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Subject: The Daily Funnies - September11, 2007



 
 



From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.

GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS

Welcome to T
he Funnies
est.7-4-2000

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These  are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for  younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair almost anything.


Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all

Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help Them

Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.



TUESDAY  SEPTEMBER 11,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Just so ya don't forget
This is what it was like

Welcome, Kick back and relax, have another cuppa and enjoy THE DAILY FUNNIES

9/11/01
THE DAILY FUNNIES ARE CANCELLED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

Cherish those close to you. Love your friends more than yourself.
Thank God you're who you are, pray for guidance in this strange world  ...............Jim        THIS APPEARED ON 9/11/01
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Special Edition     THIS APPEARED ON 9/16/01

Welcome, Kick back and relax, have another cuppa and enjoy THE DAILY FUNNIES
GOOD MORNING ALL SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 16, 2001

Anyone without a sense of humor is at the
mercy of the rest of us.
Heaven Help Them
"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
Dear Friends,
Tomorrow will be the first regular edition of the Funnies since the terrorist war against America began. It is with very mixed emotions that I return to the daily task of trying to brighten your days. It doesn't seem right to laugh and joke as rescue, recovery, and clean up efforts continue, but at the same time I realize life goes on.
We have an important job ahead of us. Let us love our friends and neighbors, pray to God for guidance, and be prepared to support our government and way of life. Never forget, Stand Tall, For We Are Americans, One and All.
JIM 

A Wonderful Story

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in.

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?" Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went o! ut and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"

MY WISH FOR YOU...

-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
-Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it.
-Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength.
-Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.

You have two choices right now:
1. Click this off
2. Invite love by sharing this story with all the people you care about. I hope you will choose #2. I did
Just Click Here.


 
Peace to you my friend ----Thanks Valerie
.
.
.


The Price Of A Miracle
Tess was a precocious eight year old when she heard her Mom and Dad talking about her little brother, Andrew. All she knew was that he was very sick and they were completely out of money. They were moving to an apartment complex next month because Daddy didn't have the money for the doctor's bills and our house. Only a very costly surgery could save him now and it was looking like there was no-one to loan them the money.

She heard Daddy say to her tearful Mother with whispered desperation, "Only a miracle can save him now."

Tess went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet. She poured all the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped! out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but he was too busy at this moment.

Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

"And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages, "he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

"Well, I want to talk to you about my brother," Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. "He's really, really sick...and I want to buy a miracle."

"I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist.

"His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save ! him now. So how much does a miracle cost?"

"We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you,"the pharmacist said, softening a little.

"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me how much it costs."

The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does you brother need?" "I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up. "I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money."

"How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago. "One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly. "And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to."

"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and seven cents - the exact price of a miracle for little brothers." He took her money in one hand and with the oth! er hand he grasped her mitten and said "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the kind of miracle you need."

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed without charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place. "That surgery," her Mom whispered, "was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?"

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost ...one dollar and eleven cents...plus the faith of a little child.

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law. Thanks again Valerie


.
.
.
TRIBUTE TO THE UNITED STATES
This, from a Canadian newspaper, is worth sharing.
America: The Good Neighbor.
Widespread but only partial news coverage was given recently
to a remarkable editorial broadcast from Toronto by Gordon
Sinclair, a Canadian television Commentator. What follows is
the full text of his trenchant remarks as printed in the
Congressional Record:
"This Canadian thinks it is time to speak up for the
Americans as the most generous and possibly the least
appreciated people on all the earth. Germany, Japan and, to
a lesser extent, Britain and Italy were lifted out of the
debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of
dollars and forgave other billions in debts. None of these
countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining
debts to the United States.
When France was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the
Americans who propped it up, and their reward was to be
insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there.
I saw it.
When earthquakes hit distant cities, it is the United States
that hurries in to help. This spring, 59 American
communities were flattened by tornadoes.
Nobody helped. The Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy
pumped billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now
newspapers in those countries are writing about the
decadent, warmongering Americans. I'd like to see just one
of those countries that is gloating over the erosion of the
United States dollar build its own airplane. Does any other
country in the world have a plane to equal the Boeing Jumbo
Jet, the Lockheed
Tri-Star, or the Douglas DC10? If so, why don't they fly
them? Why do all the International lines except Russia fly
American Planes?
Why does no other land on earth even consider putting a man
or woman on the moon? You talk about Japanese technocracy,
and you get radios You talk about German technocracy, and
you get automobiles. You talk about American technocracy,
and you find men on the moon -not once, but several times -
and safely home again.
You talk about scandals, and the Americans put theirs right
in the store window for everybody to look at. Even their
draft-dodgers are not pursued and hounded. They are here on
our streets, and most of them, unless they are breaking
Canadian laws, are getting American dollars from ma and pa
at home to spend here.
When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking
down through age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them.
When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went
broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose. Both are still broke.
I can name you 5000 times when the Americans raced to the
help of other people in trouble. Can you name me even one
time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble? I
don't think there was outside help even during the San
Francisco earthquake. Our neighbors have faced it alone, and
I'm one Canadian who is damned tired of hearing them get
kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their
flag high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb
their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present
troubles.
I hope Canada is not one of those." Stand proud, America!
Wear it proudly!! - Many thanks to the Jokeman


