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If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

THURSDAY  SEPTEMBER 13,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: A real home is more than a roof
over your head -- it is foundation under your feet.

Sue Them
A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that
the tombstone reads:

"Here lies Shirley, wife of Morris Rosen, L. L. D.,
Wills, Divorce, Malpractice, and Immigracion Legal Services "

Suddenly, Morris bursts into tears. His brother says, "You should cry,
pulling a cheap stunt like this on Shirley's tombstone !"

Through his tears, Morris sobs, "You don't understand!
They left out the phone number and Email !"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No matter how hard my mom tries, every plant or flower
she has attempted to grow seems to wither and die an
untimely death under her care. But she never gives up
hope. While she was visiting home recently, my sister
nudged me and pointed to a line of new plants placed by
the kitchen window. "Look," she whispered, "death row."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SEATTLE, WA (AheadOfNews.com) - For a moment, it appeared
that Bill Gates had lost his job. Gates, chairman of the Microsoft
Corporation, was among 10,000 of the software giant's employees
who on Wednesday received a surprise layoff notice. It said:

     Dear Mr. Gates:
      I am sure you are aware of the poor economic conditions existing in
the country today. Because of these conditions, we have had to eliminate certain positions. Sadly, yours is among them.


      We hope that as conditions improve we will be able to consider you for another position. We wish you every success in finding a new job, and we extend our thanks for the good work you have done for us.

      Sincerely,

      Annie Byte, Director of Human Resources
     


As a red-faced Byte later explained, it was all a mistake.

"Our computers went nuts and sent out all these layoff letters," she said.
"We had no idea what they were doing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** Ms Lilly's Brief View of the World ****
Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams in Iraq?
They're all men!

How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find
Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind spot when it
comes to finding things.

For crying' out loud! They can't find the dirty clothes hamper.
They can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard
and splatters on the floor.... and these are the people we have sent
into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction? They
probably couldn't find them if they were lying in the middle of a
dusty street with a picture of Saddam taped on the side.

I keep wondering why groups of women weren't sent in---preferably
mothers.
After all, mothers know that their boys can't find their socks or
underwear when they're neatly folded in their dresser drawers, so how
could they be expected to find hidden biological weapons? On the
other hand, mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can
find a gram of dope.

What we need over there are women like my mother.
My mother could find the old olive bottles filled with dimes that dad
stashed in the attic beneath the rafters. She could sniff out a
diary two rooms and one floor away. She always knew when the lid of
the cookie jar had been disturbed, and I swear she must have dusted
for prints on the roll of salami that was always in the refrigerator.
She knew if a slice had been removed and by whom.
I developed her ability to stalk out criminal activity when my kids
were at home. They couldn't get away with much that I didn't know
about.

They still think they got away with a lot, but actually I always knew
what they were doing, and if I decided that what they were doing was
not too important or dangerous, I allowed them to think they were
getting away with it. It was important for them to think they have
an uncanny ability to pull the wool over mom's eyes occasionally.

But male inspectors?

Going after Saddam?

Now I know that our country has gone mad. Those inspectors will rely
on electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats. They will try
to use science to find chemicals.    These men, dressed in their
pretentious jumpsuits, carrying their bulging briefcases, will barge
into palaces and hovels, look around and then officiously announce,
"all clear".

But if mothers were sent in they wouldn't need body suits,
briefcases or science.   Mothers would go in, charge up to Saddam
and, with their hands on their hips, demand, "do you have any weapons
of mass destruction?" And they could tell in an instant whether he
was lying.

And mothers would be quite capable of finding his stash no matter how
cleverly he thought it was hidden.

God help him once it was found; he would be chastised until he begged
for mercy. He wouldn't be given a "time-out"; he would get an old
fashioned butt-blistering by women who are adept at butt-blistering.
And by the time these women finished with Saddam, he would be sitting
in the middle of a dusty road with a limp rifle and a stunned look on
his face.
..Pardon me....Did I say brief ???...J
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My husband has always had a beard.

