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Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

MONDAY  SEPTEMBER 10,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: A conclusion is simply the place you happen
to bewhen you got tired of thinking

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
~

Why won't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?
They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
~

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it in the afternoon.
~

What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team?
They drowned in Spring Training.
~
Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
~

How did the blonde die drinking milk?
The cow stepped on her.
~
How did the blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for French fries.
~

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted flakes.
~
Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
She missed.
~
What is it when a blonde blows into another blondes ear?
Data transfer.
~

Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.
~
Why did the blonde put make-up on her forehead?
She wanted everyone to know that she was able to make up her mind.
~
Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
She needed them for the darkroom she was building.
~

Why are the Japanese so smart?
No blondes.
~
Why are the Japanese so unhappy?
No blondes
~
What is the biggest advantage to marrying a blonde?
You get to park in the Handicapped Zone.
~

Why do blondes have more fun?
They are easier to amuse.
~~~~~~~BLONDIE AKA Karen~~~~~~~~
A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival
meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a
small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage.

Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy
Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release
the dove.

At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher
called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again raised his arms and
exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove.

The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from
the
rafters:

"Sir, a yellow cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the
yellow cat?"
This big dude walks into a bar with a little spider on his shoulder. As
soon as one of the dudes in there spots it, he tells his friends and
they all laugh. The man says: "Laugh while you can, 'cos this spider is
stronger than any of you!!!" The man making fun repies, "I'd like to see
that!!" "Fine, my spider will pick up this bar stool." He sets the
spider on the floor and the spider easily picks it up. "That's
nothing!!" "But there's more, now the spider will pick up a table." And
the spider easily picks up the table. The men, not letting the spider
impress them, only boo it. "Now gentlemen, this tiny spider will pick up
the bar!!" And the spider spits on his hands, rubs them together and
makes a great effort, but it picks up the bar!!! The men, a little
impressed ask, "What else can it do??" So the man says, "Now, it will
pick up the bar with everyone of us on it!!" Thinking it couldn't be
done, the men start to get on the bar until there's like 40 guys on it.
The spider looks worried but starts walking towards the bar with an air
of determination. Suddenly, a woman walks into the bar, sees the spider
on the floor walking towards the bar, and steps on it. "You bunch of
sissies, scared of a little spider!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Des Moines, Iowa, convenience store clerk Harpal Singh called the police
to tell them he had just been robbed. "He's about 5 feet 10," Singh told
the emergency operator over the phone, just as the robber stepped back
into the store.

"I'm 6_2," the robber said. "About 6_2," Singh told the operator, "and
about 38 years old." The robber

again interrupted, "I'm 34," and asked for his wallet back that he had
dropped during the robbery.

By the time the robber ran out the door again, police had arrived.
Steven Hebron, 34, was arrested and charged with robbery.

"I.Q. around 80," Singh said. "Barely 70," the robber corrected.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I. Q. bout 70
As team leader of the Police Tactics & Rescue Unit, I directed officers
late one night to strategic positions around a building where a
dangerous suspect was hiding. Believing the culprit to be on the roof, I
decided to have an officer shine his flashlight in that direction on my
command. At just the right moment, I whispered to him, "Okay, throw a
light on the roof."

The officer hurled his flashlight to the top of the building.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Office Pranks
~Go into MS Word or similar program on co-worker's computer,
and add an entry to the AutoCorrect feature. This is a very simple
prank that will send the novice user into a frenzy. Configure the
AutoCorrect option to replace the word "the" with the phrase "you
suck!" They will usually panic and start scanning for viruses.

~Take clear tape and tape the underside of the mouse. Make sure
you take the sticky end of the tape and apply it to the bottom of
the mouse so it locks the ball in place. The victim will most likely
check the connections in the back, reinstall drivers, reboot, etc.,
before they realize what has happened.

~Another gem is to do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and
then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save
the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as
the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status
bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide
conspicuously in the corner or something.) The user will see their
desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when
they try to click on it...sending them into a rebooting and virus
scanning
fit!

~This will mostly only work with people with very little PC knowledge.
Stick in a floppy in their floppy drive. They will be unable to boot
up windows until the disk is out. This is fun to watch.