9-11

When I remember the attack my eyes water.
I wonder what evil people would do such a slaughter.

My eyes would brim with many a tear,
But yet I had nothing in me that resembled fear.

The evil ones who did this evil fight,
I wonder can they sleep at night?

They must wonder at each sound.
Is that an incoming round?

Our many martyrs and heroes we must remember,
Especially this day the eleventh of September.

I know justice, liberty and freedom will prevail,
And that the enemy will wind up dead or in jail.

My friends, my comrades to this day I dedicate,
Love, peace and please focus our hate.

For God alone will allow judgement to be done,
But by God we can assure justice is met to each evil one.

B.J Cassady
Guthrie, Oklahoma
A citizen in the war against evil 

"Hey, Bob! You say you're a songwriter?" Andy said.
"I sure am. Why, I've written songs for Michael Jackson, Faith Hill,
Ricky Martin, Britney Spears, and Madonna." Bob said, modestly.
"Wow! Have all those stars sung your songs?"
"Well, actually, I didn't say they sang any of them. I just said I
wrote songs for them."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John was visiting a friend in the hospital. He had recently quit
smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator.
A woman on the elevator said to him with a snarl, "Sir! There's no
smoking in here!"
'I'm not smoking lady." replied John.
"But you have a cigar in your mouth!" the woman said.
"Lady," John answered, "I've got on Jockey shorts, too, but I'm not
riding a horse!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOLDING OUT
Last week we purchased a new computer.We ran into some
difficulties while setting it up so we called the customer support
phone number we found in the manual.
I picked up the phone and called the number. A man answered
the phone and I explained the problem to him. He began rattling
off computer jargon. This confused us even more. "Sir," I said
politely, "Can you explain what I should do as if I were a small child?"
"Okay," the computer support guy said, "Son, could you please put
your mommy on the phone?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Signs You're Not Computer Literate:

1) You've backed-up your desktop by pushing it against the wall.

2) You've put foam around the computer to prevent it from crashing.

3) Your boots are worn out from re-booting your computer.

4) You try to clear the screen by shaking the monitor up and down.

5) You're Amish.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are an Internet Addict when...

1.) You can't call your mom... She doesn't have a modem.

2.) You step out of your room only to find that your parents have
moved and you have no idea when it happened.

3.) Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.

4.) Your nightmares are in HTML and JPGS.

5.) You turn off your modem and your heart gets that heavy
feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

6.) You start introducing yourself as "Sam at net dot com"

7.) Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you
see a new WWW site address on TV.

8.) You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so
you can hear if new messages arrives.

9.) Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you
of what she looks like.

10.) All of your friends have an @ i! n their names.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OH, TO BE JEWISH!

The Italian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must
have wine."
The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must
have tequila."
The Scot says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must
have Scotch."
The Swede says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must
have aquavit."
The Japanese says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must
have sake."
The Russian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must
have vodka."
The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must
have beer."
The Greek says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must
have ouzo."
The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have
diabetes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doc Taz
When a man met his friend on the street one day,
he noticed
that he had a terrible cold. He asked him if he
had seen a
doctor about it and his friend said, "No, but I
probably
should. Do you know a good doctor?" The man
gave his
friend the name of his own doctor and assured him
that
he would be in good hands.

About a week later, they met again and the man
wasn't sure
if his friend's cold was really better. So, he
asked him,
"Did you see my doctor?"

"Oh, yeah," his friend said. "He was a really
nice guy."

The man asked, "Did he give you something to help
your cold?"

