Welcome New Subscribers
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

TGIF
FRIDAY DECEMBER 15,2006


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: I'm now old enough
to personally identify every object in antique stores.

Anyone who is under 30, and is not a liberal has no heart; and anyone who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
- Winston Churchill 
 

*What Luck!*

A guy is sitting at a bar just staring at the drink in front of him for morethan half an hour, when this big, burly trouble-making biker steps up next to him. The biker grabs the guy's drink and gulps it down in one big swig.

  The poor guy starts crying!
"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the biker. I'll buy you another drink. I promise! I just can't stand to see a grown man cry!"

"But, but, but, you just don't understand. This is the worse day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't seem to do anything right!  I overslept this morning and was late for an important meeting, so my boss got mad and fired me. Then, when I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have insurance to cover it. I had no way home, so I grabbed a taxi. Then, after the taxi left, I realized I'd left my wallet on the back seat. My wallet had all the money I had left in it! Then, when I walked into my house, what do I find? There was my wife in bed with
my best friend and next door neighbor! So I walked to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life and what happens? You have to show up and drink my glass of poison!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Catholic priest was driving on a busy street. He wasn't paying full attention to his driving and at an intersection bumped into the back of a car driven by a Protestant minister. As the two clergymen were looking over the damage, a police officer came up to them, asked a couple of questions, and then said to the priest in his broad Irish brogue, "So tell me, Father, how fast do you think the Good Reverend was goin' when he backed into you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3."

They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4."

"What do you think?" one asked the other.

The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. "Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A visiting minister was very long-winded. Worse, every time he would make a good point during his sermon and a member of the congregation responded with "Amen" or "That's right, preacher" he would get wound up even more and launch into another lengthy discourse. Finally, the host pastor started responding to every few sentences with "Amen, Pharaoh!" The guest minister wasn't sure what that meant, but after several more "Amen, Pharaohs" he finally concluded his very lengthy sermon.

After the service concluded and the congregation had left, the visiting minister turned to his host and asked, "What exactly did you mean when you said "Amen, Pharaoh?"

His host replied, "I was telling you to let my people go!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our Army physical-training program requires us to run two miles every other day in platoon formation. Being somewhat older than the other soldiers, I have trouble running faster than a ten-minute mile.

During a recent run, I was finding it difficult to complete the two miles without stopping, so I raised my hands high above my head to expand my diaphragm and gain my second wind.

Suddenly I heard a voice from behind me say, "Forget it, sergeant, we don't take prisoners."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the taillight on my car burned out, I stopped at a gas station. It was Friday, business was brisk, and only two teenage boys were working. One removed the old bulb and went to find a replacement. No sooner had he returned than he had to go and serve a car at the gas pumps.

A minute later the second young man, who had just finished with a customer, came over and screwed the bulb in. Just then a tanker truck came tearing up, its horn blaring. The young man began replacing the cover but kept looking anxiously over his shoulder at the truck. "Go ahead," I said, "I'll finish this up." He ran to buy something to eat, and I took over.

The first teenager returned and saw me at work. "When they ask you how many it takes to change a light bulb," he commented, "you can tell them that here it takes three."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My husband Nate had just bought his dream car, a 1977 red Corvette. From the minute he brought it home, he was either cleaning the interior or polishing the exterior. Then he had the undercarriage oil-sprayed and put an old green blanket on the garage floor under the car to catch any oil drips.

When our son came home from college, Nate showed him his new purchase, and they went for a spin. He explained that the Corvette's smooth, sleek design attracts much attention. Sure enough, the occupants in the first car that passed them stared. As they continued on their route, they kept getting looks from pedestrians and drivers alike. Al was impressed, and Nate was delighted at everyone's reaction to his prized possession.

When they pulled into a parking lot, a man in a parked car stared at them before he got out of his car and walked towards them. Nate lowered the window to better hear the man's compliments about the car. "Do you know you're dragging a large green blanket behind your car?" the fellow asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is an old, old one, but still one of my favorites...]  

A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will  
be the first in their family to go to college. So he and the  
wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes  
for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest  
he's ever been.  

After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas  
break and the old man sits him down for a talk. "Well, boy,  
you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell  
me some of that fancy book learnin'."  

So junior says, "My favorite class is math, pa. Just last  
week we learned a new formula...Pi r squared."  

