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Subject: The Funnies - September12, 2008



 

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From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to T
he Funnies
est.7-4-2000    

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

These  are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for  younger readers - PG


I always know God won't give me more than I can handle,
but there are times I wish He didn't trust me quite so much.


God, grant me the Senility to forget the people
I never liked ,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.

Toby Keith - As GoToby Keith - As Good As I Once Was
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9f-lXqUZ18&NR=1

Today's country music video for: 
Friday
 September 12,2008

The midnight jamboree
watch live
on
http://www.ernesttubb.com/



Sunday morning following t he opry
This week's guest
SEPTEMBER 13 - RICKY LYNN GREGG

SEPTEMBER 20 - ROCKIE LYNNE

SEPTEMBER 27 - MARTY STUART

OCTOBER 4 - DAILEY & VINCENT

OCTOBER 25 - JAN HOWARD & LEONA WILLIAMS
Veterans Salute



Thought For Today: My kinda woman

You didn't know this purse was combat gear?
And she's a blonde


Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Bisquit the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had - an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 After participating in a nutritional-health class, my 16-year-old
daughter, Sarah, encouraged her sisters to try whole-grain breads
and whole - wheat pasta, and complained if we were having
anything that looked too processed. At dinnertime one evening,
she entered the kitchen, spied the food on the plates and boldly
asked: "Are those whole - wheat potatoes?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Tired of having to balance his wife Abby’s checkbook, Harry made a deal
with her; he would only look at it after she had spent a few hours trying
to wrestle it into shape. Only then would he lend his expertise. The following
night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Abby said proudly,
“There! I’ve done it! I made it balance!”
Impressed, Harry came over to take a look. “Let’s see...mortgage-$950.00,
electricity-$72.35, phone-$35.16.” His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry.
“It says here ESP, $471.88. What the heck is that?”
“Oh,” she said, “That means, Error Some Place.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a studio usher knocked on the door of Ethel Barrymore's Hollywood dressing room and announced that there were a couple of girls hanging about outside who said they went to school with her, and inquired as to what he should do. Barrymore's reply came quickly: "Wheel them in."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A banker calls in an oilman to review his loans. "We loaned you a million to revive your old wells, and they went dry." says the banker.

"Coulda been worse."

"Then we loaned you a million to drill new wells, and they were dry."

"Coulda been worse."

"Then we loaned you another million for new drilling equipment, and it broke down."

"Coulda been worse."

"I'm getting tired of hearing that!" snaps the banker. "How could it have been worse?"

"Coulda been my money," says the oilman.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Erma Bombeck
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Middle age is when women stop worrying about being pregnant,
and men start worrying they look like they are.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heavy snow had buried my van in our driveway. My husband, Scott, dug around the wheels, rocked the van back and forth and finally pushed me free. I was on the road when I heard an odd noise. I got on my cell and called home. "Thank God you answered," I said when Scott picked up.

"There's this alarming sound coming under the van. For a moment I thought I was dragging you down the highway."

