|
Welcome
to
The Almost Daily
Funnies
TGIFFRIDAY APRIL 15,2005
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
To some there are
two kinds of secrets. One is not
worth keeping and the other is too good to
keep.
A Blonde Joke You'll
Love!
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family
ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble
and
are down to their last $600. In order to keep the bank from
repossessing
the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed
their own
stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get
there,
if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me
and
haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects
the
bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he
will
sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the
nearest
town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks
into
the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my
sister
telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to
hitch
the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul
it
home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help
her,
then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the
bull,
the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able
to
send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she
nods,
and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable." The
telegraph
operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you
want
her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to
haul
that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word,
'comfortable?'"
The brunette explains, "My sister is blonde. The word is big.
She'll
read it slow.
("com-for-da-bul")
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My
husband used to be a test pilot for the Air Force. One day
I told him I was
concerned about him taking a plane up for the
first time after it had
been repaired. "Don't worry, dear," he
reassured me. "The mechanic knows
he'll be going up with me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An old man goes to a diner every day for lunch. He always orders
the
soup du jour. One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal.
The
old man replies, "It was good, but you could give a little more
bread."
So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him four
slices
of bread. "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks. "It was good,
but
you could give a little more bread," comes the reply.
So the next
day the manager tells the waitress to give him eight slices
of bread. "How
was your meal today, sir?" the manager asks. "Good, but
you could give a
little more bread," comes the reply.
So . . . the next day the
manager tells the waitress to give him a
whole loaf of bread with his soup!
"How was your meal, sir?" the manager
asks, when he comes to pay.
"It
was good, but you could give just a little more bread," comes the
reply once
again.
The manager is now obsessed with seeing this customer say that he
is
satisfied with his meal, so he goes to the bakery, and orders
a
six-foot-long loaf of bread. When the man comes in as usual the
next
day, the waitress and the manager cut the loaf in half, butter
the
entire length of each half, and lay it out along the counter, right
next
to his bowl of soup. The old man sits down, and devours both his bowl
of
soup, and both halves of the six-foot-long loaf of bread.
The
manager now thinks he will get the answer he is looking for, and
when the old
man comes up to pay for his meal, the manager asks in the
usual
way: "How
was your meal TODAY, sir?"
The old man replies: "It was good as usual,
but I see you are back to
giving only two slices of
bread!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To teach the children the meaning of
kindness, every morning my son's second grade teacher put the students' names
into a hat. The children each picked a name and had to perform an act of
kindness for that person during the day. Each day after school I asked Charlie
whose name he had pulled and what kind thing he had done. One day he told me he
had drawn his teacher's name. "That's terrific," I replied. "What kind thing did
you do for him?" Proudly he said, "I listened to
him!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DON'T MESS WITH
JANE
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a
Michigan fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Michigan
fans
too. Not really knowing what a Michigan fan was, but wanting to
be
liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There
is,
however, one exception. A little girl named Jane has not gone
along
with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to
be
different. "Because I'm not a Michigan fan" she reports. "Then,"
asks
the teacher, "what are you?" "I'm a proud Ohio State Buckeye Fan"
the
girl said. The teacher is a little perturbed, her face slightly red.
She
asks Jane why she is an Ohio State Fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom
are
Buckeye fans, so I'm a Buckeye fan too," she responds. The teacher
is
angry now. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom
was a
moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" Jane
smiles
and says, "Then I'd be a Michigan
fan."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our busload of seniors had spent the day touring the countryside
searching for glimpses of as many birds as possible. The serious birdwatchers
among us explained that in the spring, the most interesting migrants are the
warblers -- such as Tennessee warblers, yellow warblers, black-and-white
warblers and black- throated green warblers. By late afternoon a hard-core group
at the front of the bus was still enthusiastically jotting down each species we
encountered, while the rest of us, who had long since lost interest in warblers,
were eagerly anticipating our supper. Finally, one of the enthusiasts announced,
"Now we only need to see a yellow rump and we can go home." A long -- suffering
lady at the back jumped up and turned around. "Will I do?" she asked as she
displayed the back of her yellow
pantsuit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two women
were discussing marriage, and one said, "We've been married
twenty-five
years, and every night my husband has complained about the
food. Not one
night without complaining about the food."
