From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to The Funnies
est.7-4-2000

Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

FRIDAY  SEPTEMBER 14,2007



THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."

Esther and Sally, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are
curious about the latest arrival in their building -- a quiet, nice
looking gentleman who keeps to himself.

Esther says," Sally, you know I'm shy. Why don't you go over to him at
the pool and find out a little about him. He looks so lonely."

Sally agrees, and later that day at the pool, she walks up to him and
says, "Excuse me, mister. I hope I'm not prying, but my friend and I were
wondering why you looked so lonely."

"Of course I'm lonely, he says, "I've spent the past 20 years in
prison."

"You're kidding! What for?"

"For killing my third wife. I strangled her."

"What happened to your second wife?"

"I shot her."

"And, if I may ask, your first wife?"

"We had a fight and she fell off a building."

"Oh my," says Sally. Then turning to her friend on the other side of
the pool, she yells, "Yoo hoo, Esther, he's single."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day I took my 6-year-old son with me to visit a friend at work.
Everyone
there knew me, and I was offered a cup of coffee.
That day, as one of the employees went to make more coffee, my son
followed
her and asked, "What are you doing?"
"I'm making your mom's favorite drink," she answered.
Imagine my shock when I heard my son say, "Wow! You know how to make
beer?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the
country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they
were a few miles from home when they ran out of gas. They
were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck
approached.
Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer
his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver
of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank but
he didn't have a bucket or can.
One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if
he could use it. He said yes and proceeded to drain a couple of
quarts of gas into the pan. He waved goodbye to the nuns and
left.The nuns were carefully pouring the precious fluid into their
gas tank when the highway patrol came by.
The trooper stopped and watched for a minute, then he said:
"Sisters, I don't think it will work, but you sure have faith!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The head of a small industrial company posted DO IT NOW signs all around
his
office and plant in hopes of getting better results from his workers.
Some weeks later, when asked why he was removing the slogans, he said,
"It
worked too well: the bookkeeper skipped with $20,000; the chief clerk
eloped
with the best secretary I've ever had; three salesmen asked for raises;
and
the workers in the factory joined the union and are out on strike."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A doctor always stopped off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri
on his way home.

The bartender had the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.

One afternoon, the bartender was dismayed to find
he had no hazelnut extract. So he threw together a daiquiri
made with hickory nuts.

The doctor came in at his regular time, took a sip and exclaimed, "This
isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"

"No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "It's a hickory daiquiri, doc."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I love it when my husband thinks I might leave him. He gets so
insecure, he does the dishes.

Too bad I have to actually file divorce papers to get him to clean
the toilet."

-- Shirley Lipner
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THINGS OVERHEARD ON NOAH'S ARK......

10. "Did anyone think about bringing a couple of
umbrellas?"

9. "Hey, there are more than two flies in here!"

8. "Wasn't someone supposed to put two shovels on board?"

7. "OK, who's the wise-guy who brought the mosquitoes on
board?"

6. "Help! I need some Pepto for the elephants, QUICK!"

5. "Don't Make Me Pull This Ark Over And Come Back There!"

4. "No Ham, you cannot eat the Pig!"

3. "And whatever you do, DO NOT pull this plug out."

2. "Nice Doggie!"

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING OVERHEARD
ON NOAH'S ARK.....

1. "Are We There Yet?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two guys were in an English pub. They called the publican over and
asked him to settle an argument.
   
"Are there two pints in a quart or four?", asked one.
"There are two pints in a quart", confirmed the publican.
    
They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their
order.
    
"Two pints please, miss, and they are on the house." The barmaid
doubted that her boss would be so generous so one of the guys
called out to the publican at the other end of the bar, "You did
say two pints, didn't you?"
   
"That's right", he called back, "two pints."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe woke himself up with a loud "Hello!" to someone in
his dream.

As the next day came and went, Joe thought the
nocturnal outburst was his alone to remember. But that
night, as he and Margaret were getting ready for bed,
she said dryly, "If you see anyone you know tonight,
just wave."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double
martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his
shirt
pocket, then he asks the bartender to prepare another double martini.
After
he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket asks the
bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night
long.
But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you
order
a refill."