At hearing this the old man screws up his eyes and smacks his  
forehead, "Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on schooling  
and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why everybody know  
pie are round...CORNBREAD are squared!" 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was recently talking with a friend who bemoaned her family's lack
of holiday rituals. "My family doesn't have any traditions," she
complained. "We just do the same thing year after year after year."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The scene: After Groucho Marx has crossed out most of the sections
of a proposed contract, ...

Groucho: "party of the first part, nah, we don't need that."

Chico: "And what's a that."

Groucho: "Oh, that's a standard clause. We need this one. It says
that if one of the parties isn't legally sane, then the contract
is void. It's the sanity clause."

Chico: "Ahh, you canna foola me. ... I know there's no sanity
clause!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Sir,

My name is Al Key Hada and since 9-11, my life has been hell.
I work in a
transmission shop in southern Arkansas and make about 8
dollars and hour. I called the local airline and when I
tried to make a  reservation, they wouldn't do it.
They asked me, "Are you really Al Key Hada?

"Yep, that's me born and bred Al Key Hada" I responded.

Thirty minutes later the FBI, CIA, the local police, INS, and the
Arkansas
state Police Showed up at my house, searched me, my home and
impounded my
collection of cherry bombs and m-80's. They took me in,
fingerprinted me and took photos of me. Heck they didn't
even give me a copy of the photo!

They asked me why I wanted to fly to New York City. I told them
I was
supposed to visit my uncle Sam Laden. He is old, about 92 years
old and his middle name is Ben.
We call him 'Ole Sam Ben Laden. When I told them that Ole Sam Ben
Laden is in New York, they just about had a cow.

After they feed me a moonpie and an RC cola, I told them my son was
going to
go with me. They asked me if he was Al Key Hada? I said, "Yep, he
is Al Key Hada jr" He works in the local garment plant and tears
up old garments. He is a tearist.
The FBI just about had kittens when I mentioned he was a tearist.

So please, after you read this letter do what you can to free
my family.

Regards, Al Key Hada, and Al Key Hada Jr for 'Ole Sam Ben Laden
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Health activists are putting an initiative on the
California ballot to raise the price of cigarettes to
$6.00 a pack.

So not only is the cost of living going up, so is the
cost of dying. - Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah-hh, College Life

A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the
lecture hall each morning, removing a tennis ball from his jacket
pocket. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the
lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball,
place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever
understood why he did this, until one day. . ..

A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor never missed
a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up
the tennis ball and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely
on the top of the head.

The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his
jacket, removed a baseball. . . No one ever fell asleep in his class
the rest of the semester!

**** Quickies ****

My wife's TV dinners melt in your mouth. I wish she'd defrost them first
 

Making mistakes isn't stupid; disregarding them is.

The finalist has been named in the worldwide search for the perfect man.

After careful consideration and endless debate, The Perfect Man has been named....MR. POTATO HEAD.

He's tan. He's cute. He knows the importance of accessorizing.

And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face.

"Half of American consumers are buying gift cards this  
Christmas. The other half are women." --Jay Leno   

     
"Mel Gibson's 'Apocalypto' is a big hit. The movie is in  
ancient Mayan. If I want to see a movie that is in an  
incomprehensible language I'll just go see 'Rocky'."  
 --Dave Letterman  

"Kevin Federline might be competing in an upcoming pro-  
wrestling event. I never thought I would ever say this,  
but I expected better out of pro-wrestling."  
 --Conan O'Brien 

 

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**** HEALTH NEWS ****

    New osteoporosis treatments possible  

PHILADELPHIA, -- U.S. researchers have found by targeting  
the function of a single gene, it is possible to inhibit  
bone decay while simultaneously stimulating bone formation.  
The scientists at the University of Pennsylvania's School  
of Medicine say that concept might lead to drug treatments  
for osteoporosis and other bone diseases. The main chal-  
lenge is how to prevent bone decay while also encouraging  
bone growth," said senior author Yongwon Choi, a professor  
of pathology and laboratory medicine. "Our discovery proves  
that inhibiting osteoclasts, while simultaneously stimulat-  
ing new bone formation can be done." Most drugs that treat  
osteoporosis inhibit osteoclasts, which cause bone decay.  
But there is also at least one that stimulates osteoblasts,  
enhancing bone formation. The researchers say a combined  
treatment will not only prevent the occurrence of osteo-  
porosis, but also make the quality of bone even better.  
The scientists say their findings might provide some in-  
sight into the regulation of bone metabolism and show  
targeting the function of a single gene could inhibit  
bone decay while stimulating bone formation. Choi and  
colleagues report their findings in the December issue  
of the journal Nature Medicine.   

