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Subject: The Daily Funnies - October05, 2007



 
 

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From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to T
he Funnies
est.7-4-2000

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These  are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for  younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair almost anything.


Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all

Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help Them

Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.


TGIF

FRIDAY  OCTOBER 5,2007

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: The smartest advice on raising children
is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.



THANK YOU LORD

Thank you Lord for this sink of dirty dishes; we have plenty of food to eat.
Thank you for this pile of dirty laundry; we have plenty of nice clothes to wear.
And I would like to thank you Lord, for those unmade beds; they were so warm
and comfortable last night. I know that many have no bed.
My thanks to you Lord, for this bathroom, complete with all the splattered mess,
soggy, grimy towels and dirty lavatory; they are so convenient.
Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator that needs defrosting so badly;
it has served us faithfully for many years. It is full of cold drinks and enough
leftovers for two or three meals. Thank you Lord, for this oven that absolutely
must be cleaned today; it has baked so many things over the years.
The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that needs mowing and the lawn
that needs raking; we all enjoy the yard. Thank you Lord, even for that slamming
screen door. My kids are healthy and able to run and play.
Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me says; You have richly blessed
my family. I shall do them cheerfully and I shall do them gratefully.
Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings; Thank you Lord,
that I can hear. There are many who are deaf.
Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible,
Thank you Lord, that I can see. There are many who are blind.
Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, Thank you Lord, that I have the
strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden.
Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, toast is burned,
tempers are short and my children so loud, Thank you Lord, for my family. There are
many who are lonely.
Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures in magazines and the
menu is at times not balanced, Thank you Lord, for the food we have. There are many who
are hungry.
Even though the routine of my job is often monotonous, Thank you Lord, for the opportunity
to work. There are many who have no job.
Even though I grumble and bemoan my fate from day to day and wish my circumstances
were not so modest, Thank you Lord for life. Lord, Thank You!
Author Unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My two-year-old daughter, Paige was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Paige kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed.
With about six other patients waiting, Paige marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder.
"Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My forgetter's getting better,
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke

For when I'm "here" I'm wondering
If I really should be "there"
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,
Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain!
A zero, is my score.

At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,
Say "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who was that?"

Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blond woman phoned my husband at the dry cleaners he works for,
saying that the designer label was missing from her dress's neckband.
Assuring her that he would look for it, my husband spent the whole
afternoon searching the shop. Finally, he found the label in a trash bin.
He cleaned and pressed it, and dropped it off at the customer's home.
"Oh, thank you," she gushed. "I'm having a garage sale tomorrow, and I
can always charge a few dollars more for a dress with a label on it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde woman joined a big company as a trainee. On her first day she dialed
the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me some coffee, quick!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool, you've dialed the wrong
extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"
"No," replied the blonde.
"It's the managing director of the company, you fool!"
The blonde shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"
"No," replied the director.
"Phew," said the trainee as she laughed and hung up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jones applied to a finance agency for a job, but he had no
experience. He was so intense that the manager gave him a tough
account with the promise that if he collected it, he'd get the job.

Two hours later, Jones came back with the entire
amount. "Amazing!" the manager said. "How did you do it?"

"Easy," Jones replied. "I told him if he didn't pay up, I'd tell
all his other creditors he paid us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a
lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift, and so every
morning when the night shift workers passed through his gate it
was his job to check their bags and pockets to make sure that
nothing was being stolen.

Things were going along very well the first night on the job until
a man pushing a wheelbarrow of newspapers came through the gate.
Aha, he thought, that man thinks he can cover up what he is
stealing with that newspaper. So he romoved the paper only to find
nothing. Still he felt that the man was acting strangley, so he
questioned him about the paper.

"I get a little extra mponey from newspapers I recycle, so I go
into the lunchroom and pick up all the ones people have thrown
away." The guard let him pass, but decided to keep a close eye on
him. The next night it was the same, and the night after that.
Week after week it went on. The same guy would push the
wheelbarrow of newspapers past the guard's checkpoint. The guard
would always check and find nothing.

Then one night, about a year later, the guard reported for work
only to find a message had been left for him telling him to report
to the supervisor. He walked into the supervisor's office and
before he could say a word, the boss said, "You're fired!"