The man replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to
look
good, then I know it's time to go home."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MEATBALL MARAUDERS

Two robbers at a pizza parlor in Boston, Mass., took five
employees hostage, but allowed one to leave if he promised not to
call the police. He broke that promise: as Johnathan Ortega, 23,
and Miguel Angel Correa, 27, waited for the time-delay lock on the
safe,
officers surrounded the building. When the robbers realized they
were trapped, they tried to convince their hostages to tell police
they were customers and that the robbers had left.

"They were telling us, 'Oh, please, help us! Tie us up!'," says
the manager. "One of them said, 'I've got kids, I don't want to
go to jail!' They made believe they were hostages, too."The
robbers hid their guns and the employees tied them up -- and then
let the cops in to arrest them. (Boston Herald)

...Ortega and Correa are the sort of people that would have to be
reincarnated twice to get all the way up to "dumb".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny was staying with his grandmother for a
few days. He'd been playing outside for a while when
he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what
is it called when people are sleeping on top of each
other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him
the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Johnny just said, "OK" and went back outside to
play.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
"Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's
called bunk beds!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a
horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a
hound running along beside him.

He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes
the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his
dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar.

After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's
doing. And the guy replies - "I'm hunting you idiot... can't you
see that !"

"OK, OK..." says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you
hunt ?".

Immediately the hunter says, " Do you have any cheap Gin !!?".

Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman
replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff is there
anything else you'd like ? ".

No" says the hunter and he starts to leave.

As he reaches the door the barman calls after him, "By the way,
pal, exactly what do you hunt?"

" I hunt for cheap gin you bumbling idiot! Couldn't you tell
that - I'm a BarGIN Hunter!"
A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a
horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a
hound running along beside him.

He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes
the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his
dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar.

After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's
doing. And the guy replies - "I'm hunting you idiot... can't you
see that !"

"OK, OK..." says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you
hunt ?".

Immediately the hunter says, " Do you have any cheap Gin !!?".

Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman
replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff is there
anything else you'd like ? ".

No" says the hunter and he starts to leave.

As he reaches the door the barman calls after him, "By the way,
pal, exactly what do you hunt?"

" I hunt for cheap gin you bumbling idiot! Couldn't you tell
that - I'm a BarGIN Hunter!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smooth Operators
My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that
the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. "I know", he
replied. "It's a fad me and some of the guys started".
Weeks later, as the style persisted, I commented: "I can't stand
it! Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you." I gently
tucked the tag in place and rumpled his hair.
"Yeah," he said, smiling slyly. "All the girls do."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist. She
walked into his office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I
don't have any friends, no man will come near me and everybody laughs at
me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

"I'm sure I can," the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over
and lie face down on that couch."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you get when you cross a skunk and a giant?

I don't know but it stinks to high heaven.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Your Honor, my wife is just being ridiculous. Most women
would love to have a husband who still believes in
chivalry and I was only opening the door for her out of
chivalry."

"Mr. Smith," replied the judge, "I am granting the divorce.
I cannot believe chivalry was your motivation while
driving 65 mph."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"

"Yes," the golfer responded.

"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"

"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.

"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded . . .

"I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."

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**** Reader's Submissions ****

God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

I need this back. If you'll do this for me, I'll do it for you. When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need..

Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this.

Father, God bless my friend in whatever it is that You know they may need this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you.
BaBs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is the fifth in a new class of warship - designed for missions that include special operations against terrorists. It will carry a crew of 360 sailors and 700 combat-ready Marines to be delivered ashore by helicopters and assault craft.
Steel from the World Trade Center was melted down in a foundry in Amite , LA to cast the ship's bow section. When it was poured into the molds on Sept. 9, 2003, "those big rough steelworkers treated it with total  reverence," recalled Navy Capt. Kevin Wensing, who was there. "It was a spiritual moment for everybody there."
Junior Chavers, foundry operations manager, said that when the trade center steel first arrived, he touched it with his hand and the "hair on my neck stood up."  "It had a big meaning to it for all of us," he said. "They knocked us down. They can't keep us down. We're going to be back."

