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Subject: The Daily Funnies - November08, 2007



 

 
 

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From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to T
he Funnies
est.7-4-2000

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These  are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for  younger readers - PG

I always know God won't give me more than I can handle,
but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.


God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

Hank Thompson passes away
 See details in "COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS"

Another of our GREAT country music stars is gone.All but forgotten until he passed,then suddenly we realize what we have lost.Thank GOD
he passed peacefully.He will be missed...Jim

THURSDAY  NOVEMBER 8,
2007
This Is Paul Martinez Thanks for the information about Hank Thompson
I always considered Hank my friend I remember one time when I hired Hank
Thompson I furnished the Band and told him about the rhythm man that had no
money only what he would be making that day and after the show Hank gave him
a tape. When he went to play it he found A $100.00 bill inside the tape. That is
the kind of man Hank was.


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Why don't they make our stars
the way they used to ?

A man never knows how to say good-bye; a woman never knows when to say it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On vacation my nine-year-old son, Ryan, and I were at the pool,
where two attractive young women wearing thong bikinis were
sunning themselves. I noticed that Ryan kept staring at them,
but he would occasionally glance back at me. When they got
up to leave, Ryan watched them particularly closely. I was
bracing myself for questions he might have when he turned to
me and whispered, "Dad, can I take that candy bar those girls
left behind?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My husband's cousin married a former Marine who now works
for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son
two stuffed bears--one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine
garb.
When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture
of himself in full Marine dress.
"See, Connor?" he explained, pointing to the photo and then
to the bear. "That's Daddy."
Connor's eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked
in a puzzled voice, "You used to be a bear?" 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sound judgement
When you have three boys, it's hard to know whom
to blame if something goes wrong in the house.
One father explained to a friend how he solved
the problem: "I send all three to bed without
letting them watch television. In the morning I
go after the one with the black eye!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are travelling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine.

"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine. She opens the window and shouts, "Get the h**l off the car!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buddy o' mine and I drove his vintage Cougar convertible down to Florida. Parked it on the beach, and went lookin' for some beach honeys.

Unknown to us, the tide came in, along with some pretty wicked waves (okay, we were in the bar by then, so what?).

When we came back to the drenched car, we noticed a rather large fish lying IN the car.

My now distraught buddy was practically sobbing over his ruined classic. I reassured him we could recoup enough money from this tragedy to fix the car, by calling the National Enqurer for the exclusive story.

"What the heck are you TALKIN' 'bout?", he asked.

I replied...........
{ya better be ready, 'cause this is awful}



"It'll be the FIRST known case of tuna in a Mercury!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I bought new toothbrushes for the family and told my husband his was the green one, and my son that his was the blue one. The red one was mine. A few weeks later, I noticed my toothbrush was looking much more worn than the other two. So I asked my husband, “What color is your new toothbrush?”

“Red,” he replied.

“No it isn't, Dad,” my son piped up. “Mine's the red one!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One finds the most romantic people shopping at
home improvement centers. My son was helping
a couple purchase a new door for their home.
After he asked the man what size door they
needed, the stumped husband yelled clear across
the store to his wife in home supplies, "Honey,
c'mon over here and see which one of these
doors you can fit through." 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Harvey and Gladys are getting ready for bed. Gladys is
standing in front of her full-length mirror, taking a long,
hard look at herself.
"You know, Harvey," she comments.  "I stare into this
mirror and I see an ancient creature. My face  is all
wrinkled, my upper body sags so much that it dangles
to my waist, my arms and legs are as flabby as popped
balloons, and my behind looks like a sad, deflated version
of the Goodyear Blimp!"
She turns to face her husband and says, "Dear, please
tell me just one positive thing about my body so I can
feel better about myself."
Harvey studies Gladys critically for a moment and then
says in a soft, thoughtful voice,  "Well...you've got
good eyesight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 A woman had gained a few pounds. It was most noticeable
to her when she squeezed into a pair of her old blue jeans.
Wondering if the added weight was noticeable to everyone
else, she asked her husband, "Honey, do these jeans make
me look like the side of the house?"
"No, dear, not at all," he replied, "Our house isn't blue."
He is almost over the cold he caught sleeping in the garage
for 3 nights.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Today's Links:
 
 Enter your zip code and compare US Census data
 with other zip codes
 
Game Ball Dodge

You can join The Funnies
To subscribe, Click on link below
http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies 
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FREE FOOD FOR HOMELESS DOGS
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/ 

About FreeRice
FreeRice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
 Poverty.com
No one should ever go to bed hungry....Jim


**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-8-

Scotty Wiseman of "Lulu Belle & Scotty," born Ingalls, NC 1909.