"And you didn't stop?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One evening I was driving my six-year-son to soccer practice. As we were going through a playground zone beside the field, an obviously impatient woman sped by us on the right. "Mommy, that woman stuck her middle finger up at us!" Nolan exclaimed. I explained that it was not a polite thing to do, and that perhaps she was having a very bad day. "Don't worry, Mom," he reassured me, "I stuck mine right back up at her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A FAST GRANNY: Marta Suarez was once an international track star, and she still has what it takes at the ripe old age of 85. She proved it when a 29-year-old thief tried to snatch her purse and she took chase in the Little Havana neighborhood of Miami, Florida. "She was sprinting," says policeman Wilredo Perez. The thief was so busy looking back at Suarez, who was hot on his heels, that he didn't see Perez until he ran right into him. He nabbed the man and hauled him to the police station. Suarez was a medal-holder in Cuba in 1938.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She said, "I have praise. Two months ago, my husband Jim had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced. She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children, and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim. She continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say. A man rose and walked to the podium. He said, "I'm Jim and I want to tell my wife, the word is 'sternum'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On my way to work one stormy morning, I slipped and fell on the wet sidewalk.
By the end of the day, I was quite stiff and sore, and when I arrived home in
the evening, I expected to receive a little sympathy from my family. My two
younger children were quick to express their concern, and even my teenage
daughter appeared distressed about my mishap. I soon understood the real
reason behind her anxious expression, however, when she exclaimed: "Oh,
Mom! I hope my friends didn't see you lying on the sidewalk!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Be gracious to your friends: if it weren't for them, you'd be a total stranger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On my way to appear in court regarding a case I had worked on as an
undercover drug investigator, I stopped at the dry cleaners to pick up
my dress shirts. They weren't ready. I showed the clerk my ID and
explained that I had only 20 minutes to get to court and change from
the rock-band T-shirt I was wearing into the suit and tie I had with me.
He ran to the back and returned with a clean shirt, but I realized it wasn't
mine. "Yes, someone else's shirt," he said. "Bring it back when you're
finished."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After one of the machines at work suddenly went on the fritz, our boss
called the repair service and asked to speak to the manager, Ahmed.
"Hello, Ed speaking. How can I help you?" said the guy who answered
the phone.
"Sorry," said my boss. "I was looking for Ahmed."
"This is Ahmed," came the reply. "How can I help you?"
"I thought you said your name was Ed?" asked my boss.
"It is. But whenever I say 'Ahmed,' people think I'm saying 'I'm Ed.' So
I figured it's easier just to be Ed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some neighbors of my grandparents' gave them a pumpkin pie as a
welcome home gift. As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the
first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible that my grandmother
had to throw it away. Ever gracious and tactful, she still felt obliged
to send the neighbors a note. It read "Thank you very much for the
pumpkin pie. Something like that doesn't last very long in our house."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The map my husband had drawn indicated the client I was to see lived in
the second house past Yin road. Exasperated that I couldn't find it, I finally
stopped to ask directions. I was told there was no such road, but a person
by the same name as the client I was looking for lived "in the second house
past the Y in the road."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Stormy weather diverted our Dallas-bound flight to another  
airport. As we approached the runway, the pilot came on the  
intercom: "For those of you who are not familiar with the  
area, this is Lubbock, Texas." Then he paused. "And for  
those of you who are familiar with this area, I think this  
is Lubbock, Texas." 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My father, an Air Force Academy graduate, still retains a  
strict military code of ethics as well as a quick wit. One  
day I mentioned that I was thinking about getting my belly-  
button pierced. "No way!" my father fired back. "This is an  
Air Force family -- no navel destroyers are allowed!" 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Confucius say "House without toilet is uncanny." 

Today's Links:

*some links may have adult contents on the same page,  I have
no control what 
else appears on the page.  Clicker beware!
Video 1988 Paul Hunt gymnastics comedy beam routine
 
 Frozen Waves
  
DTV Answers - February 17, 2009 Switch to DTV
 
Nationwide Health Inspections
 
 
Game Switch It

Please help, it won't cost ya a thing
but it will really feel good

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Free Food For Homeless Dogs
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com

Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/ 

The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to AutismSpeaks
for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies
to help find a cure for autism. 

 http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214


About Free Rice
Free Rice is a sister site of the world poverty site
http://www.freerice.com/about.html
 Poverty.com
No one should ever go to sleep hungry....Jim



Opry schedule for this week

Tuesday
September 16

Friday
September 12

Saturday
September 13

Saturday
September 13

7:00 – 7:30
John Conlee
Richie McDonald

7:30 – 8:00
Charlie Louvin
Raul Malo

8:00 – 8:30
Point of Grace

8:30 – 9:00
George Hamilton IV
The Time Jumpers


8:00 – 8:30
Jimmy C. Newman
Connie Smith
Cherryholmes

8:30 – 9:00
Jeannie Seely
Jack Greene
Adam Gregory

9:00 – 9:30
George Hamilton IV
Bobby Osborne & The Rocky Top X-Press
Restless Heart

9:30 – 10:00
Jim Ed Brown
Rhonda Vincent
Gene Watson

7:00 – 7:30
Jim Ed Brown
George Hamilton IV
Danielle Peck

7:30 – 8:00
Jimmy C. Newman
Connie Smith
Jim Lauderdale

8:00 – 8:30
Lorrie Morgan
Stonewall Jackson
Gene Watson
Opry Square Dancers

8:30 – 9:00
Dierks Bentley
Jeannie Seely
Jesse McReynolds & The Virginia Boys

9:30 – 10:00
Jim Ed Brown
Connie Smith
Danielle Peck

10:00 – 10:30
George Hamilton IV
Jan Howard

10:30 – 11:00
Lorrie Morgan
Stu Phillips
Jim Lauderdale
Opry Square Dancers

11:00 – 11:30
Jeannie Seely
Jesse McReynolds & The Virginia Boys
Gene Watson

Artists and schedule subject to change.