One day, he decided to shave it off. He came into the room where
my 3 year old granddaughter Tiffany was and asked her, "Notice
anything different?"

To which she replied, "No," with a puzzled look on her face.

My husband then said to her, "My beard's gone."

Now the puzzled look disappeared and the innocent eyes appeared
when she said "I didn't take it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sally purchased an answering machine with a prerecorded message that
used a male voice. She chose not to record a new message. The next
Saturday she was "screening" her calls. The phone rang and the machine
answered... After the message, there was a pause and the caller hung up.
The phone rang a second time -- the same result. Then the phone rang a
third time, and the person said: "This is your mother, I think. If I am,
please call me."
~~~~~~~~~~~
It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's
birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would
have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or
December 26, just for the long weekends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fire in Manhattan caused a power outage that lasted
for several hours. The interruption in elevator service to
highrises was a major inconvenience to everyone but Wall Street
stock brokers, who were already using the windows.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not
measuring up to expectations. The sergeant threatened to send them all
back three weeks to start over. Apparently, at least one new soldier was
already reconsidering his career choice. As the sergeant's threat hung
in the air, an annoymous voice called out, "How about sending us back
FOUR weeks?"
~~~~~~~~~~~
"According to military analysts, an invasion of Iraq by U.S.
forces could cost between $20 and $50 billion. The Pentagon
announced it would offset those costs by selling sponsorships, so
the impending conflict will be named 'The Verizon Wireless/Pizza
Hut War Against Iraq'." - Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live's Weekend
Update.
~~~~~
Overheard.....Jay Leno:

The host of the Tonight Show has had lots to say about the French.
Here are a few of his zingers:

"The French announced today that they would not help us remove
Saddam from Iraq. Well, Duh! They didn't even help us remove
Hitler from France."

(From a few summers ago) "France is now being hit by an extreme
heat-wave, so the French government is advising its citizens to
"stay indoors and do nothing". You know, like they did in WW II."

Jay Leno says it's no surprise the French won't help us get Saddam
Hussein out of Iraq. They didn't help us get Germany out of
France, either. Still, it's essential for them to join us in the
war against Iraq. They can teach the Iraqis how to surrender.
-------
In 1966 upon being told that Charles DeGaulle had taken France
out of NATO and that all U.S. Troops must be evacuated off of
French soil President Lyndon Johnson told Secretary of State
Dean Rusk: Ask him about the cemeteries Dean!

So at end of the meeting Dean did ask DeGaulle if his order to
remove all U.S. troops from French soil also included the 60,000+
soldiers buried in France from World War I and World War II.
DeGaulle never answered.
~Unknown
~~~~~~~~
"Why are you so excited?", the surgeon asked the patient that was
about to be anesthetized.
"But doc, this is my first operation."
"Really? It's mine too, and I am not excited at all."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man has not been feeling well and goes to the doctor for
a check up. After the physical examination and a battery of blood tests
and X-rays, he asks the doctor about his situation. The doctor replies,
"You are very sick. You might not live longer than perhaps three or four
months." The man, in despair, yet, with a glimpse of hope says, "If you
don't mind, doctor, I would like to have a second opinion." "Okay," the
doctor answers, "you're ugly, too!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A drunk goes to the doctor complaining of tiredness and headaches. "I
feel tired all the time, my head hurts, and I'm not sleeping. What is
it, Doc?" The doctor examines him thoroughly and says, "I can't find
anything wrong. It must be the drinking." "Fair enough," replied the
lush. "I'll come back when you sober up."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent
medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you
expect to be ten years from now?"

"Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon.
I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had just received the exciting news that our
daughter was pregnant with her first child. So
we decided to order a gift from a maternity store
near her called Great Expectations. We checked
the phone book and located a Great Expectations
in our town. But when my wife went to the address,
all she found was a storefront office. "Where are
the clothes?" she asked the man sitting behind the
front desk, With a very puzzled look on his face,
the man responded, "Clothes?" "Maternity clothes."
"I think you're rushing things," he said. "This is a
dating service."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day a boy came walking home from school. On
the way home he saw a creek. He quickly jumped in,
clothes and all. When he arrived home completely
soaked his dad asked, "Son what happened?"

