I always know God won't give me more than I can handle,
but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

Billie jo Spears
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpA0oPR_EOQ
Today's country music video for: 
 

Wednesday May 7,2008


Thought For Today: "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city."  George Burns

Two blondes,Becky and Sally Ann were doing some carpenter work on a house.
Becky who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out
a nail and either use it or throw it over her shoulder. Sally Ann,
figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those
nails away?". Becky explained, "When I pull out a nail out of my pouch,
about half of them have the head on the wrong end, so I throw them
away". Sally Ann got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those
nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend, an ex-Marine Aviator, wanted to show off his new
twin- engine plane. I was riding along as he put it through its paces.
Suddenly, we were caught in a violent thunderstorm, with lightning
crashing all around us. Next, we lost the radio and most of the instruments.

As we were being tossed around in the sky, George said, "Uh-oh!"

Fearing the worst, I asked, "What's wrong now?"

George replied, "I got the hiccups. Do something to scare me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A burglar alarm sent out its piercing wail in the dark of a December
night in Brooklyn, and the police arrived just in time to collar the
burglar, Morris Spiegel, as he was leaving the premises with a big bag
full of loot. Soon, he was in court, facing a grim-looking judge.

"Did you have an accomplice?" asked the judge.

"What's an accomplice?" replied Morris.

"A partner. In other words, did you commit this crime by yourself?"

"What else?" demanded the culprit? "Who can get honest and reliable
help these days?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With his neatly packed clothes in a small suitcase, my nine-year- old son went off to camp. Two weeks later I picked him up. When I unpacked his things, I was impressed at how clean and well folded everything was, considering he is normally rather untidy with his possessions. "Camp sure has changed you," I said. "Look how well you packed." "It was simple, Mom," he answered. "I didn't unpack."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In preparation for our family holiday in Hawaii, I had bought fabric the sales clerk assured me was an authentic Hawaiian print. I made shorts-and-shirt sets for my husband and teenage son. The first morning of our holiday they both hurried down to the hotel pool but returned very shortly. After the third person had asked them for beach chairs and towels, they realized that the entire hotel staff was uniformed in the same authentic Hawaiian print they were wearing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached
an airman and requested a vehicle pass.

The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his
military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration.

Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman
asked,

"What's BG stand for -- Big Guy?"

"No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. . .

   "Try Brigadier General."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My mother had put a glass pot of freshly brewed coffee on the stove, ready for us after we finished washing the dishes. As I leaned over holding a mug, I broke a small portion of the coffeepot. Mom poured the coffee out, put the pot in the garbage and started another. We sat down to wait for the second batch to drip, and I apologized again for ruining the coffeepot. "That's okay," Mom said. "I needed a little break before having coffee."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just minutes before the church services started the
towns people were sitting in their pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front
entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get
away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone had exited the church except
for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving,
seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his
presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

"Nope, sure ain't" said the man.

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in
an even tone.

"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical
agony forever?"

"Yep," was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

"Nope. "

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked,
"Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your
sister for 45 years."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pitcher Bill Werle got Bill Nicholson to hit a high infield popup
in front of the mound. As trained, he called for an infielder to make the play.
"Eddie's got it! Eddie's got it!," he yelled.

Then, he watched the ball fall untouched as catcher Eddie Fitzgerald,
first baseman Eddie Stevens and third baseman Eddie Bockman looked on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom
he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that
ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is
good!"
       One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition.
The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had
apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after
taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was
blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This
is good!"
       The king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send
his friend to jail.
       About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he
should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took
them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a
stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the
wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being
superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole.
       Untying the king, they sent him on his way.
       As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken
his thumb, and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went
immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he
said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to
tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so am very sorry for
sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."
       "No," his friend replied, "This is good!"
       "What do you mean, 'This is good?' How could it be good that I
sent my friend to jail for a year?"
       "If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Joe Pepitone first came to the Cubs, he told manager Leo Durocher
he was fast enough to steal. So the first time Pepitone reached first, Durocher
decided to test him. First base coach Peanuts Lowery flashed the sign to Pepitone -
a wink. Pepitone didn't budge. So Lowery winked again. Still, Pepitone stood pat.
Again, Lowery winked. This time, Pepitone responded. He blew Lowery a kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Told to get a statement from the Giants' Dominican players after Generalissmo Trujillo was assassinated in the Dominican Republic, a reporter came back from the clubhouse and approached his editor.

