|
From Carlisle
,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome
to The Funnies
"Friends
are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended
for younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can
repair almost anything.
Welcome New
Subscribers
If you don't have a
sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at
all
Anyone without a sense
of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help
Them
Remember,it is easier to get
older
than it is to get wiser
THURSDAY FEBUARY 22,2007
THOUGHT FOR TODAY: SOME DAY'S I'M JUST BRAIN DEAD
First woman honored with Turing Award
By BRIAN BERGSTEIN, AP Technology
Writer Wed Feb 21, 1:12 PM ET
One of the most prestigious prizes in
computing, the $100,000 Turing Award, went to a woman Wednesday for the first
time in the award's 40-year history.
Frances E. Allen, 75, was honored for her work at
IBM Corp. on techniques for optimizing the performance of compilers, the
programs that translate one computer language into another. This process is
required to turn programming code into the binary zeros and ones actually read
by a computer's colossal array of minuscule
switches.
A cocky Department of Agriculture
representative stopped at a
farm and talked with the old farmer; "I need to
inspect your farm."
The old farmer said, "You better not go in that
field."
The Agriculture representative said in a "wise" tone, "I have
the
authority of the U. S. Government with me. See this card, I am
allowed to go
wherever I wish on agricultural land."
So the old farmer went about his farm
chores.
Later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the Department of
Agriculture rep running for the fence; close behind was the farmer's
prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets, and the
bull was gaining at every step.
"Help," the rep shouted to the farmer,
"what should I do?" he
screamed helplessly.
The old farmer, hooking his
thumbs in his overalls, called out:
"Show him your
card!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I looked over to me left and there was a woman in a
brand new
Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view
mirror
putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds and when
I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that
makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped
my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In
all
the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the
steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear
which fell into
the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big
Jim and the Twins,
ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and
disconnected an important
call. Damn women drivers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Doctor in Minnesota wanted
to get off work and go hunting, so he
told his assistant "Ya Ole, I am going
hunting tomorrow and we don't
want to close the clinic. I want you to take
care of the clinic and
take care of our patients".
"Yes, sir..." answers
Ole.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the next dayand asks: "So Ole,
how was your day?"
Ole tells him he took care of three patients. "The
first one had a
headache, so I gave him TYLENOL."
"Bravo! Ya, Ole, and
the second one?" says the doctor.
"The second one had stomach burning, and I
gave him MAALOX, sir," says Ole.
"Bravo, bravo Ole! You're good at this and
what; about the third
one?" asks the doctor.
"Sir, I was sitting here,
and suddenly the door opens, and a woman
enters like a flame. She undresses
herself, taking off her bra and
her panties and lies down on the table,
spread her legs and shouts:
HELP ME!For five years I have not seen any
man!!"
And what did you do Ole?" asks the doctor.
"I put eye drops in her
eyes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The
Westminster Dog Show crowned a new champion. The name
of the dog
is James. He's a 6-year-old Springer Spaniel.
I'm not sure what
a Springer Spaniel is... I think it's a
cross between a cocker
spaniel and Jerry Springer."
-Craig
Ferguson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A new study
says that obese people can lose weight if they
walk 12 miles per
week. As a result Applebee's is intro-
ducing a new 12 mile long
buffet." --Conan
O'Brien
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I
know the country has been mired in deficit spending and
it's
been terrible burden on the country in terms of
interest
payments. Good news today out of Washington. They
have raised
the limit of debt we can go to to $9 trillion.
It sends a great
message to the kids: Hey, are you getting
an F? Don't study
harder, make the grading curve go out to
K. Then your F looks
like a C." --Jon Stewart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My 20th high school
class reunion was held at a hotel on the
same night that another
school's 10th-year reunion was taking
place.
While my girl friends and I were in the rest room talking,
some unfamiliar women entered. After their stares became
uncomfortable, we turned toward them. One of the women said,
"Don't mind us. We just wanted to see how we'd look in
another 10
years."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I
was living in the mountains above Denver when my college
buddy,
Gary, arrived in his ancient Maserati sports car.
He had just
driven it from Ohio, and as he pulled into my
driveway, the car
broke down.
