From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.

Welcome to The Funnies

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair almost anything.

Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 27,2006

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Work 8 hours; sleep 8 hours,
but not the same 8 hours

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.

A Place in Paradise

On Christmas Eve, a rich man sells his place in heaven to a poor man to make a profit. But the joke's on him...
By Paulo Coelho, based on a Hasidic tale by David Mandel

Instead of giving him money, the priest merely remarked:

'God never closes a door without opening a window. Your money will buy you almost nothing, so go to the market and buy the first thing you're offered. I will bless that purchase and, since Christmas is the time for miracles, something will happen that will change your life for ever.'

The man wasn't entirely convinced that this was the best solution, but he went to the market anyway. One of the traders saw him wandering aimlessly about and asked what he was looking for.

'I don't know. I don't have much money, but the priest told me that I should buy the first thing I was offered.'

The trader was very rich, but even so he never let slip an opportunity to make a profit, however small. He took the man's few coins and in exchange gave him a note scribbled on a piece of paper.

'The priest was quite right. Now I've always had a kind heart, and so, on this festive day, I'm selling you my place in Paradise. Here are the deeds!'

The other man took the piece of paper and moved off, while the trader glowed with pride at having closed yet another excellent deal. That night, while he was preparing for supper in his house full of servants, he told the story to his wife, adding that it was thanks to such quick thinking that he had become as rich as he was.

'That's shameful!' said his wife. 'Fancy behaving like that on the day Jesus was born! Go straight to that man's house and get the piece of paper back, or you'll never set foot in this house again!'

Alarmed by his wife's anger, the trader decided to do as she said. After much asking around, he managed to find out where the man lived. When he went in, he found the couple sitting at a table that was completely bare apart from the piece of paper.

'I've come because what I did was wrong,' the trader said.'Here's your money. Now give me back what I sold you.'

'You did nothing wrong,' replied the man.'I followed the priest's advice and I know that what I bought from you is blessed.'

'But it's just a piece of paper. Besides, no one can sell someone else their place in Paradise. If you like, I'll give you double what you paid for it.'

However, because he believed in miracles, the poor man refused to sell. The trader gradually increased his offer, until he reached the sum of ten gold coins.

'That's no good to me,' said the man. 'In order to give my wife the life she deserves, I need one hundred gold coins. That is the miracle I'm waiting for this Christmas Eve.'

In despair and knowing that if he lingered any longer, no one in his own house would have supper or go to midnight mass, the trader ended up paying one hundred gold coins to get the piece of paper back. As far as the couple were concerned, the miracle had happened. As for the trader, he had done as his wife had asked. His wife, though, was filled with doubt. Had she been too hard on her husband?

As soon as midnight Mass was over, she went to the priest and told him the story.

'Father, my husband met a man who said that you had told him to go to the market and buy the first thing he was offered. My husband, seeing a chance to earn some easy money, wrote him a note on a piece of paper, selling him his place in Paradise. I told my husband that he wouldn't eat in our house tonight if he didn't get that piece of paper back, and he ended up having to pay one hundred gold coins for it. Did I go too far? Could a place in Paradise really cost that much?'

'Firstly, your husband was able to show great generosity on this, the most important day in the Christian calendar. Secondly, he became the instrument of God through whom a miracle was performed. But to answer your question: when he sold his place in heaven for a few pennies, it wasn't even worth that much; however, when he bought it back for one hundred gold coins simply to make his wife happy, that, I can assure you, made it worth much much more.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A kindly 90-year-old grandmother found buying presents for family and friends a bit much one Christmas, so she wrote out checks for all of them to put in their Christmas cards.
    In each card she wrote, "Buy your own present" and then sent them off with the checks.
    But she intentionally enclosed the checks of one to the other! As soon as they received the Christamas cards and found that their check was not enclosed but some one else`s, they called their grandmother. She told them that she must have made a mistake and asked them to call others. Grandmother`s ploy worked and they were calling each other and talking to each other affectionately-after a long time.
-Malladi Venkata Krishnamurthy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a young man came up to my window at the bank and whispered, "Please deposit this hundred dollars in my savings account."

I handled the transaction and whispered back, "Have a good day." He started to leave but changed his mind. "I'm sorry we have to whisper," he said, "but if my car knows I've deposited money, it'll break down again." With his finger to his lips he tip-toed out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Running a farm and managing the accounting firm where he worked had kept my brother Don so busy he hadn't had much time to relax with his family. Just before his birthday, he dropped a hint that if he had cross-country skis, he'd be able to spend more time with his family and get exercise as well. On his birthday Don learned that they hadn't missed his hint. He unwrapped the very same skis his family had given him the year before.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I discovered my television set wasn't working-no matter what I tried, there was no sound. I called the repair shop, and two fellows arrived with a replacement TV. Before they left, one of them checked my set, and immediately there was sound. Amazed, I asked, "What did you do to fix it?"

