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strictly a DOUBLE opt-in service.THIS IS NOT SPAM If you choose to censore or delete it.The only ones hurt are those waiting on it and the people they could have helped ![]() From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A. Welcome to The Funnies est.7-4-2000 "Friends are God's way of taking care of us." These are clean jokes. However, They are, PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG
Monday May 12,2008
China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos. There are so many Wing's and Wong's in THE DIRECTORY, people were always wingin wong numbers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thorn asks, "I know you're crazy about that little daughter of yours, Martin. What are you going to do when she starts to date?" Martin says, "I figure I'll take the first young man aside, put my arm around his shoulder and pull him close to me so that only he can hear." "Then I'll say, 'Do you see that sweet, little young lady? She's my only daughter and I love her very much. If you were thinking about touching, kissing or being physically affectionate to her in any way, just remember, I don't mind going back to prison.' " ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What's the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What's the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CLINTON, La. - A professional landscaper in Louisiana who suffers from painful heat rash said he was denied a request to wear a short skirt because it's against the law. Jay Herrod's request was turned down after he explained his situation to the Clinton Board of Aldermen at a town meeting Wednesday, WAFB-TV, Baton Rouge, reported. "It's very painful. It's easy for somebody to point their finger at me and judge me, but honestly, if you went through what I went through, you would do it too," Herrod said. Herrod reportedly can often be seen in the summer wearing a small green skirt while mowing lawns around town. He says the short skirt lessens his pain, which is worsened by sweat build-up. Officials said Herrod's short skirt goes against a city law barring anyone from sagging their pants or exposing themselves. The board told Herrod they would reconsider his request when he could provide a doctor's note. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **** ON THIS DAY **** Today's Links:
Baby Animals Slide Show
Jimmy's "Greeting Cards" New section for the little kids
http://jimmyssafeha Earth Calendar http://www.earthcal Sharkbreak http://www.sharkbre Ecovolunteer http://www.ecovolun ZIP Skinny
Game Detonator
Help Walter defuse all the bombs.
The best
things in life AREN'T free Please help, it won't cost ya a thing ****Bill's Country Calendar **** -10- Carl T. Sprague, the "Original Singing Cowboy" born outside Houston, TX 1895. Mother Maybelle Carter born 'Maybelle Addington' Nicklesville, VA 1909. Inducted CMHF 1970. Bob Wills topped the charts with "New Spanish Two Step" 1946. Hank Thompson's "The Wild Side of Life" went to No. 1 in 1952. Harlan and Jan Howard married in Las Vegas, 1957. Johnny Cash gave his first performance at Carnegie Hall in 1962. Charlie Pride recorded his first hit "Just Between You and Me," 1966. Dave Dudley sat atop the charts with "The Pool Shark" 1970. Emmylou Harris' "Beneath Still Waters," went to #1 in 1980. Dwight Yoakam's album "Guitars, Cadillacs, Etc." certified platinum 1989. Garth Brooks, John Anderson, and Ralph Emery appeared together at the Crazy Horse Saloon, in Santa Ana, CA in 1993. Shelby "Shel" Silverstein, age 68, died in Key West, FL 1999. Inducted NSHF 2002. Andrea Zonn debuted on the Grand Ole Opry, in 2003. Vince Gill was her back-up singer. Gordon Lightfoot appeared at Toronto's Massey Hall in 2004, after a two-year absence from performing due to illness. -11- Chick Hurt, "The Prarie Ramblers," born Willowshade, KY 1901. Ocie Stockard, Western Swing/multi-instrumentalist, born Crafton, TX 1909. Bob Atcher, singing cowboy, WLS National Barn Dance, born Hardin County, KY 1914. Mark Herndon "Alabama's drummer," born Springfield, MA 1955. Elvis bought his first home at 1034 Audubon Drive, in Memphis, TN 1956. Elvis paid $40,000.00 in cash for the home, which he shared with Gladys and Vernon. The Everly