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Welcome and enjoy!
Thanks Sylvie

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published 5 x weekly.No censorship

From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to The Funnies
est.7-4-2000

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG

I always know God won't give me more than I can handle,
but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

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published 5 x weekly.No censorship

TUESDAY DECEMBER 4,2007

My friends,my buds in this month of joy and celebration. I always run stories of the season and of inspiration.Because of space limitations so as not to slight anybody of something they like,I have decided to run the Funnies in two parts,but only if and when necessary.I hopes this meets with your approval, after all it is Christmas.......Jim

The Cab Ride

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30
a.m,
the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor
window.
Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or
twice, wait
a minute, and then drive away.

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as
their
only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I
always
went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my
assistance, I
reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a
frail,
elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood
before
me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil
pinned on
it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon
suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for
years. All
the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the
counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and
glassware.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing", I told her. "I
just
try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated".

"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she
gave me
an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a
hospice".

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't
have
any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very
long." I
quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

"What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the
building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived
when
they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture
warehouse
that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or
corner
and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly
said, "I'm
tired. Let's go now"

We drove in silence to the address she had given me.It was a low
building,
like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a
portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were
solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been
expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman
was
already seated in a wheelchair. "How much do I owe you?" she asked,
reaching
into her purse.

"Nothing," I said

"You have to make a living," she answered. "There are other
passengers," I
responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She
held onto
me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.

"Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.
Behind me,
a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly
lost in
thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that
woman
had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his
shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then
driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more
important in
my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great
moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware - beautifully wrapped in what
others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT 'YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID,
~BUT~THEY
WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we
might as
well dance
True or not this is a good story, made me think!
Thought For The Day
In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the anti-American
sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Prime
Minister Tony
Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his
Parliament
members why he believes so much in America , he said:

"A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many
want in
... And how many want out." Only two defining forces have ever
offered to
die for you:

1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO PASS THIS ON, AS MANY SEEM TO FORGET BOTH OF THEM.
My Thanks to Nancy

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Failure is not an option.
It comes bundled with your software.

"CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED"

1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and.....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate - why is France so far away? - all is quiet

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells , Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man went to see a psychiatrist. "Doc", he said, "you've got to help me. I have a terrible fear of Santa Claus."
"Santa Claus?," the doctor replies.
"Yes", the man replied. "you know, St. Nick, Kris Kringle, Santa Claus. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replied... "I'm afraid you have a bad case of CLAUStrophobia."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I live in Houston and am used to having people cut me off on the
highway. But this one time someone cut me off, missing my car by
inches, then flipped me the bird, to boot.

Still steamed, I noticed that we had gotten off at the same exit
and the convertible's driver had pulled into an office complex
parking lot. I pulled my car over and waited for them to leave
the parking lot and enter the building, then I entered the lot
and pulled up next to the car.

Well, as my luck would have it, I had just made a stop at the
grocery store and had a loaf of bread that I was willing to
donate to this open convertible. So I did. I threw slices of
bread in the front seat and in the back, then I drove off out of
the lot and pulled off across the street.

In a few minutes the pigeons, black birds, grackles, and sea
gulls started descending upon the open car and presumably pooping
there as well!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The second grade Sunday School class had been asked to draw a nativity scene. The teacher was a little confused when she saw Johnny's drawing. She said to him, "In your picture I see Mary, and her husband, Joseph, and of course the baby Jesus. But who is this little fat fellow in the corner?" Johnny replied, "That's Round John Virgin!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lawyer dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band.
Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says "Congratulations!!!"
"Congratulations for what?" asks the lawyer.
"Congratulations for what?!?!?" says Saint Peter. "We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old."
"But that's not true," says the lawyer. "I only lived to be forty."
"That's impossible," says Saint Peter. "We've added up your time sheets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GOD WON'T ASK....
God won't ask what kind of car you drove, but He'll ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.
God won't ask the square footage of your house, but He'll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.
God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, but He'll ask how many you helped to clothe.
God won't ask what your highest salary was, but He'll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.
God won't ask what your job title was, but He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.
God won't ask how many friends you had, but He'll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.
God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, but He'll ask how you treated your neighbors.
God won't ask about the color of your skin, but He'll ask about the content of your character.
God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation, but He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.
God won't ask how many people you forwarded this to, but He'll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with,
"Where were you the night of August 24th?"
"Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"
"Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question."
"I object!" the defense said again.
"No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."
The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."
So the prosecutor repeated the question:
"Where were you the night of August 24th?"
The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two guys are driving through Texas when they get
pulled over by a state trooper.

