I always know God won't give me more than I can handle,
but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

Charlie Daniels
Today's country music video 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMiMHOpiwqw&feature=related 
 

Wednesday May 21,2008


Thought For Today: Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old
ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden
Oldies!)

Shortly after we moved to a small farm, we decided we'd buy a milk cow. In
response to a newspaper ad, I drove to the dairy farm of a Dutch immigrant.
I selected a cow, and the farmer and I agreed on a price, but he wouldn't
take a personal check.
As my dad, who had accompanied me, and I turned to leave, he asked the
farmer where in Holland he was from. He named a region, and Dad said he
had been through it during World War II. The farmer looked at Dad and
asked, "You were an American soldier?" Dad nodded. Choking back
emotion, the man said, "When we were starving, the American soldiers
saved us."
Not only was my check good but the farmer insisted, "This cow has a calf;
you take it, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First woman : "My husband bought me hundreds of flowers for May Day."
Friend : "Hundreds of flowers! What kind are they?"
First woman : "I don't know -- the seeds haven't started to sprout."-Smart guy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 I sold an item  through eBay but it got lost in the mail.
So I stopped by my local post office and asked them
to track it down. "It's not that simple," the clerk scolded.
"You have to fill out a mail-loss form before we can initiate
a search."
"Okay," I said. "I'll take one."
He rummaged under his counter, then went to ask some
other clerks, who did the same -- only to return and confess,
"You'll have to come back later. We can't find the forms."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally this has been cleared up...............

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads. Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian Embassy in Washington , D.C. has recently revealed the true story.

When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States. If nothing is there, he must take a job in India answering telephones giving us technical advice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everybody's a comedian. I called my local home improvement  
store for a simple piece of advice. "I know the Sheetrock  
is nailed to the studs," I said to the guy who answered the  
phone, "but how do I find the studs?"  
"Put an ad in the personals column." he suggested. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our surname, Stead, rhymes with bed, but people often say "Steed," like
the horse. One day, a business associate of mine came over to the house
and was greeted by my mother. "Is Mr. Steed in?" the woman asked.
"He's Stead," my mother snapped.
"Oh, no!" the woman gasped. "I was talking with him only yesterday." 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 "What really concerns me about these new "smart" appliances  
is that even if we like the features, we won't be able to  
use them. I don't know how to operate my TV, which requires  
THREE remote controls. One control (44 buttons) came with  
the TV; a second (39 buttons) came with the VCR; the third  
(37 buttons) was brought here by the cable-TV man, who ap-  
parently felt that I did not have enough buttons. So when  
I want to watch TV, I'm confronted with a total of 120  
buttons, identified by such helpful labels as PIP, MTS,  
DBS, F2, JUMP and BLANK." -Dave Barry 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful, elderly poodle named Cuddles along for company.

One day Cuddles starts chasing butterflies, and before long, discovers he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!', says the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!'

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle

sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says...

'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with old farts... age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BullsS**t and brilliance only come with age and experience
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My sister, who did not have a driver’s license, was a passenger- seat
driver and would always “brake” in tandem with me. One afternoon while
we were out driving, I slammed on the brakes in the middle of the road,
when there were no other cars to be seen. I immediately turned to my
sister and demanded, “Why did you do that?” She replied that she was
merely stretching her leg. “Don’t do that again!” I fumed. “I thought you’d
seen something I missed!” 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, some guys were doing a "boxers or briefs" survey. They went to
a 25 year old man and asked, "Boxers or briefs?” He said briefs. They went
to a 40 year old man and asked, "Boxers or briefs?” He said boxers. Then
they went up to a 80 year old man and asked, "Boxers or briefs?” And the
old man replied, "Depends?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just like a woman
Although I had kept up my driver's licence, I hadn't been behind the wheel
of a car in more than 20 years. My daughter, who was visiting from Georgia
for a week, decided it was time I learned to drive again. We went out every
day, each time driving a little farther. We were both pleased with my progress.
After a week I was thrilled to drive to town, park and return home. But at the
end of the last lesson, as I entered our garage, my foot slipped. Instead of
stepping on the brake, I accelerated my way right through the garage wall.
The car came to rest through a gaping new entrance, halfway into the den.
The entire room...contents and all...was destroyed. My daughter immediately
reported the incident to our insurance company. "I'd like to report a break
and entry...." she began. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During a field exercise at , my squad was on a night patrol through
some thick brush. Halfway through, we realized we'd lost our map.
The patrol navigator informed us, "Our odds are 1 in 360 that we'll
get out of here."
"How did you come up with that?" someone asked.
"Well," he replied, "one of the degrees on the compass has to be right. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
Today's Links:

 Video Kids, Kids, Kids!

http://funzu.com/index.php/crazy-video/kids-kids-kids-always-funny.html

 

NEXT DECADE MAY BE COOLER, NOT WARMER
http://abcmail.net.au/t/140810/813752/3043/0/

Check On Your Rebate
https://sa2.www4.irs.gov/irfof/IRServlet?app=IRACTC

 

Fancast  Watch Online Videos, TV, Movies

http://www.fancast.com/home

 

Nostalgia Index

http://www.stinalisa.com/Nostalgia.html

 

Radio-Locator

http://www.radio-locator.com/

 

Sometimes we just want to bug each other for no reason, so for no
reason, I am sending this to bug all of my friends.
http://beverlys.net/LJ/BuggingYou.swf 

 

Game Bongo Balls

Mouse = aim and shoot.