"Sure did," his friend answered, somewhat
enthusiastically.
"He told me to drink a big glass of fresh orange
juice after
a hot bath."

The man asked, "Well, did it help?"

And his! friend said, "I don't really know,
I haven't finished drinking the bath yet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Keli, for heaven's sake, can't you talk to me
once in a while?" scolded
Greg. "Your head is forever buried in books. You
don't even know I'm
alive. Sometimes I wish I were a book. At least
you would look at me."
"That isn't such a bad idea," mused Keli. "Then
I could take you to the
library every few days and change you for
something more interesting."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman writing at post-office desk was
approached by a man
whose hand was in a cast.
"Pardon me," said the man, "but could you
please address this
post card for me?" The woman gladly did so,
agreeing also to
write a short message and sign for him.
"There," said the woman, smiling. "Is there
anything else I
can do for you?"
"Yes," the man replied, "At the end could you
put 'P.S. -
Please excuse the handwriting'?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Norm's help line 

It's clear why these people needed to call a "help" line.

 

Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

 

Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."

 

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)
"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

 

Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."

 

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."

 

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

 

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "OK."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

 

Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

 

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to:
mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca
SUBSCRIBE RessyPees-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

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**** Reader's Submissions ****

 
 



**** TODAYS LINKS ****

  
Dragging obscure words into the light of day
 


**** ON THIS DAY ****
REMEMBER, AND NEVER FORGET

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American Heart Association web site on physical activity for women

and men. Features include health facts, practical tips, fitness news, a
personal trainer, user forums and event calendar.
http://www.heart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3040778
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to
abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!

 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age
of thirty- five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@joink.com
     subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 **** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****

 

SARA FISHER FINISHES 12TH

 

Farewell performance? Franchitti ices first IRL title

After taking the checkered flag, Dario Franchitti unfurls the flag of his native Scotland to celebrate his first IndyCar championship

By A.J. Perez, USA TODAY

JOLIET, Ill. — All Dario Franchitti needed to claim his first IRL IndyCar Series title was to finish ahead of Scott Dixon.

An empty fuel tank on the final lap made sure of that Sunday.

Dixon's engine ran dry down the backstretch, allowing Franchitti to pass by and claim both the season-ending Peak Antifreeze Indy 300 at Chicagoland Speedway and, more important, his first major open-wheel title.

 

RESULTS: Peak Antifreeze Indy 300

"The first thing I had to do was to avoid him, because he went pretty far up the track," Franchitti said. "Once I collected the car, from there and to the finish line there was a lot of screaming on the radio. I'm definitely relieved and happier than I thought it would be. This is different (from winning the Indianapolis 500 in May) because it's the whole year rolled into one."

While the IndyCar schedule might have concluded, Franchitti's season could be extended by a deal with Chip Ganassi Racing to run in NASCAR, according to the Associated Press quoting a person close to the negotiations.

Franchitti is expected to replace David Stremme in the Sprint Cup Series in 2008, the first year of a contract that could run as many as five seasons.

Franchitti, his wife, actress Ashley Judd, and Ganassi wouldn't comment on the subject Sunday.

"Next year will wait until next week," Franchitti said. "I want to enjoy this."

While talk has swirled this weekend about a budding NASCAR career, Franchitti said he was focused on the task at hand — fending off Dixon, who started the race three points behind him in the standings.

He was losing that battle much of the day, dropping back several spots early after starting from the pole. Franchitti followed Dixon into the pits on lap 147 of the 200-lap event on the 1.5-mile oval, both gambling they'd have enough ethanol to finish the race. It appears they wouldn't have until Andretti Green Racing's Danica Patrick spun entering the pits with seven laps remaining, bringing out a caution that set up a two-lap shootout.

It wasn't until Dixon lost power that Franchitti was able to get around.

"I think at that point, you always are just hoping that you're going to have the amount of fuel you need to get to the end," said Dixon, who coasted in 1.8439 seconds behind Franchitti. "When you look at it, we were really only a corner away from it."

While Franchitti may no longer be racing most of the 22 drivers anytime soon, he could see third-place finisher Sam Hornish Jr. in the not-so-distant future. Hornish, who won both the Indianapolis 500 and the season title a year ago, will attempt to make his Cup debut at the Sylvania 300 at New Hampshire International Speedway this Sunday and try to qualify for at least five more races, including the four remaining races that use NASCAR's next-generation car.

Penske Racing president Tim Cindric said the team is a few weeks away from a decision on whether Hornish will compete full time in Cup next season. Whatever happens, he'd like to be in an IndyCar at least once in 2008.