Calls to auto-supply houses and garages in
search of re-
placement parts proved futile. The 1962 model was
simply
too rare. Responses ranged from "Mas-a-what?" to
"You've
got to be kidding."
One guy just
laughed.
I was at the end of the listings in the Yellow
Pages when
I dialed Victor's Garage. "Vic," I said, "you're my
last
hope. Do you carry any parts for a 1962
Maserati?"
There was a long pause. Finally, Victor cleared
his throat.
"Yes," he replied.
"Oil."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New York's a funny
place. I was at a coffee shop and I'm paying the cashier, and the other girl got
sprayed by the espresso machine with the hot milk. Her shirt was burning her, so
she just ripped it off. But she forgot she had no bra on. So she just ran to the
back, and the cashier looks at me and goes, "That'll be an extra 2
bucks."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
City Boy:
Say, Dad, how many kinds of milk are there?
Father: Well, there's evaporated
milk, buttermilk, malted
milk, and -- but why do you wish to
know?
City Boy: Oh, I'm drawing a picture of a cow, and I want to
know how many *spigots* to put on
her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every day (and night) I get tons of
phone calls from telemarketers trying to sell me something. I hate these calls,
but I always try to be polite when I say No Thank You. One night, I had a very
persistent telemarketer, and no matter how many times and ways I said No thank
you, not interested, he would not let up. I finally said, "Listen, I am not
financially in a position to buy anything right now. I am broke and on the verge
of bankruptcy."
Without missing a beat, the telemarketer said to me,
"I understand what you mean.
Why do you think I have this job right
now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 10 Reasons I Love
Horses"
10.Wanted to be Roy Rogers.
9. Get to wear cowboy
boots.
8. Don't shed in the house.
7. Free fertilizer for the
garden.
6. Get to sit up high.
5. Cool hats.
4. Park
anywhere.
3. Brag about saddle sores.
2. A suger cube and a carrot
make them happy.
1. Don't have to change the
oil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A customer wanted to ask his attractive
waitress for a date but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch
her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and
blurted out his invitation. To his amazement she readily consented. He said,
"Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye
contact."
"Oh," replied the waitress," I thought you wanted more
coffee."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Billy Bob wanted a job as a
signalman on the railways. He was told to
meet the inspector at the signal
box.
The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that two
trains
were heading for each other on the same track?"
Billy Bob
replied, "I would switch the points for one of the trains."
"What if the
lever broke?" asked the inspector.
"Then I'd dash down out of the signal
box," said Billy Bob, "and I'd use
the manual lever over there."
"What
if that had been struck by lightning?"
"Then," Billy Bob continued, "I'd
run back into the signal box and phone
the next signal box."
"What if
the phone was busy?"
"Well in that case," persevered Billy Bob, "I'd rush
down out of the box
and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing
up there."
"What if that was vandalized?"
"Oh, well then I'd run
into town and go get my Uncle Lester."
This puzzled the inspector, so he
asked, "Why would you do that?"
Billy Bob answered, "Well, Uncle Lester
ain't never seen a train
wreck!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After his attorney's
motion to suppress evidence was denied by the court
John spoke
up,
"Your Honor," he said, "What would you do if I called you a
stupid,
degenerate, old fool!"
The Judge really angered,
revered,
"I would hold you in contempt of Court and see to have you put
in jail
for the longest time allowed by law!"
Quickly thinking, John's
shocked attorney, asked,
"What if he only 'thought' it, Your
Honor?"
"In that case, there is nothing I could do, he has the right to
think
whatever he wishes." replied the Judge.
"Oh I see," said john,
"then, if it pleases the court, let the record
reflect that I 'think' you're
a stupid, degenerate, old
fool!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daffynitions Not Found in Webster's.
. . ..
Secret: what we tell everyone not to tell
anyone.
Hospital: where you might wind up if you get run
down.
Nudist: a person who is never
clothes-minded.
Twins: womb-mates.
Tension: what the
sergeant shouts to the troops.
Bargain Basement: a place where what
you seize is what you get.
Zinc: what you do if you can't
zwim.
Paralyze: a couple of fibs.