Psych stress can worsen skin disorders  

SAN FRANCISCO, -- U.S. scientists have found inhibiting  
glucocorticoid, a type of steroid, can prevent skin  
abnormalities induced by psychological stress. The study,  
conducted by researchers from the Veterans Affairs  
Medical Center in San Francisco and the University of  
California-San Francisco, also showed how psychological  
stress induces skin abnormalities that could initiate or  
worsen skin disorders such as psoriasis and atopic derm-  
atitis. Previous research has shown psychological stress  
increases glucocorticoid production. In addition, it is  
well recognized psychological stress adversely affects  
many skin disorders, including psoriasis and atopic  
dermatitis. "In this study, we showed that the increase  
in glucocorticoids induced by psychological stress  
induces abnormalities in skin structure and function,  
which could exacerbate skin diseases," Kenneth Feingold,  
one of the researchers, explained, noting the finding  
provides a link for understanding how psychological  
stress can adversely affect skin disorders. Blocking the  
production or action of glucocorticoids prevented the  
skin abnormalities induced by psychological stress, he  
said. The study appears in the December issue of the  
American Journal of Physiology-Regulatory, Integrative  
and Comparative Physiology.   


Experimental drugs may be more available  

WASHINGTON, -- The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is  
proposing making experimental drugs more easily available  
to seriously ill people with no other treatment options.  
The FDA said it also is proposing clarifying the circum-  
stances and the costs for which a manufacturer can charge  
for an experimental drug. Under the proposed rule, expand-  
ed access for experimental drugs would be available to  
individual patients, small patient groups, and larger pop-  
ulations under a treatment plan when there is no satis-  
factory alternative therapy to diagnose, monitor or treat  
the disease or condition. "This proposed reform is care-  
fully designed to balance several objectives," Acting FDA  
Commissioner Dr. Andrew von Eschenbach said. "One goal is  
to enable many more patients who lack satisfactory alter-  
natives to have access to unapproved medicines, while  
balancing the need for safeguarding the individual  
patient. Another equally important goal is to ensure the  
continued integrity of the scientific process that brings  
safe and effective drugs to the market." The proposals,  
open for comment for 90 days, are described at:  
http://www.fda.gov/cder/regulatory/applications/IND_PR.htm.  

**** Reader's Submissions ****

 SUNRISE IN A CEMETERY

By: Joseph J. Mazzella

     One of the best things about Wintertime is that you can sleep in and still be up in time to watch the sunrise. That is just what I did this morning. I stood outside in the cold, quiet, and peaceful air and watched the beauty of God’s creation appear over the mountaintops. It was such a glorious sight. I stood there and saw the red clouds change to pink then purple and then yellow.  I looked down on the snowy ground and watched it sparkle with joy in the morning sun. I breathed in deep and smiled. I could feel the love of God all around me and even though it was way below freezing I still felt warm inside.

     The writer Robert Fulghum once quoted a great piece of advice given to a friend of his. It was to "Spend one hour some Sunday watching the sunrise while walking in a cemetery." Since I have a cemetery next to my backyard I decided to follow this advice myself today. Watching the sunshine glistening off the gravestones quickly put everything in perspective for me. I realized that like my quiet neighbors one day my body was going to be in the ground somewhere and that this beautiful world was going to keep going right on without me. I saw too that if I was going to live then I needed to live now and that if I was going to love then I needed to love today.

     God only gives us so many days here on Earth. It is up to us to make them count. Don’t wait until you are six feet underground to watch the sun come up. Get out there and watch the sunrise today. Don’t wait until you are on your deathbed to tell people how much you love them. Tell them today. Don’t wait until you can no longer lift your arms to hug someone. Hug them today.  Don’t wait in a box until six people carry you out in a box. Break out of your box today. Don’t keep waiting for the world to change until you are no longer a part of it. Change your world today. Choose love, share joy, and help God to make this world a better place today and forever.


On Christmas Eve, a young boy with light in his eyes
Looked deep into Santa's, to Santa's surprise
And said as he sat on Santa's broad knee,
 
"I want your secret. Tell it to me."
He leaned up and whispered in Santa's good ear
"How do you do it year after year?" 
 
