From the lakes From the hills From the skies

All is well
Safely rest
God is nigh.

Fading light
Dims the sight
And a star
Gems the sky,
Gleaming bright

From afar

Drawing nigh
Falls the night.

Thanks and praise
For our days
'Neath the sun
'Neath the stars
'Neath the sky
As we go
This we know
God is nigh.

I too, have felt the chills while listening to "Taps," but I have never seen all the words until now. I didn't even know there was more than one verse.
I also never knew the story behind the song and I didn't know if you had either so I thought I'd pass it along.
Pray for our
TROOPS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Terrorists,
I am a Naval Aviator. I was born and raised in a small town in New England. I come from a family of five. I was raised in a middle class home and taught my values by my mother and father. My dad worked a series of jobs in finance and my mom took care of us kids. We were not an overly religious family but attended church most Sundays. It was a nice small Episcopal Church. I have a brother and sister and I am the youngest in my family. I was the first in many generations to attend college. I have flown Naval aircraft for 16 years.
For me the flying was never a lifelong dream or a "calling," it just happened. I needed a job and I liked the challenge. I continue to do it today because I feel it is important to give back to a nation which has given so much to me. I do it because although I will never be rich, my family will be comfortable. I do it because many of my friends have left for the airlines and someone has to do it. My government has spent millions to train me to fly these multimillion dollar aircraft. I make about 70,000 dollars a year and after 20 years will be offered a pension. I like baseball but think the players make too much money.
I am in awe of firemen and policemen and what they do each day for my community, and like teachers, they just don't get paid enough. I respect my elders and always use sir or ma'am when addressing a stranger. I'm not sure about kids these days but I think that's normal for every generation. I voted for George Bush not for his IQ but because I like him. I think I made a pretty good choice. I tell you all this because when I come for you, I want you to know me. I won't be hiding behind a woman or a child. I won't be disguised or pretending to be something I am not. I will be in a US issue flight suit. I will be wearing standard US issue flight gear, and I will be flying a navy aircraft clearly marked as a US warplane. I wish we could meet up close in a small room where I could wrap my hands around your throat and slowly squeeze the life out of you but unfortunately you're hiding in a hole in the ground so we will have to do this a different way. I want you to know also that I am very good at what I do. I can put a 2,000 LB weapon through a window from 10,000 feet up.
I generally only fly at night so you may want to start sleeping during the day. I am not eager to die for my country but I am willing to sacrifice my life to protect it from animals like you. I will do everything in my power to ensure no civilians are hurt as I take aim at you. My countrymen are a forgiving bunch. Many are already forgetting what you did on Sept 11th. But I will not forget, and my President will not forget. I am coming. I hope you know me a little bit better, see you soon...sleep tight.

                                    Signed.....    a US Navy Pilot    GO NAVY
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat.
The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look, "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration. "Thanks," the girl says.
The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's
testicles. "Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Subject: Why I'm a Colin Powell fan

Powell Quote:

When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by
the
Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of
empire building by George Bush.

He answered by saying that, "Over the years, the United States has sent

many

of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom
beyond
our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return
is
enough to bury those that did not return."

It became very quiet in the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man
Love, to forgive him
Patience, for his moods
Because Lord, if I prayed for Strength
I would use it to beat him to death

AMEN
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Makes me ashamed my middle name is Leroy
Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His

birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his
mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."

Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at
school and at home.

Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his
birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy's mother, being
a Christian woman, wanted Leroy to reflect on his behavior over the last
year.

"Go to your room, Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your
birthday."

Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God
a letter.

Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my
birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Leroy

Leroy knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this
year, so he tore up the letter and started over.

Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Leroy. I have been a good boy this year and I would
like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you. Your friend, Leroy

Leroy knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and
started again.

Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an "OK" boy this year. I still would really like a bike for
my birthday. Leroy

Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Leroy wrote
a fourth letter.

Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a
good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please! Thank you,
Leroy

Leroy knew, even if it were true, this letter was not going to get him a
bike. Now, Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom
that he wanted to go to church.

Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked as Leroy looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," Leroy's mother told him.

Leroy walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Leroy
went into the church and up to the alter. He looked around to see if
anyone was there. Leroy bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin
Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the
street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room
and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Leroy began to write his
letter to God.

Letter 5
God,
I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER
AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE!
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rerun,but oh so true
On one of his pastoral visits, a minister noticed fifteen holes cut in a
door and inquired what they were for.

"We have fifteen cats, and that's for them to go out through," the man
of the house explained.

"Well, why do you need fifteen holes? Can't they all go out through the
same hole one by one?" questioned the minister.