"I jumped in that creek down the road."

"Why did you do that?"

"I dunno."

His dad was very angry and said, "If you jump in
that creek again, just because, I'm gonna tan that
hide - just because! Is that clear?"

"Yes dad." replies his son.

The next day, the boy came home walking from school,
and sure enough when he saw that creek, he jumped
right on in.

When he went home, his dad knew what had happened
and asked, "Didn't I tell you not to jump in that
creek again?"

"Yes dad, but Satan told me to do it!"

His dad, being somewhat religous, decided to give
his son the benefit of the doubt and tells him -
"Next time Satan tells you to do something like
that, say 'Satan get thee behind me in the name
of Jesus'."

"Ok dad." replied the son.

Well the next day after school, the boy was
walking across the bridge, and well you know the
rest. He came home again soaked.

His dad said, "I thought I told you what to say
when you came to that creek!"

"I said what you told me dad, and when I did,
Satan pushed me in!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea.
"I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me
terribly nervous."
"My Billy used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I
broke him of the habit."
"How?"
"I hid his teeth."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our son, who's in the Army stationed in Georgia, invited my husband and
me for a visit. After driving endlessly through unfamiliar streets in
search of an entrance to Fort Stewart, my husband suddenly said, "We're
getting closer." "How do you know?" I asked. He pointed to a sign that
read, "Sonny's Bar-B-Q--Tank Parking Available."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
America's Deteriorating Military
I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as our government
underwent a peaceful transition of power a year ago last January. At
first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism as I watched George W.
Bush take his oath of office. However, all that pride quickly vanished
as I later watched William Jefferson Clinton board Air Force One for the
last time. I saw 21Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a
21-gun salute to the outgoing president. It was then that I realized how
far American's military had deteriorated under Clinton. Every last one
of them missed.
 

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**** Reader's Submissions ****

Have you heard about the trucker who has painted his cab and trailer with the names of all those who lost their lives in 9/11 ? The trucker's name is John Holmgren from Shafer, Minn. He has been "pulled over" numerous times just so the troopers can get their picture taken with the truck.

 

My thanks to Damaso Rodriguez
KEEP THIS GOING SO ALL CAN SEE
feel free to pass the pictures on

**** TODAYS LINKS ****

SoYouWanna.com teaches you how to do all the things

nobody taught you in school.

 http://www.soyouwanna.com/

 

Facts of the Day:

http://www.reference.com/thisday/

 

 Digital Camera resources
http://www.dcresource.com/

 

Space Images
http://www.slightlywarped.com/crapfactory/amazingimages/eclipse.htm

 

HydroElectric Power~How it Works
http://wwwga.usgs.gov/edu/hyhowworks.html

 

 Game Kick-Ups

Keep the soccer ball in the air for as long as you can.