"They said they didn't do it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm still not good when it comes to reading my wife's signals.

Sure the teddy, candles and mood music suggested a little romance,
but I'd swear the bright red lipstick shouted, "Stop! You must make a sandwich
and watch Sports Center first."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.

Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As young men and women enter the work force,
they usually receive lots of advice. Lucky ones will be told
about one essential item that will get them
on the fast track to success: an alarm clock.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Jewish couple won twenty-million dollars in the lottery. They
immediately set out to begin a life of luxury.

They bought a magnificent mansion estate in Southampton and surrounded
themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

They then decided to have a butler and, wanting the best, they traveled
to London to hire one. They found the perfect butler through an agency
and brought him back to their estate.

The day after his arrival, they instructed him to set up the dining room
table for 4 people, that they were inviting the Cohens to brunch. The
couple then left the house to do some shopping.

When they returned, they found the table set for 8 people. They asked
the butler why eight, when they had specifically instructed him to set
the table for just four.

The butler replied. . . . .

"The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Bagels and the
Kitschs."
~~~

Sign seen at a southern KFC Resturant:
To get a better piece of chicken
you'd have to be a Rooster!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When shopping online, it's easy to forget that you may not be dealing
with a large corporation. I recently emailed a website asking why my
purchases hadn't arrived a week after I'd paid for them. Later the phone
rang. "Sorry for the delay," said a teenager. "I'll check and get back to
you. I can't get on my computer right now because my mother's vacuuming
and this room has only one socket."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My husband, an auto mechanic, was on the kidney-transplant list.
As you can imagine, it was a tense time for our family. But one day,
the phone rang and our teenage son answered. It was the hospital with
good news. "Dad" he yelled excitedly. "Your parts are in!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sherri took her sons Max, three and Caleb, five to swim at the local public
pool. They changed into their swimsuits and Sherri led them to the steps
at the shallow end of the pool just as a group of elderly women were getting
ready to swim some laps. Max stared curiously at them.
"Mom" he said loudly, "How come those ladies have such big..." Sherri
hurriedly clamped her hand over his mouth, afraid of what was coming next.
"Goggles," came the muffled last word
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As an elementary teacher, I often use stickers as rewards. When one of my students
stuck a little heart on my blouse, I asked, "What's this for?"
"You were a good teacher today," she replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I asked my boss today how she was doing and this was her response,
came from her 5 year old:
"I was sitting at my vanity putting on my make up this morning and
Alissa was standing by me picking up things and puttting them down
and looking at me in the mirror. Finally she looks at me and says
"Which one do you use to get those big dark circles under your eyes?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julies Jukebox
http://www.jhegarty.com/sounds/music.htm

Big Band Era
http://hometown.aol.com/cle1019/index.htm

Tesla Roadster
http://auto.howstuffworks.com/tesla-roadster.htm

Was Your Ancestor Decapitated during the French Revolution
http://les.guillotines.free.fr/

Guillotine are you conscious?
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_262.html

Cute Pictures
http://www.awwpix.com/

HOW TO QUIT SMOKING
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/BibleStudy/quitsmoking.html
 

Why?
http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20060507
<a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20060507"> Here

</a>

Senseless Death
http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20060508
<a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20060508"> Here

</a>

Confused Elephant
http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20060509
<a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20060509"> Here

</a>

Firing The Cleaning Lady
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/027.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/027.htm"> Here </a>

The World Without Engineers
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/028.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/028.htm"> Here </a>

Pampered?
