|
From Carlisle
,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome
to The Funnies
"Friends
are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended
for younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can
repair almost anything.
Welcome New
Subscribers
If you don't have a
sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at
all
Anyone without a sense
of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help
Them
Remember,it is easier to get
older
than it is to get wiser
THURSDAY JANUARY17,2007
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: My 'snail' mail is a little slow.
Last month my
flower seeds came as a bouquet
"International soccer star David Beckham has signed a
$250
million deal to play here in L.A. He’s very popular.
To
give you an idea of how popular he is today an L.A.
jury
awarded him a not guilty sentence for any future
murders."
--Jay
Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Fans of
Elton John were shocked when at a recent concert
he said the "F
word" 15 times in under one minute. Fans
say that was just what
'Candle In The Wind' needed."
--Conan
O'Brien
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"David Beckham
was I think one of the first described as
'metrosexual.' The
first time I heard word metrosexual, I
thought it meant guys who
have sex in subway. I spent years
riding the subway, hoping."
--Craig Ferguson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife and
I, both graduate students, recently celebrated
the arrival of
our first child. At my wife's insistence, we
had paid our entire
medical bill and were now worried about
meeting other
payments.
We were discussing our sad financial situation one
evening
when our son demanded a diaper change. As my wife
leaned
over the baby's crib, I heard her mutter, "The only
thing
in the house that's paid for, and it
leaks."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable to her
when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans. Wondering
if the added weight was noticeable to everyone else, she asked
her husband, "Honey, do these jeans make me look like the side
of the house?"
"No, dear, not at all," he replied, "Our
house isn't
blue."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MOST OF MY baby daughter's wardrobe consisted of
hand-me- downs from
an older cousin. Since he was a boy, everything she wore
was blue.
At the supermarket, other shoppers repeatedly complimented me
on my
fine-looking son. Eventually I gave up correcting them and
began
replying, "Yes, he is." Then one day I realized that I wasn't
the
only mother with this problem. As I pushed my cart down the
aisle, I saw what
I assumed was a baby boy. A closer look revealed
my mistake.
On the
back of the baby's blue jacket was a message stitched in
small pink letters.
It read: "Underneath my hand-me-downs, I'm
every inch a
woman."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two rabbis, one Reformed and the
other Orthodox, were discussing
their respective congregations one
day.
The Reformed rabbi asked the Orthodox leader, "Why don't you
let
the men and women of your congregation sit together, as they do
in my
temple?"
The Orthodox rabbi, known for his sense of humor, replied, "If
you
want to know the truth, I don't really mind them sitting together
at
all. But, you see, my sermons aren't that interesting and I
just can't have
them sleeping together"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One
Sunday morning, I took a friend of mine who is blind to
church with me.
Several of the children in the congregation were
fascinated with her Braille
Bible. One of the adults came over to
see what had excited the kids so much.
My friend told the woman,
"I was showing the children how bumpy the road to
salvation is."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A car salesman tried to
influence Tom DeLay by giving him a new
automobile. The congressman declined,
claiming that accepting such
a gift would be unethical. The salesman thought
for a moment,
then offered to sell him a car for $20. "It's a deal,"
DeLay
said. "I'll take two."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde
keeps having a recurring nightmare, so she goes to
a psychologist to figure out what it means.
"So, tell me about your dream" says the
doctor.
"Well, Doctor, I'm running
down a hall, and a vampire keeps chasing me.
But when I get to the end of the hall, the door is always locked!
I keep pushing and pushing but it
never opens!"
The doctor ponders a
moment, then replies, "Can you remember anything else?"
"Hmm. yes, yes, there is one more thing. On the door,
there are always the same
mysterious letters. Umm.. P... U...L... oh yeah and L !"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Old Harold's In The Hospital
Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital.
There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he
was a
little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of
voice, "And how
are we doing this morning, or are we
ready for a bath, or are we hungry?"
Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse. One
day, Old Harold had breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray,
and put it
on his bed side stand. He had been given a urine
bottle to fill for
testing.
The juice was apple juice. So .. you know where the juice
went! The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine
bottle
and looked at it. "My, but it seems we are a little
cloudy today "
At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand,
popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll run
it
through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time."
The nurse fainted! . . Old Harold just smiled!
DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!!!!
Sounds like a nurse who
use to work for me-Jim boy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tiring of the same old buzz cut from the base barber at Fort
Dix, New Jersey, I went into town to get my haircut. The hairdresser noticed my
accent and asked where I was from.
"Trinidad," I said.
"Is that in
Arabia?"
"The Caribbean."
She laughed, "Sorry, I never was very
good at geometry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two friends met on the
street and one said, "I heard your brother
died. What happened?"
"It was
very sad," the other replied. "Lettuce killed him."
"How could lettuce kill a
man?"
"He bought lettuce at the market and asked the store owner how to
keep it fresh"
"The owner told him, 'Put your head in a plastic bag, tie
it tight
and put it in the
refrigerator.'"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Young son: Pop, did you know
Mommy thinks you're
perfect?
