|
From Carlisle
,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome
to The Funnies
"Friends
are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended
for younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can
repair almost anything.
Welcome New
Subscribers
If you don't have a
sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at
all
Anyone without a sense
of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help
Them
Remember,it is easier to get
older
than it is to get wiser
WEDNESDAY FEBUARY 21,2007
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
A personal letter is better than a phone call, no matter what the phone company
says. A phone call disappears as soon as the receiver is put back on the hook. A
good letter can last a
lifetime.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Signs
That It's Time To Do The Laundry
You're wearing your last pair of
underwear in the shower consistently.
You've worn your sheets to school
because you can't get them off of you.
Your socks act like a shirt does
when its heavily starched and emit a serious funk.
Your roommate walks
around wearing a full body medical suit like they did in the movie "Outbreak" to
avoid catching the Ebola virus.
The Snuggle Bear on the softener bottle
officially died last week.
The DEA's drug sniffing dog is always coming
by to sniff your laundry because the strong stench makes him think you have 28
tons of pot in your closet.
Even after sewing 28 spring scented dryer
sheets to the inside of your shirt, your friends still say you reek.
The
phrase "Wash Me" is visibly written in your jeans.
Your red T-shirt is
now green.
The boss pulls you aside to remind you that your company's
casual days does not include your college graduation gown and scuba diving
fins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
''You
know what,'' asked little 5 yr old Jenny, ''Mommy's in two rooms at the same
time.'' ''How's that?'' asked her 10 year old sister. ''Well that's simple,''
she replied staring at her Mom's dentures. ''Mommy's body is in the living room
and her teeth are in the bathroom!''
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now that they are
retired, my mother and father are
discussing all the aspects of their
future.
"What will you do if I die before you do?" Dad asked Mom.
After
some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a
house-sharing
situation with three other single or widowed
women who might be a little
younger than herself, since she
is so active for her age.
Then Mom asked
Dad, "What will you do if I die first?"
He replied, "Well, probably the same
thing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Mitt Romney is
now running for president on the Republican
ticket. I really
like his campaign slogan: 'Mitt Happens.'"
--Jimmy
Kimmel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Presidential
candidate Tom Vilsack... not a lot of name re-
cognition there.
Be honest. Before you came here today, how
many had heard the
name Vilsack? How many thought it was a
pickle?" -Jay
Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't even know why I
try. My Valentine's dinner was very
embarrassing. My date, after
dinner, went around the bar
handing out her card." -Dave
Letterman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Millions
of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.
One day,
some primitive guys were watching their wives drag
a dead
mastodon to the food & fire area. It was exhausting
work;
the guys were getting tired just watching.
Then they noticed
some large, smooth, rounded boulders and
they had a great idea!
They could sit on top of the boulders
and get a better view of
their wives working.
This was the first in a series of
breakthroughs that ulti-
mately led to television...and later to
the remote control.
--Dave
Berry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A magician calls a
man up on stage, hands him a mallet and
instructs the guy to hit
him as hard as possible on the head.
The magician then
proceeds to put his head down on a wooden
block.
The man shrugs his shoulders and takes a mighty swing.
Three years later, the magician wakes up from a coma in the
hospital and goes....
"Taa-Daa!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On her first morning delivering newspapers, my daughter was
riding with her supervisor who was showing her some tricks of the trade. He
proceeded to demonstrate how to throw a newspaper accurately. "Now remember," he
warned, "it's 5:30 in the morning, so you don't want to make a big ruckus. This
customer likes his paper right on his front porch."
The supervisor then
hurled the paper toward the house. It landed on the customer's car and set off
the alarm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman who works for the state
of Louisiana
got a call from a man who paused when she told him the name of her agency. He
then asked her to repeat it. "It's the Governor's Office for Elderly Affairs,"
she told him again.