The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his
nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the
trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The
driver says, "Why'd you do that?

The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull
you over, you'll have your license ready."

Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around
here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and
he's clean.

He gives the guy his license back and walks around
to the passenger side and taps on the window.The
passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper
smacks him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."

The passenger says, "Huh?"

The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road
you're gonna say, "I wish that sucker would've tried
that stuff with me!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Obviously from someone with WAY too much time on their hands. . .

Whenever I get a packet of M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold
M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is
the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to
go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and
the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that
the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of
competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or
pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be
a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra
strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its
environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest
of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I
pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of
Mars, Inc., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for
breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free
1/2 pound bag of M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside
the weekend for a grand tournament. >From a field of hundreds, we will
discover the true champion.

There can be only one!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Driver's swear ..... are you listenin',
At the Mall .....folks are bitchin',
A miserable sight ..... they're sorry tonite,
Drivin' in New Jersey's TrafficLand!

Gone away ...... are your tires,
meter has ...... just expired,
They towed you away, while you shopped today,
Parkin' in New Jersey's TrafficLand!

On the Parkway we will have a breakdown,
We'll be stuck and threatened on the side,
If we're lucky, someone might come mug us,
And if we plead they may give us a ride!

Santa's sleigh ..... was impounded,
All the Elves ...... were surrounded,
He's now in a cell .... for ringin' his bell,
Living in New Jersey's TrafficLand!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Hmmm
Two cars were waiting at a stoplight.. The light turned green, but the
man didn't notice it. A woman in the car behind him is watching traffic
pass around them. The woman begins pounding on her steering wheel and
yelling at the man to move. The man doesn't move.

The woman is going ballistic inside her car, ranting and raving at the
man, pounding on her steering wheel and dash and the light turns yellow.

The woman begins to blow the car horn, flips him off, and scream curses
at the man. The man, hearing the commotion, looks up, sees the yellow
light and accelerates through the intersection just as the light turns
red.

The woman is beside herself, screaming in frustration as she misses her
chance to get through the intersection. As she is still in mid-rant she
hears a tap on her window and looks up into the barrel of a gun held by
a very serious looking policeman.

The police officer tells her to shut off her car while keeping both
hands in sight. She complies, speechless at what is happening. After she
shuts off the engine, the police officer orders her to exit her car with
her hands up. She gets out of the car and he orders her to turn and
place her hands on her car. She turns, places her hands on the car roof
and quickly is cuffed and hustled into the patrol car. She is too
bewildered by the chain of events to ask any questions and is driven to
the police station where she is fingerprinted, photographed, searched,
booked and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, a police officer approaches the cell and opens
the door for her. She is escorted back to the booking desk where the
original officer is waiting with her personal effects.

He hands her the bag containing her things, and says, "I'm really sorry
for this mistake. But you see, I pulled up behind your car while you
were blowing your horn, flipping that guy off, and cussing a blue streak
at the car in front of you, and then I noticed the "Choose Life" license
plate holder, the "What Would Jesus Do" and "Follow Me to Sunday School"
bumper stickers, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the
trunk, so naturally I assumed you had stolen the car."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady was walking down the street to work, and she saw a parrot on a
perch in front of a pet store.
    The parrot said to her, "Hey, lady, you are really ugly." Well, as
you can imagine, the lady wa s furious! She stormed past the store to
her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot, and it said to her,
"Hey, lady, you are really ugly."
    She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "WOW, lady, you are
still really ugly."
    The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that
she
    would sue the store and kill the bird if the manager didn't take
care
    of this problem.
The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure
the parrot didn't say it again.
    When the lady walked past the store that day after work, the parrot
    called to her, "Hey lady."
She stopped and said, "Yes?"
    The bird paused, then said, "You know."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged, models deposed (and eventually disfigured)
and dry cleaners depressed?

Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed
and depleted! Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball
players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer
operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, the
BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will
eventually decompose. As a student, I spent all my time wishing
to be detested and degraded.