"Fired?" he asked in total surprise. "Why? What did I do?"

"It was your job to make sure that no one stole anythin from this
plant and you have failed. So you're fired."

"Wait a minute, what do you mean failed. Nobody ever stole
anything from this place while I was on guard."

"Oh, really," the boss answered. "Then how do you count for the
fact that there are 365 wheelbarrows missing?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ABC News was first to report Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton
want a reimbursement of about three-point-five million dollars in
legal fees. You have to understand their situation. It costs SO
much for Mr. Clinton to fly first-class to give those expensive
speeches....
~~~~~~~~
"My favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is the one that
says 'First Iraq, then France'." -Tom Brokaw 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The
French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from
Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler from France."
-Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"France said this week they need more
evidence to convince them Saddam is a threat. Yeah, last time France
asked for more evidence it came rollin thru Paris with a German Flag on it." -Dave Letterman 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why are all the highways in
France lined with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Going to war without France is like going deer
hunting without an accordion. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy
baggage. -unknown
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
France has neither winter, nor
summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with
Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
-Mark Twain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a
Frenchman who lives in Canada. -Ted Nugent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The only
way the French are going in with us is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
War without France would be like ... uh ...
World War II! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with
their hands up? The Army
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Q. How do you stop a French
Tank? A. Shoot the guy pushing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Q. how many Frenchman
does it take to defend Paris. A. We don't know, it's never been tried.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 The best French bashing line heard over the last week
is: "We can count on the French to be there when THEY need us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny
was spending way too much time playing computer
games. In an effort to motivate the boy
into focusing more attention on his schoolwork,
his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your
age, he was studying books by the light of
the fireplace."

Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was
your age, he was The President of The United States."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  A newly married couple, Billy and Mable , had bought a house in Maine. They disregarded the stories told to them about the house by the realtor about the house being haunted by an insane serial killer and moved in. Mable frequently complained about the feeling that someone was touching her in the night, and Billy resolved to stay up the whole night and see who, if anybody, was doing it.

True to his word, Billy stayed up the whole night. Around midnight, he was gripped by the feeling of an overwhelming thirst. He went downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Before he could get a glass, he heard the most horrible screaming from Mable's room. Billy rushed upstairs and screamed himself. Mable's dead body lay bleeding on the bed. Billy rushed downstairs and called the police. Several nights later, Billy was finally sleeping peacefully, until around midnight. Again feeling very thirsty, Billy went downstairs and got a glass of water. He went upstairs and saw a lump in the bed. He ran over and ripped off the covers; The ghost of Mable floated up above him. She had an unholy light in her eyes, and the dark form of another man floated beside her. In her hand, Mable held the biggest knife Billy had ever seen.

"Didn't you promise Billy? Didn't you promise? 'Till death do we part! You promised!" Mable screamed, as she floated towards the frightened and paralyzed Billy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  A young couple out on a date parked along an old country road to be alone. They were listening to the car radio and talking. Suddenly the music was interrupted by a news bulletin. "A convicted murderer has escaped from a hospital for the criminally insane. The man was mutilated in a car wreck following a high-speed chase and is missing his right hand. A temporary hook has been attached to his right arm, which will make him easier to identify. The criminal's name is ..."

