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February07, 2007 - The Daily Funnies >> |
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From Carlisle
,Indiana
U.S.A. ![]() Welcome to The Funnies "Friends
are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However, They are, PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair almost anything. Welcome New
Subscribers WEDNESDAY FEBUARY 7,2007 To my darling husband, Before you return from your overseas
trip I just want to let you know
about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and
when I turned into the driveway I
accidentally pushed down on the
accelerator instead of the brake. The
garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your
kind-hearted personality you
will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you. I
cannot wait to hold you in my arms
again. Your loving wife.
PS: Your girlfriend
called...
"Hey, you know
what's fun to do if the game's a little slow?
I like to look at the quarterback and then try to figure out which one will be the big, fat, bald announcer in five years." --Jay Leno ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Tonight is an anniversary for Paul and myself. Twenty-five years ago tonight we stared back at NBC. I'd still be there, but they caught me making personal calls." Dave Letterman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Food addicts are the people I feel sorriest for because that's really hard. You need to eat. You don't need to do drugs. Very hard for these people to quit. "I'm going cold turkey... mmmmm turkey. Do not think about food... do not think about food... do not... nuts..." --Craig Ferguson ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I bought a great new toilet seat recently. On the label was a suggestion on how to clean it. Although nice to have the option, I doubt I'll take advantage of it. My toilet seat, it seems, is "Dishwasher Safe." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My in-laws gave us a beautiful knife set--top quality. The accompanying cutting board, however, was a different story. On the wrapping around it was printed this warning: "Opening with sharp object may damage this product." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A terrific explosion occurs in a gunpowder factory, and once all the mess has been cleared up, and inquiry begins. One of the few survivors is pulled up to make a statement. "Okay Simpson," says the investigator, "you were near the scene - what happened ?" "Well, it's like this. Old Charley Higgins was in the mixing room, and I saw him take a cigarette out of his pocket and light up." "He was smoking in the mixing room ?" the investigator said in stunned horror, "How long had he been with the company?" "About 20 years, sir" "20 years in the company, then he goes and strikes a match in the mixing room, I'd have thought it would have been the last thing he'd have done." "It was, sir." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to expectations. The sergeant threatened to send them all back three weeks to start over. Apparently, at least one new soldier was already reconsidering his career choice. As the sergeant's threat hung in the air, an anonymous voice called out, "How about sending us back FOUR weeks?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska--a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog team instead of a car. "If we decided to live there permanently, away from civilization, what would you miss the most?" he asked his wife. She replied, "You." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Our son, who's in the Army stationed in Georgia, invited my husband and me for a visit. After driving endlessly through unfamiliar streets in search of an entrance to Fort Stewart, my husband suddenly said, "We're getting closer." "How do you know?" I asked. He pointed to a sign that read, "Sonny's Bar-B-Q--Tank Parking Available." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man and his wife were lying in bed the other night when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled, "What 20 Million American Women Want." He grabbed the book out of her hands and started thumbing through the pages. His wife was a little annoyed. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" He calmly replied, "I just wanted to see if they spelled my name right." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sally purchased an answering machine with a prerecorded message that used a male voice. She chose not to record a new message. The next Saturday she was "screening" her calls. The phone rang and the machine answered... After the message, there was a pause and the caller hung up. The phone rang a second time -- the same result. Then the phone rang a third time, and the person said: "This is your mother, I think. If I am, please call me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man needing some legal help walks into a law firm... He asks an attorney, "If I give you $300 per hour to help answer two legal questions I have, will you help me?" The attorney aswers, "Sure, what's the other question?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man has not been feeling well and goes to the doctor for a check up. After the physical examination and a battery of blood tests and X-rays, he asks the doctor about his situation. The doctor replies, "You are very sick. You might not live longer than perhaps three or four months." The man, in despair, yet, with a glimpse of hope says, "If you don't mind, doctor, I would like to have a second opinion." "Okay," the doctor answers, "you're ugly, too!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Margaret had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in and told the cabbie the address to go to. The cabbie turned out to be a lunatic driver and Margaret sat in the backseat clutching the door handle wondering if she could expect to survive this trip. The cabdriver sped through the crowded NYC streets, weaving in and out of traffic. Margaret watched as one pedestrian after another leapt aside to avoid being run down by her lunatic driver. Margaret looked ahead and saw a truck double parked on the narrow street. Not only did the driver fail to slow down, he actually accelerated as he approached the truck. He slipped his cab through the available space with an inch or two to spare on either side. "Driver," Margaret screamed, "Are you crazy?? Are you trying to get us both killed?" "Relax lady," he said. "Just do what I do. Close your eyes." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God
meets Sign
at a propane filling station: "Thank heaven for little
grills." Shirley's ressypees e-zine We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular recipe, send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca SUBSCRIBE RessyPees-subscribe@yahoogroups.com &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& ![]() &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& You can join The Funnies IT'S FREE To subscribe, Click on link below 25438-subscribe@zinester.com &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Welcome to The Funnies ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤
We begin with an Adorable Piece ...