 http://www.gamescraze.com/games/?g=kickups.swf

**** ON THIS DAY ****

http://www.heart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3040778
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!
 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Franchitti unsure on switching gears to NASCAR   By STEVE HERMAN, AP Sports Writer September 11, 2007 INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- Dario Franchitti is still unsure if his next lap at Indianapolis Motor Speedway will be in a stock car. The Indianapolis 500 and newly crowned IndyCar Series champion is expected to leave Andretti Green Racing for a ride in NASCAR next season. ``There's a lot of factors, and at the appropriate time I'll think about it, but right now I don't see it being the appropriate time,'' he said Tuesday. ``We just won the championship and we're in sort of the celebration stage of that. I'm not going to really think about my future until the end of this week or the start of next week at the earliest.'' Franchitti, who won the 500 in May, clinched the series title by winning the season-ending race at Chicagoland Speedway on Sunday. Franchitti, who was at the Speedway for a presentation ceremony of the Indy 500 and series championship trophies, is interested in NASCAR because of the challenge. ``NASCAR would be something different ... something I haven't done. Apart from Formula One, it's probably one of the few things I haven't driven. So that would be one of the reasons to look at that,'' the 34-year-old Scotsman said. Franchitti works on one-year contracts, so he would become a free agent on Dec. 1. Speculation on his future with Andretti Green began in May after he won the Indianapolis 500. ``I suppose one of the options is to do nothing next year, to say 'Thanks very much, I've had a good time. I'm going to go hang out somewhere quiet, on a beach,' but I really don't know yet,'' he added. ``I've been quite disciplined in not allowing myself to go down that road (making a decision), so we'll see.'' Former Indy winner and three-time series champion Sam Hornish Jr. also appears ready to make the jump to NASCAR next season. Hornish already has driven eight races in the developmental Busch Series since last year and plans to try to qualify a Penske Dodge for his Nextel Cup debut at New Hampshire on Sunday. ``Regardless of what I do or what Sam does, the IndyCar Series, I've noticed in the last couple of years, (has had) an increase in interest from fans, from TV numbers, crowds and the track, interest from outside,'' Franchitti said. ``I've been pleasantly surprised by that, so regardless of what any driver does, the series is bigger than any driver.'' IRL spokesman John Griffin said it's premature to comment on the possible departures of Hornish and Franchitti. ``From our standpoint, we feel we're in as good a position as we've ever been in the league's history in terms of drivers who have been around, established names,'' he said. Franchitti and team owners Michael Andretti, Kim Green and Kevin Savoree also received IndyCar Series championship trophies. Franchitti also was given a $100,000 diamond watch. Among other awards presented by the IRL on Tuesday night were $50,000 to Rahal Letterman driver Ryan Hunter-Reay as series rookie of the year. Englishman Alex Lloyd received the Firehawk Cup as champion of the developmental Indy Pro Series, along with other prizes, including a $25,000 watch and $4,000 ring. Japan's Hideki Mutoh won $10,000 as Pro Series rookie of the year. Andretti Green's Jaime Camara won $10,000 for improving the most positions in Pro Series races this season

 
Wheldon at center of IndyCar speculation
 

 

By Bruce Martin
PA SportsTicker Contributing Editor

 

CHICAGO (TICKER) -- Now that Dario Franchitti has clinched the 2007 IndyCar title there are two prime seats open in the series as it appears both Franchitti and three-time champion Sam Hornish Jr. are heading to NASCAR Nextel Cup.

 

And the speculation has centered on the availability of 2005 IndyCar champion Dan Wheldon, who remains under contract at Target/Chip
Ganassi Racing but would be a worthy candidate for either ride.

 

 

 

The 2007 season-finale hadn't even started yet but Wheldon's name was privately being discussed in the IndyCar garage area at Chicagoland Speedway, according to sources.

 

"I had a team manager from another team come up and tell me about that," said Mike Hull, the managing director of Target/Chip Ganassi Racing. "I can honestly say that I don't know whether Dan and Chip Ganassi have discussed that."

 

The team entered Sunday's Peak Antifreeze Indy 300 presented by Mr. Clean with a legitimate chance for driver Scott Dixon to win the 2007 championship. Dixon had the title in hand as he battled hard with Franchitti in the closing laps of the race, only to run out of fuel two turns away from the checkered flag.

 

Franchitti went on to win the race and the championship in what is likely his final IndyCar race.

 

Both Franchitti and Dixon topped off their fuel tanks on lap 148 of the 200-lap race in an effort to stretch their fuel mileage to the distance. This came near the conclusion of a lengthy pit stop to repair the SAFER Barrier after Vitor Meira crashed in the fourth turn wall.

 

Members of Team Penske complained there was confusion from Race Control regarding the wave-around policy before that restart which created a situation where Dixon and Franchitti would have the rest of the field one-lap down when those drivers had to make their final pit stop.

 

"When the No. 4 car (Vitor Meira) hit the wall, there was a lot of confusion during the caution period about who would get waved around and whether the pits were open or closed," said fourth-place finisher Helio Castroneves. "It's unfortunate that the race officials made the call that left only two cars on the lead lap.

