|
If ya don't
like the music, Just turn it off
V
From Carlisle ,Indiana
 Welcome to 
The Almost Daily Funnies
"Friends are God's
way of taking care of us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are
PG - Not intended
for younger readers - PG
Welcome New
Subscribers
Anyone without a sense
of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help
Them
THURSDAYJUNE 02,2005
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
Marriage is like a tango. . . it takes two, and occasionally
one has to
bend over backward to keep the dance
going.
An instructor in the BASIC
programming language was teaching his class
how to write a simple program
and execute it. When each student had all
their program steps keyed in, he
told the class to type R-U-N and enter.
A lady in the back of the class said
that it didn't work. It turned out,
when the instructor had said to type
R-U-N, she had typed, "are you
in."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rummaging through
her attic one day, my friend Kathryn found
an old shotgun.
Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her
parents.
"Take it to the police station," her mother suggested. My
friend was about to hang up when her mom added....
"And,
Kathryn?"
"Yes, mom?"
"Call them first
and let them know you're
coming."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Confiding in a
co-worker, I told her about a problem in our office and my fear that I would
lose my job. She was concerned and said she would pray for me. I know she keeps
a list of ten people she believes need her prayers the most, so I asked if she
had room for me on her list.
"Oh, yes," she replied. "Three of the people
have died."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the woman who was
applying for a job as a typist, the employer said: "You have plenty of speed and
are good at spelling, but do you understand the importance of punctuation?" "Oh
yes," the woman replied "I always get to work on
time."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the
first time, my wife was playing charades. She indicated she was going to act out
one word, held up her hand and fluttered her fingers while moving her arm down.
"Rain!" I called out. She shook her head no and went on to other pantomimes of
her word. I gave up and took the word card from her hand. There, written in
large letters, was the word reign.
Puzzled, I said, "But Dolores, why did
you say I was wrong?"
"It wasn't spelled right," she
explained.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MURPHY'S LAW
On her way to work, a
colleague of mine had fallen and grazed her knee. At the office I told her where
the first-aid metal box was kept, and she left to get a bandage. When I saw her
later that morning, I noticed that she had a large bulky dressing on her finger.
"I thought it was your knee you injured when you fell. What happened to your
finger?" I asked. She replied, "I sliced it on the first-aid box and had to go
to the doctor to get it stitched!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At the UPS cargo phone
center where I worked, a woman called and said, "I need a baseball
quote."
I immediately answered with Yogi Berra's famous "It ain't over
'til it's over!"
There was a brief moment of silence before the woman
asked, "What was that?"
"You asked me for a baseball quote," I responded,
"and that was the first thing that came into my head."
"Oh," she replied.
"My husband told me to call and get a baseball quote."
I asked if she
wanted to ship something, and she said she did. Then it dawned on me: "Do you
mean you want a ballpark figure?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meat Tenderizer
A
guy was driving down through the South and being hungry, he stopped at a
roadside diner. Entering, he say a sign advertising the special "Fresh
Venison"
The guy orders the Special, and after completing the meal, he
saw the cook standing behind the counter and said,"My complements to the chef,
that was probably the tenderest venison I have ever eaten"
The cook
looked at him with a smile and replied, "Yep, an 18 wheeler will do that won't
it?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and
the priest almost fell down when
he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in
church in his life. After
Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and
said,
"Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass! What made you
come?"
Murphy said,
"I got to be honest with you, Father. A while
back, I misplaced me hat
and I really, really love that hat. I know that
McGlynn had a hat just
like me hat, and I knew that McGlynn came to church
every Sunday. I
also knew that McGlynn had to take off his hat during
Mass and I figured
he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was
going to leave
after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."
The priest
said,
"Well, Murphy, I notice that you didn't steal McGlynn's hat.
What
changed your mind?"
Murphy said,
"Well, after I heard your
sermon on the ten commandments, I decided I
didn't need to steal McGlynn's
hat."
The priest gave Murphy a big smile and said,
"After I talked
about, 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' you decided you would
rather do without the hat
than burn in hell, right?"
Murphy shook his head and replied,
"No,
Father . . .. after you talked about, 'Thou Shalt Not Commit
Adultery' I
suddenly remembered where I left me
hat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One evening,
Milton shows his wife their latest telephone bill. "Rose,
you just have to
cut down on your calls. This bill is for over $300 and
that's a very high
cost for just 1 month."