"I want to know how, as you travel about,
Giving gifts here and there, you never run out.
How is it Dear Santa, that in your pack of toys
 
You have plenty for all of the world's girls and boys?
Stays so full, never empties, as you make your way
>From rooftop to rooftop, to homes large and small,
>From nation to nation, reaching them all?" 
  
And Santa smiled kindly and said to the boy,
"Don't ask me hard questions. Don't you want a toy?"
But the child shook his head, and Santa could see
 
That he needed the answer. "Now listen to me,"
He told that small boy with the light in his eyes,
"My secret will make you sadder and wise. 
 
"The truth is that my sack is magic inside
It holds millions of toys for my Christmas Eve ride.
But although I do visit each girl and each boy
 
I don't always leave them a gaily wrapped toy
Some homes are hungry, some homes are sad,
Some homes are desperate, some homes are bad. 
  
Some homes are broken, and the children there grieve.
Those homes I visit, but what should I leave?
"My sleigh is filled with the happiest stuff,
 
But for homes where despair lives toys aren't enough.
So I tiptoe in, kiss each girl and boy,
And I pray with them that they'll be given the joy 
 
Of the spirit of Christmas, the spirit that lives
In the heart of the dear child who gets not, but gives.
"If only God hears me and answers my prayer,
 
When I visit next year, what I will find there
Are homes filled with peace, and with giving, and love
And boys and girls gifted with light from above. 
  
It's a very hard task, my smart little brother,
to give toys to some, and to give prayers to others.
But the prayers are the best gifts, the best gifts indeed,
 
For God has a way of meeting each need.
"That's part of the answer. The rest, my dear youth,
is that my sack is magic. And that is the truth. 
 
In my sack I carry on Christmas Eve Day
More love than a Santa could e'er give away.
The sack never empties of love, or of joys
 
Cause inside it are prayers, and hope. Not just toys
The more that I give, the fuller it seems,
Because giving is my way of fulfilling dreams. 
  
"And do you know something? You've got a sack, too.
It's as magic as mine, and it's inside of you.
It never gets empty, it's full from the start.
It's the center of lights, and love. It's your heart
 
And if on this Christmas you want to help me,
Don't be so concerned with the gifts 'neath your tree.
Open that sack called your heart and share
Your joy, your friendship, your wealth, your care." 
 
 The light in the small boy's eyes was glowing.
"Thanks for your secret. I've got to be going."
"Wait, little boy," Said Santa, "don't go.
 
Will you share? Will you help? Will you use what you know?"
And just for a moment the small boy stood still,
Touched his heart with his small hand and whispered, "I will."



