|
From Carlisle
,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome
to The Funnies
"Friends
are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended
for younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can
repair almost anything.
Welcome New
Subscribers
If you don't have a
sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at
all
Anyone without a sense
of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help
Them
Remember,it is easier to get
older
than it is to get wiser
MONDAY JANUARY
29,2007
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: The
probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with
someone you do not want to be seen with.
"New Jersey is
trying to make it illegal to smoke in a car
while children are
in the car with you. Do you think that
will do much good? Which
is worse? The smoke in the car or
the air in New Jersey?" --Jay
Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You know what happened earlier tonight? The State of the
Union address. The speech was so dull, behind President
Bush, Nancy Pelosi and Dick Cheney were making out."
--Dave
Letterman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"World
Cup soccer fans in Germany are estimated at drinking
17 pints of
beer per day. Apparently after 17 beers soccer
becomes
interesting." --Conan O'Brien
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Using a new painting program
on my computer, I managed to
come up with a very credible still
life of fruit. I made
a color printout and sent it to my
daughter, a graphic
designer. She called when it arrived. "Isn't
it good?" I
asked.
She chuckled, and in a
tone that echoed mine from years ago,
replied, "Mom, it's
beautiful. We put it on the refrigerator." Using a new painting
program on my computer, I managed to
come up with a very
credible still life of fruit. I made
a color printout and sent
it to my daughter, a graphic
designer. She called when it
arrived. "Isn't it good?" I
asked.
She
chuckled, and in a tone that echoed mine from years ago,
replied, "Mom, it's beautiful. We put it on the
refrigerator." Using a new painting program on my computer, I
managed to
come up with a very credible still life of fruit. I
made
a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a
graphic
designer. She called when it arrived. "Isn't it good?"
I
asked.
She chuckled, and in a tone that
echoed mine from years ago,
replied, "Mom, it's beautiful. We
put it on the refrigerator." Using a new painting program on my
computer, I managed to
come up with a very credible still life
of fruit. I made
a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a
graphic
designer. She called when it arrived. "Isn't it good?"
I
asked.
She chuckled, and in a tone that
echoed mine from years ago,
replied, "Mom, it's beautiful. We
put it on the refrigerator." Using a new painting program on my
computer, I managed to
come up with a very credible still life
of fruit. I made
a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a
graphic
designer. She called when it arrived. "Isn't it good?"
I
asked.
She chuckled, and in a tone that
echoed mine from years ago,
replied, "Mom, it's beautiful. We
put it on the refrigerator." Using a new painting program on my
computer, I managed to
come up with a very credible still life
of fruit. I made
a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a
graphic
designer. She called when it arrived. "Isn't it good?"
I
asked.
She chuckled, and in a tone that
echoed mine from years ago,
replied, "Mom, it's beautiful. We
put it on the refrigerator." Using a new painting program on my
computer, I managed to
come up with a very credible still life
of fruit. I made
a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a
graphic
designer. She called when it arrived. "Isn't it good?"
I
asked.
She chuckled, and in a tone that
echoed mine from years ago,
replied, "Mom, it's beautiful. We
put it on the refrigerator." Using a new painting program on my
computer, I managed to
come up with a very credible still life
of fruit. I made
a color printout and sent it to my daughter, a
graphic
designer. She called when it arrived. "Isn't it good?"
I
asked.
She chuckled, and in a tone that
echoed mine from years ago,
replied, "Mom, it's beautiful. We
put it on the
refrigerator."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam
and Ruth from Maine had just bought a new car when winter
hit
with all its fury. "I wonder if the car has seat warmers,"
Ruth
wondered.
"It sure does," said Sam, looking through the
owner's manual.
"Here it is...rear
defrosters."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The
Reverend Jesse Jackson says that he will endorse Barack
Obama.
Experts say that this is risky for Jackson because not
much
rhymes with Obama." --Conan
O'Brien
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Today's the
anniversary of the microwave oven. Forty years
ago they
developed the microwave oven. Or as Kirstie Allie
calls it, the
world's longest 30-second wait."
--Dave
Letterman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I
got some details on Lindsay Lohan's rehab facilities.