 

The ship's motto? "Never Forget"

Please keep this going so everyone can see what we are made of in this country!
As always feel free to pass this along....Jim
Thanks Norm

**** TODAYS LINKS ****

Honoring our Dead Soldiers
Check out this lovely lady doing her part in this war!
http://mfile.akamai.com/21772/wmv/gannett.download.akamai.com/
21772/streaming/wmv/hancockportraits.asx

Oregon Coast Aquarium  Neat Bluegrass banjo music

http://www.aquarium.org/

 

Slang in the 30's

http://www.paper-dragon.com/1939/slang.html

 

Guide to Unusual Hotels around the world.

 http://www.unusualhotelsoftheworld.com/

 

Game Ocean Express

Tetris with a twist. Fill the cargo ships with shapes.

http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=378

**** ON THIS DAY ****

9/12/2007

7-Year-Old Guest Columnist Chats With IndyCar Driver

By: Catalin Varela and Kristin Varela

If there’s such a thing as a family-friendly racetrack, the Chicagoland Speedway is it. Convenient parking, wide-open grassy areas for picnicking and playing, and the polite and well-mannered (read: generally fully clothed and not sloppy drunk) Midwestern fans contributed to my picking the Chicagoland Indy 300 as the first race to take my daughter to.

My last experience covering a race for Mother Proof was back in May at the Indy 500. There, despite my most valiant efforts, I wasn’t able to secure an interview with any of the drivers. Apparently they were busy driving or something (the injustice of it all). This time, I decided to use a different, rather shameless tactic: A cute kid to do my dirty work for me. Sue me. Enter 7-year-old Catalin Varela, Mother Proof’s first guest columnist. Before the race, Catalin landed an email interview with IndyCar driver Sarah Fisher. Here’s how it went:

Dear Miss Sarah,

My name is Catalin (it rhymes with “jumping bean” and “giggle machine”). I am 7 years old and in second grade. I would like to do an interview with you. I hope you win the race on Sept. 9. I will be there with my mom watching. Can you please answer my questions below?

SF: Stop by and see us at the autograph session!

CV: What color is your racecar and what is your favorite color?

SF: My race car is red, white and blue, sort of like the colors for the Fourth of July. My favorite color is blue, much like the color of my first IndyCar.

CV: How young were you when you started driving racecars?

SF: My first technical racing experience came as a 5-year-old, when my parents fitted me for my first racecar — a quarter-midget. I raced quarter-midgets and go-karts until I was a teenager, progressing through the ranks. All of this experience prepared me to go 230 mph in the IndyCar Series.

CV: Is it freaky driving that fast?

SF: You really don’t think about how fast you are going. You have to stay focused on driving the car and reaching the finish line first. But sometimes I tell people it’s windy.

CV: Have you ever crashed your car?

SF: I have crashed several times. In racing, every time you crash you learn something. As a driver, you are always trying to push the envelope, and when you crash you learn from it for the next time. My worst crash was at Nazareth Speedway a few years ago.

CV: Is your racecar difficult to drive?

SF: It takes a lot of training to drive a racecar — especially on a road course. You have to be both physically and mentally fit. I train every day at home with PitFit, my trainer, and we do numerous types of workouts. Cardio interval training is important to simulate yellows and stop-and-gos. Upper-body strength is also important, so we work on that, too. We take what I learn from the season, as well, and fine-tune those small muscles that need help on the go. During races, I’m going 220 mph for 2.5 hours and must be able to keep my heart rate up to compete and win. By race’s end, I will have lost between four and seven pounds and must rehydrate to do it again the next weekend.

CV: Thank you for letting me send you an email.

SF: Thanks for your questions. They were very good.

Sincerely,
Catalin

Spending a weekend in Chicago with my daughter, bonding over a race (I know it sounds odd, but seriously, you should try it), was really quite magical. Generally speaking, there are three separate facets of my world that very rarely intersect: my professional life, my family life and my social life. This weekend, all three combined blissfully together. I was able to share some of my work experience with my daughter and see several special friends and colleagues who make far too infrequent appearances in my life.