"Turned off the mute button," he replied
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a warm, sunny day and my four-year-old son stood looking out the window. Outside, our dog was lying in the shadow of some brush looking at people passing by, breathing hard, her tongue lolling out of her mouth." Mommy," Martin asked, "why does Molly laugh at everybody all the time?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We were on vacation at my parents place in Florida, glad to be away from the bitter Montana winter. Our two daughters, in their early teens, were demanding of everyone's time and attention. When it was suggested we go to the shopping mall, everybody but my wife was enthusiastic. Marlene begged off, insisting she wanted to get some baking done that afternoon. We found out later, in the absence of any new cookies or cakes, that what she had meant was indeed "baking," alone, in the 80 degree sunshine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Has your husband lived up to all the things he said before you were married?"

"No, He's only lived up to one of them."

"Which one was that?"

"He said he wasn't good enough for me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young actress was once invited by Ethel Barrymore to dinner - and not only failed to appear but neglected to apologize or account for her absence. A few days later, the two women unexpectedly met at the Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) in New York. "I think I was invited to your house to dinner last Thursday night," the young woman began. "Oh, yes?" Barrymore replied. "Did you come?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lost Cookies

After a long, bumpy flight, our passengers were glad to finally land.

They disembarked, and the other attendants and I checked for items left behind.

In a seat pocket, I found a bag of home-made cookies with a note saying, "Much love, Mom."

Quickly, I gave the bag to our gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner.

A few minutes later, an announcement came over the public-address system in the concourse: "Would the passenger who lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An African chieftain flew to the United States to visit the
president. When he arrived at the airport, a host of newsmen
and television cameramen met him. One of the reporters asked
the chief if he had a comfortable flight.

The chief made a series of weird noises: "Screech, scratch,
honk, buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z..." Then he added in perfect
English, "Yes, I had a very nice flight."

Another reporter asked, "Chief, do you plan to visit the
Washington Monument while you're in the area?"

The chief made the same noises: "Screech, scratch, honk,
buzz, whistle, z-z-z-z..." Then he said, "Yes, and I also
plan to visit the White House and the Capitol Building."

"Where did you learn to speak such flawless English?" asked
the next reporter.

The chief replied, "Screech, scratch, honk, buzz, whistle,
z-z-z-z... From the short-wave radio."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The husband got out of bed and went into the living room
to answer the phone. His wife could hear him say, "Hello?"
Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went
back to bed.

A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out
of bed and went into the other room and his wife could
hear him say, "Hello?" again and then he said, "Sure is." again. He hung
up the receiver and went back to bed.

The wife asked who it was. The man said he didn't know.

A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out
of bed and went into the other room and his wife could
hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is." He hung
up the receiver and went back to bed.

The wife asked again about the caller. The man said he
didn't know who it was. The wife then asked, "Well, what
did the person say? He said, "It's odd, a woman just
keeps saying, "Long distance from Chicago."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the
same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70.
They rode on the elevator together at the end of an
unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was
completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that
his senior was fresh as a daisy.

"I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining
patients from morning till night, on a day like this, and still look so
spry and unbothered when it's over?"

The older analyst replied, "Who listens?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up.
She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and
you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds
down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the
trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says
brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street.

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next
light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and
runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it,
he says...

"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT
TRUCK!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Selling It

When the salesman of the year was asked his secret to success, he gave a
shrug. "There's the usual, know your product, make lots of calls, never
take 'no' for an answer.
-
But frankly, I owe my success to consistently missing a three-foot putt
by
about two inches."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Old Fav

Three guys were having a beer in the local pub and discussing the amount
of control they have over their wives, Two were quite vocal while the
third remained quiet.
-
After a while one of the two turns to the quiet one and says, "What
about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
-
The third gent says, "Well just the other night my wife came to me on
her hands and knees."
-
The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.
-
The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed, and mumbled,
-
"She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced
that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I
wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to
hearing them. The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the
church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them. "This is
our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and always looking for
the key."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gassed

A friend of mine is notorious for always waiting until the needle on
ther gas gauge is on empty before filling his gas tank.
-
As usual, his car died on him, and we had to push it to the nearest
filling station on a particularly hot day.
-
After my friend finished pumping gas, one of the guys asked him if he'd
learned anything.
-
"Yeah," my friend muttered.
"I've learned I only have a 15-gallon tank!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dewayne, his wife, and Dewayne's mother-in-law went camping over the 4th
of July weekend. Dewayne's wife announced that her mother had been gone
from her stroll in the woods way too long.

So the two of them went looking for her.

After a while they spotted a gigantic, ferocious grizzly bear squared
off with the mother-in-law!

Immediately her daughter said to her husband, in a frantic voice,
"Dewayne you got'ta do something, or there's gonna be blood shed fer
sure!"

Dewayne calmly said, "Now look, honey, the bear got himself into it..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First you must learn to pronounce
da city name.

It is Chi-ca-go, or Cha-ca-ga
depending on if you live Nort
or Sout of Roosevelt Rd.

(We all know dat the Nort side
is for "normal" people...
cross dat line to the Sout
and yous is in da Twilight Zone
back in da 50's where dere's
a bowling alley on every corner.)

Next, if your road map is more den
a few weeks old, trow it out,
and buy a new one.

If in Naperville
and your map is one day old,
den it is already obsolete.

