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strictly a DOUBLE opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM If you choose to censore or delete it.The only ones hurt are those waiting on it and the people they could have helped  From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A. Welcome to The Funnies est.7-4-2000 "Friends are God's way of taking care of us." These are clean jokes. However, They are, PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG
Tuesday
May 6,2008 One night, we were
having dinner at a nice restaurant. Everybody had ordered, received their meals
and enjoyed every bite. When we were finished, the waitress came over with the
bill, set it in front of my husband, then asked me, "How did you find your
steak?" Before I could answer, my five-year-old daughter Kathie replied, "Oh! It
was easy. She just moved her potato over, and there it was on the
plate!" My husband and I were on a flight to San Diego, he on
business, me
to continue on to El Paso. As the plane arrived in San Diego, he collected his things, kissed me goodbye and left with the other departing passengers. "That's sweet," said the woman sitting next to us. "I always just drop my husband at the curb." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The map her friend had drawn indicated that the client a
country
vet was to see lived in the second farm past Yin road. Try as she might, the vet could not find a Yin Road anywhere! Exasperated, she finally stopped to ask directions. She stopped and asked at the next farm. "I ain't never heard of no Yin Road." said the farmer. "But ya might try askin' old man McGillicuddy, he's lived 'round here for better 'n 70 years." "Thanks," replied the vet. "Where can I find him?" "He lives on the second farm past the Y in the road." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A customer in a bakery was observed carefully
examining all the rich-looking
pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. When a clerk approached her and asked, "What would you like?" The woman answered, "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream- filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish." Then with a sigh she added, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical
need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My brother dropped off his wife at the
hairstylist and she was supposed to call me when she was ready to be picked up. She must have dialed a wrong number, she reported later. She called, and a man said "Hello," to which she cheerfully said, "Come and get me!" The man said, "Are you sure? This is Mitchell's funeral home." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ At the local gas utility written orders are issued to change meters when they are old or malfunctioning. On the order sheet is a "remarks" section, where the service representative notes any problems that prevented the job from being completed. The most succinct explanation to ever come back was this: "Dog does not want meter to be changed." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing. As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one crew member looked back and spotted a deer running across the highway. Turning to a co-worker he said, "I wonder how long he's been waiting to cross?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One of the local television stations in South Louisiana Aired an interview with a woman from New Orleans. The interviewee was asked if the complete devastation of the Churches in the area had affected their lives. Without hesitation, the woman replied, 'I don't know about all Those other peoples, but we haven't gone to Churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this place called?" he asked the station attendant. "All depends," the native drawled. "Do you mean by them that has to live in this ugly, moth-eaten, dust-covered dump, or by them that's merely enjoying its quaint and picturesque rustic charms for a short spell." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today's Links:
Video Wooden Boat Building
Spiral pictures - Spiral photo gallery
http://spiral. Michigan Shoreline http://www.aerialpi First Crossword Puzzle Via Dianne http://www.neatoram Game Kickups
How long can you keep the soccer ball in the air?
http://www.brainbashers.com/gameloader/loader.asp?game=212
U.S. Navy - Battleships: List of Battleships http://www.chinfo. Help for Single Parents http://singleparent Real Fantasy Trees http://www.shangral Stop
Squirming Silly
Dog "'Tis more blessed to give than to receive; for example, wedding presents." (H.L. Mencken) Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
-6- Cliff Carlisle, recording artist/guitarist born Taylorville, KY 1904. The Carter Family recorded "Will The Circle Be Unbroken," in 1935, on their second straight day of recording. Luches Kessinger, age 37, of the Kessinger Brothers, died 1944. Jimmie Dale Gilmore, singer/songwriter/guitarist born Amarillo, TX 1945. The Delmore Brothers recorded "Blues Stay Away From Me," 1949. Hank Williams' "Long Gone Lonesome Blues" was No. 1 in 1950. David Ray Robbins, "BlackHawk," born Atlanta, GA 1959. Don Gibson topped the charts with "Oh Lonesome Me" 1959. Eddy Arnold's "I Want To Go With You" went to #1 in 1966. Merle Haggard topped the charts with "Things Aren't Funny Anymore" 1974. Alabama's "Mountain Music" was #1 1982. The Academy of Country Music celebrated it 20th anniversary in 1985. Songwriter Otis Blackwell, age 70, died in Nashville, in 2001. NSHF 1986. Naomi Judd and Larry Strickland were married in Nashville, TN 1989. Dan Seals' "Love On Arrival" was #1 1990. Billy Hughes, age 86, fiddler/songwriter, died 1995. Country Music Hall of Famer Charlie Pride, age 66, was hospitalized in Dallas and will undergo brain surgery 2004. Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views"
Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorrison2002@hotmail.com **** Country Music News **** Hank Jr., Miranda Lambert, Trace Adkins, Ralph Stanley lead BamaJam line-up Monday, May 5, 2008 – A line-up including Miranda Lambert, Trace Adkins, Randy Owen, Ralph Stanley, Ricky Skaggs and Hank Williams Jr. is set for the first BamaJam Music & Arts Festival June 5 - 7 in Enterprise, Ala. "BamaJam tickets are outselling our expectations," said Ted Hacker, Event Producer, Ronnie Gilley Entertainment. He did not specify how many tickets were sold. Artists appearing on the Main Stage, Thursday, June 5 are: Ashton
Shepherd, Heartland, Darryl Worley, Little Big Town, Randy
Owen.
