Archives at Zinester: The Daily Funnies. The Funnies. Humor & Jokes

You are receiving this e-zine because you subscribed and confirmed the subscription - this is known as double opt-in. This mailing is being sent in accordance with the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003.

ATTENTION AOL , WMCONNECT AND OTHER ISP REPRESENTATIVES:If your are reading this e-mail and are not a regular subscriber, you are violating the terms of this disclaimer and the law. This is a PRIVATE, SUBSCRIBER-ONLY e-mail which is covered by:

TITLE 18 , PART I , CHAPTER 47 , Sec. 1030.
http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/18/1030.html
and
Internet Privacy Law
http://www.netatty.com/privacy/privacy.html

Complete unsubscribe information is located at the bottom of this Ezine
And now on to The Funnies
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
From Carlisle ,Indiana
Welcome to
The Almost Daily Funnies

FRIDAY APRIL 29,2005

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
For every person with a spark of genius, there are a
THOUSAND with ignition trouble.

"I wish they wouldn't keep referring to the American dollar
as stable. You know what's found in stables." ~ Robert Orben

Welcome New Subscribers

"Happy birthday to Queen Elizabeth. She is 79 years old today. She is in
great shape. Boy she doesn??™t look a day older than Camilla."

Things You'll Never Hear A Southerner Say.....

"Duct tape won't fix that"
"I'll take Shakespeare for $1,000, Alex"

"Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael"

"Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken"

"Has anyone seen the sideburn trimmer?"

"You can't feed that to the dog"

"I thought Graceland was tacky"

"No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe"

"Wrasslin's fake"

"Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?"

"We're vegetarians"

"Do you think my hair is too big?"

"I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy"

"Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?"

"Who's Richard Petty?"

"Give me the small bag of pork rinds"

Deer heads detract from the decor"

"Spitting is such a nasty habit"

"I just couldn't find the thing at Wal-Mart today"

"Trim the fat off that steak"

"Cappuccino tastes better than espresso"

"The tires on that truck are big"

"I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad"

"I've got it all on a floppy disk"

"Unsweetened tea tastes better"

"Would you like your fish poached or broiled?"

"My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's"

"I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl"

"Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams

"Checkmate"

"She's too old to be wearing that bikini"

"Doeas the salad bar have bean sprouts?"

"Hey, here's an episode of Jerry Springer that we haven't seen"

"I don't have a favorite college team"

"Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side"

"I believe you cooked those beans too long"

"We need to take the kids to the dentist"

"We're not related"

"That car will never run again"

"Would you please pass the Palomar All Fruit?"

"Pardon me, do you have any Gray Poupon?"

"These baluga and goose pat?© hors d' ouvres are simply divine!"

"Get over it, will ya? That war ended 133 years, ago 16 days, 4 hours
and 41 minutes ago!"

"What is Kudzoo?"

"I want to move to New York City to be a star!"

"Give me a soda pop!"

"Not tonight sis, I'm not in the mood."

"We don't keep firearms in this house."

"Elvis who?"

"How could your Daddy possibly be your uncle?"

"I do not find my cousin attractive!"

"No pork rinds for me......watchin my cholesterol."

"I just have to find some time to go to the gym."

"Boy.......that Matlock sure does talk funny."

"We really should bathe the pig"

"The police are our friends."

"Boy!......you best go warsh that red off ya neck!"

"No, I don't have room for one more set of tires at my house!"

"Excuse me while I spit."

"I just loved my Language Arts teacher!"

"What gun show?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday Morning.He said "Today, church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind. The pastor shouted out, "Cross."Immediately the congregation started singing in unison "The Old Rugged Cross."The Pastor hollered out "Grace." The congregation began to sing "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."The Pastor said "Power." The congregation sang "There is Power in The Blood."The Pastor said "Sex."The congregation fell in total silence.Everyone was in shock.