~Try to find a very obnoxious CD laying around. Preferably a reggae
or rap CD. Pop it in their CD ROM. Put up the sound full blast by double
clicking on the volume control on the bottom right. On normal
configurations the audio CD will auto play when windows first starts up.
The person starting up there PC in the morning will definitely be
embarrassed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two intrepid explorers met in the heart of the
Brazilian jungle.

"I'm here," declared one, "to commune with nature
in the raw, to contemplate the eternal verities
and to widen my horizons. And you, sir?"

"I," sighed the second explorer, "came because my
young daughter has begun violin lessons."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The new preacher, at this first service, had a pitcher
of water and a glass on the pulpit. As he preached,he
drank until the pitcher of water was completely gone.

After the service, someone asked an old woman of the church,
"How did you like the new pastor?"

"Fine," she said, "but he's first windmill I ever saw
that was run by water."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Definitions To Learn

TRAFFIC LIGHT -- apparatus that automatically turns red
when your car approaches.

DIVORCE -- postgraduate in School of Love.

PIONEER -- early American who was lucky enough to find his
way out of the woods.

PEOPLE -- some make things happen, some watch things happen,
and the majority has no idea what's happened.

SWIMMING POOL -- a mob of people with water in it.

SELF-CONTROL -- the ability to eat only one peanut.

SALESMAN -- man with ability to convince wife she'd look
fat in mink.

CANNIBAL -- person who likes to see other people stewed.

EGOCENTRIC -- a person who believes he is everything you
know you are.

FOREIGN FILM -- any movie shown in Texas theater that
isn't a western.

OPTIMIST -- girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

MAGAZINE -- bunch of printed pages that tell you what's
coming in the next issue.

COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted
access to the telephone.

EMERGENCY NUMBERS: Police station, fire department and
places that deliver.

OPERA: When a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead
of bleeding he sings.

BUFFET: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself."

BABY-SITTER: A teen-ager who must behave like an adult
so that the adults who are out can behave like teen-agers.

TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OLDIE BUT JUST
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the
"accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful
rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards
him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
and saw that the bear was closing. He ran even faster, so scared that
tears were coming to his eyes.

He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His
heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He
tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
saw the bear, right on top of him: reaching for him with his left paw
and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The
bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky: "You
deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist;
and, even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help
you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light: "It would be hypocritical of
me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could
you make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," the voice said.

The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest
resumed.

And then the bear dropped its right paw ........ brought both paws
together... bowed its head and spoke:

"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for
vacation, so I called the airlines to get prices. "Airfare to Denver is
$300," said a cheery salesperson. "And what about Salt Lake City?" "We
have a really great rate to Salt Lake--$99.00, but there is a stopover."
"Where?" "In Denver."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kiss'n'drive lane opens at hospital in Norway

TRONDHEIM, Norway (AFP) - A hospital in the northern Norwegian town of
Trondheim opened a special "kiss'n'drive" lane for employees after
tiring of
the traffic jams caused by their spouses dropping them off for work.
     To clearly indicate that the lane is for them, pink hearts are
painted
on the asphalt.
     The lane ends some 400 meters (yards) from St. Olav Hospital's
front
doors, freeing up that area for ambulances and visitors arriving with
patients needing emergency care, hospital officials told AFP on Monday.
     The walkway from the end of the lane to the front oors is also
marked
with pink hearts.
     The hospital has also issued a brochure entitled "Kiss'n'drive" to
promote its idea, featuring the slogan "A kiss is a good way to start
the
day" and a pencilled drawing of a couple kissing in a car.
     Some 700 cars arrive at the hospital every weekday to either pick
up or
drop off a spouse employed there, the hospital said. Employees who used
the
special lane on the inaugural day were rewarded with candy upon their
arrival.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were
clear: no car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the
windshield.

A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry
said, "Halt, who goes there?"

The corporal, who was driving, said, "General Wheeler."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You have to have a sticker on the
windshield."

The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry replied, "Hold it! You really
can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without
a sticker."

The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry
walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I
shoot you or your driver?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Been around forever but still good for a smile rerun.

