The Funnies Archives Index | Subscribe | RSS
<< October05, 2007 - The Daily Funnies October09, 2007 - The Daily Funnies >>

Subject: The Daily Funnies - October08, 2007




Anything above this line may be spam;beyond my control
The Funnies are strictly an opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM


From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.

Welcome to T
he Funnies
est.7-4-2000

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These  are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for  younger readers - PG
An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair almost anything.


Welcome New Subscribers
If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably
don't have any sense at all

Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help Them

Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.



MONDAY  OCTOBER 8,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY:  Problems are simply
an opportunity to do your best.




I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up the $46.64  charge.   I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.  I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor.  She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again.  I gave her the money back again...same scenario!  I departed the store with the $46.64.  This actually happened in Austin at MoPac Boulevard and Parmer Lane .
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one-get-one-free," she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"
They Walk Among Us!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and
said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."
They Walk Among Us!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.  One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week" He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"  Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
They Walk Among Us!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.  She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"
They Walk Among Us!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces;  I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
Yep, They Walk Among Us!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They Walk Among Us, AND They Reproduce!!
NORM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple is still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple."OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a LAWYER!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble.

Her business has gone bust and she's in dire financial straits. She's
desperate so she decides to ask God for help.

She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if
I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let
me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my
business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my
business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often
ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You.

PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life
back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.

The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself....

"Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mystery one

A man was found murdered Sunday morning.
His wife immediately called the police.
The police questioned the wife and staff and got these answers:

The wife said she was sleeping.
The cook was preparing breakfast.
The gardener was gathering vegetables.
The maid was getting the mail.
The butler was polishing shoes in the pantry.

The police instantly arrested the murderer.
Who did it and how did they know?

Mystery two

A man walks into his bathroom and shoots himself right between
the eyes using a real gun with real bullets.
He walks out alive, with no blood anywhere and no, he didn't miss
and he wasn't Superman or any other crusader wearing a cape.


How did he do this?

Mystery three

Old Mr.Teddy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend.
Mr. Fiend recounted his dismal discovery to the police:

"I was walking by Mr. Teddy's house when I thought I would
just pop in for a visit. I noticed his study light was on
and I decided to peek in from the outside to see if he was in there.
There was frost on the window, so I had to wipe it away to see inside.
That is when I saw his body. So I kicked in the front door to
confirm my suspicions of  foul play.
I called the police immediately afterward."


The officer immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the murder of Mr.Teddy.

How did he know Mr. Fiend was lying?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Try to figure all these questions before looking at the answers below.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a hound dog laying in the yard. An old man in overalls was
sitting on the porch. "Excuse me, Sir, but does your dog bite?", the
tourist asked. The old man replied, "Nope." So the tourist stepped out
of his car. The dog ran over snarling and growling and bit him on his
arms and legs. As the dog was dragging him away the tourist was flailing
around in the dust and yelled, "I thought you said your dog didn't bit!"
The old man replied, "Ain't my dog."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Abby,
I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't
afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any suggestions? Sam
Dear Sam,
Yes. Run for public office.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Special List

I have a list of folks I know
all written in a book,
And every now and then
I go and take a look.
That is when I realize
these names they are a part,
not of the book they're written in,
but taken from the heart.
For each Name stands for someone
who has crossed my path sometime,
and in that meeting they have become
the reason and the rhyme.
Although it sounds fantastic
for me to make this claim,
I really am composed
of each remembered name.
Although you're not aware
of any special link,
just knowing you, has shaped my life
more than you could think.
So please don't think my greeting
as just a mere routine,
your name was not
forgotten in between.
For when I send a greeting
that is addressed to you,
it is because you're on the list
of folks I'm indebted to.
So whether I have known you.
for many days or few,
in some ways you have a part
in shaping things I do.
I am but a total
of many folks I've met,
you are a friend I would prefer
never to forget.