sure to bring you a few chuckles. ••• Thanks o Gene in New
Mexico!!!
Sooooooo adorable!! Enjoy!! The reason a dog has so many
friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous
Don't accept your dog's admiration
as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful
-Ann Landers
If there are no dogs in Heaven, th
en when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers
There is no psychiatrist in the
world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams
A dog is the only thing on earth
that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billi ngs
The average dog is a nicer person
than the average person.
-Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare,
space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all.
It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite
their enemies, quite unlike people,
who are incapable of pure love and
always have to mix love and hate
-Sigmund Freud
I wonder if other dogs think
poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity,
perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap
tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about
immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very,
very few p
If your dog is fat, you aren't
getting enough exercise
-Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy
because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog
money.
-Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must
think of us? I mean, here we come from a grocery with the most amazing haul,
chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on
earth!
-Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they
please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein
If you pick up a starving dog and
make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference
between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a
dog, and the dog will give you a look that says,
'Wow, you're right! I never
would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but
they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try
putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of
them.
-Phil Pastoret
My goal in life is to be as good a
person as my dog thinks I am.
"One of the hardest things in life
to learn is which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn"
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After an overnight flight to meet
my father at his latest military
assignment, my mother wearily
arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base in Germany
with my eight siblings and me - all
under age 11. Collecting our many
suitcases, the ten of us entered
the cramped customs area. A young
customs official watched our
entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he said,
"do all these children and this
luggage belong to you?"
"Yes, sir," my mother said with a
sigh. "They're all mine."
The customs agent began his
interrogation: "Ma'am, do you have any
weapons, contraband or illegal
drugs in your possession?"
"Sir," she calmly answered,
"if I'd had any of those items,
I would have used them by
now."
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A New York family bought a ranch
out West where they intended to
raise cattle. Friends came to
visit and asked if the ranch had a
name.
"Well," said the
would-be-cattleman. "I wanted to call it the
Bar-J. My wife favored the Suzy-Q.
One son liked the Flying-W,
and the other son wanted the
Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the
Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y."
"But where are all your
cattle?"
"So far, none have survived the
branding."
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Two babies were sat in their cribs,
when one baby shouted to the
other, "Are you a little girl or a
little boy?"
"I don't know," replied the other
baby giggling.
"What do you mean, you don't know?"
said the first baby.
"I mean I don't know how to tell
the difference," was the reply.
"Well, I do," said the first baby
chuckling. "I'll climb into
your crib and find
out."
He carefully maneuvered himself
into the other baby's crib, then
quickly disappeared beneath the
blankets. After a couple of
minutes, he resurfaced with a big
grin on his face. "You're a
little girl, and I'm a little boy,"
he said proudly.
"You're ever so clever," cooed the
baby girl, "but how can you
tell?"
"It's quite easy really," replied
the baby boy, "you've got pink
booties and I've got blue
ones."
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A young couple got married, and
when the wife prepared to bake
a ham to celebrate their first
Thanksgiving, she carefully cut
off each end before placing it in
the pan. Her husband asked
her why she did that and she
replied, "I don't know--it's what
my mother always did. But I can ask
her."
She called Mom, who responded, "I
always saw your Grandma do
it, so I did the
same."
They decided to check further, so
the young bride then called
Grandma, who explained, "It was the
only way I could get it to
fit into my pan."
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Why Cats Are Better Than
Men
-----------------------------------
A cat always hits the
litterbox.
You have a better chance of
training a cat.
You never have to spend time with
your cat's mother.
If you ask enough times, a cat may
actually LISTEN to you.
You can de-claw a cat... try to get
a guy to clip his toenails.
It's okay if a cat rubs up against
your best friend.