Father: She does? Wow! How do you
know?
Young son: I heard her say it to Mrs. Smith.
Father: When was
that?
Young son: Just before she used the word idiot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few chuckles
for a cold. windy Friday morning. . .
1 Two antennas met on a roof,
fell in love and got married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was
excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll
serve
you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar,
and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A
man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer
please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One
says to the other: "Does
this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't
stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones
Syndrome." "Is it common?" "Well,
It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are
standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was
artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't
believe you, "says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an
invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.
10. Deja
Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy
some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.
12. A
man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor,
doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know
you can't -- I've
cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled
a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other
and says
"Dam!".
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a
fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you
can't
have your kayak and heat it
too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Peach~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I sat
handcuffed in the back seat of the patrol car, I reflected
that it may not
have been wise to comment to the officer writing me
a speeding ticket, "Can
you speed it up? I'm kind of in a
hurry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Doesn't it seem that more and more that physicians are running
their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to
Bubba:
Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him
what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” So she wrote down his name, address,
medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes
later a nurse's aide came out and asked Bubba what he had.
Bubba said,
“Shingles.” So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and
told Bubba to wait in the examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and
asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” So the nurse gave Bubba a blood
test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off
all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in
and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, “Shingles.” The doctor asked,
“Where?”
Bubba said, “Outside on the truck. Where do you want
them?”**** Quickies ****
CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to
divide Iraq into three parts, regular, premium and
unleaded.
~
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and
a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a
fax?
~
If you look anything like your passport photo,
you are too ill to travel.
~
Historians tell us about
the past and economists about the future; thus, only the present is
confusing.
~
Teacher: Do you know what we call the person who delivers
children?
Melody: She's called Mom. She delivers me to school, to my
girlfriends' houses, to the mall, to soccer practice...
~
Jack: I
shouldn't have told my fiancee about my rich uncle.
Joe: Why
not?
Jack: Because now she's my
aunt &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's
ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca
**** HEALTH NEWS
****
Iron-rich Foods Raise Heart Risks for
Diabetics
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Consuming red
meat and other
foods high in "heme" iron, such as chicken liver,
clams
and oysters, appears to increase the risk of heart
disease
in diabetics, researchers report in the journal
Diabetes
Care.
It might be advisable that
"patients with type 2 diabetes
may limit consumption of heme
iron and red meat," lead
investigator Dr. Lu Qi told Reuters
Health.
Dr. Qi of Harvard School of Public Health,
Boston
and colleagues note that diabetes-related
metabolic
abnormalities may aggravate the adverse effects of
excess
iron on the heart. However, they add, little is
known
about whether iron consumption also affects heart
disease
risk.
To investigate further, the
researchers followed 6,161
women participating in the Nurses'
Health Study, and who
reported a diagnosis of type 2 diabetes.
During follow-up
from 1980 through 2000, the team documented 550
new cases
of heart disease.
After accounting
for age and body weight, high intake of
both heme iron and red
meat appeared to increase the risk
of heart disease.
Specifically, women who consumed the
highest amount of heme iron
were 50 percent more likely to
develop heart disease than those
with the lowest intake.
The risks were greatest in women who
were postmenopausal.
The researchers point out that because
of the study's
design, the findings can't prove that high heme
iron intake
"causes" heart disease, only that it is "associated"
with
the disease.
Still, they note that
cutting back on consumption of heme
iron-rich foods might be
prudent for diabetics.
SOURCE: Diabetes Care, January
2007.
Copyright 2006 Reuters
Limited.
Diabetic Recipe
Nacho
Popcorn
(makes 12 servings)
4
quarts air-popped corn
refrigerated butter-flavored cooking
spray
2 teaspoons ground cumin
2 teaspoons
garlic powder
2 teaspoons onion powder
2
teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon Tabasco
(optional)
1. Preheat oven to 300°F. Spread popped corn in a
large
baking pan. Lightly coat with cooking spray.
Toss and
coat again.
2. Combine
cumin, garlic powder, and onion powder. Sprinkle
over popcorn. Toss to coat evenly. Drizzle with
Worcestershire sauce and Tabasco (if using). Toss again.
3.
Bake for 10 minutes, tossing once. Wrap tightly in a
pouch made from a double sheet of heavy-duty
aluminum
foil.
Per serving: 45
calories (10% calories from fat),
2 g
protein, 1 g total fat (0 saturated fat),
9 g
carbohydrate, 2 g dietary fiber,
0
cholesterol, 11 mg sodium
Diabetic exchanges: 1/2
carbohydrate (bread/starch)
Copyright 1997-2001
Diabetic-Lifestyle.
*****Fred.....The Ole Fritbear!!!*****
?Grins, Giggles and Groaners exists with oneʢelief,.ʠ.ʠ.to
spread laughter and joy to the world. We try to makeʡ little difference in
everyone's day by bringing laughter and smilesʴo you and the people around you.