Bacteria: rear
entrance to a cafeteria.
Seamstress: a real material
girl.
Diploma: the person you call when your toilet backs
up.
Operetta: an employee of the phone
company.
Calculator: a product you can count
on.
Microwave: a head full of tiny curls.
Jail cell: a
bar room.
Golf cart: a vehicle with a fore cylinder
engine.
Minister: a man who is the soul support of his
family.
Cashew: the noise a nut makes when it
sneezes.
Stupendous: advanced stupidity.
Hurricane:
what Abel said to his brother when he was late for
school..
**** Quickies ****
My weight problem is
hereditary. It was passed down from my mouth to my
stomach
I went to a seafood disco last week
... and pulled a mussel.
"Definitions of a
Bachelor"
* One who avoids Bride-Eyed women.
* One who believes in
Life, Liberty and the Happiness of Pursuit.
* One who can go fishing
anytime, until he gets hooked.
* One who can't be Spouse-Broken.
*
One who knows how to hold a woman's hand so that she doesn't get a grip on
him.
* One who leans toward a woman but not far enough to fall.
*
One who when a girl asks him for a Diamond Ring, he turns Stone- Deaf.
*
One who would rather mend his socks than his ways.
"When a priest makes a mistake in
church, it's a clerical error."
Do the people who make tea get coffee
breaks?
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's
ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca
**** HEALTH NEWS
****
Scientists identify yeast
protein
BALTIMORE, -- U.S. scientists studying how
yeast makes
cholesterol have identified a protein whose human
counter-
part controls cholesterol production and metabolism.
The
collaborative study was conducted by investigators
at
Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine,
Vanderbilt
University, Indiana University and the Eli Lilly Co.
"Dap1
controls the activity of a clinically important class
of
enzymes required for cholesterol synthesis and drug
metab-
olism," said Johns Hopkins Assistant Professor
Peter
Espenshade. "We're excited because, although we
originally
identified this protein in yeast, humans not only
have the
same protein, but it works the same way." The search
for
Dap1 began with the hunt for factors that influence
the
actions of a large family of enzymes called
cytochrome
P450. Those enzymes control many life-sustaining
chemical
reactions in humans and other animals. "Understanding
the
molecular underpinnings of so-called
pharmacogenetic
variation will have a big impact on the future
of
medicine," Espenshade said. The research appears in
the
February issue of the journal Cell
Metabolism.
Chemo drug may
hike tumor immunity
NEW YORK, -- U.S. scientists
have discovered a chemotherapy
drug might enhance patients'
immunity to tumors, helping
them to more effectively fight the
disease. Rockefeller
University researchers have found that a
chemotherapy drug
called bortezomib can kill multiple myeloma
cells -- cancer
in immune cells in bone marrow -- in culture in
such a way
that it elicits a response by memory and killer T
cells.
Until recently it's been thought radiation therapy
and
various forms of chemotherapy were separate but
equal
treatments. Now, however, new research is beginning
to
show it's not just killing the cancer cells that
matters
-- it's also important as to how they are killed. A
study
by Associate Rockefeller University Professor
Madhav
Dhodapkar, postgraduate fellow Radek Spisek and
col-
leagues shows bortezomib kills tumor cells in such a
way
that it might allow the immune system to recognize
them.
The study is detailed online in the journal
Blood.
New drugs show promise for prostate cancer
LOS ANGELES, -- U.S. oncologists say a new class of
target-
ed anti-cancer drugs shows promise in prolonging the
lives
of patients with recurrent prostate cancer. The research
by
scientists at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los
Angeles
show a molecular targeted compound called pertuzumab
blocks
the human epidermal growth factor receptor family by
bind-
ing to and inhibiting the function of HER2
receptors,
interrupting a key pathway that leads to cancer
growth.
"Advanced prostate cancer is difficult to treat and
the
drug therapies currently available to these patients
have
not been very effective, especially in patients
whose
disease has progressed after chemotherapy treatment,"
said
Dr. David Agus, principal investigator of the study.
Agus
said the theory is that by significantly slowing
pro-
gression of the cancer, patients will experience a
good
quality of life for a longer period of time.