Forget the traffic rules you learned
elsewhere. Chicago has its own version
of traffic rules...

"Close yer eyes, hit da gas, and pray!"
Dere is no such ting as a dangerous
high-speed chase in Chicago
We all drive like dat!

All directions start wit, "Get on I-94"
which has no beginning and no end.

Da morning rush hour is from Midnight
to Noon.

Da evening rush hour is from Noon
to Midnight.

Da weekend rush hour starts on
Tursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light,
you will be rear ended, or possibly shot.

When you are da first one on the starting
line, count to five when da light turns
green before going to avoid crashing into
all da drivers running the red light
in cross-traffic.

Construction on da Nortwest Tollway
is a way of life and a permanent form
of entertainment. We had sooooo much fun
wit dat we have added 294, Elgin - O'Hare
and I-355 to da mix.

All unexplained sights are explained by
da phrase, "Oh, we must be in Cicero!"

If someone actually has dere turn signal on,
it is probably a factory defect on dere
vehicle.

Car horns are actually da native language.
Dey are also used by cabbies behind you
to let you know dat da light will turn green
in 5 seconds.

If asking directions in Cicero you must
speak Spanish.

If in Bridgeport, Mandarin Chinese will be
your best bet.

If you stop to ask directions on da West
or Sout side you will need to know Eubonics,
have a det wish, or you are wearing a
bullet-proof vest.

A trip across town (East to West) will take
a minimum of four hours, although many Nort/Sout
streets have unposted minimum speeds of 75 mph.

The minimum acceptable speed on da Dan Ryan
is 95, especially if youse is drivin a 10 ton
waste hauler wit bald tires, no tarp,
and no mud flaps.

The wrought iron bars on windows near Englewood,
and Austin are NOT for ornamental purposes!

The Congress expressway is our daily version
of NASCAR.

The Dan Ryan is called "The Death Trap"
for two reasons: Which of dose 2 words
don't you unnerstan?

It is highly advisable not to try to pet
or feed dose packs of wild dogs roaming
on da shoder uh da road.

If it's 100 degrees, it's da Taste Of Chicago.

If it's 10 below and snowing, it's opening day
at Sox Park.

If it's rained 6 inches in da last hour,
den da Western open Golf Classic is in
da second round.

If you go to Wrigley Field, pay the $25.00
to park in "Cubs Lot". Parking elsewhere
could cost up to $2500 for damages,
towing fees, tickets, etc.

If some guy wit a flag tries to get you
to park in his "yard", run him over.

And da most important ting to remember
is dis...
If you park on a side street side where
someone has blocked off a parking space
wit a broom and a kitchen chair...
You WILL be killed!!!

Welcome to Chicago!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ice Fishing Story ...

Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a Presidential election that
was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate
nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the
election.

Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest
between the two candidates to determine the final winner. There was much
talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long
ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle things.

The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.
After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the
contest would take place on a remote and cold lake in Wisconsin. There
were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out
separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for
counting and verification.

At the end of the first day, George W. returns to the starting line
and he has 10 fish. Soon, Al Gore returns and has zero fish. Well,
everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something and
hopefully, he will catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day George W. comes in with 20 fish and Al Gore
comes in again with none.

That evening, Bill Clinton gets together secretly with Al and says, "Al,
I think George W. is a low-life cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to
go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and
see if he is cheating in any way.

The next night (after George W.comes back with 50 fish),
Bill Clinton says to Al, "Well, what about it, is George W. cheatin'?"

"He sure is, Bill, he's cutting holes in the ice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mistake:, to err, to cause an error or make a mess

If a barber makes a mistake, It's a new style...

If a driver makes a mistake, It is an accident...

If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture...

If parents makes a mistake, It is a new generation...

If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law...

If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new
invention...

If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion...

If a teacher makes a mistake , It is a new theory...

If our boss makes a mistake, It is our mistake......

If an employee makes a mistake, It is a "MISTAKE"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly
furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a
gorgeous young blonde woman.

As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled,
slapped Mr. Silverman, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"

Bewildered, Mr. Silverman was halfway to the parking lot with his wife
when he choked, "I . . . I didn't pinch that girl."

"Of course you didn't," replied his wife, consolingly. "I did."    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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**** HEALTH NEWS ****

Lilly schizophrenic drug data inconsistent

INDIANAPOLIS, -- Eli Lilly provided doctors information
about Zyprexa's blood sugar risks that conflicted with
earlier internal documents, company documents showed.
Other Lilly documents show conflicting information on
weight gain in patients taking Zyprexa for schizophrenia,
The New York Times said. Increased blood sugar levels and
weight gain are diabetes risk factors. Scientists have
debated a Zyprexa-diabetes link; Lilly said the connection
was unproved. A lawyer in Alaska representing mentally ill
patients released the documents. The original results, cir-
culated in 2000 when Indianapolis-based Lilly reviewed
Zyprexa, showed patients taking the drug were 31/2 times
as likely to experience high blood sugar levels as those
taking a placebo. The results Lilly provided to doctors
until at least late 2001 indicated patients taking Zyprexa
were only slightly more likely to suffer high blood sugar.
A 1999 Lilly report said the company found after examining
70 clinical trials that 16 percent of patients taking
Zyprexa for a year gained more than 66 pounds. Lilly
focused on data from a smaller group showing about 30 per-
cent of patients gained 22 pounds. Lilly said the later
figures were accurate and that the revised figures were
given to the Food and Drug Administration.

