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Subject: The Daily Funnies - September19, 2007



 

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From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.

Welcome to T
he Funnies
est.7-4-2000

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These  are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for  younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair almost anything.


Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all

Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help Them

Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.



WEDNESDAY  SEPTEMBER 19,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "You may not be able to change the entire world, but touch one soul and change their world forever." --Bob Perks
~
.

I was in the waiting room of my doc Taz office the other day when
the doc started yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!"
I went up to nurse Rhonda and asked her what was going on.
She told me that the doc just liked to call the shots around here
once in a while.
~~~~~~~~~~
A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its
toll in added pounds - and girth - was being shown a
Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership.

When the salesman's pitch had run its course, he
sought to close with the typical line, "Now what would
it take to get you into one of these?"

Looking at the Jeep's high front seat, the woman
replied, "Probably a crowbar."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Searching through row upon row of Christmas trees, my husband
Norm and I picked one we liked. Then I noticed the one being
held by a woman nearby "the" perfect tree. I watched as she
carried it around the lot and couldn't believe my eyes when
she set it aside.

I ditched ours and ran over to grab the coveted tree. "Aren't
we lucky?" I said to Norm. "I do feel a little guilty, though,
for taking it before she could change her mind."

"Don't worry," he replied. "She just ran over and snatched
ours."
~~~~~~~~~~
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we ask that you stay seated with your seat
belt fastened until the plane comes to a complete stop at the gate
and the captain has turned off the seatbelt sign. By the way,
I've seen the captain's car and regard this as excellent advice."
~~~~~~~~~~~
A duck walks into a bar and orders a bottle of beer and a ham
sandwich.
The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck".
"I see your eyes are working" replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.
"I see your ears are working" says the duck. "Now can I have my
beer and my sandwich please?". "Certainly," says the
bartender, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in
this bar. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the street" explains the
duck.

So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.

This continues for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the
circus comes into the bar and the bartender says to him;
"You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would
be just brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks
beer and everything!"
"Sounds marvellous" says the ringleader, "get him to give me a
call."

So the next day, the duck comes into the bar.
The bartender says, "Hey Mister Duck, I reckon I can line you up
with a top job. Paying really good money!"

"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus" says the bartender.

"The circus?" the duck enquires.

"That's right" replies the bartender.

"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals?
With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle" asks the
duck.

"That's right!" says the bartender.

The duck looks confused.

"What the heck do they want with a plasterer?"
~~~~~~~~~
I'll be 45 in July and so far every barber / hair stylist I've ever
been to has marveled at how thick and how much hair I've
got. It's about 60% gray, but, at least I've got it.

Unlike my friend Mark whom I saw the other day. Seems like
every week he gets closer and closer to looking like a cue ball.
When I saw him I said, "Hey, Mark, I think you should quit
denying it, sport. You're going bald."

He bristled and replied, "I'm NOT 'going bald.' I'm getting
'more head.'"
~~~~~~~~~~
"Remember that as a teenager you are in the last
stage of your life in which you will be happy to hear
that the phone is for you." ~~-- Fran Lebowitz
~~~~~~~~~
Surprise
It's 1875 and a Mormon couple moved to Cache Valley
Utah. They set up a farm in Rural Providence, Utah, and were self
sufficient for a couple of years. By the third year, the husband
decided to take a second wife, as Mormons of the time did.
His wife was not too keen on the idea, so he convinced a Swedish
neighbor(Mr. Olson) to help in a plan to convince her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Let us go to the barn, and pray for guidance on this major
decision", said the husband. Whatever God tells us, that's what
we'll do". They went to the barn, got on their knees, and old
farmer Madsen started with the usual openings to Mormon prayers.
After a few minutes of this, he posed the question:
"Heavenly Father, should I take another wife?"

Farmer Olson was in the rafters, as previously arranged, and in
the most booming, deep voice he could muster, said: "Brother
Madsen, I command thee to take another wife". After a moment,
farmer Madsen looked over to his wife, and saw that she was
sobbing uncontrollably. He put his arm around her, and said,
"There there, a second wife will be an addition to the
family, but she will never be a replacement for you. I'll still
love you just as much."

