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Subject: The Daily Funnies - October02, 2007




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TUESDAY OCTOBER 2,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Political speeches are like steer horns...
A point here, a point there, with a lot of bull in between.


My children, who had forgotten to shop for my birthday, presented me with a homemade card. The contrite message read: "We know you deserve the very best, Mom. But we're glad you kept us anyway." It is a card I will never throw away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even MORE You Might Be A Redneck If...
...All of your dental visits are emergencies.

..."Pass the buck" means you want seconds.

...You think "Prime Real Estate" is the chair next
to the space heater.

...You can play "The Star-Spangled Banner" on your
turkey call.

...You've ever worn suit pants without a shirt.

...You can't remember what name you used on your
marriage license.

...One of the blankets on your bed says "Property Of
U-Haul."

...You clean your house with a water hose.

...You sew the legs back on to your jeans at the end
of the summer.

...One of your fantasies involves a bulldozer.

...Most of the major decisions in your life were
made with the help of a Magic 8 Ball.

...You're smoking in your driver's license photo.

...One of your relatives had his CB handle in his
obituary.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When my parents and I moved to our new house, I chose to make the basement my "apartment." I had just started a full-time job and most of my waking hours were spent working, going out with friends, and relaxing in my basement solitude. After one particularly brutal day, I drove home, muttered hello to my mother and went downstairs to unwind. It never occurred to me that I was being antisocial until, six hours later when I went to get a snack, my mother asked, "Coming up for air?" "Food," I mumbled. "Is that 'for here,' or 'to go'?" she asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady lost her handbag during a day of shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty singles."

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have change for a reward."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our son recently married a Russian woman. During the reception, Russian and American guests proposed toasts. As someone translated, my sister-in-law said, "Good health, good fortune. Go forth and multiply."

I couldn't help noticing that some of the guests looked confused.

We found out later that the toast had been translated as, "Good health, good fortune. Go and do math."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My two daughters often tease their grandfather about being stubborn, a trait he strenuously denies. One day Grandpa was telling them about a horse-pack trip he had taken up the Continental Divide. "The guides felt that the personalities of horse and rider should be compatible," he related. "They matched us up carefully." "What was your horse like?" one daughter broke in. Grandpa's answer was reluctant. "They gave me a mule," he said.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was going away for a few days and left my husband a list of chores. For fun, I put down as Item 5: Think about your wife a lot. After I returned, my husband proudly reported that he had completed every job. When I saw the list, however, each item except No. 5 had been crossed off. "What's this!" I exclaimed. "Didn't you think about me while I was gone?" My chagrin vanished when he replied cheerfully, "I started to, but just never finished."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My husband and I once lived in the Yukon with our two very boisterous small children. We were there when the territory was rocked by an earthquake in 1958. My husband was working in the basement, and watched in utter astonishment when he saw the huge wooden beams that supported the house actually moving. His immediate reaction was to yell up the stairs: "What are those two kids doing now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The seven degrees of blonde

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple was asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,

"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead and ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W.

FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

Is it mine?"

SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My aunt's neighbors were voted "Parents of the Year" by their small town. They were grandparents many times over and, in addition to their own large family, they had adopted several children of different colors and creeds. A family reunion had been organized in conjunction with the award ceremony and the entire community turned out to honor them. During a televised interview the mother was asked how many children they had raised. "None," she answered firmly. Then, looking lovingly over the front two rows of the audience, she added softly, "But we've raised 17 fine adults."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOY, THAT'S THE TRUTH
Sam: Since we met I can't eat.......I can't drink.....
Liz: Why not?

Sam: Because I'm broke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My neighbor, a primary school teacher, asked one of her pupils, an adopted child, how he felt about his mother's pregnancy.