~ unknown
~~~~~~~~~
It seems that there is a virus out there called the Senile Virus that
even the most advanced programs from Norton cannot take care of, so be
warned, it appears to affect those of us who were born before 1960!

Ten Symptoms of Senilus Vireous ( Senile Virus)

1. Causes you to send same e-mail twice.

2. Causes you to send blank e-mail.

3. Causes you to send to wrong person.

4. Causes you to send back to person who sent it to you.

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment.

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For all who are feeling a little older and missing those great old
tunes, there is good news. Some of the old artists have re-released
their greatest hits with new lyrics to accommodate their aging audience.

The Greatest Hits:

Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Walker"
The Rolling Stones - "You Can't Always Pee When You Want"
Paul Simon - "Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver"
Carly Simon - "You're So Varicose Vein"
The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend a Broken Hip"
Roberta Flack - "The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face"
Johnny Nash - "I Can't See Clearly Now"
The Temptations - "Papa's Got a Kidney Stone"
Nancy Sinatra - "These Boots Give Me Arthritis"
ABBA - "Denture Queen"
Leo Sayer - "You Make Me Feel Like Napping"
Commodores - "Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom"
Procol Harem - "A Whiter Shade of Hair"
The Beatles - "I Get By with a Little Help From Depends"
Steely Dan - "Rikki Don't Lose That Clapper"
Credence Clearwater Revival - "Bad Prune a-Rising"
Marvin Gaye - "I Heard It Through the Grape Nuts"
The Who - "Talkin' 'Bout My Medication"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a
halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going
on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the
conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within
five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor
walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we
catch up with the cow again?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bert has this friend who always seemed to lean slightly
to the left all the time. It used to bother him, so he
suggested his buddy Louie should see a doctor, and have
his legs checked out.

For years, Louie refused... told Bert he was crazy.
Last week, Louie finally went, and sure enough, the doctor
discovered his left leg was 1/4" shorter than his right.

A quick bit of orthopedic surgery later, Louie was cured,
and both legs are exactly the same length now, and he no
longer leans.

"So," Bert says, "You didn't believe me when I told you a
doctor could fix your leg."

Louie just looked at Bert and said, "I stand corrected."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded
with fans watching a sporting event on television.

The harried waitress took our order, but more than half an hour
passed with no sign of her return.

I was trying to keep my kids from becoming restless when suddenly
shouts of victory came from the bar.

"Hey," commented my 11-year-old, "it sounds as if someone just
got his food."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to:
mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca

SUBSCRIBE RessyPees-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
ANSWERS

1. It was the Maid.
She said she was getting the mail but there is no
mail delivery on Sunday

2. He shot his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

3 Frost forms inside of the window, not the outside.
So Mr. Fiend could not have wiped it off to discover Mr. Teddy's body.


&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& 
You can join The Funnies
IT'S  FREE
To subscribe, Click on link below
25438-subscribe@zinester.com
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**** Reader's Submissions ****

Dedicated To all who have died or are missing to serve their
country in time of war.

"Lands Afar"

P.O.W. short for, prisoner of war,
people imprisoned, in lands afar.
Remembering home, they sit and cry,
suffering terrible tortures, they pray to die.

M.I.A. missing in action, let the records show,
dead or alive, no one seems to knows.
They've just disappeared, in the middle of war,
somewhere hidden, in lands afar.

K.I.A. killed in action, freedoms highest cost,
so millions are free, thousands are lost.
Fighting and dying, in another war,
their lifes blood shed, in lands afar.

No greater gift, can a person give,
than his life, so others may live.
Abbreviations, associated with war,
They've paid a high price, in lands afar.

Frank J. Hornsby
Copyright ©2003 Frank J. Hornsby
 



**** ON THIS DAY ****

Freedom Isn't Free

I watched the flag pass by one day.
It fluttered in the breeze
A young Marine saluted it,
and then He stood at ease.

I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He'd stand out in any crowd.

