I always know God won't give me more than I can handle,
but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

MONDAY  NOVEMBER 05,2007


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much." --Oscar Wilde

There were two mosquitoes watching blood donors giving their
blood. "It's not fair," said one to the other. "They're happy to
lie down and let someone drain a pint of blood, but if we zoomed
down for a quick sip, they'd do their best to kill us."
~~~~~~~
My wife refuses to turn on the air conditioner unless it's really really hot. How hot, you ask?* You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
* Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
* Airplanes can't land because the asphalt is too soft.
* You discover that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
* The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy".
* Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
* Your pool water starts to boil in the sun.
* Pigs complain about sweating like fat humans
.* A scalding hot shower still cools you down.
* You've been getting hot flashes, and I'm a man.
* People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.
* You need a spatula and shoe horn to remove your clothing.
~~~~~~~~~~
**** NURSES NOTES ****
The cardiologist at the ER had bad news for me: "You're going to need a pacemaker."Later, the nurse filling out the admission form began to ask me the standard questions: "Have you ever had mumps, measles, etc.?"Seeing how upset I was, she put down the clipboard and took my hand. "Don't worry. This kind of heart problem is easily fixed, and your life will be much better as a result."I felt reassured until she continued with, "Do you have a living will?"
~~~~~~~~~
If ya wanta see this joke
go to Topica cause ya won't see it here
It was censored by the Russians.
~~~~~~~~~~
Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"
~~~~~~~~~
You are sitting behind the wheel in a car keeping a constant speed, on you left side there is an abyss.On your right side you have a fire engine and it keeps the same speed as you.In front of you runs a pig, larger than you car.A helicopter is following you, at ground level.Both the helicopter and the pig are keeping the same speed as you.What will you need to do to be able to stop????Answer: Get out of the car, step down from the merry-go-round and leave you seat to someone younger. The children's merry-go-round in the amusement park is primarily for the younger children.
~~~~~~~~
During a phone conversation, my nephew mentioned that he was taking a psychology course at the university."Oh, great," I said, "Now you'll be analyzing everyone in the family.""No, no," he replied. "I don't take abnormal psychology until next semester."
~~~~~~~
JUST LIKE IN REAL LIFEA teacher was talking to her class about the rewards of hard work. "The ant is an example to us all," she said. "Every day the ant goes to work. Every day the ant is busy. And in the end what happens?" A voice shouted from the back of the classroom, "Someone steps on it!"
~~~~~
A lot of people wonder how you know if you're really in love. Just askyourself this one question: "Would I mind being destroyed financially bythis person?"
~~~~~~
A pharmacy major was taking a course in Dispensing.One day they were discussing the various labels affixed toprescription containers, such as, "Take with food," and "Takewith water." At the end of class, the professor passed out afew sample labels. Days later he noticed that one member of theclass had stuck one of them onto his chemistry textbook. It read:"Caution: May cause extreme drowsiness."
~~~~~~~~
A Cub Scout troop visited the Sheriff's office and saw pictures of"Wanted" outlaws on the wall. One little boy pointed to a pictureand asked if that really was the photograph of the wanted outlaw.The Sheriff said it was.     "Then why," asked the little boy, "didn't you keep him whenyou took his picture?"
~~~~~~~~
I had moved to South Carolina from New York, and at that time a vehicleinspection was required to register my car. I was nervous; my car was inrough shape. I thought of New York State's rigorous inspections. Anynumber of problems might turn up that would be expensive to fix. I drovedown a country road and found a garage that had an inspection sign. WhenI told the mechanic what I needed, he circled the car, turned on thelights and honked the horn. Then he attached a new sticker and asked mefor the three-dollar fee. I was shocked. "Is that all you have to do?" Iasked. He answered, "Well, you drove it here, didn't you?"
~~~~~~~~
A comely blond was thrilled to have obtained a divorce and dazzled by the skill and virtuosity of her lawyer, not to mention his healthy income and good looks. In fact, she realized, she had fallen head over heels in love with him, even though he was a married man."Oh, John," she sobbed at the conclusion of the trial, "isn't there some way we can be together, the way we were meant to be?"Taking her by the shoulders, John proceeded to scold her for her lack of discretion and good judgment."Snatched drinks in grimy bars on the edge of town, lying on the phone, hurried meetings in sordid motels rooms - is that really what you want for us?" he asked."No, no..." she sobbed, heartsick."Oh," said the lawyer. "Well, it was just a suggestion."
