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The Funnies are
strictly a Double opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM  From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A. Welcome to The Funnies est.7-4-2000 "Friends are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However, They are, PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG I always know God won't give me more than I can
handle,
FRIDAY JANUARY 18,2008 Yup, Sho'Nuff, It'S Comin'!!! Three
strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge
in
El Paso, Texas, while awaiting their respective flights. One is an
American Indian from Lame
Deer, Montana; another is a Texas cowboy on his way to Dallas
for a livestock show; and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab
student,newly
arrived in the U.S. from the Middle
East.
Their
discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the
two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical
Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull. The
cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots
on
a magazine table, and tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his
face.
The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes. Finally,
the American Indian clears his throat and softly he
speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are
few."
The
Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward. "Once my people were few,"he
sneers,"and now we are many. Why do you suppose that
is?"
The cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth,
and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl: "That's
'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's
a-comin'!" So do I buddy,So do I Vonda like much. Once I was outta there, I had no particular desire to ever contribute to their latest fund drive or future athletic events. Sure enough, Alumni Affairs staff called my folks, got my current number and tracked me down. 'So, what have you been doing with yourself?' the perky alumnus asked. I responded, "Oh, not a lot. Just stealing cars and running moonshine." They've never called back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A boy who was a witness to a crime was on the witness stand in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say in court?" "Yes Sir", answered the boy "I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?" "My father, sir." "And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly. "He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I stuck to the truth, everything would be all right." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A certain lawyer was quite wealthy and had a summer house in the country, to which he retreated for several weeks of the year. Each summer, the lawyer would invite a different friend of his (no, that's not the punch line) to spend a week or two up at this place, which happened to be in a backwoods section of Maine. On one particular occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to stay with him. The friend, eager to get a freebee off a lawyer, agreed. Well, they had a splendid time in the country - rising early and living in the great outdoors. Early one morning, the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian companion went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch, gathering blueberries and raspberries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge Bears - a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. He lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast has he could, and got the local backwoods sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and SHOT THE FEMALE. "Whatdya do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!" "Exactly," replied the sheriff, "and would YOU believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the Male?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Texan is bragging to a Rhode Islander. "In Texas," he drawls, "you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall." "Yeah", replies the Yankee, "We have slow trains in Rhode Island too." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks." "I've never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on." The doctor asked. "That's nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee." The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say "Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!!" "Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded. "Wait Doc, that's not it. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him. The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks, just 5 bucks. PLEASE, if you will." I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I can tell you that your leg seems to be broke in three places." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My wife Delores never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One day she called the orderly room to speak with me. The person who answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall. "He can be reached at 4700, Ma'am," the soldier advised. With a sigh of exasperation, my wife responded, "And just what time is that?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A fellow went to the doctor who told him that he had a bad illness and only a year to live. So he decided to talk to his pastor. After the man explained his situation, he asked his Pastor if there was anything he could do. "What you should do is go out and buy a late '70 or early '80 model Dodge Pickup," said the Pastor. "Then go get married to the ugliest woman you can find, and buy yourselves an old trailer house in the panhandle of Oklahoma." The fellow asked, "Will this help me live longer?" "No," said the pastor, "but it will make what time you do have seem like forever." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Down around the Texas-Louisiana border, there has been a recent rash of illegal cock fighting, with quite a bit of gambling. The director of the Louisiana State Police finally bent to public pressure and sent an investigator to get to the bottom of the problem. The crack investigator, Boudreaux, took an unmarked cruiser and headed for Mamou. He was gone for two days and arrived back in Baton Rouge to report to the director. He reported that there were three major groups involved in the illegal cock fighting - Texas Aggies, Cajuns and the Mafia. Of course, the boss wanted to know how he surmised this, and he replied that he knew there were Texas Aggies involved when he saw someone enter a duck into the fight. He knew that there were Cajuns involved when someone bet on the duck. He then stated that he was absolutely positive that the Mafia was involved when the duck won! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ While visiting our daughter, Alexandra, in Philadelphia, my husband and I browsed through a thrift shop. I bought a dress that looked like it was made for me--just the right size and colour. I knew it had never been worn because it still needed snaps. I was sure that Alexandra, who loved sewing, could finish it for me. Back at her house, I went into the living room to model the dress for her and asked, "Would you put the snaps on for me, dear?" Seeing me, Alexandra burst into laughter. "Mom," she said, "I made that dress! I didn't feel like finishing it, so I gave it away." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move if he's not on it." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My niece bought her five-year-old daughter Ruthie a hamster. One day he escaped from his cage. The family turned the house upside-down and finally found him. Several weeks later, while Ruthie was at school, he disappeared again. My niece searched frantically but never found the critter. Hoping to make the loss less painful for Ruthie, my niece took the cage out of her room. When Ruthie came home from school that afternoon, she climbed into her mother's lap. "We have a serious problem," she announced. "Not only is my hamster gone again, but this time he took his cage." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I had just moved to an address between Sunset Ave. and Sunset Blvd., one of Sacramento's major streets, and was explaining to a clerk where my home was located for billing purposes. "I live between Sunrise and Sunset," I told her. "Oh, honey," she knowingly replied, "we all do." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After the recent Anti-trust hearings, Bill Gates recently compared the software market with the soft drink market. He says Microsoft is struggling to survive but that the beverage giant will be on top forever because the Department of Justice doesn't pick on them. Of course, Bill should be careful not to give Coke any ideas. We might end up with a scenario like the following: Joe: (walking into McDonalds) Hi, I'd like a Big Mac. Cashier: Okay, here's your Big Mac and here's your Coke. That'll be $3.99. Joe: Uh, I don't want a Coke. Cashier: Sorry, they're bundled. Joe: What? I'm not paying for a Coke! Cashier: You don't; the Coke is free. Joe: But wasn't a Big Mac $2.49 last week? Cashier: Sure, but this latest Big Mac is far more innovative. It's got integrated Coke! Joe: I already bought a Snapple across the street... I'm not going to drink the Coke. Cashier: Then you can't have the burger. Joe: Okay, fine, I will pay the $3.99 and throw the Coke away. Cashier: Oh, you can't do that. They're seamlessly integrated. Totally inseparable. Joe: How can that be? They're two totally separate things! Cashier: No, watch. (takes Big Mac, dunks it in a tank of Coke) See? Joe: Why did you just do that?! Cashier: It's a benefit to the consumer. Otherwise you'd end up with two different, inconsistent tastes. This way you're assured of a continuous taste across all your foods. Joe: Aaarrgh! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A pretty young blonde stood at the bank cashier's window and smiled. "I'd like to cash this check, please," she said, handing it over. The teller examined the check, then said: "Could you identify yourself, Miss?" For a moment the lovely girl's brow creased over, then with a bright look she fumbled in her handbag and producing a mirror, glanced in it and with relief said, "Yes! It's me, all right!" The clerk said, "No Ma'am, you misunderstood me. We require a photo identification." The girl searched her bag again and found a picture with a group of young children and an adult. "This is my kindergarten class photo," she explained. "That's me, third from the left in the bottom row." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I work in a government department that sends out notices with a family's net income shown. One day I received a call from a puzzled woman. The income listed for her husband was triple what it ought to have been. Checking her file, I realized that she had written the wrong social-insurance number for her husband on her income-tax form, thereby marrying herself to another man. I explained this to her and requested her authorization to correct the error. She was silent for a moment before she asked, "Is the other man good-looking? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A mother took her six-year old daughter to the ballet. This was the first time the little girl had ever seen a ballet and she watched wide-eyed as the ballerinas pranced around the stage on their toes. When the ballet was over, the mother asked her daughter if she had any questions. 'Yes, Mommy,' the little girl replied, 'Wouldn't it be easier if they just hired taller dancers?' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After an exhausting weekend, I woke up on Monday morning and sleepily packed lunch for my eight-year-old. When I got home from work late that day, she handed me a note from her teacher, requesting I see her. "What's this all about?" I asked sternly. Opening her lunch box, my daughter showed me the drink I had given her that morning. It was a can of beer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I put some turnips, his least-favorite vegetable, on my eleven-year- everything. He cleaned his plate, except for the turnip. I pointed out to him that if he'd eaten it earlier, he wouldn't have been left with its taste in his mouth at the end of the meal. Thoughtfully, he replied, "I guess I was just trying to delay the inedible." Three Irishmen and three Englishmen are travelling by train to a football match in London. At the station, the three English each buy a ticket and watch as the three Irish buy just one ticket between them. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?", asks one of the English. "Watch and learn," answers one of the Irish. They al board the train. The English take their respective seats but all three Irish cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed the conductor arrives to collect the tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens just a crac and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The English are mightily impressed by this, so after the game, they decide to copy the Irish (like always !) on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip... To their astonishment, the Irish don't buy a ticket at all !! "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed English. "Watch and learn..." says one Paddy. When they board the train the three Irish cram into a toilet and soon after the three English pile into another nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Irish leaves the toilet and sneaks across to the toilet where the English are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please..." TODAY'S LINKS: PIANOLADY Nancy w/Lighthouse on the Shore http://www.pianoladynancy.com/lighthouse.htm Retirement
Toilet Museum Weird Recipes
http://www.bertc.com/recipes.htm#Weird%20&%20Different Sandwich Builder ( interactive)
Spirograph!
