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Man Awake, Talking After 47-Floor Fall By DAVID B. CARUSO Associated Press Writer NEW YORK - Doctors say they have never seen anything like it: A window washer who fell 47 stories from the roof of a Manhattan skyscraper is now awake, talking to his family and expected to walk again. Alcides Moreno, 37, plummeted almost 500 feet in a Dec. 7 scaffolding collapse that killed his brother. Somehow, Moreno lived, and doctors at New York-Presbyterian Hospital/Weill Cornell Medical Center announced Thursday that his recovery has been astonishing. He has movement in all his limbs. He is breathing on his own. And on Christmas Day, he opened his mouth and spoke for the first time since the accident. His wife, Rosario Moreno, cried as she thanked the doctors and nurses who kept him alive. "Thank God for the miracle that we had," she said. "He keeps telling me that it just wasn't his time." Dr. Herbert Pardes, the hospital's president, described Moreno's condition when he arrived for treatment as "a complete disaster." Both legs and his right arm and wrist were broken in several places. He had severe injuries to his chest, his abdomen and his spinal column. His brain was bleeding. Everything was bleeding, it seemed. In those first critical hours, doctors pumped 24 units of donated blood into his body - about twice his entire blood volume. They gave him plasma and platelets and a drug to stimulate clotting and stop the hemorrhaging. They inserted a catheter into his brain to reduce swelling and cut open his abdomen to relieve pressure on his organs. Moreno was at the edge of consciousness when he was brought in. Doctors sedated him, performed a tracheotomy and put him on a ventilator. His condition was so unstable, doctors worried that even a mild jostle might kill him, so they performed his first surgery without moving him to an operating room. Nine orthopedic operations followed to piece together his broken body. Yet, even when things were at their worst, the hospital's staff marveled at his luck. Incredibly, Moreno's head injuries were relatively minor for a fall victim. Neurosurgeon John Boockvar said the window washer also managed to avoid a paralyzing spinal cord injury, even though he suffered a shattered vertebra. "If you are a believer in miracles, this would be one," said the hospital's chief of surgery, Dr. Philip Barie. New York-Presbyterian has treated people who have tumbled from great heights before, including a patient who survived a 19-story fall, but most of those tales end sadly. The death rate from even a three-story fall is about 50 percent, Barie said. People who fall more than 10 stories almost never survive. "Forty-seven floors is virtually beyond belief," Pardes said. Science may never be able to explain what protected Moreno when the platform he and his brother were using atop an Upper East Side apartment tower broke free and fell to the ground. Edgar Moreno, 30, of Linden N.J., died instantly. He was buried in Ecuador, where the brothers are from. Alcides Moreno, whom his wife described as strong and athletic, may have clung to his scaffolding platform as it dropped. It is possible that the metal platform offered him some protection, although doctors said they were unsure how. An investigation into the cause of the accident continues. Rosario Moreno said that her husband remembers little of the fall but that he didn't need to be told his brother had died. The injured window washer spent about three weeks on a ventilator, unable to speak, and initially his only means of communication was by touch. "He wanted to touch my face, touch my hair," Rosario Moreno said. She would take his hand and hold it to her skin. Then, one day, he reached out and touched one of the nurses. Rosario Moreno said that when she heard about it, she jokingly lectured her husband to keep his hands to himself. He answered in English, "What did I do?" "It stunned me," she said, "because I didn't know he could speak." There is still a rough road ahead for the tough New Jersey man, a father of three children, ages 14, 8 and 6. He was scheduled to undergo another spinal surgery on Friday, and he will need another operation to reconstruct his abdominal wall. There is a chance he could develop complications, even life-threatening ones, during the months ahead. Moreno will remain in the hospital for at least a few more weeks, doctors said. After that, he will need extensive physical rehabilitation. It may be another year before doctors know how much he will improve. The medical staff was guarded Thursday about his prospects for returning to a normal life. Doctors said they believe he will walk, but they also suggested that some of his injuries are likely to be lifelong. "We're optimistic for a very substantial recovery, eventually," Barie said Rosario Moreno said she knows this much for sure: His days as a window washer are over. "I told him, 'You're not going back to work there,'" she said. ********************************************************************************** They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable. But couldn't something be worked out, such as being moderately rich and just a little moody. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Car Repairs" We spend our money on new cars, Hoping for a break, From car repairs and all such stuff Those things our money take. Before too long, we find we're wrong Back to the shop we go. We get a bill that robs our thrill, And almost all our dough. Back on the road, we head for home, Assured that all is well; We see the smoke, it blinds our view- What is that awful smell? We grab the wheel and pull off quick, Our nerves are on the border. Then we discover what's the matter The rad is dry-no water! When that is done, we feel relief, We head on down the trail. "What's that," you ask, "behind us now?" A cop is on my tail. He tickets me, but it's not fair; I don't believe it's right; He said to me, it was my fault, I had just one tail light. Down the road, it's getting late, I'm madder now than fire; Almost home, three miles away, I have a flat tire. Once that is fixed, I drive on home, Pull in my yard to stay. "Repossess it, come and get it, I'm not going to pay!" And so it is, the car is gone, Let's sit and have a talk. But if we want to go somewhere, By golly, we will walk. Goofproof ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I'm beginning to understand exactly how the state lottery helps education," a guy told his neighbor. "Every time I buy a losing ticket, I get a little smarter." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pilot to airline passengers: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that we have a hijacker on board. The good news is, he wants to go to the French Riviera." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They were watching a TV soap opera, and he became irritated by the way his wife was taking it to heart. "How can you sit there and cry about the made-up troubles of people you've never even met?" he demanded. "The same way you can jump up and scream when some guy you've never met scores a touchdown," she replied. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An old man says to his wife, "You know, I think it's time for us to have another baby." "Are you crazy?" says his wife. "Well, just think," he says. "I used to complain about having to get up at two o'clock in the morning to feed the baby, but these days, I get up about that time anyway!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Catherine was taking two of her grandsons on their very first train ride from Dayton, Ohio to Washington, DC. A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before. Catherine bought each one a bag. The first one eagerly tore open the bag and popped one into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his brother and said: "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." "Why not?" replied the curious brother. "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh, No!" he gasped as he surveyed the disaster before him. Never in his 40 years of life had he seen anything like it. How anyone could have survived he did not know. He could only hope that somewhere amid the overwhelming destruction he would find his 16-year-old son. Only the slim hope of finding David kept him from turning and fleeing the scene. He took a deep breath and proceeded. Walking was virtually impossible with so many things strewn across his path. He moved ahead slowly. "David! David!" he whispered to himself. He tripped and almost fell several times. He heard someone, or something, move. At least he thought he did. Perhaps, he was just hoping he did. He shook his head and felt his gut tighten. He couldn't understand how this could have happened. There was some light but not enough to see very much. Something cold and wet brushed against his hand. He jerked it away. In desperation, he took another step then cried out, "David!" From a nearby pile of unidentified material, he heard his son. "Yes, Dad," he said, in a voice so weak it could hardly be heard. "It's time to get up and get ready for school," the man sighed, "and, for heaven's sake, clean up this room." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ During a training flight takeoff, as I was tightening a loose hydraulic connection, I suddenly saw that an engine was on fire. Wrench in hand, I turned, tapped the pilot calmly on the shoulder with it and told him, "We're on fire." He soon had us safely back on the ground. A short time later I was modestly explaining my great presence of mind in a trying situation to an admiring audience. Just then two medics passed with our pilot on a stretcher. Startled, I called out, "What's the matter with him?" "Broken shoulder!" was the reply ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be sayin' a mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church, but there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature." Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?" Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn`t ya tell me the dog was Catholic?" ~~~~~~~~~GOOFPROOF~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bubba and Clem find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the police station. "What if one of them explodes before we get there?" asks Clem. "Don't worry about it," says Bubba. "We'll just lie and tell them we only found two." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was told *NEVER* to recommend one of our doctors over another, but was simply to state who had available appointments. One day a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially. "I'm a nurse," she whispered, "and I know the staff *ALWAYS* knows which doctors are good and which aren't. So... with that in mind, who do you think I should see?" Knowing my immediate supervisor was listening close by, I tried to sound most professional when I told the nurse lady.... "Oh, I'm sorry," I replied. "I can't recommend *ANY* of our doctors."      "Well, you must know!" she said, heading for the door-- giving me a backward glance and a wink on her way out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused, "Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn't seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run ~~~~~~~~~NORM~~~~~~~~~~~~ A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, "hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they smoke a few doobies. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "what's the matter with you?" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, when he looks up and says "hey you!" The Monkey looks down and says "Man dude.......how much water did you drink?!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NORM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To The Kids Who Survived the 30's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or airbags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, bread and butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video taped movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no internet or internet chat rooms..........We had FRIENDS and we went outside and found them. We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live in us forever. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little league had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! And YOU are one of them! CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!~~~~~~~~~NORM~~~~~~~~~~ Marriage CASE 1 Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. CASE 2 At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man" CASE 3 Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. CASE 4 Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. CASE 5 A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it." CASE 6 Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad : "That happens in most countries son." CASE 7 Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late." CASE 8 A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes. CASE 9 When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. CASE 10 Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. CASE 11 After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." CASE 12 A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds : "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds of letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." CASE 13 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing : either the car or his wife is new. CASE 14 A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "He was a multi-millionaire." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A couple goes to see a marriage counselor. The husband starts first and seems to do nothing but complain about how badly he is treated by his wife. The woman than tells the marriage counselor that her husband's complaint that he 'leads a dog's life' is probably well founded. . .     "I mean, after all..... he comes into the house with muddy feet," she says, "tracks across my clean floors, barks at nothing, growls at his food and makes himself comfortable on my best furniture!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mr. Combs had a furniture store specializing in ornate antiques in the baroque style. He had walking pneumonia last month but was at the store anyway. He was in one of the baroque style chairs rubbing Vicks Vaporub on his aching chest when he serendipitously discovered that the soothing ointment gave the furniture a wonderful, deep, rich shine. He immediately told the other furniture store owners since their furniture was more modern in style and they were not competitors. Soon he got reports that the Vicks treatment not only failed to work on the modern furniture, but ruined some of it. Mr. Combs is very unpopular now and his only consolation is that he learned one important rule: 'If it ain't baroque, don't Vicks it' . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I got a package envelope in the mail the other day that had written on the front, "Photographs: Do Not Bend." Underneath the mailman wrote, "Oh, yes they do. **** ON THIS DAY **** Brownie Crumbs Mrs.Baughman was my 6th grade Sunday School teacher. One morning, she brought a pan of brownies to our class. As the goodies sat over by her chair, she gave each child a slip of paper marked with a household expense: house payment, utility bill, phone bill, entertainment, etc. My slip had a car payment. Before long, Mrs. Baughman picked up the tray of brownies and began naming the expenses written on the papers. As we gave her our expenses, she redeemed each one for a brownie. "Car payment" she announced. I jumped up to get my brownie from the pan. Finally the last brownie had disappeared. But one boy named Donald still held his unredeemed slip. "God!" called Mrs.Baughman. Donald came forward hoping the teacher had one more brownie hidden some where. With a knife Mrs.Baughman scraped the crumbs from the bottom of the pan into Donald's napkin. He got a pretty raw deal, I thought just crumbs. "The brownies represent your money", the teacher explained to us. "If you don't give God his share right away, He probably won't get anything except maybe the crumbs." I never forgot that illustration. The day my friend Donald got only the brownie crumbs, even as a child I learned that God should have the first right to everything I have. In the years since Mrs.Baughman class I have struggled with giving and priorities, but whenever I recall the "Crummy Sunday School Lesson", I know who should and must always come first in my life! Author Unknown * The Pastor's Cat This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it, the vision of that poor cat just amuses me. Hope the story leaves a bright spot in your day. Whoever said the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor? Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went "bong!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air-out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business. A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?" She replied, "You won't believe this," and then told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it." She told the pastor, "I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her." Never underestimate the Power of God and His unique sense of humor. You may contact Bob Raines drbobr-@juno.com if you want. He is willing to pray for you and help you with Spiritual Advice if you want him ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A fool and his money are soon parted. The rest of us wait until income tax time. ***************************************** Todays links Kool Graphics http://www.geocities.com/kool_graphics/ Snag-A-Tag http://www.geocities.com/snagatag/ How To Convert And Compress Wavs http://www.pianoladynancy.com/convert_compress_wavs.htm Identity Theft http://www.usdoj.gov/criminal/fraud/websites/idtheft.html Consumer Information Center http://www.savvyconsumer.org/ Recycle Your Tree http://www.christmastree.org/recycle_program.cfm