The boy turned the radio off. He leaned over to his girlfriend, expecting that the frightening news flash would make her snuggle. Instead, she was so scared that she wouldn't even let him get close to her.

"I'm afraid," she said. "Let's get out of here."

The boy tried to convince her that they were in no danger, but she refused to listen. He decided that maybe she didn't like him as he had thought, and was just using this as an excuse. The girl reached over and locked her door as the boy angrily started the car.

Just at that moment, they heard a thud on the passenger side of the car.

The boy slammed the car into drive and spun out onto the road. The girl screamed and held onto the boy as they sped off down the road. On the way back to town they both calmed down, but the girl still held on so tightly that the boy decided he was wrong about her after all. As they came closer and closer to her house, he tried to think of a way to impress her.

They pulled up in front of the house and the boy said, "I'll make sure it's safe first." He left the keys in the ignition but locked the door as he got out. He came around to her side to politely open her door, like a hero.

For a long time he just stood there, looking down at the door. At first the girl couldn't figure out what was wrong; then she realized that her door was still locked. She smiled and unlocked it.

The boy still just stood there.

The girl looked puzzled and rolled down her window. Then she saw that the boy was looking down at the door handle. She slowly looked down herself.

Hanging from the door handle was a bloody stainless steel hook!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   While Ruth slept, a spider crawled across her face. It stopped for several minutes on her left cheek, then went on it's way.

"What is this red spot on my cheek?" she asked her mother the next morning.
"It looks like a spider bite", her mother said."It will go away, just don't scratch it."

Soon the small red spot grew into a small red boil. "Look at it now," Ruth said. "It's getting bigger." "That sometimes happens", her mother said. "It's coming to a head."

In a few days the boil was even larger. "Look at it now", Ruth said. "It hurts and it's ugly."
"We'll have the doctor look at it", her mother said. "Maybe it's infected."

But the doctor could not see Ruth until the next day.

That night Ruth took a bath. As she soaked herself, the boil burst. Out poured a swarm of tiny spiders from the eggs their mother had laid in her cheek!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  As Jim Brand lay dying, his wife left him with his nurse and went into the next room to rest. She sat in the dark staring into the night. Suddenly Mrs. Brand saw headlights speeding up the driveway..

"Oh no" she thought. "I don't want visitors now, not now." But it wasn't a car bringing a visitor. It was an old hearse with maybe a half dozen small men hanging from the sides. At least, that's what it looked like.

The hearse screeched to a stop. The men jumped off and stared up at her, their eyes glowing with a soft yellow light, like cats' eyes. She watched with horror as they disappeared into the house.

An instant later they were back, lifting something into the hearse. Then they drove off at high speed, wheels squealing, the gravel in the driveway flying in all directions.

At that very moment, the nurse came in, shook Mrs. Brand and told her husband had died!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  A young man and his wife were on a trip to visit his mother. Usually they arrived in time for supper. They had gotten a late start, and now it was getting dark. They decided to look for a place to stay overnight and go on in the morning.

Just off the road, they saw a small house in the woods. "Maybe they rent rooms", the wife said. So they stopped to ask. An elderly man and woman came to the door. They didn't rent rooms, they said. But they would be glad to have them stay overnight as their guests. They had plenty of room, and they would enjoy the company. The old woman made coffee, brought out some cake, and the four of them talked for awhile. Then the young couple were taken to their room. They explained that they wanted to pay for this, but the old man said he would not accept any money.

The young couple got up early the next morning before their hosts had awakened. On a table near the front door, they left an envelope with some money in it for the room. Then they went on to the next town. They stopped at a restaurant and had breakfast. When they told the owner where they had stayed, he was shocked. "That can't be", he said. "That house burned to the ground ten years ago, the old man and woman who lived there died in the fire."