Bug in the gut may trigger obesity

ST. LOUIS, -- Very efficient bacteria in the digestive
tracts of obese people may provide a theory on why they
get fat, U.S. researchers said. Humans need the bacteria
to help convert indigestible foods into a digestible form
and bacteria in obese people are better at the conversion,
scientists from Washington University in St. Louis said
in two papers published in Nature. Because the bacteria
are good at their job, obese people get more energy than
non-obese people from the same amount of food -- and those
extra calories are deposited in fat. In both studies, a
family of bacteria known as firmicutes was more plentiful
in obese patients, scientists said. They concluded the
firmicutes were better at digesting food, such as complex
sugars, that the body can't. When obese people lost weight,
the amount of firmicutes fell. One paper studied humans,
the other mice. If the findings hold true under further
study, researchers said methods could be developed to in-
duce weight loss or prevent weight gain. Others said it
was too soon to manipulate the bacteria in hopes of a
slimmer body. For example, the amount of efficient bac-
teria could be a result of obesity, not its cause.

Fruit fly studies help explain human heart

SAN DIEGO, -- Researchers at The Burnham Institute for
Medical Research in San Diego have obtained detailed in-
sights into the early formation of the human heart. A
team lead by Dr. Rolf Bodmer found two proteins --
called Robo and Slit -- are required for normal develop-
ment of the heart and malfunction of either protein
results in congenital heart defects. Working with Droso-
philia melanogaster, also known as the fruit fly, the
researchers showed the Slit and Robo proteins accumulate
in a specific alignment during the formation of the heart
tube, a linear tube representing the primitive heart be-
fore its cells assume their rhythmical contractile func-
tions. Proper alignment of the heart tube cells is
critical for heart assembly and proper shape, or morph-
ology and mutation of the proteins results in observed
heart defects. "These findings provide understanding of
early controls in heart development, and we are eager to
conduct further studies to reveal how these controls are
executed," said Rolf Bodmer, corresponding author in the
study.

*****Fred.....The Ole Fritbear!!!*****
MERRY CHRISTMAS from the Humor Guy �� Here are a few GGG just for
the fun of it. ENJOY!!! �� So grab a glass of Egg Nog and a chunk
of Fruitcake and partake in a little Holiday Humor ... Must warn you,
many of these have been around the block a few times, but as you
know, most are worth another read ... ... ...

A drunken Irishman gets on a train and asks the conductor how long
the trip is between Limerick to Cork.

"About two hours," says the conductor.

"Okay," says the drunkard, "then how long is the trip between Cork to
Limerick?"

The irate conductor says to the drunk "It's still about two hours,
laddie. Why'd ya think there'd be a difference?"

"Well," says the drunk, "It's only a week between Christmas and New
Year's, but it's a helluva long time between New Year's and Christmas!"

William Phelps...1865-1943 (Yale professor), marking exam papers
shortly before Christmas one year, came across a curious answer to
one of his more perplexing questions:

"God only knows the answer to this question. Merry Christmas."

Phelps returned the paper with the following annotation: "God gets an
A, you get an F - Happy New Year!"

In 1947, Edmund Gwenn (1875-1959) won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar
for his role as Kris Kringle in George Seaton's Christmas classic
'Miracle on 34th Street'. "Now," he declared from the podium, "I know
there is a Santa Claus!"

A Few Christmas One Liners� � � � � � � � � �

QUESTION: Whats happens to you at Christmas? �� ANSWER: Yule be happy!

QUESTION: Whats happens if you eat the Christmas decorations? ��
ANSWER: You get tinsel-itus!

QUESTION: Whats happens to you at Christmas? �� ANSWER: Yule be happy!

QUESTION: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
�� ANSWER: Thanks, I'll never part with it!

QUESTION: How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb? ��
ANSWER: Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold
Rudolph down!

QUESTION: Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer? �� ANSWER:
Because every buck is dear to him!

"I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open
a jar of it every month." (Harlan Miller)

Q. Why do all the "other" reindeer have brown noses? �� A. Because
they cant stop as quickly as Rudolph.

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything
is softer and more beautiful. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

The "W" in Christmas

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful
experience. I had cut back on nonessential obligations - extensive
card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending.

Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the
precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas.

My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting
season for a six year old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for
his school's "Winter Pageant."

I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be working the night of the
production. Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with his
teacher. She assured me there'd be a dress rehearsal the morning of
the presentation.

All parents unable to attend that evening were welcome to come then.
Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise. So, the
morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found a
spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw
several other parents quietly scampering to their seats.

As I waited, the students were led into the room. Each class,
accompanied by their teacher, sat cross-legged on the floor. Then,
each group, one by one, rose to perform their song. Because the
public school system had long stopped referring to the holiday as
"Christmas," I didn't expect anything other than fun, commercial
entertainment songs of reindeer, Santa Claus, snowflakes and good cheer.