Sent to you "just for the fun ofʩt" with the hope you get a few chuckles or
maybe a hearty belly
laff. ?ʠFeel free to pass 'em around!!! --- Thanks for letting
me bring you a few MOMENTS ʯf fun.ʠ... AND OH YES ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OLE BEN
FRANKLIN!!!
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
30 Totally Useless Factsʼ/DIV>
30 Useless Facts
1. Bird droppings are the chief export of Nauru, an island
nation in the western Pacific.
2. Blondes have more hair than dark
haired people do.
3. Belgium is the only country that has never imposed
censorship for adult films.
4. A giraffe can clean its ears with its
21-inch tongue.
5. Bees kill more people a year than sharks do.
6. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow film down so you
could see his moves.
7. A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a
4 foot tall child inside.
8. Brazil is the only country to have played
in every World Cup soccer tournament.
9. Bulls are colorblind, it is the
motion of the cape which angers them.
10. Babe Ruth kept a lettuce leaf
under his hat to keep cool during a game.
11. Camels have three eyelids
to protect themselves from blowing sand.
12. Cards may not be played in
the street with a Native American.
13. Broccoli and cauliflower are the
only vegetables that are flowers.
14. Certain frogs can be frozen solid
then thawed and continue living.
15. China has more English speakers
than the United States.
16. By age sixty, most people have lost half of
their taste buds.
17. Cheese is the oldest of all man-made foods.
18. Before 1850, golf balls were made of leather and were stuffed with
feathers.
19. Bill Clinton is the only President ever to be elected
twice without ever receiving 50% of the popular vote. He had 43 percent in 1992
and 49 percent in 1996.
20. Children grow faster in the springtime.
21. By the time a child finishes elementary school she will have
witnessed 8,000 murders and 100,000 acts of violence on television.
22.
A healthy human eye can distinguish between 500 shades of gray.
23.
Banana plants are the largest plants on earth without a woody stem. They are
actually giant herbs of the same family as lilies, orchids and palms.
24. Casanova wore condoms made of linen.
25. A man and woman in
Mexico city were engaged for 67 yrs and finally married at the age of 82 yrs.
26. Back in the mid to late 80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn't
considered 100% compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator.
27. A Horse has 18 more bones than a Human.
28. Barbers are
forbidden by law from shaving a man's chest in Omaha, Nebraska.
29. Both
George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew cannabis sativa (marijuana) on their
plantations.
30. A kangaroo can jump up to 3 meters high and leap up to
8 meters.ʼ/P>
[You could say that G G G is more than just humor ...
!!!]
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
A Letter from Martha Stewart
ʊ
Monday, 9:00 a.m.ʼ/DIV>
ʈi Loretta,ʼ/DIV>
ʊʊʊʊ This perfectly delightful note is being sent on paperʠI
made myself to tell you what I have been up to.ʠSince it snowed last night, I
got up early and made a sled with old barn wood and a glue gun.ʠI hand-painted
it in gold leaf, got outʠmy loom, and made a blanket in peaches and mauves.ʠThen
to make the sled complete, I made a white horse to pull it from DNA that I just
had sitting around in my craft room.ʼ/DIV>
ʊʊʊʠBy then, it was time to start making the place mats and
napkins for my 20 breakfast guests.ʠI'm serving the old standard Stewart
twelve-course breakfast, but I'll let you in on a little secret:ʠI didn't have
time to make the table and chairs this morning, so I used the ones I had on
hand.ʼ/DIV>
ʊʊʊʊ Before I moved the table into the dining room, I decided to
add just a touch of the holidays.ʠSo, I repainted the room in pinks and
stenciled gold stars on the ceiling. Then, while the homemade bread was rising,
I took antique candle molds and made the dishes (exactly the same shade of pink)
to use for breakfast.ʠThese were made from Hungarian clay, which you can get in
almost any Hungarian craft store.ʼ/DIV>
ʊʊʊʊ Well, I must run.ʠI need to finish the buttonholes on the
dress I'm wearing for breakfast.ʠI'll get out the sled and drive this note to
the post office as soon as the glue dries on the envelope I'll be making.ʠHope
my breakfast guests don't stay too long -- I have 40,000 cranberries to string
with bay leaves before my speaking engagement at noon.ʊ
ʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊ Love,ʼ/DIV>
ʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʊʠMartha Stewartʼ/DIV>
P.S. When I made the ribbon for this typewriter, I used 1/8-inch
gold gauze. I soaked the gauze in a mixture of white grapes and blackberries
which I grew, picked, and crushed last week just for fun.ʼ/DIV>
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Why Men Are Happier Than Women
1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all
ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is
just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white
T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8.
The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station
because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11.
Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental -
$100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to
them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically
expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our
feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over
in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day
vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own
jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of
thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still
be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24.
Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes
are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to
turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in
public.
