---

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Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

TUESDAY JULY  24,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY:  Monday's suck,Tuesdays do too.
If you make out your income tax return correctly, you
go to the poor-house; if you don't, you go to the pen.

True Story: I invited a good friend of mine named Nick to a bowhunting expedition in the nearby mountains where I live in New Mexico. He took his young nephew "Little Ray" with him who was ten years old at the time. Little Ray's job was to lug around a backpack that contained lunch for Nick and himself. It was treacherous terrain and soon Little Ray started to fall behind complaining about how heavy his backpack was. Nick and I were tired too for we also had heavy gear to carry, but, Nick graciously offered to carry Little Ray's backpack for him. After a few miles, Nick was looking very weary and started complaining about how heavy the backpack was also. Grumbling under his breath "Just what the heck is in this thing anyway", Nick unzipped the backpack and dumped the contents on the ground. The contents of the backpack:

Little Ray's rock collection which he had started that morning the moment we left the truck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman has accused her dentist of storming into a crowded bar and yanking out her dentures because she failed to pay her dental bill.

The 58-year-old New York woman has paid what she owed since the incident last week authorities said. They said her assault complaint against the dentist was under investigation.

The dentist was out of his office Friday when police went to question him, but his assistant showed them a plastic bag containing the dentures and said the woman could pick them up when convenient, a police official said
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Having survived my first driving lesson, I emerged from the car to come face to face with a woman standing on the pavement. "A bit nerve-wracking, was it?" she asked.

"More than that," I laughed, "My instructor reeks of BO and has a bit of a wind problem. No way do I want a lesson from him again!"

"I know the feeling," said the woman coolly. "I've been married to him for 20 years."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Safety was job one at my company. During a safety training course, the instructor asked our group, "Does your company have an evacuation plan in place?"

"Yes," said one employee, "and it works without a hitch!"

"Really?" said the instructor. "How'd you do that?"

"We practice every day at five o'clock."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Say, Bill," a man said to his pal, "how do you like your new job?"

"It's the worst damn job I ever had."

"How long have you been there?"

"About three freakin months."

"Why don't you quit?"

"No way. This is the first time in 20 years I've looked forward to going home."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Getting old is so hard at times.

Yesterday I got the Preparation 'H' mixed up with the Polygrip.

Now, I walk funny, but - my gums don't itch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duh
The first day at my new health club, I asked the young woman at the front desk, "What are your hours? I like to exercise after work."

"Our club is open 24/7," she said excitedly. "Monday through Saturday."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NEW CASTLE, Del. - After you rob a woman it's probably not a good idea to ask her out. Police stated that after two men robbed a Domino's Pizza delivery woman one of the suspects called her on his cell phone to apologize and ask for a date. The victim wasn't interested in him, but was interested in giving the police his cell phone number. Brent Brown, 25, was arrested along with 18-year-old Andre Moore and now faces second-degree robbery charges. Police are still on the lookout for a 16-year-old suspect that was connected to the crime. Officers searched the boy's home And found the evidence they needed, pizza boxes with the receipt. Hey, there are easier ways to meet women.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Absolutely no relation
(inside joke)
MACHIAS, Maine - Faking chest pains and pretending to have a heart attack may not be the best ways to avoid paying the bill at a restaurant. Elias I. Elias, 54, will most likely realize this as he spends the next 90 days in jail. According to authorities, Elias would order a meal, eat and enjoy, and then fake his need for medical assistance when the check arrived. He would be taken to a local hospital but usually left before police arrived. District Attorney Paul Cavanaugh said the most recent incident marked the 13th time that Elias tried to skip paying the check. Elias' court-appointed attorney, Jeffrey Davidson, told the judge that the homeless and unemployed man just wanted to eat a restaurant meal "like anybody else."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yogi Berra, famous baseball catcher, was notorious for swinging at bad pitching. One day he reached for three wild ones in succession and struck out. Muttering in disbelief, he mumbled to nobody in particular, "How does a pitcher like that ever stay in the league?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a
friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on.

While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears
this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It was
only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal
injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house
attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears
the tea kettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet
and proceeds to batter and bash the tea kettle into an unrecognizable
lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen,
sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good
tea kettle?"