They have
an onsite gourmet chef, personal trainers, beauty
consultants,
swimming pools, yoga, meditation... but you're
only allowed to
leave to go to work, parties, weddings, and
Lake Havasu for
spring break. I was planning to take a trip
to Cabo San Lucas
this summer, but now, I'm thinking maybe
I'll become an
alcoholic instead." --Jimmy
Kimmel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some of
the best Norm Peterson quotes from "Cheers":
"What's
shaking, Norm?"
"All four cheeks & a couple of
chins."
"What's new, Normie?"
"Terrorists,
Sam. They've taken over my stomach & they're
demanding
beer."
"What'd you like, Normie?"
"A reason
to live. Give me another beer."
"What'll you have,
Normie?"
"Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass
of
whatever comes out of the tap."
"Looks like
beer, Norm."
"Call me Mister Lucky."
"Hey
Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a
diaper."
"What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
"The Bobsey Twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the
happy
ending."
"Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for
you."
"I know, if she calls, I'm not here."
"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"A flashing sign in my
gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"
"Whatcha up to,
Norm?"
"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."
"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."
"How's life treating you, Norm?"
"Like it caught me
sleeping with its wife."
"Women. Can't live with 'em....
pass the beer nuts."
"What's going down,
Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."
"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Alright, but stop me
at one....make that one-thirty."
"How's it going, Mr.
Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing
Milk Bone
underwear."
"What's the story,
Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another
beer."
"Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"A little early, isn't it, Woody?"
"For a beer?"
"No, for stupid
questions."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I
worked as a technical-support specialist for a com-
puter
company, customer help calls ranged from the mundane
to the
bizarre.
One memorable problem I had to trouble-shoot came
from a
man who complained that every time he flushed his
toilet,
his computer would reboot.
It turned
out that he lived in a rural area with water
supplied by a well
with an electric pump. Every time he
flushed, it would turn on
the pump, causing a dip in the
electric power, which in turn
would cause the computer
to restart
itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK....all you wise guys from "Up Nawth", just a simple southern
exam for you.......
The Redneck Engineer
Challenge
We are sick and tired of hearing about how
dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called "smart" a** Yankee
to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter
on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound
possum.
2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest
when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A)
'65 Ford Fairlane ( B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle (C) '64 Pontiac
GTO.
3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to
condense the product?
4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which
operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested
is 470 per acre. The plot is
2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is
14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut
down?
5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch
centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is
16 feet.
The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch
collapses, how many dogs will be killed?
6. A man owns a Georgia
house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man
has five children. Can each of his grown
children place a mobile home on the
man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit
out front?
7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards
down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average
traffic
conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will
strike a vehicle with a muffler?
8. With a gene pool reduction of
7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the
Interstate to breed a
country-western singer?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Goofproof~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Morris realized he
needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he
felt unwilling to spend
much money. "How much do they cost?"
he asked the
salesperson.
"That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00
to $2,000."
"Let's see the $2.00 model," said Morris the
miser.
The salesperson put the device around Morris' neck.
"You just
stick this button in your ear and run this little
string down
to your pocket," he instructed.
"How does it work?" , asked Morris.
"For $2.00 it
doesn't work," the salesperson replied. "But
when people see it
on you, they'll talk
louder."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Order in class!
A
school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper
part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the
first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself
assigned to the toughest students in school.
Walking confidently into the
rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied
himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished
them. This happened several times.
When he could do work at his desk, the
strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging
and rearranging the tie as the class raised it's level of
unruliness.
Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up
and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several
places.
Discipline was not a problem from that day
forth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Goofproof~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shortly after surgery my
mom was transferred to a nursing home for
therapy. Since she was on a lot of
pain medication I went along to
answer any questions that might be difficult
for her to answer in her
drug induced state. To my amazement she was
answering all the questions
the home's doctor's asked clear and concisely.
Then he asked if she
still had any teeth. She replied every one of them.
Before I could say
anything the doctor (obviously impressed) asked if he
could see them.
Grinning a big toothless grin she said; "They're at home in
their case
on top of the toilet tank". We all liked to died laughing. Mom had
this
puzzled look when we started laughing which just made it that
much
funnier.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All
eyes were on the lovely bride as her father escorted her
down
the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom;
the
bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of
laughter. Even the pastor smiled broadly.