Dear Mr. Obama
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG4fe9GlWS8 


****Bill's Country Calendar ****
****This Country Music History Calendar is reprinted with permission
from the original work copyrighted by Bill Morrison © ****

Thanks Bill

-12-

Helen Carter, of the Carter Sisters, born Maces Springs, VA 1927.

The final TV production of Hometown Jamboree aired 1959. The popular show debuted on 12/18/49.

George Jones, The Possum, born Saratoga, TX 1931. Member of the Grand Ole Opry. Inducted CMHF 1992.

Vernon, Gladys, and Elvis Presley moved from Tupelo, to a small Memphis apartment in 1948.

Rod Brasfield, age 48, died 1958. Inducted CMHF 1987.

George Jones celebrated his 63rd birthday in 1994, by having triple bypass surgery, at Baptist Hospital in Nashville.

Varese Vintage released Roy Clark's "Greatest Hits" 1995.

Rodney Crowell wed his long-time girl friend Claudia Church, in 1998.

Monument released Wade Hayes album "Highways and Heartaches" 2000.

Elektra released Emmylou Harris' album "Red Dirt Girl" 2000.

Koch released Asleep At The Wheel's 2-CD set "Comin' Right at Ya/Texas Gold" in 2000.Dan

Dan Rather interviewed the Dixie Chicks on the CBS television network. Dan pointed out to the girls that after selling 200 Million dollars worth of records, they should be millionaires. They weren't, so shortly after the telecast they sued SONY, and received a huge settlement 2002.

Johnny Cash, age 71, died in Baptist Hospital, Nashville, TN 2003. John has been inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame, Rockabilly Hall of Fame, Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame.

Carolyn Dawn Johnson won five awards at the Canadian Country Music Association Awards in 2004.

-13-

Kelly Harrell, singer/songwriter, born Wythe County, VA 1889.

Daniel Williams, fiddler, for the East Texas Serenaders born 1900.

Kenny "Rudy" Trietsch, of the Hoosier Hot Shots born Arcadia, IN 1903.

Bill Monroe, the Father of Bluegrass, born Rosine, KY 1911.

Claude Casey, singer/bandleader, born Enoree, SC 1912.

Ben Smathers and The Stoney Mountain Cloggers joined the Opry, 1958.

Bobbie Cryner, singer/songwriter, born Woodland, CA 1961.

Barbara Mandrell debuted on the charts with "I've Been Loving You Too Long," 1969.

Tom T. Hall recorded "Levi Jones" 1973.

Randy Travis' album "Old 8x10" was certified platinum 1988.

Ben Smathers, age 62, "Stoney Mountain Cloggers," died 1990.

Suzy Bogguss released "Somethin' Up My Sleeve" 1993.

The new U.S. postage stamp honoring Roy Acuff as "The King of Country Music," was unveiled on stage at the Grand Ole Opry 2003. U.S. Postmaster General John Potter presided.

The Canadian Country Music Association "CCMA" awards show was held in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada 2004.

-14-

Billy Hughes, fiddler/songwriter, born Sallisaw, OK 1908.

Mae Axton, songwriter, born 1914.

Malcolm Yelvington, SUN Records recording artist, born Covington, TX 1918.

Don Walser, singer/songwriter, born Brownfield, TX 1934.

Bill Harrell, Bluegrass singer/multi-instrumentalist, born Marion, VA 1934.

Hank Williams auditioned for Fred Rose in Nashville, 1946.

Vernon Dalhart country music's first million-selling recording artist, died Bridgeport, CT 1948.

John Berry born Aiken, SC 1959.

Ray Charles' single "Busted" charted 1963.

John Wayne Hill, singer/songwriter/guitarist/fiddler, born 1964.

Merle Haggard sang "Mama Tried," on American Bandstand, 1968.

Johnny Lee's "Lookin' For Love" topped the charts 1980.

Suzy Bogguss' "Aces," album certified gold 1992.

Shania Twain walked away with six awards, from the CCMA awards show in 1998. Included in the honors were the Female Vocalist Of The Year, and the Fans Choice Award.

Rounder Records released John Hartford's album "Good Ole Boys" 1999.

Renaissance released Lynn Anderson's "Anthology: The Columbia Years" 1999.

Brooks & Dunn released their album "Tight Rope" on Arista 1999.