**** ON THIS DAY ****

MAIL CALL by Roger Dean Kiser      "OK men, listen up!  I want each of you to sit down this evening and write a letter home.  I know that each of you will be telling your family how much you love the United States Army.  Is that fully understood?" said Sergeant O'Rouke, the leader of our squad.      "YES SIR!" screamed the entire platoon of men.      "DISMISSED!" he screamed out loud.      There were soldiers running in every direction heading back to their individual barracks.      I was fifteen years old and this was my third week of basic training at Fort Gordon, Georgia.  I generally stayed in the barracks when "mail call" was announced.  Why would I go running like a maniac when the mail arrived?  I mean, I didn't have a family and I was very sure that the orphanage in Jacksonville, Florida, was not going to be sending me any good will wishes.      I would sit on my bunk and shine my boots trying not to notice the commotion when the other men would receive handfuls of mail and packages from home.  I do have to admit that it bothered me a little bit when I would see them eating cookies which their parents had sent them.  But, there was nothing that I could do, so I just tried not to think about it much.      After showering I dressed and headed over to the PX Store.  I purchased a coke and a package of cheese crackers and I sat down at one of the small tables.  As I finished my Coca-Cola, I started to get up from the table when Sergeant O'Rouke came walking into the PX.      "What are you doing in here soldier?" screamed the Sergeant.      "I was drinking a Coke," I told him.      "Hit the deck and give me twenty-five!" he ordered.      I hit the floor and started counting out the push-ups, as I performed them.      "Why aren't you in the barracks writing to your family as I instructed?" he yelled at me.      "I don't have a family, Sir," I said as I continued to do my push-ups.      "I don't give a rats tail if you have a family or not.  I told you to write home," he said.      "But I don't have a home, Sir," I told him again.      "Then where the hell did you come here from, soldier?" he questioned.      "I came from the orphanage, Sir," I said.      "You get your butt back over to the barracks, right now.  You write me a letter and you bring it to me!" he screamed out at me.      "But who do I write it too?" I asked.      "I don't give a darn if you write to Santa Claus.  You write a letter and you have it to me by 1800 hours."      "Yes Sir!" I said, as I got up off the floor.      I walked back to my barracks and I borrowed a tablet and a pencil from one of the men in my squad.  I sat down on my bunk and I wrote the following letter:           Dear Santa Claus,           I am now living at Fort Gordon.  I am in the Army now.           The Army is my new home.  I am learning a lot about           how to win a war.  I can shoot and I can run real fast.           I am making my very own money and I am going to be           a real soldier someday.             Roger Dean Kiser      I took the letter and I placed it in an envelope and I sealed it.  I walked over to the Orderly Room and I asked to see the Sergeant.  I was told that he was not in the office and that I should place the letter on his desk.  I placed the sealed envelope on the corner of his desk and I returned to my barracks.      At nine o'clock, the lights were turned out and everyone went to bed. I thought about how hard life was in the Army.  I said a prayer asking God to help me keep up with all the other men as we trained.      Just as I was about to fall asleep the lights came on.      "Where is that little piece of crap?" asked Sergeant O'Rouke, as he came walking between the bunks.      I sat up in my bed and I watched the Sergeant as he stomped down the aisle and stopped at the foot of my bunk.  The other men also sat up but remained perfectly quiet.      "What is this crap?" asked the Sergeant, as he shook the letter that I had written.      "It's the letter that you told me to write."      "Read this letter out loud," he instructed, as he threw the letter on my bed.      Slowly, I picked up the letter and I began to read it.      The entire barracks began to laugh and whistle as loud as they could.      "SHUT UP!" yelled Sergeant O'Rouke.  The barracks became perfectly quiet.  "You think I'm an idiot?" asked the Sergeant.      "No Sir, Sergeant O'Rouke, Sir," I told him.  The large man reached down and he grabbed my foot-locker and he turned it upside down.  The contents spilled all over the floor.      "But I only wrote what you told me to write," I said to him.      "I told you to write home," he said.      "No Sir, Sergeant.  I told you that I didn't have no family and you told me to write to Santa Claus.  That's why I don't get no mail here 'cause I don't got no home," I said.      All the men in the barracks began to look at one another.  One of the men sitting on the side of his bed began to laugh.  "Santa Clause?" he said as he laughed out loud.  Everyone began to stare at him and he stopped laughing.      "Clean up this mess and report to me in the morning!" the Sergeant yelled.  As the Sergeant left the barracks he turned out the light leaving me to pack my foot-locker in the dark.      About a week later I was shocked to hear my name called out for mail call.      "KISER!  KISER!  KISER!" yelled out the man, as he sat three packages aside.      Over the next three weeks, I received seven more packages of cookies, and hard candy in the mail.      I never knew who they came from.  There was no return address on the packages.  I could only guess that they came from some of the families of the men in my platoon.  Maybe even from Sergeant O'Rouke himself.      That night, after sharing the cookies and candy with all the other men, I laid in my bunk bed and smiled.  At that moment in time, all I knew for sure was that the world was a wonderful place.          -- Roger Dean Kiser

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
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Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!
 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-15-

A. P. Carter born Maces Springs, VA 1891.

Nudie the Tailor, born Kiev, Ukraine 1902.

Kenneth Pitts, fiddler, born in Arizona 1913.

Lynn Davis, singer, guitarist, born Johnson County, KY 1914. Lynn Davis and Molly O'Day were married in 1941.

Red River Dave, singer/songwriter/ born Dave McEnery in San Antonio, TX 1914.

Mitchell Burt Lilly, of "The Lilly Brothers" born Clear Creek, WV 1921.

Ernie Ashworth, a.k.a. "Billy Worth," singer/songwriter, born Huntsville, AL 1928. Member Grand Ole Opry.

Jerry Wallace born Guilford, MO 1928.

Hank Williams, age 19, and Audrey Sheppard Guy, were married in a gas station in Andalusia, AL in 1944.

Randy Parton born Sevierville, TN 1955.

The Everly Brothers recorded "Let It Be Me" 1959.