As her father
gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him
back a credit
card.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After watching Gary Grant on a
television broadcast, his mother, then in her nineties, reprimanded him for
letting his hair get so gray. "It doesn't bother me," he replied. "Maybe not,"
Mom said, " but it bothers me. It makes me seem so old."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A husband and wife were
arguing about an investment
the husband wanted to make.
In the midst of
the argument, he pointed out that men
had better judgment than women.
"Well, I guess you're right about that," replied the
wife. "You asked me
to marry you....and then I said
yes!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A church was looking for a
new minister, and the selection Committee
finally recommended a young man
just out of the Seminary. Many
older church members protested that a more
Experienced man would
have been preferable.
Committee members
retaliated with the argument that a younger
Minister might breathe fresh life
into the congregation. At the
end Of the meeting, I commented to an older man
that this marked
the Beginning of better things for our church.
"Yes,"
he said with a wry smile. "Moving on to greener
pastors."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old lady tottered into a
lawyer's office and asked for help in arranging a divorce.
"A divorce?" asked
the unbelieving lawyer. "Tell me, how old are you?"
"I'm eighty-four,"
answered the old lady.
"Eighty-four! And how old is your husband?"
"My
husband is eighty-seven."
"My, my," said the lawyer, "and how long have you
been married?"
"Next September will be sixty-two years."
"Married
sixty-two years?! Why would you want a divorce now?"
"Because," the woman
answered calmly, "enough is enough."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping
would be a snap if only she would organize her time better.
Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice
while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see
how he was managing, and he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted
it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards,
scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had
a
bath."
I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better
manager
than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was
making
the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the
mixer
before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to
do
all the rest."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tarzan and
Jane were expecting their fourth child and were
pretty strapped
for cash, so Tarzan decided to go into the
used-crocodile
business. Monday morning he got up early,
shaved, put on his
best loin cloth, swung down to the river,
and spent the whole
day fighting, haggling over and hassling
with cranky
crocs.
As dusk fell, a wan Tarzan swung back to the
treehouse and
demanded, "Quick, Jane, a martini!" Tossing it
back he
barked, "Another, Jane, on the double!" Gulping it down,
he
held out his glass again. "One more, Jane."
"Aw, honey, don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?" she
chided gently.
"You don't understand, Jane... it's a
jungle out there."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One evening a man
was very impressed with the meat entree his wife
had served. "What did you
marinate this in?" he asked.
His wife immediately went into a long
explanation about how much
she loves him and how life wouldn't be the same
without him, etc.
Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt
her answer
with a question of her own, "What did you ask me?"
She
chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me
if I would
marry you again!"
As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you
marry
me again?"
Without hesitation, she replied, "Vinegar and
barbecue sauce."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watching news shows on TV,
we find that our highways are not safe,
our streets aren't safe, our parks
aren't safe, our bridges are
not safe, our borders are open to the good, the
bad and the ugly
... but,
.... that under our arms we've got full
protection....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two longtime golfing
buddies got to the course one day and decided
that this day they would play
the ball where it lies . . .
"No matter what!"
On the 14th hole, one
of them sliced his drive and it ended up on the
cart path. As he reached down
to pick up his ball to get relief, his
friend said, "Wait a minute! We agreed
that we would not improve our
lies! Remember? No matter what!"
The
first player tried to explain that he was entitled to this
relief, that it
was in the rules of golf. But the second fellow would
not allow it. Throwing
up his hands in disgust, the man went to the
cart and grabbed a club. As he
stood near his ball, he took a few
practice swings, each time scraping the
club on the pavement and
sending out showers of sparks.
Finally, he
took his shot. The club hit the path again, sparks went
flying, but his ball
shot straight towards the green, landed and
rolled to a stop - two inches
from the cup.
"Great shot!" his friend exclaimed. "What club did you
use?"
The man gave him a wry smile, "Your 7
iron!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The little boy was caught swearing by his
teacher.
"Jeffrey," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind
of
language. Where did you hear it?"
"My daddy said it," he
responded.
"Well, that doesn't matter," she explained, "you
don't know
what it means."
"I do, too," Jeffrey corrected. "It means the
car
won't start."
