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Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

WEDNESDAY AUGUST  15,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: I'm so depressed... My Dr. refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.....GOOFPROOF



One morning Carl jokingly announced to his family at breakfast, "Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee." His six- year-old daughter Melissa responded, "Okay, Daddy. And don't talk to me 'til I've had my milk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men bashing time again
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. Widow.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
~~~~~~~~~GOOFPROOF~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend and I were a few minutes late for the movies, so after we found our seats Dave went to get us some snacks. It was completely dark in the theatre when Dave returned and he had some difficulty finding our row. He finally sat down and whispered, "Did I miss anything?"
"Yes," a male voice answered. "Your row!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I?ve reached an age when I tend to repeat favorite family stories, unaware that I?ve told them before. Once, I was fondly recalling an incident when it occurred to me that this might be one of those times. "You know your father?s getting old," I apologized, "when he repeats a story he?s told you before."

Gallantly, my son replied, "You know your son?s getting old, Dad, when he doesn?t remember that he?s already heard it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband got out of bed and went into the living room to answer the phone. His wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?" and then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

The wife asked who it was.

The man said he didn't know.

A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

The wife asked again about the caller.

The man said he didn't know who it was.

The wife then asked, "Well, what did the person say?"

He said, "It's odd, a woman just keeps saying, 'Long distance from Chicago..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young boy is watching TV and sees an ad about "Male Enhancement".

He says: "Dad, what is Male Enhancement?

Dad pauses and replies, "That's when you add stamps to a letter."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know a guy who became a vegetarian because he couldn't make ends meat
~~~~~~
Clones are people two.
~~~~~~
Arrive alive, hang up & drive!
~~~~~~
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a
train smashed into a
car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down
the track. Though no
one was killed, the driver took the train company
to court. At the
trial, the engineer insisted that he had given
the driver ample warning
by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a
minute. He even stood
and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it.
The court believed his
story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to
the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly
under
cross-examination." "Thanks," he said, "but he
sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked. "I was afraid he
was going to ask if the
lantern was lit!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had taken a rare day off from work and, having shed the corporate uniform, was dressed scruffily, with my hair in rollers. Glancing out my window, I saw a van blocking my driveway. Incensed, I flew to the door and told the driver to move it immediately. About an hour later, all dressed up to go shopping, I was backing my car out of the driveway and noticed the driver standing on the sidewalk. A little embarrassed, I smiled and nodded hello. "Ma'am," he said to me. "I hope your grandmother is only visiting. She is one tough old cookie."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During a church social activity, I had to say a few words about myself. I mentioned that I was born in Philadelphia, that the first Scattergood had immigrated in the early 1700's and that I was a tenth-generation American. "I doubt anybody in this room can beat that," I boasted.

"I can!" came a voice from the back. Everyone turned around. It was my daughter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    An officer witnessed a car slow and cruise through a stop sign. The officer proceeded to pull the car over. The driver, very irate, asked why he was pulled over. The trooper calmly explained "Sir, you failed to come to a complete stop at the stop sign back there." "What does it matter," the driver yells, "I looked both ways and there was no-one around. I demand that you tell me why I should have to come to a complete stop." The trooper then reached into the vehicle and pulled the driver out. He started beating him over the head with his nightstick. After a few seconds, the trooper calmly asked the driver, "Tell me, would you like me to SLOW DOWN or COME TO A COMPLETE STOP?
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      Q. What is the longest word in the world?
      A. Smiles, it has a mile in the middle.

      Q. Why does Tigger always get dirty?
      A. Because Tigger plays with Winnie the Pooh.

      Q. What is the smallest state?
      A. Minni-sota!
      Q. What do you call a horse at night?
      A. A night-mare!
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
      A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

      Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
      A: A visitor.

      Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
      A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

      Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
      A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

      Q: Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
      A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

      Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
      A: She thought it was diet coke.

      Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
      A: They're too hard to peel.

      Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
      A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

      Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
      A: Proofreading.

      Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
      A: For throwing out the Ws.

      Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
      A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Remember these? For those who never saw the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930's and '40's. Before the Interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' Fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing line of a 4 line couplet...... and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream

      Here are some of the actual signs:

       DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
       TO GAIN A MINUTE
       YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
       YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT
       Burma Shave

       DROVE TOO LONG
       DRIVER SNOOZING
       WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
       IS NOT AMUSING
       Burma Shave
        
       BROTHER SPEEDER
       LET'S REHEARSE
       ALL TOGETHER
       GOOD MORNING, NURSE
       Burma Shave

       CAUTIOUS RIDER
       TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
       LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
       AND MORE STEER
       Burma Shave

       BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
       EYES ON THE ROAD
       THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
       DRIVER'S CODE
       Burma Shave

       THE ONE WHO DRIVES
       WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING
       DEPENDS ON YOU
       TO DO HIS THINKING
       Burma Shave

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca

SUBSCRIBE RessyPees-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

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**** Reader's Submissions ****

YEAH,I KNOW,IFEEL THE SAME WAY SOMETIMES

**** TODAYS LINKS ****

Strange New Products: Comfort Station - Luxury Porta-Potty
http://www.strangenewproducts.com/2005/08/comfort-station-luxury-porta-potty.html

50's QUOTES
http://odds.calspics.com/50sQuotes.html

FUN URLS
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/urls.html

Great Outdoors Photography
http://www.greatoutdoors.com:80/published/photography/

 

 This website presents data from the Sloan Digital Sky
Survey, a project to make a map of the entire universe.
We would like to show you the beauty of the universe,
and let you share our excitement as we build the largest
map in the history of the world.
http://skyserver.fnal.gov/en/

 

 Game Air Hockey

Play the popular air hockey game on your computer.

First to score 7 goals wins!
http://www.gamescraze.com/games/?g=airhockey.swf

**** ON THIS DAY ****

A BARREN TREE

My eyes search thru the windows
and the first thing that they see,
are flowing branches and falling leaves
of a now barren tree

This tree once hid our view
of houses that now surround,
when their branches were all full
and no leaves upon the ground

Once you would be able to listen
in the whispering of their leaves,
hear the birds as they were chirping
now nature has become their thieves

The once animals now unprotected
where have they gone to hide,
the birds can be seen
hovering the sky were they glide

Do we take our trees for granted
to shelter us from falling rain,
to protect us as shade
when the sun shines bright again

If you have a garden of flowers
you will notice its attraction to the bees,
think of what a dog would do
if they were to take away the trees

? abritelite

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American Heart Association web site on physical activity for women

and men. Features include health facts, practical tips, fitness news, a

personal trainer, user forums and event calendar.

-15-

Rose Maddox of "Maddox Brothers & Rose" born Boaz, AL 1925.

Rita Robbins recording artist, born Claxton, GA 1932.

Bobby Helms, Jingle Bell Rock/My Special Angel born Bloomington, IN 1933. Inducted Rockabilly Hall of Fame 2003.

Mike Seeger, of "The New Lost City Ramblers" born NYC 1933.

Don Rich, of "The Buckaroos" born Don Ulrich, Olympia, WA 1941.

Hank Williams' single "Jambalaya" charted 1952.

The Davis Sisters "I Forgot More Than You'll Ever Know" charted 1953.

Elvis Presley and his parents, signed a contract with Col. Tom Parker in 1955. The agreement named Parker, as an advisor to Elvis for a period of one year. From that day forward, Col. Tom Parker controlled Elvis Presley.

Marty Robbins released "Maybelline/This Broken Heart Of Mine" 1955.

Johnny Burnette's single "Dreamin'," charted 1960.

Capitol Records released Buck Owens' single "Open Up Your Heart" 1966.

Lawrence Walker, age 60, "bandleader," died 1968.

"A Time To Sing" with Hank Williams Jr., debuted in Nashville 1968.

Asa Martin, vocals/guitar, died in Kentucky 1979.

Floyd Ethridge died 1981.

Norman Petty died 1984.

Lewis Calvin DeWitt, age 52, "Statler Brothers," died 1990.

Alabama released their album "In Pictures" 1995.

Merle Haggard filed suit in California, accusing a hospital of performing an unnecessary operation on him 2003

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Fats Domino named American Music Legend

By STACEY PLAISANCE, Associated Press Writer

NEW ORLEANS - Reproductions of 20 of Fats Domino's gold records lost or destroyed during Hurricane Katrina were presented to the 79-year-old Rock and Roll Hall-of-Famer at a French Quarter nightclub Monday.

Domino was all smiles, saying repeatedly "thank you, thank you" to a crowd of about 100 friends and family. Also present were some of the city's most noted musicians, including Irma Thomas, Charmaine Neville and guitarist and singer Deacon John.