There was another pause. "For gosh sakes, sign me
up," he said. "I didn't do too well when I was young."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the wise company president
learned that his employees were tanking
up on no-trace vodka martinis during
their lunch hours, he issued the
following
memo:
To all employees;
If you must drink during your lunch hours, please
drink whiskey. It is
better for our customers to know you're drunk than
to think you're
stupid.
- Problem Drinking at Work? . . Now
solved!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOOF IN MOUTH
One of the
customers who frequented the jewelry store where I worked bought many statues of
horses from us. She asked me to keep her in mind when I was on buying trips. The
day after I returned from one business trip she came into the store and asked if
I'd seen any. Without thinking, I replied, "Oh, Mrs. Pumplechuck, every time I
see a horse I think of
you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The woman who
called was most apologetic. She was 20 minutes late for an appointment with my
boss, but she said she had no idea how to get to our office. I glanced out the
window overlooking our parking lot and happened to see a lady sitting in her car
with a cell phone to her ear. "Do you by any chance drive a red four-door car?"
I asked. "Well, yes, I do," she replied slowly, and then after a moment's pause,
added sheepishly, "I guess I'm
here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My uncle had decided to sell his truck and trailer at a lot
across town. When he arrived there, he realized he'd left the registration at
home. The saleswoman told him he could use the black loaner car with the keys in
it to drive back through the heavy rainstorm. At home, he quickly listened to
his answering machine. The last message was from the frantic saleswoman asking
him to bring the car back right away. The one he had taken belonged to a
customer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As we were
moving into our dorm last fall, young women wandered from room to room to see
who had brought what to school. One student's room contained a TV, VCR, stereo
system, microwave, and a number of other high-tech gadgets. She even had a
Nintendo 64.
A fellow dorm resident couldn't resist asking, "Do you play
Nintendo 64?"
The girl's response: "No, but the guys
do!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs Santa Claus was seeking a
divorce in court from an incredulous judge
who asked her to explain her
maritial problems.
"Judge, it's that happy jolly stuff all year long,"
she said. "It drives
me CRAZY!"
"All year? Why I thought Santa's work
was only in the winter." said the
judge.
"Sure, but in summer he takes
up gardening," Mrs Claus replied, and
then...
it's hoe, hoe, hoe, all over
again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My teenage son got a job
bagging groceries at the Fort McCoy Commissary, where he worked for tips only.
Hoping to improve his tipping percentage, he often engaged customers in
conversation.
One man was telling my son that he had had his ID card
since World War II.
"No-o!" my son said. "You don't look a day over Vietnam!" He
got a good tip.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is
Marketing?
WELCOME TO
MARKETING 101
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to
her and say,
"I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's Direct
Marketing
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One
of your friends goes up to her and, pointing at you
says,
"He's very rich. Marry him."
That's
Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her
and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say,
"Hi, I'm
very rich. Marry me."
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party
and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to
her and compliment
her hair. You open the door for her, pick up her bag
after she drops
it, offer her a ride, and then say,
"By the way, I'm
very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's Public Relations.
You're
at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says,
"You
are very rich..."
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous
girl at a party.
You go up to her and say,
"I'm rich. Marry
me"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer
Feedback.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my job
with a credit union, I often run across accounts that are protected by
password.
The credit-union member, when withdrawing funds, must produce
identification and then give the password to the teller.
Recently, when I
asked a woman for her password, she sighed, rolled her eyes and replied,
"Save."
I was puzzled until she explained, "My husband used that password
so I'd have to say it every time I make a
withdrawal."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shortly after
Grandma died, Grandpa was driving my sister and me on a shopping trip. We were
aghast at the tales he told us of what a terrible driver Grandma had been. In
the middle of one story, we arrived at an intersection. The light was green, but
instead of going through, Grandpa stopped. My sister and I both exclaimed that
he had the green.