The other woman said, "That's
awful. Doesn't it bother you?"
The first one said, "Why should I object
if he doesn't like his
own
cooking?"
------------------------------------------
When the
officer in charge of our K-9 unit had a problem with his van, he took it to a
garage. It would have to be left for a couple of days, so he radioed
headquarters for a replacement vehicle for himself and his dog.
Two
officers were told to get a car, remove the backseat and take it to the K-9
handler. Not until they got to the garage did they realize it was the car their
colleague wanted, not the backseat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My wife was
complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and
not enough time
with her. I decided to fix that by having a `movie
night` with her.
We
watched `Hackers`, `The Net`, `Anti-Trust`, `You've Got Mail` and
The
Matrix. She's still mad at me. What did I
do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had a part in a community-theatre production of Equus, and although
we had speaking roles, six of us also had to fill in as horses several times a
night. As I was leaving home on my way to opening night, my wife called out,
"I'd say break a leg, but you know what they do to
horses."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nancy, my
six-year-old niece, was cracking nuts while chatting with her grandmother about
Sunday school and church. Suddenly she interrupted to ask: "What kind of nut is
this?" "They're almonds," her grandmother answered," and they were probably
grown in the country where Jesus was born."
"Then that's a good name for
them," Nancy answered.
Puzzled, Grandmom asked, "Why's that?"
"You
know," Nancy said,
"Amens."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During an attack of
laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days.
To help me communicate
with him, my husband devised a system of taps.
One tap meant, "Give me a
kiss," two taps meant "No," three taps meant
"Yes," and 95 taps meant "Take
out the garbage."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My new co-workers introduced
me to their favorite diner for a morning coffee break. The service was of an era
long gone. The waitress boasted that we would never see the bottom of our coffee
cups.
True to her word, she was at our table every five minutes to fill
them. Our order was promptly prepared and sitting before us in minutes. Though I
wanted none, the waitress shoved an extra plate of buttered toast in front of
me, saying, "Eat it, or you'll make me feel guilty."
After she scurried
to another table, one of my colleagues piped up, "Where else can you find
service like this?"
I answered, "At my
mother's!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A small, uncertain, and nervous
witness was being cross-examined.
The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever
been married?"
"Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice.
"Once."
"Whom did you marry?" the lawyer demanded.
"Well, a
woman," the witness answered timidly.
The lawyer said angrily, "Of course
you married a woman. Did you ever
hear of anyone marrying a man?"
And
the witness said meekly, "My sister
did."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A naked motorcyclist wearing
just a scarf, sunglasses and a pair of sandals
crashed his bike after he was
stung on the inner thigh by a bee.
The 36-year-old, who had been driving
to the swimming area at a German
nudist colony, lost control of the bike as
he swatted the insect away.
Police said they are considering pressing
charges after the incident as the
man was not wearing a crash
helmet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I work in a school department that is
supported by educational grants.
On his first day, my new boss delivered some
bad news. He said,
"Unfortunately your last boss failed to apply for the
grant that
supports your work. You will be terminated at the end of this
month. Did
you know that?" Admittedly, I was unprepared for this, but I was
not
shocked.
Two weeks before the end of my tenure, the new boss came
to me. He said,
"Before you go, please submit the lesson plans you would
have used for
the next three months."
I said, "Oh, I'm sorry, those
lesson plans were covered in the grant.
Didn't you know
that?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend Vickie's husband, Mark, cut his hand
while trying to separate
two frozen hamburger patties with a sharp kitchen
knife. It was
severe enough that he went to the medical clinic for
treatment.
As Mark was having the wound stitched, the receptionist was
reviewing
the details of the accident. "Were the police called?" she asked
Vickie.
Perplexed, Vickie replied: "No. Why would we have called the
police?"
"Well," said the receptionist, "it says in this report that your
husband was
cut while trying to separate two
burglars."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lttle
Johnny and his pal were walking home from Sunday School, both
quiet and deep
in his own thoughts.
Finally his pal spoke up and said,
"What do
you think about all this 'Devil Business' we studied in
church
today?"