The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're
small."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man went into a greasy diner and ordered a milkshake, and then
realized he had to go to the bathroom. Worried someone might steal his
milkshake, he took a paper napkin and wrote on it, "World's Strongest
Weight Lifter."

Leaving the warning under the milkshake glass, he disappeared into the
men's room.

When he returned a few minutes later, the glass was empty and under it
was a new napkin with a message that said,

         "World's Fastest Runner!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mr Jackson arrived at Chicago's O'Hare ariport and spotted a
computerized weight machine in the lobby. Curious, as to what his weight
is, he drops a quarter into the slot and steps onto the scale.

A soft voice announces, "You are five feet, ten inches tall, you weigh
165 pounds, and you are taking a plane to Michigan."

Impressed by the machine's accuracy, he tries it again.

"You are five feet, ten inches tall," the voice repeats, "weigh 165
pounds, and you are taking a plane to Michigan."

The third time he dicides to try to fool the machine. He took his
suitcase into the men's room and changes into a different coat and tie.

Pulling his hat over his ears to hide his face, Mr Jackson drops another
quarter in the weight machine.

Again, he hears the all too familiar soft voice announce. . .

"You are five feet, ten inches tall, weigh 165 pounds," the voice
announces, then adds. . . .

      "and while you were changing clothes, you missed the plane to
Michigan!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of
the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the
dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck"

A third child brought the argument to a close..."They use the dogs", she
said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were two guys on a motorcycle driving down the road.
The driver was wearing a leather jacket that didn't have a zipper or any
buttons.

Finally he stopped the bike and told the other guy,
"I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in my chest."

After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on backwards to
block the air from hitting him. So they were driving down the road and
they came around this curb and wrecked. The farmer that lived there
called the police and told them what happened.

The police asked him,"are either of them showing any life signs?"

The farmer then said, "well, that first one was 'til I
turned his head around the right way."

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**** ON THIS DAY ****

THE OLD PHONE

When I was quite young, my father had one of the first
telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the polished,
old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung
on the side of the box. I was too
little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with
fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful
device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information
Please" and there as nothing she did not know. Information
Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came
one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing
myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my
finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there
seemed no point in crying because there was no one home
to give sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger,
finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly,
I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to
the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the
parlor and held it to my ear. "Information, please" I
said into the mouthpiece just above my head.

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.

"Information."

"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears
came readily enough now that I had an audience.

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and
it hurts."

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

I said I could.

"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your
finger," said the voice.

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything.
I asked her for help with my geography, and she told me
where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math. She
told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park
just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I
called, 'Information Please," and told her the sad story.
She listened, and then said things grown-ups say to
soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her,
"Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and
bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of
feathers on the bottom of a cage?"

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly,
"Paul always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."

"Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I
spell fix?" I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific
Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved across
the country to Boston. I missed my friend very much.
"Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box
back home and I somehow never thought of trying the
shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As
I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood
conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall
the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated
now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have
spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane
put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour or so
between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone
with my sister, who lived there now. Then without
thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator
and said, "Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.

"Information."

I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying, "Could
you please tell me how to spell fix?"

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer,
"I guess your finger must have healed by now."

I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you
have any idea how much you meant to me during that time?"

I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant
to me. I never had any children and I used to look forward
to your calls."

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years
and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to
visit my sister.

"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

Three months later I was back in Seattle. A different voice
answered, "Information." I asked for Sally.

"Are you a friend?" she said.

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she said. "Sally had
been working part-time the last few years because she was
sick. She died five weeks ago." Before I could hang up she
said, "Wait a minute, did you say your name was Paul?"
"Yes." I answered.

"Well, Sally left a message for you. She wrote it down in
case you called Let me read it to you."

The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.
He'll know what I mean."