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The
same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to
shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big
hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all
seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We
have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do
Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Top 10 Signs of Job Burnout
10. Youղe so tired, you now answer the phone with Ҍeave me
alone!ӊ
9. Your friends call to ask how youնe been, and you immediately
scream,ӓtop asking me all these questions!ӊ
8. Your garbage can IS your ҉nboxӡʼ/DIV>
7. You wake up to discover your house is on fire, but go back to
sleep because you just donմ care.ʼ/DIV>
6. You consider a 40 hour week a vacation.ʼ/DIV>
5. Visions of the upcoming weekend help you make it through
Monday.ʼ/DIV>
4. You donմ set your alarm anymore because you know your pager
will go off before your alarm does.ʼ/DIV>
3. You leave for a party and instinctively bring your ID
badge.ʼ/DIV>
2. Your DayTimer/Work Planner exploded a week ago.ʼ/DIV>
1. You think about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail
right now.ʼ/DIV>
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge
heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled
inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart
forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all
eyes turned to him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral
...I'm a gynecologist."
That's when the proctologist fainted.
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Quotable Quotes:
"I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer
to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house."
-Roseanne
ʼ/DIV>
"I've been feeling kind of lousy for the past few weeks. I don't
want to go to the doctor because I just know what he's gonna say: 'Stop shooting
heroin.' What a broken record that guy is."
-Drake Sather
ʼ/DIV>
"I have a doctor's appointment on Monday. I'm not sick or
anything. It's just that I lost some weight and I want someone to see me naked."
-Tracy Smith
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
ʏne day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
sweatshirt.
ʓeconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to
me,
ʢWhat setting do I use on the washing machine?"
ʢIt depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
ʈe yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
ʁnd they say blondes are dumb...
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
ʁ couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you
theʨappiest woman in the world."ʔhe womanʠʲeplies, "I'll miss you..."
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he
stepped out of
the shower,ʠ"honey, what do you think the neighbors would think
if I mowed
the lawn like this?"
ʢProbably that I married you for your money," she replied.
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their
40th weddingʡnniversary.
ʏn their special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they
had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
ʼ/DIV>
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
ʗhoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
ʼ/DIV>
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
ʼ/DIV>
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
ʇotta love that fairy!
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
D ear Lord,
ʉ pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patienceʦor his moods.
ʂecause, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
ʁMEN
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
ʑ: What do you call a handcuffed man?
ʁ: Trustworthy.
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
My 'snail' mail is a little slow. Last month my flower seeds
came as a bouquet.
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
A photo shop got a reprint order for a picture of a man milking
a cow. The man sat behind the cow, and all that was visible were his feet. A
scrawled note read, "This is my only photo of my grandfather. Please remove the
cow so I can see what Grandpa looked like."
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
While staring at a monkey in the zoo, a preschooler asked: "What
does he eat?" The zookeeper rattled off a long list of foods. "Where does he get
his food from? asked the student. "The regular supermarket," said the zookeeper.
"Well, who drives him there?" asked the boy.
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
"People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of
the road, and the back of the church."
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
When lives hang in the balance, it's not often that search-and-
rescue teams get a good chuckle. But everyone deserves a break from time to
time.
In 2001 a man from Raumati South, a rural town east of Wellington,
put on his shoes, grabbed a leash and took the dog out for a little stroll. By
nightfall, they hadn't returned.
The lush, green coastal area of the
southwest tip of New Zealand's North Island offers one of the most spectacular
views of the South Pacific, but along with it comes a dense, mountainous, often
hazardous terrain. When the man's absence became evident, it triggered a search
and rescue hunt conducted by the Wellington Police.
The New Zealand
Herald reports that some time later the man was indeed found, mostly unhurt, but
in a rather compromised conditionѳtuck in a blackberry bush, having been dragged
there by his dog.
"He was well and truly stuck and wasn't going anywhere
fast," says Sergeant Andy Warnes, somehow managing to keep a straight
face.
The man and his dog were returned home in good condition apart from
a few scratches and prickles. Reportedly, they did not speak to each other for
several days.
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Mrs. Scheck, asked her 5th grade history class, "When was Rome
built?" and called on Timothy to answer first.
"Rome was built at night."
was his answer.
"At night?" asked Mrs. Scheck, holding her ruler firmly
in her hands. "How ever did you get such an idea?"
"Well," gulped the
student, hoping his answer would satisfy her, "everyone knows Rome wasn't built
in a day."
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
THE LOST CHAPTER OF GENESIS
Adam was hanging around the
garden of Eden, feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"
Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
God said that He was going to
make Adam a companion, and that it would be a woman. He said, "This pretty lady
will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing,
she will wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make,
and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong
when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children
and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She
will NEVER have a headache, and will freely give you love and passion whenever
you need it."
Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this
cost?"
God replied, "An arm and a leg."
Then Adam asked, "What can
I get for a rib?"
Of course, the rest is history....
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
!See you next time .... and a reminder, if you drink, please don't
drive!!!
????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????
**** Reader's Submissions
****
Stranded
A voyaging ship was wrecked
during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a
small, desert like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agree
that they had no other recourse but to pray to God.
However, to find out whose
prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and
stay on opposite sides of the
island.
The first thing they prayed
for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his
side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of
land remained barren.