Brothers debuted on the Grand Ole Opry in 1957. Buddy Holly & the Crickets audition for Arthur Godfrey's "Talent Scouts" TV program, they were rejected, 1957. Buck Owens' "Second Fiddle," became his first chart song in 1959. Bill Anderson's #1 single "Still" debuted on Billboards Top 40 Chart 1963. Marty Robbins recorded "A Man And A Train" 1973. Glenn Sherley died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in Gonzales, CA 1978. John Ashby, age 63, of the Free State Ramblers, died 1979. Lester Raymond Flatt, age 64, died in Nashville in 1979. Inducted CMHF 1985. IBMAHH 1991. Ritchie Valens receives a posthumous star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, 1990 Willie Nelson's album "Honeysuckle Rose" certified multi-platinum 1992. Steve Wariner joined the Grand Ole Opry 1996. Walter Hyatt, age 47, founder of Uncle Walt's Band, killed in the crash of ValuJet flight 592 into the Everglades swamp in Florida 1996. Trace Adkins married wife Rhonda at Nashville's Belle Meade Mansion in 1997. Eddy Arnold announced his retirement in 1999. Minnie Snow, age 89, widow of Hank Snow, died in Nashville, on Mothers Day 2003. Born to Jamie O'Neal and husband Rodney Good, a beautiful daughter "Aliyah," in 2003. Glenn Campbell, age 68, pled guilty to 'Extreme Drunken Driving,' and 'Leaving The Scene of an Accident,' in 2004. Charges of Aggravated Assault on a Police Officer were dropped in the plea agreement. The Rhinestone Cowboy will serve ten days in jail, and serve 75 hours of community service. -12- The Duke of Paducah born "Benjamin Francis Ford," in Desoto, MO 1901. Joined the Grand Ole Opry 1942. Elected CMHF 1986. Tiny Moore, electric mandolin, born Hamilton County, TX 1920. Joe Maphis, of "Joe & Rose Lee Maphis," born Suffolk, VA 1921. Bill Woods a.k.a. the "Father of the Bakersfield Sound" born Denison, TX 1924. Bob Montgomery, songwriter/producer, born Lampasas, TX 1937. Early in his career Bob teamed with Buddy Holly as "Buddy & Bob." Billy Swan born Cape Girardeau, MO 1942. Eddy Arnold's "Anytime" topped the charts in 1948. Leon Eric "Kix" Brooks III, born Shreveport, LA 1955. Kix moved to Nashville in 1979. The Frank Sinatra Timex TV special, stars Elvis Presley 1960. Billy Walker's "Charlie's Shoes" was #1 in 1962. Buck Owen's "My Heart Skips A Beat" topped the charts 1964. Bobby Bare won a Grammy Award for "Detroit City," 1964. Edward James Kilgallon, "Ricochet," born East Greenbush, NY 1965. W. Lee "Pappy" O'Daniel, age 59, founder of the "Light Crust Doughboys" died 1969. Jerry Lee Lewis was granted a divorce from cousin Myra, 1971. Emmylou Harris' "Beneath Still Waters" was #1 in 1980. Travis Tritt's first #1 single, "Help Me Hold On" became reality in 1990. George Jones pled guilty in Franklin, Tennessee to Driving While Impaired, and having an open container of liquor in his vehicle in 1999. The charges were the result of his near fatal traffic accident on March 6th, when he drove off a bridge. George was fined $550.00 and allowed to keep his drivers license. Darryl Worley and Beverly Dean Irvin were married in Darryl's hometown of Savannah, TN in 2001. Johnny Wright of "Johnny & Jack" honored on the eve of his 90th birthday in 2004. Family and friends gathered at the Texas Troubadour Theater in Nashville for the celebration. Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorrison2002@hotmail.com **** Country Music News **** Gospel singer Dottie Rambo killed in bus accident Sunday, May 11, 2008 – Gospel giant Dottie Rambo, 74, whose songs were recorded by Dolly Parton, Porter Wagoner, Mel Tillis, Vince Gill and Alison Krauss, was killed Sunday in a tour bus accident in Missouri while en route to a concert in Texas. The bus Rambo traveled on struck a guard rail and hit an embankment. Rambo was dead at the scene. It was unclear if weather conditions contributed to the accident. The
Madisonville, Ky. native was born March 2, 1934 and listened to country music as
a youth. She learned to play guitar while listening to the Grand Ole Opry on WSM
radio. By the time she was 10, she played country music songs on a local radio
station. As a youth, she went on the road playing gospel music. She later was
signed to a publishing deal for $3,000 by Louisiana Gov. Jimmie Davis, who also
was a country and gospel singer.