~~~~~~~~
JUST LIKE AT HOME
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked thepassenger if he would like dinner. "What are my choices?" he asked. Shereplied, "Yes or No."
~~~~~~
The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, brightas a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept ofmarriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album,thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointedout the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the weddingceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?"he asked. "I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work forus?"
~~~~~
"The Jewish people have observed their 5758th year as a people." theteacher informed his class. "Consider that the Chinese have observedonly their 4695th. What does this mean to you?" After a reflectivepause, Little Johnny volunteered, "Well for one thing, the Jews had todo without Chinese food for 1063 years!
~~~~~~~~~
"What's the matter?" one man asked another.
"My wife left me when I was in the bath last night," sobbed the
second man.
"She must have been waiting for years for the chance," replied the
first.
~~~~~~~
"You get what you pay for." Clearly this is not true. Have you
been shopping lately? Only a naive person would believe that you
get what you pay for. In point of fact, if you check your
purchases carefully, you'll find that you get whatever they feel
like giving you. And if corporations get anymore powerful, you
soon might not even get that!
~ Carlin

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Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/
 

A hospital corpsman and I were getting an elderly retired master
chief petty officer out of his wheelchair, when I noticed the man
had a tattoo on his knee.
"What's that?" I asked, unable to make out the design.
"It's a banjo," he said sheepishly. "I'm from Alabama."

Today's Links:

The U.S. Highway System
http://www.factmonster.com/ipka/A0881994.html

Native American Technology
http://www.nativetech.org/

It's A Wonderful Internet
http://www.itsawonderfulinternet.com/

Water-bombers
http://snipurl.com/1sq5m

Sandi's Kitchen Recipes Index
http://d21c.com/Seabird44/recipes/index.html

 

Watch Free Movies
http://pullmylink.com/

 

Game Slider

Re-order the tiles into the correct sequence.

http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=123

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-4-

Kirk McGee born Williamson County TN 1899.

Will Rogers gave his debut performance at the Ryman Auditorium 1925.

Delbert McClinton born Lubbock, TX 1940.

Alan Munde of the Country Gazette, born Norman, OK 1946.

Van Stephenson, "BlackHawk," born Hamilton, OH 1953.

Roy Acuff, and Kitty Wells, took the first country music show to New York's "Broadway," in 1955. The show played for one week.

Kim Forester of "The Forester Sisters," born Oglethorpe, GA 1960.

The movie, "Your Cheatin' Heart," premiered in Montgomery, AL 1964.

Barbara Mandrell's "Sleeping Single In A Double Bed," became her first #1 in 1974.

Audrey Williams, age 52, died in Nashville, TN 1975.

Hank Williams Jr., appeared at Carnegie Hall 1981.

Sandy Brooks called Garth, prior to a show in Cape Girardeau, Mo. in 1989. She told him to come home immediately and straighten out their marriage, or she was leaving. Garth did not finish the show.

HMG released Jackie Lee Cochran's album "Rockabilly Music" 1997.

The NSHF, inducted Dean Dillon, and Shel Silverstein, in 2002.

Johnny Cash released his album "The Man Comes Around" and traveled with June to their home in Jamaica 2002.

Dale Noe, age 76, songwriter, guitarist, died Phoenix, AZ 2004.

-5-

Roy Rogers born "Leonard Franklin Slye," Cincinnati, OH 1911.

Roy Horton, born near Broad Top, PA 1914. CMHF 1982.

Billy Sherrill born Phil Campbell, AL 1936.

Gram Parsons born Winter Haven, FL 1946.

T. Texas Tyler released "My Buckets Got A Hole In It,"/"Cry Baby Blues," 1949.

Don Gibson signed with RCA Records 1950.

Joni Harms born Canby, OR 1959.