The young couple could not believe it. So they went back to the house. Only now there was no house. All they found was a burned-out shell. They stood staring at the ruins trying to understand what had happened.

Then the woman started screaming! In the rubble was a badly burned table, on the table was the envelope they had left there that morning!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
  Jerry was driving home late one night when he saw a young lady waiting by a bus stop. He stopped his car and told her that he didn't think the buses were running so late at night and offered her a ride. The fall night air was getting chilly, so he took off his jacket and gave it to her. Jerry found out that the girl's name was Mary and she was on her way home.

After an hours drive, they arrived at her home and he dropped her off by the front door. Jerry said goodnight and went home himself.

The next day he remembered that Mary still had his jacket.

He drove to her house and knocked on the door, an old woman answered.
John told her about the ride he had given her daughter Mary, and had come back to get the jacket he had lent her. The old woman looked very confused.

John noticed a picture of Mary on the fireplace mantel. He pointed to it and told the old woman that that was the girl he had given a ride to.

With her voice shaking, the old woman told Jerry that her daughter had been dead for many years and was buried in a cemetery about an hours drive away from there.
Jerry ran to his car and drove to the cemetery....

He found his jacket, neatly folded on top of a grave...the name on the gravestone was Mary!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to:
mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca

SUBSCRIBE RessyPees-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
SHERIFF ANDY DAY

 Imagine a TV sitcom centering around a sheriff, with plots that contained
no crime! No crime, you say? How can that work? Well, CBS-TV figured it out
on this night in 1960 when The Andy Griffith Show premiered.
Maybe you remember the small town of Mayberry, North Carolina with its
sheriff, Andy Taylor, played gently and philosophically by Andy Griffith.
Andy was a widower with a young son, Opie, played by the now, award-winning,
movie director Ron Howard. Other members of the cast of The Andy Griffith
Show went on to become celebrated show biz stars, too: Don Knotts who played
Andy's deputy, Barney Fife; and Jim Nabors, the lovable, extremely naive gas
station attendant, Gomer Pyle, come to mind.
Since there was very little crime in Mayberry, the stories centered around
the personal lives of the citizens, mainly that of Sheriff Andy Taylor. The
sheriff was so beloved that, although the last show aired in September of
1968, millions of viewers continue to see The Andy Griffith Show in reruns.
There's even a worldwide organization, The Andy Griffith Show Rerun Watchers
Club (TAGSRWC), 12,000 members strong.
It seems that Sheriff Andy may live forever.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& 
You can join The Funnies
IT'S  FREE
To subscribe, Click on link below
25438-subscribe@zinester.com
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**** TODAYS LINKS ****

 By now, you have probably seen or own a radio-
controlled clock. When working properly, radio-controlled
clocks always display the correct time, down to the exact
second. This site explains how these clocks work.
http://www.boulder.nist.gov/timefreq/stations/radioclocks.htm
 
 Internet Animal Hospital for Dogs and Cats
 
A catalog of NASA images and animations
 
 Linking Patients to Medical Research 
 
Frank Lloyd Wright
 
Game Trivia Tic Tac Toe
http://www.animaxinteractive.com/banana/Games/tictactoe.html


**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American Heart Association web site on physical activity for women
and men. Features include health facts, practical tips, fitness news, a
personal trainer, user forums and event calendar.
http://www.heart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3040778
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to
abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!

 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My husband, Kenny, was taking the collection bag off the lawn mower
the other day and our neighbor asked, "Did you just mow the yard?"
Kenny said, "No. I'm spreading these grass clippings on the ground
to see if they will grow."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pun of the Day:
When bungee jumping never ask anyone to cut you some slack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@joink.com
     subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 **** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****
Race to the altar better than any podium finish
By Sarah Fisher
Special to ESPN.com
(Archive)
Updated: September 26, 2007, 4:43 PM ET

 