They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden way from in the back of the church
a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing

"Precious Memories"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One time when Michigan State was playing UCLA in football, the score was
tied at 14 with only seconds to play. Duffy Daugherty, Michigan State's
coach, sent in place-kicker Dave Kaiser who booted a field goal that won
the game.
        When the kicker returned to the bench, Daugherty said, "Nice
going, but you didn't watch the ball after you kicked it."
        "That's right, Coach," Kaiser replied, "I was watching the
referee instead to see how he'd signal it. I forgot my contact lenses,
and I couldn't see the goal posts."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saudi Arabia has pledged to fight rising oil prices.
Let's hope it works out a little better than their
pledge to fight terrorism. - Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        My husband was once employed in the printing division of a large
manufacturing firm. One morning, word came from the top that some
visiting VIPs would be touring the plant in just a few minutes.
      All production was immediately shut down as employees scrambled to
quickly tidy up the work place.
     When the appointed lookout yelled, "Here they come!" fifty fingers
that were poised over fifty machine start-up buttons pressed down in
unison and blew every fuse in the building.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
      A car company can move its factories to Mexico and claim it's a
free market.
        A toy company can outsource to a Chinese subcontractor and claim
it's a free market.
        A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes and claim
it's a free market.
       We can buy HP Printers made in Mexico.
       We can buy shirts made in Bangladesh.
       We can purchase almost anything we want from many different
countries BUT, heaven help the elderly who dare to buy their
prescription drugs from a Canadian (Or Mexico) pharmacy. That's called
un-American!
       And you think the pharmaceutical companies don't have a powerful
lobby? Think again!
      (Please forward this to every person you know over age 50)
rerun but very true
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ONE BRAIN IN THE BUNCH
The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider
of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to
quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts
at some of them.

"Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good
thing comes out of this drinking?"

"Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It
makes me miss the folks I shoot at."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Italian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine."
The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have tequila."
The Scot says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have Scotch."
The Swede says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have aquavit."
The Japanese says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have sake."
The Russian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka."
The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."
The Greek says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have ouzo."
The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Thank you for flying with America West. For
passengers who have won in Las Vegas; congratulations.
For those of you who are returning with less money
than you came with, on behalf of the residents of
Clark County who have children, we wish to thank you
for contributing to our school system."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The scene is sometime in the old era when cockpits had
round dials plus flight engineers and navigators. The
crusty old-timer captain is breaking in a brand new
navigator.
The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out a .38 and
rests it on the glare panel. He asks the navigator,
"Know what this is for?"
"No, sir," replies the newbie.
"I use it on navigators that get us lost," explains
the captain, winking at his first officer.
The navigator then opens his briefcase, pulls out a
.45 an sets it on his chart table.
"What's THAT for?" queries the surprised captain.
"Well, sir," replies the navigator, "I'll know we'relost before you will."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just Think About This!

Money doesn't go as far as it used to, but it does go faster.

Frogs have it easy; they can eat what bugs them.

Life is a mystery to be Lived, Not a Problem to be Solved.

A dry cleaner was indicted for money laundering. A deal is being ironed out.

They told the sexton and the sexton tolled the bell.

Earning money would be fun if it wasn't so taxing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love how the government keeps telling us that the
weather affects gasoline prices.

For example, when the weather was rainy and cold, it
takes more fuel to heat homes, so the price of oil
goes up.

And when the weather is warm and sunny, well, then
people take more vacations -- they drive further and
use more gas.

And the only time weather makes the price go down is
when it 'snows in hell.' That's about the only time. - Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend of mine is responsible for alumni relations
at his high-school alma mater.