After a week, the first man
was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day,
another ship was wrecked, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side
of the land. On the other side of the island, there was
nothing.
Soon the first man prayed
for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were
given to him. However, the second man still had
nothing.
Finally, the first man
prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the
morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island. The first man boarded
the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island. He
considered the other man unworthy to receive God's blessings, since none of his
prayers had been answered.
As the ship was about to
leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving
your companion on the island?"
My blessings are mine alone,
since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered. "His prayers
were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything."
You are mistaken!" the voice
rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you
would not have received any of my
blessings."
Tell me," the first man
asked the voice, "what did he pray for that I should owe him
anything?"
He prayed that all your
prayers be answered."
For all we know, our blessings are not
the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for
us.
**** ON THIS DAY
****
****
HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These
Are My Causes Please Help
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent. I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a
mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a
thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits
to donate mammogram
in exchange for
advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to
click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated
every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to
go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This
doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the
number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in
exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link
for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U
Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject
Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****
-18-
Linda Parker, cast member of the WLS National Barn Dance, born
Covington, KY 1912. Parker was the first female artist to have a
successful solo career in country music.
Bobby Edwards, "Robert Moncrief" singer/songwriter, born
Anniston, AL 1926. Inducted Alabama Music Hall of Fame.
Hargus "Pig" Robbins, session pianist, born Rhea County, TN
1938.
Bobby Goldsboro born Marianna, FL 1941.
Ernest Tubb recorded "Walking The Floor Over You" 1944.
Jim Reeves' single "Bimbo" topped the charts 1954.
George "Mark" Collie born Waynesboro, TN 1956.
The Louvin Brothers released "Nellie Moved To Town" 1960.
Johnny Paycheck's "Take This Job And Shove It" topped the charts
1978.
Capitol Records released Hoyt Axton's album "American Originals"
1993.
Eddie Hill, age 74, singer/songwriter/musician/DJ/TV host, died
1994. Inducted CMDJHF 1975.
Lisa Marie Presley filed for divorce from Michael Jackson
1996.
Darryl Worley's single "Awful Beautiful Life" topped the charts 2005.
**** COUNTRY
MUSIC NEWS ****
Urban plans world tour
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 –
Plans are underway for Keith Urban's "Love, Pain &
the whole crazy World Tour." Exact dates are being finalized, but the tour is
set to kick-off with a short run of club shows in the United Kingdom and Germany
this April.
Urban then will move to arenas in Australia in May, before hitting U.S.
and Canadian arenas in June.
Further announcements are expected in the coming weeks.
Urban's latest album, "Love, Pain & the whole crazy thing," debuted
on Nov. 7 and was the second consecutive number one album for Urban. The first
single from Urban's fourth studio recording, "Once in a Lifetime," became the
highest debuting single in the history of the Billboard Hot Country Singles
Chart. "Stupid Boy" is the follow-up single.
Urban, who is married to actress Nicole Kidman, was in rehabilitation
until late December for apparent alcohol abuse. He previously was treated for
cocaine abuse.
Autopsy plotted for Big Bopper
remains
By ELIZABETH A. DAVIS, Associated Press Writer
2 hours, 46
minutes ago
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. - The son of "The Big Bopper" has
hired a forensic anthropologist to try to answer questions about how his father
died in the 1959 plane crash that also took the lives of famous early rock `n'
rollers Buddy Holly and Ritchie Valens.
Jay Richardson, who performs
tribute shows as "The Big Bopper Jr.," hopes an examination of his father's
remains will settle rumors a gun might have been fired on board the plane, and
tell whether the Big Bopper might have survived the crash impact and died trying
to go for help.
"I'm not looking for any great bombshell, but then again
you never know," Richardson said in a recent phone interview from his home
outside Houston.
J.P "The Big Bopper" Richardson is buried in Beaumont,
Texas. After his remains are studied they will be reburied and a life-sized
statue put up aside the grave.
Jay Richardson never knew his father, who
soared to rock fame with his late `50s hit, "Chantilly Lace." His mother was
pregnant with him when his father died.
The rock 'n' roll stars died on
Feb. 3, 1959, when their four-passenger plane crashed after taking off from the
Mason City, Iowa, airport — a tragedy memorialized as "the day the music died"
in Don McLean's song "American Pie."
The group had been traveling by bus
on their "The Winter Dance Party" tour in the Midwest, but Holly chartered the
plane because the bus was cold and prone to breaking down.
Following a
concert in Clear Lake, Iowa, Waylon Jennings, a member of Holly's band, gave up
his seat on the plane to Richardson, who was feeling ill and seeking a shorter
trip to the next stop.
An autopsy was performed on the pilot's body, but
not on the others.
Dr. Bill Bass, founder of the research facility at the
University of Tennessee nicknamed the Body Farm, plans to study the remains in
March. He's an expert in determining identities and causes of death.
One
of the most famous cases Bass worked on was confirming the identity of the
Lindbergh baby who was kidnapped in 1932 and murdered.