Patti Page born Clara Fowler, in Oklahoma 1922.

Harold Shedd, music executive/producer, born Bremen, AL 1931.

Jimmy Elledge, singer/songwriter/pianist, born Nashville, TN 1943.

Bonnie Raitt singer/songwriter, born Burbank, CA 1949.

The "Main Street Jamboree," debuted on CHML in Hamilton, Ontario 1952.

Patsy Cline recorded "Walkin' After Midnight," 1956.

Louisiana Hayride star, Johnny Horton's was buried in Shreveport, LA 1960.

Buck Owens recorded "Your Tender Loving Care" 1966.

Otto Gray age 83, died 1967.

Capitol Records released Buck Owens "Too Old To Cut The Mustard/Wham Bam" 1971.

The 1984 and 1990 CMA Award Shows were presented in Nashville.

Tennessee Ernie Ford inducted CMHF 1990.

The Highwaymen recorded their third album in Santa Monica, CA 1994.

Warner Brothers released "Very Best of Rex Allen Jr." 1994.

Johnny Paycheck joined the Grand Ole Opry 1997.

Alison Krauss and guitarist Pat Bergeson married 1997.

Toby Keith was named Country Songwriter Artist of the Year, and Loretta Lynn was awarded BMI Icon status at the BMI 2004 Country Awards Show on Music Row.

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Hank Thompson passes away

Wednesday, November 7, 2007 – Country Music Hall of Famer Hank Thompson, who waas known for "The Wild Side of Life," passed away at his residence in Keller, Texas, on Tuesday.
"He was battling aggressive lung cancer," Thompson spokesman and Heart of Texas Records President Tracy Pitcox said. "He remained conscious until the last couple of hours and passed away peacefully at about 10:45 p.m. on Tuesday night surrounded by his friends and family." 
 
Thompson was born on Sept. 2, 1925, in Waco, Texas. He grew up idolizing musicians like Jimmie Rodgers, Gene Autry, the Carter Family and Vernon Dalhart. Thompson began playing the guitar and working local talent shows as a teenager. His first radio program was on WACO where he was featured as "Hank The Hired Hand." 
 
"I had a local morning program on WACO," Thompson recalled in the book 'Legendary Conversations'. "It was for a grocery store and flour company there in town. It was just me and my guitar. I would pick and sing and then go back on Saturday afternoons and sing for the folks down at the store. I got in the professional part of the business at a very early age." 
 
After graduating from high school, Thompson joined the Navy as an electrical engineer which he would continue to study at Princeton after the service. In 1946, he formed his first band The Brazos Valley Boys. 
 
"I did not use the band on my radio broadcast," Thompson said. "We would go out and work some of the schoolhouses together. After I left Waco and moved to Dallas, I formed a more permanent group around 1950. We started with the heavy emphasis on Western Swing and what we kind of call the Honkytonk Swing." People liked that kind of music because they could dance to it." 
 
In 1946, he recorded his first single, "Whoa Sailor" for Globe Records. He then recorded for Bluebonnet before catching the attention of Tex Ritter. He helped Thompson obtain a recording contract with Capitol Records in 1947. He would remain on their roster for more than 18 years. 
 
Thompson's first major hit for Capitol was the nursery rhyme influenced "Humpty Dumpty Heart" in 1949 followed by his signature song "The Wild Side of Life." That song inspired an answer song in the form of "It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels" recorded by Kitty Wells. It became the first number one song by a female in country. 
 
"I had no idea that the 'Wild Side of Life' would become a hit record" Thompson said. "I really wasn't that excited about the song. It actually came out as the B side of the record. We recorded it because it had been popular by Jimmie Heap and the Melodymasters in Taylor, Texas. After the A side made a little splash, the disc jockeys turned it over, and it became a smash hit." 
 
Thompson was the first country entertainer to travel with his own light and sound system, the first to have a corporate sponsor, the first to record in high fidelity stereo and the first to broadcast his television show in color. 
 