Last fall, a member of the Class of 1986 returned the
standard alumni questionnaire with this response:

Marital Status - Not good
Wife's Name - Plaintiff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our friends, James and Florence, attend choir practice
Wednesday evenings and often head for a restaurant
afterwards with their fellow choir members. Florence
soon noticed that every time she had a glass of wine,
it was followed by a severe migraine headache. James
agreed with her that it might be better if she
abstained, and so she did. On one post choir occasion,
however, Florence decided, after some hesitation, to
order a glass of wine. Sometime passed with no
untoward consequences. Then she waved happily across
the big table where her colleagues all sat and
announced in a loud voice, "James, I don't have a
headache tonight!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My dad was golfing with a friend and went to the
restroom. When he came out he sighed audibly and
another golfer said to him, "Feel better?"

"Yeah," said dad, "It's the only place on the whole
course where nobody tells me to improve my stance or
change my grip!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friends and I had joined a weight-loss
organization. At one meeting the instructor held up an
apple and a candy bar. "What are the attributes of
this apple," she asked, "and how do they relate to our
diet?"

"Low in calories" and "lots of fiber" were among the
answers.

She then detailed what was wrong with eating candy,
and concluded, "Apples are not only more healthful but
also less expensive. Do you know I paid 75?? for this
candy bar?" We stared as she held aloft the forbidden
treat.

From the back of the room a small voice spoke up:
"I'll give you a dollar for it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My friend Nadine and I are close, and that allows us
to be honest with each other. As I fidgeted in front
of the mirror one evening before a date, I remarked,
"I'm fat."

"No, you're not," she scolded.

"My hair is awful."

"It's lovely."

"I've never looked worse," I whined.

"Oh Yes, you have," she replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and
fell flat on my face. As I was lying there, a woman
stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," I said, touched by her concern.

"Oh, good," she continued. "So will you be vacating
your parking space now?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was cold and rainy at the Atlantic Ocean resort
where I was spending my vacation, but I finally
bundled up and went down to the beach. There I saw a
man in a bathing suit, lying on a large beach
blanket. I walked up to him and asked why he was
punishing himself that way.

"I've been waiting all year for this vacation so I
could get some color," he said.

"And I'm going to get it - even if it's blue."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Direct TV announced it's coming out with satellite as
an option for the Cadillac Escalade.

The Escalades have incredible stereos in them,
refrigerators and now satellite TV.

Do you realize they're just one bathroom away from
being a mobile home? - Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"According to a new survey, overweight men are much
less likely to cheat on their wives than thin men.

Apparently, when an overweight man says he's getting
some on the side, he's talking about pudding." - Conan O'Brien
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**** Quickies ****
A sister from a local convent became a Certified Public Accountant to help small shop owners manage their finances better. Her title: "Nun of Your Business".
~
"His hungry eyes followed her longingly as the woman with the beautiful breasts slowly made her way back to her table. He thought, "Witch didn't leave any chicken for the rest of us."
~
"According to the Wall Street Journal, Phillip Morris is close to signing a deal to make Marlboros in China.
Well, that should solve China's overpopulation problem."
Jay Leno
~
I Wonder???

Ever wonder why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Does a kindergarten teacher have to know how to make the little things count.

Do the eggs in monasteries go out of the frying pan and into the friar?

If you crossed a pig with a karate expert would you get a pork chop?

If you had a talent for fibbing, would you have liability?

**** ****
Burglar??™s Remorse??¦ An Oklahoma woman was robbed of her TV, stereo,
and VCR this past weekend. On Monday, her home was apparently broken
into again, but this time nothing was stolen. In fact, the items stolen
over the weekend had been returned, the wiring restored, and the door
jamb damaged in the incident repaired. Just like the case of the
missing toilet, cops have nothing to go on. They??™re still
investigating. So, would this person be charged with theft or just
breaking and entering if caught? ??“ AP/Netscape News
BEATS ME

Some people just can't drive and talk on the phone at the same time.

Justin Mitchell Oaks, 21, was yakking behind the wheel of his Toyota Corolla on Interstate 10 in Tucson, Ariz., Monday morning when he drifted into a neighboring lane, the Arizona Daily Star reported.

Unfortunately for him, and his wife in the passenger seat, there was already a tractor-trailer truck there.