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1302.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1302.html">Here!</a>

More Activity
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny806.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny806.html">Here!</a>

Cow Pranks?
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny807.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny807.html">Here!</a>

For Better , For Worse, But NOT...
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny808.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny808.html">Here!</a>

"An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell
Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger." - Dan Rather

Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/ 

The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism. 
 http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
 Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim

****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****
Thanks Bill

-7-

Riley Puckett "The Skillet Lickers," born Alphareta, GA 1894.

Gale Binkley of the Binkley Brothers Dixie Clodhoppers, born Cheatham County, TN 1896.

Kyle Bailes of the Bailes Brothers, born Enoch, WV 1915.

Jim Lowe born Springfield, MO 1927.

Hollywood columnist Louella Parsons reported in her column in 1940: "Roy Acuff, young hill-billy brought here by Republic Pictures from Nashville, is suffering from appendicitis and will be operated on as soon as the picture is finished." The film, "Grand Ole Opry" was finished a short time later, but Roy had seen all of Hollywood that he cared to. He loaded the Smokey Mountain Boys into their touring car, and headed back to his beloved Tennessee. Upon arriving in Nashville, Roy was immediately admitted to St. Thomas Hospital, and the appendix was removed.

Lorie Collins "Collins Kids," born Tahlequah, OK 1942.

Terry Allen, Vocals/Keyboards, born Wichita, KS 1943.

Hank Williams' "Lovesick Blues" went to #1 in 1949. This was Hank's first #1 record.

Bill Haley & The Comets released "Rock Around The Clock" 1955.

Werly Fairburn joined the Louisiana Hayride 1955.

The R.J. Reynolds Company sponsored its final Grand Ole Opry segment 1960.

Sonny James' "Need You" went to #1 in 1967.

Kris Kristofferson's "Me and Bobby McGee," charted 1969.

Cleveland Chenier, age 69, rubboard, died Lafayette, LA 1971.

Joe Stampley's "Roll On Big Mama" topped the charts 1975.

Shelly West's single "Jose Cuervo" topped the charts 1983.

Pete Drake was presented with the Nashville Entertainment Masters Award 1987.

Clint Black's "A Good Run of Bad Luck" topped the charts 1994.

Edward Thomas "Eddie" Rabbitt, age 56, died from cancer 1998. Inducted NSHF 1998.

Robert Woltering, age 76, died in Nashville, TN 2001. Woltering was the former manager of "The Music City News."

BNA Records released Kelly Coffey's album "When You Lie Next To Me" 2002.

June Carter Cash underwent open-heart surgery, at Baptist Hospital in Nashville, in 2003.

Scotty Emerick debuted on the Grand Ole Opry 2004.

Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorrison2002@hotmail.com


 **** Country Music News ****

Redneck Woman Wilson Get Diploma Urged To Do So By Daughter Columbia Records/Nashville artist Gretchen Wilson is no longer part of the statistic that at least one-fifth of all working aged Tennesseans do not have a high school diploma. The Tennessean, in a front-page story today's (5/4), Gretchen talks about how her 7 year old daughter, Grace, prompted her into action to take her GED test. "I don't want to be the dummy that says, 'I don't know how to do that,' " says Wilson, from her home, which sits on 400 acres they call Wilson Mountain. "And I certainly don't want her to think you can be this successful without an education." Gretchen, who dropped out of school in ninth grade, passed her General Educational Development exam in April. She took her test with 21-year-old cousin Matt, who found out on the last day of testing in 12th grade that he didn't have enough credits to graduate. They both will wear caps and gowns when they walk in a May 15 Wilson County graduation ceremony.

Whisperin' Bill Anderson becomes a Georgia fellow

Tuesday, May 6, 2008 – Bill Anderson was named as a charter member of the Grady Fellowship by the Board of Trust at his alma mater, the University of Georgia in Athens.

A graduate of the Grady College of Journalism & Mass Communication, Anderson is being honored as an inaugural member of the newly-formed Fellowship for his dedicated service and career achievements, which have contributed to the national reputation of the university. Named as one of 50 charter members, out of 20,000 alumni, Anderson will be officially inaugurated during gala ceremonies on Nov. 20.
 

Sarah Buxton joins Dierks Bentley on Today

Tuesday, May 6, 2008 – Sarah Buxton will join Dierks Bentley on NBC-TVs Today Show tomorrow, Wednesday May 7. Buxton will sing live with Bentley on the song "Sweet And Wild," one of the two new tracks on the Bentley's new greatest hits CD, which came out today.