Mrs. Madsen said "I have no problem with you taking a second wife,
I've been resigned to that for a year now. But in my worst
nightmare, I *never* imagined that God was a Swede!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Men are simple things.
They can survive a whole weekend with
only four things:
beer, boxer shorts, remote
and their "working" computer...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At our commencement breakfast, two student speakers delivered a
list of "Top Ten Things We Will Always Remember."

When one of them said, "555-7272." all the students laughed.

Sitting near me, one parent whispered to his son, "What's that--the
computer help-desk number?"

"No, Dad," said the student. "It's the phone number for Papa John's
Pizza."
~~~~~~~
Mornin', my little Trial Lawyer,

One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called
to testify. A severe no nonsense professional, she
sat down in the witness chair unaware that it's rear
legs were set precariously on the back of the raised
platform.

"Will you state your name?" asked the district attorney.

Tilting back in her chair she opened her mouth to answer,
but instead catapulted head-over-heels backward and
landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment.

Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated
herself, rearranged her dishevelled dress and hair and
was reseated on the witness stand. The glare she
directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk.

"Well, doctor," continued the district attorney without
changing expression, "we could start with an easier
question."
~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Mary and Joseph took
Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, "Because,
they couldn't get a babysitter."
~~~~~~~~~
"Hello, you have reached an office that thought it was
so smart getting all it's employees cordless phones.
The person you are trying to reach is here right now,
staring at me as I answer this call and searching
desperately for their cordless phone in the
mess on their desk. It won't matter if they find it
since they didn't leave it on the charger last night
and the battery is dead. So you might as well leave a
message with me and I'll have them call you after the
4 hour handset recharge period is completed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If ya don't wanta know......
The company president called a meeting of the entire
office staff.

When all had assembled and come to order, he opened
with, "Is there any new business?"

The vice-president sobbed, "My wife is leaving me for
my former best friend."

The office manager wailed, "My husband took all our
money and ran off with the baby sitter!"

The personnel director cried, "I'm going to have to
file bankruptcy!"

An office clerk moaned, "My wife wants to have a
seventh baby!"

The company president rolled his eyes and said, "What
I MEANT was, 'Is there any new business concerning
THIS business!'"
~~~~~~~~~
Words To live By
Don't name a pig you plan to eat.

Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight and bull strong

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well
you bounce

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance

Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps

Mortgaging a future crop is like saddling a wobbly colt

A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor

Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked

Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles

Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled

Meanness don't happen overnight

To know how country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their
houses

Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it just ain't helpful

Teachers, bankers, and hoot owls sleep with one eye open

Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads

Don't sell your mule to buy a plow

Two can live as cheap as one if one don't eat

Don't corner something meaner than you

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, assuming you want to
catch flies

Man is the only critter who feels the need to label things as flowers or
weeds

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge

Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug

You can't unsay a cruel thing

Every path has some puddles

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty

The best sermons are lived, not preached

Most of the stuff people worry about never happens

Lazy and Quarrelsome are ugly sisters
~~~~~~~~~~
This is a nice version of a joke
Cinderella
Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the
now-deceased Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching
the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for
companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother.
Cinderella asked with surprise, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing
here after all these years?"

The Fairy Godmother replied, "Well, Cinderella, since you've lived a
good, wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you
three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration and
almost under her breath she uttered her first wish:

"I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension."

Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold.

Cinderella was stunned. Alan, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap
and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear.

Cinderella said, "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother!"

The Fairy Godmother replied, "It's the least I can do. What does your
heart wish for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young
and full of the beauty of youth again."

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage
returned.

Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years,
and long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her very
soul.

Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke. "You have one more wish, what
will you have?" Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the
corner and said, "I wish you to transform Alan my old cat into a
handsome young man."

Magically, Alan suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his
biological make-up, that when complete, he stood before her, a young
man, handsome beyond belief, well-dressed and well-mannered.

The Fairy Godmother again spoke, "Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy
your new life." And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity,
she was gone.

For a few eerie moments, Alan and Cinderella looked into each other's
eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect
man she had ever seen.

Then Alan walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking
chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.

