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Subject: The Funnies - March17, 2008

The Funnies are strictly a DOUBLE opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM
If you choose to censore or delete it.The only ones hurt are those waiting on it
and the people they could have helped

Please note new address
jim4615@verizon.net

From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to The Funnies
est.7-4-2000

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG

I always know God won't give me more than I can handle,
but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

Monday March17,2008

Thought For Today: Happy St. Paddys Day

May you always have
Walls for the winds,
A roof for the rain,
Tea beside the fire,
Laughter to cheer you,
Those you love near you,
And all your heart might desire!

May you be in
Heaven a half hour before the
Devil knows you're dead!

When Irish eyes are smiling,
Tis like a morn in spring.
With a lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy
All the world is bright and gay
When Irish eyes are smiling
Sure, they steal your heart away.

May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.

There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
How in the hell can he drink when he's dead?

May the best day of your past
Be the worst day of your future.

I'm looking over a four leaf clover
That I overlooked before
One leaf is sunshine, the second is rain,
Third is the roses that grow in the lane.
No need explaining the one remaining
Is somebody I adore.
I'm looking over a four leaf clover
That I overlooked before.

May you live to be a hundred years
With one extra year to repent.

May those who love us, love us
And those who don't love us,
May God turn their hearts
And if he can't turn their hearts,
May he turn their ankles
So we will know them by their limping!

As you slide down the banister of life,
May the splinters never point in the wrong direction!

May luck be our companion
May friends stand by our side
May history remind us all
Of Ireland's faith and pride.
May God bless us with happiness
May love and faith abide.

Leprechauns, castles, good luck and laughter
Lullabies, dreams, and love ever after.
Poems and songs with pipes and drums
A thousand welcomes when anyone comes.
That's the Irish for you!

There's a dear little plant that grows in our isle,
'Twas St. Patrick himself, sure, that sets it;
And the sun of his labor with pleasure did smile,
And with dew from his eye often wet it.
It grows through the bog, through the brake, through the mireland,
And they call it the dear little Shamrock of Ireland.

May your neighbors respect you,
Troubles neglect you,
The angels protect you,
And Heaven accept you.

May you have:
A world of wishes at your command
God and his angels close at hand
Friends and family their love impart,
And Irish blessings in you heart.

May God grant you many years to live,
For sure he must be knowing
The earth has angels all to few
And Heaven is overflowing.

These things I warmly wish to you-
Someone to love
Some work to do
A bit o' sun
A bit o' cheer
And a guardian angel always near.

Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!

May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light,
May good luck pursue you each morning and night,

O Ireland isn't it grand you look
like a bride in her rich adornin?
And with all the pent up love of my heart
I bid you the top o' the mornin!

May the lilt of lush laughter lighten ever road,
May the midst of Irish magic shorten every road.
May you taste the sweetest pleasures
that fortune ever bestowed,
And may all your friends remember
all the favors you are owed.

Go mbeannai Dia duit
(May God Bless You)

May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
God is good, but never dance in a small boat.

May you live as long as you want,
And never want as long as you live.

If you're enough lucky to be Irish...
You're lucky enough!

My wild Irish rose
The sweetest flower that grows
You may search everywhere
But none can compare to my wild Irish rose
My wild Irish rose
The sweetest flower that grows
Someday for my sake she may let me take
A bloom from my wild Irish rose

'Tis better to buy a small bouquet
And give to your friend this very day,
Than a bushel of roses white and red
To lay on his coffin after he's dead.

For each petal on the shamrock
This brings a wish your way-
Good health, good luck, and happiness
For today and every day
Ms.Headache
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends. Y'all know who you are..

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.'

You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a redneck if: You still say 'Christmas' instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.

You might be a redneck if: You treat all veterans with great respect, and always have.

You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an American flag.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend..

If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that you, like me, have just enough Redneck in you to have the same beliefs as those talked about in this email.

God Bless the USA!

May the LORD bless you & yours..............
spider
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"The Blarney Stone"

A group of Americans was touring Ireland.

One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining.The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible.
It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone.
"Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow.

"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted.
"We have some other boring tour to go on.
So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."