On a more positive note though, perhaps we can hope politicians
will be devoted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My sister and I, visiting our uncle in the hospital, had
brought along a treat for him. Because we weren't
sure if he was on a restricted diet, we asked at the
nursing station and were told it was alright to give
him the brownies.
As we turned to leave, an doctor held up his hand to
stop us. "I'm here," he advised, "for quality control!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The hospital where I was a nurse added our photographs
to the identification tags we wore. A consequence of this
was that many of us had stopped introducing ourselves,
assuming the ID tag did it for us. So when I approached
the receptionist in another department one day, I simply
fingered my ID tag and said, "I'm a tad early for my
appointment."
She indicated I should take a seat and then announced
to her boss over the intercom, "There's a Mr. Tad Early
here to see you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently moved into a new apartment, and there was
this switch on the wall that didn't do anything. So anytime
I had nothing to do, I'd just flick that switch up and down...
up and down...up and down. Then one day I got a call from
the woman who lives in the apartment next door. It just
said, "Cut it out!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were. "I'm so tough",
said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week".
"Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can wear out a pair of
jeans in a day".
"That's nothing", said the third boy. "When my parents take me to see my
grandma and grampa, I can wear them out in a hour".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today's Links:

IS IT CHRISTMAS YET?
http://www.isitchristmas.com/

The Redneck Reindeer
http://carolynsplace.com/fun/The_Redneck_Reindeer.html

Holiday Traditions

http://www.californiamall.com/holidaytraditions/

A Picture Review of the Chevrolet from 1916 to 1942
http://www.oldcarandtruckpictures.com/Chevrolet/

Apples & More
http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/apples/

Women Of Film
http://glumbert.com/wii/view.php?name=womenfilm

Game Silver Asteroids

Futuristic asteroids game with realistic looking rocks

and silver asteroids.
http://www.gamescraze.com/games/?g=silverasteroids.swf

You can join The Funnies
To subscribe, Click on link below
http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies
published 5 x weekly.No censorship
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FREE FOOD FOR HOMELESS DOGS
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/

About FreeRice
FreeRice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

-3-

Hubert Long, music executive, born Poteet, TX 1923. Inducted CMHF 1979.

Ferlin Husky a.k.a. "Simon Crum, a.k.a. Terry Preston" born Flat River, MO 1927.

Dick Reinhart, age 41, western swing vocalist, died 1948.

John Frost of "The Four Guys," born Eagleville, TN 1949.

Paul Gregg, "Restless Heart," born NYC 1954.

Buck Owens recorded "Foolin" Around," 1960.

Lew Childre, age 60, Grand Ole Opry, died in Foley, AL 1961.

Connie Smith's "Once A Day" topped the charts 1964.

NBC aired Elvis' TV Special in 1968.

Bob Wills' last recording session was held in Dallas, TX on the 3^{rd & 4th, 1973.}

Dolly Parton's "Here You Come Again," went to # 1 1977.

The Highwaymen begin a tour in Australia, New Zeland, and the Far East 1995.

Thomas "Grady" Martin, age 72, 'A' Team session guitarist/session leader, died from a heart attack 2001. Grady was one of the most influential guitarists in country music history. Prior to his death, Martin was asked who was the most important and interesting person he had ever met. His reply, "Jesus."

WestSide Records released Moe Bandy's two-CD set "I Just Started Hatin' Cheatin' Songs Today/It Was Always So Easy" 2002.

A memorial service for Don Gibson, was held at the Country Music Hall of Fame 2003.

Trace and Rhonda Adkins welcomed Trinity Lee Adkins, their third daughter, to the family 2004.

**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Garth Brooks sells out five LA shows

Garth Brooks, the number 1 selling solo artist in U.S. history, rewrote the record books by selling out 5 Los Angeles concerts totaling about 85,000 tickets in less than one hour Saturday - the first time any performer sold out that many shows in the Los Angeles arena in 1 day. The five shows over two days in late January will raise money for the recent fire victims and for the future of fire fighting in the state of California.
"It's a beautiful thing when everyone pulls together," Brooks said. "California just raised a ton of money for their own. I'm so proud to be part of this."

Brooks will play on Friday, Jan. 25, 2008 at 6 and 10 p.m. and then on Saturday, Jan. 26 at 1, 5 and 9 p.m., believed to be the first-ever triple header in a U.S. arena.

Brooks played nine sold-out shows in November in Kansas City to promote "The Ultimate Hits," a best of collection with four new songs.