Johnny Horton, age 35, died in a car wreck near Milano, TX 1960. Horton was hit head-on by a drunk driver while returning home after an appearance in Texas.

The Kinley's, Jennifer and Heather, born Philadelphia, PA 1970.

Capitol Records released Buck Owens' single "Big Game Hunter/That Lovin' Feeling" 1973.

Ryan Adams born 1974.

Johnny Paycheck's single "Take This Job and Shove It" went to #1 1977.

Jimmie Davis, age 101, singer/songwriter/2 term governor of Louisiana, died in Baton Rouge, LA 2000. Inducted CMHF 1972.

Warner Bros. released Johnny Cash's album "Unchained" 1996.

Deana Carter and husband Chris DeCroce were divorced 2001.

Universal Records released Johnny Cash's "American IV: The man Comes Around" 2002.

Dorothy Southworth Ritter, age 88, widow of Tex Ritter, died in the Motion Picture and Television Home in Woodland Hills, CA. 2003.

Bobby Hatfield, age 63, the Righteous Brothers, died in his Michigan Motel Room in 2003.

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
Country's women toil in a 'man's club'
Female stars, writers feel the clock has turned back on industry's honors

By BEVERLY KEEL
Staff Writer

Country music is still a good ol' boys club in 2007, say some of the genre's most successful women singers and songwriters.

Many are speaking out about being frustrated and angry over the state of women in country music, especially after the recent lack of female nominees in country music awards shows' major categories.

"It's a boys club, and it's hard to break through that and it always has been," said singer-songwriter Matraca Berg. "I think there was some breaking through in the '90s, and then that door got shut again. I don't know how or why.

"It's been gradual, and it has definitely been very subtle. It seems like this year it has taken on a whole new color. … It is nothing less than shocking to me."

And at least some men in the industry aren't arguing the point.

Wade Jessen, Nashville director of charts for Billboard and R&R, said, "Country has never been an equal-opportunity format. It's always been dominated by the men, and the men always have an easier time."

Luke Lewis, chairman of Universal Music Group Nashville, said, "Honestly, I think they've got a legitimate beef. I think they are right: They are not getting their due."

• Awards and honors: At Wednesday's Country Music Association Awards, for the second consecutive year no women are nominated in the categories of entertainer or album of the year. A woman hasn't been nominated in the entertainer category since the Dixie Chicks in 2001. (They took the 2000 prize home.)

The Academy of Country Music hasn't nominated a female act for entertainer of the year since 2003 (the Dixie Chicks), though Carrie Underwood won this year's album of the year award.

"It's a man's club; it will always be a man's club," said singer Faith Hill.

"I think the CMA nominations are indicative of a bigger problem in the industry," Hill said.

CMA Entertainer of the Year for 1986 Reba McEntire said, "The women are having to work 10 times harder, and they aren't getting nominated and I don't know why. But it is not fair, it is not right.

"There for a while, I was saying, 'Oh my gosh, we have overcome this separation. The women are getting equal attention.' I think we have gone back 10 steps. … Will we ever have four women and one man nominated?"

A woman hasn't been inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame since Dolly Parton eight years ago. The esteemed hall holds 101 acts made up of 105 men and 14 women.

“To say that no female has been inducted into the Hall of Fame since Dolly in 1999? That is a little lopsided to me,” said singer Lorrie Morgan.

• Songwriting recognition: The Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame has inducted 158 men and 10 women. There hasn’t been a woman inducted since Sue Brewer was honored 17 years ago for her devotion to songwriters. The last female songwriter inducted was Parton 21 years ago.

“There are women who have written huge impact songs who are not even nominated,” said Berg, known for hits such as “Strawberry Wine” and “Wild Angels.” “Sharon Vaughn’s ex-husband was inducted years ago. She wrote some of those songs with him, and wrote huge, classic hits by herself.”

At ASCAP’s annual country awards, which honored 62 songwriters last month, 51 were men and 11 were women. Of the 66 songwriters being honored Tuesday at BMI’s annual country awards, 55 are men (83 percent) and 11 are women (17 percent).