"And I suppose you've kissed the stone," the woman scoffed.
"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said, "but I've sat on it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Men"

Two men were sitting next to each other at Murphy's Pub. After awhile, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland"

The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"

The first guy says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?"

The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin , I am."

The first guy responds, "So am I!"

"Mother Mary and Begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?"

The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."

The first guy says, "Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I!
And to what school would you have been going?"

The other guy answers, "well now, I went to St.. Mary's, of course."

The first guy gets really excited and says, "And so did I. Tell me,
what year did you graduate?"

The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964."

The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!"

About this time, Kathleen walks into the bar, sits down and orders
a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Kathleen, shaking his head and
mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight."

Kathleen asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?"

"The Murphy twins are drunk again."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pete Monaghan"

Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband's obiturary.

She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn't it too bad about him passing away.

She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary, "Pete died."

The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and he'd give her three more words at no charge.

Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary: "Pete died. Boat for sale"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patrick O'Reilly was lucky. Since the day he had found that four leaf
clover, everything good seemed to come his way. He had met the wonderful
Rosie, and after a whirlwind romance, they were married. And now, a year
later, he was the proud father of beautiful twins, a boy and a girl.
At work, the story was the same. He had been promoted and had received a
substantial raise, and now the firm had come up with a profit sharing plan.
Patty was certain his good fortune was due to his 4-leaf clover.
Everywhere he went, he was certain to be carrying the talisman in his
pocket.
One morning, Patty could not find the clover. He searched the house,
but it was not there. In panic, he tried to recall when he had last seen it.
He finally recalled it was in his gray suit that he had dropped off at the dry
cleaners.
He rushed to the cleaners only to find that the work had been completed
and his suit was ready to be picked up. He searched the suit and found
the 4-leaf clover, still in one piece but now flattened from the dry
cleaning. From that day on, Patty's fortunes changed. Life was good but
was no longer perfect. The little inconveniences were always there.
He had a flat tire as he was driving to an important meeting.The twins

developed measles when his boss and his wife were over for dinner.
No, Patty's life had changed. He still carried the amulet, but he was
certainly not living under the silver lining he was used to and had come
to expect. Finally, he had, had enough. He visited the parish priest to see if he
could help him understand what had happened.
"This certainly was to be expected," he was told. "You should have known
... One should never press one's luck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We depended on our sharp-eyed eleven-year-old nephew to
read the street signs while we were visiting Ireland. The
bilingual ones, however, could prove challenging. Once,
in Dublin, Mike's dad said, "Quick, Mike, what's the street
coming up?" "Gee, Dad," he said, "I can't read garlic."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paddy was tooling along the road one fine day when the
local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's
wrong, Seamus?" Paddy asked.
"Well didn't ya know, Paddy, that your wife fell out of the
car about five miles back?" said Seamus.
"Ah, praise the Almighty!" Paddy replied with relief.
"I thought I'd gone deaf!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Pat and Jimmy-Joe met and one said to the other,
"Have ye seen Mulligan lately, Pat?"
Pat said, "Well, I have and I haven't."
His friend asked, "Shure, and what d'ye mean by that?"
Pat said, "It's like this, y'see...I saw a chap who I thought
was Mulligan, and he saw a chap that he thought was me.
And when we got up to one another...it was neither of us."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies
were in stock. "We have 99" replied the shop owner "Give
us the lot" said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He
went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket,
put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office
Tower and jumped off. He hit the ground with an almighty
smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and
asked him what had happened. "I don't know sur" he replied
"but that's the last time I try that budgie jumping"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today's Links:

4 Leaf Clover Facts
http://www.fourleafclover.com/4fact.html

Best Of Ireland
http://www.iol.ie/~discover/welcome3.htm

CLADDAGH
http://loversfun.com/claddagh/

Happy Irishman

http://poetrybyginny.com/AHAPPYIRISHMAN.htm

Blarney Castle

http://www.iol.ie/~discover/blarney.htm

All Things Irish Links

http://www.censusdiggins.com/irishlinks.html

St. Pats puzzle

http://www.dobhran.com/jigsaw/GRjigsaw7.htm

Irish Songs
http://www.fiftiesweb.com/stpats/irish.htm

ST PAT Shamrock Facts
http://www.fourleafclover.com/3fact.html

St. Patrick's Day Recipes, Menus, Beers
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/et_hd_st_patricks_day

Leprechaun
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leprechaun

You can join The Funnies
To subscribe, Click on link below
http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies
published 5 x weekly.No censorship
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/

The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism.
http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim

**** IRL Motor Sports ****
open wheel at it's best

Love and hate in the time of Ethanol

Sherman, set the WABAC machine about 10 years to when the IRL was in it�s infancy. Check out the standings for the 96-97 extended season or the 1999 season and you�ll see the drivers at the top were powered by one of the dominant entries of the league�s infancy: the Menards team.