So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love," I was
slightly taken aback by its bold title. Nicholas was aglow, as were
all of his classmates, adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters, and
bright snowcaps upon their heads.

Those in the front row- center stage - held up large letters, one by
one, to spell out the title of the song. As the class would sing "C
is for Christmas," a child would hold up the letter C. Then, "H is
for Happy," and on and on, until each child holding up his portion
had presented the complete message, "Christmas Love."

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her; a
small, quiet, girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside
down - totally unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W". The audience
of 1st through 6th graders snickered at this little one's mistake.
But she had no idea they were laughing at her, so she stood tall,
proudly holding her "W".

Although many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter
continued until the last letter was raised, and we all saw it
together. A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen.

In that instant, we understood the reason we were there, why we
celebrated the holiday in the first place, why even in the chaos,
there was a purpose for our festivities. For when the last letter was
held high, the message read loud and clear:

"C H R I S T W A S L O V E" And, I believe, He still is. Amazed in
His presence....humbled by His love. Again, HAVE A BLESSED Christmas!

Mr. Jones patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her, "Your
boyfriend came to me today, and told me that he wants to marry you,
and I gave my consent."

Oh, Daddy, I'm so happy...." gushed his daughter, "but it's going to
be so hard to leave mother after we're married."

"I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed her dad. "You can take her
with you."

Seasonal Funnies

What do elves learn in school?

The Elf-abet!

What kind of bird can write?

A PENguin.

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Because every buck is dear to him.

JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus? MIKE:

We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?

Missletoe!

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?

Sandy Claus!

Just before Christmas, there was an honest politician, a kind lawyer
and Santa Claus travelling in an elevator of a very posh hotel. Just
before the doors opened they all noticed a $5 bill lying on the
floor. Which one picked it up??

Santa of course, the other two don't exist!

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?

He wanted to sleep like a log.

'Twas The (Politically Correct) Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck... How to live
in a world that's politically correct? His workers no longer would
answer to "Elves". "Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labor conditions at the north pole Were alleged by the union to
stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear That Santa had better
not use just reindeer. So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid, Were
replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh; The ruts were termed
dangerous by the E.P.A. And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened. His
fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened." And to show you the
strangeness of life's ebbs and flows, Rudolf was suing over
unauthorized use of his nose

And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation, Demanding millions
in over-due compensation. So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his
wife, Who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,

Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz, Demanding from
now on her title was Ms. And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a
notion That making a choice could cause so much commotion.

Nothing of leather, nothing of fur, Which meant nothing for him. And
nothing for her. Nothing that might be construed to pollute. Nothing
to aim. Nothing to shoot.

Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise. Nothing for just girls.
Or just for the boys. Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth. Nothing that seemed
to embellish a truth. And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden, Were
like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.

For they raised the hackles of those psychological Who claimed the
only good gift was one ecological. No baseball, no football...someone
could get hurt; Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe; And Nintendo would
rot your entire brain away. So Santa just stood there, disheveled,
perplexed; He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay, You've got to be careful with
that word today. His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might Give to all
without angering the left or the right. A gift that would satisfy,
with no indecision, Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue, Everyone, everywhere...even you. So here
is that gift, it's price beyond worth... "May you and your loved ones
enjoy peace on earth."

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her
car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her
situation to the dispatcher: They've stolen the stereo, the steering
wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few
minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard," he says. "she got
in the back seat by mistake."

Twas the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town Not a sign
of Baby Jesus was anywhere to be found. The people were all busy with
Christmas time chores - Like decorating, and baking, and shopping in
stores.

No one sang "Away in a manger, no crib for a bed". Instead, they sang
of Santa dressed-up in bright red. Mama watched Martha Stewart...Papa
drank beer from a tap. As hour upon hour the presents they'd wrap.

Then what from the T.V. did they suddenly hear? 'Cept an ad - which
told of a big sale down at Sears. So away to the mall they all flew
like a flash - Buying some things on credit and others with cash!

And, as they made their way home from their trip to the mall, Did
they think about Jesus? Oh, no - not at all. Their lives were so busy
with their Christmas time things - They had no time to remember
Christ Jesus, the King. There were presents to wrap and cookies to
bake. How could they stop and remember the One who died for their sake?

To pray to the Savior - they had no time to stop. Because they needed
more time to "Shop til they dropped!" On Wal-mart! On K-mart! On
Target! On Penney's! On Hallmark! On Zales! A quick lunch at Denny's!
From the big stores downtown to the stores at the mall They would
dash away, dash away, and visit them all!

And up on the roof, there arose such a clatter - As grandpa hung
icicle lights - using his brand new step ladder. He hung lights that
would flash. He hung lights that would twirl. Yet, he never once
prayed to Jesus - the Light of the World.

Christ's eyes - how they twinkle! Christ's Spirit - how merry!
Christ's love - how enormous! All of our burdens - He'll carry!

So instead of being busy, overworked, and uptight - Let's put Christ
back in Christmas - and enjoy some good nights!