"Wonderful," the student replied, "and this is her first baby from scratch!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I called my daughter long-distance just to say hello. She had had a particularly rough day with her two boys, then aged nine months and three years. When I asked her how she was, she replied wearily, "I don't know, Mom. I keep hoping I'm just the baby- sitter and that their parents will come home soon."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After our two sons had showered and gone to bed, my wife went into the bathroom to tidy it up. She came out shaking her head. "I just don't understand it!" she complained. "The boys can throw a basketball through a little hoop all day, but they can't hit the laundry hamper with their dirty clothes." A protesting voice was heard from our sons' bedroom. "Mom, did you ever try to dribble a pair of socks?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asks, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?"

To which he replies, "Lady, I'm in sales, not management."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked "Electronic cat and dog caller-- guaranteed to work."

I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Benny worked in the garment district. He worked hard. Very hard. He was routinely putting in fifty and sixty-hour weeks, but at a rate barely above minimum wage, survival in the city was tough.

One day he chucked it all and moved to Colorado. He took a simple job and spent all his time hiking the mountains and learning the terrain.

Eventually he learned enough local geography to earn his Guide's license -- and he began to prosper. Another racks-to-ridges story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For a number of years I worked with my Aunt Grace in the local library. Part of my responsibility was to care for the plants, but Aunt Grace was forever over watering them, or trimming them unnecessarily. One evening I was telling my husband about Aunt Grace's disastrous attentions when our daughter walked in. "What's annoying Mother?" she asked. "I think you could say," replied my husband, "that she has aunts in her plants."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the manner of all new mothers, I spent a lot of time inspecting my firstborn, and I reveled in his delicate perfection. When he was almost a month old, I noticed a curious dimple on his bottom. With each diaper change and bath I became more concerned. What if the boys in the locker room found it funny and teased him about it; or, even worse, what if some future spouse thought it to be strange? One evening I approached my husband, naked babe in arms. "Look at this," I cried, waving the small bottom about. "Do you think it'll' embarrass him when he grows up? Do you think it's strange?" My husband listened patiently to my outburst, then said, "No, I don't think it is strange, dear. I've always thought that it was pretty cute on you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When my daughter Caroline asked me if I would baby-sit for her six- month-old identical twins, I was hesitant. "How am I going to tell April from Stacey?" I asked. Caroline was busy getting ready to leave the house. "Just ask Rick," she said, nodding at her four- year-old, who was engrossed in a cartoon show on TV. "He knows." Confidently, I undressed the twins and put them in the bath. When I was ready to dress them, I called to Rick. "Which one is which?" "That's easy," he yelled back, eyes still riveted on Bugs Bunny. "April always wears blue."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cool things about having a beer belly:

You're less likely to be pestered by annoying sorority girls.

It doubles as a convenient TV tray for nachos and beer.

It's a great way to meet cute female cardiologists.

Extra gravity makes it that much less likely you'll ever be thrown free of the earth into deep space.

Your bellybutton can store up to eight quarters for the parking meter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door
bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar,
order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over
and sit down at a large table.

The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and
chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting
grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the
roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!"

Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her arm. She
walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table
erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table,
exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51
days!"

The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over
to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed children's
jigsaw puzzle. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender
asks one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration
about?"

The blonde who brought in the picture explains, "Everyone thinks that
blondes are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the
record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it
together.

"The side of the box said 2 to 4 years, but we put it together in 51
days!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young boy who had just returned home from spending
a week at a dude ranch was describing the experience
to his mother.
"I even saw the man who makes horses," exclaimed the boy.
"Are you sure?" his mom asked.
"Yeah," the boy replied, "he was almost finished when I
saw him nailing on the feet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A kindergarten teacher was trying to determine the
proper punishment for a boy who had hit a classmate.
"Did you hit Johnny on purpose or by accident?" she asked.
"By accident," the boy quickly replied.
"Do you know the difference between on purpose and
by accident?" she persisted.
"Sure! On purpose you get in a lot more trouble."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bus driver is conducting a tour of famous Civil War
battle sites. "Here," he points out at one spot, "is
where the Southern troops routed a whole regiment
of Yankees.
Over there, the Rebs wiped out a whole platoon of Yanks.
Down about a mile, there's another valley where we captured
a thousand Union soldiers."
A tourist says, "Didn't the North ever win a battle?"
"Yes, ma'am. But not while I'm driving this bus."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca

SUBSCRIBE RessyPees-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**** TODAYS LINKS ****

Not sure what the name of a song is?
Use your computer keyboard to tap the rhythm

of the song. SongTapper.com will help you find

the name of the song.

http://www.songtapper.com/

Spider - Move your mouse slowly across the screen

or fast control with your cursor

http://www.onemotion.com/cgi/flash.cgi?movie=spider&bg=FFFFFF

Trojan Horse
http://ablemedia.com/ctcweb/consortium/troy10.html

United States Holocaust Museum
http://www.ushmm.org/

Museum Of Hoaxes
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/

Flu Season
http://www.cdc.gov/flu/

Game Sokoban

Classic game of Sokoban.

http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=124


**** ON THIS DAY ****

How Much Does Patience Cost?

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,

a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at

a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?"

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his handout of his pocket and studied

a number of coins in it. "How much is a dish of plain ice

cream?" he inquired.

Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress

was a bit impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she said brusquely.

The little boy again counted the coins. "I'll have the plain

ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table

and walked away.

The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed.

When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table

and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly

beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies --her tip.

I know it's a repeat but I really like the message
~
Why do they call Boston "Beantown"?

Is it because of Boston Baked Beans?

This part is pitifully easy. Boston baked beans, right?. Now, if you wanna know why baked beans were big in Boston, it gets a little more interesting.

One answer might be "mercantilism." For those of you who slept through history in high school, this was a colonial economic policy that, among other things, discouraged foreign trade, unless it brought a favorable balance of payments for the mother country, and also discouraged colonial manufacturing of finished goods. What has this to do with baked beans, you ask? They're sweetened. The sweetener used is molasses, a product of the (British) West Indies. Relax, this will all come clear anon.

Another part of the answer is the Coriolis Effect. What's that, you slept through physics, too? Big systems on a spinning sphere, like prevailing winds, tend to form clockwise patterns in the northern half of the sphere, counterclockwise ones in the southern half. In the Northern Atlantic, not only do the winds follow this pattern, but so does the major ocean current, the Gulf Stream. That was another reason to use molasses--it was easy to ship stuff up from the Caribbean; hard to ship stuff down there, or to import directly from Europe.

The next factor was, oddly enough, slavery. You had your ship sailing from New England full of farm products. The easiest place to sail it was England; that's the way the current carried you and the winds blew. Getting back was a different story. So, ships would make their next port of call somewhere they could easily sail to where they could sell finished goods--let's say the Gold Coast in Africa. The next cargo would be slaves, who were taken to the Caribbean to raise sugar cane. Then rum or molasses were loaded for New or old England. This "triangular trade" (although it was as often actually square, with four ports of call) again made molasses the natural choice, since it fit in so well with mercantilism.

So, the exigencies of colonial trade meant Boston had an abundance of inexpensive molasses, which local entrepreneurs soon put to good use. Why beans? Same reason armies used to like them. Cheap, storable, and very easy to cook.

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent. I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American Heart Association web site on physical activity for women

and men. Features include health facts, practical tips, fitness news, a

personal trainer, user forums and event calendar.

http://www.heart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3040778
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You Know You've Been Online Too Long When...
Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know for a fact there are two
men my wife loves more than me:
Ben and Jerry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@joink.com
subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****
IRL SEASON IS OVER
**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-2-

Chubby Wise, fiddler, born Lake City, Fl 1915.

Leon Rausch, western swing vocalist, born Springfield, MO 1927.

Jo-el Sonnier born Rayne, La 1946.

Chris Ledoux born Biloxi, Ms 1948.

Sheila Biddy born Scottsville, KY 1952. Sheila was the first woman in history to run a country music record label (Decca, in 1993.)