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.
~~~~~~
Well it's 6:30 AM here right
now. The missing alarm clock just went off. I didn't even bother to go
try to find it today. We lost it about 6 months ago. It goes off at 6:30
AM every single day. We know the area where it is at. We've all been up,
waiting for it to go off, in the last 6 months. We just can't find the
damn thing. I promise you, there is nothing but floor and carpet where
it should be. The noise comes from one area of the living room. We can't
find it, and we absolutely hate it! Problem is, we can only look for it
when it is beeping at 6:30 AM and we get about 15 -20 seconds to search
in. We have torn up that whole corner of the living room so many times
that it is no longer funny. Wen I do find that clock, I'm going to throw
it into the street and then run over it with my van. It will not live to
beep again, once it is found.......

My missing watch,in my bedroom, goes off at 4:30 am;has for the last two years.
How long do those damn batteries last?.....Jim

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American Heart Association web site on physical activity for women

and men. Features include health facts, practical tips, fitness news, a

personal trainer, user forums and event calendar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@joink.com
     subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 **** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****

Fans embrace return of open-wheel racing to Mid-Ohio Fans embrace return of open-wheel racing to Mid-Ohio July 21, 2007 By Bruce Martin PA SportsTicker Contributing Editor STEAM CORNERS, Ohio (Ticker) - Big-time open-wheel racing has returned to the Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course for the first time since Paul Tracy won a Champ Car Series race here in 2003, and the fans have returned to this picturesque area to watch the IndyCar Series prepare for Sunday's Honda 200. That has impressed the drivers who qualified on Saturday in front of a large and enthusiastic crowd. "When we came here for the test day last month there were a lot of excited fans and the people that were here were intense," said Danica Patrick after qualifying second on Saturday. "They know about racing here, they are educated, they follow it and the fan base is excited about having IndyCar racing back at Mid-Ohio. "After driving for Rahal Letterman for a few years and living down in Columbus, I know how passionate the fans are here for their open wheel racing. I'm glad they have embraced us in the IndyCar Series." Helio Castroneves won the pole, his sixth of the season which ties Billy Boat's record for most poles in one season set in 1998. "This place here is a tradition," Castroneves said. "I remember watching the IndyCar series when I lived in Brazil and this race. The mounds and the hills on this course are full of people and it's just awesome. It's fun when you go out there and see a lot of people. "It was the right move for the IndyCar Series to come here." Patrick said racing in front of large crowds gives the competitors an extra feeling of excitement. "We were walking about to go to my first Indianapolis 500 and Helio said to me, there are so many fans here, it's so exciting, I wish all the races could be just like this," Patrick recalled. "That is what makes the racing so much fun is to have people who want you here and are so excited to have you here. There is nothing worse than feeling like you aren't entertaining anyone. "The fans take it to a whole new level." INDY PRO SERIES DRIVER GETS INDYCAR RIDE FOR CHICAGOLAND: Super Aguri Panther Racing will move Indy Pro Series driver Hideki Mutoh up to IndyCar for the season-finale at Chicagoland Speedway in September. Mutoh will join Panther drivers Kosuke Matsuura and Vitor Meira. He will drive a No. 60 Formula Dream Dallara Honda for his IndyCar debut. "I'm very happy and excited about this opportunity to race for Super Aguri Panther Racing in the IndyCar Series," Mutoh said. "I have learned a lot this season in the Indy Pro Series and want to do well at Chicagoland. It has been a goal of mine since I arrived in the United States. I also look forward to working with Vitor and Kosuke, who have been a big help to me as I adjust to this style of racing." Mutoh is second in the Indy Pro Series Championship behind Alex Lloyd. Last season, he competed in the Formula Nippon Championship and the Super GT Championship, where he started on the pole and won his final event at Fuji Speedway. "I've said it before this year, but Hideki reminds me of Sam Hornish," said Panther owner John Barnes. "In racing, it's one thing to be fast, but Mutoh is mentally tough and he never quits in a race car the same qualities that helped Hornish be so successful in the No. 4 car. "I've seen it since day one with Hideki and he's proved that time and again on the race track this season." ROW YOUR BOAT: When Helio