A mechanic who worked out of his home had a
dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of 
eating all the grass in the mechanic's lawn, so
the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The
grass eventually became overgrown.
One day the mechanic was working on a car in
his backyard and dropped his wrench losing it in
the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him
so he decided to call it a day.
That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate
all the grass in the backyard.  The next morning, the
mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting
in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened, he
looked up to the heavens and sang out loudly, proclaiming...
(are you ready for this?)
"A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound that saved a
wrench for me!"
 

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**** Reader's Submissions ****

Dear Jim-

 

I really enjoy the funnies.  They make my day most of the time and are good clean fun in a messed up world.  Sorry that you're not doing well.  Just wanted to send my best wishes to you for a speedy recovery.

 

Monte in Tennessee

 

Hi Jim!

Hoping you are feeling better. You are in my prayers. Thanks for the good jokes I receive each day. I use them quite often from the pulpit. Not all of them! LOL

 

Have a blessed day!

 

The Reverend Thomas McCallister

Retired United Methodist Minister

Winona, Mississippi 38967

Thanks guys for the kind words;Iam feeling better.It was just another speed bump in the road of life.BUT IT'S FRIENDS LIKE YOUWho make the effort worth it.Thank you so much.
Looking forward to hearing from y'all
Jim

**** TODAYS LINKS ****

Do Dogs Go To Heaven
http://wtv-zone.com/nywoman/PAGES/page13.html

The Blessed Test

http://www.nethugs.com/blessedtest.shtml

 

Do You Know

http://www.nethugs.com/didyouknow.shtml

 

 Someday With Jesus

http://www.my-tgif.com/somedayjesus.htm

 

At the Foot of Calvary

http://www.my-tgif.com/footofcalvary.htm

Vegetarian Guide: Medicinal Foods

http://michaelbluejay.com/veg/foodpower.html

 

Water Spray Video

http://www.buffalosjokes.com/032915.htm

 

Snopes Updates

 http://www.snopes.com/info/updates/current.htm

 

Weather Safety

http://www.nws.noaa.gov/safety.php

 

New born Moose

http://www.wtv-zone.com/mousecard/BabyMoose2.html

 

 Game Pegz

A new variation of the classic Chinese Checkers game.

http://www.gamescraze.com/games/?g=pegz.swf

**** ON THIS DAY ****

-9-

Roger Dale Tubb, son of Ernest Tubb, killed in a car wreck 1938.

Joe Clay born "Claiborne Joseph Cheramie," Harvey, LA 1938.

Wilton Frederick "Freddy" Weller, born Atlanta, GA 1947.

Tom Wopat born 1951.

Elvis Presley recorded "Good Rockin' Tonight/I Don't Care If The Sun Don't Shine" at Sun Records in Memphis 1954. Sam Phillips auditioned Johnny Cash later that same day.

Elvis Presley's first appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show 1956.

Tex Owens, age 70, singer/songwriter, died 1962.

Buck Owens and the Buckaroos played at the White House for President Johnson 1968.

The Johnny Cash biography "Winners Got Scars Too" by Christopher Wren released 1971.

Conway & Loretta's duet "Feelins'," went to # 1 in 1975.

The Johnny Cash Show toured Europe from the 9^{th through the 25th in 1975.}

George Strait's "One Fire I Can't Put Out" topped the charts 1983.

Tracy Byrd married wife Michelle, in 1991.

Bill Monroe, age 84, "The Father of Bluegrass," died as a result of a stroke 1996. Inducted CMHF 1970, NSHF 1971, IBMA Hall of Honor 1991.

The 2002 CCMA Awards were presented in Calgary. Anne Murray was inducted into the CCMAHF. Fans Choice Award: Terri Clark; Female Artist: Carolyn Dawn Johnson; Male Artist: Paul Brant.

Terri Clark made her debut appearance on Good Morning America, singing "Girls Lie Too" 2004.

Ernie Ball, age 74, manufacturer of guitars and strings, died in California 2004.