Game Disc Battle
One lap too many MOM'S ANSWERING
MACHINE published 5 x weekly.No censorship ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PLEASE FREE FOOD FOR HOMELESS DOGS http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. http://www.thebreastcancersite.com Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation http://www.organdonor.gov/ About FreeRice FreeRice is a sister site of the world poverty site http://www.freerice.com/about.html Poverty.com No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim THIE WEEK AT THE OPRY When you join us for Opry at the Ryman this weekend for Charlie Daniels' induction, you'll also see performances by Trace Adkins, Montgomery Gentry, Charley Pride, Marty Stuart, Connie Smith, Mel Tillis, Del McCoury Band, and more! Following The Opry listen to America's 2nd longest running radio show, still being broadcast every
Saturday night on WSM 650-AM, following the Grand Ole Opry...Ernest Tubbs's
midnight jamboree. **** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****
-18- 1912 - Linda Parker
1912~1935, cast member of the WLS National Barn Dance as a part of the
Cumberland Ridge Runners, was born Covington, Kentucky. Parker was the first
female artist to have a successful solo career in country
music.
1926 - Bobby Edwards
singer, songwriter was born” Robert Moncrief” in Anniston, Alabama. Bobby has
been inducted into the Alabama Music Hall of Fame.
1938 - Hargus “Pig”
Robbins, session pianist, born in Rhea County, Tennessee.
1941 - Bobby Goldsboro
singer, songwriter, guitarist and TV host, born Marianna, Florida. Between
1968~1982 Bobby charted 24 country singles on Billboards chart, including
“Honey” which went to #1 in 1968 and provides Bobby with a gold
record.
1954 - Jim Reeves’ single
“Bimbo” topped the charts. The Rod Morris penned tune remained at #1 for 3
weeks, and on the charts for 21 weeks. At this point in his career at Abbott
records Jim was batting 1,000. His first song for Abbott was “Mexican Joe” a #1
hit for 9 weeks, and Bimbo was his second release. His next hit came on Fabor
Records “I Love You” a duet with Ginny Wright in 1954 that only made it to #3.
During Jim’s lifetime he charted 48 hit singles 1953-1964. After his death he
charted another 34 hit singles, all on RCA 1964-1984. As you can see, RCA had
some very creative employees working for Chet Atkins.
1956 - George “Mark” Collie
singer, songwriter, guitarist, and actor was born in Waynesboro,
Tennessee.
1960 - Columbia released
Johnny Horton’s “Sink The Bismarck.” Tillman Franks and Johnny Horton wrote the
song, and it topped out at #6, remaining on the charts for 15 weeks. This was
“The Singing Fisherman’s” 10th chart single. Tillman Franks was Johnny’s
manager, and played in his band. He was in the car when Johnny was killed in a
car wreck while returning home from a gig in Texas. Johnny Horton died in 1964.
He should have been inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame forty years
ago. He had the talent, but no political connections on Music
Row.
1960 - The Louvin Brothers
released “Nellie Moved To Town.”
1972 - Loretta Lynn's Decca
album "Loretta Lynn's Greatest Hits" was certified Gold by the RIAA. This album
was released in 1968, and topped out at #6, remaining on the charts for 40
weeks. One single from this album, "Don't Come Home A 'Drinkin' (With Lovin' On
Your Mind)" went to #1 on the singles chart.
1975 - Bob Luman, Boots
Randolph, Lulu Roman, and Barbi Benton were featured guests on "Hee
Haw."
1978 - Roy Orbison had open
heart surgery on multiple blocked arteries in Nashville. Roy died as the result
of a heart attack in 1988, at age 52. Roy Orbison was laid to rest in Westwood
Memorial Park, Los Angeles, California. The Roy Orbison story is one of pain and
heartbreak. His first wife Claudette was killed while riding her motorcycle a
short distance in front of Roy, when a truck ran over her. Roy wrote a song
about Claudette, and it was recorded by the Everly Brothers. He lost two of his
children in a house fire, while he was on tour in Europe. At that time he lived
next door to John and June Carter Cash at Old Hickory Lake. His faith carried
him through a lot of hard times, but I believe Roy was ready move on. Roy
Orbison was Elvis Presley’s favorite singer. I believe that was an excellent
choice.
1978 - Johnny Paycheck’s
“Take This Job and Shove It” topped the charts. John charted 60 hit singles on
Billboards Country charts over the years, but this David Allan Coe penned tune
was his only #1. Johnny Paycheck died broke in 2003 from emphysema, at the age
of 64. George and Nancy Jones provided a gravesite for their friend in
Nashville’s Memorial Park Cemetery.
1980 - Capricorn Records
filed for bankruptcy.
1980 - The 7th annual
American Music Awards show was broadcast from California. Country music artists
winning trophies included Crystal Gayle, Barbara Mandrell, Kenny Rogers, and the
Statler Brothers.