 

"If it wasn't for this, I'm confident that either Sam Hornish or I would have come away with the win.

 

This is where Wheldon figured into the outcome after he made his final pit stop later in the race.

 

Hull radioed to Wheldon that Dixon was going to run out of fuel so he instructed Wheldon to take the lead and let Dixon conserve fuel by "drafting" behind him. But Wheldon didn't take the lead, leaving Dixon out front burning up valuable fuel.

 

"We switched radios on Dan's car before the race and had issues with it throughout," Hull said. "Because of that, it took us four laps to position Dan with Scott."

 

Despite that, when Danica Patrick spun out entering the pits on lap 193, it appeared both Franchitti and Dixon would have enough to make it to the end because of the five laps of caution where the cars are at reduced
speed.

 

It worked for Franchitti, who made it to the finish, but Dixon was a half-gallon of Ethanol short and finished second, losing the race and the championship by 13 points.

 

Wheldon was scrutinized for not aiding his teammate in a championship battle, which may be part of the reason why there are rumors he may
want an early release from the team.

 

Earlier this season at Richmond International Raceway in June, Wheldon spoke of his desire to try NASCAR but was rebuked by Ganassi, who told the driver from England he was under contract to remain in the IndyCar.

 

So when Ganassi was able to get Canadian Club as a sponsor to replace Coor's Light in the No. 40 Dodge driven by David Stremme, he was also able to get Franchitti as the driver in NASCAR.

 

That had to irk Wheldon to a degree and now he may be interested in returning to Andretti Green Racing to take over Franchitti's No. 27 IndyCar.

 

Wheldon raced for AGR from 2003-2005, winning the title in his final season. He appeared to be the leading contender for this year's championship after winning two of the first four races but has been MIA since the Indianapolis 500 in May.

 

Despite that, Wheldon would be a prime choice to either take over Franchitti's vacated ride at AGR or Hornish's No. 6 at Team Penske.

 

Former IndyCar driver Ryan Briscoe, who competes for Team Penske in the American Le Mans Series, is considered the leading contender to take over Hornish's IndyCar when the announcement is finally made that Hornish will leave for NASCAR. Hornish is making his Nextel Cup debut this weekend at New Hampshire International Speedway.

 

That could start a domino effect among IndyCar drivers.

 

Ryan Hunter-Reay, who clinched the IndyCar Rookie of the Year title on Sunday for Rahal Letterman Racing, could be a candidate at Ganassi if Wheldon leaves. And A.J. Allmandinger recently signed with Ganassi's NASCAR team to drive the Busch car in several races.

 

Allmandinger was an open-wheel start in Champ Car before switching to NASCAR this season for Team Red Bull. Allmandinger has struggled with
the Toyota team but would be a tremendous addition to the IndyCar Series.

 

Also, 2007 Indy Pro Series champion Alex Lloyd is confident he will get a decent IndyCar ride next season. The driver from the Isle of Man off the coast of England set IPS records this year with eight victories.

 

Franchitti will be honored Tuesday night at the Indianapolis Motor
Speedway during the IndyCar Series awards ceremony. It will be his last official act as a member of Andretti Green Racing.

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-13-

Kelly Harrell, singer/songwriter, born Wythe County, VA 1889.

Daniel Williams, fiddler, for the East Texas Serenaders born 1900.

Kenny "Rudy" Trietsch, of the Hoosier Hot Shots born Arcadia, IN 1903.

Bill Monroe, the Father of Bluegrass, born Rosine, KY 1911.

Claude Casey, singer/bandleader, born Enoree, SC 1912.

Ben Smathers and The Stoney Mountain Cloggers joined the Opry, 1958.

Bobbie Cryner, singer/songwriter, born Woodland, CA 1961.

Barbara Mandrell debuted on the charts with "I've Been Loving You Too Long," 1969.

Tom T. Hall recorded "Levi Jones" 1973.