Despite our unrelenting cheering over the sound of her car zipping by at more than 200 mph, Sarah didn’t win the race, though she did finish 12th. The highlight of race weekend for Catalin was having ”Miss Sarah” autograph her Bratz Racecar Driver doll. Come to think of it, the real highlight was probably me lifting my Bratz ban and buying the racecar driver doll in the first place (my excuse is that it’s OK because she’s not wearing stilettos and fishnets). It had nothing to do with the fact that I wanted the doll for myself. Really, it didn’t.

• Posted on September 12, 2007
• On the Scene
• Permalink
• Comments (1)

Comments

Congrats Catalin. I enjoyed reading your interview and I especially liked your question about the freakiness of going so fast. Good job landing the interview, the autograph and the Bratz Doll!
 

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

14-

Billy Hughes, fiddler/songwriter, born Sallisaw, OK 1908.

Mae Axton, songwriter, born 1914.

Malcolm Yelvington, SUN Records recording artist, born Covington, TX 1918.

Don Walser, singer/songwriter, born Brownfield, TX 1934.

Bill Harrell, Bluegrass singer/multi-instrumentalist, born Marion, VA 1934.

Hank Williams auditioned for Fred Rose in Nashville, 1946.

Vernon Dalhart country music's first million-selling recording artist, died Bridgeport, CT 1948.

John Berry born Aiken, SC 1959.

Ray Charles' single "Busted" charted 1963.

John Wayne Hill, singer/songwriter/guitarist/fiddler, born 1964.

Merle Haggard sang "Mama Tried," on American Bandstand, 1968.

Johnny Lee's "Lookin' For Love" topped the charts 1980.

Suzy Bogguss' "Aces," album certified gold 1992.

Shania Twain walked away with six awards, from the CCMA awards show in 1998. Included in the honors were the Female Vocalist Of The Year, and the Fans Choice Award.

Rounder Records released John Hartford's album "Good Ole Boys" 1999.

Renaissance released Lynn Anderson's "Anthology: The Columbia Years" 1999.

Brooks & Dunn released their album "Tight Rope" on Arista 1999.

Eddie Stoneman, age 81, of the Stoneman Family died 2001.

Diamond Rio's #1 country hit "Beautiful Mess" debuted on Billboard's Top 40 chart 2002.

Sotheby's auction house in New York City opened their two-day auction of Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash's estate 2004.

-15-

Roy Acuff, "The King of Country Music," born Maynardville, TN 1903. Mr. Acuff was personally

responsible for keeping the Grand Ole Opry "Country," until the day WSM and the Opry was sold.

Roy became the first living artist, to be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame 1962.

Wayne Raney's "Why Don't You Haul Off And Love Me" topped the charts 1949.

Jerry Lee Lewis married his second wife, Jane Mitcham, age 17, prior to divorcing his first wife,

Dorothy Barton, 1954.

Patsy Cline and Charlie Dick married in Winchester, VA 1957.

Johnny Cash released "What Do I Care," 1958.

Brenda Lee released "All Alone Am I," on Decca 1962.

Marty Robbins released "One Of These Days/Up In The Air" 1964.

Alexander Arzamastev of Bering Strait, drummer, born in Russia 1973.

Alabama's "Feels So Right," album was certified platinum 1981.

Reba McEntire was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame 1998.

Smithsonian Folkways released Dick Boggs' double-CD 50 song-set "His Folkway Years (1963-1968)" in 1998.

Recall Records released Johnny Cash's "Essential Sun Collection" 1999.

The Nashville Songwriters Hall Of Fame inducted Tommy Collins, Wayne Kemp, A. L. "Doodle" Owens and Glenn Sutton 1999.

Wynonna debuted on the Grand Ole Opry 2001.

Johnny Cash's funeral was held at the First Baptist Church, Hendersonville, TN 2003.

Deana Carter gave birth to a baby boy in Los Angeles in 2004. Chris Hicky, is the child's father.