The week leading up to the wedding wasn't bad, but really busy. As soon as the Chicago race was over, the week completely flew by. With all of the handmade things we planned to put out for the big day, it was more laborious work than we all thought. Perhaps I should have gotten a wedding planner -- although I had fun doing it all. I never thought it would take hours to put together CDs and favors. I created CDs with all of our favorite music on them.

Luckily, my future in-laws and my friend Kris really helped sort through it. The only last-minute crisis was that we had to add 20 more tables and make the tent a lot larger for the amount of people who RSVP'd, so we had to come up with another bunch of centerpieces, CDs and favors.


Tonya Wittig Photography

Sarah and Andy: Their first dance as a married couple.

I was so busy that I had forgotten to get my dress pressed, thinking I could do it myself, so we called in a favor from Lamping Cleaners, which actually got all the dresses pressed overnight (talk about amazing). Plus, it's crazy how many little things you think you've got covered and then forget, even with my little handy-dandy notebook I carried with me 24/7.

 

Setting up the tables commenced on Thursday afternoon -- thank goodness for my Dad and our friend from the Dreyer & Reinbold Racing team, Joe Ward. With his hospitality experience, the tables were arranged in no time! But then all the work began of hauling out to the tent all the centerpieces, favors, wine, candles, etc. I love balloons, so my Aunt Robyn (my mom's twin sister), my Mom, Kris, Alissa and I blew up balloons and put them all around the tent.

 

Lighting was a bit of an issue. You should have seen Andy (my soon-to-be husband) monkey up the tent poles to hang our lights. They were beautiful once it got dark, and all of us who had worked all day finally got to see the tent put together with no people in it. It was a lot of work! The O'Gara family really chipped in, along with our friends (Lupe and John Piccione were so key in making it all happen!).

 

I think, overall, the wedding was a success. One of the neater parts of the ceremony was actually at the end, when our recessional played "Back Home Again in Indiana." It was cool to hear everyone's reaction to it. The only time I really teared up was when the prayers of the faithful were being read and the mention of family and friends who have passed and couldn't be here with us for that day. My thoughts were definitely with my Aunt Cathy and my Grandma Grindell. I would have loved to have seen them there -- that was really tough. And I know at the same time that Andy was thinking the same of his Uncle Dan. Our family means so much to us that the loss of any of them is completely devastating and never seems to go away.

 

Afterward, pictures went pretty quick, and Andy and I took off in our loaner '62 'Vette (from our good DRR friend, Art). When we pulled up to the reception, I don't ever remember a bigger cheer! I thought the tent was coming down. Just like my outdoor dream wedding had always been! My maid of honor, Alissa, gave a wonderful speech, which made me tear up. I had been doing great up until that point!

 

I was really impressed with some of the people who made it out, folks I knew cared but didn't think would join us. I certainly didn't want to leave anybody out of this beautiful day, although I know there will be someone down the line I will feel bad for who didn't get to come.

 

Andy really helped out leading up to the weekend. I have never seen him do so much yard work in all my life! The place really looked amazing before the tent went up. And even more so after, our honeymoon was in Hawaii on Oahu.

 

We had such a great time that I think Megan (Andy's sister) and Sean (her future husband) might be going there now for their honeymoon. At least we could point them in the right direction of some things on the island. I have never seen a place more beautiful. For once, I went on a vacation and those seven days were not enough. I would love to go back as soon as tomorrow! The best part about it was that after a long season, I got to spend all week with Andy all to myself. We had a wonderful time seeing the beaches, Pearl Harbor, Manoa Falls, the luaus -- it was all wonderful.

 

Now that I am back home, it's all about sorting out the sea of presents and getting our house back to normal, while at the same time getting back to training (oh, I was not a good dieter on the trip!) and working on the program for the IndyCar Series in 2008.

 

I appreciate all the support throughout the entire season from all the fans, the DRR crew and my friends and family.

 

Hope to see you soon!

 

-- S
**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-5-

On October, 5, 1925, at 7:00 PM, WSM was born, when Edwin Craig spoke the following words

into the microphone; "This is WSM, 'We Shield Millions.' The National Life and Accident

Insurance Company."

Billy Lee Riley, SUN Records/Rockabilly legend, born Pocahontas, AR 1933.