Randy Travis' album "Old 8x10" was certified platinum 1988.

Ben Smathers, age 62, "Stoney Mountain Cloggers," died 1990.

Suzy Bogguss released "Somethin' Up My Sleeve" 1993.

The new U.S. postage stamp honoring Roy Acuff as "The King of Country Music," was unveiled on stage at the Grand Ole Opry 2003. U.S. Postmaster General John Potter presided.

The Canadian Country Music Association "CCMA" awards show was held in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada 2004.

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Elvis special includes Willie, Toby Keith, Miranda Lambert, Faith Hill
Tuesday, September 11, 2007 – Miranda Lambert, Toby Keith, Faith Hill and Willie Nelson will be among a group of musicians honoring Elvis Presley on the upcoming ABC news special, "Elvis, Viva Las Vegas," Tuesday, Sept. 18 at 9 p.m. eastern.
Lambert will perform "Jailhouse Rock," and Keith will perform "Mystery Train" with Aerosmith's Joe Perry. It was unknown what Hill and Nelson would perform. 

 

The two-hour special will examine how the King of Rock-and-Roll affected Las Vegas. Hosted by ABC News' "20/20" anchor Elizabeth Vargas, the special, produced in cooperation with Elvis Presley Enterprises, Inc., will incorporate footage of Elvis performing in Las Vegas, interviews with those closest to him and special performances from some of today's top recording stars singing Elvis' Vegas classics. 

 

Chris Isaak will perform with Brandi Carlile performing "Love Me Tender" (filmed on the former site of the Aladdin Hotel, where Elvis and Priscilla were married). Some musical artists talk about the influence Elvis had on them and others perform covers of their favorite Elvis songs. Artists include: 50 Cent, Beyonce, Daughtry, Celine Dion, Paul McCartney, "The Rock," Patti Scialfa and Oscar winners Three-6-Mafia. 

 

The two-hour special will include exclusive interviews with Elvis' former wife Priscilla Presley and will chronicle different aspects of Elvis's life during the Las Vegas concert years. Elvis was able to reinvent himself in Las Vegas and make a comeback at a time when critics didn't think he had a chance. 
 

A COUNTRY CHRISTMAS CELEBRATES 15 YEARS ON AIR!

A Country Christmas was developed and has been on air since 1992 to serve country radio stations with 12 hours of quality programming. While most of us are just getting over Labor Day the production staff at Alexis Broadcasting have been busy at work creating the 2007 12 Hour A Country Christmas show. Each hour can run on it’s own in order to maximize sales for our affiliate markets. A Country Christmas is full of star power relating what Christmas means to them or their favorite Christmas memory. The show also features listeners talking about their favorite Christmas song or the memory that made Christmas so special growing up. The show is available either via download or CD and ships at the beginning of November. A Country Christmas is hosted by Stan Campbell.

A Country Christmas works on a cash basis and is priced to fit any budget or market size. There are 12 minutes an hour for stations to sell to local sponsors. This show can be repeated as often as a station likes during the 2007 season.

For More information e-mail sgraham@alexisbroadcasting.com or call toll free 866-505-8863 ext 440

Vince Gill Forges His Own Path

September 11, 2007 — Vince Gill's CMA-nominated album, These Days, and the huge tour he just wrapped up seem to fly in the face of an increasingly single- and digital-oriented industry.

"It's going so far against the grain, it's laughable," he tells the Modesto Bee. "Nobody is doing this. I wasn't setting out to prove something. I wasn't setting out to go against the grain. But I don't think that anything great has ever been the result of someone being a follower, a copier. I thought, why not now? In hindsight, looking back, had I just made a 10- or 11-song record, it may have gone largely unnoticed. The curiosity of this record is its success."

Vince says the four-disc, 43-song album initially grew out of his weariness of having to pick only a few songs out of large batch of new originals for each album and also to fully express himself. "I just think that all of that music is inside of me," he says. "More than me saying I want to be a pop artist and a blues artist, that music is just also inside of me and this is an opportunity for me to let it out."