In this case, Bass
said, his goal is to "document all the fractures and get an idea of how many
broken bones and which ones are critical and give them as much information as I
can about the crash and how it affected his father."
In its accident
report, the Civil Aeronautics Board said pilot error was the cause of the crash.
The report didn't mention a gun belonging to Holly that was found by a farmer
two months after the crash.
Newspaper accounts of the gun discovery
fueled rumors among fans that the pilot was somehow shot, causing the crash. The
owner of the flying service added to the conspiracy theory by insisting his
pilot was not at fault, saying the pilot must have been
"incapacitated."
No one has ever proved a gun was fired during the
flight.
X-rays of the bones should be able to show if the Bopper was hit
by a bullet because the lead in the bullet would leave debris.
"I don't
expect to find that," Richardson said. "If these rumors persist, I can tell you
Dad wasn't (shot). That's what I hope it comes to."
Another curious
finding at the crash was that Richardson's body was discovered nearly 40 feet
away from the wreckage, while the others were found in or near the plane.
Bass said examining the bones could determine whether the Bopper could
have moved himself from the wreckage or if he was thrown by the force of the
crash.
"I don't know how I would feel to know that my father died some
other way than what I believed most of my life," Richardson said.
Del Reeve's Memorial Service at the Ryman
Auditorium
I just returned home from the Del Reeve's Memorial Service,
held at the Ryman Auditorium, where he was inducted as a member in October 1966.
Eddie Stubbs, Grand Ole Opry announcer and WSM/AM disc-jockey presided over the
ceremonies, and as usual he was great, with many stories of Del's career, and
several radio exerpts from radio interviews he had done with Del. Truly the
interviews were who Del Reeve's was. Stu Phillips gave the opening prayer, but
took time out to remember some great times he enjoyed with his friend Del
Reeves.
Vince Gill sang "Go Rest High On The Mountain," as only Vince
Gill could do. He asked us to join with him on the chorus, and I tell you it was
chilling to hear everyone join in. I mean this sincerely, it sounded like a
special choir with each singer having a harmony part. It was absolutely
beautiful, and as usual when Vince sings his song, there were many tears of joy
and sadness. The Lord has gifted Vince Gill with a special way to touch people
with his voice.
Then Terry Choate a longtime successful member of our
music community and probably Del's closest friend spoke about Del with stories
of his first meeting and his last conversation, and in between, he spoke about
Del's awesome Good Time Charlie's Band with some great stories. George Owens who
played guitar and base with Del was with us in the audience and I know that he
must have been laughing when he heard Terry tell the stories. I can tell you
this friends, because I toured with Del many times, and Del Reeve's and The Good
Time Charlie's took no prisoners when before they hit the stage, while they were
on the stage and watch out after they left the stage. Now for those of you who
read this and don't understand what I am saying, it probably would be hard to
understand if you never had the privilege to tour with Del and his band. Back
then, that it when there was great entertainment, no prima dona's, no ego's with
road mgrs., just great talented groups, and Del Reeves was a teacher of
entertainment and of living life to its' fullest. He loved his family, his
music, his band, his friends and fans, and the Grand Ole Opry. Oh yea, George
Owen's looked great.
John & Audrey Wiggins who hail from N.C. also
and knew Del well, sang "Wayfaring Stranger," and if you have never heard them
sing before, then you have missed something special. They were
awesome.
The closing prayer was given by Bill McDonald from Centerville,
Tn., Del's home. I believe he probably was a minister in Centerville. He gave a
great prayer and read from the scriptures some of Del's favorite psalms.
To close the ceremonies, Billy Montana a singer, songwriting friend of
Del's, sang "Amazing Grace," and asked all to join with him to sing along if
they wished. Once again the voices in the Ole Ryman today were special as the
old church sounded like she saying "so long" to Del, but not goodbye.
I
know that Ellen, Del's wife and her and Del's three beautiful daughters must
have felt that special feeling that touched those who were in attendance, and
the ceremony was a ceremony of his life on this earth, and I know he must have
been watching, and if I know Del, he was trying to teach The Good Lord how to
phrase Doodle Loo Doooo Doooo. Isn't it funny that the "Girl on the Billboard,"
continues to live on and on, thanks to Del Reeve's.
Del's Grand Ole Opry
family were represented by Jack Greene, Jim Ed Brown, Charlie Louvin, Bill
Anderson, Vince Gill, former Grand Ole Opry backstage manager Jerry Stroebel,
backstage production manager Tim Thompson, and if I missed any Opry members I am
sorry. I know that Jeannie Seely and Jean Shepard were touring in Florida and
could not attend, and other Opry members were on tour. There was no one in
attendance that I seen from the front office of the Grand Ole Opry. Also in
attendance was Bobby Wright. Johnny Wright and Kitty Wells were not able to
attend, so Bobby was there for them also. As you may or may not know, Bobby and
Del were very, very close friends.
