once told The Sunday Telegraph, "when she was sitting 
next to a deaf old admiral, who was telling an endless story of a 
battleship that had sunk and later been towed into Portsmouth. The 
Queen, anxious to change the subject, asked him about his sister. 
Mishearing her, he replied: 'I am going to have her turned over, take 
a good look at her bottom and have it scraped.' The Queen 'put down 
her knife and fork, hid her face in her handkerchief and shook and 
heaved with laughter until the tears rolled down her face.'"

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At Dyess Air Force Base, the Airman on the switchboard in the Comm 
Center answered the "Military Affiliated Radio System" (MARS) with: 
"MARS Station, Airman speaking." There was as a gasp on the other 
end, then a woman's voice said, "Good Heavens! I must have mis-
dialed. I didn't even know we had people stationed on Mars now 
anyway." And she hung up.

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The Navy Captain looked the crew over and said, "Men before anything 
more is said, I would like to clear up one thing. This isn't MY ship, 
this is YOUR ship." From deep in the ranks came a voice: "Great! Hey 
guys, let's sell the damn thing."
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Old Dr. Nessler still made house calls. One afternoon he was called 
to the Baker house. Mrs. Baker was in terrible pain.

The doctor came out of the bedroom a minute after he'd gone in and 
asked Mr. Baker, "Do you have a hammer?"

A puzzled Mr. Baker went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. 
The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom.

A moment later, he came out and asked, "Do you have a chisel?"

Mr. Baker complied with the request.

In the next ten minutes, Dr. Nessler asked for and received a pair of 
pliers, a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request got to Mr. 
Baker. He asked, "What are you doing to my wife?!?!"

"Not a thing," replied old Doc Nessler. "I can't get my black bag open!"

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A mouse climbed upon a peanut butter jar and started to dance on top 
of the lid. A second mouse saw him and asked, "Hey fellow, what are 
you doing up there?" The first mouse, still energetically shaking his 
tail, pointed to the lid, "It says right here, 'Twist to Open'!"
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After picking up my kindergartner today, I asked him. William were 
you good today? "Yeah Mom", he replied. I said, are you sure? "Yes 
mom, I'm sure." Well I hope you didn't make your teacher cry today, 
did you? Still trying to pick it out of him. I said, now you know 
that Jesus sees you if you're bad or not. Then he looked over at me 
and said, "Well let Jesus tell you if I was bad or not!!!"

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A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and hazy 
room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news: 
"There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt - prepare 
yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible 
death this year." Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's 
lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her 
hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had 
to know. She met the psychic's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked: 
"Will I be acquitted?"

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A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He 
talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance 
simply didn't improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just 
can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they 
take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a 
drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he 
can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him 
a conductor."
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A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a 
carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the 
matter with me?" he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

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FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES


A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help
me.

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can't figure out how to get it
started"

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all 
over the table. He
studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to 
her and
says,

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then." He sighed...............

"Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

**** Reader's Submissions ****
Tale of Six Boys

. My dad is on that statue, and I just wrote a book called "Flags of Our Fathers" which is #5 on the New York Times Best Seller list right now. It is the story of the six boys you see behind me.

"Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team. They were off to play another type of game. A game called "War." But it didn't turn out to be a game.

Harlon, at the age of 21, died with his intestines in his hands. I don't say that to gross you out, I say that because there are people who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were 17, 18, and 19 years old.

(He pointed to the statue) "You see this next guy? That's Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire . If you took Rene's helmet off at the moment this photo was taken and looked in the webbing of that helm et, you would find a photograph... a photograph of his girlfriend. Rene put that in there for protection because he was scared. He was 18 years old. Boys won the battle of Iwo Jima. Boys. Not old men.

"The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the "old man" because he was so old. He was already 24. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn't say, 'Let's go kill some Japanese' or 'Let's die for our country.' He knew he was talking to little boys. Instead he would say, 'You do what I say, and I'll get you home to your mothers.'

"The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona. Ira Hayes walked off Iwo Jima . He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, 'You're a hero.' He told reporters, 'How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only 27 of us walked off alive?' So you take your class at school, 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together. Then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only 27 of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes  died dead drunk, face down at the age of 32 .. ten years after this picture was taken.

"The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky. A fun-lovin' hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, 'Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn't get down. Then we fed them Epsom salts. Those cows crapped all night. Yes, he was a fun-lovin' hillbilly boy.  Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of 19. When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother's farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. The neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away.

"The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley from Antigo, Wisconsin, where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Cronkite's producers, or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say 'No, I'm sorry, sir, my dad's not here. He is in Canadafishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don't know when he is coming back. My dad never fished or even went to Canada. Usually, he was sitting there right at the table eating his Campbell's soup. But we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn't want to talk to the press.

"You see, my dad didn't see himself as a hero. Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, 'cause they are in a photo and on a monument. My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a caregiver. In Iwo Jima he probably held over 200 boys as they died. And when boys died in Iwo Jima, they writhed and screamed in pain.

"When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, 'I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. Did NOT come back.'"

"So that's the story about six nice young boys. Three died on Iwo Jima, and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7,000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time."

Suddenly, the monument wasn't just a big old piece of metal with a flag sticking out of the top. It came to life before our eyes with the heartfelt words of a son who did indeed have a father who was a hero. Maybe not a hero for the reasons most people would believe, but a hero nonetheless.

We need to remember that God created this vast and glorious world for us to live in, freely, but also at great sacrifice. Let us never forget from the Revolutionary War to the current War on Terrorism and all the wars in-between that sacrifice was made for our freedom. Remember to pray praises for this great country of ours and also pray for those still in murderous unrest around the world. STOP and thank God for being alive and being free at someone else's sacrifice.

God Bless You and God Bless America