Margie Singleton, born Coushatta, LA 1935.

Johnny Duncan born Dublin, TX 1938.

The Davis Sisters' "I Forgot More Than You'll Ever Know" topped the charts 1953.

Richie Dotson, banjo player for "New Tradition" born Dickson, TN 1966.

Sonny James' "Since I Met You, Baby" went to # 1 in 1969.

Capitol Records released Buck Owens' single "I Wouldn't Live In New York City" 1970.

Georgette Jones born Lakeland, FL 1970. Georgette is the only child born to George Jones & Tammy Wynette.

Tommy Magness, age 54, fiddler for Roy Acuff, and Bill Monroe, died 1971.

John Denver's #1 country hit "Back Home Again" charted 1974.

Ronnie Milsap's "Lost in the Fifties Tonight" topped the charts 1985.

Clint Black performed at Carnegie Hall 1989.

Merle Haggard inducted CMHF 1994.

Bill Monroe received the National Medal of the Arts Award 1995.

Roger Miller inducted CMHF, and Alison Krauss won five CMA awards 1995.

Warner Brothers released Anita Cochran's album "Anita" 1999.

Tracy Byrd's "Ten Rounds With Jose Cuervo" topped the charts 2002.

George Strait's album "50 #1 Hits" was released 2004.

-6-

Kendall Hayes, songwriter, "Walk on By," born Perryville, KY 1935.

Al Dexter's "Wine, Women and Song" was #1 in 1946.

Ernest Tubb and Red Foley recorded "Too Old to Tango," 1953.

Marty Robbins' "Devil Woman" topped the charts 1962.

Rex Allen's single "Don't Go Near The Indians" debuted on the charts 1962.

Tim Rushlow, "Little Texas" born Arlington, TX 1966.

Frank "Cicero" Weaver of "The Weaver Brothers & Elviry" died 1967.

Jerry Lee Lewis topped the country charts with "There Must Be More to Love Than This" 1970.

Claude Grant, age 69, of the "Tenneva Ramblers" died 1975.

Moe Bandy's single "I Cheated Me Right Out Of You' charted 1979.

Amos Binkley, age 90, of the Binkley Brothers Dixie Clodhoppers, died 1985.

Janie Frickie's "Always Have, Always Will," was #1 in 1986.

Alan Jackson debuted on the Opry 1990.

Garth Brooks became the 65th
member of the Grand Ole Opry 1990.

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw were married in Rayville, LA 1996.

Theron Eugene "Ted" Daffen, age 84, songwriter, bandleader, died 1996. Inducted NSHF 1970.

Carolyn Dawn Johnson debuted on the Grand Ole Opry 2001.




 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
Rhonda Vincent leads bluegrass nominees

By JOHN GEROME, AP Entertainment Writer
1 hour, 55 minutes ago

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Rhonda Vincent & The Rage lead all nominees for Thursday's International Bluegrass Music Association awards with 12 nominations, including entertainer of the year.

Besides entertainer of the year, Vincent is nominated for vocal group, female vocalist, song of the year for "All American Bluegrass Girl" and album of the year for the project by the same name. Individually, she and her band members have seven other nominations.

Doyle Lawson & Quicksilver are up for nine nominations, individually and collectively, while Alison Krauss & Union Station, the Del McCoury Band and Ricky Skaggs and Kentucky Thunder have seven apiece.

Bluegrass/Americana artist Sam Bush hosts the awards show at the Grand Ole Opry House.

Lawson is nominated for vocal group, entertainer, song for "Sadie's Got Her New Dress On," album for "More Behind the Picture Than the Wall" and two nods for gospel recorded event. Lawson and his group have another three nominations individually.

Krauss & Union Station's nominations include entertainer of the year, vocal group, female vocalist and instrumental group.

McCoury's nominations include entertainer, instrumental group and gospel recorded event.

Skaggs' nominations include instrumental group — an honor he and his band have won eight times since 1998 — and instrumental recording of the year. Skaggs' chart-topping album with Bruce Hornsby is up for recorded event.


This Week at the Opry

Visit the Opry this weekend to see performances from Jack Ingram, Tanya Tucker, Lee Greenwood, Cherryholmes, Chuck Wicks, and more!


WHAT A CROCK OF S**T 
Jury finds Minnesota woman violated copyright law in download trial
Verdict a victory for record companies

By JOSHUA FREED
Associated Press


DULUTH, Minn. — The recording industry won a key fight Thursday against illegal music downloading when a federal jury found a Minnesota woman shared copyrighted music online and levied $220,000 in damages against her.

Record companies have filed some 26,000 lawsuits since 2003 over file-sharing, which has hurt sales because it allows people to get music for free instead of paying for recordings in stores.

This was the first such case to go to trial. Many other defendants have settled by paying the companies a few thousand dollars.

The jury ordered Jammie Thomas, 30, to pay the six record companies that sued her $9,250 for each of 24 songs they focused on in the case. They had alleged she shared 1,702 songs in all.