"Well," Grandpa said frostily, "it's usually red when I
get here!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I cautioned
my eight- and ten-year-old children, Andy and Susan, that if they wanted to play
outside, they must stay off their bikes while I went to the airport, just two
blocks away, to give a flying lesson. On my way out I left the phone on the
porch. While my student and I were circling the airport, we flew over my house
and I noticed Andy cruising around on his bike. I called the tower controller.
"Jack," I said, "would you call my house, please, and tell Andy to get off his
bike and go to his room." When Andrew answered the phone, Jack repeated exactly
what I had said. Later, I arrived home to find Andy sitting on his bed, a
worried look on his face. "Mom, I'm sorry," he said. "I was riding around on my
bike, but God saw me and made me go to my
room."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A boy was riding in the elevator of
a very tall building with his parents. He tugged on his father's coat and, when
his father bent over, asked him a question.
The father frowned and shook
his head. The little boy tugged on his father's coat again, and asked the same
question.
"No!" said the father.
When the little boy tugged on his
father's coat a third time, the father lost his patience and said, "I don't care
how Superman does it! We're going up this
way!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill decided to take a trip to Australia. She booked herself
on a bus tour, and noticed that a lot of signs were in English and in the
Aboriginal language, which her guide carefully pronounced. Eagerly, Jill offered
to try and pronounce the next sign she saw. As the next sign came up, Jill read
aloud, "Riff-ley rang-gee. Is that right?"
"Well," said the tour guide,
"I would have said rifle
range."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Business must
follow numerous rules and regulations laid down by government agencies. So maybe
we shouldn't have been surprised by the memo from the county Department of
Health Services.
"The month of August has been designated as
Breast-Feeding Awareness Month," it read. "It is a good time for employers to
review their policies relative to breast-feeding
employees."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After waiting more than an hour and a half
for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up. She changed from her
dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and resigned herself
to an evening of TV.
No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV
than her doorbell rang. There stood her date. He took one look at her and
gasped, "I'm two hours late -- and you're still not
ready?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young couple came into
the church office to fill out a pre-marriage
questionnaire form. The young
man, who had never talked to a pastor
before, was quite nervous and the
pastor tried to put him at ease. When
they came to the question, "Are you
entering this marriage of your own
free will?" there was a long pause.
Finally, the girl looked over at the
apprehensive young man and said, "Put
down yes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Hercules
transport was due to arrive at the McGuire AFB bringing a patient, and we were
to meet it with the military ambulance. When I, a registered nurse, arrived, I
saw a large grey aircraft I couldn't identify quite a distance down the tarmac.
Since it could have been the plane I was to meet, I radioed operations and asked
whether it was the Hercules.
"No, Ma'am, that's an Aurora," came the
reply. "When the big fat green plane lands that's a
Hercules."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
QUESTION
Have you
noticed that when you wash tight clothes they get tighter,
but when you wash
loose clothes they only get
looser?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can
be good, fast, and cheap.
Choose only
two.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, we celebrated President's
Day...honoring all our Presidents...from George Washington, who couldn't tell a
lie...to George W. Bush, who couldn't tell the truth...to Bill Clinton, who
couldn't tell the difference. ~ Jay
Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** Quickies ****
Bill Clinton, when told the
Lewinsky scandal was rated the 53rd most significant news story of the 20th
century: "What's a man got to do to get in the top
fifty?
When you are young,
it's wine, women and song.
When you get old, it's beer, the old lady and
television
I
read the Post Dispatch piece today about the woman who recycles cashmere
sweaters by unraveling them & making new tops. Not sure I liked the result,
but it was a good yarn.
There are several good
protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Politics is like the bumper cars at the amusement park. It's a delusion
to think that by refusing to move, you can protect yourself from being
hit.
Bills travel through the mail
at twice the speed of checks
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's
ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca
**** HEALTH NEWS
****
Lack of sleep can affect
learning
BOSTON, -- U.S. scientists have determined
sleep depriva-
tion impairs memory for subsequent experiences by
alter-
ing the function of the hippocampus. Sleep
researchers
have known sleep occurring after an experience can
be
critical to learning and memory but in the new
study
Matthew Walker and colleagues at Harvard
University
Medical School found sleep before an experience is
also
critical for the normal functioning of memory
systems.