Castroneves came to the IndyCar Series in 2002, he probably never realized he would one day tie early Indy Racing League driver Billy Boat for most poles in one season. "I'll take any record I can get," Castroneves said. "I always thought it was Greg Ray that had the record for most poles. Now that I've tied Billy Boat, next race I'm going to try to break his record. HORNISH MISSES SATURDAY SIX: For the first time in his IndyCar career, three-time champion Sam Hornish Jr. missed the "Saturday Six" on a road course. Hornish was the seventh fastest qualifier in Saturday's single lap qualifications with a lap at 118.895 miles per hour. "We went out there and just tried to run a smooth lap with the goal of making it into the top six, but it's really hard to go out there and not run as fast as you can," Hornish said. "Obviously we're disappointed with the result because we definitely had a lot left in the car. Track position is always important on the road courses, so I'll just have to stay out of trouble and rely on my crew for some quick stops in hopes of moving up through the field. Hopefully, we'll be up to the challenge."

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-24-

Arval Albert Hogan, born Robbinsville, NC 1911.

Donald "Red" Blanchard, "WLS National Barn Dance," born Pittsville, WI 1914.

Lawton Williams singer/songwriter born Troy, TN 1922.

The Crook Brothers debuted on WSM's "Barn Dance" 1926. Shortly thereafter, the show was re-named the "Grand Ole Opry." Almost every Saturday night for sixty-two years the Crook Brothers were on stage, entertaining another Opry audience.

The following ad was placed in the Bristol Herald Courier, by a local company that distributed Victrola products. "The Victor Company will have a recording machine in Bristol for ten days beginning Monday, to record records—Inquire at our store." 1927. The following day, the most important recording sessions in the history of country music were began in Bristol, Tennessee. They are know as "The Bristol Sessions."

Max D. Barnes, singer/songwriter, born Hardscratch, IA 1936.

Bob Wills recorded "Cherokee Maiden" 1941.

Chet Atkins, age 17, was employed by WRBL in Columbus, GA 1941.

Roy Acuff announced his intent to run for governor of Tennessee 1948.

Pam Tillis born Plant City, FL 1957.

Johnny Cash recorded "What Do I Care" & "Oh, What A Dream" 1958.

Patsy Cline's #1 country hit "I Fall To Pieces" charted 1961.

Ral Donner's "You Don't Know What You've Got" (Until You Lose it) charted 1961.

Capitol Records released Buck Owens' single "Under The Influence Of Love," 1961. The record peaked at No. 2 on the charts.

Marty Robbins signed with MCA Records 1973.

Lester "Mac" McFarland, age 82, of "Mac & Bob" died 1984.

Reprise Records released Emmylou Harris' "Duets" album 1990.

Gretchen Wilson's album "Here For The Party" topped the charts 2004.

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Country star McCready faces Florida charges

By AMY SOWDER
The Fort Myers News-Press


Nashville-based country singer Mindy McCready was charged with assaulting her mother Saturday in Fort Myers, Fla., and with resisting officers called to the disturbance.

The Florida native, whose songs such as “Ten Thousand Angels” have topped country music charts, faces two misdemeanor charges of domestic battery and resisting arrest.

The singer had returned early Saturday from a restaurant to her mother's North Fort Myers home and was intoxicated, said Sgt. Larry King, Lee County Sheriff's spokesman.

“She began fighting with her mom and, at some point, she scratched her across the face,” King said.

McCready’s mother called police shortly before 1 a.m.

When deputies arrived, McCready wouldn't let them handcuff her, according to the police report. A female deputy fought McCready to the ground and handcuffed her, King said.

When the singer was booked into Lee County Jail at about 2:30 a.m. Saturday, she caused a disturbance and wouldn't settle down when a deputy asked her to, King said. She then refused to be handcuffed again.

Deputies sprayed McCready with an agent similar to pepper spray.

By Saturday evening, McCready was out of jail after posting $1,000 bail. She is scheduled to appear in court Aug. 14.

The 31-year-old blonde-haired, blue-eyed singer has had other troubles in recent years.

In 2004, she pled guilty to fraudulently obtaining a prescription drug at a Brentwood pharmacy. She said the pills were not for her.

In May 2005, Billy McKnight, McCready’s then-boyfriend and father of her infant son, Zander, was arrested in connection with an attempted murder of the singer. The week before, she had been arrested on a drunken-driving charge.

In September 2005, McCready was hospitalized for an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs. She has attempted suicide twice, but has been in counseling, according to news media reports.



McCready: Cops used excessive force during arrest