Rambo gained
fame as a gospel singer, but she also was a writer. Among the country acts
cutting her songs were
Elvis Presley ("If That Isn't Love"),
Barbara Mandrell ("I Will Glory In The Cross"), The Whites ("He Hasn't Lost His Touch", "I Don't Have The Heart", "Brand New Breed Of Believers"), The Oak Ridge Boys ("Sailing Toward Home", "He Looked Beyond My Fault And Saw My Needs", "Mama's Teaching Angels How To Sing" among others), Dolly Parton ("Stand By The River"), Dottie West ("Tiny"), Porter Wagoner ("Sheltered In The Arms Of God"), Mel Tillis ("Remind Me Dear Lord"), Hank Snow ("Just One Of A Kind"), Bill Monroe ("It's Me Again Lord"), Rhonda Vincent ("Sheltered In The Arms Of God", "Just One Of A Kind"), Jerry Lee Lewis ("He Looked Beyond My Fault and Saw My Needs", "Too Much To Gain To Loose"), Vince Gill with Tim Surrette ("Tears Will Never Stain The Streets Of That City"), Crystal Gayle ("Tiny"), Larry Gatlin ("Sheltered In The Arms Of God", "Too Much To Gain To Loose"), Wanda Jackson ("I've Never Been This Homesick Before", "It's Hard To Sing The Blues", "I Will Glory In The Cross", among others), Jim and Jesse ("Just One Of A Kind"), Connie Smith ("In The Valley He Restoreth My Soul", "Don't Let Me Walk To Far From Calvary", among others), Charlie Louvin ("When Is He Coming Again"), Alison Krauss and The Cox Family ("Remind Me Dear Lord"), The Isaacs ("He Ain't Never Done Me Nothing But Good"), Jeannie C. Riley ("Love Letters" among others) and Jean Shepard ("Too Much To Gain To Loose"). Carrie Underwood joins the Grand Ole Opry Sunday, May 11, 2008 – Carrie Underwood became the newest member of the Grand Ole Opry Saturday night, inducted by fellow Oklahoman, Opry member Garth Brooks, before a sold-out Opry House audience. Presenting Underwood with the Opry Member Award, Brooks said, "Nothing will last as long or be more important than this award right here tonight. Congratulations." Giving the award a
kiss, Underwood beamed, "This is going to have a very special place in my awards
case." Her voice breaking, she continued, "I want to thank everybody at the Opry
for having me as part of your family because it is such a great family to be a
part of...it really means everything to me. I am so
blessed."
Underwood made her Grand Ole Opry debut on June 10, 2005, 2 weeks
after winning American Idol. Her love for the Opry started as a child as she
grew up watching and listening to the show, dreaming of one day performing there
and even becoming a member herself.
Move over Nashville Star, here comes Next GAC Star Friday, May 9, 2008 – Nashville Star has competition thanks to Great American Country (GAC) in the form of The Next GAC Star, a nationwide talent search for the next country music star, in a partnership with artist development company Music Nation. Six finalists will be flown to Nashville to be featured in a final 2-part television special on Sept. 3 and 10, with a live elimination in the second show. The winning artist will receive a record deal and a music video, which will air on GAC. Through July 14th, GAC will accept video, mp3s, and photos from
hopeful country music enthusiasts looking for their shot at becoming a recording
artist at www.gactv.com/star. In
addition to submitting videos online, some applicants will be able to tape
audition videos in-person by visiting the GAC Summer Tour Bus, which hit the
road May 1 and will travel throughout the
summer.
"There are two phenomenon currently at play in the music industry:
the rise of consumer-generated music content on the Internet and the success of
artists participating in national talent competitions. Thanks to our
relationship with Music Nation, we've incorporated both aspects into one show
with The Next GAC Star," says Sarah Trahern, senior vice president of
programming for the network. "Viewers can upload their favorite performances
online with the hopes of seeing themselves on the network and possibly winning
it all."
Voting begins May 23rd and will run in 3 phases. For the first
eight weeks, the public will vote on submissions using Music Nation's
head-to-head player, which randomly pits two artists against each other and asks
the user to choose a favorite. During this period, there will be two weekly
winners: the highest ranked artist from the head-to-head standings and an
"Industry Insiders" Pick, an artist collectively chosen by GAC and Music Nation
staffers. Select video submissions will also air in the new series, Next GAC
Star, which premieres on June 1 and will broadcast every
Sunday.