"It's tough to run (the Indianapolis 500 and the NASCAR's Coca-Cola 600) on the same day," Hornish said. "I'll sit there and try to needle (team owner) Roger (Penske) as much as I can to let me do it."

Robby Gordon was the last to run both races on the same day in 2004.

Marco Andretti brought out one of three cautions when he lost control and slammed the wall on lap 34, the 10th time this season he's been unable to finish a race. Andretti was taken to an area hospital complaining of neck pain, where he was evaluated and released.

Asked to characterize his season in five words or less, Franchitti grinned and replied: "I can do it in three words. No, two. Up and down.

"It's been a great season and I'd like to say I enjoyed every minute of it, but there were a couple of moments when I was upside down that it wasn't so much fun," he added, referring to terrifying airborne crashes that he walked away from on consecutive weeks last month in Michigan and Kentucky. "But it's been a blast."

Before his rash of crashes, combined with a string of victories by Dixon, Franchitti had built a 65-point lead. But he went into Sunday's race ahead of Dixon by just three points and knowing whichever driver finished ahead of the other would win the title.

Dixon coasted over the finish line 1.844 seconds behind, in second place in both the race and the championship. Franchitti won the title and the $1 million prize that goes with it by 13 points.

Dixon could hardly believe his fate.

"It's just a shame that it came down to a fuel race," he said, shrugging his shoulders in disappointment. "Our car was clearly quicker all day. It wasn't our day. The 27 (Franchitti) was getting better fuel mileage all day, and that's what it came down to. It's tough, man."

"I can honestly take a beating gracefully if you get beaten on even terms. But I guess we did. We had the same amount of fuel and we didn't use it wisely."

Contributing: Wire reports

JARRING WORDS FROM JUDD

Exhausted and exhilarated following his narrow victory, Dario Franchitti kneeled by the rear of his car moments after he beat Scott Dixon to capture his first IndyCar Series championship Sunday.

It was his moment, his day. But wife Ashley Judd got her turn in the spotlight.

The actress put on a dramatic performance during a brief TV interview in which she praised her "sweet little husband" for surviving the "bloody sharks" on the track and ripped rookie Milka Duno, saying she has no business on the track.

"You saw the Penskes work so well and the Target guys work so well, and my sweet little husband was just out there with the bloody sharks," Judd said after the season-finale at Chicagoland Speedway. "They just sharked him all day. And he never gave up hope. He just hung in there and ... was in a great position. And I know that this is not very sportsmanlike, but they've got to get the 23 car (Duno) off the track. It's very dangerous. I'm tired of holding my tongue. When a car's 10 miles (an hour) off the pace, it's not appropriate for it to be racing. People's lives are at stake."

Duno, in only her seventh race of the season, placed 15th, 16 laps behind the winner and finished ahead of just two drivers who completed the race. Her average speed of 159.855 mph was nowhere near Franchitti's 173.886.

-- The Associated Press


**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

11-

Gov. Jimmy Davis born "James Houston Davis," in Beech Springs, LA' 1899. Inducted CMHF 1972.

Jack Shook, singer/session guitarist, born Decatur, IL 1910.

Randy Hughes, Patsy Cline's manager and Pilot, born Gum, TN 1928.

Ernest Tubb recorded at the second known country music recording session, ever to take place in Nashville. The Decca session was held at WSM's Studio B, in 1945. One of the songs recorded that day was "It's Been So Long Darling" which went to #1 on the charts.

Tom T. Hall recorded "That's How I Got To Memphis" 1968.

Leon Payne, age 52, died in San Antonio, TX 1969.

Marty Robbins recorded "Walkin' Piece Of Heaven/Franklin, Tennessee" 1972.

Barbara Mandrell seriously injured in car wreck in Hendersonville, TN 1984. The driver of the other vehicle, Mark White, age 19, was killed when his auto crossed the centerline striking Barbara's vehicle head on. Both of Barbara's children were in the car with her.

The Stoney Mountain Cloggers, made their final Grand Ole Opry appearance, 1993.

Billy Ray Cyrus' PAX-TV show "Doc" is filmed in Toronto, but the setting is New York City. While filming skyline footage of NYC on 9-11-2001, cameras were pointed at the World Trade Center when the plane crashed into the south tower. The footage was provided to government officials, and media outlets.