"Friend," said the fellow, "when my wife says 'scat,' she means it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The First Time's Always the Worst"
The first mammogram is the worst. Especially when the machine catches on
fire. That's what happened to me. The technician, Gail, positioned me
exactly as she wanted me (think a really complicated game of Twister -
right hand on the blue, left shoulder on the yellow, right breast as far
away as humanly possible from the rest of your body). Then she clamped
the machine down so tight, I think my breast actually turned inside out.
I'm pretty sure Victoria's Secret doesn't have a bra for that. Suddenly,
there was a loud popping noise. I looked down at my right breast to make
sure it hadn't exploded. Nope, it was still flat as a pancake and still
attached to my body. "Oh no!" Gail said loudly. These are perhaps, the
words you least want to hear from any health professional. Suddenly, she
came flying past me, her lab coat whipping behind her, on her way out
the door. She yelled over her shoulder, "The machine's on fire, I'm
going to get help!" OK, I was wrong, 'The machine's on fire,' are the
worst words you can hear from a health professional. Especially if
you're all alone and semi-permanently attached to a machine and don't
know if it's the machine in question. I struggled for a few seconds
trying to get free, but even Houdini couldn't have escaped. I decided to
go to plan B: yelling at the top of my lung (the one that was still
working). I hadn't seen anything on fire, so my panic hadn't quite
reached epic proportions. But then I started to smell smoke coming from
behind the partition. "This is ridiculous," I thought. I can't die like
this. What would they put in my obituary? Cause of death: breast
entrapment? I may have inhaled some fumes because I started to
hallucinate. An imaginary fireman rushed in with a fire hose and a
hatchet. "Howdy, ma'am," he said. "What's happened here?" he asked,
averting his eyes. "My breasts were too hot for the machine," I quipped,
as my imaginary fireman ran out of the room again. "This is gonna take
the Jaws of Life!" In reality, Gail returned with a fire extinguisher
and put out the fire. She gave me a big smile and released me from the
machine. "Sorry! That's the first time that's ever happened. Why don't
you take a few minutes to relax before we finish up?" I think that's
what she said. I was running across the parking lot in my backless paper
gown at the time. After I'd relaxed for a few years, I figured I might
go back. But I was bringing my own fire extinguisher.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wonder if the guy who invented the wringer washer and the mammogram were one and the same?
Both caused women a lot of pain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
News reports have filtered out early this morning that US forces have
swooped on an Iraqi primary school and detained teacher Mohammed
Al-Hazar. Sources indicate that, when arrested, Al-Hazar was in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square and a calculator. US
President George W Bush argued that this was clear and overwhelming
evidence that Iraq indeed possessed weapons of maths instruction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, At least I'm not alone
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."
The second lady chimed in, "Yes, some times I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."
The third one responded, " Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must be the door, I'll get it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE WISDOM OF WILL ROGERS

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman... neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. AND FINALLY After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group
looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery.

Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye.
"What on earth," she inquired of the artist standing
nearby, "is that?"

He smiled condescendingly.

"That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother
and her child."

"Well, then," snapped the little old lady, "why isn't it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After my husband asked me to help him shed some
unwanted pounds, I stopped serving fattening TV
snacks and substituted crisp celery. While he was
unenthusiastically munching on a stalk one night, a
commercial caught his attention. As he watched
longingly, a woman spread gooey chocolate frosting
over a freshly baked cake. When it was over, my
husband turned to me. "Did you ever notice," he asked,
"that they never advertise celery on TV?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Discovering that I'd overslept, I abandoned my usual morning  
routine and rushed out. In the van, though, I realized I had  
time to stop for a take-out coffee.  
I got my coffee and returned to the van, only to find I had  
not only left it running but had locked it!  
The day was going from bad to worse.  
I returned to the shop, sheepishly explained my situation to  
the clerk and asked if I could borrow a broom.  
I managed to open a side window and pop the lock on the back  
door using the broom handle. When I returned the broom, the  
clerk said, "I know you're having a bad day, but..."  
"I know, I know," I interrupted. "You want to know how I can  
unlock my van with a broom."  
"No," she said. "I wanted to tell you that your shirt is on  
inside out."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 My husband and I both started our Judo a little over a year ago at 40 and
41 respectively. Our first Sunday after our first Saturday neither of us could
walk except for a slow, painful shuffle. We dropped into a drug store to buy
heat rub and both stood in the pharmacy staring down at the tube on the
bottom shelf, debating how badly we needed it since bending down to
retrieve it was surely going to be a killer.
"I'll flip you for it," announced my husband.
"That's what caused this problem in the first place," I answered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Four-month-old Evan had a major diaper blowout, covering his clothes,
blanket, and bed sheets. His father Quinn thought out loud, "This is almost
more than I can handle. Where's Mommy?" As the new dad faced the disaster
in front of him, he reached for the scissors. Later he confessed to his wife
Melissa, "The smell was overwhelming. I had to move fast, so I cut the
bottom half of his outfit off in order to get to the diaper. Sorry, but he no
longer has the cute little clown outfit you liked so much."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 My mother came home from the mall looking completely exhausted. Alarmed,
I asked what had happened. Falling into a chair, she explained that after she
had stepped on a down escalator, she changed her mind and tried to go back
up. "I thought I was going to die!" she exclaimed. "And my heavy purse was
slowing me down, so finally I threw it up ahead of me. Even so, it still took
everything I had in me to make it back up!"
"Mom," I said, "why didn't you just go all the way down and then take the up
escalator?"
She stared at me as though I were crazy. "And leave my purse?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've never known a man who wasn't deeply attached on a very emotional
level to his beloved vehicle. Whether it was a piece of junk or a masterpiece
made no difference. They rode in their metal boxes and were in control of
their lives. I think I know why so many men are afraid to make a commitment
to women. It's because we can't be steered.
******************************************************