Little Johnny replied thoughtfully,
"You know
how Santa Claus turned out to be? Well, this is probably just
our Dad
too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Texan, trying to impress
a Boston native with tales about the heroes of the Alamo, says... "Why, I'll bet
you never had anyone so brave around Boston."
"Humpf! Ever hear of Paul
Revere?" asked the Bostonian.
"Paul Revere?!" said the Texan. "Isn't he
the guy who ran for help?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
widowed lady, travelling alone, was taking a long plane trip back to
where
she & her husband both grew up.
Upon arriving at the airport she
informed the airline that she wanted to
take her dog with her in the cabin.
She became angry when the airline
told her she couldn't, but finally gave in
and allowed them to put the
dog in the baggage compartment.
The
airline pilot told her,
"It will be warm & pressurized in there,
& your dog should be just fine.
Nothing to worry about."
Upon
arrival at the first fuel stop, the crew went to check on the dog
and found
it dead! The airline crew quickly ran all over town until they
found a dog of
the same color, height, weight, and sex & put it in the
cage in place of
the dead dog.
Upon arrival at their final destination, they hand
delivered the lady
her dog. Quite surprised, the woman says,
"Sorry,
but that's not my dog! Could you please go get *my* dog?"
The airline
pilot replies,
"Sure it's your dog. Look! It's the same height, weight,
color, & sex as
when we loaded it."
The lady again
insisted,
"THIS, IS *NOT* MY DOG!"
The airline pilot asks
her,
"Just how do you know that this isn't your dog?"
The widow
answers. . . .
"Because my dog was dead! I was
taking it home to bury it next to
my
husband!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
??????????
As the
editor of two weekly newspapers, I rely on a fax machine to receive dozens of
community submissions each week. But I had to wonder once about how some people
view this part of the information highway when I received a three-page faxed
news release, accompanied by a hand-written cover sheet: "Please do not hesitate
to call me should you not receive this
information."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two deaf men were
'talking' on their coffee break about being out late
the night
before.
The first man signed to his friend,
"My wife was asleep
when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed,
and not get into trouble.
How about you?"
The second deaf man signed back,
"Boy you're
lucky! My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and
she started
swearing at me and giving me hell for being out so late."
The first deaf
man asked,
"So, what did you do?"
The second man signs
back,
"I turned out the
light."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
QUICKIES
Q. You
might not always find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, but
where can
you always find diamonds?
A. In a deck of playing
cards.
~
Anyone
who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried
it.
~
My friend admitted she was forty but she didn't say
when.
~
In one night, my neighbor's wife lost 8 pounds--someone swiped
her
bowling ball.
~
Television is what gives you nothing to do when you
aren't doing
anything anyway.
~
The Florida fund for alligators is called Gator
Aid.
~
Q. What happened to the egg that went
bad?
A. It was eggs-secuted.
~
"When I grow up," a little boy told his friend,
"I'm going to make millions and live in a mansion with no bathtubs. That way, I
can be filthy rich!"
~
Q. What did the egg say to the
blender?
A. I know when I'm beaten.
~
Arnie: Are you still seeing that shrink?
Barney: Nah, all he
did was charge a lot of money to ask me
the same questions my wife asks me
for free.
~
Q. What time is it when 3 bears are chasing
you?
A. 3 after 1.
~
Always buy a good bed and a good pair of shoes.
When you're not in one, you'll be in the
other.
~
Q. What do you do when an elephant sits on
your toes?
A Call a toe truck.
~
"England
has also approved the cloning of horses. They did
that so Prince Charles and
Camilla can have children."
Jay Leno
~
Q. What knd of fish
goes best with a peanut butter sandwich?
A.
Jellyfish!
~
Q. Where do sunflowers go at night?
A. To
flower beds.
~
Employee: Boss, I've been here 11 years doing three
men's work for one
man's pay. I want a raise and I want it
now!
Boss: Well, I can't give you a raise, but tell you what.... if
you tell
me who the other two men are, I'll fire them.
~
an
oldie
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take
another minute
with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged
to have a friend call him to the phone
so he would have an excuse to leave if
something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered
his eyes, put on a grim
expression and said,
"I have some bad news. My
grandfather just died."
