I always know God won't give me more than I can handle,
but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.

God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

Today's country music video for: 
Friday May 30,2008

The midnight jamboree
watch live
on
http://www.ernesttubb.com/
Sunday morning following t he opry
This week's guest
Dailey & Vincent

Thought For Today:
"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest
profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close
resemblance to the first." - Ronald Regan

 The dental hygienist was giving her pep talk about frequent
brushing and flossing, the latter being something I have some
difficulty doing consistently.
I couldn't resist saying, "An old dog can't learn new tricks."
"He can if he wants to keep his teeth," she quickly replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My teenage son was in such a hurry to try out his new surfboard
that, oblivious of the warning flags, he dashed straight out into
the waves. Immediately, an authoritative voice boomed, "You
are an inexperienced surfer. Return to shore."
Embarrassed, he came ashore but not without asking the
lifeguard how he knew he was a novice. "Easy. You've got
your wet suit on backwards."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Sarah, a sweet nineteen-year-old girl who temporarily lived
with our family, applied for a job at the local bank she was called
back for a personal interview.
"How did the interview go?" I asked when she returned home.
"It went alright at first," she said.
"At first?"
"Yeah, until the manager asked me if I was hired what would I bring
with me to the job everyday?"
"Oh, there's lots of answers—like a good attitude for starters.
Did you tell him you always have a good attitude?"
"No," Sarah confessed with a groan. "I told him I'd bring my purse."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This country is so full of opportunity. Where else can a woman hire
another woman to do her housework, so that she can volunteer at the
Day Care Center where the cleaning woman leaves her child?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young woman was suffering badly from hay fever. She was going to
a fancy dinner party that night and figured she would need at least two
handkerchiefs to get her through the evening. She didn't have any pockets,
so she stuffed them both in her bra.
Halfway through the night, she had already used up one handkerchief
and was rummaging around in her bra for the other one. She was having
trouble finding it, and soon she noticed that everyone at the table was
looking at her.
"What on earth are you doing?" asked one of her colleagues.
She replied, "I could have sworn I had two when I arrived".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```
Our friend Ernie was hospitalized with severe gall bladder pain.
Being admitted at a particularly hectic time, the staff inadvertently
forgot to place the nurse call button beside him.
When the pain became excruciating—too overwhelming to get up
and look for the button—our friend used Yankee ingenuity. Ernie
picked up the phone, dialed the hospital's main number, and
asked for the nurses's station on his floor. Explaining his
situation and giving them his room number, help came
immediately. For the rest of his hospital stay, Ernie received
first-class service.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a two-week vacation, a man returned to his office and one of his fellow workers asked him what kind of time he'd had. "I spent the whole two weeks helping my wife paint the rooms in our house," he groaned. "Does she do that often?" "Well," he replied, "when we moved in a few years ago, the guest room was nine by twelve. Now it's eight by eleven!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our friend, who had just turned 60, was doing some spring planting with the help of his 91 year-old father. When the older man began to put up beanpoles in straight lines, the son suggested that stacking them tepee- style was better. A disagreement arose. "Dad," our friend finally said, sighing, "this is my garden, and I want to use the tepees." The father threw down his hoe and stomped off towards the house. "You kids!" he snorted over his shoulder. "Turn sixty and think that you know everything!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.

"Great," Little Johnny replied.

"Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother.

"Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For decades, anyone living within five or six miles of the hat factory
in Denver, Pennsylvania, set their clocks and watches by the sirens
the factory set off five days a week. At 5:30 a.m., the wake-up siren
would begin the day followed by the starting, lunchtime, and quitting
sirens at the designated times.
When the siren system was eventually disbanded, a friend of mine
was reminiscing with the timekeeper about his job. "What did you
use to determine the exact time?"
With a twinkle in his eye, the man reached in his pocket and pulled
out a child's Mickey Mouse watch. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's mine....this time it's mine!!!
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny509.html
<a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny509.html">Here</a>

Hard To Understand
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/032.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200407/032.htm"> Here </a>

Old age is when you still have something on the ball,
but you are just too tired to bounce it.

Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/ 

The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism. 
 http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
 Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim


My friend's husband works for a major fast food chain. I was talking to
her 4 yr old son Dylan.He commented on how much he had grown. Dylan
smiled and replied, " I've been super sized!"

****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****
Thanks Bill

**** Today's Useless Fact ****

What is the most frequently visited tourist attraction in the U.S.?

This question proved trickier to answer than we first thought. But our search eventually lead us to the American Society of Travel Agents (ASTA) web site, listed in the LUKOL directory. ASTA's spring 2003 Hot Spots Survey shows that Orlando, Florida, is the number one U.S. travel destination.
We found the Orlando/Orange County Convention and Visitors Bureau site, which offers extensive reports on the area's tourism industry.

According to the Bureau's Domestic Leisure Visitor Profile, "visiting a theme/amusement park was the most popular activity" for U.S. travelers to Orlando. Also on this site, a report from the Amusement Business Magazine and the Orlando Business Journal put Disney World's Magic Kingdom at the top of the attraction attendance list with an estimated 15.4 million visitors in 2003. Disney World's Epcot Center, the Disney-MGM Studios, and Disney's Animal Kingdom fill the next spots on the attendance list.

While none of these sites came right out and said it, judging from this data, we think it's pretty safe to say that the home of Mickey Mouse and friends gets the most visitors of any U.S. tourist attraction.




****A Parting Thought ****
Women have much more imagination than men.
They need it to tell us how wonderful we are.

Last Call Y'ALL
See y'all  Monday

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
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