-10-

Alonzo Elvis "Tony" Alderman, "The Hill Billies," born River Hill, VA 1900.

Luke Wills, Western Swing bandleader/singer/multi-instrumentalist, born Hall County, TX 1920. Younger brother of Bob Wills.

Tommy Overstreet born Oklahoma City, OK 1937.

Ernest Tubbs' "Soldier's Last Letter" topped the charts 1944.

Jim Reeves quit the Louisiana Hayride in 1955, and joined the Grand Ole Opry in October.

Justin Tubb, age 20, became the youngest ever member of the Grand Ole Opry 1955.

Marty Robbins released "Maybelline," 1955.

The Louvin Brother's "When I Stopped Dreaming," charted 1955.

Rosie Flores, Rockabilly singer/guitarist, born San Antonio, TX 1956.

Cowboy Copas' "Alabam" went to # 1 in 1960.

Joe Callahan, age 61, of "The Callahan Brothers," died 1971.

Ronnie Milsap went to # 1 with "I'm A Stand By My Woman Man" 1976.

Ricky Skaggs released his "Highways and Heartaches," album 1982.

Carl Tipton died in 1989.

Garth Brooks released "Ropin' The Wind," 1991.

Mac Davis was honored in Hollywood, with a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame 1998.

Chris Cagle and schoolteacher Elizabeth Filer were married in Houston, TX 2001.

Bill Anderson released his album "Five Star Collection" 2002.

Universal released "The Best of Dave Dudley" 2002.

Jamie O'Neal, LeAnn Rimes, and Michael Peterson performed at the Gstadd Music Festival in Switzerland 2004.

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

23 years! It seems like such a short time ago when Ernest Tubb passed from life to eternal life.

23 years! Where has it gone? It seems like such a short time ago when Ernest Tubb passed from life to eternal life. There has and will always be a void in my life since he left this earth at a young age of 70. His career spanned more than five decades, a pillar of the Grand Ole Opry and trailblazer that brought his famous "honky tonk" sound to the Opry and stages around the world and established Nashville as a recording center.

Today I ran across a photograph made in 1951 in Korea with his good friend, Hank Snow. They went over (at their own expense) to entertain our soldiers serving during that conflict. I recall in many different interviews that he was a bit reluctant to talk about that tour, though he said that was one of the highlights of his career. He spent weeks and a lot of his money when he returned back to the USA, phoning many parents all over the country telling them of his meeting with their son and giving them whatever message they had ask him to carry back. This is only one of the many kind acts of caring and compassion this great man did for literally thousands of people. He gave so much of himself. He always put others first, took care of his family, friends, band members and many other musicians, artists, songwriters, getting artists recording contracts and membership in the Grand Ole Opry and even the homeless that called lower Broadway home. I remember many times he would walk down to Linebaugh's, the famous 24 hour "meat and 3" that was a fixture and part of this historical street and the music business for more than 50 years. He would give Mr. George some money to feed the many that had gathered around the record shop knowing he would be walking down from the Ryman after his performance on the second show to do his Midnite Jamboree that has just celebrated 60 years of consecutive broadcasting over the airwaves of WSM and heard in 38 states and Canada.

Today, as I remember, I have to thank God for a "divine appointment" He gave to me when he sent Ernest Tub into my life. My 16 years of working for him will always be one of the highlights of my life. Never have I known a man of such caring and compassion for others. I'll forever be grateful to my Savior and Lord for all these years. Though he has been gone 23 years, his spirit remains alive and well and a lot of that is because of a wonderful group of people from Nashville to Pigeon Forge and Ft.Worth, Texas who give of themselves every day to preserve and continue his legacy. I'm grateful to all of these wonderful folks, more than 50 of them who give of themselves every week and do a wonderful job of maintaining standards of excellence that you don't find a lot of anymore. Mr. Tubb treated his fans with all the respect and dignity that has made him a legend with country music fans around the world. Today, the Ernest Tubb Record Shop, Texas Troubadour Theatre and Midnite Jamboree family strive hard to honor and maintain what he would have expected of anyone who worked for and with him. Let me say a special "Thanks A Lot" to every single one of them. Without them, the country music fan wouldn't still be hearing Ernest Tubb played on radio and remembered with such honor that he so richly deserves.