"Thank heaven," his date
replied....
"If yours hadn't, mine would have had
to."
~
There are seven natural openings in the head and body. A lawyer is
the only human being with eight. The extra one is a slot to store money in,
should his bank be unable to hold all of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man
was quite drunk on his favorite beer when he wandered out of the bar. As he
walked, he came to the wharf near the city. He saw a pier, and it occurred to
him that the pier was made of a series of boards nailed side by side from the
shore to the end.
He decides to count the boards, and stepped onto the
pier. Much to his dismay, he discovered that in his toxic state the boards moved
around too much for him to count. He also noticed that the slits between the
boards were steadier, so he decided to count them instead.
He started at
the shore and walked, head down, toward the end. So intent was he on his
counting, that he didn't notice the end of the pier and he walked right
off!
Luckily, a Coast Guard cutter was going by just then and they
hurried over and helped the man out of the water.
Later, one of the
sailors reported to the Captain that he had heard the drunk saying the strangest
thing as they hauled him from the water. "When you're out of slits, you're out
of pier."
You can join
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**** Visiting Doc Taz M.D.
D.V.M. ****
Doctor to patient: did your father die
from natural causes?
Patient: no, he had a
doctor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Well, under the new requirements,
they say Canadians who, up to this
point only need to show a driver's license
to cross the border, will now
need a passport. Canadian's coming into the
United States will need to
bring a passport, or a bag of cheap prescription
drugs." ~ Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My sister had been ill,
so I called to see how she was doing. My
ten-year-old niece answered the
phone.
"Hello," she whispered.
"Hi, Honey. How's your mother doing?" I
asked.
"She's sleeping," she answered, again in a whisper.
"Did
she go to the doctor?" I asked.
"Yes. She got some medicine," my niece
said softly.
"Well, don't wake her. Just tell her I called. What are you
doing, by
the way?"
Again in a soft whisper, she answered, "Practicing
my trumpet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man stumbled into the
emergency room dressed in a medieval bard's
outfit, clutching his stomach
with one hand and moaning in agony. With
his free hand he was clutching
a lute, which he dropped on the floor in
front of the nurse's station. He
then collapsed in a heap on the floor,
rolled himself into a fetal position,
and began to moan much louder.
Fearing serious food poisoning, doctors
quickly brought a stretcher out
and rolled him into the bowels of the
ER. Half an hour later, the man
walked past the nurse and out the door,
whistling happily to himself.
Noticing that the man looked much
healthier, the nurse asked one of the
doctors what was ailing the man. The
doctor shrugged and said....
"nothing big, just minstrel
cramps."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man goes to a doctor for a
routine physical. The nurse starts with the
basics.
"How much do you
weigh?" she asks.
"Oh, About One-sixty-five." he says.
The nurse
puts him on the scale. It turns out that his weight is 187.
The nurse asks,
"Your height?"
"Oh, About six feet," he says.
The nurse checks and
sees that he's only 5 feet 8 3/4 inches. She then
takes his blood pressure,
and it's very high.
"High!" The man explains, "Well, what did you
expect?
When I came in here, I was tall and lanky. Now, dammit,
I'm short
and fat!"
**** TODAY'S SPECIAL
****
Tex Mex Bake
1 lb. hamburger
1 pkg.
(10 oz) frozen corn, thawed and drained
1 c. chopped onion
1 c. finely
chopped green peppers
1 c. mild salsa
1 tsp. ground cumin
1/2 tsp.
salt
1 pkg. (8 oz) corn muffin mix
Combine meat, corn, onion, pepper,
salsa, cumin,and salt in a 9 inch
square baking dish. Cover with foil. Bake
in preheated 400 degree
oven for 30 minutes. Ten before end of baking,
prepared muffin mix
according to pkg. directions. At the end of baking,
carefully spread
batter over meat mixture, making sure entire surface is
covered.
Bake another 20 to 25 minutes until golden brown and wooden tooth
pick inserted in center comes out clean.