1993 - Capitol Records
released Hoyt Axton’s album “American Originals.”
1994 - Atlantic Records
released John Michael Montgomery’s single “I Swear.” The song had charted in
December 1993, after disc jockeys had discovered the song on John’s album
“Kickin’ It Up.” The single and the album both went to #1.
1994 - Eddie Hill
1921~1994, age 74, singer, songwriter, musician, DJ, and TV host, died today.
Eddie was inducted into the CMDJHF 1975.
1996 - Lisa Marie Presley
filed for divorce from Michael Jackson.
2005 - Darryl Worley’s
single “Awful Beautiful Life” topped the charts.
2008 - Martina McBride continued her Waking Up Laughing tour with a
string of nationwide arena dates starting tonight in Evansville, Indiana. Jack
Ingram and Lady Antebellum are opening the shows.
-19-
1904 - Leo Soileau Cajun
fiddler, born Ville Platte, Louisiana.
1911 - Ken Nelson, Capitol
Records producer, author, radio announcer and founding member of the Country
Music Association was born in Caledonia, Minnesota. Ken was inducted into the
CMHF 2001.
1919 - Rollin “Oscar”
Sullivan, of “Lonzo and Oscar,” born Edmonton, Kentucky.
1933 - Stu Phillips of the
Grand Ole Opry was born Montreal, Quebec, Canada.
1939 - Phil Everly was born
Philip Everly in Chicago, Illinois. Along with brother Don, the Everly’s found
fame in multiple genres. They became members of the Grand Ole Opry in 1957. They
were inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1986, the NSHF 2001, the
CMHF in 2001, and finally the RHOF. The brothers were presented with the
Grammy’s Lifetime Achievement Award in 1997.
1946 - Dolly Parton, born
Locast Ridge, Tennessee. Dolly became a member of the Grand Ole Opry in 1969,
Inducted into the NSHF 1986, and the CMHF 1999. Dolly was presented with The
National Medal of Arts by President Bush in 2005.
1953 - Marty Robbins moved
to Nashville, and joined the Grand Ole Opry.
1954 - George Jones, age
22, recorded his first session for Starday Records.
1957 - Pat Boone,
son-in-law of Red Foley, and father of Debbie Boone, sang at President Dwight D.
Eisenhower’s Inaugural Ball.
1957 - Johnny Cash made his
network TV debut on The Jackie Gleason Show on CBS.
1958 - Stephanie Davis
singer, songwriter, born in Bridger, Montana.
1958 - Carl Perkins left
Sun Records and signed with Columbia. Carl became Columbia Record’s first
Rockabilly artist.
1959 - Johnny Cash
self-penned Columbia single “Don’t Take Your Guns To Town." hit the country
chart today. The song went to #1 where it remained for 6 weeks. This was John's
20th chart hit, and his 4th #1. The Man In Black joined the Grand Ole Opry in
1956. He met his second wife June Carter backstage at the Ryman
Auditorium.
1960 - Ralph Peer
1892~1960, age 67, recording pioneer, talent scout, publisher, and industry
executive died in Hollywood. Ralph was the first to record Jimmy Rodgers, the
Carter Family, Pop Stoneman and many others. Inducted CMHF
1984.
1966 - Charlie Stripling
1896~1966, age 69, of the “Stripling Brothers” died.
1967 - Dennis Crouch of the
Nashville Bluegrass Band, born Strawberry, Arkansas.
1970 - Charley Pride's RCA
Victor album "The Best of Charley Pride" was certified Gold by the
RIAA.
1971 - Marty Robbins and
Connie Smith were featured guests on “Hee Haw.”
1974 - Loretta Lynn, Kenny
Starr, Stoney Edwards and Jerry Clower were featured guests on "Hee
Haw."
1977 - Charlie Daniels and
The Marshall Tucker Band performed at Jimmy Carter’s Inaugural
Ball.
1980 - Vic McAlpin,
songwriter, died in Nashville. Vic served on the first CMA board of directors,
and was inducted into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame in
1970.
1990 - Reba McEntire’s
first movie "Tremors” opens in theaters across America.
1993 - One day before Bill
Clinton is sworn into office as President of the United States, for his second
term, the Presidential Inaugural Gala was held in Washington D.C. Entertainers
hired to perform for the Gala included Barbara Streisand, Michael Jackson, Elton
John, Fleetwood Mac, and Chuck Berry.