I thought, how many men like him
Had fallen through the years?
How many died on foreign soil?
How many mothers' tears?
How many Pilots' planes shot down?
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, Freedom is not free.

I heard the sound of taps one night,
When everything was still.
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.

I wondered just how many times
That taps had meant "Amen"
When a flag had draped a coffin
of a brother or a friend.

I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.

I thought about a graveyard
at the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, Freedom isn't free!!

~Author Unknown~


**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An American Heart Association web site on physical activity for women

and men. Features include health facts, practical tips, fitness news, a
personal trainer, user forums and event calendar.
http://www.heart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=3040778
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to
abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!

 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@joink.com
     subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-7-

Uncle Dave Macon born Warren County, TN 1870, inducted CMHF 1966.

Vaughn Monroe born Akron, OH 1911.

Hugh Cherry, disc jockey, born Louisville, KY 1922.

Jimmie Rodgers first record released 1927.

Jim Halsey, manager/promoter, born Independence, KS 1930.

Gordon Terry born Decatur, AL 1931.

Buddy Lee, Booking Agent, born Brooklyn, NY 1932.

Bill Monroe recorded his first solo cuts for RCA. Mule Skinner Blues was recorded on this date in 1940.

Tex Williams went to #1 with "Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette)" 1947.

Kieran Kane, "The O'Kanes," born Queens, NY 1949.

"Cattle Call" took Eddy Arnold to #1 in 1955.

Marty Robbins released "The Story Of My Life," 1957.

Dale Watson, singer/songwriter/guitarist, born Birmingham, AL 1963.

Freddie Hart's "Easy Lovin'," topped the charts 1971.

Merle Haggard and Leona Williams married 1978.

"Songwriter," the movie, premiered in Nashville 1984. Kris Kristofferson and Willie Nelson starred.

Johnny Darrell, age 57, died in Kennesaw, GA from diabetes 1997.

Bill Anderson released his "Greatest Hits, Vol. 2" album in 1997.

Chris LeDoux underwent successful liver transplant surgery in Omaha, NE 2000.

Jimmie Logsdon, age 79, singer/songwriter, died 2001.

Freddy Fender received the International Entertainment Buyers Assoc. "Pioneer Award," 2003.

-8-

C. E. Moody, "The Georgia Yellow Hammers," born Calhoun County, GA 1891.

Pete Drake, producer, musician and publisher, born "Roddis Franklin Drake" in Atlanta, Georgia 1932. Inducted into the International Steel Guitar Hall of Fame in 1987. Elected to the Atlanta Music Hall of Fame 1989. Pete was presented with the Nashville Entertainment Masters Award on 5-7-87.

Susan Raye, recording artist, born Eugene, OR 1944.

Lynn Morris, Bluegrass singer/multi-instrumentalist/band leader, born Lamesa, TX 1948.

Jackie Frantz, "Dave & Sugar," born Sidney, OH 1950.

Russ Barenberg, Bluegrass/Guitar/Mandolin, born 1950.

Ricky Lee Phelps, "Kentucky Headhunters" born Paragould, AR 1953.

Anthony Kenney, "Kentucky Headhunters" born Glasgow, KY 1953.

Iry Lejeune, age 25, Cajun singer/accordionist, killed in a traffic accident on his way home from a gig 1954.

Jerry Lee Lewis' divorce from first wife Dorothy Barton, became final in 1954, twenty-three days after he married his second wife Jane Mitcham.

Sonny James quit the Big D. Jamboree, and joined the Ozark Jubilee 1955.

Harry Stone, age 70, radio executive, former manager of WSM, died 1968.

The 1979 CMA Awards Show was presented in Nashville.

Hubert Long and Hank Snow inducted CMHF 1979.

Willie Nelson named CMA Entertainer of the Year 1979.

Bob Newman, age 63, of "The Georgia Crackers" died 1979.

Barbara Mandrell won the CMA's Female Artist of the Year 1979.

Anne Murray becomes the first female to win the CMA's Album of the Year award 1984.

Floyd Tillman and Ralph Peer inducted CMHF 1984.

Tennessee Ernie Ford inducted CMHF 1990.

Trace Adkins was injured, in 2002, when the tractor he was riding, rolled over, pinning him to the ground. Just a few of the injuries sustained by Trace, prior to joining the Grand Ole Opry in 2003: Nose severed in vehicle accident; left finger cut off in the oil fields, shot through the heart by an ex-wife. There are more, but space is so limited.




 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

File-sharing verdict doesn't settle issue
If no one picked up copied songs, was copyright violated?

By JOSHUA FREED
Associated Press


MINNEAPOLIS — Jammie Thomas makes $36,000 a year but says she isn't looking for a handout to pay a $222,000 judgment after a jury decided she illegally shared music online and did it on purpose.