Elvis Presley debuted on the Grand Ole Opry 1954. Jim Denny, the Opry manager told Elvis after the show, that he should go back to Memphis and resume his truck-driving career. Jim Denny was fired from the Opry two years later.

Greg Jennings, "Restless Heart," born Nicoma Park, OK 1954.

Earl Scruggs injured in car wreck 1955.

Joy Lynn White, born Turrell, AR 1961.

Tammy Sullivan of "Jerry & Tammy Sullivan" born Wagarville, AL 1964.

Gillian Welch born New York City, 1967.

Bill Anderson married Becky Stegall Davis, 1971.

Kenny Rogers married Marianne Gordon (Hee Haw Cast,) in 1977.

An attempt was made to steal Elvis Presley's body, from its burial place in Memphis 1977. The family had the bodies of Elvis, and Gladys Presley moved to Graceland, where they are buried side by side.

Marty Robbins released "An Occasional Rose/Holding On To You" 1980.

The 1991 CMA Award Show was held in Nashville, Tennessee.

Garth Brooks won four CMA awards, including Entertainer of the Year 1991.

After giving birth to her second child, Beau Grayson Tucker, Tanya Tucker watched the CMA Award Show from her hospital bed in Nashville. That's how she learned that she was the CMA's Female Vocalist of the Year in 1991.

Earl Thompson, age 77, sideman for Hank Sr., and Ernest Tubb died 1993.

Gene Autry, age 91, died Studio City, CA in 1998. Member CMHF 1969 NSHF 1970 Texas

CMHF 1998.

MCA Records released Gary Alan's album "Alright Guy" 2001.

Sony released Bela Fleck's album "Perpetual Motion" 2001.

Tim McGraw's album "Live Like You Were Dying" topped the charts 2004.

Austin City Limits taped the first show of their 30
th year on PBS in 2004.



**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Sara Evans a Single Gal Again

Natalie Finn
Fri Sep 28, 1:41 PM ET

Los Angeles (E! Online) - It's sometimes hard to remember there was a reason for all that mudslinging going on between Sara Evans and Craig Schelske.

A Tennessee judge finalized the country star's divorce from the former politico Friday, putting an end to 10 months of lurid allegations, tearful denials and other split-fueled warfare.

According to documents filed in Williamson County Chancery Court, Evans will fork over $600,000 in alimony, with the option of making annual payments of $60,000 over 10 years, and Schelske will hang on to their two homes in Oregon. The "Suds in the Bucket" songstress gets to keep the family's Nashville residence, where she and her ex used to live with their three young children.

Also embedded in the deal is an agreement that the estranged pair will put the past behind them and drop their pending accusations against each other, including Schelske's request filed earlier this month to make Evans cop to at least 11 extramarital affairs, including one with her Dancing with the Stars partner Tony Dovolani.

"The parties have agreed that it is in their best interests and those of their children to amicably resolve all issues in their pending divorce. Each wishes the other well in all future endeavors," the papers state. "Both parties are fully committed to raising their children in a cooperative and positive way. Both parties are loving and caring parents."

Evans, who filed for divorce on Oct. 12 after 13 years of marriage, was previously awarded primary custody of son Avery, 8, and daughters Olivia, 4, and Audrey, 2, with Schelske getting visitation rights.

The pair met with a custody mediator Friday to work out another arrangement, but those proceedings remained confidential.

When Evans first petitioned to end her marriage, her filing included accusations that her hubby had verbally abused her, solicited sex online, looked at porn while their kids were in the house and had committed adultery with the family's married nanny. (That last charge was later excised from the complaint after the alleged other woman, Alison Clinton, vehemently denied it.)

Schelske fired back, suing Evans' attorney for libel and saying that it was his wife who was the unstable and really, really unfaithful one. The Born to Fly artist filed for divorce the day he found out she was having an affair, he claimed.