"Ultimately,
we hope drugs like pertuzumab will help us reach
the point
where cancer can be viewed as a lifetime disease to
be
managed much like AIDS is looked at now," he added.
"This
would be major shift from the current paradigm for
cancer
treatment, and is a promising area of research."
The
study appears in the Journal of Clinical
Oncology.
*****Fred.....The Ole
Fritbear!!!*****
Today being ASH WEDNESDAY, I am repeating a very IMPORTANT AND
HEART
RENDERING piece. It is not Humor, although you may get a
smile or
two after reading it. This is something I feel should
be read by
every man, woman and child in America. - If you
agree, please pass
it on and keep it going. If not, simply toss
into the trash.
"DECK of CARDS" has been around for a long time ... don't
let it die
here. God Bless America and The American Troops.
-
Fritzbear, the Humor Guy!!!
≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥
≤≥≤≥≤≥≤
Deck of Cards
It was quiet that day, the guns and the
mortars, and land mines for
some reason hadn't been heard.
The
young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.
As he was
sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid
them out
across his bunk.
Just then an army sergeant came in and said, "Why aren't
you with the
rest of the platoon?"
The soldier replied, "I
thought I would stay behind and spend some
time with the
Lord."
The sergeant said, "Looks to me like you're going to play cards."
The
soldier said, "No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to
have
Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,
I've
decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards."
The sergeant
asked in disbelief, "How will you do that?"
"You see the Ace, Sergeant?
It reminds me that there is only one God.
The Two represents the two
parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments.
The Three represents the
Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.
The Four stands for the Four Gospels:
Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
The Five is for the five virgins there were
ten but only five of them
were glorified.
The Six is for the
six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.
The Seven is for
the day God rested after making His Creation.
The Eight is for the family
of Noah and his wife, their three sons
and their wives -- the eight
people God spared from the flood that
destroyed the Earth.
The
Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He
cleansed
ten, but nine never thanked Him.
The Ten represents the Ten Commandments
that God handed down to Moses
on tablets made of stone.
The
Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he
got
kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the
joker
of eternal hell.
The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.
The King
stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.
When I count the dots
on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one
for every day of the
year.
There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks
in
a year.
The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring,
Summer, Fall and
Winter.
Each suit has thirteen cards -- there
are exactly thirteen weeks in a
quarter.
So when I want to talk
to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old
deck of cards and they
remind me of all that I have to be thankful for."
The sergeant just stood
there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes
and pain in his heart,
he said, "Soldier, can I borrow that deck of
cards?"
Please let
this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our
soldiers who
are being sent away, putting their lives on the line
fighting.
Prayer for the Military.
Please keep the wheel
rolling. It will only take a few seconds of
your time, but it'll be
worth it to read on.... Lord, hold our troops
in your loving
hands.
Protect them. Bless them and their families.
I ask this in
the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.
Amen.
When you receive this,
please stop for a moment and say a prayer for
our servicemen and women
all around the world.
Kevin Rayner
Highland Church of
Christ
Tecumseh OK
FRED, SO SORRY I COULDN'T
GET THIS
IN YESTERDAY A DAYS LEAD TIME
HELPS...........JIM
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≤≥≤≥≤≥≤
**** Reader's Submissions
****
The Sandbox Rock
A little boy was
spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox. He had with him his box of
cars and trucks, his plastic pail, and a shiny, red plastic shovel. In the
process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large
rock in the middle of the sandbox.
The lad
dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With no little bit
of struggle, he pushed and nudged the rock across the sandbox by using his
feet.
(He was a very
small boy and the rock was very huge.)
When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox, however, he found
that he couldn't roll it up and over the little wall. Determined, the little boy
shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress,
the rock tipped and then fell back into the sandbox. The little boy grunted,
struggled, pushed, shoved---but his only reward was to have the rock roll back,
smashing his chubby fingers. Finally he burst into tears of
frustration.
All this
time the boy's father watched from his living room window as the drama
unfolded.
At the moment
the tears fell, a large shadow fell across the boy and the sandbox. It was the
boy's father. Gently but firmly he said, "Son, why didn't you use all the
strength that you had available?"