1998 - Carl Perkins
1932~1998, age 65, singer, songwriter, and guitarist, died following a series of
strokes at County General Hospital in Jackson, Tennessee. Elected into the NSHF
1985, the R&RHF in 1987. He was a member of the Johnny Cash Show for ten
years. Carl was laid to rest in Ridgecrest Cemetery, in Jackson, Tennessee. His
wife Valda died November 15, 2005, and now rests next to her darling Carl. After
Carl’s death, Valda placed a pair of Carl’s pajamas on the bed next to her,
every night before going to sleep.
1998 - The National
Association of Chiefs of Police awarded Pat Boone their first annual “Michael
The Angel Award.”
2001 - Travis Tritt
performed at the Republican Texas Senators Ball in Washington DC, as part of
President George Bush’s inauguration celebration.
2005 - Sara Evans performed
at the Black Tie & Boots Texas presidential inaugural event in Washington
D.C. Also appearing at the Black Tie & Boots event were Lyle Lovett, Asleep
at the Wheel, Robert Earl Keen, Gary P. Nunn, Clay Walker and gospel singer
Yolanda Adams.
**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS **** The “New Queen of Bluegrass” has a “Good Thing Going” with new album debuting at #1 Nashville, TN - The IBMA (International Bluegrass Music Association) and SPBGMA (Society for Preservation of Bluegrass Music in America) have their hands full with Ms. Bluegrass herself, Rhonda Vincent. Here we are thirty four years since Vincent received her first award from the SPBGMA for Best Single Recording for “Muleskinner Blues”, and not only is Vincent still kicking, but she’s on top of the world with her 2008 album, “Good Thing Going” debuting at number one on Billboard’s Bluegrass charts. “I am thrilled!” said Rhonda Vincent. “It is particularly gratifying since I co-wrote five songs on this album. That makes it even more special to me.” Rhonda Vincent may have received multiple awards for her ability to wow people with anything with strings, but nothing may have been as rewarding as her accomplishment of “Good Thing Going,” which very well may be her most challenging and personal album yet. Vincent is known for her sweet sounding vocals, fiery mandolin picking, and her massive touring schedules. Rhonda will be kicking off her “Good Thing Going” tour on January 18th. For the complete touring schedule, go to www.rhondavincent.com or www.rounder.com. Brooks, Aikman unveil room for sick kids FORT WORTH, Texas (AP) -- Two proven superstars - on the music charts and on the football field - were no match for some young patients at Cook Children's Medical Center. Country singer Garth Brooks and Hall of Fame quarterback Troy Aikman on Tuesday picked up video-playing pointers from hospitalized kids in Fort Worth. The crooner and the Dallas Cowboy-turned-television-sportscaster helped unveil an updated therapeutic playroom for patients called the Zone Playroom. Brooks joined forces with the NHL, the NHL Players Association and the entertainer's own Teammates for Kids Foundation to donate the space. The area formerly was known as Aikman's End Zone. "We wanted to do something for them because they spend all day in their bedrooms," Aikman said, "and we just wanted to get them out of there so they could have a little bit of fun." Brooks, wearing a cowboy hat, at one point popped the topper on the head of Aikman, whose efforts at video air guitar still failed. Brooks, turning to card games, played Go Fish with several children. --- On the Net: Hospital: http://www.cookchildrens.org/ Teammates for Kids Foundation: http://www.touchemall.com 26th Annual Colgate Country Showdown National Final event WHAT: 26th Annual Colgate Country Showdown National Final event The Showdown is the Nation's largest and longest-running country music talent search and radio promotion. WHEN: Thursday, January 24, 2008. WHERE: Ryman Auditorium in downtown Nashville. HOST: Curb Records recording artist LeAnn Rimes will host the event for the second consecutive year. Special guest Little Jimmy Dickens will appear at this special TV taping. JUDGES: Judges confirmed are Rod Essig (Creative Artist Agency), Autumn House (Sr. Director of A&R Capitol Records), Beverly Keel (The Tennessean), Brian Mansfield (USA Today Nashville Correspondent), Carole Ann Mobley (Sr. Director of A&R SonyBMG Nashville) and Patti Page (Artist). CONTESTANTS: Five Regional winners advanced to compete for $100,000 in this year's National Final. They are Nash Street, Eldon Johnson, Carrie Joy, Trevor Panczak and Christy Suggett. Nash Street (Southeast winner) – named for the place they practiced and for it’s catchy sound – consists of Daniel Hare (bass), Hannah Melby (fiddle), Caroline Melby (mandolin) and Jason Graham (guitar). The band, has performed at Tim McGraw's “Swampstock” and has opened for Rhonda Vincent, The Grascals and Little Big Town. They believe their, “stage presence and ability to connect with the audience at such young ages makes them attractive to the music industry.” They will be representing WOKK Meridian, Mississippi. Fargo, North Dakota’s Eldon Johnson (Midwest winner) has played throughout the upper Midwest and formed True North. The duo won the Colgate Country Showdown ND/SD State Final in 2003. Early success prompted the release of their debut CD with Johnson’s contributions to lead/harmony vocals, acoustic guitar and drums & percussion—as well as producing and writing. He continues to hone his skills and works as a Contemporary Music Coordinator at Faith Lutheran Church. At the Colgate Country Showdown National Final, Johnson will be representing KQLX Lisbon, North Dakota. Although she grew up singing in church, Edwardsville, Illinois’ Carrie Joy (Northeast winner) didn’t really begin performing until high school. In 2002, Joy entered the Colgate Country Showdown and earned a spot at the National Final. She holds the title of the first ever Branson Idol (now Branson Spotlight) and has appeared in