"You're right, darling," Rose says, "I promise to
do my best to curtail
my calls."
"Thanks," says Milton. Milton starts
to monitor the calls on a daily
basis and is pleased to see that Rose is
keeping to her promise. But
then gradually, as he thought would happen, he
sees the daily elapsed
time start to increase again. Then one evening,
as Rose dials a number
and makes another call, Milton decides to discuss the
situation with her
when she puts down the phone, whenever that will be.
Fifteen minutes
later, Rose puts down the phone.
"What a surprise,"
says Milton sarcastically, "how come such a short
call?"
"Oh, it was a
wrong number, darling." she says.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a
Farmer working
in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's
soul the preacher asked the
man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard
of the Lord, my good man?"
Not
even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, the
farmer replied,
"Naw, these are soybeans."
"You don't understand," said the preacher.
"Are you a Christian?"
With the same amount of interest as his previous
answer the
farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be looking for
Jim
Christian. He lives a mile south of here."
The young determined
preacher tried again asking the farmer,
"Are you lost?"
"Naw! I've
lived here all my life," answered the farmer.
"Are you prepared for the
resurrection?" the frustrated preacher
asked.
This caught the farmer's
attention and he asked, "When's it
gonna be?"
Thinking he had
accomplished something the young Preacher replied,
"It could be today,
tomorrow, or the next day."
Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket
and wiping his brow,
the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my
wife. She don't
get out much and she'll wanna go all three
days."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A very drunken man gets on a
city bus late one night, staggers up
the aisle, and sits next to an elderly
woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you
-
You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and
shouts, "Good heavens, I'm
on the wrong
bus!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Britain's Conservative party were
shocked when it discovered the
mystery plants growing in the backyard of
their Cardiff, Wales
headquarters were
cannabis.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow turned to a woman sitting
beside him in a bar and said;
"Drinking makes you look beautiful,
darling."
She looked a little surprised and answered, "but I haven't had
a
drink yet."
He smiled and said, "no, but I
have!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I was young, I was put in a school
for retarded kids for
two years before they realized I actually had a hearing
loss.
And they called ME slow!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cowboy's
Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church
in Fairlie,
Texas.
(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No
telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday
meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with
another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch y! ! ! er
mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for
yer buddy's stuff
Now that's kinda plain an' simple don't ya
think?
Y'all have a good
Day.
Y'hear?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A North Carolina man has
gotten out of jail, after serving 35
years for stealing a black and white TV.
He says the first thing
he wants to do is steal one of those big screen
plasma Hi-Def
TV's.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Porsche is working on a hybrid
SUV. A hybrid SUV with the Porsche
name. Perfect for a man in his midlife
crisis who is married to a
soccer mom. A Porsche hybrid SUV sounds as
marketable as a Humvee
moped.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During his
fourth year of study at The College of New Jersey, my friend Ted, a geography
major, was given a difficult assignment that included charting and compiling a
book of nearly a hundred maps. This task took him several weeks to complete.
When he had finally finished, he fell back in his chair with a grin on his face
and declared, "Together, at-las!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MOMMIES ARE SMART
I was out walking with my then 4 year old
daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in
her mouth. I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because
it's been lying outside and it is dirty and probably has germs on it," I told
her in my best mommy voice.
At this point, she looked at me with total
admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
"Uh," I was
thinking quickly, "...all moms know this stuff. Um, it's on the Mommy Test. You
have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in
silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new
information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed. "If you flunk, you have to be
the Daddy."
When you're finished laughing, send this to a
Mommy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gee, I didn't think it was that
funny -Jb
****
Quickies ****
"This is wonderful weather we are having. It's a
beautiful
spring, everyone is in a great mood. As matter of
fact
over at St. Patrick's I saw the priests loading their
Super
Soakers with holywater." --Dave Letterman
~
According to a study in McCall's
magazine, the sexiest thing a man can say to a woman is "Let me do the dishes."
This is what I hate about these magazines; they set impossible
standards.
~
Q. Why didn't the frog sit on the
toadstool?
A. Because there wasn't mushroom.
~
Q. Why isn't your nose 12 inches long?
A.