I keep falling off my bike, but I just get right back on it and ride. I'm a firm believer in re-cycling.

Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/ 

The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism. 
 http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
 Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim

****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****
Thanks Bill

-21-

North Carolina's Charlie Poole, age 39, died 1931.

Jack Cash, age 14, older brother of Johnny, was buried in Bassett, AR, after dying as the result of a power saw accident in 1944.

Ernest Tubb recorded "Too Late To Worry, Too Blue To Cry" 1945.

Eddy Arnold's "The Echo of Your Footsteps" charted 1949.

Marty Robbins topped the charts with "A White Sport Coat" 1957.

Capitol Records released Buck Owens' single "Save The Last Dance For Me/King Of Fools" 1962.

Del Reeves' "Girl On The Billboard" was #1 in 1965.

Tanya Tucker's "What's Your Mama's Name" was #1 in 1973.

T. G. Sheppard topped the charts with "I Loved 'Em Every One" 1981.

Kathy Mattea's "Eighteen Wheels and A Dozen Roses," went to #1 in 1988, and became

the CMA's Single of the Year.

Trisha Yearwood, and the Mavericks Robert Reynolds, married on stage, at the Ryman Auditorium 1994.

Razor & Tie released "The Little Jimmy Dickens Collection" 1996.

Willie Nelson made a guest appearance on the Simpson's TV show in 2000.

During the live broadcast of the ACM Awards in 2002, Alabama announced they would retire from working the road, after their upcoming farewell tour.

Bear Family released Lester Flatt "Live at Vanderbilt" 2002.

Toby Keith left the ACM Awards Show before it was announced that he had won Entertainer of the Year 2003. Toby told the press that he and Willie Nelson went to the bus to write songs, that's his story, and he's stickin' to it.

The WB Network announced that Reba McEntire's sitcom "Reba" will be returning for it's fourth season 2004

Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorrison2002@hotmail.com

 **** Country Music News ****
Crystal Gayle Headlines The 2008 Red Skelton Gala
Benefiting Red Skelton Museum At Vincennes Univeristy

Platinum selling singer and world class entertainer Crystal Gayle will perform at the Red Skelton Gala on Saturday, June 14, 2008 at the Red Skelton Performing Arts Center in Red's hometown of Vincennes, Indiana.

Crystal, who is known for her signature hit Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue, will be accompanied by her full touring band and will provide an evening of timeless music and entertainment to benefit the completion of the Red Skelton Museum and Education Center. Once completed, the Red Skelton Museum and Education Center will strive to bring much needed revenue to Knox County, Indiana.

Crystal, a former "Hoosier," as was Red, can't think of a better way to return to her home state.

"I always enjoy coming back home again to Indiana," says Crystal. "I grew up in Wabash loving Red Skelton and watching him perform on TV and in movies. It will be especially great to sing in the Red Skelton Performing Arts Center, and to work with the community of Vincennes to support the memory of this favorite son by creating the Red Skelton Museum."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1st Porter Wagoner Memorial Fishing Tournament Set
June 3rd At Percy Priest Lake Near Nashville

The first Porter Wagoner Memorial Artists & Anglers Fishing Tournament is set for Tuesday, June 3rd on Percvy Priest Lake, near Nashville.

A host of COUNTRY stars will participate, including Vince Gill, Luke Bryan, Tracy Byrd, Lorrie Morgan, Andy Griggs, Wade Hayes, Emerson Drive's Brad Mates & Dale Wallace, Heidi Newfield and Trent Willmon. Porter's daughter, Denise Wagoner will be fishing, too.

The event is sponsored by Bass Pro Shops, Gary Yamanoto Custom Baits and Costa Del Mar Sunglasses and fishing Pro's Bill Dance, Roland Martin, Jimmy Houston, Gary Yamamoto and 2009 Bassmaster Classic Women's Champion Judy Wong will team up with the artists.

The money raised throughout the day will be donated in Porter's name to the Opry Trust Fund. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shania-Mutt Split Because Of Another Woman?
People Magazine Says "Yes"

People Magazine says details of Shania's split from husband/producer Mutt Lange is the result of his relationship with another woman.

