THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
BEWARE IT'S  THE DREADED MONDAY

One youngster knew the answer when our minister asked the children
what a miracle was. "When my mom and dad let me have another cat," she replied.

Tampons to the Rescue

(Don't worry...it is a letter from a Marine's mom
and it is a great story!!!)

He told me how wonderful the care packages were and wanted me to tell
everyone thank you.  He said that one guy, we'll call Marine X did get a
girl care package and everyone was giving him a hard time.  My son said,
"Marine X got some really nice smelling lotion and everyone really likes
it, so every time he goes to sleep they steal it from him."  I told my
son I was really sorry about the mistake, and if he wanted I would send
Marine X another package.  He told me not to worry about Marine X
because every time I send something to him, Marine X thinks it's for him
too.  He said when my husband and I sent the last care package Marine X
came over to his cot picked up the box, started fishing through it, and
said, "What'd we get this time?"


My son said they had the most fun with Marine X's package.  He said he
wasn't sure who we were sending the pack to, but the panties were size
14, and he said one of the guys got on top of the Humvee and jumped off
with the panties over his head and yelled, "Look at me, I'm an Airborne
Ranger!!!!".

He said one of the guys attached the panties to an antenna and it blew
in the wind like a windsock.  He said it entertained them for quite
awhile.  Then of course, they had the tampons. When he brought this up
my imagination was just running wild, but I let him continue.

My son said they had to go on a mission and Marine X wanted
the chap stick and lotion for the trip.  He grabbed a bunch
of the items out of his care package and got in the Humvee.
As luck would have it he grabbed the tampons, and my son said everyone
was teasing him about "not losing or forgetting his feminine hygiene
products".  My son said things were going well, and then the convoy was
ambushed.  He said a Marine in
the convoy was shot.   He said the wound was pretty clean,
but it was deep  He said they were administering first aid
but couldn't get the bleeding to slow down, and someone said, "Hey use
Marine X's tampons".  My son said they put the tampon in the wound.

At this point my son profoundly told me, "Mom did you know
that tampons expand?"  "Well, yeah!"

They successfully slowed the bleeding and got the guy medical attention.
When they went to check on him later the surgeon told them, "You guys
saved his life".  If you hadn't stopped that bleeding he would have bled
to death.;My son said, "Mom, the tampons sent by the Marine Moms by
mistake saved a Marine's life."

At this point I asked him, "Well what did you do with the rest of the
tampons?"  He said, "Oh, we divided them up and we all have them in our
flak jackets, and I kept two for our first aid kit". I am absolutely
amazed by the ingenuity of our
Marines, and can't   believe that something that started out
as a mistake ended up saving someone's life.  My sister said she doesn't
believe in mistakes.

She said that God had a plan all along.  She believes that female care
package was sent to Marine X to save our Marines. Either way ladies our
efforts have boosted the morale of many Marines, provided much needed
items for our troops, AND saved the life of a Marine!  God bless each of
you for your efforts and hard work, and God bless our Marines, Army,
Navy, Air Force, and every one!
GOD BLESS AMERICA AND KEEP IT SAFE

FROM BUFFALO'S G JOKES
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes
to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says,

 "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As
the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next
morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say,

"We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry
way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same
monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That
night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply,

"We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way
I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become
a monk?"

The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades
of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find
these numbers, you will become a monk."

The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and
knocks on the door of the monastery.

He says, "I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked
for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and
231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show
you the way to the sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The
sound is right behind that door."

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?"

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden
door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone
door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door
made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.
Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went
until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz,
amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and
behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

        But, of course. . . . I can't tell you what it is
because.........

you're not a monk!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple decides to go for a meal on their anniversary and after some
deliberation settle on their local .  They peruse the
menu and finally agree to share the chef's special chicken surprise.
The waiter brings over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the pot
rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking
around before the lid slams back down.

"Did you see that?" she asked her husband.  He hadn't, so she asks him
to look in the pot.

He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and this time he sees two
beady little eyes looking around before the lid firmly slams back down.
Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over and recounts what is happening
and demands an explanation.

"Well, sir," says the waiter, "What did you order?"

"We both chose the same," replies the husband, "the chicken surprise."

"Oh, I do apologize, this is my fault," says the waiter.....
"I've brought you the Peking Duck!"
NEVER order a surprise at a Chinese restaurant....Jb
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
if AOL were a city...