Buxton's digital EP "Almost My Record," includes "Innocence," "That Kind Of Day" and "Stupid Boy" along with "American Daughters" and "Love Is A Trip." Buxton co-wrote four of the five tracks on the project.

**** Amy's Kitchen ****  

Beef Enchiladas
(Betty Crocker's 2001 Big Red Cookbook)

1 lb.left over pot roast, shredded (or 1lb. browned ground beef)
1 med. onion, chopped (1/2 cup)
1/2 c. sour cream
1 c. shredded cheddar cheese (4 oz)
2 T. chopped fresh parsley
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/3 c chopped green bell pepper
2/3 c water
1 T. chili powder
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
1/4 tsp. cumin
2 whole green Chiles, chopped (optional), I used canned Chiles
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
8 corn tortillas (5-6 inch in diameter)
Shredded cheese, sour cream and chopped onions to top, if desired

Heat oven 350. In a skillet on low, heat beef, stir in onion, sour cream, 1 c. cheese, parsley and pepper. Cover and remove from heat. In a sauce pan heat bell pepper, water, chili powder, oregano, cumin, chilies, garlic and tomato sauce. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered 5 minutes. Pour into an ungreased pie plate. Dip each tortilla into sauce in pie plate to cover each side. Spoon about 1/4 c beef mixture onto each tortilla, roll tortilla around filling. Place seam side down in an ungreased rectangular baking dish (11x7). Pour remaining sauce over enchiladas. Bake uncovered about 20 minutes or until bubbly. Garnish with shredded cheese, sour cream, and chopped onions.
Serves 4

Calories 670, Diet exchange 2 starch, 4 med.-fat meat, 2 veg.,4 fat



Fudge-Pecan Chewies from Dessert Du Jour
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
2 cups (12 ounces) semisweet chocolate morsels
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
60 pecan halves

Combine first 3 ingredients in a heavy saucepan; cook over medium-low
heat, stirring constantly, until chocolate and butter melt. Remove from
heat. Stir in flour, chopped pecans, and vanilla.
Drop by teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets. Press a pecan half
into the center of each cookie.
Bake at 350F for 7 minutes. (Do not overbake.) Transfer cookies to wire
racks to cool. Yield:  5 dozen

(nutritional info not available)

**** Today's Useless Fact ****

Are shrunken heads for real?

Hunting the Web for shrunken heads, we quickly cut this question down to size. As we learned shrunken heads are indeed real, and the process used to create them is just as grisly as you might imagine.

Taking heads and other physical trophies from battle was common among many world cultures since antiquity, but shrinking the trophy head seems to have only occurred among a few tribes in Ecuador, Peru, and Brazil and probably dates back to around 200 B.C or earlier. In the 19th century, Europeans first discovered and publicized the last remaining tribe that practiced head shrinking. These were the Shuar people of the Jivaro tribe in the tropical forest of the Ecuadorian and Peruvian Amazon.

The shrunken head -- called the tsantsa -- was more than just a souvenir of battle for the Jivaro. The process of shrinking the head was thought to paralyze the spirit of the enemy, thus preventing it from taking revenge. Also, the power and strength of the defeated victim was passed on to the person who killed him. A Jivaro warrior with a history of taking many shrunken heads was to be feared. However, the Jivaro didn't keep the shrunken heads very long. The heads were used in a series of ceremonies and feasts in the Jivaro village to celebrate the victory. After that, the heads were usually discarded and sometimes used by children as toys.
After Europeans discovered the Jivaro, many counterfeit shrunken heads began to pop up. Some were faked from animal heads or goatskin, while others were actual human heads taken from morgues and shrunk by taxidermists. Some of the shrunken heads you'll see currently displayed in museums are early counterfeits, not traditional Jivaro heads.


****A Parting Thought ****

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Last Call Y'ALL
Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally,
I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country:

1. Grab a calculator. (you won't be able to do this one in your head)

2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the area code)

3. Multiply by 80

4. Add 1

5. Multiply by 250

6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number

7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again

8. Subtract 250

9. Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer?

ME NEITHER

GOD willing, See ya all tomorrow
Have a great day

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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