He leaned in close to her ear, whispered, blowing her golden hair with
his warm breath, "I bet you regret having me neutered now, don't you?
~~~~~~
10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is
Maybe A Little Slow

1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code

2. Graphics arrive via FedEx

3. You believe a heavier string might improve your
connection

4. You post a message to your favorite newsgroup
and it displays a week later

5. Your credit card expires while ordering online

6. ESPN Web site exhibits "Heisman Trophy Winner"
...for 1989

7. You're still in the middle of downloading that
popular new game, "PacMan"

8. Everyone you talk to on the 'net phone' sounds
like Forrest Gump

9. You receive e-mails with stamps on them

10. When you click the "Send" button, a little door
opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon
flies out.

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**** Reader's Submissions ****

 

**** TODAYS LINKS ****

 This National Geography site explores the art of map making.
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/features/2000/exploration/projections/
 
Here's the LIFE magazine list of the 100 people who made
the Millennium, ranked in order of importance. Let the
debates begin!
http://www.life.com/Life/millennium/people/01.html
 
 
WordWeb: Free thesaurus dictionary download
http://wordweb.info/free/
 
Game Bowling

**** ON THIS DAY ****


**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American Heart Association web site on physical activity for women

and men. Features include health facts, practical tips, fitness news, a
personal trainer, user forums and event calendar.
http://www.heart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3040778
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to
abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!

 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There's only one way to have a happy marriage, and as
soon as I learn what it is, I'll get married again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before you open your mouth to speak, please make sure it's an
improvement upon the silence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@joink.com
     subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-17-

Hank Williams born "King Hiram Williams," in a log cabin in Mount Olive, AL 1923. Hank became

the third person to be elected to the Country Music Hall Of Fame 1961.

Bill Black born Memphis, TN 1926.

RCA debuted their first 33 1/3-rpm Long Play (LP) record in 1931.

Lefty Frizzell's "Always Late (With Your Kisses)" topped the charts 1951.

Steve Sanders, "Oak Ridge Boys," born Richland, GA 1952.

Johnny Cash debuted on British television 1959.

Loretta Lynn's debut appearance at the Grand Ole Opry, 1960.

David Houston's "My Elusive Dream" was #1 in 1967.

Reba McEntire debuted on the Grand Ole Opry 1977.

Debbie Boone's #1 single "You Light Up My Life" debuted on Billboard's Top 40 Chart 1977.

Anne Murray released her single "A Little Good News." 1983. The song went to #1, and was voted CMA Single of the Year.

Kenny "Rudy" Trietsch, age 84, "Hoosier Hot Shots," died 1987.

RCA Records released Alabama's album "Alabama Christmas, Vol. 2, 1996.

Capitol Nashville released John Berry's album "Faces" 1996.

The CMHF displayed a new bronze statue of Hank Williams Sr. on the 75th anniversary of the singers birth in 1998. Hank Williams III, Hank's grandson, was the model that posed for the artist.

Varese released Johnny Bond's "The Home Recordings" 2002.

Capitol released Suzy Bogguss's "20 Greatest Hits" 2002.

Darryl Worley's third annual Tennessee River Run, was held in Pickwick Landing State Park 2004. The event raises money for local charities. John Conlee, Andy Griggs and John Conlee also appeared on the show.

-18-

Ervin Rouse, singer/songwriter/fiddler, with the "Rouse Brothers" born Craven County, NC 1917.

Priscilla Mitchell born in Georgia 1941.

Tennessee Ernie Ford married Betty Jean Heminger 1942.

Steve Fishell, producer/musician, born Oak Harbor, WA 1953.

Carl Jackson, singer/songwriter/banjo/guitar, born Louisville, MS 1953.

Little Jimmy Dickens released "Blacked Joe's," 1954.

Brenda Lee released "Fool #1," in 1961.

Connie Smith joined the Grand Ole Opry 1965.

Merle Haggard recorded "Sing Me Back Home," 1967.

Marty Robbins released "Buenos Dias Argentina/Ballad Of A Small Man" 1979.

Jeff Foxworthy married wife Gregg, in New York City's Central Park 1985.

Farm Aid VII was played in New Orleans 1994.

Tim McGraw's CD "Live Like You Were Dying" topped the charts 2004.

The annual Farm Aid concert was held in Auburn, WA 2004.

Jennifer Hanson served as a judge at the Miss America Pageant in Atlantic City, NJ 2004. Jennifer competed in the Pageant in 1994 as Miss California.

-19-

Clyde Moody, bluegrass singer, born Cherokee, NC 1915.

Danny Dill born Carroll County, TN 1924.

Carlton L. Haney, promoter/booking agent, born Rockingham County, NC 1928.