Miraculously, the Corolla was able to fit snugly beneath the truck's trailer, spinning around sideways so that it became wedged upright between the trailer's body and its rear wheels.

The truck pushed the car, with Oaks and his wife trapped inside, 800 feet down the freeway, its rear wheels grinding against the Corolla's passenger-side doors.

"They were lucky they didn't get squashed," said Arizona Department of Public Safety (search) Officer Jim Oien.

Often, Oien explained, truck trailers' wheels will roll right over cars in that position, killing the occupants.
HERE'S YOUR SIGN - STUPID STUPID
STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID
STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
You can join The Funnies
To subscribe, Click on link below
25438-subscribe@zinester.com
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**** Visiting Doc Taz M.D. D.V.M. ****

A young Native American woman went to a doctor
for her first ever physical exam.
After checking all of her vitals and running the usual tests,
the doctor said, "Well, Running Doe, you are in fine health.
I could find no problems. I did notice one anomaly, however."
"Oh, what is that, Doctor?"
"Well, you have no nipples."
"None of the people in my tribe have nipples," she replied.
"That is amazing," said the doctor. "I'd like to write this up
for The Indiana Journal of Medicine, if you don't mind."
She said, "OK."
???First of all" asked the doctor, "how many people are in your tribe?"
She answered, "approximately 500."
"And what is the name of your tribe?" asked the doctor.
Running Doe replied, "We're called "The Indiannippleless Five Hundred."

**** ON THIS DAY ****
THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON RETURNING

By: Joseph J. Mazzella

     I have a gift that I just can't seem to give away. Every time I
try to give it to someone I get it returned. I gave it to my Dad the
other day and he went and gave it right back. I tried to give it to
both my sons and daughter this morning, but they wouldn't keep it
either. They gave it back to me almost immediately. I tried to pass
it on to a few friends that I saw when I took my children to school,
but they refused to accept it and passed it back to me again. Later
on I saw my neighbor and offered it to her. She gave it back even
quicker than everyone else. Finally I even decided to try and give
it to all the strangers I passed on the street and in the stores. A
few of them looked like they might take it without passing it back
to me, but in the end every single person returned it.

     I looked at it in the mirror this afternoon wondering what was
wrong with it and why noone would keep it. It seemed like such a
beautiful, wonderful, joyous, and God given gift. In the end I
guessed that a gift this good couldn't be hoarded and had to keep
traveling on from heart to heart and soul to soul. It was no wonder
then that I kept getting my smile returned every time I tried to
give it away.

     I hope that all of you give your smile away today. Don't be
surprised ,however, if you find it returned back to you again and
again. A gift of such beauty, joy, peace, love, and delight is a
gift from God and it travels back and forth connecting hearts,
souls, minds, and lives. It is a simple gift that takes so little
effort and yet brings such goodness to this world. Its value is
beyond compare. It enriches the lives of those who receive it and
also the lives of those who give it away. It is the gift that keeps
on returning and the gift that blesses us all our lives long.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

ON THIS DATE IN COUNTRY MUSIC HISTORY:

Billy Mize, singer/songwriter/musician, born Arkansas City, KS 1929.

Eddie Noack, born D. Armona Noack, singer/songwriter, born Houston, TX 1930.

Roy Acuff "The King of Country Music" recorded "Be Honest With Me" 1941.

Duane Allen, The Oakridge Boys," born Taylortown, TX 1943.

Wayne Secrest "Confederate Railroad," born Alton, IL 1950

Karen Brooks singer/songwriter, born Dallas, TX 1954.

Justin Tubb and Goldie Hill recorded "Lookin??™ Back To See" 1954.

Mike Auldridge, Dobro player, born 1954.

Bill Carlisle and his group won the "Arthur Godfrey Talent Search," in 1957.

Dick Clark told the U.S. House of Representatives that he had never taken
payola for playing anyone??™s records on his show "American Bandstand." 1960.