Skeeter Davis was fired from the Opry in 1973. Davis expressed her rage, and editorialized to the Opry radio audience, her support for the protesters she observed being arrested on her way to the Ryman Auditorium earlier that evening. She was reinstated as an Opry member eighteen months later.

Joey Castle, a.k.a. Cliff Rivers, Rockabilly vocals, died of cancer 1978.

Alan Jackson married wife Denise in Newnan, GA 1979. After a brief separation and reconciliation in 1998, they renewed their vows on their nineteenth anniversary, on December 15^th.

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton released a holiday duet album, "Once Upon a Christmas," 1984.

Tiny Moore, age 67, died 1987.

Shell Point released Larry Cordle's album "Murder on Music Row" 1999.

Garth Brooks on the Crook & Chase show on TNN, announced he would retire the following year in 2000.

David Ball's "Riding With Private Malone" debuted on Billboard's Top 40 Chart 2001.

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Kellie Pickler to Appear on Tonight Show, Ellen  

Kellie Pickler will appear on The Tonight Show With Jay  
Leno and The Ellen Degeneres Show this week. As a  
correspondent for The Tonight Show, she visited several  
locations in Manhattan, including Chinatown, Rockefeller  
Center and took her first subway ride. The segment will  
air Thursday (Dec. 14). She will perform "Red High Heels"  
on Ellen on Friday (Dec. 15), with a special gift for the  
sneaker-wearing host. Pickler's album, Small Town Girl,  
is nearing gold status.   

 



**** Amy's Kitchen ****  

BREAD PUDDING W/ RUM RAISIN SAUCE   


INGREDIENTS:  
1/2 cups 2% low-fat milk  
1/2 cup raisins  
1/2 cup packed brown sugar  
1/3 cup granulated sugar  
1 teaspoon vanilla extract  
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon  
3 large egg whites  
1 large egg  
1 (12 ounce) can evaporated skim milk  
10 (3/4-inch) slices French bread, cur into cubes  
Cooking spray  
Rum Sauce - see below  


DIRECTIONS:  
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine first 9 ingredients  
in a large bowl and stir well. Add bread and toss gently.  
Let mixture stand for 1 hour. Spoon mixture into a 10 x 7  
inch baking dish coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350  
degrees for 35 minutes o until pudding is set. Serve  
pudding warm or at room temperature with Rum Sauce.  

RUM SAUCE  
1/2 cup sugar  
2 tablespoons reduced-calorie stick margarine  
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour  
1 cup 2% low-fat milk  
3 tablespoons dark rum  

Combine sugar and margarine in a saucepan an place over  
medium heat, cooking until margarine melts.  Add flour and  
cook for 1 minute, stirring constantly with a whisk.  
Gradually add low-fat milk and cook for 4 minutes or until  
thick, stirring constantly with a whisk.  Remove from heat  
and stir in Rum.  Serve warm over bread pudding.  (it wouldn’t  
be good to overdo it on the Rum- kills the entire dessert so  
don’t be too generous here)  

Yield: 10 servings each with 2 tablespoons of sauce  


HOT SPICED COCOA

2-1/4 C. non-fat dry milk
1/2 C. unsweetened cocoa
1/4 C. Sugar replacement
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg

Mix and store in covered jar. 2 tsps. to 1 cup hot water. makes 13
cups...
30 calories per cup.
Margaret, Tulsa

Diabetic Fudge Recipe

1 14 1/2 oz. evaporated milk
3 tbsp cocoa
1/4 cup oleo
Liquid Sweetner to equal 1/2 cup sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
2 1/2 cup graham cracker crumbs
1/4 cup nuts
Preparation:
Combine milk and cocoa in saucepan. Beat well. Add oleo, sweetner, salt.
Bring to boil. Remove from heat. Stir in remaining ingredients except
1/4
cup graham crackers. Cool about 15 minutes. Divide mixture into 32
balls.
Roll in remaining cracker crumbs and chill.


**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

What makes straight hair curly?

When you curl your hair, whether in a perm or a wet-set, you change the chemical bonds that hold together the protein fibers on the coiled strand of each hair's cortex. In a wet set you change hydrogen bonds; a permanent wave breaks the disulfide bonds.



****A PARTING THOUGHT ****

Man blames fate for other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one!


LAST CALL Y'ALL

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
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Hey, Let's be careful out there
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