"I'm not going to ask for financial help," she said Friday. But she added, "If it comes, I'm not going to turn it down, either."

The recording industry won two victories with that verdict.

Beyond the money, the industry added to a growing body of legal precedents holding that making copyright-protected songs available online, even without proof that the songs went anywhere, infringes on the copyrights for the songs.

U.S. District Court Judge Michael Davis was planning to instruct jurors as they began their deliberations that record companies would have to prove someone copied the songs to show copyright infringement, but record company attorney Richard Gabriel cited cases where making songs available was found to be infringement.

Legal experts said the question isn't settled.

Andrew Bridges, an attorney who has argued for the Computer & Communications Industry Association that copyright holders should have to prove the offered material is actually used, said, "Record labels don't like that because it's harder to prove.

Bridges said, "It's all about whether they get a free pass to impose onerous damages on people without actually having to prove a case."

International intellectual property treaties assume that simply making a work of art available can violate the copyright, said Jane C. Ginsburg, an intellectual law professor at Columbia Law School.

"It would be hard to see how we could be living up to our international obligations if the law were interpreted differently," she said.

Penalty may scare others

Record labels have sued more than 26,000 people they accuse of downloading and offering music for sharing online in violation of copyright laws. Many of those people have settled by paying the companies a few thousand dollars.

Thomas was the first person to fight back all the way to a trial. Six major record companies accused Thomas of offering 1,702 songs on the Kazaa file-sharing network. At trial, they focused on 24 songs and jurors decided Thursday that Thomas willfully violated the copyright on all 24. They recommended she pay damages of $9,250 per song, $222,000.

Ray Beckerman, an attorney who has represented people sued by the record companies, said the companies used one case where there was a $22,500 default judgment to scare people into settling.

"Now, look at this. This is 10 times better. They can talk about this case, they can use it for frightening people," he said.

Beckerman said the damage award was disproportionate to the price of the 24 songs Thomas was accused of sharing for free. She could have bought them for 99 cents each on a legal download site, he said.

Record company lawyer Richard Gabriel argued at trial that Thomas made the songs available to millions of users on Kazaa.

File-sharing rises anyway

The lawsuits have cost more than they've brought in.

The Recording Industry Association of America has said it wants the suits to send a message that downloading music illegally is risky, but the number of people sharing files online has risen 69 percent to almost 9.4 million since 2003 when the lawsuits began, according to BigChampagne LLC, research firm that tracks file-sharing traffic.

That suggests the publicity has had a limited effect in deterring people from swapping music online, said Eric Garland, CEO of BigChampagne.

Record companies "don't want to be on the front page battling a lot of customers," Garland said. "They want to be on the front page selling a lot of Kanye (West) records."

Thomas denied that the Kazaa account at issue during the trial was hers. Neither side presented the computer hard drive Thomas owned in 2004 and 2005, which she allegedly use to download and offer the songs.

Thomas said Friday that people who heard about the verdict have been leaving messages on her MySpace page offering to help.

"I guess it's my Native pride," said Thomas, who is a member of the Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe. "Up until this point I have not held my hand out and asked for financial assistance from anyone."

Thomas, 30, works for the Mille Lacs band coordinating a federal grant for cleaning up contaminated land. She said she doesn't have the means to pay.

"I am a single mother of two boys. I make $36,000 a year at my job," she said. "At best they could try and get a court order garnisheeing my wages."

'She's going to pay'

Her attorney, Brian Toder, said that copyright law automatically awards court costs and attorney fees to the winning party.

Paying those, too, could push the total judgment against Thomas as high as a half-million dollars.

Recording Industry Association of America spokeswoman Cara Duckworth declined to comment on the group's plans for enforcing the judgment.

Thomas questioned whether the record companies will be able to enforce the verdict because she is an enrolled member of the Mille Lacs band, lives on its land and works for the band.