Eddie Stoneman, age 81, of the Stoneman Family died 2001.

Diamond Rio's #1 country hit "Beautiful Mess" debuted on Billboard's Top 40 chart 2002.

Sotheby's auction house in New York City opened their two-day auction of Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash's estate 2004

Also visit: Bill's "Rockabilly Country News & Views" Page
Compiled by Bill Morrison - billmorrison2002@hotmail.com

 **** Country Music News
****
Radio personalities nominated for CMA awards, Kix Brooks nominated
Wednesday, September 10, 2008 – Nominations for radio personalities and stations for the 42nd annual Country Music Association awards were disclosed Wednesday with Kix Brooks being among the nominees for a radio show he hosts. If he wins, he would be the first artist to win a broadcast CMA award. >Many of the radio stations and personalities were first-time finalists for a CMA Broadcast Award. Nearly half of the finalists for Broadcast Personality of the Year were nominated for the first time in 2008, including Brooks.
"It is wonderful to see so many new names and stations nominated this year," said CMA Chief Executive Officer Tammy Genovese. "The talent, time and creativity the stations and broadcast teams put into their entries is really amazing. It is obvious they take this competition very seriously and they set a high standard each year." 
 
Five finalists are selected for Broadcast Personality of the Year and Station of the Year in four categories (Small Market, Medium Market, Large Market, and Major Market). 
 
Broadcast personality of the year:
National
"American Country Countdown with Kix Brooks" (Kix Brooks) - ABC Radio Networks
"CMT Country Countdown USA with Lon Helton" (Lon Helton) - Westwood One
"The Crook & Chase Countdown" (Lorianne Crook and Charlie Chase) - Jim Owens Entertainment 
 
Major Market
"The Dr. Don Morning Show" (Don Carpenter, Steve Grunwald, Rachael Hunter, Jason Raithel) - WYCD, Detroit, Mich.
Catherine Lane - WSOC, Charlotte-Gastonia-Rock Hill, N.C.
"Cliff and Company" (Cliff Dumas, Tori Peck, Bill Tanner, and Morgan Thomas) - KSON, San Diego, Calif.
"Jesse and Shotgun in the Morning" (Jesse James and Randy Shannon) - KWLI, Denver-Boulder, Colo.
"Kelly, Mudflap, and JoJo Morning Show" (Kelly Ford, Steve "Mudflap" McGrew, and JoJo) - KYGO, Denver-Boulder, Colo.
"Randy & Dave" (Randy Price and Dave McKay) - WQYK, Tampa-St. Petersburg, Fla. 
 
Large Market
"B-105 Morning Show" (Bill Whyte, Amanda Orlando, and Jason Statt) - WUBE, Cincinnati, Ohio Bob Pickett - KASE, Austin, Texas
"Gerry House & The House Foundation" (Gerry House, Mike Bohan, Duncan Stewart, Al Voecks, and Richard Falklen) - WSIX, Nashville, Tenn.
"The Moo Crew with Karen, Scott and Radar" (Karen Dalessandro, Scott Dolphin, and Tony "Radar" Hess) - WMIL, Milwaukee-Racine, Wis.
"Wake Up with the Wolf" (Darren Wilhite, Tim Wall, and Codie Allen) - WDAF, Kansas City, Mo. 
 
Medium Market
"Andy & Alison and the Morning Crew" (Andy Ritchie and Alison West) - WIVK, Knoxville, Tenn.
Carol Hughes - KFDI, Wichita, Kan.
"Roger and Tom" (Roger Todd and Tom O'Brien) - WPCV, Lakeland-Winter Haven, Fla.
"Ron and Becky Show" (Ron Bee and Becky Palmer) - WBBS, Syracuse, N.Y
"WIVK at Night with Jack Ryan" (Jack Ryan) - WIVK, Knoxville, Tenn. 
 
Small Market
"Big Al and Dex" (Al McClure and Bill Poindexter) - WUSY, Chattanooga, Tenn.
"The Cat Pak Morning Show" (Brent Lane and Dana Cervantes) - WYCT, Pensacola, Fla.
"The Good Morning Guys" (Brian Gary and Todd Harding) - KUAD, Ft. Collins-Greeley, Colo.
"Carol Metz and the More Music Morning Show" (Carol Metz) - WAKG, Danville, Va.
"Mark & Danielle and the Morning Waking Crew" (Mark Ericson and Danielle Carrier) - WOKQ, Portsmouth-Dover-Rochester, N.H. STATION OF THE YEAR 
 
Major Market
KMPS - Seattle-Tacoma, Wash.
KNIX - Phoenix, Ariz.
KSON - San Diego, Calif.
WQYK - Tampa-St. Petersburg, Fla.
WXTU - Philadelphia, Penn. 
 