All proceeds from the concerts sponsored by American Express and official media sponsor the Los Angeles Times will be donated to the "Southern California 2008 Fire Relief Campaign," a campaign of the McCormick Tribune Foundation. The funds will be granted to agencies providing aid to victims and the first responders of the Los Angeles and San Diego wildfires in addition to providing financial assistance to California firefighting departments and organizations in need of additional or replacement firefighting equipment to better perform their heroic duties. The Foundation will also be responsible for granting administration and recordkeeping.

"The fire fighters love Garth...the fans love Garth and we love Garth," said Timothy J. Leiweke, president & CEO AEG and STAPLES Center. "Garth Brooks is the only artist that could have done this and, one of the only artists that would have done this. He continues to make history in our industry. I am proud to call him our partner but even more proud to call him my friend."

Brooks becomes the only artist in Staples Center history to sell-out five concerts in one day and the only artist to play five concerts in two days.

ACMs set for May event

The Academy of Country Music announced today the 43rd annual Academy of Country Music awards ceremony will be broadcast live from Las Vegas Sunday, May 18 8 p.m. live eastern/delayed pacific on CBS.
This is the first year the ACMs will occur on a Sunday, the third year the show will be based at MGM Grand Garden Arena and the sixth year the show will be held in Las Vegas.

"Las Vegas is an ideal place for the Academy to showcase country music's best and we couldn't be happier to have the show on a Sunday night," said Bob Romeo, Executive Director of the Academy of Country Music. "We look forward to returning to the MGM Grand for the show and - as has become our tradition - we have multiple nights of country music scheduled on Fremont Street, a star-studded motorcycle ride and our world famous post awards concert, the All-Star Jam. It is truly Country's Night To Shine."

**** Amy's Kitchen ****

HONEY-KISSED WINTER VEGGIES

2-1/4 cups acorn squash, pared, seeded and cut into chunks
1 turnip, pared and cut into chunks
1 cup julienned carrots
1 small onion, halved and quartered
1/4 cup honey
2 Tbsp. margarine, melted
1 tsp. grated orange peel
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg

DIRECTIONS:
Steam squash, turnip, carrot and onion over water in covered
skillet about 5 minutes or until tender. Drain. Combine honey,
margarine, orange peel and nutmeg. Drizzle over vegetables.
Toss & serve.

Yield: 6 Servings

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Full Moon

As is implied by the very word "lunatic", it has long been held
that the full moon makes animals, including humans, go crazy.
Even today, you will be anecdoted to death about the moon's
mysterious biochemical power over our moods and life processes.
You'll hear about something that's been called "the biological
tides", the notion that because our bodies are 80 percent water,
we must be profoundly affected by the moon's gravitational pull
just as the oceans are. You'll also hear that more births occur
around the full moon and that the murder rate rises precipitously.
Is there anything to any of this? Well, yes and no?but mostly no.
Even though it's more than 250,000 miles away from us, our only
natural satellite does exert a certain influence on the mating
patterns of animals?especially marine animals, which should not
be too surprising, as the moon also governs the tides. The
reproductive cycles of sea urchins, fiddler crabs, oysters, and
the California grunion, to cite just a few examples, are
intimately tied to the lunar calendar. Dive the Great Barrier
Reef on the evening of the full moon, and you'll be treated to
the amazing spectacle of thousands of coral polyps simultaneously
releasing clouds of sperm and eggs in a kind of psychedelic
mass orgy timed to coincide with the month's highest tide. Then
too, many species of terrestrial wildlife seem to be more active
on the night of a full moon, but most likely they're simply
responding to the fact that a full-moon evening stays brighter,
and brighter longer, than other nights, thus affording better
vision for mating, hunting, and foraging.

~source used: "Why Months Hate Thomas Edison"
by Hampton Sides

****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Everyday, I beat my own previous record for number of
consecutive days that I've stayed alive.

LAST CALL Y'ALL
A Barbie You Can Relate To
Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see
her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and
magnifying mirror.
See Ya.......Jim
Hey Claude G. sure hope you enjoy the Funnies
Sylvie, Thanks for your hard work, thank your hubby too.
HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
I've learned that the prayer I need to say most often is, "Lord, please keep
your arm around my shoulder and your hand Over My Mouth."
AND I'LL BE FOREVER GRATEFUL
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Hey, Let's be careful out there
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PLEASE
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