Kevin Washburn, who teaches American Indian Law as a visiting associate professor at Harvard Law School, said tribal courts generally enforce judgments from other courts. And since this is a federal verdict, the tribal courts might not even have a say in enforcing the verdict.

"One way or another she's got to pay," he said.



Bill Anderson Visits w/ The Legends On XM Radio

TUESDAY
Part of Country Music Month!
Bill Anderson Visits w/ The Legends: Gene Watson
America - XM 10 I Noon ET 
 

Subject: press release: Dustin Neighbors Brings Dollie Back


With acts of such clout as Carl Perkins in its annals, Dollie Recordings is the current manifestation of the label Jim Denny formed in the '50s and named for his wife. John Denny literally grew up with this family entity and has kept his ears open for "the right artist" to bring the label back into activity. "Dustin Neighbors is the act I've been looking for," states Denny; "he's laidback and real in the sense of Bobby Bare, Don Williams, and Randy Travis, but doesn't sound like anybody!"

Concerning the update of the label's name, Denny notes, "Technology is changing so fast, I don't know HOW we will distribute recorded music next week or next year, but they will still be "recordings," even if not "records" as we have known that term. Within that context, the new Dustin Neighbors album, "Circle Of Friends," is available at http://www.dollierecordings.com/index.html for sample listening and paid downloads.

Media interviews can be arranged through Ken Pearson, http://www.bluespringsmusic.com , Bill Littleton at http://www.BillLittleton@unclewillamsplace.com , or John Denny at the Dollie Recordings website or 615-269-4847.

Dustin Neighbors

The magic of country music is that it reflects a changing society while anchored in an older, kinder, gentler origin. None of the younger artists have missed the influence of loud rock with sometimes-violent themes, yet some of the individual personalities really harken back to simpler, easier-to-listen-to music with lyrics celebrating honor along with loneliness and heartbreak. If you’re making a list of such artists, put Dustin Neighbors up close to the top. When you listen to his album, “Circle Of Friends,” you’ll move him on up on your own.

Born in Anniston, Alabama but growing up in such diverse places as Iceland, the South Carolina coast, and West Florida while his father was in the military, music has been part of his life from the getgo – indeed, soaking up rock and roll from his dad, country from his mom, and bluegrass from his grandfather. “I don’t know much of anything but music,” Dustin deadpans, leaving little doubt that such a “deficit” does not bother him overly.

The factor that overrides any limitation one might presume is the natural grace and honesty he brings to his music. Whether working with a band in a club, solo at an outdoor festival, or in the studio with top-flight personnel, the let-me-show-you-how-this-works-without-breaking-a-sweat aura classically associated with Bobby Bare, Don Williams, and Randy Travis rises in the music like morning mist on the Coosa River – it’s not easy to explain but we know it’s there.

Combine that laid-back attitude with a variety of songs (note: NOT a variety of genres – this is all country) that touch emotional levels of us all at some point, and we have an important mainstream debut. Enhancing the outing are the musicians, all invited by producer John Denny because of their musical abilities AND their presence in his life as special friends, therefore the album title, “Circle Of Friends.” Doyle Grisham plays pedal steel, dobro, and rhythm guitar; John Rees is on keyboards; John Root handles drums and percussion; Tom Wild plays lead guitar; while David Russell doubles on fiddle and mandolin and Toni Seahauzer is on bass. Vocal back up is provided by John Frost and Jennifer O’Brien.

Dustin has worked with Ken Pearson’s Bluesprings Music Group for the past two years, putting the pieces together for an opportunity to let the general public in on this magic music. The time is now.




**** Amy's Kitchen ****  

"Blue Ribbon Carrot Cake"

Cake Ingredients:
1.)  2 cups all-purpose flour
2.)  2 teaspoons baking soda
3.)  2 teaspoons cinnamon
4.)  1/2 teaspoon salt
5.)  3 eggs
6.)  3/4 cup vegetable oil
7.)  3/4 cup buttermilk
8.)  2 cups granulated sugar
9.)  2 teaspoons vanilla extract
10.)1 (8-ounce) can pineapple, crushed and drained
11.)2 cups carrots, grated
12.)3-1/2 ounces shredded coconut
13.)1 cup seedless raisins
14.)1 cup walnuts, coarsely chopped
 

Glaze Ingredients:
1.)  1 cup granulated sugar
2.)  1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3.)  1/2 cup buttermilk
4.)  1/4 cup butter (1/2 cube)
5.)  1 tablespoon light corn syrup
6.)  1 teaspoon vanilla extract
 
Frosting Ingredients:
1.)  1/4 cup butter (1/2 cube), room temperature