Billy Deaton born Slaughter, MS 1935.

Dewayne Smith "The Geezinslaws," born Bertram, TX 1946.

The "WRVA Old Dominion Barn Dance," debuted Richmond, VA 1946.

Jack Herrick, of the "Red Clay Ramblers" born Teaneck, NJ 1947.

Carl Smith and Goldie Hill married 1957.

Elvis Presley transferred to Germany, by the U.S. Army 1958.

Marty Robbins released "Battle Of The Alamo/A Time And Place For Everything" 1960.

Trisha Yearwood born Monticello, GA 1964.

Red Foley died on tour in Fort Wayne, IN, shortly after singing "Peace In The Valley," to close the show in 1968. Inducted CMHF 1967.

Gram Parsons died in Joshua Tree, CA 1973, from a drug overdose. A few days later, Gram's manager "Phil Coffman," stole the body from the local airport. The body was driven to Joshua Tree National Park by Coffman, soaked in gasoline, and cremated on the ground. Coffman was arrested, and paid a $300.00 misdemeanor fine, for the theft of the casket.

Lee Greenwood debuted on the charts with "It Turns Me Inside Out" 1981.

John Denver testified before a Senate hearing committee in regard to pornography in music 1985.

Tommy Collins, A. L. "Doodle" Owens, Wayne Kemp, and Glenn Sutton, inducted NSHF 1999.

The Nashville Network, TNN, owned and operated by the Gaylord group, announced they were leaving country music, and changed their name to The National Network in 2000.

Mercury Nashville released Terri Clark's album "Fearless" 2000.

Slim Dusty, "David Gordon Kirkpatrick," age 76, died in Sydney Australia 2003.

A private plane carrying the Dixie Chicks, hit a building at a Scotland airport 2003. No injuries were reported. The Dixie Chicks were an all girl band from Texas, until getting involved in politics in 2004.

The Tim McGraw concert scheduled in Rayville, LA was cancelled due to Hurricane Ivan 2004.




 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
Taylor Swift joins Tennessee fight against online predators
Monday, September 17, 2007 – Taylor Swift and Tennessee Gov. Governor Phil Bredesen joined the Tennessee Association of Chiefs of Police (TACP) today to launch "Delete Online Predators," a new statewide public education campaign designed to combat internet crimes against children.
The yearlong campaign, drawing on research-based messages developed by organizations including the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), will distribute Internet safety information and materials to parents and middle school students across the Volunteer State. 
 
Bredesen and Swift have agreed to serve as spokespersons for the Delete Online Predators campaign in brochures and other materials, on the web and in radio and TV public service announcements to be released in the coming months. 
 
Swift said, "Chatting with friends and surfing the internet is cool. But it's important to stay safe. Be smart about keeping your identity private online."
 

Reba trades her big hair for blue jeans
At 52, country superstar says she's finally happy to just be herself

By BEVERLY KEEL
Staff Writer


Reba McEntire is conducting business today at her impressive Starstruck Entertainment building on Music Row, but she is dressed in her stage wear.

But instead of a sparkly gown, she wears a pair of jeans and a trendy blue V-neck. This is Reba McEntire 2007.




After living largely in Los Angeles for the past six years to shoot the WB/CW sitcom Reba, McEntire returned to her home in Sumner County after the show was cancelled late last year.

Instead of going Hollywood, McEntire returned to her roots. Gone is the over-the-top image created by her big hair and big production shows featuring numerous costume changes.

It was obviously an image that worked. McEntire has sold 38 million albums, recorded 33 No. 1 hits and collected two Grammys. She's won seven Country Music Association awards, including a record-tying (with Martina McBride) four trophies in the female vocalist category.

"I used to sit in the audience of the CMAs and just wait for the moment when she would walk out onstage in her big gown and big hair, and you knew you were watching a superstar," McBride says. "Her command of the stage is something I strive to have."

But about five years ago, McEntire ditched the cumbersome outfits and costume changes to be more comfortable onstage. More important, she wanted to have more time to talk to her audience. "Because of the Reba TV show, I was a character that people fell in love with because she was a normal person," she says.

In the past, onstage she played the characters in the songs — "I was never Reba until I talked." But now, she says, "I can play Reba and sing the song with my heart."

"I love being 52. I get to be me now, and I don't have to please anybody. I please myself first, and I love myself first. Because if I can love me, I am more open to everybody accepting me the way I am, and I don't have to pretend."

The flashy big-haired image wasn't really who she was, she says, but a stylist's idea of what she should look like.

"I went for it because I had no taste. I grew up with hand-me-downs all my life. I had no idea what I was wanting to wear."

