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Subject: The Daily Funnies - August13, 2007



 
 



From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.


Welcome to T
he Funnies
est.7-4-2000

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These  are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for  younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair almost anything.


Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all

Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help Them

Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.



MONDAY AUGUST  13,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research.



City Boy: Say, Dad, how many kinds of milk are there?
Father: Well, there's evaporated milk, buttermilk, malted
milk, and -- but why do you wish to know?

City Boy: Oh, I'm drawing a picture of a cow, and I want to
know how many *spigots* to put on her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every day (and night) I get tons of phone calls from telemarketers trying to sell me something. I hate these calls, but I always try to be polite when I say No Thank You. One night, I had a very persistent telemarketer, and no matter how many times and ways I said No thank you, not interested, he would not let up. I finally said, "Listen, I am not financially in a position to buy anything right now. I am broke and on the verge of bankruptcy."

Without missing a beat, the telemarketer said to me,
"I understand what you mean.
Why do you think I have this job right now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 10 Reasons I Love Horses"

10.Wanted to be Roy Rogers.

9. Get to wear cowboy boots.

8. Don't shed in the house.

7. Free fertilizer for the garden.

6. Get to sit up high.

5. Cool hats.

4. Park anywhere.

3. Brag about saddle sores.

2. A suger cube and a carrot make them happy.

1. Don't have to change the oil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact."

"Oh," replied the waitress," I thought you wanted more coffee."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways. He was told to
meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that two trains
were heading for each other on the same track?"

Billy Bob replied, "I would switch the points for one of the trains."

"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.

"Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Billy Bob, "and I'd use
the manual lever over there."

"What if that had been struck by lightning?"

"Then," Billy Bob continued, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone
the next signal box."

"What if the phone was busy?"

"Well in that case," persevered Billy Bob, "I'd rush down out of the box
and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there."

"What if that was vandalized?"

"Oh, well then I'd run into town and go get my Uncle Lester."

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"

Billy Bob answered, "Well, Uncle Lester ain't never seen a train wreck!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After his attorney's motion to suppress evidence was denied by the court
John spoke up,

"Your Honor," he said, "What would you do if I called you a stupid,
degenerate, old fool!"

The Judge really angered, revered,

"I would hold you in contempt of Court and see to have you put in jail
for the longest time allowed by law!"

Quickly thinking, John's shocked attorney, asked,

"What if he only 'thought' it, Your Honor?"

"In that case, there is nothing I could do, he has the right to think
whatever he wishes." replied the Judge.

"Oh I see," said john, "then, if it pleases the court, let the record
reflect that I 'think' you're a stupid, degenerate, old fool!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daffynitions Not Found in Webster's. . . .

Secret: what we tell everyone not to tell anyone.

Hospital: where you might wind up if you get run down.

Nudist: a person who is never clothes-minded.

Twins: womb-mates.

Tension: what the sergeant shouts to the troops.

Bargain Basement: a place where what you seize is what you get.

Zinc: what you do if you can't zwim.

Paralyze: a couple of fibs.

Bacteria: rear entrance to a cafeteria.

Seamstress: a real material girl.

Diploma: the person you call when your toilet backs up.

Operetta: an employee of the phone company.

Calculator: a product you can count on.

Microwave: a head full of tiny curls.

Jail cell: a bar room.

Golf cart: a vehicle with a fore cylinder engine.

Minister: a man who is the soul support of his family.

Cashew: the noise a nut makes when it sneezes.

Stupendous: advanced stupidity.

Hurricane: what Abel said to his brother when he was late for school.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


 


 



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**** Reader's Submissions ****

 

Boy,I wish it was
 
**** TODAYS LINKS ****

Slide show about the Many Glacier area in Glacier National park.
 
 

 
 
Game Orbox
Guide the box to the exit using the blocks along the way.
http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=223

 Test your power of observation a
 quiz about things you see every day.
 
Introduction to Reading Music
 
State Histories
 
Factory Tours USA
http://factorytoursusa.com/

Guide to Common Home Laundering & Drycleaning Symbols
http://www.textileaffairs.com/c-common.htm

Subject: Photos of Spiders - University of Nebraska
http://lancaster.unl.edu/enviro/pest/SpiderPhoto.htm
 
Game
 Game Robix
Get 10 marbles to the bottom before the computer does.

**** ON THIS DAY ****


**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American Heart Association web site on physical activity for women

and men. Features include health facts, practical tips, fitness news, a
personal trainer, user forums and event calendar.
http://www.heart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3040778
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to
abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!

