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From Carlisle ,Indiana U.S.A. Welcome to The Funnies est.7-4-2000
"Friends are God's way of taking care of
us."
These are clean jokes. However, They are, PG - Not
intended for younger readers - PG
I always know God won't give me more than I can
handle, but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.
God, grant me the Senility to
forget the people I never liked , The good fortune to run into the ones
I do, And the eyesight to tell the
difference.

Thursday March 20,2008
Thought For Today: When I die ,I want a gas pump with a
sign on my grave that
states
Qut of
gas.
The Buttocks
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the
Man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the
Husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body
Because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate
Some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body
That the doctor felt was suitable would have to come
From her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they
Would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they
Requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After
All, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was
Completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his
Friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful
Beauty! One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was
Overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, 'Dear,
I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.
How can I possibly repay you?'
'My darling,' she replied,
'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother
Kiss you on the
cheek.'
If this doesn't make you smile ~ nothing will!
bAbS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda
notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you?
You look anxious."
"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and
life savings in the stock market," Jill explained.
"Oh, that's too
bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for
him."
"Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One day, at a local buffet, a
man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help!
Please, anyone! Help!"
A man from a nearby table stood up and
announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped
over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his hands around
the boys gonads, and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man then went
back to his table as though nothing had happened.
"Thank you! Thank
you!" the father cried. "Are you a paramedic?"
"No," replied the man.
"I work for the IRS." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A salesman dropped in to see a
business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying
wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal. wondering if his imagination
could be playing tricks. The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised.
This is part of my job." "Incredible!" muttered the man. "I can't believe
it! I'm going to tell your boss what a prize he has in you. An animal that
can talk!" "No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't! If that man finds out
I can talk, he make me answer the phone as
well!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A blonde and a lawyer are seated next
to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer
asks if she would like to play a fun game?
The blonde, tired, just
wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch
a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a
lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the
answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." Again, she declines and
tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you
don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I
will pay you $500.00. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring
there will be no end to this torment unlessshe plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to
the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out
a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn.
She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with
four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer
and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone
with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to
no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The
blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer,
who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's
the answer? Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the
lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An
elderly businessman buys a large house. The house is situated on a cliff
overlooking the sea. One evening, the old gentleman is out for his usual walk
before going to bed. The evening is a very blustery one. He ventures a little
too close to the cliff's edge, loses his footing and falls over the
brink.
Fortunately, he is able to grasp a very slender sapling that is
growing out of the cliff, which stops his fall. The old gentleman hangs there
for a few moments, terribly shaken. Eventually he calls out, "Is there anybody
there?"
At once a great voice seem to fill the whole of the firmament. It
comes out of the clouds, out of the sea and out of the cliff itself. It says in
measured tones, "There is always someone up here, my son. All that you need to
do is release your hold upon that small tree and you will descend safely to the
shore below."
The old gentleman considers this for a moment and takes a
look down at the jagged rocks 200 feet below him. Then he looks up again and
says, "Is there anybody else up there?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Famous Last Words:
-- I'll get a world record for this.. -- It's fireproof. -- He's
probably just hibernating. -- What does this button do? -- I'm making a
citizen's arrest. -- So, you're a cannibal. -- It's probably just a
rash. -- Are you sure the power is off? -- Yeah, I made the deciding
vote on the jury, so what of it? -- The odds of that happening have to
be a million to one! -- Pull the pin and count to what? -- Which wire
was I supposed to cut? -- I wonder where the mother bear is. -- I've
seen this done on TV. -- These are the good kind of mushrooms. -- I'll
hold it and you light the fuse. -- Let it down slowly. -- Rat poison
only kills rats. -- Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.
-- It's strong enough for both of us. -- This doesn't taste right.
-- I can make this light before it changes. -- Nice doggie. -- I can
do that with my eyes closed. -- I've done this before. -- Well, we've
made it this far. -- That's odd. -- You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses
on, would you? -- Don't be so superstitious. -- Now watch this.