A transcript was filed earlier this week of a recent court hearing during which Evans told Williamson County Chancery Court Judge R.E. Lee Davies (who signed off on the divorce) that Schelske was trying to ruin her career. An email from Schelske to Evans dated Aug. 20 that was introduced at that hearing and included in the filing read:

"Is it your desire to return to all out war? If it is rest assured that I am more than willing to continue. If it is then it means that the interrogatories will become public record, your affairs will become public, your mental illness will become public, etc."

But, per Friday's outcome, Evans and Schelske have agreed to let bygones be bygones.

The former spouses' attorneys stated in the court filing that their clients will have "no further comment regarding any allegations of fault or misconduct alleged by either party in these divorce proceedings."

For the record, Evans obtained her divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences.Evans is going to be on "CMT Insider" on October 6th. She'll give viewers an exclusive preview of her greatest hits CD which comes out October 9th.

I GUESS HE'LL NEED TO GET A JOB NOW


HANK THOMPSON TO BE HONORED IN WACO, TX, ON OCTOBER 8TH

Country Music Legend Hank Thompson will be honored in his hometown whenhe performs at 5:30pm on October 8th at The Heart O’ Texas Fair in Waco. Governor Rick Perry and Mayor Virginia DuPuy have declared October 8, 2007, "Hank Thompson Day" in The State of Texas and in The City of Waco.

Few country music artists can claim a longevity and track record to equal that of Hank Thompson. Between 1948 and 1974 he scored no less than twenty-nine Top Ten hits, with another nineteen in the Top Twenty, and continued to chart into the 1980s. Many of these, including "Green Light," "Whoa Sailor," and "Waiting in the Lobby of Your Heart," he penned himself, thus proving his stature in country music’s great singer-songwriter tradition. Along the way Thompson forged a potent blend of honky-tonk and western swing that has long served as a source of continuity amid country’s experimentation with rock and pop sounds.

Like many country stars, Henry William Thompson took an early interest in music, winning several amateur contests on the harmonica. After he became enthralled by cowboy movie idol Gene Autry, however, the guitar became Thompson’s instrument of choice. With a Christmas present from his parents, a four-dollar guitar bought at a secondhand store, young Hank was on his way. By the time he finished high school he was broadcasting over radio station WACO as Hank the Hired Hand, sponsored by a local flour company.

After graduating, Thompson enlisted in the U.S. Navy. While stationed in San Diego, he persuaded his superiors to let him play area clubs, and after putting out to sea, he entertained his shipmates as well. He kept on broadcasting, too, over a network of small stations organized by American military personnel in the South Pacific. While in the navy he also took advantage of training programs and studied electrical engineering at Southern Methodist University, the University of Texas, and Princeton University—making him one of country music’s better-educated stars.

Although he pondered an engineering career after his navy stint was over, radio work and his first hit record, "Whoa Sailor," kept him on a show business track. Assisted by prominent DJ Hal Horton of the 50,000-watt KRLD in Dallas, this Globe Records release became a minor regional success. Thompson also recorded four sides with the Blue Bonnet label before Tex Ritter, then a prominent star on Capitol Records, helped him gain a contract with this larger, major label. During 1948–1949 Thompson justified Ritter’s faith in him with hits such as "Humpty Dumpty Heart" (based on the children’s nursery rhyme), "Green Light," and a remake of "Whoa, Sailor."

During the 1950s Thompson’s songwriting talents, smooth baritone, precise diction, and powerful combination of western swing and honky-tonk sounds helped him continue his string of hits. The year 1952 brought his first #1 disc, "The Wild Side of Life," a song that inspired the hit that launched Kitty Wells’s career: "It Wasn’t God Who Made Honky-Tonk Angels." Subsequent Thompson chartmakers of the 1950s included "Waiting in the Lobby of Your Heart," "Rub-A-Dub-Dub," "Yesterday’s Girl," "Wake Up, Irene," "Honky Tonk Girl," "Most of All," "The Blackboard of My Heart," and "Squaws Along the Yukon," all in the Top Ten.