That’s largely because there are fewer females writing songs, said Connie Bradley, ASCAP senior vice president. “Just pure numbers show that if it’s 80 percent men singer-songwriters, you’ll have a lot more coming out of that 80 percent.”

• On the radio: About 20 percent of the artists being played on country radio this week are women, with the remainder being males and groups, according to MediaBase. “That happens to be a reflection of the number of female artists appearing on the SoundScan Top 75 chart for this week, which shows that about 20 percent of the top artists selling country albums this week are female,” said Paul Allen, Middle Tennessee State University recording industry professor.

Singer Michelle Branch said, “I find it very interesting that there aren’t more of us. I hope that changes. There’s always going to be the great male country singer. I hope they leave a little bit of room for us.”

During the pop singer’s debut country project, she was told by those promoting her duo The Wreckers’ songs, “We have a smaller window to get your song on radio because they only play X amount of women’s songs.”

In the late 1990s, country radio was flush with female songs, but after Sept. 11, the format became male-dominated again with artists like Toby Keith, Montgomery Gentry and Darryl Worley, said Jessen. “When it comes to programming radio stations, the women get extra scrutiny that the men don’t necessarily get,” Jessen said.

It’s created a testosterone-driven environment full of songs about trucks and fighting, Berg said. “I don’t know if we sit around and wait our turn or try to do something about it,” she said. “I just feel like there’s ‘a pretty girl getting put in a box’ thing happening again, and I was hoping that was over.”

Songwriter Aimee Mayo (“Amazed,” “My Best Friend”) said female songwriters are hurt when fewer females are played on country radio. “When you are a woman songwriter and there are only three women on the radio, you have three places to go for a song. If it’s a male song, you would have 40.”

Jody Williams, BMI’s vice president of writer/publisher relations in Nashville, said of the 16 female singles on the Top 60, 14 were written by the artists. “That says female artists are not depending on guys to write their songs,” he said, adding that some may include male co-writers. “Of those 16, only one was written by males only.”

• On the labels: Very few women are producing major- label artists. No women produce acts on the rosters of Warner Bros. or Universal Music Group, while Capitol and Sony BMG each have only one artist produced by a woman (excluding female artists who produce themselves).

Sony BMG has 16 male acts and 11 female acts (or groups with females in them). Capitol has nine male acts and five female acts. Universal Music Group’s country roster has nine men and seven women. Warner Bros. has 10 male acts and three female acts.

“It is absolutely much harder to break a woman right now” into the marketplace, said Mike Dungan, president and CEO of Capitol Records Nashville. “There is a definite stigma out there. The minute you come to the table with a new female, you immediately start in a hole, so to speak, from radio’s perspective.

“In the early ’90s, we had tremendous success with women. We were breaking a lot of women. They were definitely the ‘in thing’ for a while, and then it cooled.”

Audience favors men

Allen said country radio’s primary target listener is women 35-44, and radio research shows that those women are attracted to a music programming ratio of 80 percent male and 20 percent female. “Labels understand that in order to get through the filter of country radio, the music they send to them has to roughly meet that balance.”

UMG’s Lewis, who broke Shania Twain, the best-selling female country artist of all time, said, “After Faith, Shania and the Dixie Chicks, it’s been sort of ugly. For the last five years or so, female artists have been hit with a buzz saw. … Maybe in the last one or two years, it’s loosened up, or at least they’re getting a fairer shake.”

ASCAP’s Bradley said she was recently told by a high-powered manager, “Women aren’t selling records as a whole.” She said, “He wouldn’t take on a female act at this time. Basically he won’t even talk to them” about management.

But some women are outselling the men. Carrie Underwood’s first album sold 6 million copies, and her recent sophomore album made its debut atop Billboard’s Top 200 all-genre albums chart with more than 527,000 copies, about 140,000 more than reigning CMA Entertainer of the Year Kenny Chesney’s September debut.

In addition, the new females are outselling new male acts. Miranda Lambert’s two albums have sold about 1.1 million copies, Taylor Swift’s debut album has sold 1.4 million copies, and Kellie Pickler’s debut album has sold more than 640,000 copies. “Seven of the Top 15 albums at the current time are women,” said Joe Galante, chairman of Sony BMG Nashville. “I’m struggling to say it’s bad.”

