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From Carlisle
,Indiana
U.S.A.  Welcome to The Funnies "Friends
are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However, They are, PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair almost anything. Welcome New
Subscribers FRIDAY APRIL 27,2007 Ernest Tubb Midnite
Jamboree 60th Anniversary Celebration Shirley's ressypees e-zine We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular recipe, send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca SUBSCRIBE RessyPees-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& You can join The Funnies IT'S FREE To subscribe, Click on link below 25438-subscribe@zinester.com &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& **** DIABETIC NEWS **** Study Finds Major Depression Connection to Diabetes WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Elderly people who are depressed are more likely to become diabetic than those who are not, according to a study that suggests depression may play a role in causing the most common form of diabetes. Writing on Monday in the Archives of Internal Medicine, the researchers said people with a high number of symptoms of depression were about 60 percent more likely to develop type 2 diabetes, formerly called adult-onset diabetes, than people who are not depressed. Unlike some other studies examining a link between depression and diabetes, this one looked at the effects not only of single bouts of depression but also of chronic depression and depression that worsened over time. It found an increased risk for diabetes in each of those scenarios. Researchers tracked 4,681 men and women in North Carolina, California, Maryland and Pennsylvania ages 65 and older, with an average age of 73, who did not have diabetes when the study began in 1989. For 10 years, they were screened annually for 10 symptoms of depression, including those related to mood, irritability, calorie intake, concentration and sleep. "People who report higher depressive symptoms may not take as good a care of themselves as they should," lead researcher Mercedes Carnethon of the Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine said in an interview. "For example, they may be less physically active, and thus more likely to gain weight, which is the primary risk factor for diabetes," Carnethon said. But the study statistically accounted for known lifestyle risk factors for diabetes like being overweight and sedentary, and still found that depression increased the risk of diabetes. Carnethon said the findings suggest depression may play a role in causing diabetes. While the study did not explore possible biological mechanisms, Carnethon said a high level of the stress hormone cortisol in depressed people may be the reason. Diabetes is marked by high levels of blood glucose result- ing from defects in the production or action of insulin, which allows glucose to enter the body's cells for use as fuel. High cortisol levels, the researchers said, may cut insulin sensitivity and raise fat deposits around the waist. "Diabetes not only causes heart disease, but is strongly related to strokes, blindness, kidney failure, amputations. Diabetes is a very serious condition that's highly prevalent in older adults," Carnethon said. Diabetes is a growing worldwide problem, closely tied to obesity. Type 2 diabetes accounts for about 95 percent of all cases. The findings point to the importance of doctors screening older adults for depression and, if it's present, for diabetes risk, Carnethon said. Copyright 2007 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved. Diabetic Recipe Easy Sticky Buns 10 Servings 1 packet Butter Buds Mix, dry 1/4 cup hot water 3 tablespoons packed light brown sugar 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1 1/2 tablespoons chopped walnuts 1 package (7.5 ounces) refrigerated biscuits 1. Preheat oven to 375°F. Spray an 8-inch round baking pan with nonstick cooking spray. 2. In a small bowl, combine the Butter Buds, water, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Pour into the prepared pan. Sprinkle with nuts. Arrange the biscuits in a single layer on top of the nuts. 3. Bake 15 to 20 minutes or until well browned. Immediately invert onto a serving plate. Per serving: 80 calories, 1 g protein, 2 g total fat (<1 g saturated fat), 16 g carbohydrate, 0 cholesterol, 240 mg sodium Exchanges: 1 carbohydrate (1 bread/starch) Copyright 1997-2001 Diabetic-Lifestyle **** Reader's Submissions
**** "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects." Arnold H. Glasgow ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ Here we are with another collection of GRINS, GIGGLES and GROANERS. ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..." He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, what is butt dust?" & Church was pretty much over at that point ..... ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it." ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ Roger is a hard worker, and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend, his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club (work with me here). The doorman at the club spots them and says "Hey Roger! How are you tonight?" His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before. "No, no. He's just one of the guys I bowl with." They are seated, and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says "Nice to see you, Roger. A gin and tonic as usual?" His wife's eyes widen. "You must come here a lot!" "No, no" says Roger "I just know her from volleyball." Then a stripper walks up to the table. She throws her arms around Roger and says "Roger! A table dance as usual?" His wife, fuming, collects her things and storms out of the bar. Roger follows her and spots her getting into a cab, so he jumps into the passenger seat. His wife looks at him, seething with fury and lets Roger have it with both barrels. At this, the cabby leans over and says "Sure looks like you picked up a bitch tonight, Roger!" ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ An old italian couple is walking around in the mall. After a while they get separated so the woman goes up to the first saleswoman she sees and ask: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The saleswoman answers that she hasn't seen her husband. So the Italian woman goes to aks another saleswoman: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" "No, I'm sorry maam, I haven't seen your husband." The Italian woman goes to see one more saleswoman and ask: "Escusa me, have you senn-a me Tony. He's got a big-a belly and a-lots of curly black hair?" The saleswoman answers: "Yes I saw him, he ran out of here lickety split." To which the Italian woman answers: "No no no, that's not-a my tony, he pinch-a the bum, grab-a the breasts but he no lickety split!" ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ Judi spotted Jon across a crowded room at a convention in Las Vegas. Easing up next to him, Judi asked Jon if he would like to join her for a drink. "I don't know," said Jon. "I've got a wife and two kids at home..." To which Judi replied, "I don't know you. You don't know me. They don't know us, and we don't know them." Jon thought about it for a second and then agreed. A few drinks later, Judi invited Jon up to her room for a nightcap. When Jon hesitated again, she said, "I don't know you. You don't know me. They don't know us, and we don't know them." And Jon agreed. After a few more drinks in Judi's room, the two of them were starting to get pretty friendly, and judi asked if Jon would be interested in a little party. Jon, bewildered, exclaimed, "If don't know you, you don't know me, they don't know us, and we don't know them, then who the hxxl are we going to invite?!" ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full." The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies." The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..." Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "I'll have you know I converted to your religion." The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?" Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem." "Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more." Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger." "That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a manger?" Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!" ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ A Collection of Divorce Jokes ... just for the fun of it. Ed told me his friend was going thru a divorce and told him "I call my ex-wife Maranda. She used everything I ever said against me in a court of law." <><><><><> Diana said, After my recent breakup and the hell I went through, I quickly dropped a few pounds. Not quite Ally-McBeal- thin but close. I ran into a friend of mine who was surprised at the quick change and commented, "Damn, you've lost a lot of weight". My response to him, "Yep, lost 220 pounds of fat German bxxxxxd". <><><><><> My good friend Doc was telling me he and his wife were splitting up the debts and assets. The main asset, of course, was the house. My ex's *truly* serious suggestion: "Since the house payment is a little more than the credit card payments, I'll do you a favor and take the house and the house payment and you can take the credit card debt." (Did you divorce Judi, Doc?) <><><><><> Di's hairdresser friend caught her husband fooling around with a customer and promptly kicked him out. A few days later, she received a call from the woman whom her husband had been fooling around with. The woman said, "I know this is a difficult situation, but does this mean you won't still cut my hair?" <><><><><> Karen was telling me that her to-be-ex, a police officer, asked the judge to please remind her to re-register a gun he'd given her in her name. "You see, your honor, to buy it, I had to register it in my name." The judge said, "Why's this so impor- tant?" "Because, Your Honor, I don't want to be shot with 'my own gun'." The judge had to hold a piece of paper in front of his face to hide his laughter. <><><><><> Richard said he had a hat that says, "For sale- Ex Wife. Take over payments." <><><><><> When Linda was moving out of her place, she'd found a bag of marijuana seeds in the dresser drawer. She tossed 'em out into the raised vegetable beds. "A few months later, a friend called me and told me that my ex had been busted by the cops for growing pot in the back yard!" <><><><><> Di's hairdresser friend caught her husband fooling around with a customer and promptly kicked him out. A few days later, she received a call from the woman whom her husband had been fooling around with. The woman said, "I know this is a difficult situation, but does this mean you won't still cut my hair?" <><><><><> Karen was telling me that her to-be-ex, a police officer, asked the judge to please remind her to re-register a gun he'd given her in her name. "You see, your honor, to buy it, I had to register it in my name." The judge said, "Why's this so impor- tant?" "Because, Your Honor, I don't want to be shot with 'my own gun'." The judge had to hold a piece of paper in front of his face to hide his laughter. <><><><><> Richard said he had a hat that says, "For sale- Ex Wife. Take over payments." <><><><><> When Linda was moving out of her place, she'd found a bag of marijuana seeds in the dresser drawer. She tossed 'em out into the raised vegetable beds. "A few months later, a friend called me and told me that my ex had been busted by the cops for growing pot in the back yard!"