**** Quickies ****
We wonder what would happen if the Internal Revenue
offered us our money back if we weren't satisfied.
~
In the good old days, two could live as
cheaply as one; nowadays, one can live as expensively as two.
~
Q: When
does a doctor suggest emergency surgery?
A: When he's ready for a new
sports car.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's
ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca
**** HEADS
UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes
Please Help
This is a link for
FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It
is excellent. I use it
myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
It takes less than a minute to go
to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in
the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate
mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
Here's the
web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to
click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated
every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to
go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This
doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the
number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in
exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link
for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U
Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject
Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** COUNTRY
CALENDAR ****
-28-
Bill Phillips born Canton, NC 1936.
Jim Rooney Grammy winning producer, born Boston, MA 1938.
Roy Acuff recorded "Wabash Cannonball," 1947.
Eddie Bayers, top studio drummer, born Pautaxant, MD
1949. Eddie won ACM's top Drummer award, five consecutive years.
Tommy Duncan released "Chattanoogie Shoe Shine Boy," 1950.
Barbi Benton born 1950.
Elvis debuted on National Television, on the Dorsey Brothers
"Stage Show," along with Scotty Moore and Bill Black in 1956.
Rose Maddox released "Hey Little Dream Boat," 1956.
Stonewall Jackson recorded "Don't Be Angry," at his debut
Columbia session 1957.
Buck Owens recorded "Together Again," and "My Heart Skips A
beat" 1964. Both sides of this single went to #1.
Marty Robbins released "Girl From Spanish Town/Kingston Girl"
1964.
Greg Cook of Ricochet born 1965.
Merle Haggard's "Carolyn" topped the charts in 1972.
Johnny Cash recorded "Ragged Old Flag," 1974.
Skeeter Willis, age 58, of "The Willis Brothers" died 1976.
Jimmy Fortune debuted with the Statler Brothers 1982.
Al Dexter, age 78, "Pistol Packin' Mama" died from a heart
attack in Lewisville, TX 1984.
Earl Taylor, age 54, singer-songwriter/musician, died 1984.
Tommy Jarrell fiddle/banjo died 1985.
RCA released "Essential Bobby Bare" 1997.
Capitol released Glen Campbell's "All the Best" 2003.
-29-
Al Stricklin, piano player with Bob Wills' Texas Playboys, born
Antioch, TX 1908.
Lloyd Wilson Perryman, "Sons of the Pioneers," born Ruth, AK
1917.
Little Jimmy Sizemore born Paintsville, KY 1928. Little
Jimmy became a cast member of the Grand Ole Opry at age five, working with his
father Asher Sizemore.
Tanya Tuckers parents, Beau Tucker and Juanita Cunningham, were
both 15 years old when they married in 1943.
Johnny Wakley, singer/guitarist, born Hollywood, CA 1944.
Patsy Sledd born Falcon, MO 1944.
Theron E. Hale, age 70, Grand Ole Opry member died 1954.
Irlene Mandrell born Corpus Christi, TX 1957.
Sonny James' "You're The Only World I Know," topped the charts
1965.
"The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour," debuted on CBS 1969.
Kenny Rogers "Lucile" debuted on the charts 1977.
Kenny Rogers & Sheena Easton's #1 duet "We've Got Tonight"
charted 1983.
TNN's Talk Show "Crook and Chase," debuted 1986.
Randy Travis' album "Always And Forever," certified double
platinum 1988.
EMI America released "Legendary Masters: Eddie Cochran"
1990.
Jeff Bates gave a showcase for RCA executives, and was offered a
contract 2002.
Martina McBride and Alan Jackson opened their joint 2004 tour in
Moline, IL.
**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS
****
Miranda Lambert Hits the Road In Style
January 26, 2007 — Miranda Lambert opened for Toby Keith last night in
Albany, N.Y., in the first show of Toby's "Hookin' Up and Hangin' Out" tour.
Before setting out, Miranda told Westwood One that she was especially excited
about her new tour bus.
Miranda explained that being the only female on
the road with 11 people, she had to have her own space. "I couldn't wait to get
something that was mine and built for me," she said. "It makes it easy to be on
road."