Also glad to see Penny DeHaven, Bill
Phillips, Ann Tant, Libby Griggs, Johnny Counterfit (Looked Great), Diane
Jordan, Rena Tessier, Norro Wilson, and so many more that were friends and
associates of Del, that I did not know.
Del Reeve's will be missed by the
Grand Ole Opry, his fellow Opry friends, the entire music industry and his fans.
His music will always be here, because who in the world will ever be able to
DOODLE LOO DOOOO DOOO.
Thanks to Eddie Stubbs for always being the
carrying the torch for country music with the living and with those that have
passed.
WANTED: 1948, TWO-TONED CADILLAC TO RE-CREATE
MUSICAL
HISTORY!
It could be said that “Rockabilly Music” was born, or delivered,
by a 1948 Cadillac. It was, after all, in a 1948 Cadillac four-door sedan that
Carl Perkins and his band rode from Jackson to Memphis, Tennessee for an
appointment with the legendary Sam Phillips of the Sun Record Company.
Out of that special meeting came the birth of a style of music that
would “rock” the world. A musical child that would later deliver legendary
artists such as Elvis, The Beatles, Eric Clapton and a host of other artists.
That new musical style was called “Rockabilly”, which later became known as
“Rock and Roll”.
The Cadillac which carried Carl and his band to Memphis
that special day was owned by two-time Grammy certificate winner and Jackson, TN
native, W.S. Holland. W.S. Holland received his Grammy certificates as the
drummer on Carl Perkin’s hit song “Blue Suede Shoes” and on Johnny Cash’s
mega-hit, “Ring of Fire”.
When Carl, along with his brothers Clayton and
J.B., and W.S. Holland arrived at this appointment with Sam Phillips, they
recorded Carl’s first song that would later drive “Rockabilly Music” around the
world.
Carl Perkins was the Grandaddy of them all, and was an
inspiration to many of these later artists. Among those artists influenced by
Carl Perkins were the Beatles. Beatles’ legend John Lennon was once quoted as
saying “I had only three childhood idols – Elvis, Jerry Lee and Carl Perkins.”
Paul McCartney, also legendary both from his Beatle’s days, as well as his days
with the “Wings”, remembered George Harrison adopting the pseudonym of “Carl
Harrison” after their first tour in 1960. George chose this pseudonym after his
idol, Carl Perkins, who had written “Blue Sueded Shoes.”
Yes, the special
meeting that took place at Sun Records that day impacted the world of music in
ways that we still enjoy today. To celebrate the memory of “Rockabilly” music’s
Carl Perkins and legendary record producer Sam Phillips, we would like to
re-create this history-making road-trip that brought Carl to Sun Records for the
first time.
We are looking to borrow a 1948, two-toned Cadillac,
four-door sedan, to be used in this re-enactment of the Birth of this legendary
movement in musical history. If you own, a car that matches this description,
and would be interested in having it used in this endeavor, please contact “The
International Rock-A-Billy Hall of Fame, Inc.”, 105 N.Church Street, Jackson,
Tennessee, 38301.\
Web site: www.rockabillyhall.org
Email:
rock@rockabillyhall.org
Telephone: 731-427-6262 (10:00 am – 4:00 pm
CDT)
WANTED: 1948, TWO-TONED CADILLAC TO RE-CREATE
MUSICAL
HISTORY!
It could be said that “Rockabilly Music” was born, or delivered,
by a 1948 Cadillac. It was, after all, in a 1948 Cadillac four-door sedan that
Carl Perkins and his band rode from Jackson to Memphis, Tennessee for an
appointment with the legendary Sam Phillips of the Sun Record Company.
Out of that special meeting came the birth of a style of music that
would “rock” the world. A musical child that would later deliver legendary
artists such as Elvis, The Beatles, Eric Clapton and a host of other artists.
That new musical style was called “Rockabilly”, which later became known as
“Rock and Roll”.
The Cadillac which carried Carl and his band to Memphis
that special day was owned by two-time Grammy certificate winner and Jackson, TN
native, W.S. Holland. W.S. Holland received his Grammy certificates as the
drummer on Carl Perkin’s hit song “Blue Suede Shoes” and on Johnny Cash’s
mega-hit, “Ring of Fire”.
When Carl, along with his brothers Clayton and
J.B., and W.S. Holland arrived at this appointment with Sam Phillips, they
recorded Carl’s first song that would later drive “Rockabilly Music” around the
world.
Carl Perkins was the Grandaddy of them all, and was an
inspiration to many of these later artists. Among those artists influenced by
Carl Perkins were the Beatles. Beatles’ legend John Lennon was once quoted as
saying “I had only three childhood idols – Elvis, Jerry Lee and Carl Perkins.”
Paul McCartney, also legendary both from his Beatle’s days, as well as his days
with the “Wings”, remembered George Harrison adopting the pseudonym of “Carl
Harrison” after their first tour in 1960. George chose this pseudonym after his
idol, Carl Perkins, who had written “Blue Sueded Shoes.”