This is pretty cute whether you're Lutran, Catolik or nun of dem! ANNOUNCEMENT: VE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTRAN AIR IS NOW OPERATING FROM DULUTH AIRPORT. YA SHURE, YA BETCHA! DIS IS DA LATEST AIR SERICE TO SPROUT UP IN MINNYSOTA. ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA. If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a upliftin experience. Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight. Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, hot dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft. Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free will-offereing and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met. Pay attention now to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Air 599. "Okay den, listen up you guys. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or some t hing of dat nature, and I vouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to vorry about den dat. Yust stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it. In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and yust hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against us," which isn't right, but vut can you do? Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, He vou l d have put your mout on da side of your head. Ve start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffee pot up front . Den ve'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin! Right now I'll say Grace. Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or pretty close. Amen!" ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ Born in 1931, the youngest of six children, I learned to share my parents' love. Raising six children during the Depression took its toll on my parents' relationship though, and when I was eighteen years old, they divorced. Daddy never had very close relationships with his children and drifted even farther away from us after the divorce. Several years later a wonderful woman came into his life, and they were married. She had two sons – one of them still at home. Under her influence, we became a "blended family" and a good relationship developed between the two families. She always treated us as if we were her own children. It was because of our other mother – Daddy's second wife – that he became closer to his own children. They shared over twenty-five years together before our father passed away. At the time of his death, the question came up of my mother (Daddy's first wife) attending his funeral. I will never forget the unconditional love shown by my stepmother when I asked her if she would object to Mother attending Daddy's funeral. Without giving it a second thought, she immediately replied, "Of course not, Honey – she's the mother of my children." ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ How do Singapore's auto laws importantly differ from those in the U.S? No two-cycle engines are allowed in Singapore. The license fee for a new car is small, about $5, but as the vehicle grows older, the fee increases. When the auto reaches 8 years old, it is no longer allowed on the streets. This is opposite of the license-fee structure in the U.S. While strict, Singapore's auto law has virtually wiped out air pollution in the country. ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ HEAP o' FACTS ... Just for the heck of it ..... The average life span of a major league baseball is seven pitches. Martha Stewart is the 381st richest person in the world. Your brain stopped growing at age 4. Per capita, Canada has more doughnut shops than any other country. The five most common surnames in the United States are Smith, Johnson, Williams, Jones and Brown, in that order. The names of the six Gummi Bears are Gruffi, Cubbi, Tummi, Zummi, Sunni and Grammi. A flea can jump 350 times its body length. That's the equivalent of a human jumping the length of a football field. Australian Suresh Joachim holds 16 world records, including balancing on one foot for 76.5 hours, standing motionless for 21.5 hours and nonstop crawling for 35 miles. (Now aren't you envious?) D.W. Griffith invented false eyelashes. About 27 tons of dust rains down on the Earth each day from space. An ear of corn never has an odd number of rows ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ And we end this edition of GGG with a bit of Wit and Wisdom SPECIAL THOUGHTS: I dreamed death came the other night And heaven's gate swung wide. With kindly grace an angel Ushered me inside. And there to my astonishment Stood folks I'd known on earth, Some I'd judged and labeled Unfit, of little worth. Indignant words rose to my lips But never were set free-- For every face showed stunned surprise, Not one expected