Yes Menards, the same hardware store that now sponsors the founder�s son Paul in a racing series to be discussed later. Now Robin says Menards is coming back to the IRL as a sponsor (though not a team owner) and will be backing Vision Racing�s Ed Carpenter in 2008. It should be noted that Tony George�s Vision Racing employs Larry Curry as a Team manager, because:

Curry went to jail for embezzling Menard�s money in the late �90s.

�He (Curry) apologized and I think he meant it,� said Menard.

(MORE from SpeedTV)

That would be embezzling to the tune of one meeeeellion dollars, friends. Does "apologized" mean paid back, or does that not matter so much when you�re already a billionaire? If there are any billionaires in the audience please enlighten us.

Also, it should additionally be noted Ed was also sponsored by Lowe�s in 2007, so the odds are ACE Hardware is readying for a 2009 package.

In decidedly less happy news, Robin also notes that Derrick Walker will be unleashing the legal dogs on Kevin Kalkhoven�s new sponsor, which is Walker�s old sponsor who allegedly forgot to pay the bills.

�We gave him (Craig Gore of Team Australia) in writing an opportunity to settle this and not go through a legal dogfight,� said Walker, who formed Team Australia with Gore three years ago. �It�s up to him to respond by tomorrow so if there�s no response or no effort to resolve, then Tuesday I start building my case.

�There�s damages, money owed and I�ve got a huge paper trail. I have no hesitation going into court to prove our case.

�He took my driver, my engineer and completely submarined us, so it�s pretty shabby to say the least.�

Gentlemen, start your lawsuits!

****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison � ****
Thanks Bill

-14-

1889 - "Aunt Sap" 1889-1980, of Uncle Cyp & Aunt Sap was born Neva Inez Fisher Greevi in Luther, Michigan. Her husband Laurence Lemarr Brasfield was Uncle Cyp, in their comedy duo. Uncle Cyp & Aunt Sap entertained for decades, and were cast members of the Ozark Jubilee in Springfield, Missouri. Cyp's younger brother was Grand Ole Opry comedian Rod Brasfield.

1904 - Carrie Rivers (Cash) 1904-1991, mother of Johnny Cash, born in Kingsland, Arkansas.

1931 - Bob Paisley, Bluegrass bandleader, born in Ashe County, North Carolina.

1945 - Michael Martin Murphey, singer, songwriter, and guitarist born in Oak Cliff, Texas.

1946 - Grandpa Jones, "Louis Marshall Jones, debuted on the Grand Ole Opry.

1951 - Zella Lehr singer, born Burbank, California. Zella was a cast member of Hee Haw, and has charted 15 country singles on Billboards charts between 1977-1985.

1954 - Jann Browne, recording artist, songwriter born Anderson, Indiana. Jann was a member of Asleep At The Wheel from 1981-1983. Jann and songwriter Roger Sebner were married in 1985.

1956 - The movie "Rock Around the Clock" featuring Bill Haley made its premier in Washington, D.C.

1958 - The RIAA presented their

first Gold Plaque to Perry Como for his RCA hit "Catch A Falling Star." The first Gold Album award was presented to Gordon Macrae in July for his Capitol album

"Oklahoma."

1958 - Buck Owens released "Sweet Thing."

1961 - Bob Woodruff, singer, songwriter born Suffern, New York.

1963 - Barney Pritchard, of the Georgia based "Scottdale String Band" died today at the age of 58.

1970 - Kristian Bush of Sugarland was born in Knoxville, Tennessee.

1990 - Ricky Van Shelton's Columbia album "RVS III" was certified Gold by the RIAA.