-- What duck? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A man is talking to God and asks
him: "God, why did you make women so beautiful?",
To which God
replies: "so that you would find them attractive".
Then the man asks:
"God, but why did you have to make them so dumb?".
To which God
replies: "So that they would find you
attractive!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A woman was walking along the beach
when she stumbled upon a bottle. She picked it up and rubbed it,
and lo-and-behold a Genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got
three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope, sorry three-wish genies are a story-tale
myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So...what'll it be?"
The woman didn't
hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want
these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to
love Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace
and harmony."
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady,
be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years.
I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but
not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please
be reasonable."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've
never been able to find the right man. You know, one that's considerate
and fun, likes to cook and helps with the house cleaning, is great in bed and
gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and
is faithful. That's what I wish for .. a good man."
The Genie let out
a long sigh, shook his head and said, "Let me see that map
again." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Making
marriage work is like operating a farm: you have to start all over again each
morning. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two small boys, not
yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one
day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy,"
replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a
living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?"
asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied
Tommy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A policeman pulled a female driver
over and asked to see her license. After looking it over, he said to her,
"Lady, it stipulates here on your license that you should be wearing
glasses." "Well, I have contacts," the woman replied. "Look lady, I don't
care who you know," snapped the officer. "You're getting a
ticket." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A generously endowed young lady at
college often got teased by her sorority sisters for being so
top-heavy.
At a fraternity party, a young man asked her what she would
like to drink.
"Diet soda, please," she replied.
"Oh, you must
be the double D." he said.
The girl was furious, wondering which of her
so-called friends had divulged such personal information. "And just what do
you mean by that?" she snapped.
Surprised at her angry response, the
young man meekly answered, "Oh, you know -- the Designated
Driver." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** ON THIS DAY
**** Just Live by Mark Rickerby
() Jul 01, 1989 There once was a bright, young boy who thought and
thought all day and rarely joined his little friends when they went out
to play. Even when he would come out, his mind would keep on turning
and while all the others laughed and played, his questions kept on
burning. Like "Where did I come from? Why am I here?" and "Where
will I go when I die?" Very big questions for such a small boy.
Unanswered, his childhood flew by. A young man sat on a sunswept beach,
away and apart from the crowd. You see, he was thinking quite serious
thoughts and their laughter was far too loud. His nose in a book, he
just couldn't hear the young girls when they'd call out his name and
though the sun shone so very brightly above, had no time for their foolish
games. No, there were too many doors to unlock and so many knots to
untie like "Where did I come from? Why am I here?" and "Where will
I go when I die?" A middle aged man sat on the same beach, a place he had
come to know as somewhere to ponder his life's many why's though the
answers he still didn't know, when a feeling of emptiness, never so deep,
filled his heart and made him afraid. He thought of the voices of
friends, long ago, but could only hear silence today. Then he thought,
"Oh, my God. Half my life has slipped by and still, no solution is
near. I think I'll stop trying to figure it out and for once, just be
glad that I'm here." That day, his eyes opened and though nothing had
changed, the world became bright, rich and new. And as he lay back to
blend with life's colors and sounds, the great sky never seemed quite so
blue. An old man lies on a bed, close to death, but not worried, not sad
or afraid. He smiles at sweet faces, gathered around saying, "Please
Grandpa, don't go away." He says, "Don't be sad. I had a life full and
rich - something not many can say." But their young eyes were
still pleading, scared and confused so he searched for the right words to
say . . . "When I was young, I had so many worries and fears and
questions I couldn't get by. Then one day I stopped fighting and searching
in vain and decided to live till I die. I traveled the world, drank in
its wonders, found true love in a good woman's eyes, had beautiful