me! Author Unknown ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥ "Friends are God's way of taking care of us." ≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤≥≤ **** HEADS UP FOLKS **** These Are My Causes Please Help This is a link for FREE virus protection http://avast.com It is excellent. I use it myself ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation http://www.organdonor.gov/ It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram" for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. http://www.thebreastcancersite.com & The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know! http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Indecision is the key to flexibility ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is a link for FREE virus protection http://avast.com It is excellent ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Unser, 45, of Henderson,
did not appear in person before Justice of the Peace Stephen George, who
set trial for July 11. "There's a chance it
might get resolved before that date," Unser's lawyer, Andrew Leavitt, said
following the brief court hearing. Leavitt declined to address
circumstances surrounding Unser's Jan. 25 arrest. The Nevada Highway Patrol
said Unser failed field sobriety tests before he was charged with driving
under the influence, misdemeanor hit and run, failure to render aid in an
accident and failure to report an accident. The patrol said Unser was
driving a black Ford Excursion when it sideswiped a Mazda sedan that
crashed into a cement median on the Las Vegas Beltway. Unser is the son of
Indianapolis 500 racing legend Al Unser and nephew of three-time Indy
winner Bobby Unser. He won the Indy 500 in 1992 and 1994, and won two CART
points titles and two IROC championships. Unser also has had bouts
with alcohol abuse and depression, and underwent treatment for alcohol
abuse in 2002 after his girlfriend said he hit her in the face while drunk
in Indianapolis. Prosecutors did not file charges against him in that
case. By
A.J. Perez, USA TODAY
IRL IndyCar Series
rookie Milka Duno is used to being questioned about her driving
ability.
"I was 12 when the police stopped me," the 35-year-old Venezuelan says. "It was so clear that I was too young to drive. You had to be 18" to have a license. She was on the streets of Caracas in a large Chevrolet she "borrowed" from her parents. She had picked up on how to drive by watching her father use the column shifter on the Chevy to put the car into gear. "The policeman said, 'You're so young. Why are you driving this car? Where's your mother?' " Duno recalls. "I told him I was going
to the pharmacy to get some medicine for my sick mother," who was healthy. "Any
other 12-year-old child might be in a panic, but I analyzed this event and I
stayed cool. I didn't start to cry. I didn't say, 'Please don't tell my mother.'
The police let me go." -27- Jimmie Skinner born Blue Lick, KY 1909. Sydney Nathan, record company executive, born Cincinnati, OH 1927. Tommy Hill, artist/songwriter/A&R man/record label owner, wrote "Slowly" and "Teddy Bear," born near Coy City, TX 1929. Maxine Brown born Sampti, LA 1931. Herb Pedersen, singer/songwriter/session-musician, born Berkley, CA 1944. Bob Wills recorded "Faded Love," 1950. Ricky Nelson released "I'm Walkin," 1957. Ray Charles' single "Take These Chains From My Heart" charted 1963. The Opryland USA theme park debuted in Nashville, TN 1971. Tom T. Hall recorded "Willy The Wandering Gypsy And Me" 1972. Waylon Jennings' "This Time," charted 1974. Charlie Rich's albums "Very Special Love Songs" and "There Won't Be Anymore," were #1 and #2 on the country album charts 1974. Denver Darling, age 72, singer/songwriter, died 1981. Garth Brooks released his "No Fences" album 1990. Mercury Records released Harley Allen's album "Another River" 1996. Trisha Yearwood was on hand as officials in Monticello, Georgia renamed highway 83N, "Trisha Yearwood Parkway" in 2001. Edward L. Gaylord, age 83, chairman of Gaylord Entertainment, died in Oklahoma City, OK 2003. An unidentified person threw a brick, from an Interstate overpass, striking the front windshield of Joe Diffie's tour bus. The window was shattered, however there were no injuries reported to the police 2004. Martie Maguire and husband Gareth welcomed two new members to their family in 2004. Twins, Kathleen Emile, and Eva Ruth were born in Texas. Maguire is a member of the Dixie Chicks. Loretta Lynn released her album "Van Lear Rose" 2004. **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS **** 25th Annual
Colgate Country Showdown�To Air On GAC Why are you supposed to ice an injury? What
exactly does it do?
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