1991 - Doc Pomus 1925-1991, age 65, songwriter, died from lung cancer in New York City.

1992 - The Redheaded Stranger presented Farm Aid V today in Irving, Texas.

1996 - Dale Potter, fiddler for Hank Williams Sr., died at age 66.

1998 - Jo Dee Messina made her first guest appearance on the Grand Ole Opry.

1998 - Ray Charles made his first solo performance since 1945 on QVC's Shopping Network.

2000 - Tommy Collins 1930-2000, age 69, a.k.a. Leonard Raymond Sipes, singer, songwriter, guitarist died from Emphysema in Ashland City, Tennessee. Tommy was inducted into the NSHF in 1999 . Tommy Collins was laid to rest in Cheatham Memorial Gardens, Ashland City, Tennessee.

2001 - Jeff Bates was arrested on numerous felony charges in Nashville, Tennessee.

2005 - Jimmy Martin 1927-2005, the "King of Bluegrass" died at the age of 77.

2006 - Nashville Star kicked off a new season on the USA Network. Wynonna Judd and Cowboy Troy were the hosts, and Phil Vassar and Anastasia Brown returned to the judge's chairs. Phil and Anastasia a.k.a. Mrs. Tony Brown, will be joined each week by a celebrity guest Judge. This years winner will be offered a contract to record for the RCA Label Group.

-15-

1927 - Carl Smith, singer, songwriter, and guitarist was born in Maynardville, Tennessee. Carl was married to June Carter from 1952-56, Carlene Carter is their daughter. Carl later married Goldie Hill on September 7, 1957. Carl became a member of the Grand Ole Opry in 1950, and was inducted into the CMHF in 2003. The CMA refused to allow this country music legend to come to the stage, and thank his fans for their support after his was inducted. They did however, let him stand up in the audience so the camera could show a brief glimpse of this giant of country music past. If Carl had been allowed to speak to the world-wide audience, some Rock-Pop star would not have been able to sing their latest drivel they recorded on Music Row. What a shame that would have been.

1931 - D.J. Fontana, drummer for Elvis Presley, and a Nashville session player, was born in Shreveport, Louisiana. D. J. Fontana played on all of my Empire Record releases in Nashville.

1931 - Ted and Tom LeGrade born MacKay, Australia.

1941 - Cowboy Loye, a.k.a. Loye Donald Pack died on this date.

1946 - Gunilla Hutton, "Hee Haw cast," was born in Goteborg, Sweden.

1947 - Ryland "Ry" Cooder, guitarist, composer and producer, born in Los Angeles, California.

1956 - Colonel Tom Parker signed a management deal with Elvis Presley, after sending Hank Snow's son to watch one of his shows. Parker was also managing Hank Snow at the time.

1966 - The 8th Annual Grammy Awards were presented this evening. Winners in the Country Music category include: Roger Miller won six Grammy's this evening. I am listing the categories that he didn't win: Best New Artist Tom Jones; Best Female Vocal Performance "Queen of the House" Jody Miller; Best Group or Duo Performance "Flowers On The Wall" The Statler Brothers. And that pretty much covers this evenings awards. Roger Miller was a genius, and the funniest man in Nashville. When other songwriters were in his presence they recorded, or took notes of the things that came out of Rogers mouth. The quickest mind I have ever observed in action.

1968 - The Byrds, featuring Gram Parsons and Chris Hillman appeared on the Grand Ole Opry and played two songs.

1969 - Glen Campbell's #1 country hit "Galveston" charted on Billboard's Top 40.

1970 - Glen Campbell's Goodtime Hour featured guest Judy Collins, George Lindsey, Larry Storch and Al Martino.

1974 - The Grand Ole Opry presented its final Friday night performance at the Ryman Auditorium. The new Opry House at Opry Land would open the following evening. A large group of Opry stars came on stage to sing the final song of the night, "Will The Circle Be Unbroken." This was a very sad night for many artists, and fans. The Ryman Auditorium represented lots of things to lots of people, and all of those things were good. Tom T. Hall resigned from the Opry in protest of the move, and the devastating affects it would have on businesses and friends on lower Broadway. Tom rejoined the Opry a few years later, after Ernest Tubb told him it was time for him to come home, where he belonged.