2.)  1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, room temperature
3.)  1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4.)  2 cups powdered sugar
5.)  1 teaspoon freshly-squeezed orange juice
6.)  1 teaspoon orange peel, grated
 
Preparation:
Preheat oven to 350°.
Generously grease a 9 x 13-inch baking pan or two 9-inch cake pans.


To Prepare Cake:
Sift flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together; set aside.
In a large bowl, beat eggs.  Add oil, buttermilk, sugar and vanilla and mix well.  Add flour mixture, pineapple, carrots, coconut, raisins and walnuts and stir well.
Pour into prepared pan.  Bake 45 to 55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Buttermilk Glaze:
In a small saucepan over high heat, combine sugar, baking soda, buttermilk, butter and corn syrup.  Bring to a boil.  Cook 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Remove from heat and stir in vanilla.  Set glaze aside until cake is baked.
Remove cake from oven and slowly pour glaze over hot cake.  Cool cake in pan until glaze is totally absorbed, about 15 minutes.

Frosting:

In a large bowl, cream butter and cream cheese until fluffy.  Add vanilla, powdered sugar, orange juice and orange peel.  Mix until smooth.  Frost cake and refrigerate until frosting is set.  Serve cake chilled.
Serves 20 - 24





**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****


Is Pluto really a planet?

After assiduous campaigning by its discoverers at Arizona's
Lowell Observatory, distant Pluto was hastily declared a planet
in 1930, and ever since then schoolchildren have been taught with
great conviction that there are nine large bodies, or "major
planets," revolving around our Sun. Yet if it were discovered
today, Pluto would certainly not make the grade in the majors.
For starters, it's too small—less than half the size of Mercury
and smaller than our own Moon—and it has no gravitational
influence on the orbits of the other eight planets. Brutal as it
might seem, Pluto has been demoted, though since the early
nineties scientists have been haggling
over what diminutive name it deserves: asteroid, minor body,
dwarf planet, or perhaps the ultimate slap, planetesimal.
Whatever Pluto is, it's one of the true oddities
of our solar system, a ball of frozen methane that has an
elliptical orbit and behaves rather like a comet. "It's a
fascinating minor body," concedes astronomer Daniel Green of the
Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics. "But no one
seriously calls Pluto a major planet anymore, except for a couple
of whiners who're stuck in the 1930s."

~source used: "Why Moths Hate Thomas Edison"
by Hampton Sides






****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Please keep the faith; pray for our troops


LAST CALL Y'ALL


HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
In God I trust. All others we polygraph
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
Don't take anything you see in the Funnies personally. 
The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing more.
Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.
EVERYONE IS FAIR GAME
  

The Funnies are strictly an opt-in service.
We do not sell, lease, loan, or give our subscribers'
addresses to anyone for any reason.

Our features are intended to be for entertainment only.

Disclaimer : All of my materials are Borrowed from various areas on the web and from my readers. All are believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright on any of these materials please inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which ever you prefer.
~
GOD BLESS
AMERICA
   ~ 
To subscribe, Click on a link below
25438-subscribe@zinester.com
~
To unsubscribe from this opt-in mailing list
click on link at the end of this mailing

~
Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004
Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or
comments at:
JIM4615@JOINK.COM
or
Jim Dowers
P.O. Box 521
Carlisle, IN 47838-0521

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Miss getting The Funnies,or is your ISP
blocking mail again?
No problem
To Read the Funnies on line. Just click on this link
Archives Index:
http://archives.zinester.com/25438
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Unsubscribe link is at the END of this list


God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand
&&&&&&&&&&
THIS DOCUMENT IS VIRUS FREE

Scanned by Avast
virus protection
~
Unsubscription Email: 25438-unsubscribe@zinester.com
Unsubscription URL: http://www.zinester.com/mpb/unsub.cgi?25438











<< October05, 2007 - The Daily Funnies October09, 2007 - The Daily Funnies >>
The Funnies Archives Index | Subscribe | RSS
Google
 
Web http://archives.zinester.com
Archives powered by Zinester's Mailing List Service
Details on The Funnies
Browse for more newsletters at Zinester's Ezine Directory
Managed by Zinester's Mailing List Management