~ Rev. Jon Prain

12 Days of Christmas...Its Meaning

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the
world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially
the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with
Christmas?

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted
to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this
carol as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of
meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to
members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word
for a religious reality, which the children could remember.

The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ. Two turtledoves were
the Old and New Testaments Three French hens stood for faith, hope
and love. The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew,
Mark, Luke & John. The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law,
the first five books of the Old Testament. The six geese a-laying
stood for the six days of creation. Seven swans a-swimming
represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit: Prophesy,
Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.
The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes. Nine ladies
dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit: - Love, Joy, Peace,
Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self
Control. The ten lords a-leaping were the Ten Commandments. The
eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples. The
twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in
The Apostles' Creed. So there is your history for today. This
knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and
enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas
Carol...so pass it on if you wish.

Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef:

1 large Roast of beef

1 small Roast of beef

Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one
burns, the big one is done.

(For those too young to remember...Gracie Allen (1895-1964) was the
wife of George Burns (1896-1996)<:))

An Alphabet of Christmas

A is for Animals who shared the stable.

B for the Babe with their manger for cradle.

C for the Carols so blithe and gay,

D for December, the twenty-fifth day.

E for the Eve when we're all so excited.

F for the Fun when the tree's at last lighted.

G is for Goose which you all know is fat.

H is the Holly you stick in your hat.

I for the Ivy that clings to the wall.

J is for Jesus, the cause of it all.

K for the Kindness begot by this feast.

L is for Light shining way in the East.

M for the Mistletoe, all green and white.

N for the Noels we sing Christmas night.

O for the Oxen, the first to adore Him.

P for the Presents Wise Men laid before Him.

Q for the Quiet of this holy Eve

as God's greatest blessing we all did receive.

R for the Reindeer leaping over the roofs.

S for the Stockings that Santa Claus stuffs.

T for the Toys, the Tinsel, the Tree.

U is for Us - the whole family.

V is for Visitors bringing us cheer.

W is Welcome to the happy New Year.

X YZ bother me!

So now to you all, wherever you be, a merry, merry Christmas,and many
may you see!

One final note .... Just approximately 282 Shopping Days left until
Christmas 2007 !!!

That's It for this special edition of GGG for the Holidays!!! Sent
your way "Just for the fun of it and also because we feel everyone
can use a few chuckles, grins and giggles every day!

**** Reader's Submissions ****

A New Year's Prayer

May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S.

May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs and your stocks not fall; and may your blood pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your white blood count and your mortgage interest not rise.

May New Year's Eve find you seated around the table, together with your beloved family and cherished friends. May you find the food better, the environment quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much more fulfilling than anything else you might ordinarily do that night.

May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them. May someone love you enough to forgive your faults, be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about your virtues.

May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls until you finish dinner, may the commercials on TV not be louder than the program you have been watching, and may your check book and your budget balance - and include generous amounts for charity.

May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a day to your spouse, your child, your parent, your siblings; but not to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your hairdresser or your tennis instructor.

And may we live in a world at peace and with the awareness of God's love in every sunset, every flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing, miraculous beat of our heart.

~Extracts from a Prayer by Rabbi Jacob Pressman~(Dobhran Greetings)

**** ON THIS DAY ****

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent. I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-23-

Buddy Harmon, session drummer, born Nashville, TN 1928.

Buck Owens recorded "Excuse Me I Think I've Got A Heartache/Above And Beyond," 1959.

Marty Robbins released "Don't Worry/Like All The Other Times" 1960.

Jack Greene joined the Grand Ole Opry 1967.

Merle Haggard recorded "The Fightin' Side of Me," 1969.

Johnny Cash's "The World of Johnny Cash" certified gold 1971.

Ray Cash, age 85, father of Johnny Cash, died 1985.

Funeral services were open to the public as the Grand Ole Opry house hosted Hank Snow's final public appearance. Hank, age 85, died on December 20, 1999. The service was televised.

Alison Krauss' album "So Wrong, So Long" certified gold 1997.

Calvin Crawford, age 68, died in Nashville 1999 from cancer. Calvin played Bass guitar for Little Jimmie Dickens for 19 years.

Mercury Records' "O Brother Where Art Thou?" movie soundtrack debuted on the charts 2000.

-24-

Lulu Belle of "Lulu Belle and Scotty," born Boone, NC 1913.

Mary Jane DeZurick, of the Cackle Sisters born 1917.

Gospel music pioneer Jake Hess born 1927.

Stoney Edwards singer/songwriter/musician, born Seminole, OK 1929.

Gene Autry recorded his hit "Mexicali Rose" 1935.

Mike Curb, born Savannah, GA 1944.

Marty Robbins released "Sometimes I'm Tempted/I Told The Brook" 1961.

Willie Nelson's home in Nashville destroyed by fire 1969.

Jimmy Dickens and Mona Evans were married 1971.

Alan Jackson, age 20, asked his future bride Denise, age 18, to marry him 1978. The couple were married on December 15, 1979, in Newnan, Georgia.

Charlie Moore, age 44, Bluegrass singer-songwriter died in 1979.