Among the gold-plated records Domino lost when Katrina flooded his 9th Ward home two summers ago were "Going to the River," "Blue Monday," "Valley of Tears," "Blueberry Hill," "Whole Lotta Loving" and "I Want to Walk You Home."

"It's Fats. He's deserving of it all," said Thomas, who also lost her home in the flooding that followed Katrina on August 29, 2005. "We all lost a lot, but he had more to lose. His career was a lot longer and a lot bigger than any of ours."

Domino also was recognized Monday by the Recording Industry Association of America with its "American Music Legend" award, making him only the second artist to receive the honor ? the first being Johnny Cash about a decade ago.

"It's not an annual award," said RIAA spokeswoman Laura Doud. "It's to award those elite artists whose imprint on American music is undeniable and invaluable."

It took months for historians to track down Domino's lost sales records, which span from 1950s "The Fat Man" to 1960s "Walking to New Orleans." Historians had to track down some original 78-RPM recordings, which were dripped in gold before being printed with Domino's name and album titles.

"Everything was replicated, down to the record labels and the framing," said Jennifer Ballantyne, a spokeswoman for Capitol/EMI, the recording label that helped with the project.

Cosimo Matassa, a recording engineer whose Rampart Street studio was where Domino recorded his first album, "The Fat Man," in December 1949, said Monday that he was touched so many in the music industry came forward to help Domino.

"It's a marvelous tribute and a great favor to him," said 81-year-old Matassa, who was 23 when he worked with Domino. "We were just making a living, and loving it. We had no idea all that would come from it."

Domino rode out Katrina in his Lower 9th Ward home, which flooded along with 80 percent of New Orleans when Katrina's storm surge broke levees. Part of his home is being rebuilt by the Tipitina's Foundation, which helped scores of musicians find housing and new instruments after the storm.

The foundation is rebuilding Domino's studio and publishing office, which is next to his house and includes a full kitchen and two-story entertainment room.

Besides resurrecting the studio, the foundation is planning to open a co-op office across the street from Domino's home to provide business development and job skills training for musicians and music students.

The foundation just wrapped work with Elton John, Tom Petty, Lenny Kravitz, Bonnie Raitt, Neil Young, Willie Nelson, Norah Jones and others who have recorded a tribute album of Domino's songs to benefit the foundation.

The album is due out next month.

Domino's house is surrounded by blocks of abandoned homes ? many untouched since Katrina. For more than a year, he has been living in a gated community full of newly constructed homes in the New Orleans suburb of Harvey.

___

On the Net:

The Tipitina's Foundation: http://www.tipitinasfoundation.org


           CMA Nominees Will Be Revealed Aug. 30  

Sara Evans, Taylor Swift and Montgomery Gentry will  
reveal the nominees for the CMA Awards on Aug. 30.  
Evans will announce select nominations live on Good  
Morning America around 8:30 a.m. ET. CMT Insider  
will announce the remaining nominations at 10 a.m.  
ET, with Swift, Montgomery Gentry and CMT hosts  
Lance Smith and Katie Cook. "The CMA Awards hold a  
special place in my heart," Evans said. "The first  
award I ever received was the CMA Award for the  
'Born to Fly' video and it is one of the most memor-  
able times of my career." 


**** Amy's Kitchen ****  

"BACON AND CHEESE PUFF"

Ingredients:

8 slices of bacon
2 med. onions sliced
12 slices white bread quartered
1/2 lb. Swiss cheese,shredded
8 eggs
4 cups milk
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
Tobasco or
prepared mustard,to taste

DIRECTIONS:

Cook bacon until crisp;
remove from pan,drain,crumble.

In bacon drippings cook the
onions until soft.

Arrange half of the bread slices
in a single layer in the bottom
of a greased pan or casserole.

Sprinkle with half of the
bacon crumbs,cheese and onions.

Repeat layer with the remaining
bread,bacon,onions,and cheese.

Combine remaining ingredients;
pour over top layer.
Bake in a 375 oven
until mixture is set
and top is puffed and golden,
about 50 minutes.