Yes, the special
meeting that took place at Sun Records that day impacted the world of music in
ways that we still enjoy today. To celebrate the memory of “Rockabilly” music’s
Carl Perkins and legendary record producer Sam Phillips, we would like to
re-create this history-making road-trip that brought Carl to Sun Records for the
first time.
We are looking to borrow a 1948, two-toned Cadillac,
four-door sedan, to be used in this re-enactment of the Birth of this legendary
movement in musical history. If you own, a car that matches this description,
and would be interested in having it used in this endeavor, please contact “The
International Rock-A-Billy Hall of Fame, Inc.”, 105 N.Church Street, Jackson,
Tennessee, 38301.\
Web site: www.rockabillyhall.org
Email:
rock@rockabillyhall.org
Telephone: 731-427-6262 (10:00 am – 4:00 pm
CDT)
Loretta Lynn Still Going Strong
January 17, 2007 — After
more than four decades in country music, Loretta Lynn says she has no intention
of slowing down now. "I'm working on a gospel album, a Christmas album and a
greatest hits album," she told Chris Welch of the Huntsville Times.
Although health issues and the death of her husband, Oliver "Mooney"
Lynn, in 1998 forced her to scale back a bit in the '90s, Loretta came back in a
big way two years ago, winning Grammys for her acclaimed album Van Lear Roseand
for the song "Portland Oregon," a duet with Jack White, the album's producer and
the front man for two rock bands, the White Stripes and The Raconteurs.
"He sat and watched my movie in a theater, one show after another,"
Loretta said of Jack. "He apparently didn't get sick of watching the doggone
movie, and he told himself, when he got older he was going to produce that
lady."
Loretta says she had never heard of him until they worked
together on a show in New York. "I said, 'I've got to get ready to record an
album.' And he said, 'Can I produce you?' And I said, 'Why not?' He's a great
kid. I love Jack."
Now that her kids are grown, Loretta says she enjoys
writing and singing more than ever. "Slow down? What's that?" she said,
laughing. "I've got more energy today than I did when I was 16."
Loretta
says she still feels a strong connection to her fans. "I think people know I
live all my songs," she said. "I write them, but they know why I'm writing them.
I'm going to perform for as long as I want to. I still enjoy singing, and people
are living these songs, so I'd be silly not to go out and sing for them."
**** Amy's Kitchen
****
Fruit Salad
Combine And Refrigerate Overnight:
1 (21 Oz) Can Peach Pie
Filling (Chop The Peaches Up)
1 (20 Oz) Can Chunk Pineapple, Drained
1 (15
Oz) Can Mandarin Oranges, Drained
1 (24 Oz) Container Sliced Frozen
Strawberries (Thaw & Drain)
Before Serving Add Sliced Bananas And
Sliced Fresh Strawberries To
Taste.
Peggy, Odessa,
Tx
****
TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****
Why are there no left-handed catchers in
Major League Baseball?
 If you're a student of baseball, then you know
that the catcher has many different duties: choosing pitches and signalling them
to the pitcher; catching pitches; fielding pop-ups and bunts; tagging runners at
the plate; and finally, perhaps the most difficult task, throwing runners out
when they attempt to steal second or third base.
The very best catchers
in the Major Leagues rarely throw out even half of the runners that attempt
stolen bases. A slow delivery from the pitcher, an off-speed pitch, a pitch in
the dirt, or, of course, a speedy runner -- any of these complications can make
retiring a runner a difficult proposition.
So, you ask, how does being
left-handed interfere with throwing out baserunners? It has to do with the fact
that most batters are right-handed and therefore stand in the batter's box on
the left side of home plate. A left-handed catcher would need to throw through
that batter's box or move over and throw directly over the plate -- added
problems that would hinder even the most talented athlete.
Since most
baseball coaches, from Little League to the Majors, are aware of the inherent
difficulties of left-handed catching, they undoubtedly encourage talented
southpaws to find other positions on the diamond -- outfield, first base, or
even pitcher, where left-handedness is largely viewed as a competitive
advantage.
So, there you have it. The subtleties of handedness when it
comes to being a baseball catcher. Other positions where left- handedness is all
but unheard of: third base and shortstop.
Lefty catchers are rare, but
that's not to say that no left- handers have ever played the position. According
to links I visited both Mike Squires and Dale Long moved over from their regular
positions and played multiple games at catcher.
Perhaps most interesting
discovery was that the game's greatest player, Babe Ruth, was a left-handed
catcher. At the National Sports Gallery, we learned that a young Babe caught
left-handed, despite the lack of equipment. In his own words:
"We had no
catcher's mitt built for left handers, of course. We were lucky to have any kind
of mitt. I'd used the regular catcher's mitt on my left hand, received the throw
from the pitcher, take off the glove and throw it back to him left handed. When
I had to throw to a base, trying to catch a runner, I'd toss the glove away,
grab the ball with my left hand and heave it with everything I had."
****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
As the
horsepower in modern automobiles steadily rises, the congestion of traffic
steadily lowers the average possible speed of your car. This is known as
Progress
LAST CALL Y'ALL
 
HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA
HEAR!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out
there
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