children, life's sweetest reward. Each one, an incredible prize. Now,
one journey ends and another begins and I was right to be patient and wait
for the mysteries that plagued my troubled, young mind can't be solved
on this side of the gate. So do one thing more for me. Know your own
beauty. Always stand strong, proud and tall. And think of my passing not
as the end but as the summer becoming the fall." do visit his site at
www.ByeByeCommute.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Today's links
Connie Sue
w/ Springtime http://www.thensingsmysoul.net/Springtime.html
Free Spirit Counters !!! http://www.thesitefights.com/userv/
Graphics http://www.accd.edu/PAC/LRC/graphics.htm
Great Bellies Quill and Ink Names http://members.tripod.com/~greatbelly/
May be
Monitored http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1171.html <a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1171.html">Here!</a>
New Portapotty http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/020.htm <a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/020.htm"> Here </a>
You mean this isn't the boat
ramp???? http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1172.html <a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1172.html">Here!</a>
The New Arkansas
Motorcycle http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/019.htm <a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/019.htm"> Here </a>
User Error http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20050124 <a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20050124"> Here </a>
New Car http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20050125 <a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20050125"> Here </a>
Possum Practical Jokes http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php? id=C20050126 <a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20050126"> Here
Thinking What I'm Thinking? http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny987.html <a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny987.html">Here!</a>
Cross The Road? http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny945.html <a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny945.html">Here!</a>
Gilette http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny273.html <a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny273.html">Here!</a> </a> The human
tongue is only a few inches from the brain, but when you listen to some
people talk, they seem miles
apart.
You can join The Funnies To subscribe, Click on link
below http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies published 5 x weekly.No
censorship ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please help, it won't cost ya
a thing but it will really feel
good ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Free Food For Homeless Dogs http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you
know. http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
Organ and Tissue
Donation/Transplanation http://www.organdonor.gov/
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to
AutismSpeaks for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward
research studies to help find a cure for
autism. http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214
About Free
Rice Free Rice is a sister site of the world
poverty site http://www.freerice.com/about.html Poverty.com No one
should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim
**** IRL Motor Sports **** open wheel at it's best
If you drive a car I'll tax the street
Zappatista has pointed out an eye-opening article
in the Indianapolis Business Journal that explains how the property taxes in
Marion County, Indiana are getting more than a little wacky.
In 2005, assessors valued the 559-acre Indianapolis Motor Speedway
at $34.4 million for property tax purposes. According to the latest figures
from the Marion County reassessment, it now has a market value of $170
million.
If the new assessment stands, the track’s annual
gross property tax bills would increase fivefold, to more than $5 million,
assuming tax rates remain constant.
Track spokesman Fred
Nation expressed surprise that Marion County had assigned a $170 million
property tax value to “a piece of land with a bunch of grandstands around
it.”
(MORE from IBJ.com) Five million
bucks would just about pay for another race team. Just sayin'. Anyhow, if you
notice things being a little more expensive for your annual trip to IMS, now you
have a better idea why.
****Bill's Country
Calendar **** ****This
Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission from the
original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © **** Thanks
Bill
-20-
1897 - Frank Hutchison, vocals, guitarist and harmonica, born in
Logan, West Virginia.
1926 - Benny Garcia Jr., legendary Western Swing guitarist, was
born in Oklahoma City. Inducted Oklahoma Music Hall of Fame in 2003.
1926 - The Southern Serenaders, led by Harry Bailey debuted on
the WSM Barn Dance.
1927 - Dewey Balfa 1927-1992, Cajun recording artist, of the
"Balfa Brothers," was born near Big Mamou, Louisiana.
1935 - "Your Hit Parade" debuted on network radio 1935.
1937 - Jerry Reed singer, songwriter, guitarist and actor was
born Jerry Reed Hubbard in Atlanta, Georgia. Jerry was inducted into the Georgia
Music Hall of Fame in 1987.