 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@joink.com
     subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 **** IRL MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****
View Videos


Special to ESPN.com Sarah's diary
 
Sarah's crash at Michigan
AP Photo/Bill Grimshaw


Michigan should have been a good race for us because the team has been working very hard on putting

together a package that should have put us in the hunt. It had been awhile since I was at MIS (2003 I think),

but I had big expectations.

Sarah Fisher and the AAMCO No. 5 Dallara/Honda took a hard hit at Michigan.

I ran up front at Michigan back in 2002 and it was a lot of fun -- leading a few laps at the end before

finishing eighth. This time would be different. My teammate Buddy Rice and I both ran midpack and never

seemed to get the speed we were looking for.

I came to Michigan last year in the hopes of putting the deal together to run Kentucky and Chicago in 2006;

so that was the first thing I thought of when I arrived at the track. After we did a Racing for Kids visit at the

children's hospital in Ann Arbor, we grabbed some lunch and it was on to the track for engineering time

with Chris.

It was a pretty short weekend, which was a nice way to get back in the swing of things after our off

weekend. The AAMCO crew worked really hard on the off weekend on a number of changes that we really

thought would give us the speed we were looking for.

We beat four people in qualifying, but nothing to write home about; I was still disappointed. It was really

amazing that we qualified better than what we turned in practice because the speed we had in practice

was from a toe. We've all been working so hard at it and the engineers are doing a great job trying to

match the tires wherever we go. It's just hard work.

For the race, just before the start my radio was not working -- I think I freaked out a bit (who wouldn't?). I

didn't have a radio I think in 2003 at the Indy 500, and it was not a lot of fun.

Buddy and I traded positions left and right but I think I had the faster car. We still couldn't seem to beat the

No. 15 Roll Coater car out of the pits. We were so close, but we'll get them in Kentucky!

I was fighting a lot of push and then after a few turns of front wing we were way too loose. Back and forth

fighting the same problem. On Lap 83 something broke on my back right and it sent me sailing into the

wall in Turn 2. Buddy said he saw something break back there; we will probably never know from all the

damage from the crash. When something like that happens, you let go of the steering wheel and you are

just a passenger.

I strained my neck, but ice and aspirin from the care center made it all better. Boy was I sore on Monday!

That was a heck of a hit ? but thankfully, I didn't taste copper.


On Lap 83 something broke on my back right and it sent me sailing into the wall in Turn 2. Buddy said he

saw something break back there; we will probably never know from all the damage from the crash. 
Sarah Fisher

So Kentucky is where it all began last year on my return to the IndyCar Series. It was a dream come true

that I could return to the sport I had grown to miss.

I'm headed to Louisville on Wednesday for my final PR advance for the season to help promote the race

on Saturday night at Kentucky Speedway.

Kentucky should be a good race for us. With only two more ovals to go, we need to have a good showing

there. Being one of my favorite places, I just hope we can still have side-by-side racing there that has

made the IndyCar Series the best open-wheel entertainment for fans. I'm also relieved to be returning to

another track that I have had many laps at. There have been several new places this year and I will be

happy to go back to one I know by heart.

The pole, the podium, the fans ? let's hope Kentucky is good to me this year. Check us out on Saturday

night on ESPN2 at 6:30 ET.

-- S

 

IndyCar Series driver Sarah Fisher drives the Dreyer & Reinbold Racing No. 5 Dallara/Honda. She is providing a diary to ESPN.com. For more on Sarah, go to www.sarahfisher.com.


Having a tough way to go 

Fisher returns to Kentucky still trying to revive open-wheel career

By WILL GRAVES, AP Sports Writer

August 10, 2007

SPARTA, Ky. (AP) -- Sarah Fisher envisioned a better comeback than this.

When she returned to the IndyCar Series circuit at the Kentucky 300 last summer, she viewed it as a job interview, and her 12th-place finish for Dreyer & Reinbold Racing earned her a full-time gig with the team this season.

 

After spending the better part of two years away from open-wheel racing, Fisher looked at 2007 as an opportunity to resurrect her career, and the series buzzed about a potential rivalry with Danica Patrick.

A year later, neither has happened.

Though Patrick has yet to win, she's been competitive and entered Saturday's race seventh in the season points race with nine Top 10 finishes. Only a flat tire late in last week's Michigan 400 seemed to get in the way of her first trip to victory lane. Winning for Patrick doesn't seem to be a question of if, but when.

For Fisher, the questions are much harder to answer. Her team has struggled to find a package that can put her near the front. She returned to Kentucky Speedway -- where she set the track record of 221.39 mph while winning the pole in 2002 -- 17th in points.