The companies accused Thomas, 30, of Brainerd, of offering the songs online through a Kazaa file-sharing account. She denied wrongdoing and testified that she didn’t have a Kazaa account.

During the three-day trial, the record companies presented evidence they said showed the copyrighted songs were offered by a Kazaa user under the name “tereastarr.”

Their witnesses, including officials from an Internet provider and a security firm, testified that the Internet address used by “tereastarr” belonged to Thomas



**** Amy's Kitchen ****  


 
Fried Pork Chops with Cream Gravy


from Southern Living, JANUARY 2003
 1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon Cajun seasoning
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon pepper
8 (4-ounce) boneless center-cut pork chops
1 cup nonfat buttermilk
Vegetable cooking spray
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup fat-free milk
1/4 teaspoon salt
Garnish: coarse ground pepper

Reserve 2 tablespoons flour, and set aside. Place
remaining flour in a shallow dish. Combine Cajun
seasoning, garlic powder, and pepper. Rub pork
chops evenly on both sides with seasoning mixture.
Dip pork in buttermilk; dredge in flour. Lightly coat
both sides of pork with cooking spray.
Cook pork, in batches, in hot oil in a large heavy
skillet over medium-high heat 5 minutes on each
side or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels.
Add reserved 2 tablespoons flour to pan drippings
in skillet; stir in milk and salt, and cook, stirring
constantly, until thickened and bubbly. Serve
immediately with pork. Garnish, if desired.

CALORIES 267 (42% from fat); FAT 12.3g
(sat 3.7g,mono 4.9g,poly 2.6g); PROTEIN 26.2g;
CHOLESTEROL 267mg; CALCIUM 63mg; SODIUM
250mg; FIBER 0.3g; IRON 1.5mg; CARBOHYDRATE
11.2g

Coconut Cream Cupcakes from Dessert Du Jour

12   paper baking cups
1-1/2  cups all-purpose flour
3/4  teaspoon baking powder
1/2  teaspoon salt
6  tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
3/4  cup granulated sugar
2  large eggs
1/2  teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2/3  cup low-fat coconut milk
1   recipe Coconut Custard (see recipe below)
3/4  cup heavy cream and 2 tablespoons confectioners' sugar, beaten to
firm peaks
1/3  cup coconut shavings, toasted, for garnish, optional

1. Preheat oven to 350 F. and arrange rack in center. Line 1 (12-cup)
muffin pan with baking cups; set aside. Whisk together flour, baking
powder and salt in a bowl; set aside. Beat together butter and
granulated sugar in a large bowl on high speed until light and fluffy,
about 2 minutes. Add eggs and extract; beat until combined well, about 2
minutes. Alternately add flour mixture and coconut milk, beginning and
ending with flour mixture, beating until just combined. 
2. Divide batter among baking cups and bake until cupcakes spring back
when lightly touched, 18 to 20 minutes. Cool 10 minutes, remove cupcakes
from pan and cool completely on rack. 
3. Holding a small knife at an angle, cut a 1-1/2-inch round in the top
of each cupcake forming a shallow cone-shaped opening. Remove tops and
fill each cupcake with 2 tablespoons custard; re-cover. (Can be made
ahead. Store in an airtight container, chilled, up to 2 hours.) Dollop
whipped cream on top of each cupcake and garnish with coconut, if
desired.  Makes 12 cupcakes.

Nutrition facts per serving: calories: 335 total fat: 18g saturated fat: 10.5g
cholesterol: 130mg sodium: 217mg carbohydrate: 40g protein: 5g




**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Why are you never supposed to touch a
halogen light bulb with your fingers?


Conventional light bulbs use soda-lime glass, which is perfectly
functional. But tungsten-halogen bulbs are made of much more
durable quartz glass because they must withstand much higher
temperatures, a minimum of 250 degrees Centigrade.

Quartz halogen lamps must not be touched with the fingers
because the natural oils from the skin, in combination with the
high temperatures reached by the bulbs when illuminated, will
cause the crystalline structure of the bulb glass to change.
Caden Zollo, product manager of The Specialty Bulb Co., adds that
contact with human oils can cause the glass to crack and leak.
Air can then get into the filament and, in extreme conditions,
can cause the bulb not only to leak but to explode.
To avoid this "explosive" situation, some halogen lamps come with
a separate outer bulb so that the lamps can be touched. If your
hands have come in contact with the bulb, or you need to clean
the bulb, wiping it with denatured alcohol will reverse the
effect of your greasy hands.

~source used: "Do Penguins Have Knees?"
by Bill McLain





****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is
so he can tell when he's really in trouble.


LAST CALL Y'ALL


HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
In God I trust. All others we polygraph
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