numerous Branson shows including the Doug Gabriel and Roy Clark Show, KRZK Live Radio Show-Grand Country Saturday Night and Late Night with Joey Riley. Joy will represent WTHI Terre Haute, Indiana. Trevor Panczak (West winner) is a four-time Colgate Country Showdown Montana State Winner who grew up on a farm north of Cutbank. The singer/songwriter has also excelled in other competitions – the Country Vocal Spotlight at the C.F.R. and the Calgary Stampede Youth Talent Showdown. Panczak has opened for Dan Seals and Keith Urban. Currently he fronts the energetic five-piece band, Rough Stock. Describing his style, the “gentle giant” attempts to use, “clever lyrics and laid back humor to try to capture audiences’ hearts wherever I play my guitar.” This year he will be representing KMON Great Falls, Montana. Christy Suggett (Southwest winner) grew up in Pearland, Texas with talented singer/songwriter parents and by fifteen recorded her first gospel album. She has traveled as a soloist/drummer and has served as in several positions at First Church of Pearland. Suggett also performed the National Anthem at Commissioner Jerry Eversole’s 14th Annual Invitational Golf Tournament (benefiting the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society) and the Houston Astros’ game and has entertained at various other charity events. Suggett is representing KKBQ Houston, Texas at the Colgate Country Showdown National Final. About The Showdown: Annually, more than 50,000 artists compete in the Colgate-sponsored local competitions with 450 radio stations throughout the U.S. and over $300,000 in cash prizes are awarded throughout 550+ live competitions. All participants are consistently judged on five core criteria: Marketability in Country Music, Vocal/Instrumental Ability, Originality of Performance, Stage Presence/Charisma and Talent. Optional bonus points can be awarded to acts with original music in the Songwriting category. The competition boasts a "who's who" in the Country Music industry with past winners, including Brad Paisley, Garth Brooks, Martina McBride, Billy Ray Cyrus, Sara Evans and Miranda Lambert. For more information, visit www.colgatecountryshowdown.com. About Colgate: Colgate-Palmolive is a leading global consumer products company, tightly focused on Oral Care, Personal Care, Home Care and Pet Nutrition. Colgate sells its products in over 200 countries and territories around the world under such internationally recognized brand names as Colgate, Palmolive, Mennen, Softsoap, Irish Spring, Protex, Sorriso, Kolynos, Elmex, Ajax, Axion, Soupline, and Suavitel, as well as Hill's Science Diet and Hill's Prescription Diet pet foods. For more information about Colgate's global business, visit the Company's website at www.colgate.com. Jewel’s First Country Single 'Stronger Woman' Rushed To Radio Due to overwhelming demand from Country Radio programmers who have already heard Jewel's Country music debut, the self-written "Stronger Woman," The Valory Music Co. announced today that they will rush-release the single to Country Radio immediately. The single will be released via the Play MPE digital media delivery system at 10 a.m. ET/ 9 a.m. CT on Thursday, January 17th. One of the first Country programmers to hear "Stronger Woman" was Ken Boesen with WKIS/Miami. Boesen says, "The timing is perfect for Jewel to release a Country single! She came by the station and knocked us out and the single is a smash. WKIS listeners are very excited and so am I – welcome to Country music Jewel!" "Jewel has made a strong commitment to Country Radio and is in the midst of an extensive radio tour," says Jon Loba, Vice of President of Promotion and Artist Development. "The response to ‘Stronger Woman’ on these visits has been overwhelming. After many requests from stations to play this song early, we have decided to move up our digital release date. CD Singles will still not ship until January 22nd because we don’t have them in house just yet!" "Stronger Woman" will be available exclusively at iTunes starting February 5th. On ABC’s Good Morning America, Sunday, February 10th She will perform an exclusive acoustic version of "Stronger Woman" on ABC’s Good Morning America: Weekend Edition on Sunday, February 10th. The broadcast will mark the world premiere of Jewel’s XM Artist Confidential performance of the new single. Please check local listings for specific GMA: Weekend Edition air times. The single is set to officially impact Country radio on February 11th. Her highly-anticipated new album, "Perfectly Clear," is scheduled for release on June 3rd . From the remote tundra of her Alaskan youth to the triumph of international stardom, Jewel has traveled a singular road as an acclaimed singer, songwriter, poet, actress and painter. The three-time Grammy nominee, hailed by The Times of London as "the most sparkling female singer-songwriter since Joni Mitchell," nevertheless remains a unique and authentic artist, exploring fresh musical avenues for more than a decade that have taken her from the simplicity of acoustic-driven folk to the embrace of rock, pop, country, blues, jazz and classical influences. To date, Jewel has sold over 27 million albums worldwide, enjoying career longevity rare among her generation of artists. Jewel recently completed a stint as the host of Nashville Star and is proud to be named an Ambassador for Richard Branson's charity Virgin Unite and its Re*generation initiative to fight against youth homelessness which has found her speaking on Capitol Hill. She was recently in the studio working on her own country-infused album with John Rich of Big & Rich and is ready to set out on tour. Kellie Pickler Visits Ellen & KimmelBegins Tour With Rascal Flatts Kellie Pickler is beginning 2008 like she ended 2007: busy! Just before the Christmas holidays, Kellie spent a few weeks in the Persian Gulf region, where she performed for the US troops on a USO Tour.