Because then it would be a foot!
~
Q. How do you cut a
wave?
A. With a sea saw.
~
Q. What do
you call a happy Lassie?
A. A jolly collie.
~
Q. Why did the spider have fireflies for
dinner?
A. It wanted to have a light meal.
~
A laugh is a smile with fireworks.
~
Q. Where do hogs keep their money?
A. In piggy
banks.
~
Q. What did one penny say to the other
penny?
A. Together we make cents.
~
Q. How can you tell
when a fax has been sent from a blonde?
A. It has a stamp on
it.
~
Q. What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM,
SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A. A blonde going through a flashing red
light.
~
Q. Why did the blonde keep a coat
hanger in her back seat?
A. In case she locks her keys in her
car.
~
"Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first
question
I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to
spend
their weekends with?" --Rita
Rudner
~
One of my 16-year-old
daughter's classmates had just received a new textbook. She sniffed it and said,
"This smells good." My daughter took the book and exclaimed, "This smells just
like my dad!"
Dad operates a printing press
~
A bore is someone who
tells a story from A to ZZZ.
~
The taxpayer, that's someone who works for the federal government
but doesn't have to take a civil service examination.
~
After a family meal at
my brother's, he and I were doing the dishes when his wife cautioned us to be
careful with the crystal. When she was out of earshot, I confided to my brother
that I couldn't really tell crystal from glass. "Oh, that's easy," he replied.
"I go by the look on Rita's face when I handle it."
****
HERE'S YOUR SIGN - STUPID ****
Police in Gillette,
Wyoming are looking for a well-tanned man. The
unidentified man went
on a tanning spree Saturday, purchasing tanning
sessions at several salons
across town. While that??™s odd in itself, his
behavior is what??™s caught
the cops??™ attention. During one session, the
suspect stepped out of
his booth in a T-shirt and underwear asking for
assistance. He was
helped, but stepped out again wearing only his
underwear and asking for the
bathroom. After leaving, workers
discovered he had peed in the
medicine cabinet and all over other
fixtures in the bathroom.
Apparently, the man went to 3 other locations
exhibiting the same
behavior. Cops say he faces possible indecent
exposure and destruction
of property charges. The suspect is a white
male, obviously tanned,
6-ft tall, yadda yadda, and possibly driving a
matching TAN car. Proof
that even artificial sun can bake your brain??¦ -
Kristy Gray,
News-Record
http://www.gillettenewsrecord.com/articles/2005/05/31/news/news2.txt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
****
WEIRD HAPPENINS ****
It was Westside Story meets
Buddhist Temple when five Thai Buddhist
monks from different temples were
defrocked and fined for brawling with
each other. After years of
rivalry and antagonism between the temples,
the tension finally culminated
in your common street fight after the
flipping of a single finger. You
know which one. One of the
participating monks, Boonlert Boonpan (just
had to throw that name in
there) said, ???When an ordinary person is given a
middle-finger sign, he
will be mad. So am I.??? Boonpan also admits he usually
carries a
knuckle-duster in his shoulder bag during the morning collection
of
alms. All the monks, ages ranging from 15 to 28, were fined around
$25
and stripped of their monkly duties. ??“ Reuters
http://today.reuters.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=2005-05-31T133025Z_01_BKK4511_RTRIDST_0_ODD-THAILAND-MONKS-DC.XML
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You can join The Funnies
To subscribe, Click on link
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**** Visiting Doc Taz M.D. D.V.M. ****
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg. After
a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a
horse.
"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells
him.
The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He
hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and
gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the
examining room.
The doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water. "Ok,
after the tablet dissolves, you should soak that leg for at least 30
minutes."
~~~~
After a long day of being called upon to visit an endless
series of
horses and cows with sore legs, I finally returned to the animal
clinic.
Although exhausted, when I discovered I had a slow leak in one of
my
truck tires, I drove over to get it fixed at the local service
station.
The mechanic knew immediately he was dealing with one very
tired
veterinarian after I carefully explained to him that my truck seemed
to
be lame in the right hind tire.