The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every time you try
to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic knocks you back into your
yard.

The local post office would tell your mother you're not a known
resident.

The local post office wouldn't forward your mail to you when you moved.

You would get calls like " Hi, I'm j0e hax0r from the town council. We
had a database crash and lost your tax records. Please give us your
address and the key to your house or we will be forced to evict you and
your family."

Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the store by a
bouncer screaming "WE'RE SORRY, THIS STORE IS TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE."

You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another bouncer
telling you that the city has performed an illegal operation, but that
it's really the Earth's fault.

The administration would build a huge, state of the art park, and
advertise that children can play there free, then suddenly demand money
while ripping down the swings and accosting the children playing there.

Don't forget the AOL playground, which is locked so that the kiddies
cannot get out "for safety reasons," and then hordes of perverts &
pedophiles are allowed in.

The police would work for free out of some sort of "duty" to the city,
but would secretly only be doing it for the free food stamps.

Upon waking every morning, a voice from above would shout "HEY!! YOU DO
WANT AN AOL VISA, DON'T YOU?" To which you say "no."
The   voice then replies "OK, I'LL ASK YOU TOMORROW."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man who had been working for the circus for many years as 'Mr Tiny,
the shortest man alive', agreed to meet with a local newspaper reporter
on his day off to be interviewed.

The reporter arrives on time, but was surprised to be greeted by a man
who was nearly six feet tall. The reporter thought he must be in the
wrong place and asked the tall man if he knew anything about a Mr Tiny.

"That's me!" says the tall man.

"B-b-but you're suppose to be short!" says the reporter.

Mr Tiny replies. . .

      "I told you----this is my day off."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What women want in a man at age 22:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What women want in a man at age 32:
1. Nice looking (preferably with hair)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What women want in a man at age 42:
1. Not too ugly (bald head is fine)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What women want in a man at age 52:
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What women want in a man at age 62:
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What women want in a man at age 72:
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The real reason I always try to meet and know the parents better
is because it helps me to forgive their children
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One afternoon my wife April rushed out of the house, forgetting her
keys, and found herself locked out.  There was nothing she could do but
wait for me to come home.  She saw a neighbor who was outside raking
leaves.

"You locked yourself out?" he asked.

"Yeah, this is the second time since we moved in.  After the first time
we took an extra key and put it in a jar, then stuck it in a potted
plant on the deck.".

"So.... what's the problem?"

"I took the plants in for the winter."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were two buddies, one with a Doberman Pinscher and the other with
a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to his friend,
"Let's go over to that restaurant and get something to eat."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs
with us."

The buddy with the Doberman Pinscher says, "Just follow my lead."

They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher
puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. The bouncer at
the door says, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed."

The man with the Doberman Pinscher says, "You don't understand. This is
my seeing-eye-dog."

The bouncer says, "A Doberman Pinscher?"

He answers, "Yes, they're using them now; they're very good and protect
me from robbers, too."

The man at the door says, "Come on in."

The buddy with the Chihuahua figures, "What the heck," so he puts on a
pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

Once again the bouncer says, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed."

The guy with the Chihuahua says, "You don't understand. This is my
seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer at the door says, "A Chihuahua?"

The man with the Chihuahua says, "A Chihuahua?????? They gave me a
Chihuahua?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman walks into a curio shop in San Francisco.   Looking
around at  the exotica, she notices a very life-like, life-sized bronze
statue of a rat.  It has no price tag, but is so striking she decides
she must have it. She takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze
rat?" "Twelve dollars for the rat, a hundred dollars for the story,"
says the owner. The woman gives the shop-owner twelve dollars. "I'll
just take the rat, you can keep the story."

As she walks down the street carrying his bronze rat, she notices that a
few real rats have crawled out of alleys and sewers, and begun following
her down the street. This is a bit disconcerting, so she begins walking
a little faster.  Within a couple blocks, the group of rats behind her
grows  to over a hundred, and they begin squealing. She starts to trot
toward the Bay.  She takes a nervous look around and sees that the rats
now number in the thousands maybe millions- -and they are all squealing
and coming toward her faster and faster. Terrified, she runs to the edge
of the Bay, and throws the bronze rat as far out into the Bay as she
can.