1937 - Tommy Hunter singer, songwriter, guitarist, and pianist
born London, Ontario, Canada. Tommy hosted the "Tommy Hunter Show," for
twenty-seven years on CBC in Canada. This was the longest running network
Country music show in history. Tommy is known as "Canada's Country
Gentleman."
1938 - Jo Ann Campbell, singer, actress, born in Jacksonville,
Florida.
1939 - Don Edwards, Western music singer, songwriter, born
Boonton, New Jersey.
1939 - Samuel Wellington of "The Four Guys," born in
Steubenville, Ohio.
1946 - Ranger Doug, "Douglas Bruce Green" of Riders in the Sky
born Great Lakes, Illinois.
1948 - Eddy Arnold's #1 single "Anytime," charted.
1949 - Hank Williams recorded "Wedding Bells" and "I Just Told
Mama Goodbye."
1954 - Jim Seales, guitarist, bassist, of "Shenandoah," born in
Hamilton, Alabama.
1961 - Faron Young's single "Hello Walls" charted and eventually
hit #1.
1963 - George Hamilton IV recorded his #1 single "Abilene."
1976 - The Governor proclaimed Johnny Cash Homecoming Day in
Kingsland, Arkansas.
1984 - The Judds performed their first concert in Omaha,
Nebraska, when they opened for the Statler Brothers.
1987 - Capitol released "The Very Best of Glen Campbell."
2001 - Cleveland International released David Allan Coe's album
"Songwriter of the Tear."
2002 - Alison Krauss' CD "New Favorite" was certified gold by
the RIAA
2006 - The Kennedy Center in partnership with the Country Music
Hall of Fame ® and Museum presented Country: A Celebration of America's Music
March 20’??April 9, 2006. This celebration featured performances by some of the
greatest country music artists from across the nation.
2006 - The Roots of Country Music Concert was held in the
Kennedy Center's Rehearsal Room. featuring Ralph Stanley, Jim Lauderdale, John
Rumble, and James Shelton. Tickets were $15.00.
2007 - Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson, and Ray Price's 2 CD set
"Last of the Breed" was released today.
Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views"
Page Compiled by
Bill Morrison -
billmorrison2002@hotmail.com
**** Country Music News ****
More Academy of Country Music nominations
announced
Wednesday, March 19, 2008 – The Academy of Country Music
announced Wednesday nominations for its awards show for categories including
musicians, radio stations and concert venues. Among those nominated were
Blair Garner After MidNight for the National Air Personality of the Year to Tony
Brown and Frank Rogers for producer of the year. Brown has produced George
Strait, while Rogers has done the same honors for Brad
Paisley.
The 43rd
ACM awards will be held May 18 in Las Vegas.
NATIONAL
ON-AIR PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR Bill Cody's Classic Country Weekend Blair
Garner After MidNite Danny Wright All Night The Big D and Bubba Show
The Lia Show
ON-AIR
PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR - MAJOR MARKET KEEY (Minneapolis, MN) - Chris Carr
KSON (San Diego, CA) - Cliff and Company: Cliff, Morgan, Tanner and Tori
WMIL (Greenfield, WI) - Karen, Scott and Radar WSIX (Nashville, TN) -
Gerry House & The House Foundation: Mike Bohan, Al Voecks, Duncan Stewart
and Richard Falklen WUSN (Chicago, IL) - Trish
Biondo
ON-AIR
PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR - MEDIUM MARKET WBBS (Syracuse, NY) - Ron Bee and
Becky Palmer WOKQ (Dover, NH) Mark Ericson and Danielle Carrier WWGR
(Bonita Springs, FL) - Valleri St. John WYCT (Pensacola, FL) - Brent Lane,
Dana Cervantes and Jim Sanborn WYNK (Baton Rouge, LA) - Scott
Innes
ON-AIR
PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR - SMALL MARKET KCLR (Columbia, MO) - Carrie Bremer
& Scotty Cox WBKR (Owensboro, KY) - Moon, Chad and Kelly WGSQ
(Cookeville, TN) - Gator & The StyckMan WGSQ (Cookeville, TN) - McFly
and The Ride Home: Marty McFly and Stewart James WKDQ (Evansville, IN) - The
Donut Holes: Jon Prell, Lori Mae, Gene Stewart and Kim
Kavanaw
RADIO
STATION OF THE YEAR - MAJOR MARKET KYGO (Denver, CO) WMIL (Greenfield,
WI) WQYK (St. Petersberg, FL) WUBE (Cincinnati, OH) WXTU
(Philadelphia, PA)
RADIO
STATION OF THE YEAR - MEDIUM MARKET KSSN (Little Rock, AR) KUAD
(Windsor, CO) WGNA (Schenectady, NY) WUSY-FM (Chattanooga, TN) WYRK
(Buffalo, NY)
RADIO
STATION OF THE YEAR - SMALL MARKET WFRY (Watertown, NY) WGSQ
(Cookeville, TN) WJCL (Savannah, GA) WTCR (Huntington, WV) WWJO (St.