1975 - The first anniversary of the new Grand Ole Opry House was celebrated at the Municipal Auditorium in downtown Nashville. The Cumberland River had flooded the parking lot at Opryland, and came within inches of flooding the Opry building. The Opry set a new attendance record that evening. Over 7,000 fans attended the show and anniversary celebration.

1981 - Warner Bros. released Buck Owens' single "Without You" b/w "Love Don't Make The Bars."

1985 - Anne Murray's Capitol album "A Little Good News" was certified Gold by the RIAA.

1987 - Barbara Mandrell was honored as best All-Around Female Entertainer at the People's Choice Awards.

1994 - RCA released Mike Henderson's album "Country Music Made Me Do It."

1996 - Bill Monroe gave his final performance on the Friday night Opry.

1997 - Tracy Lawrence and Dallas Cowboys cheerleader Stacie Drew were married today. Divorce proceeding were in place by September, and Tracy was convicted of spousal abuse in January 1998. His father-in-law sued him, and claimed in court that the marriage was nothing more than a publicity stunt for the singer.

1998 - Jackie Lee Cochran, age 56, Rockabilly singer, died in his sleep in Burbank, California.

1999 - Heirs of Buddy Holly's estate filed a suit charging MCA Records for allegedly not paying all royalties, forging contracts, and illegally producing albums without their consent. Imagine that, a recording company being charged with cheating one of their artists.

2001 - Natalie Maines, the Chick in the middle, gave birth to son Jackson Slade Pasdar in Austin, Texas. Natalie lives on the left coast now.

2003 - It was announced that the Grand Ole Opry House would undergo a renovation, costing 7. 5 million dollars. The work will take approximately one year to complete, but according to some sources, will not improve the quality of the Pop-Rock music provided to the audience.

2003 - Brad Paisley and actress Kimberly Williams were married in Malibu, California.

2005 - Hank Cochran, age 69, underwent triple by-pass surgery in Nashville. Cochran was inducted into the NSHF in 1974.

2005 - The Kentucky Music Hall of Fame announced that Naomi and Wynonna Judd, Sam Bush, John Conlee, and gospel singer Dottie Rambo are among the people who will be inducted into their Hall of Fame on February 23, 2006.

2005 - Hank Cochran, age 69, songwriter, underwent triple by-pass surgery in Nashville's Centennial Medical Center.

2006 - SXSW (South by South West) in Austin, Texas, opened today and runs through the 19th.

-16-

1906 - Buddy Starcher, singer, songwriter was born Oby Edgar Starcher, in rural Ripley, West Virginia.

1922 - WSB 750 AM went on the air in Atlanta, Georgia.

1942 - Jerry Jeff Walker, was born Ronald Clyde Crosby in Oneonta, New York.

1943 - David Briggs, singer, songwriter, publisher, and session musician, was born in Florence, Alabama

1943 - Shug Fisher joined the "Sons of the Pioneers" as Pat Brady's replacement, after Brady was drafted into the military.

1946 - Grandpa Jones played the Grand Ole Opry for the first time this evening.

1951 - Ray Benson founder of "Asleep At The Wheel," was born Ray Benson Siefert, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania..

1951 - Hank Williams recorded "Hey Good Lookin'," and "I Can't Help It."

1954 - Tim O'Brien, award winning singer. session player, and multi-instrumentalist, born in Wheeling, West Virginia.

1957 - Tommy Collins released "All The Monkeys Ain't In The Zoo."

1959 - Stan Thorn, keyboards, of "Shenandoah," was born in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

1962 - Marty Robbins released "Love Can't Wait" b/w "Too Far Gone."

1965 - Waylon Jennings recorded his first session for Chet Atkins, and RCA.

1965 - Michael Halpin "Tramp" Lawing of the "Cactus Brothers," was born in Marion, North Carolina.

1967 - Ronnie McCoury of the "Del McCoury Band," was born today.