Now, back in the states, Kellie trades helicopters and military cargo planes for the comfort of her tour bus as she’s set to open shows for superstars Rascal Flatts. Tonight’s show in Manchester, NH begins a two-plus month tour and includes stops in New York (Madison Square Garden), Canada and Las Vegas.
Next week, Kellie will head west for appearances on Ellen and Jimmy Kimmel Live. Both shows will air next Tuesday (1/22) and she will perform her new single, “Things That Never Cross A Man’s Mind,” as well as her hit song, “Red High Heels.” Also while she’s in Los Angeles, she’ll visit with Blair Garner and After MidNite.
Lady Antebellum meets up with Storme Warren GAC’s Country Music Across America Lady Antebellum got the chance to visit with Storme Warren, host of GAC’s Country Music Across America, when he came by their video shoot for “Love Don’t Live Here.” Warren interviewed the group about making their first video and the release of their self-titled debut album - which will be released in April. Catch their interview now on GAC’s Country Music Across America.
The trio is gearing up to hit the road for their first country tour –the band will open for Martina McBride’s Waking Up Laughing nationwide arena tour beginning tomorrow (1/18) in Evansville, IN. Josh Turner To Tour with Strait and Underwood Multi-platinum recording artist Josh Turner kicks off 2008 with exciting tour plans for the year. Beginning at the end of this month, Turner will open for the King of Country Music - George Strait for three shows followed by touring with the reigning ACM and CMA Female Vocalist of the Year, and 2x Grammy winner Carrie Underwood as special guest on her "Carnival Ride Tour."
"I have been a fan of George Strait for a long time," says Turner. "It's a real honor to be asked to open for the King of Country Music. What a great way to start the New Year!" Turner adds, "I am also really excited to tour with Carrie this year. With the difference in our musical styles, it will be a great night for our fans."
The Strait tour dates are January 31 in Sacramento, February 1 in Fresno and February 2 in Las Vegas. Underwood dates begin on February 18 in Wilkes-Barre, PA and will continue through May. The first round of "Carnival Ride Tour" dates are currently on sale with more dates to be announced soon.
Feb 18 Wikes-Barre, PA / Wachovia Arena Feb 19 Albany, NY / Times Union Center Feb 20 Amherst, MA / Mullins Center Feb 22 Pittsburgh, PA / Petersen Events Center Feb 24 Providence, RI / Dunkin Donuts Center Feb 25 Bridgeport, CT / Arena at Harbor Yard
Josh Turner was recently inducted into the Grand Ole Opry as their youngest current member and was a 2007 CMA Male Vocalist Nominee. His latest album, Everything Is Fine, was certified gold in five weeks and is powered by the fastest-rising single of his career the self-penned "Firecracker." The single was recently named the number-one most requested song of the year on Club Connection's 2007 Top Club and Dance Songs chart. His current single "Another Try" featuring Trisha Yearwood is one of the most added songs this week at Country radio. "The Opry's youngest cast member lets his glowing, burnished-bronze baritone caress this lovelorn ballad while Trisha Yearwood unfurls a glorious harmony vocal around him," writes Bob Oerrman of Music Row. "This guy is such a star, and I am such a fan." Turner burst onto the scene in 2003 with his debut album Long Black Train, selling more than a million copies. His follow up disc, Your Man, has sold more than double that amount establishing Turner as one of the fastest rising stars in country music today. His distinctive voice paired with his inspired songwriting makes him one of Nashville's most notable traditionalists COUNTRY Album Sales Down A Second Week Off 24% After 64 weeks on the charts, Taylor Swift’s debut album continues to sell in record numbers. On top of this week’s SoundScan Chart again, she sold 34.544 units last week to bring her total to 2,324,549 units. In second place, the Eagles/Long Road Out Of Eden continues to move the product, adding 28,664 to their total of 2,672,731 in just 11-weeks. Sugarland’s Enjoy The Ride is now in its 62nd week of release and adds another 22,986 units The