Cloud, MN)
PRODUCER
OF THE YEAR Mark Bright Tony Brown Byron Gallimore Frank Rogers
Mark Wright
AUDIO
ENGINEER OF THE YEAR Chuck Ainlay Jeff Balding Julian King Kyle
Lehning Justin Niebank
TOP BASS
PLAYER OF THE YEAR Mike Brignardello Dennis Crouch Alison Prestwood
Michael Rhodes Jimmie Lee Sloas
TOP
PERCUSSIONIST/DRUMMER OF THE YEAR Shannon Forrest Paul Leim Chris
McHugh Greg Morrow Lonnie Wilson
TOP
FIDDLE PLAYER OF THE YEAR Glen Duncan Stuart Duncan Larry Franklin
Joe Spivey Jonathan Yudkin
TOP
GUITARIST OF THE YEAR Tom Bukovac J.T. Corenflos Kenny Greenberg
Dann Huff Bryan Sutton
TOP
PIANO/KEYBOARDS PLAYER OF THE YEAR Tony Harrell John Jarvis Steve
Nathan Michael Rojas Matt Rollings
TOP
SPECIALTY INSTRUMENT(S) PLAYER OF THE YEAR Eric Darken Jerry Douglas
Dan Dugmore Aubrey Haynie Jim Horn
TOP
STEEL GUITAR PLAYER OF THE YEAR Dan Dugmore Paul Franklin Lloyd
Green Gary Morse Russ Pahl
VENUE OF
THE YEAR Crystal Grand Music Theatre, Lake Delton, WI DTE Energy Music
Center, Detroit, MI Nissan Pavilion, Bristow, VA Rialto Square Theatre,
Joliet, IL Star Plaza Theatre , Merriville,
IN
NIGHTCLUB OF THE YEAR Billy Bob's, Ft. Worth, TX Cowboy's,
Colorado Springs, CO Coyote Joe's, Charlotte, NC Joe's, Chicago, IL
Wild Bill's, Duluth, GA
CASINO
OF THE YEAR Casino Rama, Orillia, ONT Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, CT
Soaring Eagle Casino & Resort, Mt. Pleasant, MI Star of the Desert
Arena, Primm, NV Turning Stone Casino, Verona,
NY
DON
ROMEO TALENT BUYER OF THE YEAR Todd Boltin, Variety Attractions Gil
Cunningham, Neste Event Marketing Gary Osier, Gary Osier Presents Fran
Romeo, Romeo Entertainment Group Randy Wright, Integrity
Events
PROMOTER
OF THE YEAR Brad Garrett, Police Productions Don Kronberg, Nitelite
Promotions Darin Lashinsky, Outback Concerts Brian O'Connell, LiveNation
Glenn Smith, Glenn Smith Presents
"American Idol" LOS ANGELES There was
little love for Kristy Lee Cook on last night's "American Idol." Simon Cowell
called Cook "musical wallpaper." He said "You notice it, but you can't remember
it." He skewered her performance of the Beatles "You've Got to Hide Your Love
Away." Paula tried to be positive, by saying Cook looked very pretty. Cowell
also blasted Chikezie's bluegrass version of the Beatles "I've Just Seen a
Face," saying "that's not a song to be proud of." The winners of the night were
Syesha Mercado and David Archuleta. The judges called Mercado's rendition of
"Yesterday," her best performance so far. And Archuleta redeemed himself from
last week where he forgot the words to his song. Randy Jackson said Archuleta
had "brought the hotness back to his game." On tonight's "American Idol,"
another contestant will get the boot . Also, Idol alum Kellie Pickler will
perform.