David Skepner, age 63, manager of Loretta Lynn, and Riders In The Sky, died of a heart attack on 9-11-2001, after the attack on the Twin Towers, and Pentagon.

On 9-11-2001, The American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP) were scheduled to present Garth Brooks with their Golden Note Award, at a dinner with members of Congress. As a result of the terrorist attacks on America the dinner was canceled, and Garth was stranded in New York City.

Rodney Crowell's daughter Carrie lives with her mother Rosanne Cash, in New York City. Eleven-year-old Carrie was at school on 9-11-2001, when the plane crashed into the south tower of the World Trade Center, a mere 15 blocks away. Rosanne retrieved Carrie, unharmed, a few hours later. 2001.

Carolyn Mayer Beug, 48, filmmaker who produced several music videos for Dwight Yoakam, died in New York City in 2001. She was a passenger on American Airlines Flight 11 that was crashed into the World Trade Center by terrorists.

John Ritter, age 54, son of Tex Ritter, died 2003.

Josh Gracin performed on CBS-TV's The Early Show 2004.




 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Chesney recaptures musical inspiration

By NEKESA MUMBI MOODY, AP Music Writer
Mon Sep 10, 3:25 PM ET

NEW YORK - You could say that Kenny Chesney, with a top tour, hit after hit and another multiplatinum album, enjoyed an amazing last couple of years — but you'd be wrong. Yes, he accomplished all that. But, enjoy it? That's another matter.

2006 was another pinnacle in the seemingly unstoppable career of the country superstar, but it also may have been his most frustrating time as an artist — and a person.

Chesney was still reeling from his very public breakup of his brief marriage to Academy Award-winner Renee Zellweger (and the tabloid frenzy that followed), and felt particularly uninspired, even when it came to what he loved most — touring.

"I wasn't mentally ready to go on the road, after all the media stuff that happened with the breakup with Renee, I just mentally wasn't ready to go, so all last year, even though I had fun and the whole tour was amazing ... mentally I just wasn't 100 percent there," he admits.

He was even reluctant to work on a follow-up to his multiplatinum 2005 album, "The Road and the Radio," which featured such hits as "Beer in Mexico."

"Last year at the CMA Awards ... he said to me, `I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get this record done; I don't know what I want to say,'" Joe Galante, head of Sony Nashville, recalls Chesney saying.

Galante didn't want to push his superstar to make a record he wasn't ready to make. But he told him to take a crack at it, and see if something might give him inspiration.

Just as Galante suspected, the inspiration did come — though not from the usual sources. Chesney, who has written or co-written tunes for all of his previous albums, found the most personal and profound songs for his new disc, "Just Who I Am: Poets and Pirates," from the pens of others. The album, on sale Tuesday, doesn't contain one song written by Chesney. Even so, he considers it perhaps the one that reveals his true emotions more than any other, especially with songs like "Wife and Kids," where he wistfully yearns for the perfect family life that now eludes him, and "Better as a Memory," in which he lists his own shortcomings as a mate.

"This record opens me up a little bit more, and I'm letting that happen more and more, and that's tough for a guy like me, who's constantly got a wall up," says the congenial Chesney, relaxing at a Manhattan studio a few hours before a concert at Madison Square Garden.

"There's a piece of me in all of these songs, there's a whole lot of me in the majority of them," he continues. "`Better as a Memory,' that's probably one of the most brutally honest songs that I've ever recorded about me, and it's a letter that I've probably written to a lot of girls before."

As Galante puts it: "I think he let people into the issues that are facing him."

Part of this newfound introspection, and willingness to put more of his emotions out for public dissection, came after Chesney began working with a country great who has endured plenty of triumphs and setbacks in the public eye — legend Willie Nelson. Chesney is the producer on Nelson's next record, due out next year.

"Every artist feeds off inspiration, and when I needed it the most, God gave me Willie Nelson," Chesney says.

When Chesney began working on the album in late 2006, he hadn't started working on his own record, and admits to feeling "pretty stressed out."

Though his marriage to Zellweger began and ended quickly in 2005, the aftereffects of the split lasted much longer. There was the gossip and innuendo that surfaced when it was revealed that Zellweger cited "fraud" as a reason for the annulment of their four-month union (though she took pains to later say it had nothing to do with Chesney's character and was just legal jargon).

Galante says that Chesney was also disappointed when in 2005 he lost the CMA Award for entertainer of the year, especially after the huge success of the album "When the Sun Goes Down."