Stephanie Bentley, singer/songwriter, born Thomasville, GA 1963.

James Bonamy singer/songwriter born Winter Park, FL 1972.

Marty Robbins released "What If I said I Love you/Baby That??™s Love" to
D. J??™s on 1983.

George Strait??™s "Beyond The Neon" album certified gold 1989.

Snuffy Jenkins, age 81, bluegrass pioneer banjo/guitar, died 1990.

Doug Stone had quadruple bypass surgery in Nashville, TN 1992.

Rhonda Vincent released her "One Step Ahead" album 2003.

Calvin Gilmore, star of the Carolina Opry, in Myrtle Beach, SC, debuted on
the Grand Ole Opry 2003.

Johnny Cash and Reba McEntire were honored in Los Angeles at the eighth
annual Prism Awards in 2004.

Frances Preston, BMI president and CEO, was honored by the State of
Tennessee for service to her community and state 2004. Frances is
a member of the Country Music Hall of Fame.

Provided by Bill Morrison at www.rockabillyhall.com/billmorrison.html

ON THIS DATE, COUNTRY MUSIC??™S TOP TUNES WERE:

1951 The Rhumba Boogie - Hank Snow

1959 White Lightning - George Jones

1967 Need You - Sonny James

1975 Blanket on the Ground - Billie Jo Spears

1983 American Made - The Oak Ridge Boys

        **** TODAY'S SPECIAL ****
PECAN CHICKEN

INGREDIENTS:

6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts,
pounded thin 4 cups ice water and
ice
4 t salt
3/4 cup ground pecans
2 whole eggs
2 T milk
2 T honey
1/2 t salt
1/2 t black pepper, course ground fresh

DIRECTIONS:

Marinate the chicken breasts in iced salt water for 1/2 hour. Beat milk
with honey, then add beaten eggs, salt and fresh ground pepper. Put egg
wash in one shallow bowl, and pecan meal in another. Dip each chicken
breast in the egg wash, then into the pecan meal and pat the meal into
the breast to form a crust. Place the breasts in a shallow baking pan
that has been sprayed with cooking spray, and bake for 35 minutes at
375, or until the breasts are done through.

Yield: 6 Servings
~&~
Quick Candied Yams

1        40-ounce can Yams
   1/2 cup butter
1        cup white or brown sugar
1        cup syrup from can

Place drained yams in shallow baking dish.

Combine syrup from can, sugar and butter in saucepan, stirring to
boil to thicken.

Pour sauce over yams.

Bake in 350 degree oven for 20 to 30 minutes, basting frequently.

Vary the above recipe with these taste-tempting garnishes:

a. Sprinkle lightly with ground cinnamon and/or nutmeg.

b. Place a few slices from a whole orange on yams in dish and
add 3-tablespoons orange juice to liquid before basting.