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Outlaws' Guitarist Dies at 55


(Nashville, TENN -- September 12th, 2007) Hughie Thomasson, a founding member of the legendary Southern Rock band The Outlaws, passed away at his home in Brooksville, Florida late Sunday evening.? Thomasson, 55, died of a heart attack in his sleep.? ?

Thomasson was a teenager when he joined? The Outlaws in the late 1960s.? The band was signed by Arista Records and released 12 albums including The Outlaws (1975), Bring It Back Alive (1977) and Ghost Riders in the Sky (1980).

When The Outlaws disbanded, Thomasson joined Lynryd Skynyrd.? He toured and recorded with the band for nine years until 2005, when he reformed The Outlaws.

In October 2006, the group performed a benefit concert at the Performing Arts Center at Pasco-Hernando Community College that established a scholarship endowment for PHCC students in The Outlaws' name.? ? The Outlaws recently toured the United States with The Charlie Daniels Band and The Marshall Tucker Band. They also played a festival in Amsterdam with Aerosmith, Scorpions and Tesla.

The Outlaws have completed a new album,? Once an Outlaw, which has not yet been released.? ?

A private memorial service for family only? is scheduled in honor of Thomasson.? A public memorial service will take place on a date yet to be determined.

Members of the press may resource www.outlawsmusic.com/press for more info and photos
 
Possum surprised with star-studded birthday party

By BEVERLY KEEL


George Jones thought he was about to enjoy an early-bird dinner Wednesday but instead walked into a 250-person surprise party at Logan's Roadhouse restaurant in Franklin.

"It's the biggest surprise I've ever had," the 76-year-old birthday boy told me. "I'm almost speechless.

"Sometimes you stray and don't realize how much the friends and people in the music business might care. It's so great to see so many faces."

His wife, Nancy, and Ronnie Gilley Properties threw the party, which had a guest list that included Jimmy Dickens, Joe Diffie, Two Foot Fred, Tracy Lawrence, Buddy Jewell, Mark Chesnutt, Tom T. and Dixie Hall and Oak Ridge Boys' Duane Allen, Joe Bonsall and Richard Sterban. Naomi Judd stopped by before doing an interview about Britney Spears on Hannity & Colmes.

Sonny James reflected on a friendship that started in the early 1950s. "Sometimes he would ride with me. This was before we had buses. We had a lot of fun."

Another longtime friend, producer Billy Sherrill, wasn't so sentimental, joking that he was only there because his wife forced him. This was about the time she playfully put her hand over his mouth.

Trace Adkins didn't expect such a big production. "I thought it was just going to be surprise, happy birthday and eat steak," he said. "I love George and Nancy and wanted to be here."

Dierks Bentley gave a thumbs-up to the party location. "It's so typical of George and Nancy to have their party at Logan's. They are so down to earth. They are regular folks and good folks. It's a perfect place for this to be happening."

Odds on Chesney beating 50

After much hype, Kanye West and 50 Cent released their new albums Tuesday, as did Kenny Chesney.

Kanye and 50 have created quite a buzz with their talk of who would sell more (50 has threatened to retire if West outsells him), and then Kenny jumped into the mix when he said that he could win the week's top sales spot.

BetUS.com, an online sports betting entertainment Web site, offers the following odds this week:

Kanye will sell more this week: 2/1;

50 will sell more in the first week: 1/3

50 retires after Kanye outsells him: 15/1.

"This is the next generation's Biggie versus Tupac," said BetUS.com's Reed Richards. "Not only will the music be amazing, but the anticipation this 'feud' has created is incredible."

But let's not forget about Kenny:

Kenny will sell half of Kanye's this week: 5/1

Kenny will sell double Kanye's: 100/1

Kenny will sell one-third of Kanye's: 2/1

Kenny will sell half of 50's: 6/1

Kenny will sell one-third of 50's: 6/1

Kenny will sell double 50's: 500/1.

Lonestar reveals its new lead singer

On Wednesday, Lonestar unveiled its new lead singer, Cody Collins, who was hired after Richie McDonald left to pursue a solo career.