Deborah Allen's single "Baby I Lied" debuted on Billboard's Top 40 Chart 1983.

George Strait's "The Chair," topped the charts 1985.

Keith Whitley's "When You Say Nothing At All" went to #1 1988.

The new "Johnny Cash.com," debuted 2002.

-25-

Buddy Jones, recording artist/police officer, born Asheville, NC 1906. At the completion of his

recording career, Jones worked as a police officer in Shreveport, LA until his death in 1956.

Alton Delmore, born Elkmont, AL 1908.

Curly Sechler, singer/songwriter/musician, born China Grove, NC 1919.

Roy Acuff and Mildred Douglas were married in Middlesboro, KY 1936.

Jimmy Buffett, singer/songwriter, born 'James William Buffett,' Pascagoula, MS 1946.

Barbara Mandrell, "The Sweetheart of Steel," born Houston, TX 1948.

Steve Wariner born Noblesville, IN 1954.

Sixteen-year-old Priscilla Beaulieu spent Christmas at Graceland 1960.

Kimber Clayton, songwriter, born Montgomery, AL 1964.

The Osborne Brothers' "Rocky Top" charted 1967.

George Jones and Tammy Wynette's duet "Take Me," charted 1971.

The Gatlins joined the Grand Ole Opry 1976.

Alecia Elliott born Muscle Shoals, AL 1982.

Roger Bowling, age 39, songwriter, died in Wiley, GA 1982.

In 1982, three armed subjects wearing nylon stocking over their heads invaded Johnny Cash's

home in Jamaica. The Cash family and their guests, were terrorized and robbed. Before leaving

the robbers locked everyone in the basement of the home. The three men were later shot and

killed by Jamaican authorities.

Billy Nelson, age 33, son of Willie Nelson, hung himself on Christmas Day 1991.

Bear Family released Little Jimmy Dickens' "Country Boy" album 1997.

Denver Pyle, "Uncle Jesse Duke" of The Dukes of Hazzard died 1997.

Bear Family Records released Charline Arthur's "Welcome To The Club" 1998.

Bryan MacLean, age 52, died 1998. Bryan wrote Patty Loveless' hit "Don't Throw Us Away."

Hazel McCoury, age 92, mother of Del McCoury, died 2002.

-26-

"Bashful Brother Oswald," Beecher Ray "Pete" Kirby, born Sevier County, TN 1911.

Harry Choates, fiddler/songwriter/singer " born Rayne, LA 1922.

Ronnie Prophet born Calument, Quebec, Canada 1938.

Rattlesnake Annie born Ashville, NC 1941.

Bob Carpenter, "Nitty Gritty Dirt Band" born Philadelphia, PA 1946.

The KWTO "Ozark Jubilee" debuted Springfield, MO 1953.

Alan O'Bryant, "Nashville Bluegrass Band," born Reidsville, NC 1955.

Jimmie Osborne, age 34, "The Kentucky Folk Singer, " took his own life 1957.

Travis Lewis, of "The Lewis Family" born Greenwood, SC 1958.

Jay Farrar of "Uncle Tupelo" born Belleville, IL 1966.

Buck Owens released "Where Does The Good Times Go/The Way That I Love You" 1966.

Audrey Wiggins, of "John & Audrey Wiggins" born Ashville, NC 1967.

Marty Robbins released "Tonight Carmen/Girl with Gardenias in Her Hair" 1967.

Lynn Anderson's "Rose Garden" topped the charts 1970.

George Jones & Tammy Wynette's first duet "Take Me," charted 1971.

Joe Attlesey, age 69, of "The Shelton Brothers" died 1980.

Jimmy Arnold, age 40, Traditional Bluegrass/vocals/fiddle/guitar/harmonica, died 1992.

Johnny Hathcock, age 81, songwriter, died in Amarillo, TX 2000.

-27-

Scotty Moore, guitarist, born Gadsden, TN 1931.

Tracy Nelson singer/daughter of Rick Nelson, born French Camp, CA 1944.

Les Taylor "Exile," born Oneida, KY 1948.

The "Marshall Jamboree," debuted on KMHT in Marshall, TX 1952. The emcee was T. Tommy Cutrer.

Marty Robbins released "That's All Right/Gossip" 1954.

Jeffery Park Bryant, "Ricochet," born Pecos, TX 1962.

Merle Haggard's "Sing A Sad Song," charted 1963.

Capitol Records released Buck Owens' album "Open Up Your Heart" 1966.

Bob Luman, age 41, died in Nashville, TN 1978.

Vestal Goodman, age 74, gospel music pioneer, died while on vacation in Orlando, FL 2003. The cause of death was the flu.

Hank Garland, age74, artist/session guitarist, died Orange Park, FL 2004.

**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Rimes Hosts Showdown

December 21, 2006 � LeAnn Rimes will host the 25th Annual Colgate Country Showdown National Final on January 25, 2007, at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. The Showdown is the nation's biggest and longest running country music talent search.