As I think back to 23 years ago today, I vividly recall a sweet peaceful and gentle way he seemed to slip away. The last two years of his life had been a struggle. Breathing was difficult and became labored toward the end, but some how, some way, I felt an awesome presence fill his room and the sweet peace the only Jesus can give became his. I was so grateful he died with such peace and dignity, much like the way he lived his life.

For some reason, God has laid it on my heart today to urge those of you I know who are smokers to think about the consequences of the harm this could cause you. If he were here, he would, out of genuine caring and concern, remind you of his own experiences and urge you to make an effort to give it up as he did in 1965. Personally, I have no authority to point a finger at anyone. I've had and have things in my own life that could stand some improvement. I'm just following what God has laid heavy on my heart today. Today, I stood at his earthly body's final resting place to watch the sun rise. I'm burdened down today for so many people. God has just laid it on my heart. I'm not sure what is going on in your life right now, but I wrote down a lot of names today in a journal and lift you up to God to meet whatever needs you have. I pray that God will richly bless you in a special way and that you will feel His abundance of Love, Peace, Comfort and Healing for whatever needs you have, and we all have needs but Jesus went to the Cross to bear them for us! That's the good thing!!! Today, I celebrate the life of Ernest Tubb. In his own way, he pointed many people to the Lord. I'm so grateful for him and for you. There will always be an "empty chair" at the "Ernest Tubb Table" but only for a short while. We will all be home before we know it. Time is passing by swiftly and compared to eternity, we're here but for a short while. I pray God's blessings and his abundant love and joy to fill you up and overflowing! Let's be good to one another, love one another, take care of one another. That's what Ernest Tubb spent his life doing, and what a wonderful and rich legacy he has left. I pray that it continues, long after I'm gone. If it hadn't have been for him, I would not have gotten to know so many of you. I'm grateful and count my blessings for you being a part of my life.

The Ernest Tubb story is one that has effected thousands of people and it will continue to do so for many decades to come. Thank you all for being in my life. I have been richly blessed and as E.T. would say....."be better to your neighbors and you're gonna have better neighbors.....dog gone ya!"

Blessings on you,
DM

 
Court filing asks Evans to admit to up to 11 affairs
Chesney among those named by singer's husband

By RACHEL STULTS
Staff Writer


A 118-page court document filed this week asks country star Sara Evans to answer questions ranging from what medications she's taking to the details of allegations of nearly a dozen extramarital affairs.

The document, filed in Williamson County chancery court Tuesday by attorneys for Evans' husband Craig Schelske, asks Evans to admit to having had affairs or romantic relationships with upwards of 11 people, including other artists, such as her band members, members of the band 3 Doors Down, Kenny Chesney, Richard Marx and Tony Dovolani, her former Dancing With The Stars partner.


The questions are included in interrogatories, which are documents used to obtain information from opposing parties during legal proceedings. Evans has not yet responded to the questions, and the court filings provide no evidence that Evans actually had relationships with any of the named people.

John Hollins Sr., Evans' attorney, said he could not comment because of a court-issued gag order. Evans' publicist did not return calls. Schelske's attorney, who is also bound by the gag order, did not return a call seeking comment.

A publicist for Chesney and a former manager for Marx declined to comment. Calls left for Universal/Republic, the record label of 3 Doors Down, were not immediately returned.

The document asks Evans to state under oath and penalty of perjury whether or not she admits to "an affair/sexual relationship/romantic in volve ment" with Chesney, Marx, Dovolani, any member of her band, or Brad Arnold, Matt Roberts, Todd Harrell, Chris Henderson (members of the band 3 Doors Down).

It also asks Evans to:

• "Discuss in detail the romantic communication between you and Chesney. Include in your answer whether he sent flowers; expressed emotions of love and/or physical attraction; and whether the two of you communicated by cell phone or calls to your home, all unknown to your husband continuing to present."

• "List and/or describe each text message you sent and received to or from Dovolani including, but not limited to the 'I love you,' 'good morning darling,' which Schelske viewed the night before you filed for divorce and terminated Allison Clinton Lee."