Amazingly, the millions of rats all jump into the Bay after it, and are
all drowned.

The woman walks back to the curio shop. "Ah ha," says the owner, "I'll
bet you have come back for the story?"

"No," said the woman, "I came back to see if you have a bronze
lawyer."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once upon a time a young lad was born without
a belly button. In its place was a golden screw.
All the doctors told his mother that there was
nothing that they could do. Like it or not he was
stuck with it.

All the years of growing up was real tough on him,
as all who saw the screw made fun of him. He
avoided ever leaving his house and thus never
made any friends.

One day a mysterious stranger saw his belly and
told him of a swami in Tibet that could get rid of the
screw for him. He was thrilled.

The next day he took all of his life's savings and
bought a ticket to Nepal. After several days of
climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant
monastery.

The swami knew exactly why he had come. He
was told to sleep in the highest tower of the
monastery and the following day when he awoke,
the screw would have been removed.

The man immediately went to the room and fell
asleep. During the night while he slept, a purple
fog floated in an open window bearing in it's mist
a golden screwdriver. In just moments, the screw-
driver removed the screw and disappeared out of
the window.

The next morning when he woke, he saw the golden
screw laying on the pillow next to him. Reaching down,
he felt his navel, and there was no screw there!

Jubilant, he leaped out of bed ...... and his butt fell off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sick in the Hospital:
THIS ABOUT ME ?...Jb

Jim was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy.

Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for a bath, or are we hungry?"

Old Jim had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old Jim had breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bedside stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill for testing.

The juice was apple juice. So..., you know where the juice went! The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it. "My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today."

At this, Old Jim snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time."

The nurse fainted! . . Old Jim just smiled!

DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~Blondie~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Understanding
There is a story about a father who became disturbed about the length of time his six year old son was taking to get home from school.

The father decided he would make the trip to discover for himself how long it should take a small boy to cover the distance. The father settled on 20 minutes but his son was still taking an hour. Finally the father decided to make the trip with his son.

After the trip, the father said, "The 20 minutes I thought reasonable was right, but I failed to consider such important things as a side trip to track down a trail of ants...or an educational stop to watch a man fix a flat...or the time it took to swing around a half dozen telephone poles...or how much time it took for a boy just to get acquainted with two stray dogs and brown cat.

"In short," said the father, "I had forgotten what it is really like to be six years old."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a local church broke ground for a new 500-seat sanctuary, an inventive church member made sure everyone could participate in the experience. The man attached a 145-foot handle to a stainless steel spade so that all 300 members could squeeze together to turn the first shovel full of dirt.

A few days later, when a construction worker spotted the odd shovel and asked what it was for, the minister replied, "We bury 'em deep here."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large,
leathered bikers walked in.

The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old
man's pie and then took a seat at the counter.

The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and
then he too took a seat at the counter.

The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and
then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner.

Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not
much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed
his big-rig over three motorcycles."

**** HERE'S YOUR SIGN - STUPID ****
 

KETTERING, Ohio - As Debbie Coleman rushed to the hospital to give
birth, she realized she wasn't going to make it there. While her 3-
and 4-year-old daughters slept in the back seat, Coleman pulled
into a gas station just after mid- night Tuesday. A customer
tried to give police a heads-up about Coleman's situation, but
a mix-up with the license plate number had them thinking the van
was stolen. Coleman was heading to the hospital with the baby boy
in her arm when she noticed several cruisers following her before
one cut her off. With guns drawn, officers ordered her out of the
van with her hands up. "I opened the door and said, 'I just had
a baby' and just let them see everything," she said. She had no
more problems getting to the hospital after that.

Elkhart, Ind. - It sounds like a scene out of Alfred Hitchcock's
"The Birds". A school teacher noticed a group of wild turkeys
outside of the school. The turkeys didn't appear to be bothersome,
but when the children went out for recess... our feathered friends
harassed the children. Police and animal control were called
to capture the badgering birds. After a 25 minute chase the fowl
remain at large. A week earlier the turkeys' obstructed traffic
on the road which lead to the school. I wonder if they saw this
month's lunch menu?

Calgary, Canada - A parachutist's stunt went horribly wrong when
he attempted to jump off the Canadian Trust building and safely
descend to the ground thanks to a trusty parachute. During his jump,
the 41-year-old was caught by a wind and slammed into a 24th floor
window. The broken glass then went through seven windows in the
atrium below. The failed stunt caused around $5,000 in damages
and the daredevil could face charges. After police arrived the
would- be stuntman was taken to a hospital for pelvic, back and
abdominal injuries.