Defeated,
the boy sobbed back, "But I did, Daddy, I did! I used all the strength that I
had!"
"No, son,"
corrected the father kindly. "You didn't use all the strength you
had.
You didn't ask
me."
With that the father
reached down, picked up the rock, and removed it from the
sandbox.
Do you have
"rocks" in your life that need to be removed? Are you discovering that you don't
have what it takes to lift them?
There's One who's
always available to us and willing to give us the strength we need. When the
apostle Paul faced times of a broken spirit and sapped strength, he proclaimed
to the Corinthian church, "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, then
my power is made perfect in you" (2 Corinthians 12:9b NCV). When we're broken in
spirit and our strength is spent, we can turn to our Savior
Jesus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From
Dolores
"The Measure Of A Man"
Not "How did he die?" But "How did he live?"
Not "What did he
gain?" But "What did he give?"
Not "What was his station?" But "Had he a
heart?"
And "How did he play his God-given part?"
Not "What was his
shrine?" Nor "What was his creed?"
But "Had he befriended those really in
need?"
Not "What did the piece in the newspaper say?"
But "How many were
sorry when he passed away?"
Was he ever ready with a word or good
cheer.
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
These are the units to
measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
~Author
Unknown~
**** ON THIS DAY
****
**** HEADS UP FOLKS
****
These Are My Causes Please
Help
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent. I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a
mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a
thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits
to donate mammogram
in exchange for
advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to
click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated
every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to
go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This
doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the
number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in
exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it
along to people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link
for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U
Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject
Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****
|
New fuel for NASCAR? |
|
Outsiders encouraging series to make switch to
ethanol. |
|
|
|
|
|
Harvick comes into his own |
|
Daytona 500 champ building name apart from Earnhardt
legacy. |
|
|
Subscribe Today: Home Delivery of USA TODAY - Save 35%
**** COUNTRY CALENDAR
****
-22-
Jesse Ashlock, songwriter/fiddle player, was born in Walker
County, TX 1915.
Del Wood born Nashville, TN 1920.
Marty Robbins released "Big Iron/Saddle Tramp" 1960.
Dorsey Burnette's single "(There Was A) Tall Oak Tree" charted
1960.
Johnny Cash proposed to June Carter on stage in London, Ontario
1968.
Flatt and Scruggs, final performance on the Grand Ole Opry
1969.
MCA released Jimmy Buffett's "Coconut Telegraph" 1981.
Hightone Records released Sonny Burgess' "Tennessee Border"
1992.
Pat Boone, while doing a rope trick on TNN's "Crook &
Chase," in 1994, knocked his toupe off with the rope. Pat calmly
walked to where it had landed, picked it up, and positioned the hairpiece back
on top of his head. That incident brought to a close Pat Boone's cowboy
imitations.
Shania Twain released her album "Any Man of Mine," in
1995. By June Shania was a star.
Terri Clark's "I Just Wanna Be Mad," went to No. 2 on the charts
2003. No female artist had a higher-ranking single that year.
****
COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
Country Aircheck
- BREAKING NEWS / Friedman has been named Dir./National Promotion for Sony BMG
label-group sister Columbia/Nashville
BREAKING NEWS
Friedman To
Columbia: Arista/Nashville Northeast Dir./Regional Promotion David Friedman has
been named Dir./National Promotion for Sony BMG label-group sister
Columbia/Nashville. He succeeds Columbia Sr. Dir. Teddi Bonadies, who will be
leaving the label group at the end of March.
Friedman joined
Arista/Nashville in August 2000 after a year with Capitol/Nashville as its NE
rep and four years with Intersound. He recently moved to Nashville from New
York.
Bonadies spent 13 years with Arista/Nashville before transferring
to Columbia in July 2006. She joined the label for NE promotion, was elevated to
Director/Field Promotion in July 1995, became National Director in June 2000 and
was upped to Sr. Director/Promotion in March 2003.
TANYA
TUCKER signs with Webster & Associates Public Relations!!!
Kirt
Webster, President of Webster & Associates Public Relations is pleased to
announce that multi-platinum, award-winning songstress Tanya Tucker has signed
with the agency for media representation.