1971 - The 13th Annual Grammy Awards were held this evening in California. Winners in the Country Music category include: Best Female Country Vocal Performance "Rose Garden" by Lynn Anderson; Best Male Contemporary Vocal Performance "Everything Is Beautiful" by Ray Stevens; Best Male Country Performance "For the Good Times" by Ray Price; Best Duo or Group "If I Were a Carpenter" by Johnny Cash & June Carter; Best Instrumental Performance "Me & Jerry" by Chet Atkins & Jerry Reed; Best Country Song "My Woman, My Woman, My Wife" Marty Robbins songwriter; Best Gospel Performance "Talk About the Good Times" The Oak Ridge Boys. This was the first time the show was broadcast live on TV.

1974 - With President Nixon and the First Lady of the United States in attendance, the first show at the New Grand Ole Opry House was presented to the world. This was the first time a sitting President of the United States appeared on stage at the Grand Ole Opry. Thirteen large dressing rooms were used for the first time. Dressing Room #1, permanently assigned to Roy Acuff displayed a small plaque on the door. The plaque, hung on the door by Mr. Acuff stated�?�. "Ain't nothin' gonna come up today that me and the Lord can't handle."

1974 - Nelson King voted America's best country DJ for 8 consecutive years, died at age 59. He was inducted into the CMDJHF in 1975.

1976 - Pure Prairie League's RCA Victor album "Bustin' Out" was certified Gold by the RIAA.

1984 - Shug Fisher 1907-1984, of the Sons of the Pioneers, singing cowboy, songwriter, and actor died at age 76.

1987 - George Strait's MCA album "Ocean Front Property" was certified Gold by the RIAA.

1991 - Seven members of Reba McEntire's band, and her tour manager, died in a plane crash near San Diego, California. The crash was attributed to Pilot error. Musicians who died: Chris Austin, Kirk Capello, Joey Cigainero, Paula Kaye Evans, Terry Jackson, Michael Thomas and Tony Saputo.

1999 - The RIAA initiated their Diamond Awards for record sales of singles and albums of 10 million units.

2003 - The North American Country Music Association, International, "NACMAI," inducted The Bellamy Brothers, Ferlin Husky, Razzy Bailey, Carol Lee Cooper, Don Helms, and Donnie Sumner into their Hall of Fame.

2005 - Kenny Rogers and Lionel Richie taped an episode of CMT Crossroads at the Ryman Auditorium.

2005 - Jo Dee Messina began this year's tour in Las Vegas, and will complete the tour August 7 th, in Maryland.

-17-

1932 - Dick Curless 1932-1995, born Richard William Curless, in Fort Fairfield, Maine. Dick was known as the Baron of Country Music.

1943 - Jim Weatherly singer, songwriter, born in Pontotoc, Mississippi.

1945 - David Grisman mandolin, guitar, banjo, piano, singer, and songwriter

born David Jay Grisman in Passaic, New Jersey.

1948 - Eddy Arnold's single "I'll Hold You In My Heart," topped the charts.

1951 - Bill Monroe recorded "Kentucky Waltz."

1952 - Susie Allanson recording artist, singer, pianist, and actress born in Las Vegas, Nevada.

1953 - Bob Carlin, Bluegrass banjo player was born in New York City.

1955 - Paul Overstreet singer, songwriter, and guitarist was born in Newton, Mississippi.

1956 - Carl Perkins appeared on the "Ozark Jubilee."

1956 - Elvis was #1 on the Country chart with "Heartbreak Hotel."

1962 - Willie Nelson charted his first hit on Billboard's Country chart, a duet called "Willingly" with Shirley Collie and released on Liberty Records. Shirley Collie is one of Willie's ex-wives.

1964 - Lefty Frizzell's "Saginaw, Michigan" topped the charts. The song was written by Bill Anderson and Don Wayne, and released on the Columbia label.

1972 - Tanya Tucker recorded her debut single "Delta Dawn," at Columbia's 16th Avenue studio.

Billy Sherrill produced.

1972 - Capitol Records released Freddie Hart's self-penned single "My Hang-up Is You." The record spent 6 weeks at #1.

1973 - George Jones, Tammy Wynette, and Patsy Sledd were featured guests on "Hee Haw."

1980 - Hugh Farr 1903-1980, one half of the Farr Brothers, and a member of the "Sons of the Pioneers." died at the age of 76.

1984 - Eddy Raven's first #1 single "I Got Mexico" charted.

1985 - Jimmy Gately, age 53, died in Madison, Tennessee.