Dean Unkefer, president of Special Promotions, Inc., and producer of the Showdown says, "We are honored to have LeAnn Rimes host our 25th Annual Colgate Country Showdown. She joins other great stars � such as Reba McEntire, Willie Nelson and Sara Evans � in recognizing hundreds of radio stations and talented aspiring artists throughout the United States that make this program possible."

Five finalists from the Colgate Country Showdown will compete for the grand prize of $100,000 at the National Final hosted by Rimes. The televised one-hour special is syndicated nationwide and will also air on GAC.

Each year, more than 50,000 artists compete in the Colgate-sponsored local competitions throughout the U.S. and more than $300,000 in cash prizes are awarded throughout the competition. All participants are judged on five core criteria: marketability, vocal/instrumental ability, originality of performance, stage presence/charisma and talent. Past local and regional winners include Brad Paisley, Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, Martina McBride, Billy Ray Cyrus, Sara Evans and Montgomery Gentry.

Hello, Dolly; Goodbye, Jessica!

by Sarah Hall

Los Angeles (E! Online) - Dolly Parton may not have had a problem with Jessica Simpson's poorly executed rendition of "9 to 5" at the Kennedy Center Honors this month, but the same can't be said for Simpson herself.

The younger singer has asked to be cut from Tuesday's CBS broadcast of the Dec. 2 awards gala after judging her performance of the Parton classic unacceptable for public consumption.

After her first crack at the song went poorly, causing Simpson to flee the stage in tears, producers gave her a second chance. Unfortunately, the do-over apparently didn't go much better, and after viewing a tape of her performance, Simpson opted out.

"She really wasn't happy with her performance and she did want it to be perfect for Dolly, who she idolizes," Simpson's rep Cindi Berger said in a statement.

Simpson's unimpressive performance was chalked up to her anxiety over paying tribute to her heroine, which left her "overcome with emotion," her rep said.

After she flubbed the lyrics to "9 to 5" in her initial go-round, Simpson blurted out, "Dolly, you make me so nervous, I can't even sing the words right."

The next day, she taped a second performance, but even without Parton and assorted dignitaries looking on, she was apparently unable to deliver.

Parton spoke up in Simpson's support earlier this month, denying any hard feelings over the less than stellar tribute.

"Jessica is so talented that I'm sure that someday they will be paying tribute to her, and I would be honored to perform for her," Parton said in a statement. "But I'll probably be so nervous that I'll forget my wig!"

The producer of the Kennedy Center Honors show said he respected Simpson's decision to remove herself from the program.

"We appreciate the time and energy Ms. Simpson put into this event and respect the high standards she has for herself and that of the Kennedy Center Honors," producer George Stevens Jr. said in a statement.

Even without Simpson's contribution to the segment of the broadcast honoring Parton, the country icon won't be at a loss for accolades.

Reese Witherspoon, Carrie Underwood and Kenny Rogers also paid their respects to Parton at the Washington, D.C. affair, with no requests for second takes.

Parton's fellow honorees included Motown legend Smokey Robinson, filmmaker Steven Spielberg, Broadway mastermind Andrew Lloyd Webber and conductor Zubin Mehta.

**** Amy's Kitchen ****
Ham and Noodle Casserole
4 oz. noodles
1 can cream of chicken soup
1/2 c. milk
1 tsp. minced onion
1 c. sour cream
2 c. leftover ham, cubed or 1" slivers
1/2 c. bread crumbs
1-1/2 tbsp. melted margarine
1 tsp. Parmesan cheese
1-1/2 qt. greased casserole

Cook noodles. In bowl, blend soup and milk. Add onion and sour cream. In casserole layer half the noodles, then ham, then sauce. Repeat. Toss bread crumbs with margarine. Sprinkle on top. Top with cheese. Bake at 325 degrees for 25 minutes. Serves 6.

Ham and Noodle Casserole
4 oz. noodles
1 can cream of chicken soup
1/2 c. milk
1 tsp. minced onion
1 c. sour cream
2 c. leftover ham, cubed or 1" slivers
1/2 c. bread crumbs
1-1/2 tbsp. melted margarine
1 tsp. Parmesan cheese
1-1/2 qt. greased casserole

Cook noodles. In bowl, blend soup and milk. Add onion and sour cream. In casserole layer half the noodles, then ham, then sauce. Repeat. Toss bread crumbs with margarine. Sprinkle on top. Top with cheese. Bake at 325 degrees for 25 minutes. Serves 6.

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

What are the health benefits of using a sauna, and how often should you use it?

Health benefits of sauna mainly have to do with the physiology of perspiration: sweating helps rid the body of wastes, regulates body temperature, and invigorates our largest organ, the skin. It is also believed that exposure of the skin to heat stimulates the production of white blood cells and strengthens the immune system.

A word of cautionary advice. Pregnant women, as well as bathers with high or low blood pressure, heart disease, or other special conditions, are advised to consult a physician before breaking a sweat. Saunas are also hazardous to individuals under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

The president of the Finnish Sauna Society suggests that, "The idea is not to have the best sauna on the block, but to get the entire block in the sauna." Frankly, we're not too sure if this will catch on in our part of the world.

****A PARTING THOUGHT ****

Politics: A parrot that has swallowed a watch.

LAST CALL Y'ALL

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
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