Carter Cash's Tribute to June
February 20, 2007 — The only son of Johnny and June Carter Cash is
keeping his mother's memory alive with a tribute album featuring songs written
by or associated with her. Billboard reports that Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow,
Willie Nelson, Loretta Lynn, Emmylou Harris and Brad Paisley are among the
artists appearing on Anchored in Love, produced by John Carter and scheduled for
release on June 19.
"Not every song on the record is one she wrote,"
says John Carter, noting Brad's performance of "Keep on the Sunny Side" and
Loretta's rendition of "Wildwood Flower," songs that June learned from her
mother, Maybelle Carter. "Some are things she perpetuated through the years."
June's daughter Carlene Carter performs the Johnny & June duet
"Jackson" with Ronnie Dunn, and stepdaughter Rosanne Cash sings a gospel tune
called "Wings of Angels." Other tracks include Willie and Sheryl's duet on "If I
Were a Carpenter" and Elvis Costello's rendition of "Ring of Fire."
John
Carter has also written a biography of his mother, Anchored in Love: An Intimate
Portrait of June Carter Cash, which will be released on the same day as the
album. "I felt that this book was a very healing thing for me to do," he says.
"It put me in touch with her and her spirit."
**** Amy's
Kitchen ****
Old Bay® Catfish Fry
Old Bay® Catfish Fry
Provided by: McCormick® &
Company
"Spice up your next fish fry with OLD BAY®
Seasoning."
Original recipe yield: 4 servings.
INGREDIENTS:
.
1/3 cup cornmeal
. 1 tablespoon Old Bay® Seasoning
. 1 teaspoon McCormick®
Parsley Flakes
. 1/4 teaspoon McCormick® Garlic Salt
. 4 (4 ounce) fillets
catfish fillets
. 1 egg, beaten
. 3 tablespoons vegetable
oil
DIRECTIONS:
1. Place cornmeal on large piece of wax paper. Add OLD
BAY® seasoning, parsley and garlic salt. Stir with fork until well
combined.
2. Dip fish fillets, 1 at a time, in beaten egg. Allow excess egg
to drip off. Coat with cornmeal mixture.
3. Heat oil in large skillet. Panfry
fillets 5 to 6 minutes on each side, or until fish flakes easily with
fork.
"Country Style
Ribs"
4 pounds of pork ribs (beef can be
used)
1 cup water
1 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons flour
1
teaspoon sage
1 tablespoon vinegar
3-4 crisp, tart apples
1/2 cup of
raisins (if desired)
Place the ribs in a
casserole dish and bake in the oven for 25 minutes at 350 degrees F. Remove from
oven and drain the fat. In a bowl mix the water, brown sugar, flour, sage, and
vinegar. Pour this mixture over the ribs. Peel, core, and slice the apple and
place the slices over the ribs. Add raisins. Bake in the oven at 350 degrees F.
for another 35 minutes or until the ribs are
done.
****
TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****
How can I tell if a strand of pearls is
real?
 Want to know if you've got the real thing? Rub the strand
across the front of your upper teeth. It may sound strange, but according to the
links we visited real pearls will feel rough or gritty while fake ones will feel
smooth. This is due to the micropores found on the genuine article. Imitation
pearls are usually made by dipping a glass or plastic bead into a solution of
fish scales. The coating is generally fairly thin and will chip over time. Check
the pearls for tiny chips or flakes near the hole drilled through them. If you
see chips, chances are your pearls are fake.
Try holding the pearls in your hand for a
minute. The real pearls will feel cold initially, then will warm.
Real
pearls can be either natural or cultured. Natural pearls are formed when a
mollusk secretes a substance called nacre to coat an irritant that makes its way
inside the animal's shell. Cultured pearls are formed with a little human help
-- an irritant is purposely introduced into the shell of the animal. You usually
need an x-ray or an expert to distinguish between natural and cultured
pearls.
****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Nothing makes
people go into debt like trying to keep up with people who already are.
LAST CALL Y'ALL
Girls have an unfair advantage over men; if they can't get
what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
 
HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA
HEAR!
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there
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