1987 - Anne Murray's Capitol album "Country" was certified gold by the RIAA

1988 - Sammy Pruett, guitarist for Hank Williams' Drifting Cowboys died in Birmingham, Alabama.

1995 - Suzy Bogguss and husband Doug Crider became parents for the first time, when son Benton Charles Crider was born.

1996 - Terry Stafford, singer, songwriter died in Amarillo, Texas.

2003 - Bill Carlisle 1908-2003, age 94, died at his home near Nashville. Jumpin' Bill was a long time member of the Grand Ole Opry, and was inducted into the CMHF in 2002. Bill was cremated.

2004 - The Austin Music Awards were presented in Austin, Texas. Los Lonely Boys won the Band of the Year award. This years Hall of Fame inductees are Johnny Gimble and Ian McLagan.

2005 - Keith Urban and Katrina Elam performed at Nashville's Ryman Auditorium the 17th and 18th.

2005 - Saul Holiff, age 79, died at his home in Victoria, BC, Canada. Holiff was the long-time manager of Johnny Cash.

2007 - Roger Bennett 1959-2007, age 48, died in Houston, Texas, after losing his long battle with Leukemia. Gospel Music singer, songwriter, and pianist. Originally with the Cathedrals, Roger later co-founded the award winning Legacy Five. Roger was inducted into Gospel Music Hall of Fame in 2006. He was laid to rest in Williamson Memorial Gardens, Franklin, Tennessee.

Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorrison2002@hotmail.com

**** Country Music News ****

Not Fair
Grand Ole Opry asks Carrie Underwood to join
Saturday, March 15, 2008 � Carrie Underwood was invited to become the newest member of the Grand Ole Opry Saturday during a sold out show. Underwood will be formally inducted May 10.
During Opry Live on GAC (Great American Country), Underwood sang "I Told You So," a cut from her latest album, "Carnival Ride," originally written and recorded by Opry member Randy Travis. As Underwood accepted a standing ovation from the crowd, Travis, himself, surprised her on stage. Hugging a shocked and emotional Underwood, Travis said, "That's a better performance than I will ever do of that song. Thank you. I'm honored."

Travis went on to congratulate the artist who is on top of the charts this week with her single "All-American Girl" on having celebrated her 25th birthday earlier in the week. "To end your birthday week, I was asked by the management here at the Grand Ole Opry to come out here and ask you if you would like to be their next member," he said.

"Let me think about it," Underwood said jokingly, before immediately responding "yes!" wiping tears from her eyes. After regaining her composure, Underwood said to the crowd before launching into her song "Crazy Dreams," "This is one of the best nights of my life, and it's certainly something I'll never forget. And I'm glad each and every one of you were here to share it with me. This has been absolutely amazing."

Underwood made her Grand Ole Opry performance debut on June 10, 2005, two weeks after winning American Idol. As a child, Underwood watched and listened to the Opry.

"It is with great excitement that we invite Carrie to become the Opry's newest member," said Pete Fisher, Opry vice president and general manager. "Since her debut nearly three years ago, Carrie has not only created many memorable Opry moments with her numerous appearances and extraordinary talents, but she has also shown us that she shares a heartfelt connection and a commitment to country music and its rich legacy. We look forward to May 10 when she will be formally welcomed as the newest member of the Grand Ole Opry.

Heart of Texas Country Music Association 19th Anniversary Celebration
Schedule
March 13-16, 2008
Brady, Texas
Call (325) 597-3491 For Tickets

Thursday 2:00 PM-4:00 PM Heart of Texas Country Music Museum Open At 1701
South Bridge Free Admission

6:00 PM-10:00 PM Hillbilly Hits Radio Show KNEL FM 95.3 Cable Channel 11

Friday
2:00 PM-5:00 PM Heart of Texas Country Music Museum Open At 1701 South
Bridge Free Admission

8:00 PM-Midnight Welcome Party And Dance Ed Davenport Civic Center With
Jake Hooker & The Outsiders, Tony Booth and Amber Digby

Saturday
9:00 AM-5:00 PM Heart of Texas Country Music Museum Open At 1701 South
Bridge Free Admission