The bus was designed by Junk Gypsy, who does all Miranda's
merchandise. "It's absolutely amazing," Miranda says. "You walk in and you don't
feel like you're on a bus; you feel like you're in a house. It's so cool."
Personal details include Merle Haggard lyrics on the ceiling. Miranda describes
it as "a cowgirl rock 'n roll bus. I can't wait to get on the road and spend
time in it."
CRYSTAL
GAYLE’s TOUR BUS RECOVERED WITH FUGITIVE ON BOARD
From
Prostitution Sting to Evading Police, Fugitive finally caught in Daytona Beach,
Florida on Crystal Gayle’s bus
Nashville, TN – Country music legend
CRYSTAL GAYLE and her “tour bus” have been the topic of conversation within the
media community over the last 2-3 days and finally some closure to the saga. The
45’ blue Prevost that carries Crystal Gayle across the country to perform for
fans night-after-night, was stolen in Pleasant View, Tennessee, from the Prevost
lot by fugitive Christopher Daniel Gay.
Gay who was running from police
used Gayle’s bus to travel from Tennessee to Florida. On Thursday night, Gayle
was informed of the stolen bus and although not mad at the situation as it was
out of her control, she wished for no harm to anyone and for the fugitive to
turn himself in so he could see his dying mother.
The drama continued
until late Friday night when Gay was seen in the bus after dropping off a
prostitute in the area police were conducting an undercover prostitution sting.
Police pulled the bus over and Gay was arrested without incident.
“I am
relieved that nobody was hurt,” says Gayle. “I do know that the bus must have
been rocking and rolling with a prostitute on board and we’ll have to do some
cleaning with Clorox,” laughs Gayle. The condition of the bus is still
unknown.
In the meantime, Gayle and her husband/manager Bill Gatzimos
have been in contact with Gay’s sister Leann. “Leann wanted to apologize to us
for what her brother had done,” says Gatzimos.
Steel Guitar picker (hall of fame member ) Mr. Tommy
Morrell is in serious condition in a Dallas, Texas hospital
A
well known steel guitar picker (hall of fame member ) Mr. Tommy Morrell is in
serious condition in a Dallas, Texas hospital. We would greatly appreciate
everyone that will, to pray for Mr. Morrell.
Thank you sincerely.
Pete
Waller
**** Amy's
Kitchen ****
CROCK O'
MINI MEATBALLS
3 pounds
frozen fully cooked small meatballs
3 ounces strawberry
preserves
7 ounces catsup
Heat catsup and preserves in a small pan just for a minute
or so until fully melted togeter. Pour over meatballs into
a
crockpot just to coat and heat on low covered for 3 hours,
gently stirring just a few times during cooking. Or, simmer
in a covered pan on low for 1 hour and just keep warm in a
crockpot.
Yield: About 15 Appetizer
portions
**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****
When a war movie is filmed, where do they
find all those WWII tanks and planes?
 There are a lot of WWII planes of all
nations still around, and lots of old American Sherman Tanks. However, most movies that I have seen use
newer American tanks to represent German Tiger and Panther tanks. For instance,
"Battle of the Bulge", "To Hell and Back", and other old movies use American
M-47's (1950's vintage) to represent German Tigers. In fact, the only movies I
can recall that used real German tanks are "Kelly's Heroes" and "Saving Private
Ryan". However, in both those movies the Tiger tanks' turrets and upper hulls
appear to be built on top of Russian T-34 chassis.
****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
I believe no problem is so
large or so difficult that it can't be blamed
on somebody else.
LAST CALL Y'ALL
A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the
Interstate
One day. So she eases it
Over onto the shoulder of the road. She
carefully
Steps out of the car
And opens the trunk. She takes out two
cardboard
Men, unfolds them
And stands them at the rear of the vehicle
facing
Oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench
coats
Exposing their nude
Bodies to approaching drivers...
Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled
and
Backed up. It
Wasn't very long before a police car
arrives.
The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the
blonde
Of the disabled
Vehicle yelling, "What is going on
here?"
"My car broke down, Officer" says the
woman,
Calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene
cardboard
Pictures doing here
By the road?!" asks the Officer...
"Oh, those are my emergency flashers!" she
replied.
BABS
   HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA
HEAR!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out
there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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