Evans filed for divorce Oct. 12, 2006, the day after a blow-up between the couple in a Los Angeles restaurant, after which police were called to the scene. In previous court filings, Schelske alleged that he had learned of his wife's "intimate relationship" during the dinner, which had led to an argument.

The interrogatory also requests that Evans provide all records and communications between herself and a plethora of friends and colleagues, including country stars Martina McBride and Chely Wright and Dancing With The Stars co-stars Mario Lopez, Willa Ford and Joey Lawrence.

Evans has previously alleged that there are nude photos of Schelske having sex with other women. The interrogatory asks Evans to admit, among other things, that the people in some of the nude photos cannot be identified and that she and Schelske, during their marriage, took nude photos of one another in the privacy of their bedroom.

Court documents do not state by when Evans and her attorneys must respond. A hearing in the case is set for Sept. 28 in Hickman County.



**** Amy's Kitchen ****  

Low / No Fat:

 Dried Cherry and Almond Scones 1 egg

1 egg white
1/3 cup canola oil
1 cup SPLENDA® No Calorie Sweetener, Granulated
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1/3 cup nonfat dry milk
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup dried cherries, coarsely chopped
2 tablespoons sugar (optional)

1.Preheat oven to 350 degree F. Spray a cookie sheet
   or jellyroll pan with baking spray and set aside.
2. Mix the egg and egg white together in a large mixing bowl.
   Add canola oil, SPLENDA® Granulated, buttermilk, almond
   extract and nonfat dry milk. Stir well. Add baking powder,
   baking soda and flour. Mix until just blended. Add dried
  cherries and stir until blended.
3. Spoon 12 evenly sized mounds of batter onto the prepared
    baking sheet. Lightly sprinkle with sugar, if using.
4, Bake in a preheated 350 degree F oven for 10-15 minutes.

Serves: 12
Submitted by: Makers of SPLENDA® Sweetener Products
Nutrition Info (per serving)
Calories 210 | Calories from Fat 70 | Protein 5g |
Fat 7g (sat 1g) | Carbohydrate 31g | Fiber 1g |
Cholesterol 20mg | Sodium 130mg | Sugar 15g

 

 Pecan Ball with Fudge Sauce from Dessert Du Jour
3  cups vanilla ice cream (1-1/2 pints)
1  cup chopped pecans, toasted and cooled
1  cup semisweet chocolate pieces
2  tablespoons unsalted butter
2/3  cup whipping cream
2/3  cup light-colored corn syrup
1  tablespoon creme de cacao
1/2  teaspoon vanilla
4   pecan halves

For ice cream balls: Scoop ice cream into 4 balls (3/4 cup each); place
in a small baking pan. Freeze about 1 hour or until firm. Place toasted
pecans in a pie plate. Roll each frozen ice cream ball in the pecans.
Return coated ice cream balls to pan and freeze about 1 hour more or
until firm. 

For sauce: In a small heavy saucepan, combine chocolate and butter. Cook
and stir over very low heat just until melted. Stir in whipping cream
and corn syrup. Cook and stir over medium-low heat about 3 minutes or
just until the mixture boils around edges. Remove from heat. Stir in the
creme de cacao and vanilla. Cover and cool to room temperature. 

To serve, place ice cream balls in four chilled dessert dishes. Spoon
some of the sauce over each ice cream ball. If you like, garnish each
serving with a pecan half. Makes 4 servings. 
(nutritional info not available)

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

What kinds of trees are used to make telephone poles?

Very tall, straight ones without any branches? Actually, after trudging through a forest of links, we discovered that a number of different trees are used to make telephone poles.

According to the web site of one phone company, the most common type of tree used is the chestnut. Chestnut trees are fairly common and can grow up to 100 feet. Their wood is strong, easy to work with, and rot-resistant, making them the ideal material for telecommunication poles.

And at a woodworking web site, we learned that several types of pine trees are used as well.

If you're interested in identifying the wood of a particular pole, look for a two-letter code that is either burned into the pole or noted on a metal plate. This identifies the type of tree that gave its life in the interests of clearer communication. Check out the links in our Tree category for more.



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