Women feel less respect

Even when women have success, they said, they aren’t always given the respect in the industry that is paid to male artists.

“You just have to work 10 times harder,” Hill said. “You can ask my husband. He sits there and witnesses it still to this day, the things I have to get done for my career. It takes me 10 times the amount of work to get it done because I am a woman.”

For instance, Hill said, when working with a male video editor, her wishes to add a scene are not immediately carried out. She’ll tell the editor, “No, I said to put this in. No, I asked for this to be put in.” “Five, 10, whatever times. But if my husband were to say, ‘Remove that shot,’ it’s gone.”

As for songwriting, a good song is a good song, regardless of the writer’s sex, said Hillary Lindsey, who co-wrote “Jesus, Take the Wheel,” which won a Grammy for Country Song of the Year, and “This One’s for the Girls.” (However, Berg said she gets her songs recorded by male acts only when she hires a man to sing the demo.)

But Lindsey said she is treated differently than male songwriters during music publishing negotiations. “When you are negotiating deals, I always feel like they are trying to pull something over on me because they think I’m not as smart,” she said.

Change is up to women

The female artists said if things are going to improve, then it’s up to women — both consumers and artists — to make the change.

“It’s the women that buy the records, and the women that buy the tickets, and it’s the women that watch the Oprah show,” McEntire said.

“Now if women are complaining about women not selling enough records or tickets or winning awards or being nominated, women have got to stand up for themselves and say, ‘Hey, let’s support women,’ instead of being catty, jealous, envious, backstabbing or whatever the situation is. The women have to team together and say, ‘Let’s make the women’s group stronger.’

“If you are going to buy a ticket, go buy a ticket to a woman’s show. If you’re going to buy a record, go buy a woman’s records. Support the women.”

Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles said, “Hey sisters, get out there and buck up. Put on a better show, write a better song. This is reality. We’re not going to re-invent the wheel. Going around and harping about it won’t change it. It’s got to change it from the inside — bigger, better, faster, more — or accept it, either one.

“I want to put on the best show out there, period. I want to write the best song that connects with the audience. I don’t get caught up with what all of it means. If you do your best, the proof is in the pudding.”

**** Amy's Kitchen ****  

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Why do we say "God bless you" after a
sneeze?

Why do we bless people when they sneeze? After all, we have no
such custom for people when they cough or hiccup. In ancient
times, it was believed that the soul left your body when you
sneezed and that evil spirits could then enter. Blessing you with
the name of God was supposed to prevent this. In the Dark Ages,
it was believed that your heart stopped momentarily when you
sneezed. You were, in effect, dead for an instant and had to be
blessed.

Sneezing is triggered by irritants such as dust, pollen, or pet
dander. These particles land on the mucous lining of the nose.
The irritation triggers the lungs to inhale, building up high
pressure, while the airways are all tightly closed. When the air
passages are suddenly opened, the breathing muscle forcibly
expels the air, and any irritants, out through the nose and mouth.

Dust and pollen aren't the only things expelled with the air. If
you are sick, any viruses in the nasal passages or throat can
also be expelled. When you sneeze, mucus-laden air is shot out of
your nose and mouth at around one hundred miles per hour. A good
blast can travel clear across a room. A sick person could, thus,
spread their illness to anyone in the immediate area. Bearing
this in mind, perhaps the next time someone sneezes, they should
bless *you*!

~source used: "Thoughts for the Throne"
by Don Voorhees


****A PARTING THOUGHT ****

If I had the chance to change just one thing in my life I, think
I'd have to pick underpants.

LAST CALL Y'ALL
 My senior citizens' refresher driving course was almost finished,
and the teacher began to drill us. "What do you do when you
want to exit from a freeway?" he asked.
"Pull into the exit lane before you slow down," the class chorused.
"Good," replied the instructor. "And what do you do when you
want to get off the freeway but miss your exit?"
There was a pause before a woman volunteered, "Ask the post
office to forward your mail." 
SEE YA

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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