11:00 AM Ribbon Cutting For New Addition at Heart of Texas Country Music
Museum

11:00 AM-1:00 PM
*Book Signing With Ann Thompson & Warren Kice For "Hank Thompon-My Side of
Life"
*Album Signing For Tony Booth "Is This All There Is To A Honky Tonk" &
Frankie Miller "Live At The Hayride

2:00 PM-4:00 PM Anniversary Concert at Ed Davenport Civic Center With Leona
Williams, Darrell & Mona McCall, Frankie Miller, Amber Digby, Tony Booth &
Justin Trevino

7:00 PM-Midnight Anniversary Dinner and Dance With Darrell & Mona McCall,
Justin Trevino, Leona Williams & Frankie Miller

Sunday
10:00 AM-5:00 PM Heart of Texas Country Music Museum Open at 1701 South
Bridge Free Admission

www.heartoftexascountry.com

**** Amy's Kitchen ****

"Corned Beef Dinner"

1-4? pound corned beef brisket
4 allspice berries
2 bay leaves
1 teaspoon mustard seeds
1 onion, quartered 1 bulb garlic, cut crosswise so each clove is cut in half
1 teaspoon black peppercorns
1 whole clove, optional
1 medium head cabbage, cut into eighths
1? pounds small (about 1-inch diameter) red potoatoes
Directions:

Rinse corned beef under running water. Place in large pot. Add allspice, bay leaves, mustard seeds, onion, peppercorns, and clove. Add enough water to cover.
Bring to a boil, skim any scum if needed. Reduce to a simmer and cover. Cook about 4 hours, or until fork-tender. Remove and keep warm.
Strain out spices and vegetables from cooking water. Add cabbage and potatoes. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer. Cook 30 minutes until fork tender.

"Irish Beef Stew"

1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 pounds beef stewing meat cut into 1-inch cubes
4 cups beef broth
4 Tbl Worcestershire sauce
12 oz gravy (from a jar or you can make it yourself)
1 tsp sugar
6 oz tomato paste
1/2 tsp salt
1-1/2 Tbl dried thyme
4 or 5 large baking potatoes (about 3 lbs), peeled and cut into large cubes
3 cups baby carrots or regular carrots peeled and cut into 1-inch slices
1 large onion cut into chunks
Water, if necessary
Parsley

Get out your large soup pot. Seven- or eight-quart size will do it. Pour in your vegetable oil and put in your meat. Brown the meat on all sides quickly over medium high heat. Stir often to toss the meat around. You're not cooking it all the way through, just lightly browning the outside. (Five to six minutes.)

Pour in the broth, Worcestershire, gravy, sugar, tomato paste, salt and thyme. Stir this all up and bring to a boil. Then turn down to medium low. Let simmer covered for 45 minutes. Stir once in awhile to make sure nothing sticks to the bottom. You'll open the pot and be amazed at how much gravy you have!

Now it's time to peel your potatoes. (If you peel them ahead, they will turn brown.) Add the potatoes, onion and carrots to your pot. Bring to a boil again. You're going to simmer 15 to 30 minutes more until the potatoes are soft but not mushy and the carrots are cooked. If the liquid is not covering everything, you can add up to 2 cups more water and stir it into the gravy. Don't worry. The sauce will thicken up again.

Chopped parsley just adds a little color at the end as a garnish. Serve in soup bowls or other big bowls with some nice bread to soak up the sauce. Serves 6

"Shamrock Pie"

1 cup sugar
1/4 cup cornstarch
1-1/2 cups water
3 egg yolks, lightly beatn
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 tablespoons grated lemon peel
6 drops green food coloring
1 tablespoon butter
1 baked 9 inch pie shell

Meringue:
3 egg whites
1/3 cup sugar

Combine sugar, cornstarch and water in a sauce pan
stir until smooth, bring to a boil, stirring constantly.
Boil 2 minutes or until thickened. Stir a small amount
into the egg yolks, return all to pan. Cool and stir one
minute. Remove from heat. Stir in lemon juice, butter,
lemon peel, and food coloring until smooth. Pour into
crust.
For meringue, beat egg whites and sugar until stiff.
Spread on filling sealing to the edge. Bake at 350
degrees for 10 to 15 minutes or browned to likeness.

**** Today's Useless Fact ****

****A Parting Thought ****
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Last Call Y'ALL
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