During these years Thompson also made inroads into television, hosting a variety show on WKY-TV in Oklahoma City from 1954 to 1957. In addition, he was one of the earliest country performers to entertain in Las Vegas showrooms, and he recorded one of country’s first live albums, Live at the Golden Nugget, there in 1960. Meanwhile, he brought his engineering knowledge to bear on his stage show and built top-flight sound and lighting systems that heightened his drawing power at the more than 250 show dates he typically played each year. Thanks to his musical and technical leadership, his Brazos Valley Boys were Billboard’s top-ranked band from 1953 to 1965, a record that has yet to be equaled.

Into the 1960s and beyond, Thompson’s easy manner made him a welcome guest on network TV variety shows, as did a dynamic stage presence magnified by his size (he stands six feet, two inches tall); a rough-hewn, handsome appearance; and custom-made western outfits for which he became famous. But following "A Six Pack to Go" (#10, 1960) and "Oklahoma Hills" (#7,1961), he didn’t make the Top Ten again until 1968’s "On Tap, in the Can, or in the Bottle" and "Smoky the Bar," both recorded early in his association with Dot Records, which he began after a brief stay at Warner Bros. in the late 1960s. Two more Top Ten hits came in 1974, but the 1970s belonged to country pop, and Thompson’s chart success dwindled to the point where he pared down his road schedule and spent more time hunting or tending to his various real-estate, broadcasting, and music publishing interests.

In the 1980s, however, as harder-edged sounds enjoyed renewed popularity, Thompson hit the road again in earnest, playing dates in Europe, Africa, Asia, and South America as well as in the United States. He also kept recording, and he signed with Nashville’s Step One Records in 1987. In 1997 Curb Records released Hank Thompson and Friends, a critically acclaimed collection of duets pairing Thompson with Lyle Lovett, Vince Gill, George Jones, Kitty Wells, and others. Thompson’s 2000 HighTone Records album Seven Decades featured his sure handling of both new material and classic country songs he’d never recorded before. Thompson’s hard-core honky-tonk–western swing sound—marked by a strong rhythm section of piano, bass, guitar, and drums; lead and fill parts supplied by twin fiddles, electric guitar, and steel; frequent shifts from 2/4 to 4/4 time, and above all his powerful vocals—continues to influence country artists such as George Strait, Dwight Yoakam, Asleep at the Wheel, and others among country’s newer generation.

Hank Thompson was elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1989. He still performs throughout the world. He and his wife of 37 years, Ann, reside in the Fort Worth area.

For ticket information to the event, please contact the Heart O’ Texas Fair ticket office at 254.776.1660

Tony Brown forms production company

Monday, October 1, 2007 – Former MCA Nashville head and Universal South Records founder Tony Brown said Monday he was creating a production company, Tony Brown Enterprises, in Nashville.
Brown has signed and/or produced Reba McEntire, George Strait, Brooks & Dunn, Trisha Yearwood and Vince Gill. As a label executive, Brown signed Steve Earle, Lyle Lovett, Rodney Crowell, Kelly Willis, The Mavericks, Allison Moorer, Shooter Jennings, Cross Canadian Ragweed and Todd Snider.

This announcement comes on the heels of the release of his latest project, "Reba Duets," which debuted last week at the number one on both the pop and country album charts in Billboard Magazine.

Keith Urban involved in bike accident

Monday, October 1, 2007 – Keith Urban was involved in an accident while on his bicycle in Sydney, Australia Monday, but was not seriously hurt. The accident occurred while Urban was on his way to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
In a statement Urban said, "Today's incident was the result of one person's desire to do his job and my desire to maintain my privacy. Some have already attempted to inflate the facts, but the reality is this; while out riding to an AA meeting, a time when my privacy is especially important to me, I felt myself being pursued. I sped up, and in an effort to elude an oncoming car, which was making an illegal u-turn, saw no choice but to drop my bike. In actual fact, my pursuer came to my assistance, without taking photos and helped me from the road. I returned home, got my car and continued on my way."