In addition to his CMA nomination, Vince will be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in October along with Mel Tillis and Ralph Emery. He said he really isn't sure what he'll do next. "I'm scared to make another record," he joked. "I'm scared after this record, if I put out a regular record, people will say, 'What's with this guy? He's cheating us!' "



**** Amy's Kitchen ****  

Low / No Fat:

 Low Fat Banana Cake With Cream Cheese Frosting
from lowfatcooking.com

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/2 cup nonfat milk
1/4 cup canola oil
3 medium ripe bananas, mashed
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup light tub cream cheese
1 tsp vanilla

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Coat inside of 9-inch cake
round cake pan with nonstick cooking spray. Whisk flour,
baking powder, baking soda and salt in a small bowl.
Place brown sugar, egg in a large bowl; beat with a
mixer at medium speed until fluffy.
Add oil, milk, mashed banana and vanilla extract and
mix until well blended. Gradually mix in flour mixture
until just moist. Pour batter into cake pan and bake
for 30 minutes. Cool on a wire rack.

For the frosting, place sugar, cream cheese and vanilla
in a medium bowl and mix with an electric mixer until
smooth. Spread frosting on top of cooled cake.

Cake serves 12.

Per slice: Calories 305, Calories from Fat 62,
Total Fat 6.6g, (sat 1.4g), Cholesterol 22mg,
Sodium 234mg, Carbohydrate 56.5g, Fiber 1.2g,
Protein 4.3g

Diabetic Delight...

 Banana Chocolate Parfaits
Source: dLife

1 cup plain low-fat yogurt
1 0.8-ounce box sugar-free chocolate pudding mix
2 medium bananas, 6 ounces each, peeled
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup reduced-fat frozen dairy whipped topping
Unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tablespoon chopped walnuts
4 fresh Bing cherries with stems for garnish (optional)

1. In a food processor or blender, combine yogurt and
pudding mix until smooth.
2. Cut each banana into 6 pieces on the diagonal.
Sprinkle with lemon juice.
3. Place 2 banana quarters in each of 4 dessert
parfait glasses or goblets. Top with 1/4 of the
pudding mix. Top each with 1 tablespoon whipped
topping.
Using a fine sieve, sift a little cocoa powder on top
of each serving. Sprinkle with walnuts and add a
cherry on top, if using.

Nutritional Information: Per Serving--
Calories: 138 Carbohydrates: 25g Protein: 4g
Total Fat: 3g Saturated Fat: 1.3g Cholesterol: 4mg
Fiber: 2g Sodium: 336mg

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Do Penguins Have Knees?

They sure do, although they are discreetly hidden underneath
their feathers. Anatomically, all birds' legs are pretty much
alike, although the dimensions of individual bones vary a great
deal among species.

Penguins, like other birds, have legs divided into three
segments. The upper segment, the equivalent of our thigh, and the
middle segment, the equivalent of our shinbone, or the drumstick
of a chicken, are both quite short in penguins.

When we see flamingos, or other birds with long legs, they appear
to possess a knee turned backwards, but these are not the
equivalent of a human knee. Penguins, flamingos, and other birds
do have knees, with patellas (knee caps) that bend and function
much like their human counterparts. The backwards joint that we
perceive as a knee in flamingos actually separates the bird
equivalent of the ankle from the bones of the upper foot. The
area below the backwards joint is not the lower leg but the upper
areas of the foot. In other words, penguins (and other birds)
stand on their toes, like ballet dancers.

Penguins are birds, of course, but their element is water rather
than sky. Penguins may waddle on land, but their legs help make
them swimming machines. Penguins use their wings as propellers
in
the water, and their elongated feet act as rudders.
So rest assured. Even if you can't see them, penguins have legs
(with knees). And they know how to use them.

~source used: "Do Penguins Have Knees?"
by David Feldman




****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten,
either write things worth reading or do things worth the writing.
                                            -- Benjamin Franklin

LAST CALL Y'ALL


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