"That was a really really tough time," says Galante. "It's kind of like, what happened here, I have nothing to show for this. ... No doubt about it, he was hurt."

Still, Chesney is quick to point out he has no regrets — "I wouldn't change anything that's happened in my life, not one single thing, even in the last three or four years"

But, he concedes, he was definitely feeling somewhat adrift both professionally and personally, until he started working with Nelson in the studio.

"It was the inspiration that I needed as a songwriter," he says. "With all that Willie's gone through in his life, he's got the best attitude. ... I left that whole project feeling as if I had just taken a deep breath, artistically, spiritually, everything, and I think it had a deep effect on how I recorded my record."

Listening to the 39-year-old Chesney's "Just Who I Am" should give his fans a better picture of who he is than previous efforts, some of which are famously lighthearted, like "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy." While there are songs that hint toward his carefree bachelor ways ("Got a Little Crazy Last Night" details a one-night stand), others paint a picture of a man reflecting on more serious issues in life, be they concerns about settling down or frustrations that eat away at the soul.

Even the title, "Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates," is autobiographical, touching on the poetry of music and the kind of pirate lifestyle touring brings.

"I think it's just a natural progression," he says of his growing openness. "I think I'm more comfortable with it, more comfortable as a person, more comfortable as a songwriter, more comfortable in my skin than I've been in the last several years. And I think that songs on this record show that."

Still, he's not quite ready to reveal just everything. While he may have been frustrated during and after the breakup of his marriage, that doesn't mean he had writer's block: the difficulties actually made him pretty prolific.

"I've got a lot of great songs!" he says, laughing. "You won't hear any on this record — maybe in ten years from now."
 

Joe Nichols Gets Married

September 10, 2007 — Country music artist Joe Nichols married sweetheart Heather Singleton last night in a candlelight ceremony attended by family and close friends. The couple opted for a traditional wedding at the historic Whitfield Chapel in Savannah, Ga., a city they agree is one of the most romantic in the world.

"Heather and I have known each other since we were 18 years old, and I can honestly say I fell in love with her the first day I saw her," Nichols said. "The saying 'timing is everything' is so true with us. I have never been happier."

The couple will reside in Nashville, Tenn.




**** Amy's Kitchen ****  


Peaches And Cream Dessert

3/4 cup all purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
3 oz vanilla pudding mix (instant or not will work fine)
3 Tbsp butter
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
20 oz can peaches
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sugar
3 Tbsp peach juice
Combine flour, baking powder, pudding, salt, butter, milk, and egg
in a bowl. Beat 2 minutes. Pour into greased pie plate. Drain
peaches, saving juice. Mix together, cream cheese, 1/2 cup sugar,
and peach juice. Spread peaches in pie plate. Spread cream cheese
mixture over peaches within 1-inch of the edge Bake 350 F,
30-35minutes.


 
Banana Split Pie

8oz cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
5 Tbsp milk
1 graham cracker crust, 9 inch
2 bananas, sliced
1 can (8oz) crushed pineapple, drained
1 carton (8oz) whipped topping
1 bottle (6oz) maraschino cherries, drained
Mix cream cheese, powdered sugar and milk together and put into
graham cracker crust. Slice the bananas and place on top of mixture.
Top with crushed pineapple, followed by the whipped topping. Add
the cherries for decoration. Refrigerate for several hours or overnight
before serving. Serves 6




**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

What is the bestselling beer in the world?

We chugged down the rest of our beer (root beer, that is -- we are at work after all), wiped the foam from our mouths, and started our quest for the bestselling beer.

All links we visited confirm that the King of Beers, Budweiser, came by its nickname honestly. Yes, it's true -- that rather bland brew
Budweiser wears the crown of bestselling beer in the world. Until recently, it also held the title of bestselling beer in America. But Bud was recently dethroned in the United States by its brother, Bud Light.

Budweiser's maker,
Anheuser-Busch, is the largest brewer in the world and has a corner on about 50% of the U.S. beer market. The company sells beer under a number of other labels, including Busch (of course), but also Michelob, Red Wolf, and O'Doul's. The company also holds an interest in two microbreweries, Redhook and Widmer Brothers.

So although Anheuser-Busch has conquered the world beer market and Budweiser may be the King of Beers, true beer lovers usually give the crown to a
less mass-marketed brew.



****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
They're not really fixing the streets. They're just moving
the holes so that motorists can't memorize them.


LAST CALL Y'ALL


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