Much like a teen leaving home for college, McEntire left country music to find her own voice. Despite her reputation for being assertive and no-nonsense, McEntire was a people pleaser, she said.

"I would never take a drink of beer onstage," she says. "I would never sing a song that had beer or whiskey in it. I would never say anything off-color in an interview. Every decision I made, I ran through people that I was trying to make sure I would please.

"Now I go on my own gut feeling that that's the right thing to do if I want to do it. Because it is honest; it is me."

In 2001, McEntire landed the lead role in Annie Get Your Gun on Broadway and quickly earned rave reviews as well as Drama Desk and Outer Critics awards. Practicing and performing eight shows a week gave McEntire a newfound sense of self that reverberated in every aspect of her career.

"That gave me the confidence to go into the next acting job that I got, which was the Reba TV show."

Adjusting to life in L.A.

In the fall of 2001, her family moved to Los Angeles, a transition that was difficult for her son, Shelby, now 17.

"He had a rough time in school," she says. "He was a hick from the sticks. It was very hard on him, and he put up a front saying, 'Everything is fine, everything is fine.' It was not fine. That is probably the second hardest thing that I've had to deal with in my life, seeing the torture he went through."

(The hardest time occurred in 1991, when seven of her band members and road manager were killed in a plane crash in California.)

McEntire and her husband, Narvel Blackstock, addressed Shelby's unhappiness through "lots of family talking . . . being as honest as possible." She says, "It took him years to really like L.A. as much as Tennessee." It helped that the sitcom's regular schedule allowed them to have the best family life of her career.

After the show's first season, McEntire took her first summer off from touring in more than 15 years.

"Doing Annie Get Your Gun empowered me to know that I really had worked hard," she says. "I did my tour and I took care of the music. I took care of Broadway; I took care of television. Now it is time to take care of Reba. It gave me the balls to stand up for myself."

McEntire, who says she hadn't been good at taking care of herself before this, discovered that she enjoyed playing games, vacationing and spending time with friends.

"I am not a person to sit idle," she says. "I've got to be doing something. I can take a closet apart and put it back together, but that is good mental therapy for me."

Happy to be in the Top 5

McEntire is releasing her new album, Reba Duets, on Tuesday and will tour next year.

She is in talks to find another TV show because she would love to be in another sitcom next fall. She also recently added shoe and bath lines to her ever-expanding collections of bedding and clothing.

McEntire was thrilled with the recent news that she had been nominated for two Country Music Association awards, including female vocalist.

"When Kenny Rogers and I were doing the Gambler 5 movie, he said, 'You know, Reba, I don't have to be No. 1, but I do like running with the Top 5,' " she says. "That's how I feel being nominated for the CMA female vocalist of the year again."

But the honor was bittersweet because her good friend Faith Hill was not included in that category. "Faith should have been in there. That wasn't right," McEntire says.

Before McEntire's first female vocalist win in 1984, she was walking onstage when Emmylou Harris said to her, "Good luck, Reba." She replied, "Oh, Emmylou, good luck to you, too." Harris said, "No, good luck to you. I've had my time. This is your time."

"That's how I feel about it: I've had my day," McEntire says. "Running with the Top 5 is great. I don't have to be No. 1. . . . It's those other girls, these very talented, very successful, beautiful women."




**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Are there any one-eyed animals?

There are no mammals, birds, reptiles or amphibians that
naturally have only one eye. Flatfish like the flounder, commonly
thought of as having only one eye, In fact have two; one migrates
to join the other on the right or left side.

However, there are several orders of one-eyed animals among the
invertebrates. Among them are some "water fleas," which are
actually crustaceans.

Another one-eyed crustacean, appropriately named the cyclops,
is a common inhabitant of pond scum in stagnant bodies of water.
It has compound eyes like those of the fly, but only one per
customer.






****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
According to historians women used cosmetics in the Middle Ages...
and today women are using cosmetics in the middle ages, too.



LAST CALL Y'ALL


HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
In God I trust. All others we polygraph
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
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