``We're not getting the most of what we can out of a two-car team at the end of the day and I wish we could,'' she said. ``I don't know what to change to fix that and I wouldn't even say if I did know. It's just not working as healthfully as I thought it would and that disappoints me.''

While teammate Buddy Rice has rallied recently -- posting five top 10s in his last six starts -- Fisher has continued a season-long slide. She has just two top 10s and has finished either 15th or 16th in the last five races.

Her struggles have her again auditioning for a job. Fisher said team owner Dennis Reinbold will return to a one-car team next year, leaving her future as murky now as it was a year ago.

``We've got to have something exciting because otherwise you can't sell what we did this year,'' she said. ``I'm working on creating that and working towards that. We'll just have to see what happens.''

Fisher is polite when talking about her team's problems, though she allows there's just so much she can do if the car isn't set up properly.

``I can only help (the engineers) to a certain extent to what the car is doing and what I would rather it do and then they've got to take it from there,'' she said.

Whatever they've tried, it hasn't worked. She qualified 14th on Friday, just the second time this season she's cracked the top 15. She has, however, managed to avoid trouble. She's failed to finish just one race all year, a testament to her maturity as a driver.

Fisher claims she isn't frustrated even as the weeks pass and she continues to run in the back half of the field. But she's no longer the wide-eyed 19-year-old who made a splash after qualifying for the 2000 Indy 500 and has learned some hard lessons while bouncing between circuits the last few years.

``It's tough to show your capabilities when you're not in good equipment,'' she said. ``It just depends on having different opportunities and weighing them.''

If given a choice, she'd prefer to stay in IndyCar, but knows it goes beyond simply being able to drive fast. She spent time in the NASCAR's Grand National West Series in 2005 and hasn't ruled out running go karts just for the fun of it.

``I've got six Indy 500 rings and they can't take them from me but I want to grow on that,'' she said. ``I never thought there'd be a halt in it. I never thought there would be a change in direction.''

There's little doubt the series could benefit from Fisher sticking around. She remains one of IndyCar's most popular drivers, and her girl-next-door demeanor makes her the natural yin to Patrick's more glamorous yang.

``She's got a lot of attention, a lot of fans,'' said Helio Castroneves. ``She is a talent, she's fast. Right now I just feel her car is not very competitive and that's why she is having a hard time.''

The strain of the season, however, hasn't hurt her relationship with crew chief Andy O'Gara. The two are getting married in Indianapolis next month, something she called ``the bright light at the end of the tunnel'' in an otherwise disappointing season. She came to Kentucky Speedway armed with invitations and laughs about a guest list that is nearing 600.

There's no telling, however, if Fisher and O'Gara will get a chance to work together again next season.

``I love open-wheel racing and I want to see the series grow itself and if I can stay here and help that then I would love to do that,'' she said. ``But I love racing in general and I'll go where the best chance to win is.''

Kanaan claims Meijer Indy 300 for second straight win

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-12-

Rex Griffin, singer/songwriter, born Gadsden, AL 1912. Elected NSHF 1970.

Smokey Warren of the Warren Brothers, born Phoenix, AZ 1916.

Porter Wagoner born near West Plains, MO 1927. Member Grand Ole Opry. Inducted CMHF 2002.

Buck Owens "Alvis Edgar Owens" born Sherman, TX 1929. Elected NSHF 1996, CMHF 1996. Buck was the co-host of Hee Haw.

Linda Parker, age 23, star of the WLS National Barn Dance, became ill during a show in Elkhart, Indiana in 1935. She was hospitalized, and died in the hospital of peritonitis on August 12th, 1935.

Paul Craft, songwriter/publisher, born Memphis, TN 1938.

Rod Bernard, singer/songwriter, born Opelousas, LA 1940.

Danny Shirley "Confederate Railroad" born Chattanooga, TN 1956.

Jim Ed Brown joined the Grand Ole Opry 1963.

Johnny Cash's "Johnny Cash At San Quentin," certified gold 1969.

Marty Robbins released "Early Morning Sunshine/Another Day Has Gone By" 1971.

Donna Fargo topped the charts with her album "Happiest Girl in the Whole U.S.A." 1972.

John Denver married his second wife, Cassandra Delaney 1988.

Patty Loveless went to #1 with "Timber, I'm Falling In Love" 1989.

The first annual birthday celebration for Buck Owens was held at the Continental Club in Austin, TX 1992.

Jean Chapel, age 70, died in Florida 1995.

Sony released Charlie Daniels' album "Campfire Songs & Cowboy Tunes" 1997.