**** Cool Links ****
Remembrance
http://www.bobbydarin.net/Remembrance.html
Antique Fishing Lures and Lure
Boxes
http://www.antiquelures.com/
Virtual
Hospital
http://www.vh.org/index.html
**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
My
Causes Please Help
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on
"donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't
cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily
visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
Here's
the web site! Pass it along to people you
know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting
enough people to
click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free
food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than
a minute to go to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"
for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate sponsors/advertisers
use the number of daily visits to donate food
to abandoned/neglected
animals in exchange for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it
along to people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
Send'em
and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject
Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****
|
The Extra Mile with Kyle |
|
Busch: Lowe's cars have winning formula over a long
weekend. |
|
|
|
|
|
Servia replaces Junqueira |
|
Newman-Haas team finds sub for injured Champ Car
leader. |
|
|
![]() |
|
Rice cleared to race again |
|
Doctors say former Indy champ OK to drive in June 11 IRL
race. |
|
|
****
BILL'S COUNTRY CALANDER ****
Carl Butler
of 'Carl & Pearl Butler' singer/songwriter, born Knoxville, TN
1927.
Bobby Bobo, Midwestern Hayride WLW, born Brookfield, OH
1931.
Carl Smith debuted on the charts with "Let's Live a
Little" 1951.
Del Reeves released "Cool Drool,"
1958.
Clarence "Tom" Ashley, age 71, Traditional
Bluegrass/Vocals/Banjo, died 1967.
Marty Robbins released "I Can't Say Goodbye/Hello Daily
News" 1969.
Capitol Records released Buck Owens' album "Buck Owens In
London" 1969.
The Indian Springs Bluegrass Festival debuted in Maryland
in 1972.
Waylon Jennings topped the charts with "Luckenbach, Texas"
1977.
Conway Twitty's "Don't Call Him A Cowboy" was #1 in
1985.
Travis Tritt hospitalized in Nashville, after collapsing in a
recording studio. He was treated
for severe exhaustion and dehydration
1995.
Alabama released their album "The Essential"
1998.
Liberty Records released Suzy Bogguss's "Nobody Love,
Nobody Gets Hurt" 1998.
Helen Carter, age 70, died Nashville, TN 1998. She
was the daughter of Mother Maybelle Carter,
and sister of June Carter Cash.
BNA released John Anderson's album "The Essential" 1998.
Adolph Hofner, Western Swing pioneer, died in San Antonio,
TX 2000.
Provided by Bill Morrison at
www.rockabillyhall.com/billmorrison.html
ON THIS DATE, COUNTRY MUSIC??™S TOP TUNES
WERE:
1945
At Mail Call Today - Gene
Autry
1953
Take These Chains from My
Heart - Hank Williams
1961 Hello
Walls - Faron Young
1969 Singing My Song - Tammy Wynette
1977 Luckenbach,
Texas (Back to the
Basics of Love) - Waylon Jennings
1985 Don??™t Call Him a Cowboy - Conway Twitty
**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS
****
ABC to Air CMA Awards, CMA Music Fest
Special
The CMA Awards will air on ABC in 2006, the first
time the
network has aired the show. CBS has carried the
awards
ceremony since 1968, and NBC televised it prior to
that.
Now, ABC has the rights until 2012. The CMA Awards
will
celebrate its 40th anniversary in 2006 during a show
at
the Gaylord Entertainment Center in downtown
Nashville.
This year's CMA Awards show takes place Nov. 15 at
New York
City's Madison Square Garden and will be broadcast by
CBS.
.. In related news, ABC will air a two-hour special
based
on the CMA Music Festival on Aug. 2. The four-day
event
will take place in downtown Nashville on June
9-12.
Kenny's Wife A "Happy
Girl"
This morning on Good Morning
America, Kenny Chesney's new wife,
Renee Zellweger, spoke to Diane Sawyer
about pulling off the most
secret wedding of the
year.
**** TODAY'S
SPECIAL
****
"Bacon and Cheddar Quiche"
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup cold butter, cut in small pieces
2 to 3
tablespoons ice-cold water
"Filling"
8 strips lean bacon, cooked and
crumbled
4 large eggs
1 1/2 cups light cream
1/4 teaspoon dried leaf
thyme
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 cup shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
Prepare crust for quiche. In a mixing bowl, mix together flour and salt. Cut
in cold butter with a pastry blender until coarse crumbs form; add water, a
little at a time, until dough holds together and forms a ball. Shape into a
disk, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for about 30 minutes.