Vanilla Cream Puffs from a Taste of Home

1 cup water
1/2 cup butter
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
4 eggs
 
FILLING:
1-1/2 cups cold milk
1 package (5.1 ounces) instant vanilla pudding mix
1/2 to 1 teaspoon almond extract
2 cups heavy whipping cream, whipped
 
CHOCOLATE GLAZE:
6 tablespoons semisweet chocolate chips
1-1/2 teaspoons shortening
3/4 teaspoon corn syrup
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
 
In a large saucepan, bring water, butter and salt to a
boil. Add flour all at once and stir until a smooth ball
forms. Remove from the heat; let stand for 5 minutes.
Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each
addition. Continue beating until mixture is smooth
and shiny. Drop by 1/4 cupfuls 3 in. apart onto a
greased baking sheet. Bake at 400? for 30-35
minutes or until golden brown. Remove to a wire
rack. Immediately split puffs open; remove tops and
set aside. Discard soft dough inside. Cool puffs. In
a mixing bowl, beat the milk, pudding mix and extract
on low speed for 2 minutes. Let stand for 5 minutes.
Fold in whipped cream. Fill cream puffs; replace
tops. In a heavy saucepan, combine glaze ingredients.
Cook and stir over low heat until chocolate is melted
and mixture is smooth. Drizzle over cream puffs. Chill
for at least 1 hour before serving.

Refrigerate leftovers. Yield: 1 dozen


**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

      DID YOU KNOW?

      Moisture, not air, causes superglue to dry.
      Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight.
      Sarsaparilla is the root that flavors root beer.
      The U.S. Mint in Denver, Colorado is the only mint that marks its pennies.
      A full moon always rises at sunset.
      If you are locked in a completely sealed room, you will die of carbon dioxide poisoning first before you will die of oxygen deprivation.
      Moon was Buzz Aldrin's mother's maiden name. (Buzz Aldrin was the second man on the moon in 1969.)
      The only two Southern state capitals not occuppied by Northern troops during the American Civil War were Austin, Texas and Tallahasse, Florida.
      Rabbits love licorice.

      The Dodge brothers Horace and John were Jewish, that's why the first Dodge emblem had a star of David in it.
      Studebaker was the only major car company to stop making cars while making a profit from them.
      Studebaker still exists, but is now called Worthington.
      Chrysler built B-29's that bombed Japan, Mitsubishi built Zeros that tried to shoot them down. Both companies now build cars in a joint plant call Diamond Star.
      On the new hundred dollar bill the time on the clock tower of Independence Hall is 4:10.
      The top three cork-producing countries are Spain, Portugal and
      Algeria. (Cork comes from trees.)
      In the Wizard of Oz Dorothy's last name is Gail. It is shown on the mail box.
      If you bring a raccoon's head to the Henniker, New Hampshire town hall, you are entitled to receive $.10 from the town New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and the late M*A*S*H star McLean Stevenson were both once assistant football coaches at Northwestern University.
      The letter W is the only letter in the alphabet that doesn't have 1 syllable... it has three.



What does a gallbladder do? Why is it OK to take it out?

The gallbladder is a small sac underneath your liver that stores and secretes bile, a digestive fluid that breaks down fats. Gallstones form when the chemical compounds in bile become unbalanced -- no one's sure exactly why this happens, but a fatty diet often exacerbates the problem. Roughly 20 million Americans suffer from gallstones, and 750,000 of them have their gallbladders removed.

One procedure for removing a gallbladder, called a laparoscopic cholecystectomy, is a relatively straightforward affair. As gallbladder expert Dr. Mark Fusco explains, a tiny camera (laparoscope) is used to avoid large incisions. He also suggests that his patients "thoroughly cleanse" their umbilicus (belly button) prior to surgery.

Since bile is actually produced by the liver, it's possible to survive without a gallbladder, but not without unpleasant digestive tract complications. Some patients suffer from dumping syndrome, in which food is "dumped" too quickly into the intestines from the stomach.

The gallbladder is like a pump. Dr. Cynthia Foster observes that without it, the liver can't secrete enough bile to properly digest a full meal and recommends herbal supplements. Many people without gallbladders have to control their diet and eat small snacks throughout the day, rather than large meals. Bile- challenged eaters should also avoid fatty foods.

****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Remember if people talk behind your back, it only means you're two steps ahead!

LAST CALL Y'ALL
Duh
Our mom needed a new mattress for her antique bed, so my brother, Jason, and I decided to buy her one as a gift. The problem was we weren't sure what to get, because it was an odd size. Fortunately, my brother happened to be visiting my mother one day when I called home. "Measure the bed frame before you leave," I told him. "I don't have a tape measure." "You can use a dollar bill," I suggested. "Each one is six inches long."

"Can't," he replied after digging through his wallet. "I only have a ten."

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
In God I trust. All others we polygraph
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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