Maggie Elizabeth McGraw, the second child of Tim McGraw and Faith Hill, was born 1998.

Eja Lange, firstborn of Shania Twain, and Mutt Lange was born 2001.

-13-

Vernon Dalhart recorded "The Prisoner's Song," country music's first million-seller 1924.

Merle Travis recorded "John Henry" 1946.

Ernest Tubb recorded "A Woman Has Wrecked Many A Good Man" 1947.

Webb Pierce recorded "Wondering," 1951.

Dan Fogelberg born Peoria, IL 1951.

Johnny Cash recorded "I Still Miss Someone" 1958.

The Stanley Brothers recorded "Stone Walls and Steel Bars" 1963.

Andy Griggs born Monroe, LA 1973.

Glen Campbell's #1 hit "Sunflower" charted 1977.

J. B. Fusilier died in 1975.

Johnny and June Carter Cash renewed their wedding vows in Jamaica 1979.

Joe Tex died in Navasota, TX 1982.

Bill E. "Cousin Wilbur" Wesbrooks, age 73, died 1984.

Keith Whitley went to #1 with "Don't Close Your Eyes" 1988.

Brooks & Dunn's debut album "Brand New Man" released 1991.

Capitol Nashville released "The Deana Carter Collection" 2002.

The Everly Brothers released "A Night at the Royal Albert Hall" 2002.




 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Universal will sell songs with no limits
Largest music company's digital sales bypass Apple

By JOSEPH MENN
and DAWN C. CHMIELEWSKI
Los Angeles Times


Moving to blunt Apple Inc.'s growing power, the world's largest music company is bypassing the iPod maker to sell thousands of songs in an unrestricted digital format through many other online music stores.

Universal Music Group said Thursday that it would begin selling current and back albums ? from a collection of stars as diverse as 50 Cent, Maroon 5, Amy Winehouse and Johnny Cash ? without anti-piracy software that restricts their use.




Online retail partners include Best Buy Co., Wal-Mart Stores Inc. and Amazon.com Inc. ? but not Apple's iTunes.

A power struggle between Universal and Apple Chief Executive Steve Jobs accomplished what years of consumer complaints could not: persuading the top recording company to remove the digital handcuffs intended to prevent people from illegally sharing music.

"It seems like a boldfaced move to blunt Apple's influence," said Mike McGuire, vice president of research with Gartner Inc.

Universal called the effort a "test" to see how sales and piracy rates are affected when it sells songs in the MP3 format, which can be copied freely and played on any computer or mobile device.

The lack of software will make it easy to put copyrighted music on file-sharing networks, but doing so is still illegal. Universal said it hired a company to monitor piracy during the test period, Aug. 21 to Jan. 31.

Publicly, Universal said it excluded Apple so that iTunes could serve as a "control group" to make sales comparisons easier. Songs sold through iTunes are wrapped in digital-rights-management software that prevents them from being shared on more than a certain number of computers and played on devices other than Apple's iPod and iPhone.

Universal Music Chief Executive Doug Morris said in a statement that the test would "provide valuable insights into the implications of selling our music in an open format."

People familiar with Universal's strategy cited another strong motivation: to help Apple's competitors and reduce Jobs' clout with the music industry.

Apple is No. 3 seller

Cupertino, Calif.-based Apple's dominance in digital music sales ? Apple is now the No. 3 music retailer overall, according to NPD Group ? has given the company major leverage in negotiating pricing, availability and other issues with the major record labels.

Apple began selling music only four years ago, but with digital downloads replacing CDs for millions of people, Apple's supremacy in the online business has left it
trailing only Wal-Mart and Best Buy in overall music sales.

"That's far too much power for anyone to have, especially someone who has not seen things eye to eye with the music labels in the past," said James McQuivey, an
analyst with Forrester Research.

"So Universal, and I would expect others, have said, 'We need to get hands on this market. We need to stimulate growth in more than one place.' "

Apple declined to comment.

Universal to buy V2

In other news dealing with Universal Music:

? The record company said it will acquire V2 Music Group Ltd., an independent label owner founded by Richard Branson, to add artists such as Paul Weller and Stereophonics to its roster.

Terms of the purchase of London-based V2, which is subject to approval by the European Union, weren't disclosed, Santa Monica, Calif.-based Universal said Friday in a statement.

? Online video sharing site Veoh has pre-emptively sued Universal Music, asking a federal judge to prevent the giant music label from filing its own copyright infringement action.