During the second phase, the 16 weekly winners will be narrowed
down to a field of 6 by Next GAC Star's panel of celebrity judges, to be
announced in June. Finally, these six finalists will move on to be featured on
the two TV specials, where the Next GAC Star will ultimately be
determined.
"In the past, we've launched a number of successful talent
searches for the rock, pop, and urban genres, and this new partnership with GAC
allows us to extend our brand into the devoted country music fan base," says
Daniel Klaus, Music Nation CEO. "This competition allows undiscovered artists a
real shot at the career they dream of, in addition to having their music played
on GAC."
Interested artists and viewers can get more information on Next
GAC Star by visiting www.gactv.com/star.
**** Amy's Kitchen **** Diabetic Delight...
Teriyaki Steak Sandwiches
1 Tbs. olive oil 1-1/2 lbs. flank steak, cut across the grain into 1/8 inch strips 1 clove garlic, minced 1 Tbs. fresh ginger, minced 1/4 lb. mushrooms, sliced 1 small onion, thinly sliced 3 Tbs. cornstarch 1-1/2 cups beef stock 1/4 cup teriyaki sauce 4 slices French bread, 1/2 inch thick, toasted Heat oil in a heavy nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Saute steak strips, garlic and ginger about 5 mins stirring frequently, until steak is no longer pink. Transfer steak to a platter and set aside. Add mushrooms and onions to same skillet and saute 3-4 mins, stirring frequently, until tender. Combine cornstarch and stock in a jar with a tight-fitting lid. Shake vigorously. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Add teriyaki sauce and shake again. Stir teriyaki mixture into mushrooms in skillet and simmer about 3 mins stirring frequently, until sauce begins to thicken. Return steak to skillet. Cook 1-2 mins or until steak is heated through. Serve steak over toasted bread. Per serving: cals 428, fat 17.5g, 37% cals from fat, chol 86mg, protein 40.0g, carbs 26.2g, fiber 1.8g, sugar 3.9g, sod 1244mg, diet points 10.2. Dietary Exchanges: Milk: 0.0, Vegetable: 0.8, Fruit: 0.0, Bread: 1.2, Lean meat:0.0, Fat: 2.7, Sugar: 0.2, Very lean meat protein: 5.1 Burrito Pie.. 2 pounds ground beef 1 onion, chopped 2 teaspoons minced garlic 1 (2 oz) can black olives, sliced 1 (4 oz) can diced green chili peppers 1 (10 oz) can diced tomatoes with green chile peppers 1 (16 oz) jar taco sauce 2 (16 oz) cans refried beans 12 (8 inch) flour tortillas 9 ounces shredded Colby cheese Oven 350?F Serves 16 Preheat oven. In a large skillet over medium heat, saute the ground beef for 5 minutes. Add the onion and garlic, and saute for 5 more minutes. Drain any excess fat, if desired. Mix in the olives, green chile peppers, tomatoes with green chile peppers, taco sauce and refried beans. Stir mixture thoroughly, reduce heat to low, and let simmer for 15 to 20 minutes. Spread a thin layer of the meat mixture in the bottom of a 4 quart casserole dish. Cover with a layer of tortillas followed by more meat mixture, then a layer of cheese. Repeat tortilla, meat, cheese pattern until all the tortillas are used, topping off with a layer of meat mixture and cheese. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes in the preheated oven, or until cheese is slightly brown and bubbly. Nutrition Info Per Serving Calories: 431 kcal|Carbohydrates: 33 g|Dietary Fiber: 4 g |Fat: 23 g|Protein: 19 g|Sugars: 2
g
**** Today's Useless Fact ****
"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones
to public office." Disclaimer : All of my materials are Borrowed from various areas on the web and from my readers. All are
believed to be public domain . If you hold copyright
on any of these materials please inform me so I may give the proper credit, or remove it which
ever you prefer. ~ GOD BLESS AMERICA ~ To subscribe, Click on a link below http://lists.topica.com/lists/Thedailyfunnies ~ To unsubscribe from this opt-in mailing list click on link at the end of this mailing ~ Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or comments at: jim4615@verizon.net Jim Dowers P.O. Box 521 Carlisle, IN 47838-0521 &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& Unsubscribe link is at the END of this list God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand &&&&&&&&&& THIS DOCUMENT IS VIRUS FREE Scanned by Avast virus protection and AVG EDITION 7.5 ~ Thedailyfunnies-unsubscribe@topica.com |
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