Protests: In London, 35 Greenpeace protesters rushed onto the floor
of the International Petroleum Exchange in February, intending
to paralyze oil trading on the day the Kyoto environmental
initiative took effect, but, unexpectedly, the traders turned
on them, punching and kicking the protesters until they ran for
their lives. (Two were hospitalized.) Said one protester, "I've
never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view."
And New Zealand computer technician Simon Oosterman, 24, who says
he goes naked everywhere in public to protest society's dependence
on the automobile, paused outside an Auckland District courtroom
in February, took clothing from his backpack, and got dressed,
to step inside to enter his not-guilty plea to an earlier charge
of indecent exposure.

Matthew Porter, 25, was arrested on the Bear Creek Park Frisbee
Golf Course in the Dallas suburb of Grapevine, Tex., in February,
and charged with possession of marijuana after a police officer
said he smelled dope in a group of men that included Porter.
Porter had no marijuana on him at the time, but while the officer
was checking the men's identification, Porter's Labrador retriever,
J.D., emerged from an adjacent pond, apparently having obediently
(though unwisely) "fetched" a plastic bag containing 4 grams
of marijuana.

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**** ON THIS DAY ****
There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we    feel.
For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we
   hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to
   communicate the idea in other words.
 
   We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really,
   these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important
   to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
 
   We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say,    and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so
   strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we
   really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left  feeling unloved and unwanted.
 
   Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are
   saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more
   often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous
   insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are
   expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though
   the words might be saying  very different.
 
   Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you.
   Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel.  Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that it contains.  But it is often there, beneath the surface.
 
   A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his
   room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully,
   he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to
   do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son
   unfortunately emerge  in her nagging.  But it is love all the same.
 
   A daughter comes home late, way past her curfew, and her father
   confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listens carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father  is saying. 'Because I care
   about you  and I love you. You are important to me.
 
   We say I love you in many ways- with birthday gifts, and little notes,
   with smiles and sometimes with tears.  Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking
   out, even brusquely.  We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness.  Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not
   listened to the love we have tried to express.
 
   The problem is listening for love is that we don't always understand
   the language of love which the other person is using.
 
   A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language.  Thus, we have to force ourselves
to really listen for love.
 
   The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other.
   They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that
   accompany the words or the expression on the face.  Or people listen
   only for rejection or misunderstanding.  They do not see the love that
   is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry.
 
   We have to listen for love in those around us.  If we listen intently
   we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize.
 
   Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place
   after all.  LOVE is a happy thing. It makes us laugh.
   It makes us sing. It makes us sad.  It makes us cry.
   It makes us seek the reason why. It makes us take. It makes us give.
 
   Above all else it makes us LIVE.
 
   It is not the presence or absence of people that makes the  difference
   because a person need not be lonely even if he is alone.  Sometimes it
   is good to be alone.  But that does not make us lonely.  It is not a
   matter of being present WITH someone. 
It is a matter of being present TO someone.  So remember...
 
   If you love someone, tell them.  Remember always to say what you mean. Never be afraid to express yourself.  Take this opportunity to tell
   someone what they mean to you.  Seize the day and have no regrets.
 
   Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have
   helped make you the person that you are today and are what it's all
   about anyway.  
~~~~~~~Blondie~~~~~~~~
Get the Drunk Home

Try this and see how far you can keep this drunk man up.
Hysterical........You just move your mouse left to right (no clicking) to
keep him walking in a straight line. The object of the game is to keep
him walking, without falling over, by using your mouse from left to right
or right to left, you can't see your mouse which makes it more difficult.
Apparently the record is 82 meters! And it's in German
CLICK ON THE HYPERLINK BELOW TO PLAY - ITS ADDICTIVE.
http://www.wagenschenke.ch/
~~~~~~~~~~~~BaBs~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blondes

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:" Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says
"Helllloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......?????


CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"


KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"


BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"


IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" "Hellllloooooo," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs."

Footnote:  Actually I don't think this is so dumb...kinda cute...Am I blonde, or what?
~~~~~~~~~~BaBs~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Babs, you shoulda been...Jb