Large Market
KAJA - San Antonio, Texas
KASE - Austin, Texas
WFMS - Indianapolis, Ind.
WTQR - Greensboro-Winston-Salem-High Point, N.C.
WUBE - Cincinnati, Ohio 
 
Medium Market
KFDI - Wichita, Kan.
KUZZ - Bakersfield, Calif.
WBBS - Syracuse, N.Y.
WIVK - Knoxville, Tenn.
WYRK - Buffalo-Niagara Falls, N.Y. 
 
Small Market
KUAD - Ft. Collins-Greeley, Colo.
WFYR - Peoria, Ill.
WGSQ - Cookeville, Tenn.
WKML - Fayetteville, N.C.
WUSY - Chattanooga, Tenn. 
 
The categories are established by market size based on population as ranked by Arbitron. Entries for Broadcast Personality of the Year are judged on aircheck, ratings, community involvement, and biographical information. Candidates for Station of the Year are judged on airchecks, ratings history, community involvement, and format leadership. 
 
Three finalists are selected for National Broadcast Personality of the Year. To be eligible for National Broadcast Personality of the Year candidates must be syndicated, short-form, hub voice-tracking, and satellite personalities heard in at least 3 markets with a minimum of 40 shows per year. 
 
CMA members who are full-time, on-air personalities and CMA member radio stations in the U.S. and Canada were eligible to enter. The entries are judged by a panel of distinguished broadcast professionals, representing all market sizes and regions. An aggregate score of the first round of judging and the second round, which is done by a different panel of judges, determines the winners. The international accounting firm of Deloitte & Touche LLP tabulates scoring by the judges. CMA Broadcast Award winners are not eligible to enter in consecutive years; therefore, those who received trophies in 2007 were not eligible in 2008. 
 
Winners will be notified in mid-October. The awards show is Nov. 12 in Nashville.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luke Bryan hosts songwriters' charity event
Wednesday, September 10, 2008 – Luke Bryan will head home to Georgia to host his first charity songwriter's event on Oct. 5. The event, in honor of his late brother and sister Chris Bryan and Kelly Bryan Cheshire, will benefit the Lee Branch YMCA of Leesburg, Ga.
Since Chris' death, I've been waiting for the right charity event to do, and now with Kelly's passing, this event seemed like the perfect fit, said Bryan. It is something I can do that will honor them and, at the same time, benefit the people in my hometown which is what I know Chris and Kelly would have wanted. 
 
In addition to Bryan, who has co-written the number one single Good Directions, his own top five All My Friends Say and current hit Country Man, the songwriters who have volunteered their time are Dallas Davidson (Put A Girl In It and Honky Tonk Badonkadonk), Jim McCormick (We Rode In Trucks and Louisiana), Jason Matthews (Must Be Doin' Something Right and Breakdown Here), Jeff Stevens (Carried Away and Back When), and Philip White (I'm Movin' On and I'm A Survivor). 
 
In addition to the concert, there will be a silent auction with all proceeds going to the Lee Branch YMCA. Dierks Bentley, Carrie Underwood, Rodney Atkins, Kenny Rogers, Brooks & Dunn, Montgomery Gentry and others have contributed items. 
 

**** Amy's Kitchen ****  
Slow Cooked Ribs
Salt and pepper
Barbecue sauce; tomatoe base
White vinegar
Sparkling water
Season whole uncut slabs of pork ribs with salt and pepper, cook slowly
in smoker using low heat (220 Maximum) for two hours. Then baste ribs
with a mix of equal parts tomato-based barbeque sauce, white vinegar,
and sparkling water every half hour the next three hours. For the final
hour of cooking, change the baste to a mix of equal parts barbeque sauce
and sparkling water The ribs will have cooked a total of six hours.
Serve with plenty of sauce on the side.

****A Parting Thought ****

How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable."



Last Call Y'ALL
Hate to say it, but our high school football team isn't very good. One
day the coach spotted the marching band practicing on the field and
told them to get off before they tore it up.
"Can we march in the end zone?" asked a band member. "The team
never uses that."


Have a great weekend. See ya Monday

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!

When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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