Mindy McCready is best known for her 1996 hit, Guys Do It All the Time.

By AMY SOWDER, The (Fort Myers, Fla.) News-Press

FORT MYERS, Fla. — Country singer Mindy McCready said Lee County Sheriff's deputies used excessive force when they arrested her as she held her baby after arguing with her mother in her North Fort Myers, Fla., home.
Police reports state the country singer, who had a rising career until she faced run-ins with the law, was causing a disturbance and was resisting arrest.

She faces two misdemeanor charges of domestic battery and resisting arrest.

"It's been a nightmare," McCready said Sunday night.

The 31-year-old singer had returned sometime between Friday night and Saturday morning from a Fort Myers restaurant to the family's North Fort Myers home and was intoxicated, said sheriff's spokesman Sgt. Larry King.

FIND MORE STORIES IN: Superman I Fort Myers I Teri Hatcher I Mindy Mccready I Lee County I Dean Cain I Mccready
Deputies said they could smell alcohol on McCready's breath.

"She began fighting with her mom and, at some point, she scratched her across the face," King said.

Deputies first received a call from McCready's mother, Melody Inge, shortly before 1 a.m., about her daughter being intoxicated and causing a disturbance.

Inge wasn't available for comment.

McCready said the family had been playing Scrabble at their home. That's when a family issue they were discussing got out of hand.

The singer said that she told authorities they weren't needed. McCready said that deputies escalated what was only a family argument by taking it out of context.

"I was holding my baby at the time," McCready said of Zander McCready, 15 months. "They tackled me. They didn't give any directions. They just tackled. There was no reason for it. To take down a woman holding a baby, it's just not right."

A deputy took Zander from McCready as she was tackled, so he was not injured, she said.

King said that when deputies arrived, McCready was out of control and wouldn't let them handcuff her. Then, a female deputy fought McCready to the ground and handcuffed her, King said.

McCready said they broke her nose, and that she has bruises all over her body from the way they handled her.

The singer was booked into the Lee County Jail at 2:28 a.m. Saturday, the booking log shows.

During the booking, McCready again caused a disturbance and wouldn't settle down at a deputy's request, King said. She then refused to be handcuffed again.

That's when deputies sprayed her with a substance similar to pepper spray.

McCready said they told her they weren't arresting her and they wouldn't answer when she asked why they were taking all her personal belongings.

By 7:05 p.m. Saturday, McCready had posted her $1,000 bail and was released.

A decade ago, the Fort Myers native was a rising star in Nashville country music scene. McCready's first album, 1996's Ten Thousand Angels, produced four hits and sold 2 million copies. She appeared in magazines and was once engaged to actor Dean Cain who played Superman opposite Teri Hatcher in the TV show Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.

McCready has faced several troubles in recent years.

In May 2005, McCready's then-boyfriend, Billy McKnight, was arrested in connection with her attempted murder.

In September 2005, McCready was hospitalized for an overdose on alcohol and prescription drugs. 


 **** Amy's Kitchen ****  
Sour Cream Meat Balls

1-1/2 pounds lean ground beef
1 (8oz) carton sour cream
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. salt
Mix ground beef, garlic powder, salt and 1/2 of the sour cream
together. Form into balls. Brown balls in skillet and place in baking
dish. Spread remaining sour cream on meat balls and bake at 350° for
30 minutes.

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Which president is on the $2 bill?

Thomas Jefferson graces the front of the $2 bill, while the signing of the Declaration of Independence by John Trumbull is portrayed on the reverse side.

The Continental Congress authorized $2 bills on June 25, 1776, as "bills of credit for the defense of America." Jefferson made his appearance on the note in 1928, and while earlier versions depicted Monticello on the reverse side, the Trumbull painting was introduced in 1976 for the Bicentennial.

There are more than a billion dollars' worth of $2 bills out there. The Bureau itself churns out around 700 million dollars worth of cash per day, but 95% of those notes are used to replace tired money. It takes money to make money; paper bills cost a little over four cents to produce.




****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Money can't buy happiness ... but somehow it's more comfortable
to cry in a Caddy than in a VW

LAST CALL Y'ALL



HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
In God I trust. All others we polygraph
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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