c. Place a small sprinkling of crushed pineapple on yams in dish
and add 3-tablespoons pineapple juice to liquid before basting.
~~~~

TIPS FOR GETTIN GRILLIN'

Try some fast, easy, new recipes that make your favorite grilled chicken
even better.

* Coat the cooking grate lightly with vegetable spray to keep the
chicken from sticking. Prepare the fire 1/2 hour before grilling.

* Add flavor through aromatic wood chips like hickory, mesquite or
fruitwood.

* The grill will be ready when the charcoal is about 80 percent
ashy-gray. Cook chicken over a medium-hot fire. You should be able to
hold your hand a few inches above the coals for 3 to 4 seconds.

* Turn chicken every 5 minutes to insure even cooking and doneness.

* Cook chicken until the juices run clear. The white meat should reach
an internal temperature of 170-175 degrees. Dark meat should reach an
internal temperature of 180-185 degrees on a meat thermometer.

* Use tongs instead of a fork to turn the chicken. This will prevent
loss of juices.

* Skin on a whole chicken or parts helps prevent drying and toughening.
You can pull the skin off after the chicken is cooked, if desired.

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Does bottled drinking water go bad?

In the FAQ section, someone asked why the company's bottle water has an expiration date. The answer explains that some states require all food and beverages, including bottled water, to state an expiration date on the label. The company says, "we feel that an average storage of two years will help ensure optimal quality." They go on to recommend that you store bottled water in a cool and dry environment, away from non-food products.

We turned to the MadSci Network for more information. Answering the question of why bottled water has an expiration date, the site states that over time, the water picks up flavors from its packaging. These flavors, combined with warm storage temperatures, contribute to the "generation of musty tastes."

According to the International Bottled Water Association, the FDA has not established a shelf life for water, so you can store those bottles indefinitely. As long as the packaging is intact and unopened, you shouldn't need to worry about any type of bacteria or microorganisms growing in the water. If the bottle has been opened, however, it can grow bacteria and algae if it is not consumed within 2 weeks.

So while it doesn't appear that unopened bottles of water actually go "bad" in the sense that they would make you sick, they might not taste the greatest after several years of sitting on the shelf collecting dust.

**** WABASH VALLEY WEATHER ****
Weather Summary:
A few light showers Thursday night but nothing big. A much stronger
storm moves in for Friday night and Saturday. Showesr will develop on
Friday and some t-storms are possible later in the day. Most of the rain
and storms will come late Friday through Friday night and early
Saturday. It looks like most of the severe weather will stay south of
the Ohio River where a major outbreak could happen. A few stronger
storms will be possible in the southern areas. The rain will taper off
on Saturday morning. Rainfall totals could be in the range of 1"-2" with
a few areas seeing even more. As the storm moves east of here on
Saturday, winds will be strong with gust to 40 mph. This will drive
colder air in and by Sunday morning, temperatures will be in the mid to
upper 30`s. Some wind and very wet ground should keep any frost to a
minimum. Temperatures will stay below normal for next week but we will
see a slow warming trend by late next week.

-- Jesse Walker

Weather Factoid:
The average high temperature since last Saturday has been 15 degrees
BELOW normal!

Thursday Night
Few Showers, Mainly Early
Low 44

Friday
Showers Developing, PM T-Storms
High 62

Friday Night
Showers / Storms, Some Heavy Rain
Low 46

Saturday
Showers Ending, Windy and Very Cool
High 57
Low 46

Sunday
Partly Sunny
High 60
Low 35

Monday
Showers Possible
High 60
Low 40

Tuesday
Partly Sunny
High 63
Low 42

Wednesday
Partly Sunny
High 67
Low 45

Thursday
Partly Sunny
High 68
Low 48

****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
"I don't know why they call counterfeit bills 'funny money.' You get
stuck with a twenty and see how much laughing you do." ~ Robert Orben

TOON TIME

Don't take anything you see in the Funnies personally. 
The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing more.
Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.   
The Funnies are strictly an opt-in service.
We do not sell, lease, loan, or give our subscribers' 
addresses to anyone for any reason. 
Our features are intended to be for entertainment only.
~
GOD BLESS
AMERICA
   ~ 
To subscribe, Click on a link below
25438-subscribe@zinester.com
~
To unsubscribe from this opt-in mailing list
click on link at the end of this mailing
~
Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004 
Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or 
comments at: jim4615@earthlink.net
or
Jim Dowers
P.O. Box 521 
Carlisle, IN 47838-0521
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Unsubscribe link is at the END of this list

REMEMBER 
THE COLUMBIA & THE STS 107 CREW
NEVER FORGET 9-11 
God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand
&&&&&&&&&&
THIS DOCUMENT IS VIRUS FREE
Scanned by McAfee, Inc. 3965 Freedom Circle, Santa Clara, CA 95054
~
Unsubscription Email: 25438-unsubscribe@zinester.com
Unsubscrip



46925/ 



er.com/mpb/unsub.cg



46925/ 



.cgi?25438