The scientists deprived people of a night's sleep
and
then asked them to observe and remember a large set
of
picture slides for a subsequent recognition test.
Follow-
ing a full night's sleep, the subjects were queried
about
the slides. The researchers found sleep-deprived
subjects
showed decreased activity in the hippocampus -- a
brain
region important for memory -- relative to control
sub-
jects who were not sleep-deprived while viewing the
pic-
tures; sleep-deprived people also had poorer
subsequent
recall abilities. The relationship of activation in
other
brain areas to activation in the hippocampus was
also
altered, suggesting sleep deprivation alters
memory-encod-
ing strategies, the researchers reported. The
study
appears in the March issue of the journal Nature
Neuro-
science.
Scientists find origin of ulcer bacteria
CAMBRIDGE, England, -- A British-led team of international
scientists has discovered the bacteria causing stomach
ulcers has been present in humans for more than 60,000
years. The finding, say the researchers, not only furthers
the understanding of a disease causing bacteria but also
offers a new way to study the migration and diversifica-
tion of early humans. The scientists from the University
of
Cambridge, the Max Planck Institute in Berlin and the
Hanover
Medical School, compared DNA sequence patterns of
humans and the
Helicobacter pylori bacteria known to cause
most stomach ulcers.
They found the genetic differences
between human populations
that arose as they dispersed
from Eastern Africa over thousands
of years are mirrored
in H. pylori. Human DNA analysis has shown
that along the
major land routes out of Africa human populations
become
genetically isolated -- the further from Eastern Africa
a
population is the more different genetically it is
compar-
ed to other human populations. Other research has
shown
gradual differences in European populations, presumed
to
be the result of Neolithic farmers moving northwards.
The
H. pylori research team found nearly the same genetic
dis-
tribution patterns in their results. The study
appears
in the journal
Nature.
Children's asthma drug elicits good review
MELBOURNE, -- An Australian study shows children taking
the prescription drug montelukast for reoccurring sporadic
asthma miss fewer school days. The multicenter, randomized,
double-blind and placebo-controlled study also showed such
children had fewer unscheduled trips to their doctors and
caused their parents to take fewer days off work for their
care. Dr. Colin Robertson of the Royal Children's Hospital
in Melbourne and colleagues studied 202 children, ages 2
to
14, who were given either montelukast or a placebo by
their
parents. All of the children had intermittent,
physician-diagnosed asthma. By the end of the yearlong
study, the patients treated with montelukast had 163 un-
scheduled health resource visits for their illness, as
compared with 228 in the placebo group. "Symptoms were
reduced by 14 percent, nights awakened by 8.6 percent,
days
off from school or childcare by 37 percent and
parent time off
from work by 33 percent," said Robertson.
Asthma is the most
common chronic disorder of childhood
and intermittent asthma is
the most common pattern of the
disease in children. The study is
detailed in the American
Journal of Respiratory and Critical
Care Medicine.
**** Reader's Submissions ****
"Especially the Blue"
I ran into a stranger
as he passed by.
"Oh, excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please
excuse me too;
I wasn't even watching for you."
We were very polite, this
stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a
different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and
old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My daughter stood
beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked her down.
"Move
out of the way," I said with a frown.
She walked away, her little heart
broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in
bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a
stranger, common courtesy you use,
But the children you love, you seem to
abuse.
Look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the
door.
Those are the flowers she brought for you.
She
picked
them herself, pink, yellow and blue.
She stood
quietly not to spoil the surprise,
And you never saw the tears in her
eyes."
By this time, I felt very small
And now my tears began to
fall.
I quietly went and knelt by her bed;
"Wake up, little girl, wake
up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
She smiled, "I
found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like
you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Daughter,
I'm sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that
way."
She said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."