Veoh Networks Inc., based in San Diego, filed the federal lawsuit Thursday, asking a judge to declare that the company has no liability to Universal even if individuals upload videos to the Veoh site that may contain music from Universal artists used without permission.



THE RADIO SHOWS ON WWW.TWANGTOWN.USA

THE RADIO SHOWS ON http:
WWW.TWANGTOWN.USA
HAS COME UP FOR THIS MONTH.
HOPE YOU WILL TUNE IN AND ENJOY ALL THE
MUSIC AND FUN.
HOUR # 3 IS "SUNDAY DOWN SOUTH" MY GOSPEL
SHOW AND HOUR # 11 IS MY COUNTRY SHOW.
I KNOW YOU'LL HEAR SOME MUSIC YOU ENJOY.
JUST GO TO www.twangtownusa.com AND THEN
CLICK ON THE HOUR.
THANK YOU FOR TUNING IN.
GOD BLESS
DON POWELL
 

 



**** Amy's Kitchen ****  


Low / No Fat:
  Apple Streusel Pie
from Jenny Craig


1 PIE FILLING
1 Pastry for single-crust 9-inch pie 
3/4 cup Equal? Spoonful
2 Tablespoons cornstarch
2 Tablespoons lemon juice 
3/4 tsp ground cinnamon 
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp ground nutmeg
6 cups peeled, cored, sliced Granny Smith apples
 

1 STREUSEL TOPPING 
1/2 cup all-purpose flour 
1/2 cup Equal? Spoonful 
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 
1/4 tsp salt
4 Tbl stick butter or margarine, melted 
1/2 cup chopped nuts
 
Directions For pie filling, roll pastry on floured
surface into circle 1 inch larger than 9-inch pie
plate. Ease pastry into plate; trim and flute edge.
Set aside. Combine 3/4 cup Equal?, cornstarch,
lemon juice, 3/4 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon
salt and nutmeg; sprinkle over apples in large bowl.
Toss to coat. Spoon apples into pie crust.
 
For Streusel topping, combine flour, 1/2 cup
Equal?, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and 1/4
teaspoon salt. Stir in melted butter until
mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in
nuts. Sprinkle over apples. Bake in preheated
375? oven 45 to 55 minutes or until apples are
tender and crust is golden. Cool on wire rack.
Serve warm or room temperature.
 
Nutrition Information Per Serving Calories 275
Carbohydrate 33g Protein 3g Fat 16g





**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

What world city attracts the most tourists?

Paris, France, is the world's most popular tourist destination. Over 80 million
foreigners visited France in 2004 and over 16 million of those foreigners visited Paris.

Paris and its surrounding suburbs, known as the Ile-de-France, boast a population
of roughly 10.5 million people. Just over two million of those live in Paris proper.
The three most popular tourist attractions are Disneyland Paris (12 million visitors
last year), the Eiffel Tower (5.5 million), and the Louvre (5 million).

The top five travel destinations (in order) are France, Spain, the United States, Italy,
and China. For American visitors, the top five destinations are Mexico, Canada, the
United Kingdom, France, and Germany.

Finally, the World Tourism Organization presents some cautiously optimistic statistics
for the first time in history, the number of travelers last year exceeded 750 million people.
While Europe remains in first place, Asia claimed the number two spot over the Americas.





****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Don't blame me, I voted for the other crook.


LAST CALL Y'ALL

A snail goes into a car dealership. She asks the salesman if they sell
red convertibles. The salesman answers,

"Yes, but do you have a proper license, and the money to pay for the
car?"

The snail replies,

"Yes, I've got both. The thing is, I'll only buy the car on one
condition--that you have a big S painted on the sides of the car."

The salesman thinks about the odd request for a moment. He finally
agrees, thinking, it's not every day that he sells an expensive
convertible. He'll make a nice commisssion, for sure.

A few week later, the car is all ready and the salesman calls the snail
to tell her she can come pick it up. The snail is really pleased with
her car and thanks the salesman. The salesman is still wondering about
the reason for the big S on the car and asks,

"So, tell me, why did you want an S painted on the sides of your car
anyway?"

The snail replies,

"When I drive by, I want everyone to say, 'Look at that S car go!' "


After Psycho was released, Hitchcock received an angry letter
from the father of a girl who refused to take a bath after seeing
Les Diaboliques.

Now she was refusing to take a shower after seeing Psycho.
Hitchcock sent her a note back simply saying, "Send her to the
dry cleaners."



HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
In God I trust. All others we polygraph
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
Don't take anything you see in the Funnies personally. 
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Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.
EVERYONE IS FAIR GAME
  

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AMERICA
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