In 1961, Thompson recorded the historic album "Live At The Golden Nugget," the first live album ever recorded. 
 
Thompson would also help several fellow musicians begin their career in country including Jean Shepard, Wanda Jackson, Billy Walker, Merle Travis and Little Joe Carson. 
 
Thompson recording career would continue to flourish with staple songs including "Blackboard of My Heart" "Green Light" "On Tap In The Can or In The Bottle" "King of Western Swing" and "A Six Pack To Go." 
 
He recorded 21 songs that reached the top 20 on the charts and sold more than 60 million records during his career. Thompson became the first country entertainer to record in seven different decades. 
 
After leaving Capitol in 1965, Thompson would go on to record projects for Warner Brothers, ABC Dot, MCA, Curb, HighTone and his last project "My Personal Favorites" on his own independent label. 
 
The last performance that Thompson made was in Waco, Texas, on Oct. 8. It was declared Hank Thompson Day in the state of Texas. 
 
He was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1989. 
 
"I guess that is the single most important thing that has ever happened in my career," Thompson said. "I don't think there is anything that actually epitomizes an industry any more that to be put into a very select group of your peers like the Hall of Fame." 
 
"Mr. Thompson requested that he not have a traditional funeral service," Pitcox said. "He wanted a 'Celebration of Life' ceremony. We are currently in the planning stages of that event, and it will be open to Mr. Thompson's many fans and friends in the Ft. Worth area." 
 
In lieu of flowers, memorials can be made in Thompson's name to the Heart of Texas Country Music Museum 1701 South Bridge St., Brady, Texas 76825.


Country Music Hall of Famer Hank Thompson dies at 82

By PETER COOPER
Staff Writer

Country Music Hall of Famer Hank Thompson's music was a hard-driving, crowd-pleasing blend of honky-tonk and western swing, and his deep, resonant voice helped him to score Top 40 country hits across five decades. On Tuesday, around 10:45 p.m., Mr. Thompson, 82, succumbed to lung cancer. He was at his Keller, Tex. home, surrounded by friends and family.

Mr. Thompson burst onto the national music scene with 1948's "Humpty Dumpty Heart," and in 1952 his "The Wild Side Of Life" stayed at the top of the country charts for 15 weeks. "The Wild Side Of Life" also inspired an answer-record from Kitty Wells called "It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels," a recording that made Wells into a star.

In 1961, Mr. Thompson became the first single country artist to record a live album with the rousing At The Golden Nugget. The song-set was aided by his Brazos Valley Boys band, a group that won Billboard magazine's touring band of the year award for 14 straight years. The Golden Nugget album concludes with Mr. Thompson introducing the Brazos Valley Boys and telling the crowd, "If we've entertained you it's certainly been our privilege, and our pleasure."

Mr. Thompson entertained for more than 60 years, from his "Whoa Sailor" single in 1946 to his Oct. 8, 2007, performance in his hometown of Waco, Tex. Born to immigrant parents (they hailed from Bohemia), Mr. Thompson grew up listening to the music of "Father of Country Music" Jimmie Rodgers, to cowboy star Gene Autry and to western swing kingpin Bob Wills. As a high school student, Mr. Thompson got a job on radio station WACO, spinning records and identifying himself to listeners as "Hank The Hired Hand." Then it was on to the Navy, where he was stationed in San Diego and where he continued to play music in clubs.

"Whoa Sailor" was released on the small Globe label in 1946. Tex Ritter soon became a fan, and Ritter brought Mr. Thompson to the attention of Capitol Records officials. Signed to Capitol, Mr. Thompson and his Brazos Valley Boys made music that included sophisticated, swing-inspired arrangements but which never lost the snarl and stomp favored by those who plugged dimes into honky-tonk jukeboxes.

Perhaps inspired by the helping hand he’d gotten from Ritter, Mr. Thompson sought to bring scuffling performers into the spotlight. He heard Wanda Jackson on local radio in Oklahoma City when she was still in high school, and he brought her into the recording studio and onstage with the Brazos Valley Boys. He also discovered Jean Shepherd and helped set up her record deal at Capitol.