I said,
"Daughter, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the
blue."
Are you aware that: If we die tomorrow, the company that
we are
working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we
left behind will feel the loss for
the rest of their
lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work
than to our family - an unwise investment
indeed.
--Author
Unknown
**** ON THIS DAY
****
**** HEADS UP FOLKS
****
These Are My Causes Please
Help
This is a link for
FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It
is excellent. I use it
myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough
people to click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food
donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than
a minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in
need" for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to
abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising.
Here's
the web site! Pass it along to people you
know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a
link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U
Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
thisOrgan and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
It takes less than a minute to go
to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in
the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate
mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you
know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject
Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****
-21-
Donald Wesley "Don" Reno, of "Reno &
Smiley born Spartanburg, SC 1927.
Eddy Arnold topped the charts with "I'll
Hold You In My Heart" 1948.
Jerry Lee Lewis, age 16, married his first
wife Dorothy Barton, age 17, in 1952.
Hank Williams' "Kaw-Liga,"charted
1953.
Buck Owens signed a recording contract with
Capitol Records in Los Angeles, CA 1957.
Mary Chapin Carpenter, singer/songwriter
born Princeton, NJ 1958.
Stonewall Jackson had the No. 1 spot with
"B. J. the D. J." 1964.
Marty Robbins' "My Woman, My Woman, My
Wife," charted 1970, and went to #1. Marty wrote the song in 1968, about
his wife Marizona.
Waylon recorded "Honky Tonk Hero's" and
"Never Could Toe The Mark," 1973.
Ray Whitley, singing cowboy film star, died
Baja California, Mexico 1979.
Boxcar Willie joined the Grand Ole Opry
1981.
Leslie York, age 66, of "The York Brothers"
died 1984.
Merle Haggard's "Twinkle, Twinkle Lucky
Star" topped the charts 1988.
Trace Adkins' second wife; shot him with a
38-caliber revolver in 1994. The bullet passed through both lungs and
both chambers of his heart. Trace almost died however, he refused to press any
criminal charges against her. Trace is now married to a non-violent, former
Music Row receptionist.
Johnny Cash won his tenth Grammy for Best
Male Country Vocal Performance 2001.
Malcolm Yelvington, age 82, SUN Records
recording artist, died Memphis, TN 2001. One of Malcom's hits was
"Drinkin' Wine Spo-Dee-O-Dee."
****
COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
Songwriter Ray Evans dies in LA at 92
By DAISY
NGUYEN, Associated Press Writer
LOS ANGELES - Oscar-winning songwriter
Ray Evans, whose long collaboration with partner Jay Livingston produced such
enduring standards as "Mona Lisa," "Buttons and Bows," "Silver Bells" and
"Whatever Will Be, Will Be (Que Sera, Sera)," has died. He was 92.
Evans
died late Thursday of heart failure at a Los Angeles hospital, Frederick
Nicholas, Evans' longtime lawyer, said Friday.
Gretchen Wilson Hits Bars for
Charity
February 19, 2007 — After
playing to huge crowds for several years, Gretchen Wilson went back to her roots
to perform at smaller venues and raise money for charity last week,
countrynation.com reports.
Gretchen's five dates in five cities netted
more $163,000 for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital and the Make-a-Wish
Foundation.
One of the stops was Little Rock. Things got a little crazy
when the fire marshal began turning fans away after 2,000 people had crowded
into the Clear Channel Metroplex to see Gretchen play KSSN's St. Jude
fundraiser. As a result, streets were blocked and backed up, and fist fights
broke out among the throngs of fans who were turned away at the door.
"This was one of the most fun weeks I've had since this rocket took off
three years ago," Gretchen said.
TIM AND FAITH SET FOR LIVE
EARTH
Tim McGraw and wife
Faith Hill have been added to the lineup for Live Earth, a concert event
organized by former U.S. Vice President Al Gore, July 7.