Friday, June 6: Rio Grand, Jason Michael Carroll, Houston County,
Tracy Lawrence, Trace Adkins, ZZ Top
Saturday, June 7: James Otto, Eric Church, Miranda Lambert, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Hank Williams, Jr. Artists appearing on the Alternative
Stage:
Friday, June 6: Zac Brown Band, Keller Williams, Nanci Griffith,
Corey Smith, Old Crow Medicine
Show
Saturday, June 7: The Wood Brothers, Marc Broussard, Railroad
Earth, Yonder Mountain String Band, Gov't
Mule
Acts appearing on the Bluegrass
Stage:
Friday, June 6: Pure & Simple, The Duhks, The Claire Lynch
Band, Cherryholmes, Ralph
Stanley
Saturday, June 7: Blue Highway, Mountain Heart, Dan Tyminski, The
Del McCoury Band, Ricky Skaggs
Non-music activities include food, arts and crafts available from
local crafts people, a karaoke tent and kids activities. Tickets to BamaJam are
$49.50 - $129.50
**** Amy's Kitchen **** Diabetic Delight...
3-Cheese Pasta
Source: dLife 10.75 oz Soup, cream of mushroom, reduced sod, cond, canned 1 tsp Seasoning, Italian medley 0.5 cup fresh mushroom slices 0.25 cup Cheese, parmesan, dried, grated, reduced fat 0.33 cup Cheese, mozzarella, reduced fat, shredded 0.33 cup Cheese, cheddar, low fat, shredded 1.5 cup Pasta, egg, enrich, cooked, rinsed and drained 0.5 cup Corn, yellow, kernels, super sweet, frozen, thawed 1 Mix together the mushroom soup, Italian seasoning, mushrooms, and parmesan cheese in a skillet sprayed with butter flavored cooking spray. 2 Stir in the mozzarella cheese and Cheddar cheese, and then cook over medium heat for about 3 minutes, stirring often. 3 Mix in the noodles and corn, and then lower heat and simmer for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Nutrition Facts Serving size: 1 cup Amount Per Serving Calories 234.5 Total Carbs 25.4g Dietary Fiber 2.7g Sugars 2.3g Total Fat 10.5g Saturated Fat 2.5g Unsaturated Fat 8g Protein 10.3g Sodium 698.1mg Dietary Exchanges Fat 1.2, Meat 0.8, Starch 1.6, Vegetable 0.1 ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Low / No Fat:
Apple Phyllo Pie
From Low Fat Cooking. 5 Granny Smith Apples, peeled, cored, and sliced 1/4 cup brown sugar 1 tsp cinnamon 1/4 tsp nutmeg 1 tbsp lemon juice 1 tbsp flour 1/4 cup honey 2 tbsp warm water 6 sheets 9-inch by 14-inch phyllo dough Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Coat a 9-inch pie plate with nonstick cooking spray. Peel, core and slice apples thinly. Combine apples, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, lemon and flour in a large bowl and set aside. In a small pitcher or bowl, mix honey with warm water. Stack six phyllo sheets on a clean surface Working quickly, brush the top sheet with the honey mixture and lay on the pie plate. Push the dough into the plate, leaving the sides overhanging. Brush the next sheet and lay on top of the first sheet. Brush the third layer and lay it so that the sides overhang the opposite side of the plate, making a cross shape. Do the same with the fourth sheet. Brush the fifth sheet with honey and lay it at an angle to the other sheets, and lay the sixth sheet at the opposite angle to the fifth. Spoon apple mixture into the pie plate, forming a large mound. Gather overhanging sides of phyllo sheets up to form a galette-style pie (where some of the fruit remains exposed in the center). Place in the oven and Bake for 30-35 minutes. Serves 6-8 Per Serving: Calories 173, Calories from Fat 9, total Fat 1g (sat 0.3g), Cholesterol 0mg, Sodium 60mg, Carbohydrate 39.9, Fiber 2.5g, Protein 1.1g
That'sreally smart.Tell'em where it's at We used to settle our problems over coffee and cigarettes,
now they are our problems
Disclaimer : All of my materials are Borrowed from various areas on the web and from my readers. All are
believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright
on any of these materials please inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which
ever you prefer. ~ GOD BLESS AMERICA ~ To subscribe, Click on a link below http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies ~ To unsubscribe from this opt-in mailing list click on link at the end of this mailing ~ Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or comments at: jim4615@verizon.net Jim Dowers P.O. Box 521 Carlisle, IN 47838-0521 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Unsubscribe link is at the END of this list God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand &&&&&&&&&& THIS DOCUMENT IS VIRUS FREE Scanned by Avast virus protection and AVG EDITION 7.5 ~ Thedailyfunnies-unsubscribe@topica.com |
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