The article says that Lange, reached by the magazine after the separation was announced in a statement, said the split "an unfortunate thing." He added, "It's literally just a growing apart, that's all."

People says that sources close to the situation say a third party was involved: Marie-Anne Thi?baud, a longtime secretary and manager of the couple’s chateau in Switzerland.

"Mutt and Marie-Anne left their spouses for each other and are still in a relationship," says one source.

Lange denies the claims. "It's absolutely not the reason [for the separation]," the famously reclusive producer told People when asked about the alleged affair. He also denied that he was in a romantic relationship with Thi?baud: "I'm not, no," he said. "It's not true." (Thi?baud could not be reached for comment.)

Twain, 42, and Lange, 59, married in 1993. They have a 6-year-old son, Eja (pronounced "Asia") D'Angelo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Carrie Underwood Does Last Name For Idol Season Finale
Fresh From Her ACM Win

The Grand Ole Opry's newest member, Carrie Underwood, will return to the American Idol stage to perform tomorrow night (5/21))for the season 7 finale show.

Carrie is fresh off her second consecutive win as Top Female Vocalist at the ACM Awards. She'll perform her current co-written smash hit Last Name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Napster Drops DRM From All Downloads
Higher Quaity--Same 99-cents Price

Billboard Bizz is reporting that Napster has stripped DRM from all paid downloads on its digital music service in favor of unprotected MP3s.

Reporter Antony Bruno says that "as of today (5/20) all six million songs in the Napster catalog are now available to purchase without DRM protection. The company first announced plans to make the switch in January."

The report says that the new MP3 files will be of higher quality than the DRM version (256 kbps compared to 192 kbps)and they will still cost only 99 cents.

And unlike other digital retailers also making the switch over to DRM-free files--such as Wal-Mart--Napster has the support of all four major labels as well as all its existing indie label and aggregator deals.

Click here to read the entire story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Miss The ACM's Sunday NIght?
GAC Will Bring 'Em Back In June

If you missed Sunday night's ACM Awards Show from Las Vegas, don't dispair. GAC will re-air the entire show Wednesday, June 4th and Thursday, June 5th.

Log onto GAC's Website for exact showtimes.

**** Amy's Kitchen ****  

Light Lemon Pie

A drizzle of spreadable fruit lends a decorative and tasty touch to this appealing dessert from Ruby Fleeman of Santa Ana, Texas. One slice of the creamy and refreshing pie just won't be enough! "I's great for diabetics," Ruby says, "but even the rest of my family enjoys it."

SERVINGS 8
CATEGORY
Dessert
METHOD Chill
PREP 20 min.
TOTAL 20 min.

INGREDIENTS
a.. 1 package (.3 ounces) sugar-free lemon gelatin

b.. 1/2 cup boiling water

c.. 3/4 cup cold water

d.. Splenda equivalent to 3 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon sugar

e.. 1 cup (8 ounces) 1% cottage cheese

f.. 1 carton (8 ounces) frozen reduced-fat Cool Whip® whipped topping, thawed

g.. 1 reduced-fat graham cracker crust (8 inches)

h.. 1/2 cup 100% strawberry spreadable fruit

i.. 8 large strawberries, halved

DIRECTIONS
In a large bowl, dissolve gelatin in boiling water. Stir in cold water and sugar substitute. Refrigerate until partially set.
In a fine strainer, drain the cottage cheese. Place cottage cheese in a blender; cover and process until smooth. Transfer to a bowl; stir in gelatin mixture. Fold in whipped topping.
Pour into crust. Refrigerate until set. Just before serving, cut into slices; garnish each with 1 tablespoon spreadable fruit and two strawberry halves. Yield: 8 servings.


**** Today's Useless Fact ****

Are film cameras going to be obsolete soon?

No. I don't believe film cameras will ever be totally obsolete. The same as painting canvas will never be obsolete. Film in and of itself is an artistic tool to be mastered. The same way an artist strokes and brushes his oils on canvas, so the same must the photographer use his vision to apply the proper filters, F stops, and exposure times. Film is an art form, I don't see it vanishing anytime soon, but it will become a more expensive medium of expression. No digital camera can capture the emotion, vision and work of a true and artistic film photographer. The textures are clearly more different, film just seems more organic than digital. Most people would rather listen to a groovy old vinyl record than a CD, the same goes for most folks who appreciate the grainy look of film compared to the overpowering clarity of a mega or giga pixel camera.

Also, Hollywood will more than likely always use film, not just for nostalgic reasons, but artistic ones as well, that digital may not be able to be able to portray at the moment, but its only a matter of time, that I am sure of.

Digital is more for those who just want to point and click and forget about it. I don't think we will see any work come from the digital age anytime soon that has impacted us as well as the photographic genius of Ansel Adams work has. But I could be wrong. Check out the links in our Cameras category for more.


****A Parting Thought ****

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child.

Last Call Y'ALL
See ya Later

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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