A cat knows you're the key to his
happiness... a man thinks He is.
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One-Liners
-------------------
"When I was a kid, we walked 10
miles to school every day,
sometimes in the rain or snow. Man,
did we feel stupid when
we found out there was a bus.
--Brian Auten
"I don't know what's wrong with my
television set. I was
getting C-Span and the Home
Shopping Network on the same
station. I actually bought a
congressman." --Bruce Baum
"Conscience is the inner voice that
warns us somebody is
looking." --Henry Louis
Mencken
Where there's a will, there's an
Inheritance Tax
Why did the banks use all that
space and money to construct
so many teller stations, then never
have more than two or
three in use?
Marathon runners with bad footwear
suffer the agony
of defeat. --Steven
Wright
When I get real bored, I like to
drive downtown and
get a great parking spot, then sit
in my car and count
how many people ask me if I'm
leaving.
Yesterday I parked my car in a
tow-away zone...when I
came back the entire area was
missing.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't
want to have to
paint it.
I hate it when my foot falls asleep
during the day
because that means it's going to be
up all night.
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**** HEADS UP FOLKS
****
These Are My Causes Please
Help
This is a link for FREE virus
protection
It is excellent. I use it
myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue
Donation/Transplanation
It takes less than a minute to go
to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the
middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number
of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for
advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along
to people you know.
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having
trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated
every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to
go
to their site and click on "feed an
animal in need" for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number
of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along
to people you know!
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"Heeeeeeey!"
An expert on whales was telling
friends about some of the unusual
findings he had made. "For
instance," he said, "some whales can
communicate at a distance
of 300 miles."
"What on earth would one whale say
to another 300 miles away?"
asked a
sarcastic member of the group.
"I'm not absolutely sure," answered
the expert, "but it sounds
something like this:
"Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww!"""????
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Subject: My resume FROM GENE IN NEW
MEXICO
1. My first job was working in an
Orange Juice
factory, but I got canned. I
couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a
Lumberjack, but I
just couldn't hack it, so they gave
me the axe.
3. After that, I tried to be a
Tailor, but I just
wasn't suited for it - mainly
because it was a sew-sew
job.
4. Next, I tried working in a
Muffler Factory, but
that was too
exhausting.
5. Then, I tried to be a Chef -
figured it would add a
little spice to my life, but I just
didn't have the
thyme.
6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker,
but any way I
sliced it I couldn't cut the
mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but
eventually I found
I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become
a Doctor, but I
didn't have any
patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe
Factory. I tried but I
just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional
Fisherman, but discovered
that I couldn't live on my net
income.
11. I managed to get a good job
working for a Pool
Maintenance Company, but the work
was just too
draining.
12. So then I got a job in a
Workout Center, but they
said I wasn't fit for the
job.
13. After many years of trying to
find steady work, I
finally got a job as a Historian -
until I realized
there was no future in
it.
14. My last job was working in
Starbucks, but I had to
quit because it was always the same
old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND
FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT
FOR THE JOB! LIFE IS
GOOD!!
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ANOTHER GREAT CLASSIC
-
There are several men sitting
around in the locker room of a
private club after exercising.
Suddenly a cell phone on one
of the benches rings. One of
the men picks it up, and the
following conversation
ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, it's me. Are
you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I am at the
mall two blocks from where you are.
I just saw a beautiful mink
coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!!
Can I buy it?"
"What's the
price?"
"Only
$1,500.00."
"Well, OK, go ahead and get
it, if you like it that much ... "
"Ahhh, and I also stopped by
the Mercedes dealership and
saw the 2001 models. I saw
one I really liked. I spoke
with the salesman, and he gave me a
really good price ...
and since we need to exchange the
BMW that we bought last
year ... "
"What price did he quote
you?"
"Only $60,000 ...
"
"OK, but for that price I
want it with all the options."
"Great! But before we
hang up, something else ... "
"What?"
"It might look like a lot,
but I was reconciling your bank
account and ... I stopped by the
real estate agent this
morning and saw the house we
had looked at last year.
It's on sale!!
Remember? The one with a pool, English
Garden, acre of park area,
beachfront property ..."
"How much are they
asking?"
"Only $450,000 - a
magnificent price...and I see that we
have that much in the bank to cover
... "
"Well, then go ahead and buy
it, but just bid $420,000. OK?"
"OK, sweetie ...
Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye ... I do too ...
"
The man hangs up, closes the
phone's flap, and raises
his hand while holding the phone
and asks to all those present:
"Does anyone know who this
phone belongs to?"
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During a practical exercise at a
military police base, the
instructor was giving the class
instruction in unarmed
self-defense.
After he presented a number of
different situations in which
they might find themselves, he
asked a student, "What steps
would you take if someone were
coming at you with a big,
sharp knife?"
The student replied, "Great BIG
ones."
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Deciding to take up jogging, the
middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available
at the local sports shoe store. ≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥
Feline Physics Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest
will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as
the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤
The doctor asked her all the usual
questions, about
symptoms, how long had they been
occurring, etc, when she
interrupted him,
"Hey look, I'm a vet and I don't
need to ask my patients
these kind of questions. I can tell
what's wrong just by
looking." She smugly added, "Why
can't you?"
The doctor nodded, stood back,
looked her up and down,
quickly wrote out a prescription,
handed it to her and said,
"There you are. Of course, if that
doesn't work, we'll have
to put you to sleep."
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Two confirmed bachelors sat
talking. Their conversation
drifted from politics to cooking.
"I got a cookbook once,"
said the first, "but I could never
do anything with it."
"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?"
asked the second.
"You said it. Every one of the
recipes began the
same way 'Take a clean dish
and....'"
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If you don't have a sense of humor, you
probably
don't have any sense at all! Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them! Remember,it is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. . . . ≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥
**** Reader's Submissions **** WARM HEARTS By: Joseph J. Mazzella The cold weather of Winter returned to the mountains of my home recently. Several inches of fresh snow fell again covering the landscape in white. Steam rose from my breath as I walked my dogs outside. A quiet peace filled the woods around me as I smiled and breathed in deep the chill of the air. I didn't mind that my nose was numb and my fingers felt like ice. I didn't mind that my feet were cold and my lips were chapped. I didn't even mind that my middle-aged bones were aching a bit. I didn't mind any of it, because my heart was warm. My heart was warm with the beauty of the evening sunset over the far mountains. My heart was warm with the delight of watching my dogs jumping joyfully in the snow. My heart was warm with the peace and love of God that I felt within me and all around me while I walked over this sparkling field of white. I was thinking too that if God can keep our hearts warm in the middle of a cold Winter's day then God can keep our hearts warm in the middle of a sometimes cold world. Yes, this world is often full of heart freezing hate, bone chilling apathy, and bitterly cold meanness. Sometimes we worry about even going out in it for fear that it will turn our own souls to ice. God's love, however, is always there waiting to keep us warm and waiting to help us warm the world around us as well. God loves us so much. He gives us so much peace, love, joy, beauty, and delight to warm our hearts, souls, and minds. He gives us so many opportunities to choose and share this glorious warmth everyday of our lives. He gives us all the chance to be one with Him and to help Him bring this warmth to the world. It is up to us, however. We can wrap ourselves and others in the warm coat of God's love and joy or we can continue to shiver out in the cold. **** ON THIS DAY ****
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. http://www.thebreastcancersite.com & The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know! http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is a link for FREE virus protection http://avast.com It is excellent ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ![]() ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -7- Moran Lee "Dock" Boggs, early recording artist, born West Norton, VA 1898. "Austin" Ambrose Allen, of the Allen Brothers, born Sewanee, TN 1901. Wilma Lee Cooper born, Valley Head, WV 1921. Warren Smith, SUN recording artist, born Humphreys County, MS 1933. "Donna" Laverne Stoneman, born Alexandria, VA 1934. Tony Booth born Tampa, FL 1943. Marty Robbins, "Mr. Teardrop," joined the Grand Ole Opry 1953. Jim Reeves, "Gentleman Jim," recorded "Four Walls," for RCA 1957. Johnny Cash's "Ballad Of A Teenage Queen," topped the charts 1958. Garth Brooks, born "Troyal Garth Brooks" Tulsa, OK 1962. Patsy Clines last recording session was held at Bradley's Barn in 1963. Patsy died in a plane crash on May 5, 1963. Buck Owens released "Roll Out The Red Carpet" 1966. Moran Lee "Dock" Boggs, died on his birthday 1971. John Conlee joined the Grand Ole Opry 1981. Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash appeared on the David Letterman Show 1985. Pie Plant Pete "Claude J. Moye," star of the WLS National Barn Dance, died 1988. Dale Evans, age 88, widow of Roy Rogers, died in California 2001. Dale wrote "The Bible Tells Me So" and Roy's theme song "Happy Trails To You." Member National Cowgirl Hall Of Fame.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007 – Marty Stuart has been tapped to host the 9th Annual Grammy Foundation Music Preservation Project, "The Soul of Country," on Thursday, Feb. 8 in Los Angeles. "The Soul of Country" celebrates the history of country music with performances and appearances by new and old Grammy winners and nominees. Stuart, who is nominated this year for "Best Bluegrass Album" for "Live at the Ryman," will also play an unplugged solo mandolin performance, before he welcomes special guests including Deana Carter, Shooter Jennings and the .357's, Joe Nichols, Charley Pride, LeAnn Rimes and Porter Wagoner. Also in attendance will be Solomon Burke, Academy Award nominee Terrence Howard, Carrie Underwood, and Recording Academy and Grammy Foundation President Neil Portnow. "Country music is America's music," said Stuart. "For the Grammy Foundation to recognize its cultural impact is an award within itself. I'm honored to be a part of such an event." "The Soul of Country" will
showcase footage from the archives of the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum
and will celebrate the contributions of country music to the American cultural
landscape. The event will feature highlight films from the Grand Ole Opry and
live musical performances. Tuesday, February 6, 2007 – After an 11-year absence, Reba McEntire is returning to CMA Fest. McEntire last participated in the June event in 1996 when Fan Fair was still at the Tennessee State Fairgrounds and audiences were capped at 25,000 people due to space limitations. "I am thrilled for the opportunity to perform at the CMA Music Festival," said McEntire. "It's been 11 years since I've had a chance to be in Nashville for this amazing week, and the CMA has done a great job of growing the event during that time. I'm looking forward to being a part of it all once again." "Reba McEntire is a true trailblazer, having elevated Country Music's profile throughout her career while being a successful actress, charitable spokesperson, and respected businesswoman," said CMA Fest Chief Operating Office Tammy Genovese. "We are excited to welcome her back to CMA Music Festival." The festival will be held Thursday through Sunday, June 7-10, in downtown Nashville. The lineup of artists includes Jason Aldean; Little Big Town; Martina McBride; Sugarland; The Wreckers, in their debut appearance at the fest and current CMA Female Vocalist of the Year and Horizon Award winner Carrie Underwood. Other artists scheduled to perform include Bomshel, Catherine Britt, Luke Bryan, Sonny Burgess, Carolina Rain, Eric Church, Cole Deggs & the Lonesome, Heartland, Jypsi, Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Blaine Larsen, The Lost Trailers, Neal McCoy, The Oak Ridge Boys, Jamie O'Neal, Jake Owen, Danielle Peck, Pirates of the Mississippi, Pam Tillis, and Chris Young. Additional artists will be announced in the coming weeks. "The Country Music industry first welcomed me into their community at the CMA Music Festival in 2005, and since then, my peers and my fans have been so gracious," said Underwood. "I cannot wait to see my fans and meet and create new ones at this year's event. See you in June!" "Last year's stadium performance during CMA Music Festival was one of the true highlights of my summer," says Aldean. "The energy from all the fans was electric. I look forward to doing it again in 2007." "Country Music fans are so loyal and CMA Music Festival is the greatest way for us to reach them - the most dedicated fans in the world," said Kimberly Roads of Little Big Town. "We look forward to that special week in June every year when we get to say 'Thank you' to them personally for their support." "We have such great fans who stayed through the rain last year to see us play," exclaimed Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland. "This year we are excited to have a chance to play a full set in good weather for all those fans who stayed and those who were rained out!" The festival will be held
Thursday through Sunday, June 7-10, in downtown Nashville.
Tuesday, February 6, 2007 – Toby Keith will put out "Big Dog Daddy," his second disc on his own label, in June 12. This marks the first album that Keith will oversee as the sole producer. Keith also took on a lot of the vocals - lead and background - on the album including all of the vocals on the debut single, "High Maintenance Woman." Already playing it in
concert, "High Maintenance Woman," will be out as a single Feb. 12.
1950s singer
Frankie Laine dies at 93 Combine all
ingredients in crock pot. Cook until vegetables are tender, (usually 6
hours). Can be cooked on stove top. Cooking time will be considerably
shorter. What is in Irish
coffee?
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