February 16,
2007 – The event is part of Save Our Selves—The Campaign for a Climate in
Crisis, aimed at raising global awareness. Similar to Live 8, the concerts,
featuring major recording artists and celebrities, will take place at different
locales all over the world. Rock band Bon Jovi is also on the lineup of
performers. Live Earth will be broadcast live on Internet site MSN and other
radio and TV outlets worldwide.
**** Amy's Kitchen
****
Here
is my recipe for the peanut butter cookies with no flour. I have
used it many
many times and its always a hit! Enjoy!
Dee in Southern Illinois
E. S.
P. Cookies
1 egg
1 Cup Sugar
1 Cup Peanut Butter
1 Pkg. Chocolate
Kisses (size depends on how many cookies you plan to
make)
(optional)
Mix together the egg, sugar, and peanut butter. Roll the dough
into
marble-size balls. Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet at 325 for
9
minutes. Put a chocolate kiss on each cookie (press down just a
tiny
little bit) and return to the oven for 1 minute. Makes
24-30.
Mushroom-and-Egg Casserole
Source:
Midwest Living
http://www.midwestliving.com
Makes 6 servings
Prep: 20
minutes
Cook: 35 minutes
Ingredients
4 slices prosciutto (about
1-1/2 ounces) or bacon
8 scallions or green onions, thinly sliced (about 2/3
cup)
1 tablespoon butter or margarine
1 pound fresh shiitake* and/or
button mushrooms, sliced
8 eggs
1 cup milk
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2-1/2 cups shredded Monterey Jack or cheddar cheese (10 ounces)
Directions
1. In a large skillet, cook prosciutto or bacon until
crisp; drain off drippings and crumble prosciutto or bacon. Set aside.
2.
Wipe pan clean. Cook scallions in same skillet in butter or margarine over
medium heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Add mushrooms and cook for 2 to 3 minutes more.
Remove skillet from heat.
3. In a large bowl, beat together the eggs, milk,
and pepper. Stir in cheese and the mushroom mixture. Pour into a greased 2-quart
rectangular (12x7-1/2x2-inch) baking dish.
4. Bake in a 350 degree F
oven for 35 to 40 minutes or until puffed and a knife inserted off-center comes
out clean. Let stand for 5 to 10 minutes before cutting. Serve warm. Makes 6
servings.
*Note: Remove and discard the tough stems from the shiitake
mushrooms before slicing them.
**** TODAY'S
USELESS FACT ****
Who built the Leaning
Tower of Pisa?
 To this day, the primary
architect behind the world's most famously defective tourist
attraction remains unknown. There
are several possible suspects, all of whom were famous Italian architects at the
time: Bonanno, Deotiusalvi, Gerardo, Guidolotto, etc.
This wonderfully
erratic timeline of events details the tumultuous history of the listing
monolith in question.
Construction started in 1173, then stops 5 years later (some trouble with the
foundation, perhaps?), then recommences 100 years later, then stops after 6
years, and on and on. Why does the tower tilt? It's built on especially sandy
soil, which has settled unevenly over the years.
It is believed that
Galileo Galilei dropped two cannon balls of different masses from this tower to
demonstrate that their speed of descent was independent of their mass.
A
lot of effort has gone into straightening the tower, including an ill-advised
drilling technique in 1934 that only exacerbated the problem. As it stands
today, scientists and engineers are slowly but surely righting the structure to
a stable angle. The aim isn't to straighten it (what's the Leaning Tower of Pisa
without its lean?), but to stop it from tumbling
over.
****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
My daydreams about losing
weight are nothing but wishful shrinking.
LAST CALL
Y'ALL
A Very Loyal
Wife...
This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for
several
months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One
day,
when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat
by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You
have been with
me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were
there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there. When I got
shot, you were by my
side. When we lost the house, you stayed right
here. When my health started
failing, you were still by my side... You
know what?
"What dear", she
gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with
warmth.
"I think
you're bad luck
 
HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA
HEAR!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out
there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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