In November, the group will release a new Christmas CD, My Christmas List, that will be available only at Cracker Barrel Old Country Stores.

Lonestar's Dean Sams heard Cody singing at an Atlanta club. "When we got the news about Richie, I knew he was one of the first people we had to get in touch with," Dean said. "I showed Michael (Britt) and Keech (Rainwater) his MySpace page and let them hear his voice and see what he looked like. He became our instant front-runner. After he came to town and sang for us, we knew he was the guy."



**** Amy's Kitchen ****  

One-More-Bite Bread Pudding from Dessert Du Jour

4  cups dried home-style bread or French bread cubes
2   eggs
1-1/3  cups milk
1/3  cup sugar
1  tablespoon butter, melted
1  tablespoon vanilla
1/8  teaspoon ground nutmeg
   Whiskey River Sauce
1/3  cup seedless raspberry jam or preserves


1. Lightly grease 2 8x4x2-inch loaf pans. Place 2 cups of bread cubes in
each loaf pan and set pans aside. 
2. In a medium mixing bowl, use a rotary beater to beat together the
eggs, milk, sugar, butter, vanilla and nutmeg. Pour half of he egg
mixture over each pan of bread. Let the mixture stand for 15 minutes
before baking. 
3. Bake in a 350 degree F. oven for 15 to 20 minutes or till a knife
inserted off center comes out clean. Cool in pans on a wire rack for 10
minutes. 
4. While bread pudding bakes, prepare Whiskey River Sauce. 
5. Remove 1 of the bread puddings from loaf pan. Place bread pudding
loaf onto a cutting board. Spread jam evenly over top of the loaf. Top
with the remaining loaf. Cut into 6 slices. Place 1 slice on each
serving plate. Serve bread pudding with Whiskey River Sauce.

 

Makes 6 servings. 

Whiskey River Sauce:In a medium saucepan, stir together one 14-ounce can
sweetened condensed milk, 1 cup powdered sugar, and 1/4 to 1/2 cup
whiskey or 1/2 cup orange juice. Add 1/2 cup butter, cut up. Cook and
stir the mixture over medium heat till butter melts. Don't boil. Use
about half of the sauce for the bread pudding. Cover and chill remaining
sauce. Reheat the sauce and serve over pound cake or angel food cake, if
you like. Makes about 2 cups. 

Nutrition facts per serving: calories: 468 total fat: 17g cholesterol: 113mg
sodium: 377mg carbohydrate: 67g fiber: 1g protein: 9g

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Is the mountain on the Paramount Pictures logo real?

The mountain depicted on the Paramount Pictures logo isn't real. But we wondered if perhaps it was inspired by a particular peak. This question has sparked spirited debate on the message boards of several mountain climbing sites. This fascinating Network 54 posting claims to have the answer.

William Wadsworth Hodkinson, the man who started Paramount and came up with the logo, originally hailed from Ogden, Utah. Lynn Arave, the poster on the message board, also grew up in Ogden and believes Hodkinson's inspiration was Ben Lomond Peak, a 9,712-foot mountain that dominates the northern skyline. This certainly seems possible. According to Leslie Halliwell's biography "Mountain of Dreams," Hodkinson's logo was "a memory of childhood in his home state of Utah."

We found several beautiful pictures of Ben Lomond Peak. While not quite as vertically inclined as the current logo, the peak does bear a closer resemblance to the studio's logo. Check out the links in our Paramount Pictures category for more.



****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Ignore those who say it can't be done.

LAST CALL Y'ALL

I was lying in my hospital bed on the third day after an accident when my eight-year-old granddaughter, Andrea, arrived with her mom. Andrea looked in awe at the wrist-to-shoulder cast on my left arm, then asked to see the rest of the damage. I showed her my broken right ankle, which wasn't in a cast yet; my left leg, bruised knee to thigh; and, pushing back my bangs, a raw bump the size of an egg above my eyebrow. Her blue eyes wide, Andrea asked earnestly, "Gamy, can I take you to school tomorrow for show and tell?"

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
In God I trust. All others we polygraph
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Hey, Let's be careful out there
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PLEASE
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