Urban has suffered from substance abuse problems in the past and received inpatient treatment last year for unspecified problems.

Rascal Flatts looks to top charts

Monday, October 1, 2007 – Rascal Flatts' "Still Feels Good" may have the largest sales week by a country act in 2007, according to the Building Charts posted by Nielsen SoundScan, Billboard Magazine's web site reported Monday.
Through Friday, the trio had sold 321,000 copies through Thursday. The disc was released Tuesday. The figures come from eight key national accounts. Opening day sales were 175,000 copies.

Reba McEntire's "Reba Duets" was number 1 last week with sales of 301,000 units and 154,000 units through that Friday's chart.

Rascal Flatts also is tracking ahead of the through-Thursday pace for Kenny Chesney's "Just Who I Am: Poets & Pirates." The disc had sales of 231,000 units through Friday when it was released in early September with first week sales of 387,000. That marked the largest sales of the year by any country artist. Last year,

The eight accounts are Wal-Mart, Anderson Merchandisers and Handleman Co., Trans World Entertainment, Best Buy, Circuit City, Borders, iTunes and Target.

George Strait announces '08 tour

Monday, October 1, 2007 – George Strait will hit the road in the new year with a three-month tour starting in Austin. Little Big Town will open the gigs.
For the past several years, Strait has launched a tour starting early in the year.

"We have been so fortunate over the past couple of years to tour with some amazing artists," says Kimberly Roads of Little Big Town. "But to be invited to share the stage with an entertainer like George Strait who never fails to give fans what they want year after year, show after show and hit after hit, is truly an honor. He has the career we all strive for."

A total of 17 shows was announced, starting Jan. 10 in Austin and ending March 7 in Lubbock, Texas.



**** Amy's Kitchen ****

Beef Salsa Casserole

1 lb. ground beef

1 jar chunky salsa (16 oz)

1 cup whole kernel corn

3/4 c. mayo

1 tablespoon chili powder

2 cups crushed tortilla chips; divided

2 cups shredded montery/jack cheese; divided

Heat oven to 350. Brown meat, drain. Stir in salsa, corn, mayo,

chili powder. Layer one half each of meat mixture, chips, cheese, in

casserole dish. Repeat layers. Bake 20 minutes until heated

through. Top with shredded cheese and chopped tomato if desired.

Serves 4

Chewy Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars

18 oz. refrigerated sugar cookie roll

14 oz. sweetened condensed milk

1 c. crunchy peanut butter

1 tsp. vanilla

3 egg yolks

2 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350.

Spray a 13x9" pan with nonstick cooking spray.

Cut cookie dough in half crosswise. Cut each section in half

lengthwise. With floured fingers, press dough in bottom of sprayed

pan to form crust. Bake for 10 minutes. Remove crust from oven.

Meanwhile, in a medium bowl combine milk, peanut butter, vanilla and

egg yolks; mix until smooth. Spoon evenly over partially baked

crust. Return to oven and bake 20 to 25 minutes or until set.

Remove from oven. Sprinkle with chocolate chips and let stand 3

minutes to soften, then spread chocolate evenly over top. Cool 1 1/2

hours or so until completely cooled. Refrigerate 30 minutes to set

chocolate. Cut into bars.




**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

How do astronauts sleep in the International Space Station? Do they use beds?

There are a variety of ways astronauts can sleep in space, depending on the mission and personal preference. Since there is no "up" in space, they can comfortably sleep vertically as well as horizontally. On space shuttle missions, they often sleep in their seats, in sleeping bags attached to the walls of the shuttle, or by tethering themselves to the walls.

However, in the new International Space Station, astronauts sleep in the Habitation Module, which features sleeping bags attached vertically to the module walls. Since the Space Station temperature is maintained at a comfortable 72 degrees Fahrenheit, the preferred sleeping attire is a T-shirt and shorts.

And, just in case you were wondering, microphones have officially proven that astronauts can snore in space (previously, researchers weren't certain if gravity was required for snoring).





****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because the are generally the same people."


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