On a
lightly floured surface with a floured rolling pin, roll out dough into a circle
about 11 inches in diameter. Fit dough into a 9-inch pie plate or quiche pan.
Trim edges, leaving a little overhang, about 1/4-inch all around the edge. Prick
dough with a fork. Line with foil and fill with dried beans or pie weights. Bake
quiche crust for 10 minutes at 375?°.
In a small
bowl, whisk together the eggs, cream, thyme, and pepper. Pour into the baked
crust. Crumble bacon over the top with the shredded Cheddar cheese. Bake at 375?°
for about 30 minutes, or until quiche filling is set and lightly browned. Serve
quiche with fresh tomato wedges.
Serves
8.
**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT
****
Why are people who carry a coffin at
a funeral called "pallbearers"?
It stands to reason that a pallbearer is one who bears, or carries,
a pall. So what's a pall? The word comes
from the Latin pallium, which refers to a cloak or covering.
Thus, a pall
refers to the cloth covering the coffin. In the case of a military funeral, the
pall is often a national flag.
The word can also be used in a general
sense to refer to anything that cloaks, shrouds, or obscures. In ecclesiastical
terms, the pallium refers to the robes worn by the Pope. Coffin palls probably
come from burial cloths. The practice of wrapping a body in a shroud dates from
antiquity
**** WABASH
VALLEY WEATHER ****
Weather Summary:
A few showers in far
Southeastern areas Wednesday night, otherwise warm
and calm. Thursday a few
showers possible, but most likely the farther
South and East you go. By
Friday look for skies to become partly sunny
and temperatures back to around
80. For the weekend it will be warm and
humid with a chance of scattered
showers and thunderstorms. That weather
pattern will carry into the start of
next week.
-Jesse Walker
Weather Factoid:
No Category 5 hurricane
has ever hit the U.S. in the month of June!
Wednesday Night
Mostly
Cloudy
Low 60
Thursday
30% Chance of Rain, Most Likely South and
East
High 77
Thursday Night
Partly Cloudy
Low 60
Friday
Becoming Partly Sunny
High 80
Low 60
Saturday
Showers / T-Storms
High 83
Low 62
Sunday
Showers /
T-Storms
High 85
Low 65
Monday
Showers / T-Storms
High
85
Low 65
Tuesday
Showers / T-Storms
High 82
Low 65
Wednesday
Partly Sunny
HIgh 82
Low 64
****A PARTING THOUGHT
****
SUPPORT BACTERIA. THEY'RE THE ONLY
CULTURE SOME PEOPLE HAVE.
TOON
TIME
Get A Cell Phone
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22276.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22276.htm
"> Here!</a>
Shes Driving
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22275.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22275.htm
"> Here!</a>
Fly Fishing
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22274.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22274.htm
"> Here!</a>
Keeping Up Appearances...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/appearances.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/appearances.htm"> Here </a>
Great Street Art...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/streetart.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/streetart.htm">
Here </a>
Monkey See....
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny816.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny816.html">Here!</a>
Fish Biting?
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22273.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22273.htm
"> Here!</a>
Cat Got Your Tongue
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22271.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22271.htm
"> Here!</a>
Lose Weight Fast
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22272.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22272.htm
"> Here!</a>
I Care About You...
http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/icare.htm
<a
href="http://www.ezines4all.com/pics/icare.htm">
Here </a>
Copter (Addictive little game)...
http://www.ezines4all.com/games/copter.htm
<a
href="http://www.ezines4all.com/games/copter.htm">
Here </a>
How Many Hits
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny817.html
<a
href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny817.html">Here!</a>
Bad
Gnus
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30702.htm
Ouch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30703.htm
Goldfish
Sink
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30704.htm
LAST CALL Y'ALL
As the bus pulled away,
I realized I had left my purse under the seat.
Later I called the company and
was relieved that the driver had found my
bag.
When I went to pick it
up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me.
One man handed me my
pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box
containing the contents of my
purse.
"We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he
explained. "I
think you'll find everything there."
As I started
to put my belongings back into the purse, the man
continued. . .
"I
hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of
us
could fit everything into your purse and... well, we'd like to see
just how
you do it."
That's all folks
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