"Dancing With The Stars" LOS ANGELES An impressive
debut by Priscilla Presley on last night's ABC's "Dancing with the Stars." Her
fox trot won rave reviews from the judges. Bruno Tonioli called her performance
"an uncompromising smoking hot fox trot." Len Goodman also thought she did a
great job. Carrie Ann Inaba said Presley was the queen of the dance floor,
proving age was just a number. At 62, Presley is the oldest female contestant so
far. The judges did caution Presley to watch her posture. She scored 24 points.
Figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi leads the women with 27 out of 30 points. Tennis
champ Monica Seles is last.
Priscilla Presley Opens Up About Dancing With
The Stars LOS ANGELES Priscilla Presley says "Dancing with the Stars" has
decimated her social life. She tells Elvis.com "I have no life now, it's
dancing, dancing, dancing." Presley says gearing up for the show has been
brutal, grueling and fun. Presley, a self described perfectionist, confesses
that not everything has gone smoothly in rehearsal. She says "I've got bruises
already on my body from the grabs, flips, twists and turns." She says she's
doing acupuncture to help with some of the pain.
Order Trace's Cowboy
Club At Quiznos Country Music World The sandwich Adkins created for
Quiznos as part of a challenge on "Celebrity Apprentice" is now on the menu at
the sandwich chain. Trace Adkins Cowboy Club is on sale through April 6th. The
club features prime rib, mozzarella cheese, sautDeed onions, bacon and chipotle
mayonnaise.
"Celebrity Apprentice" NEW YORK Has Trace Adkins taken
his last meeting with Donald Trump? He's one of the final four competitors left
on the show. But that'll quickly be whittled down to two, as two celebrity
contestants will be fired at the start of this week's show. The two remaining
finalists will have to put on a charity auction and concert featuring The
Backstreet Boys. They'll be helped out by former Celebrity Apprentice alumni.
The live finale of 'The Celebrity Apprentice' airs next Thursday on
NBC.
More Performers Announced For Cmt Music Awards Country Music
World Some more star power has been added to the list of performers for next
month's CMT Music Awards. Faith Hill, Tim McGraw, Kenny Chesney, LeAnn Rimes,
Keith Urban and Brooks and Dunn will take the stage. Previously announced
performers include Rascal Flatts, Toby Keith and Alan Jackson. Billy Ray Cyrus
and Miley Cyrus are hosting the show on April 14th from Nashville.
Two
Officers Accused Of Holding Steve Holy At Gunpoint Have Been
Indicted DALLAS Two Dallas police officers accused of holding singer Steve
Holy and a friend at gunpoint last year have been indicted on charges that could
bring them up to 20 years in prison. The officers have since been fired. They
were allegedly drinking and playing foosball at Holy's home when an argument
broke out about Holy's identity. One of the officers didn't believe Holy was
really the country singer. Holy told investigators that the officers pointed
their guns at him and a friend and ordered them to the ground. The four men had
gone to Holy's house after meeting at a bar.
Luke Bryan And Wife Welcome
A Son NASHVILLE, Tenn. Luke Bryan is a new dad. His wife Caroline gave
birth to their son yesterday in Nashville. They've named him Thomas Boyer Bryan.