Mr. Thompson brought about numerous country "firsts." He was the first artist to tour with a sound and lighting system, the first to receive corporate sponsorship on tour and the first to record in high-fidelity stereo. His 1950s television show in Oklahoma City was the first variety show to be broadcast in color, which helped him to show off an outlandish wardrobe that was impressive enough to make even Porter Wagoner nervous. His good-time sets included songs with titles such as "Rub-A-Dub-Dub," "Hangover Tavern," "On Tap, In The Can, Or In The Bottle" and "Smoky The Bar."

A half-century into his career, Mr. Thompson was still making vibrant music, and his admirers lined up to sing with him on 1997's Real Thing album. Brooks & Dunn, George Jones, Vince Gill, Lyle Lovett, David Ball, Junior Brown and Marty Stuart were among the recording’s guests.

Mr. Thompson requested a “Celebration of Life” ceremony rather than a traditional funeral service, and that ceremony is in the planning stages.

In lieu of flowers, Mr. Thompson’s wife, Ann Thompson, has asked that donations be made in Hank Thompson’s name to the Heart of Texas Country Music Museum, 1701 South Bridge Street, Brady, Tex., 76825. 
 

**** Amy's Kitchen ****  
SWEET POTATO & APPLE BAKE   

  
1 large (1/4 lb) sweet potato  
3 medium Golden Delicious apples  
1 teaspoons lemon juice  
1 large leek  
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter or margarine, softened  
1/4 teaspoon Salt  
1/8 teaspoon ground pepper  
1/4 cups apple juice  
2 tablespoons unseasoned bread crumbs  
1 tablespoon brown sugar  

DIRECTIONS:  
Heat oven to 350 degrees. Peel and thinly slice sweet potato.  
Peel, core, and cut apples into 1/4-inch-thick slices. Place  
apples in bowl and add water to cover; add lemon Juice. Trim  
off top of leek 1 inch above white; discard top and root end.  
Cut leek lengthwise in half and clean well under running cold  
water. Thlnly slice leek crosswise. Drain apples well; pat  
dry. Grease 1 1/2-quart casserole with 1 table- spoon butter.  
Place one third of apples in bottom of casserole; top with one  
third of leek slices and one third of sweet potato. Season with  
salt and pepper. Repeat to make 2 more layers. Dot top of  
casserole with 2 tablespoons butter; pour apple juice over all.  
Cover tightly with lid or aluminum foil and bake 45 minutes.  
Meanwhile, to make topping, in small saucepan, melt remaining  
1 ta- blespoon butter; stir in bread crumbs and brown sugar  
until well combined. Uncover casserole and sprinkle with  
topping. Bake uncovered 10 to 15 minutes longer or until  
potato slices are tender. Serve immediately.  

Yield: 6 Servings  


**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

What makes SuperBalls bounce so high?

 At the risk of making an unpaid endorsement, we think no childhood is complete without (accidentally) chucking a SuperBall into mom's crystal display case. Indeed, when it comes to instigating pure household chaos, nothing tops these wee bouncing balls of anarchy. So what gives SuperBalls their tremendous power? We leaped over to toymaker Wham-O for some answers. Or not. Unfortunately, the good people at Wham-O offered little explanation. However, they did give us one hint, claiming their SuperBall is made of something called "Zectron." Hmm, "Zectron" sounds a lot like some made-up Willy Wonka word rather than real scientific material. But just to be sure, we put it in the Search box.

It turns out Zectron is legit, combining polybutadiene with sulfur. It was discovered by the ball's inventor, Norman Stingley. Like the adhesive behind Post-It Notes, this new rubber compound wasn't an intentional invention, but the material's ability to rebound 90 percent when greatly compressed led Stingley to believe he had a hit toy on his hands. And, of course, he was right.




****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.


LAST CALL Y'ALL

When my father-in-law decided to move after his retirement, he invited us to his home to take a few pieces of furniture he wanted us to have. One item was a beautiful, but very heavy antique dining-room set. Our teenage son helped us wrestle the set into our truck. It took the whole day, but finally the table, chairs, and china cabinet were sitting in our dining room.

"Just think," I said as I admired the furniture while my son sat resting. "This set is 100 years old. And one of these days, it will belong to you."

"Oh, no!" he replied with a stricken look on his face. "You mean I'm going to have to move this thing AGAIN?"

See ya tomorrow
R.I.P. Hank we'll miss ya
HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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