~&~
Peach Cobbler
2 cups fresh peaches
1 cup brown
sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
2 tablespoons butter
Place in
uncovered baking dish and cover with batter prepared as follows:
1 cup
flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons baking
powder
2 tablespoons shortening or margarine
1/3 cup milk
Sift
together the flour, salt, sugar and baking powder. Cut in the
shortening,
add the milk and mix. Bake at 425 degrees till done.
**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT
****
Why are you supposed to throw
salt over your shoulder after you spill it?
Superstitions about salt date back to biblical
times when salt was a highly prized commodity. It was expensive, crucial in
preserving food, and was often used in lieu of currency. So spilling salt was
considered an almost sacrilegious offence, and left one perilously exposed to
the devil's machinations.
Throwing salt over your shoulder is akin to
blessing someone after they've sneezed -- it's a way of keeping the devil at bay
while you're in an especially vulnerable moment. Depending on your
interpretation, the salt is either intended to blind the devil so he can't
witness your error, or keep him from sneaking up on you while you're cleaning up
your mess.
It's important to note that the superstition calls for the
offender to throw salt over the left shoulder. As one web site notes, many
ancient traditions place the devil to the left of the straight and narrow path.
The classic image of a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other often
shows the sinister imp sitting on the left side.
And if you want to
really follow the letter of the law, you're encouraged to throw the salt with
your "good," or right hand. Throughout history, the association of right with
good and left with bad caused a number of perfectly respectable left-handed
people to be burned at the stake.
****
WABASH VALLEY WEATHER ****
Weather Summary:
Some great weather for a few more days! Thursday night will be clear and
cool with lows in the upper 30`s. Due to wet ground and a light breeze
along with the fact that temperatures will only be in the upper 30`s for
a short time right at sunrise, any frost will be very limited in low
areas and only for a very brief time at sunrise. In other words, frost
should not be a problem Thursday night! Friday through early next week
looks great with dry weather and highs in the low 70`s. There will be a
few more clouds by Sunday but the next chance of rain not until later
next Wednesday and into Thursday.
-- Jesse Walker
Weather
Factoid:
The strongest wind gust ever recorded anywhere in the world was on
May
3rd, 1999 near Moore, Oklahoma. It happened in an F5 tornado and was
recorded at 318 mph!
Thursday Night
Clear and Cool
Low 38
Friday
Sunny
High 68
Friday Night
Clear and
Cool
Low 42
Saturday
Sunny
High 72
Low 42
Sunday
Partly Sunny
High 72
Low 45
Monday
Partly Sunny
High
73
Low 50
Tuesday
Partly Sunny
High 72
Low 52
Wednesday
Showers / Storms Possible Late
High 67
Low 52
Thursday
Showers / T-Storms
High 65
Low 47
****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Be kind, everyone you meet today is fighting
a tough battle too.
TOON TIME
Snow
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32024.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32024.htm
"> Here!</a>
Strange Breed
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32023.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32023.htm
"> Here!</a>
Homo Erectus
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32022.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32022.htm
"> Here!</a>
Putting The Dog Out...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/041.htm
<a
href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/041.htm">
Here </a>
Mmmm, Dinner Time...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/042.htm
<a
href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/042.htm">
Here </a>
REWARD!! Wanted Man!
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny141.html
<a
href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny141.html">Here!</a>
Momma
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32021.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32021.htm
"> Here!</a>
Misfits
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32020.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32020.htm
"> Here!</a>
Speak Up
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32019.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32019.htm
"> Here!</a>
Printer In The Stoneage...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/039.htm
<a
href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/039.htm">
Here </a>
Comfortable Bed...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/040.htm
<a
href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/040.htm">
Here </a>
He's Very Bright!
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny142.html
<a
href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny142.html">Here!</a>
LAST CALL Y'ALL
While on a road trip, an
elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant
for lunch. After finishing
their meal, they left the restaurant and
resumed their trip.
When
leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on
the
table.
And, she didn't miss them until after they had been driving
about twenty
minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel
quite a
distance before they could find a place to turn around in order
to
return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.
All the way
back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old
man.
He
fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the
entire
return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he
became. He just
wouldn't let up for one minute.
To her relief, they finally arrived at
the restaurant.
And as the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to
retrieve her
glasses, the old geezer yelled to her. . . .
"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and
credit
card."
I've taken a
vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out
there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
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