They're going to call him "Bo." This is their first child. Bryan says mom and
baby "are doing great." He calls the birth of his son, "one of the greatest
moments in my life."
Denise Jackson Offers Readers Words Of
Wisdom Country Music World Alan Jackson's wife is coming out with a new
inspirational book. "The Road Home," will be released May 13th. In the book,
Denise Jackson shares life lessons and personal journeys. She says "It's never
too late to choose the road that leads to abundant, joyful living." Jackson
shares how, one step at a time, she renewed her faith and chose the road that
led to joy, peace, fulfillment and adventure. She says she wanted to offer her
readers "the same life changing truths that transformed my life." Denise
Jackson's first book "It's All About Him: Finding The Love of My Life," debuted
at Number One on the New York Times List of Best-sellers.
5th Annual Toby
Keith & Friends Golf Classic Set For June 6th And 7th NORMAN,
Okla. Toby Keith is continuing his work to help Oklahoma children with
cancer. He'll be hosting the 5th Annual Toby Keith & Friends Golf Classic at
Belmar Golf Course in Norman, Oklahoma on Saturday, June 7th. The tournament
continues the tradition of supporting Ally's House, an organization that Keith
helped establish. It assists pediatric cancer patients and their families
throughout the state. The foundation is named for Allison Webb, daughter of
Keith's friend and original bandmate Scott Webb. Ally died of cancer in August
of 2003, one month short of her third birthday.
Graceland To Unveil Two
New Exhibits Chronicling Key Anniversaries In Elvis' Life MEMPHIS,
Tenn. Some never before seen personal items belonging to Elvis Presley are
going on display at Graceland this month. One exhibit features items from
Presley's Army days. It includes his fatigues, dress uniforms and army foot
locker. Another exhibit includes items from Presley's 1968 TV concert event. It
features a wristband he wore with the famous black leather outfit, and several
of his costumes. Graceland's also beefed up its VIP Tour, which now lets fans
see the deed to Graceland and the living room furniture from Elvis and
Priscilla's honeymoon hideaway in Palm Springs, which has never before been
displayed to the public. The exhibits open to the public this coming
Monday.
**** Amy's Kitchen
**** Strawberry Cake Supreme 1 white cake mix 1/2 c. oil 1 small pkg.
strawberry Jello 1/2 c. water 1 c. strawberries, washed and drained 4
eggs
Grease and flour a tube pan. Chop strawberries and drain. Mix cake
with Jell-O, oil, water, strawberries, and eggs. Beat for 4 minutes
total while adding eggs one at a time. Pour into tube pan; bake in
preheated oven at 350 degrees for 40 to 50 minutes.
**** Today's True Fact ****
MAN
CLINGING TO BOAT: SAVE MY DOG FIRST
CORE, W.Va. Life jackets are made for
people, not dogs. So, when Randy Earl's small boat capsized while he was fishing
with his dog Lacy, a black spaniel mix, he stayed in the water with his life
jacket while making sure Lacy was OK.
"When the boat flipped over, I put
the dog on top of the boat," Earl told The Dominion Post of
Morgantown.
While waiting for someone to rescue them on Mason Lake in
northern West Virginia, Earl clung to the 12-foot boat's hull. The water
temperature was about 50 degrees, said J.M. Crawley, a senior conservation
officer for the Division of Natural Resources.
Another fisherman, Jan
Thorn, watched from shore as a state trooper paddled out to rescue Earl and
Lacy.
"He asked the state trooper to take the dog first," Thorn said. "It
was very touching."
Earl, 53, said Lacy means a lot to him and his wife
since they lost both of their children in a car accident 15 years
ago.
"That dog is like a child to us," he said.
****A Parting Thought **** I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the
document back to the sender when I finished with it, because he needed to
keep it.
Last Call
Y'ALL See ya tomorrow Buds
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