Top Ten COUNTRY Album Sales Last Week: 1 Taylor Swift/Taylor Swift at 34,544 units 2 Eagles/Long Road Out Of Eden at 28.664 units 3 Garth Brooks/Ultimate Hits at 28,312. Total units: 1,400,982 4 Sugarland/Enjoy The Ride at 22,986 5 Carrie Underwood/Carnival Ride with 21,569 6 Alison Krauss-Robt Plant/Raising Sand hits 20,082 7 Rascal Flatts/Still Feels Good at 19,815 8 Reba/Reba Duets sells 13,476 units 9 Keith Urban/Greatest Hits hits 12,526 unitl 10 Kenny Chesney/Poets & Pirates sells another 11,925 units Total sales for the Top 10 COUNTRY Albums last week were 213,899 for a decrease of 24% over the previous week. "AMERICAN IDOL" - THE NEXT CARRIE UNDERWOOD? LOS ANGELES - Could the next Carrie Underwood be the female cage fighter from Oregon? The single mom from Chicago? Or the guy who lost 204 pounds? They were among the people who auditioned for "American Idol" and were put through to Hollywood in the opening round of auditions in Philadelphia. The female middle linebacker, the angel and the trio dressed as the Andrew Sisters were not so lucky. Simon Cowell called one contestant "a little bit possessed" but otherwise let her down easy. She responded outside the audition room with, "If I could legally moon you, I would!" Tonight's auditions: Dallas. A Meeting With Reba And Kelly Up For Bid Country Music World Meet Reba McEntire and Kelly Clarkson and help charity at the same time. The Web site www.charityfolks.com is auctioning off a couple of meet-and-greet passes to see McEntire and Clarkson backstage before one of their concerts this year. The passes are good for any concert of the buyer's choosing. The auction benefits Habitat for Humanity and The March of Dimes. Two passes sold yesterday for nearly $3,000. More are still up for bid. Writers Union Says It Will Likely Not Let Members Work On Grammys LOS ANGELES Looks like the Hollywood writers strike could affect next month's Grammy Awards telecast. The producers of the program are requesting an interim agreement that would allow striking writers to work on next month's telecast. However, a spokesman for the Writers Guild of America says an exception is "unlikely to be granted." The ceremony is set to air live February 10th on CBS. Online Petition Pushes Nobel Nomination For Pete Seeger BEACON, N.Y. A California woman has launched an online petition drive to have folk singer Pete Seeger nominated for a Nobel Peace prize. So far, the petition has collected nearly 13,000 signatures. Seeger, who is 88 and lives in New York's Hudson Valley, tells the Times Herald-Record he's a "little embarrassed" by the whole thing. And he thinks the campaign is "ridiculous." John Wayne Ranks On Harris Poll's Annual Favorite Movie Star List ROCHESTER, N.Y. He hasn't made a movie since 1976. But that doesn't seem to have dampened John Wayne's popularity. He ranks 6th on The Harris Poll's annual favorite movie star list. He's the only movie star to appear on every Harris Poll Top-10 movie star list since it first began in 1994. And this is after having died in 1979. Denzel Washington topped the Harris Poll list for the second year in a row. TODAY's BIRTHDAYS: Singer Ronnie Milsap turns 65 today. Singer Jim Stafford is 64 today. **** Amy's Kitchen **** CHOCOLATE MINT MERINGUE CHEESESCAKE 1 cup chocolate wafer crumbs 3 tbs margarine, melted 2 tbs sugar 24 oz cream cheese, softened 2/3 cups sugar 3 ea large eggs 1 cup mint chocolate chips, melted 1 tsp vanilla extract 3 ea large egg whites 7 oz marshmallow creme Combine crumbs, margarine and 2 tbs sugar; press onto bottom of 9-inch spring-form pan. Bake at 350 degrees F. for 10 minutes. Combine cream cheese and sugar, mixing at medium speed on electric mixer until well blended. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Blend in melted mint chocolate and vanilla; pour over crust. Bake at 350 degrees F. for 50 minutes. Loosen cake from rim of pan; cool before removing rim of pan. Chill. Beat egg whites until soft peaks form. Gradually add marshmallow creme, beating until stiff peaks form. Carefully spread over top of cheesecake to seal. Bake at 450 degrees F. for 3 to 4 minutes or until lightly browned. Yield: about 10 servings.
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